welcometothemaraudersspam - gravity's holding me back
gravity's holding me back

deni (21/she/her) • i kind of have a thing for boys who dont know i exist • masterlist

111 posts

Hiii, Could You Write A Draco X Reader Where He Just Spends The Night Being A Soft Boy With Her, Cuddling

Hiii, could you write a Draco x reader where he just spends the night being a soft boy with her, cuddling and kissing and talking about anything and everything in bed? Thanks💗

We’ll Be Alright | Draco Malfoy x Reader

Word Count: 1,267 words

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of the war, curse words, probably could have used even more fluff

The feeling of Draco's fingers running through your tousled hair made you melt further into his touch, wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of your nights like this with him.

You had invited him over to your apartment where you had previously shared with the Weasley twins. He graciously accepted, willing to do anything to get out of the Manor, where he still couldn't look at his father without wanting to hex him for putting him what he put him through.

"How long do you plan on staying?" You mumbled into the soft fabric of his T-shirt, tracing small circles onto the exposed skin. He shifted slightly so your body wasn't hanging off the edge of the bed pulling you closer to him. Draco let out a heavy sigh, feeling a dread wash over him thinking of his family.

"I haven't really thought about when to go back. I think I'll just wait until my mother calls me. But if you have other things to do, then I'm more than willing to leave tomorrow morning-"

"Draco, calm down." Giggling into his chest, lifting up your head to look down at the blonde whose face had flushed lightly, "I'm not kicking you out. I was only asking so I could figure out when to beg for you to stay even longer..." You confessed a light blush on your cheeks. Draco felt his heart melt at your words, playfully pouting his lips to which you leaned down to press an awaiting kiss to them. He responded almost instantly his heart clenching at your sweet touch, his hands tightening around your frame tugging you even closer.

"You know... this reminds me of the time when you tried to tell me you had a crush on me. But then you just ended up telling me you liked George,"

"Oh fuck off," You felt your face heat up, nuzzling into his chest as he let out a deep chuckle.

"I don't even know why I said that! I didn't like him in any way and then I go and confess to my crush that I like another guy,"

"Kind of hurt," He teased, scratching your scalp lightly as you let out a small whine smacking his chest. Draco chuckled as you peered up at him from your position on him.

"You arse, you knew I didn't like Weasley. Why didn't you say something?"

Draco laughed, shaking his head at your words, "I think it was more fun to see you struggling. But on a serious note, I was honestly heart broken when you said that. It took me a solid 30 to realize what you meant to say before I could get over it."

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in."

After a couple seconds of you guys giggling, Draco began tugging at the collar of his shirt a soft sigh leaving his lips.

"Aren't you warm? I'm never usually one to get overheated but when I'm around you I promise you it gets 20 degrees hotter," The blonde shifted, forcing you to lift yourself off of his body so he could sit up. His hands found the hem of his shirt tugging it off of his sticky body, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of your boyfriends toned torso. Draco noticed the look of awe spread across your features, a pout forming on his lips making a gesture with his hands to pull you close. "C'mere..."

You snapped out of your little daze, climbing into his embrace letting the blonde hold you tightly as you made yourself comfortable.

Draco was never one for physical contact, but with you he could never get enough of it.

Whenever you guys were apart, he would feel lost and was practically counting the minutes until he could have you in his arms again. Even if it was the smallest gesture like holding your hand, or seeing that gorgeous smile of yours he felt grounded and as if nothing could ever get to him.

"I don't think I've ever told you how much you mean to me, love." He whispered, adjusting his grip on you feeling his warm breath in the crook of your neck.

“Ever since our 2nd Year, all I ever thought about was you. When I was sitting behind you in Potions, all I ever thought about was how easily I could just reach over and just say hi to you. But I didn't. If it weren't for Blaise, I don't think I would have ever gotten the courage to say anything to you... you have been an absolute blessing to my life. I wish I could have had the chance to choose you over becoming a Death Eater, because I would choose you over and over again."

