; Don't You Just Hate It When You're Overstimulated And Everything Is Far Too Bright And Reading Images

; don't you just hate it when you're overstimulated and everything is far too bright and reading images is suddenly like looking at the sun while chewing on grass, and also oh my god you have hair. But also you're stuck in this weird state of doom scrolling but you're also really bored and tired so you have to keep scrolling and overstimulating yourself because yes. /neg

; no ?? Just me ?? K.

Y'know, whenever people want to talk about why aspec people 'count' as an oppressed identity, they tend to go for the big stuff like corrective rape and conversion therapy. And like, we should absolutely talk about that stuff. Obviously those things are terrible and important and we need to raise awareness and deal with them.

But I feel like people often gloss over how… quietly traumatising it is to grow up being told that there is only one way to be happy— and that everybody who doesn't conform to that norm is secretly miserable and just doesn't know it— and then to gradually realise that, for reasons that you cannot help, that is never going to happen for you.

You're not going to find a prince/princess and ride off into the sunset. Or if you do, then it's not going to look exactly the way it does in fairytales. You're not going to get a 'normal' relationship, because you are not 'normal', and everybody and everything around you keeps telling you that that's bad.

You see films where characters are presented as being financially stable, genuinely passionate about their work and surrounded by friends and family, but then spend the rest of the plot realising that the real thing they needed was a (romantic and sexual) partner, to make them 'complete'.

You absorb the idea that any relationships you have with allo people will ultimately be unfulfilling on their side, and that this will be your fault (even if you discussed things with your partner beforehand and they decided that they were a-okay with having those sorts of boundaries in a relationship) unless you deliberately force yourself into situations that you aren't comfortable with, so as to make uo for your 'defects'.

You grow up feeling lowkey gaslighted because all the adults in your life (even in LGBT+ spaces. In fact especially in LGBT+ spaces) are insisting that it's totally normal to not be attracted to anybody at your age, and then you go to school and everybody keeps pressuring you to name somebody you're attracted to because they can't imagine not being attracted to anybody at your age.

And then you get older and realise that one day you're going to be expected to leave home, and that one day all your friends are going to be expected to put aside other relationships and 'settle down' with a primary partner and you don't know what you're going to do after that because you straight up don't have a roadmap for what a 'happy ending' looks like for someone like you.

(And the LGBT+ community is little help, because so many people in there are more than happy to tell you that you're not oppressed at all. That you're like this because you don't want to have sex, and/or you don't want to have any relationships, that your orientation is some sort of choice you made— like not eating bananas— rather than an intrinsic part of you that a lot of us have at some point tried to wish away.)

Even if you're grey or demi, and do experience those feelings, you still have to deal with the fact that you're not experiencing them the 'normal' way and that that's going to effect your relationships and your ability to find one in the first place.

If you're aiming for lifelong singlehood (which is valid af) or looking for a qpp, then you're going to have to spend the rest of your life either letting people make wrong assumptions about your situation (at best that your relationship is of a different nature than it actually is, at worst that the life you've chosen is really just a consolation prize because you 'failed' at finding a romantic/sexual partner) or pulling out a powerpoint and several webpages every time you want to explain it.

This what being aspec looks like for most people, and it is constantly minimised as being unimportant and not worth fighting against— even in aspec spaces— because we've all on some level absorbed the idea that oppression is only worth fighting against if it's big, and dramatic, and immediately obvious. That all the little incidents of suffering that we experience on a daily basis are not enough to be worth bothering about.

I mean, who gives a shit if you feel broken, inherently toxic as a partner, and like you're going to be denied happiness because of your orientation? Shouldn't we all just shut up and thank our lucky stars we don't have to deal with all the stuff some of the other letters in the acronym have to put up with (leaving aside the fact that there are many aspec people who identify with more than one letter)?

