Twcprose - Tumblr Posts

4 years ago

My heart is a place

Where pain has resided

A barren space

Where violence was incited

There have been

Broken fragments inside it

Scattered all around

So everyone

Who entered

Tripped and fell

And get bruised

Ran away

To seek shelter

Somewhere safe

And warmer

Than the winter

That engulfed me

For...

I was cursed

To make anyone

Who loves me suffer

For I'm not whole

Been in pieces for so long

Then you came

Like a silver lining

Who walked in

Exuding light

That sent worries

Out the door

You touched my skin

That has long been torn

As though you can heal

My still bleeding wounds

You did seal them

With your light caresses

Now they're closing

Oh the process

Is so breathtaking

You knocked on my heart

For oft, I hesitated

If I'll let you in

You'll get hurt

Or wounded

May trip against

My unpolished sides

May collide

With the unspeakable

Darkness I hide

You smiled

And took my hand

Severed the barricades

I've put to separate

Myself from you

You said you don't need it

Trusting your words

I unlocked my heart

So you could enter

And...

To my surprise

You started taming

My storm

Like you knew it by name

I was never a halcyon sea

But you calmed my waves

With songs

I've never heard before

Love, you enthralled me

By the way you closed

My wounds

Called every piece of me

Claimed them as yours

So they slowly gravitated

Like pieces of a puzzle

Finally falling into place

Now I'm whole

And will no longer hurt

For today...

Someone like you came

To meet me

At my worst

Made me better

As you continuously shower

Me with love

Made me believe

My pieces can't pierce

Anyone who gets near

For I am not broken

I am whole

And suddenly.....

I feel whole

For I am loved

And I am home

-a story to feed a starving heart, katie


Tags :
4 years ago

But we're under

The same blue sky

You and I

Illuminated

By the same stars

At night

Don't think

Distance

Is keeping us

Apart

For we're entangled

In an unbreakable

Embrace

So close your eyes

Feel me

Move with the earth

Beneath you

I'm with you

Always a part of you

Even if you're not

Physically here

We're together

Inextricably linked

To a common destiny

-love in the time of quarantine,

katie, 23rd of March 2020


Tags :
4 years ago

9th ❤

for Jeffry

You are the blessing I didn't ask for but were given;

You are the miracle I didn't pray for but happened.

You happened. And my love, I've become my best version. Thank you for calming my storm. Now everything in me is pacific. Thank you for taming my demons. Now they kneel and wear golden halos.

Since you happened, the lips that refused to pray started uttering praises to God who made this blissful encounter possible.

Because you happened, I lift my hands up above, call out in the voice of a Seraphim as I feel my wings growing...

Wings that were severed when I-

I renounced my faith in love.

You happened, so I regained everything I ever lost from fear and doubt and wrath.

You are the gift I didn't ask for but were bestowed;

You are the guardian I didn't pray for but were sent to bring me home...

You were sent TO BE my HOME.

-god sent, katie

7th of March 2020 @23:30


Tags :
4 years ago

She isn't your answered prayer.

She nags.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She argues.

She questions your intention.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She bleeds.

She crumbles.

She isn't perfect.

She isn't your answered prayer.

Sometimes she crawls back to her hide.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She lets negative thoughts swarm inside her head.

She drains the energy out of you.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She doubts.

She curses.

She remembers her traumas.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She drives you to the wall.

She isn't your answered prayer.

She shatters the illusion of a perfect relationship.

She isn't the ideal girl.

She isn't your answered prayer.

But she chose you over others who pursued her.

She tries to silence her demons when you're near.

She compromises.

She isn't your answered prayer.

But you should love her just the same.

-answered prayer,

katie, 18:00


Tags :
4 years ago

And now I lay me down

to sleep

on your chest, mesmerized

by the rhythm

of your heartbeat

I pull you closer,

can't seem to get enough

of you

as you whisper

sweet nothings

and then play

with my hair

I try my best

to stay awake

a little longer, my love

nuzzle your shirt,

remembering your scent

Since you came

reality has been better

far better

than my dreams

Oh I lay me down

to sleep

but your voice keeps

my mind alive

with all the thoughts

I run with you

Sometimes words

are scarce

but I hope you know

that you resemble

the stars

and that you are

enthralling

Now lay me

down to sleep...