"Draco...it's not your fault-"

"Yes. It is. I-I fucked up. Blaise told me each and every single day about how heartbroken I left you, and I wanted nothing more than to march my arse over to your dorm room and just comfort you. But I couldn't. I had to pretend that our relationship didn't matter. And when it came to fighting against the Dark Lord or standing by your side, I chose what I knew was right. I went with my heart. I went with you. " At this point, Draco had tears streaming down his face looking down at you with red cheeks. You cupped his face, brushing away any stray tears hushing the sobbing boy quietly.

"Mal... I don't blame you for anything. I know that deep down you would have done anything in your power if it weren't for You-Know-Who. I still loved you... I still do. You were being used, and who am I to criticise or blame you for things you had no control over."

"Fuck," He choked out, pulling you onto his lap with your legs on either side of him as he took in a shaky breath. "I love you so damn much..."

You let out a small smile, leaning down to press a kiss to his salty lips. "I love you too, Draco. I always will."

"You promise?" Your heart physically shattered at the tone of his voice, letting the blonde rest his head against your chest running your fingers through his feather soft hair. He let out a soft sigh, melting into your comforting touch.

"I promise. You're going to have to burn down every single bloody thing I care about before I even consider leaving you... and even then I still wouldn't leave."

"Not even for your dog?"

"...which one?"

"Khloe,"

"Woah there buddy. Now you're pushing it," He let out a giggle, making you smile widely at his actions rocking him side to side as you let out a happy sigh.

You spent the rest of your week like that, laying in each others arms.

Draco was finally catching up on all that sleep he had spent stressing over about, the slightest ghost of a smile permanently etched onto his face as he held on tightly to you.

He couldn't remember the last time he had ever been as happy as he was with you.

Doing simple things like going grocery shopping, watching muggle movies.

Draco was currently laying in bed with you and your 2 dogs watching you have casual conversations with them as if they could understand you, an ever growing smile on his face.

You peered up at him, flashing him a wide smile that never ending twinkle in your big doe eyes making his heart soar.

At that moment he knew... he just knew you were the one.

After days of asking for a sign, begging for the universe to let him know that was he was feeling wasn't just his imagination, he finally got it.

We'll be alright... We'll be alright after all.

a/n: i listened to fine line by harry styles while writing this, and i was highkey wanting to cry towards the end. i hope you enjoyed this! i am so sorry about the wait, but if you have any criticism please don’t be afraid to let me know. i had a lot of fun writing this! lots of love :))

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More Posts from Welcometothemaraudersspam

Masterlist

。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚

hey yall! my name is denisse and i love writing! i tend to write for a bunch of different stuff (i don’t think i have it all written on this list) but send any requests you would like <3

and if you need anyone to talk to i’m always here for you as well. thank you pookies

。•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚

★- requested

❁ - smut or mentions of smut

Harry Potter

⊹ Draco Malfoy ⊹

Draco Malfoy and his Rose Pt.1 Pt.2 ❁ Pt.3

Sapphire

Rumor Has It

A Long Time Coming

The Girl with the Golden Eyes

The Dinner ★

The Forsaken Tie ★

We’ll Be Alright ★

Jinx Me, Why Don't You? ★

A Sky Full of Stars ★

⊹ Ron Weasley ⊹

Absolutely Whipped ★

Blaise Zabini

Late Night Snack ★

⊹ Remus Lupin ⊹

Remus Lupin

When Worlds Collide ★

Little Things ★

⊹ Marauders ⊹

Late Night Shenanigans

Time Turner Pt. 1 Pt. 2

⊹ Tom Riddle ⊹

The Light to His Darkness ★

—————————— ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ——————————

Attack On Titan

⊹ Levi Ackerman ⊹

Chance- you and eren are similar, in the sense that nobody will stop you from making sure every titan is dead. at least that was the case. until a pair of boys came into your life. everyone is 18+ for the sake of the story Part 1 Part 2

Part 3

⊹ Erwin Smith ⊹

Cinnamon, Chamomile and Cedar- erwin has never felt like this before. he has never had someone made him feel like he was back in his youth, messing about with a girl of his age. she made him feel rejuvenated. but he wasn't the only one that had their eyes on her.