So you know what? If you're aspec and you relate to anything I've said above (or can think of other things relating your your aspec-ness that I haven't mentioned) then this is me telling you now that it's enough. Even if we got rid of all the big stuff (which we're unlikely to do any time soon because— Shock! Horror!— the big stuff is actually connected to all the small stuff) we would still be unable to consider our fight 'over' because what you are experiencing is not 'basically okay' and something we should just be expected to 'put up with'.

No matter what anybody tells you, we have the right to demand more from life than this.

; Leo has insomnia so naturally he's there, Donnie is up late working on projects and ran out of coffee, Raph heard the twins in the kitchen and Mikey was trying to sleep but heard arguing so planned to go full doctor delicate touch on their asses ... But then they all ended up ordering pizza instead.

; you cannot change my mind.

; ( @/tehbearr on tiktok )

; I think something really important that is often overlooked is that when people say " Pronouns don't equal gender " or anything along those lines, this goes for people who are cis as well.

; because I see or hear of so many instances where a cishet person will come out as wanting to use different pronouns then what you'd expect ( i.e. Cis woman wants to use he / him or they / them ) and people are either negative or confused. ESPECIALLY if they want to use neopronouns.

; it irritates me because those same people will be all " use whatever pronouns make you comfortable !! xx " then immediately shame a cis person for wanting to use what pronouns make them comfortable, or they start saying they must be trans or whatever the fuck !! You don't have to be non-binary to use they / them, you don't have to be a man to use he / him and you don't have to be a woman to use she / her. You can be cis and use whatever pronouns make you comfortable.

; so to all the lovely allies ( allys ?? ) who want to use different pronouns but are worried they're not allowed to, sincerely from a very queer person, go ahead !! Wether that's using multiple sets or the " opposite of your gender " or even neo pronouns, go ahead !! You being comfortable is so important. Ignore the people who reject you, or ridicule you or whatever, they're not worth it.

; keep doing what you're doing and being your most authentic self. Gender and all that jazz is a personal journey, and it's your journey, you get to decide what happens. So if using different pronouns is what you want to do, then good on you !! :]

; ( on this topic, if anyone needs help w gender related stuff or pronouns then feel free to either message me or send an ask !! /nf /gen )

; they call me a AAAA battery because that's what I also am but in a different flavour: Autism, ADHD, Anxiety and After effects of my ever growing guilt that keeps me up at night. ✨

they call me an AAA battery because I have Autism, ADHD, and Asthma!

; this !! Just, this !!

Listen, I love the LGBTQ+ community as much as any other queer person. But we have got to stop ostracizing people in our community to fit in with cishetallo people.

Some of y’all really do go ‘these are the acceptable boxes for queer people and their definitions, anyone outside of these is actually not queer and making us look bad’ and act like that’s ok. Now that being queer is generally acceptable in online/progressive areas (as long as you are one of the ‘well known’ orientations), a big part of the community has started regulating what’s ‘acceptable’ of a queer person and how we should fit into society.

I’ll see people hating on trans people who don’t fit into the ‘normal’ expectation of ‘Trans girl, Trans boy, or Non-binary’ or use Neo pronouns because that’s how they feel the most comfortable. I’ll see people hating on queer people who don’t like labels ( or try to assign people one even if they don’t want it). Or people who use a label in a way they don’t like (bi people who mostly date the opposite sex, lesbians who use pronouns other than just she/her, gender non-conforming people who don’t identify as trans, obscure micro-labels, etc.)

And it’s so frustrating because we as LGBTQ+ are supposed to be better!!! We are supposed to empathize with the feeling of not fitting in with regular society and help others like us! But the community has become part of the oppressive ‘societal standard’ for some people.

Some people just can’t be put into a perfect little label box and a lot of y’all aren’t cool about that. And I can’t believe I have to tell my fellow queers this, but there is nothing wrong with denying societal standards in order to live in the way that is genuine to you and makes you happy. End of story. If you disagree with that, look inward at your internal biases and try and fix that. Get rid of the cop in your brain telling you that you have to police others self-expression.