-katie, 22:07


Tags :
4 years ago
Yes, I Cry In The Shower

Yes, I cry in the shower

cry rivers of tears

raging

from the corners

of my eyes, they don't dry

I punch the wall so hard

my knuckles hit

the rough cement,

they bleed

stories

that never end

I cry and cry,

the saltiness of

my tears mixes

with the droplets

of water running

down my scalp,

to my face

to my neck

to my chest

where a hole pulsates,

a life escapes

with the mist

fogging

the window

I try

to visualize

happiness but the stream

of thoughts rock

my brain, rip

my skull open

the creaking

dominates

the whimpers

I try to hide

under the guise

of water drenching

my naked body

-droplets running, katie

Image:Pinterest


Tags :
3 years ago

The cold creeps

into my bed,

crawls into

my night gown,

freezes the heart

stirring from the dead

I shut the visions

forming on the ceiling,

the howling that steal

the music from within me

and think of you—the only

reason I want to remember

the past

You're there, a faint hope

dancing with the trees,

sparkling with the constellations,

leaving me warm

and full of anticipation

-the only reason,

katie


Tags :
3 years ago

When I opened up about

my depression, my ex boyfriend

told me to get an exorcism

Yeah, if I remember it now

I can only laugh

and at the same time,

feel aghast at the ignorance

not just of my ex boyfriend

but of everyone else

who could not stop

the stigma that if you're

depressed, it's probably

because

you don't pray enough

that's why your mind

is so messed up like

paint splatters

Here's the thing, I pray

more than I should

kneel, hands clasped

tightly together as though

my whole life depends on

how firm my fingers could hold

on to one another, lips trembling,

trying to mumble pleas of guidance

to the Almighty, over and over

until I am certain that I am heard

Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt

His divine providence, but just as my anxiety

makes me go back to make

sure I left the door locked, I pray

five times a day to be sure my cries

reach the heavens

I pray harder than anyone I've ever

come across because I don't

wanna lose any chance to be cured

But then the demons still loom

inside my head, they managed

to make it their kingdom

You know one time, I was talking

to a dear friend and he told me,

"it's all in the mind"

My whole being sighed as I tried

to break free from the clutches,

the hands pushing my head deep

into the water, it's all in the mind,

my emotions aren't real

and if I could just snap out of it

then everything would be smooth

sailing, I am just sad

but my mind tends to intensify

that sadness, I overthink every

single thing even the ones I can't

control, and most often than not,

the sinking feeling leads me

to the decision that I am worthless

Grab a razor, a pin, a pair of scissors

anything sharp enough to cut

through my flesh so I could

bleed the negativities out

It's all in the mind, I try to

incorporate it in my mantra

However, just like the prayers

I say five time a day,

it does not work its magic trick on me

They told me I am merely an attention seeker

I am young and always in need of validation

That I always magnify my emotions

to their extremities

So I pull the sleeve of my cardigan

to cover the razor cuts, put on

a smile, okay I look dreadfully fine

The teacher calls me out, "sweetie

isn't it a little hot to be wearing

a cardigan?"

I tell her I am feverish as I feel

sweat dripping at my back

She'll leave me alone

like all of those who are

scared to meet me in the eye

but ended up judging me

I hear too many whispers

behind me, I say I don't mind

but I do, who wouldn't?

