111 posts
(R)WBY: *Standing Wide Eyed In Their Doorway*
(R)WBY: *Standing wide eyed in their doorway*
Jaune: *Sitting at the edge of a bed, looking short of breath*
Ruby: *On floor between Jaune's legs, a white substance covering her face*
Ruby: Uh...
Ruby: Could I get like... five minutes to think up a good explanation?
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More Posts from Rodanhoax
Mercury: You know, I once lived in a tent in the yard for 6 months, waiting for my dad to let me back into the house.
Jaune: Oh do I know what that's like. Waiting for your so-called loved ones to acknowledge your existence!? Sitting alone in the dark, craving the love of a heartless man who kept you in a constant state of fear and-!
*Doorbell chime*
Jaune: Who could that be? 😊
Jaune: So you see, the bite that we saw in Fnaf 4 was actually not the previously thought Bite of 87. It was actually the bit of 83, where the crying child dies due to his brother, Michael, shoving him into Fredbears mouth.
Bleiss: *Nods* Mhm.Â
Bleiss: (Thoughts) Wow, he’s so dumb.
Jaune: Now, many believe this to not be true, as the source code for Fnaf 4′s teasers left the numbers 8 and 7 everywhere, but this was most certainly a red herring. Not only did the television in the crying childs home showed the date 1983, but Phone Guy back in Fnaf 1 stated the victim of the incident actually survived. Meaning these are, without a doubt, two separate incidents.
Bleiss: Right.
 Bleiss: (Thoughts) God, I wanna choke on his cock~
Ozpin: Nora Valkyrie, do you take Lie Ren to be your lawful husband, to love and to hold for as long as you both shall live?
Nora: YES! To eternity if I have to!
Ozpin: *Chuckles* And Lie Ren, do you ta-
Ren: Yes.
Ren: Apologies. I can barely contain my excitement right now.
Nora: Oh Renny...
Jaune: *Cries tears of joy on the side*
Ozpin: Well, with the power vested in me by numerous Kingdoms and the God of Light, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the... best man?
Ren: ...
Jaune: What now?
Nora: Are you screwing around with us Oz? Now of all times?
Ozpin: Don't look at me, Oscar went and got this book at the adult section at the library.
Oscar: Sorry guys, that's my b.
Nora: *Sighs* Well, gotta do things by the book I guess. Pucker up Jauney!
Jaune: Nora, I don't think you have t-
Nora: *Grabs Jaunes head and brings it down for a quick sensual kiss*
Audience: *Gasp in shock*
Nora: *Releases Jaune and licks her lips* Did you eat some of the wedding pancakes?! Those were for later!
Ren: I... can't believe what I just witnessed.
Jaune: *Panicking* R-Ren, I'm so sorry! I-
Ren: We've been planning this wedding for months, and you call that a wedding kiss? *Grabs Jaune by the collar and dips him into a intensely passionate kiss for a full minute*
Audience: 😳
Nora: Oh Renny!~
Ren: Mmmmwa! *Finally releases Jaune before unceremoniously dropping him to the ground.* Now then, shall we? *Offers arm*
Nora: We shall! *Takes his arm as the two walk down the aisle, resuming the ceremony as the audience shrug and clap for the newlyweds*
Jaune: *Lays motionless on ground, trying to regain the soul that was just sucked out of him*
Jaune: *Frantically searching around beacon* Ruby!? Ruby!?
Coco: *Atop staircase* Ruby!? Ruby!?
Jaune: Is your girlfriend named Ruby too?
Coco: No, but I figured if she's banging a guy like you, I got a shot. Ruby!?
Jaune: Wait what!? Ruby!?
Coco: Ruby!?
Jaune: RUBY!?
Jaune: Ren, we have to leave before they catch us, but we need to go get our weapons to stop Ironwoods crazy plan.
Ren: If we stop Ironwood’s plan, then Salem will able to reach the relics.
Jaune: *Grabs Ren’s shoulder* But if we don’t stop him all the people of Mantle will get killed. It’s like the hypocritic oath of Huntsmen Ren. To not get innocent people killed on purpose.
Ren: ... Jaune.
Jaune: Yes?
Ren: Kiss me.
Jaune: W-What?
Ren: You know you want to.
Jaune: No, I don’t.
Ren: You didn’t just want to kiss me just now?
Jaune: I didn’t.
Ren: Ok... But you’re right. Let’s grab our weapons and stop Ironwood! *Runs over to weapon locker*
Jaune: Now we’re talking! *Follows*
Ren: Right here. *Opens an empty locker before shoving and locking Jaune inside*
Jaune: What the hell?! Ren! Open the locker!
Ren: You’ll spend the night here. General Ironwood is complicated, but he knows what’s best! *Walks away*
Jaune: Ren? Ren!
Jaune: ... I will kiss you.
Ren: Too late. The moment’s gone Jaune.
Jaune: Ren! We can do more than kiss! Other things! REEEN!!!