Go!

Go!

The doors are open wide

along with my eyes

staring at the nothingness

that used to be a space

filled with heady scents

of love

of joy

of the future

But everything changed

And the wind

that used to sing

me lullabies

now screams

silence

all around

All the sounds

that used to occupy

my mind,

your voice

the way you whisper

lies I believed

to be promises

disappeared

like they've never

been said

Oh you said

you will never

give up

on me no matter

what happens

So what happened

What made

you realize

I am difficult

to love

to understand

No, I am not

calling you back

again

This is me

telling you

to leave

be free

for I don't need

someone who doesn't see

beyond highs

beyond lows

So be free

It's better that you leave

now than later

For later would cause

a wound deeper

than the one I dug

beneath the ground

where I stand

Go!

-katie,21:45

I will never run

out of beautiful

things to say about you.

katie

The cold creeps

into my bed,

crawls into

my night gown,

freezes the heart

stirring from the dead

I shut the visions

forming on the ceiling,

the howling that steal

the music from within me

and think of you—the only

reason I want to remember

the past

You're there, a faint hope

dancing with the trees,

sparkling with the constellations,

leaving me warm

and full of anticipation

-the only reason,

katie

There's a part of me

that lingers

on the walls

in the sheets

and it

holds you still

loves you still

A part no one can fill

no one can steal

for even in your absence

you occupy it

Your weight

makes me feel so empty

I guess I am cursed

to suffer

a love

I cannot have

Endure the longing

that lasts

even after the day

you left me heartbroken

My world crumbled

with the waves

shrieking out

your name

I stayed true

to my promise

to cherish your memory

like I own you

Stayed true to it

when you decided to go

and I was bereft of reasons

All the days

after that

my love, I've been crawling

beneath the sheets

watching you fall asleep

from behind the walls

My tears are the only

company that I keep

as I vow to the wind

to trace the steps that we walked

praying to catch a glimpse

of where I fell short

and make it up to you

-katie, 18:45

There are words we speak

in our sleep

Don't you go,

don't you go

to far Zamboanga

It will maim me

to lie

on cold, lonely sheets

Don't you go,

don't you go

and leave my war-torn mind

raging,

sulking

as I try to recollect the years

we played Jack stone,

hide and seek

and then sneak

inside our nipa hut

My darling don't you go

please, don't you go

to far Zamboanga

I would be brokenhearted

and could no longer sing

the song we wrote together

You would detest me

when you come back

for I will refuse to hum

the words you taught

under the blue moon

Don't you go

don't you go

to far Zamboanga

Oh I know

it's pathetic

but here come the tears

I'll cry you a river

I'll hold you close

as I whisper,

You may go

you may go

to far Zamboanga

No one will stop

you now as I lay

me down

to slumber

-a folk song,

katie, 01:45

Please forgive me, said the rain

for I have come to flood you again

just like the last time when you drowned

from all the things you refuse to say

I am pouring like I don't care

But believe me, I feel your pain

Please, please forgive me, said the rain

before she fell to kiss my face

-drowning,

katie,

January 05, 2021, 20:15