I just wish I could run

somewhere or could

disappear before the

stories catch up with me

My mother said I should ignore

people's opinion

for they don't define me, I do

But mama, the words crawl

on my bedroom wall, their

venom stain the pictures hanging,

the curtain, the floor

The noise becomes louder

drowning my heatbeat,

I put a hand over my chest,

It's time to pray again

I pray, pray harder than I used to

Beseech the heavens

to calm the waves devouring me

I repeat the mantra, seventy-seven times

It's all in the mind but the agony

is the realest I've ever felt in this life

I pull my cardigan, I can't bear to see

the cuts this time

I've been addicted long enough

to the sticky blood gushing

It's useless, for the real wound

is invisible

It's invisible

yet mighty enough to shrink

me into an insignificant mess

They all advised me to open up

so I can breathe

But, when I opened up about

my depression, my ex boyfriend

told me to get an exorcism

I am glad I didn't

-when i wore a cardigan at the height of summer, katie

image: https://id.pinterest.com/pin/730849845781054640/

When I Opened Up About

Tags :
2 years ago

It's been a while. I am thrilled to be back to make this announcement: My poetry book, Sweet Nothings is NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

"May the heart, in its exhaustion, remember to rest and indulge into the sweet memories of love songs resounding from its yesteryears.

These are the soft rambles that filled your mind as you lay awake in bed at the early hours of dawn. Those austere longings that snared your heart, relentless as the wind blowing on the trees, swift as the waves kissing the sand, tenacious as the rain chiming in with the beat of the music coming from your stereo, they are here—neatly scribbled and compiled into an anthology. These are your stories. The love notes you hastily jotted down at the last page of your high school textbook, the poems you composed during your weekend getaways, the letters you struggled to ink on stationeries while ardently wishing that one day, the love of your life will find and read them.

They are finally here. The long walks on the beach. The late-night conversations. The sultry kisses at the back seat of your car. The lingering glances. The love songs. The promises. The sweet nothings! They are all here, captured in prose and poetry. So, dear reader, bury your nose on the pages with utmost gusto. Whether you are a sojourner, a bold and willing settler, or a classic runaway in love, you’ve had your own share of sweet nothings, I am sure. Allow yourself to remember. Allow yourself to rediscover your youth, relive the love stories that ended, make peace with the pains they caused. Above all, allow yourself to breathe and celebrate the love stories that won over the years and stayed."

Get your copy through the following links:

Ukiyoto All Versions - https://www.ukiyoto.com/product-page/sweet-nothings

Amazon eBook - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WH8PMWN

Amazon Paperback - https://www.amazon.com/dp/9354904491

It's Been A While. I Am Thrilled To Be Back To Make This Announcement: My Poetry Book, Sweet Nothings

Tags :
2 years ago

It's been a while. I am thrilled to be back to make this announcement: My poetry book, Sweet Nothings is NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

"May the heart, in its exhaustion, remember to rest and indulge into the sweet memories of love songs resounding from its yesteryears.

These are the soft rambles that filled your mind as you lay awake in bed at the early hours of dawn. Those austere longings that snared your heart, relentless as the wind blowing on the trees, swift as the waves kissing the sand, tenacious as the rain chiming in with the beat of the music coming from your stereo, they are here—neatly scribbled and compiled into an anthology. These are your stories. The love notes you hastily jotted down at the last page of your high school textbook, the poems you composed during your weekend getaways, the letters you struggled to ink on stationeries while ardently wishing that one day, the love of your life will find and read them.

They are finally here. The long walks on the beach. The late-night conversations. The sultry kisses at the back seat of your car. The lingering glances. The love songs. The promises. The sweet nothings! They are all here, captured in prose and poetry. So, dear reader, bury your nose on the pages with utmost gusto. Whether you are a sojourner, a bold and willing settler, or a classic runaway in love, you’ve had your own share of sweet nothings, I am sure. Allow yourself to remember. Allow yourself to rediscover your youth, relive the love stories that ended, make peace with the pains they caused. Above all, allow yourself to breathe and celebrate the love stories that won over the years and stayed."

