Imagine Jetpack Joyride Except Barry Doesn't Have The Weirdly Superhuman Strength Required To Break Through

imagine jetpack joyride except barry doesn't have the weirdly superhuman strength required to break through the wall so all you hear from inside the lab is a loud smack followed by a very pained "OW"

if archive.org hits me with a "job failed :(" ONE more time while i am trying to archive cohost css stuff im going to explode into a million bite-sized pieces

just checked Jetpack Joyride and apparently the multiplayer button is missing from the menu now after the Hygeine event ended.... hmmmm this is. very intriguing.

random thought but i love the idea of Herobrine being less of an explicitly evil character and more of a weird cryptid thing that exists by accident and can only be perceived at long FOV distances by humans, forever being sort of isolated from the rest of them to only be seen partially obscured by the fog. he physically exists, but can only be perceived as though he were a ghost. he's very curious about other humans, watching over them as they traverse the world, but he means no harm. this can often look like stalking behaviour which can freak other humans out and make him seem menacing or off putting. scrambled throughout the world are legends and scriptures written about this mysterious being that make him out to be terrifying and threatening. warnings, spells and summoning rituals are seen scratched across the walls of ancient catacombs and ruined civilisations. locked inside dusty chests are torn and withered parchments scribbled with illustrations that depict him to be some sort of monstrous eldritch creature, perhaps mistaking something more terrifying for the legends of the strange man all should beware that have persisted for centuries. others depict him more as a silent, stalking shadowed figure, lurking behind trees and mountains with unknown intentions.

the only reason he exists is because of a strange bug that causes a duplicate of the main player to generate along with the world, and no matter how many times the developers of Minecraft try to remove him, he always quietly comes back somehow, implying that the rules of the game they created has developed into its own ecosystem that is slowly developing its own independence separate from the game, and that Herobrine is an integral part of it. he might possibly be a remnant of an ancient experiment or society that has long since disappeared, but for whatever reason, Herobrine still persists.

wuh??? what's this??? an image of salesman barry???? SMILING???????? impossible!!!

(source: the thumbnail to this video)

every damn time