Tonight I Listened To A Podcast About Forgiveness. Forgiving Someone Does Not Mean That You're Excepting

Tonight I listened to a podcast about forgiveness. Forgiving someone does not mean that you're excepting what happened to you is ok. Forgiveness means let it go so you're free and no longer tied to your past.

You forgive because you love yourself so much because you don't want to keep hurting yourself for what happened. What happened cannot be changed. But you can forgive and let it go so you can free yourself.

I want to forgive their wrong doing towards me. I want to let go of the past so I can be free for my future. I want to, but I am not ready. I haven't heal therefore I am not ready to forgive. One day I will be able to wish it will, bless it and wish it its own freedom. That day is not today.

I'm a work in process and I'm working on healing me so I can love me more. I know they are hurting too, but at this moment I don't care. I just don't care enough to feel bad for hurting them with my truth. They say hurt people hurt people. It's a vicious cycle that humans are engaging in.

Today was a little better, but the heart still hurts. No more talking about the situation. Can't change it. Still hurts coming from someone you once loved so much.

I never cut the emotional string between him and I. I knew we were never getting back together but the feeling and emotions were still there, that's why it hurts so much more.

Been thinking about the times we spent together and I do missed him, missed us. Missed having my person. Missed having a best friend, a travel buddy, date nights. Missed the sex, missed the connections. Missed the kisses.

But he has moved on, made that loud and clear for me to see. Now he has someone else to do all those things with him and I have no one but my pain and heartache.

Life is unfair sometimes. 💔

Did a tarot card reading today, she happens to be a life coach as well. The reading was positive. Good things to come. This break up for me hasn't been easy and will continue to be a work in process but the session with her reaffirmed and assured me that I'm heading in the right direction and this experience was meant to happen to me.

This is my experience and it's going to make me a better person. Makes me be better for my next relationship. Makes me aware of what I'm looking for in my next relationship. I've found love once and I'll find love again. I loved and was loved and I'll love and be love again.

I really did loved him and I really did want us to work out. We might have been right for each other but the timing wasn't right. Maybe in our next lifetime things will work out for us.

I'll miss him, I'll miss us. We had love and were in love. We have beautiful memories to look back on.

I'm feeling frustrated and angry throughout the whole day. I'm frustrated because I still think about him and how he gets to move on. Posting pics of his new love and enjoying his life while mines is full of emotions. I'm angry because he's still a coward and staying silent.

He always said he hated Tuesday because they always bring bad news to him when he was working. Now he has ruined Tuesday for me too because I found out about his lies on a Tuesday.

Fuck him and fuck his new relationship. I meant what I said about karma. Whether he deserves good things or bad things, that's between him and karma.

What goes around comes around my friend.

It's your 29th birthday today. I wished I was there to celebrate with you, make new memories with you. But I'm not. Someone else is. You've moved on and have someone new in your life. I no longer occupied your time, space, mind or your heart. Those spaces now have a new occupant, I no longer live there. I've been replaced with someone else. Someone younger, prettier, maybe even better than I was for you. Still hard to accept the reality of it, but it's the truth that I must face and accept.

I'm letting you go, in my mind and my heart. You've been physically gone, but emotionally you were always here with me, although you have already moved on from me. Now I have to emotionally let you go. You've moved on. I need to move on as well.

Happy birthday. I hope your day will be filled with love and happiness. I hope you're happy and at peace. I hope you found what you're looking for in your new home and environment. Should have told you that but I'm telling it to the universe to deliver you the message.

Today will be hard for me but I need to remind myself of my blessing and the good in my life.

Positive thinking, positive energy, positive light, positive me.

Good bye B.

I was able to forgive. I need to forgive and let go.

Forgiveness- the other side of forgiveness is freedom.  The true purpose of forgiveness is to stop allowing whatever the other person did to effect how I live my life now.

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. 

Forgive and set yourself free. Let it go.

Who have you not forgiven?  If you don't forgive your heart is block and you're the one hurting/suffering.  Where am I not forgiving. As long as my heart is open to love I am deflecting the miracle that is happening

Today I finally said good bye to my person, my best friend who will no longer be in my life. He has moved on and found someone new. I have been replaced. I no longer have my someone. I no longer matter in his life. I am no longer the woman in his life.

I forgive you. I forgive you. I will forgive all. I'm letting you go.

Good bye

Some beautiful pics from today's hike. Much needed for sure.