Get your copy through the following links:

Ukiyoto All Versions - https://www.ukiyoto.com/product-page/sweet-nothings

Amazon eBook - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WH8PMWN

Amazon Paperback - https://www.amazon.com/dp/9354904491

It's Been A While. I Am Thrilled To Be Back To Make This Announcement: My Poetry Book, Sweet Nothings

Tags :
2 years ago

It's been a while. I am thrilled to be back to make this announcement: My poetry book, Sweet Nothings is NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

"May the heart, in its exhaustion, remember to rest and indulge into the sweet memories of love songs resounding from its yesteryears.

These are the soft rambles that filled your mind as you lay awake in bed at the early hours of dawn. Those austere longings that snared your heart, relentless as the wind blowing on the trees, swift as the waves kissing the sand, tenacious as the rain chiming in with the beat of the music coming from your stereo, they are here—neatly scribbled and compiled into an anthology. These are your stories. The love notes you hastily jotted down at the last page of your high school textbook, the poems you composed during your weekend getaways, the letters you struggled to ink on stationeries while ardently wishing that one day, the love of your life will find and read them.

They are finally here. The long walks on the beach. The late-night conversations. The sultry kisses at the back seat of your car. The lingering glances. The love songs. The promises. The sweet nothings! They are all here, captured in prose and poetry. So, dear reader, bury your nose on the pages with utmost gusto. Whether you are a sojourner, a bold and willing settler, or a classic runaway in love, you’ve had your own share of sweet nothings, I am sure. Allow yourself to remember. Allow yourself to rediscover your youth, relive the love stories that ended, make peace with the pains they caused. Above all, allow yourself to breathe and celebrate the love stories that won over the years and stayed."

Get your copy through the following links:

Ukiyoto All Versions - https://www.ukiyoto.com/product-page/sweet-nothings

Amazon eBook - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WH8PMWN

Amazon Paperback - https://www.amazon.com/dp/9354904491

It's Been A While. I Am Thrilled To Be Back To Make This Announcement: My Poetry Book, Sweet Nothings

Tags :
2 years ago
A Woman Is Criminalized

a woman is criminalized

should she decide to

terminate a pregnancy

while a man can back out anytime

such is the reality

i am forced to live by

and so is jessica

and katrina

and amanda

and gabrielle

and thousands of others

in gritted teeth,

i try to swallow back

the bile rising from my throat

i feel nauseated

just thinking about that

night at the parking lot

where my jeans were torn

ferociously from my body

i tremble from the warm

puff of wind blowing

my nape

my boyfriend just learned

the truth this morning

when i threw up

all over the kitchen floor

he was aghast

i tried to reason out

he didn't use protection

because he expected me

to be the one responsible for it

it's a sad world,

gina could only weep now

a sad world for women

but therese tried to play it cool

though the pregnancy test

that screams positive in her face

shatters her composure

she never wanted this

haunting reality

but her neighbor had forced

himself on her one drunken night

an episode she's trying to drown

in a deadly shot of alcohol

it's a cruel world

but rachel is carrying her seventh child

seventh child!

as though the six she bore

aren't too many

rita had her second child today

via c-section

a procedure she could barely afford

but her labor seemed longer

than the death march

she was not able to bear down

so a cut suddenly became

a logical procedure

it's a cruel world

and dana knew it

the moment she was judged

for not wanting children

thus having her tubes tied

at twenty five

it's a cruel world

for maria

for delia

for claudine

for martha

and thousands

of other women

who have to live with

society's standards

of right and wrong

a woman is criminalized

should she decide to

terminate a pregnancy

while a man can back out anytime

i close my eyes

as i listen to people

with no uterus

decide on my future

-katie

Image: https://wallpaperaccess.com/download/sad-woman-1940837


Tags :
8 years ago

scared & scarred

Lying on the couch, scared of dying sane, drowning in spicy leather. Hungry fingers are yellow, but there are no cigarettes to be smoked. The thirsty throat burns, but there is nothing left to drink. To heal. Postponed trials leave bruises, but there are no words to be spoken. Letting the sun descend, afraid of heresy, breathing thoughts to be condemned. 

© Margaux Emmanuel 


Tags :