Part 1 ❁

Part 2 ❁

Part 3

⊹ Eren Yeager ⊹

(not published yet)

——————————— ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ——————————

Merlin

⊹ Merlin ⊹

For Merlin’s Sake Pt.1 Pt. 2

Star Wars

⊹ Anakin ⊹

(not published yet)

⊹ Obi-Wan ⊹

(not published yet)

Criminal Minds

⊹ Spencer Reid ⊹

Intoxicated p.1 p.2

⊹ Aaron Hotchner ⊹

Intoxicated p.1


Tags :

Requests!

I have so much time on my hands so just hit me with a crap ton of requests. I’m usually very leniant with requests, and the people you request for. All the names on here aren’t all of the people I write for, there may be some names I accidentally left out. 🤍

Anything marked with a ★ means that those characters or fandom will take longer to write for! :)

If they’re labeled with a ☆ it means that these characters or fandoms are what are easiest for me to write (but don’t be afraid to pick anything outside of those!) 🤍

Harry Potter ☆

Harry Potter ☆

Ron Weasley ☆

Hermione Granger

The Weasley Twins ☆

Draco Malfoy ☆

Seamus Finnigan ★

Dean Thomas ★

Cedric Diggory

Blaise Zabini

Theodore Nott

Neville Longbottom ☆

Fleur Delacore

Viktor Krum

James Potter

Remus Lupin ☆

Sirius Black

Peter Pettigrew

Severus Snape

Regulus Black

Tom Riddle

Fantastic Beast and Where To Find Them

Newt Scamander ☆

Tina Goldstein

Queenie Goldstein

Credence Barebone

Jacob Kowalski ★

Gallert Grindelwald ★

Theseus Scamander

Merlin ★

Merlin ☆

Arthur Pendragon

Morgana Pendragon ☆

Guinevere ☆

Gwaine ☆

Mordred

Lancelot ☆

Percival

Leon

One Direction

Harry Styles ☆

Liam Payne

Louis Tomlinson

Niall Horan

Zayn Malik

Charmed ★

Piper Halliwell

Phoebe Halliwell

Paige Matthews

Leo Wyatt

Chris Halliwell ☆

Wyatt Halliwell

Cole Turner

Darryl Morris ★

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland) ☆

Thor Odinson ☆

Loki Laufeyson ☆

Natasha Romanoff

Clint Barton

Nebula

Starlord

Bruce Banner

Stephen Strange ☆

Gamora ☆

Pepper Potts ★

Valkyrie ★

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Aang

Sokka ☆

Katara

Zuko ☆

Jet

Attack on Titan

Eren

Armin

Mikasa

Jean

Connie

Sasha

Levi

Erwin

Reiner

Hanji


Tags :

Absolutely Whipped | Ron Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1,987 words

Warnings: cursing

Requested: Can you do a Ron x Reader? Backstory doesn’t really matter but I feel like it be preferred if they were best friends before hand which I know is basic and generic but it’s cuuteee 🥺 @medioocremar

January 2nd, 1994. The Gryffindor Common Room. 8:54 am.

The sound of Ron angrily yelling out curse words at his fellow peers caught your attention, trying to make your way over to the red head, attempting to cover your reddening cheeks with your hand as you watched the furious red head snap his head to look at you at the sound of a gasp leaving your lips. Harry rests his arm on your shoulder, chuckling at the ginger who had just thrown a book at George. His twin brothers had slipped a drop of one of their test prank potions into his mouth while he was asleep, resulting in the bright pink hair covering his freckled face.

“Oh my...”

“I don’t think I am ever going to let him live this down,” Harry chuckled into your ear, following Weasley’s figure with his jade eyes letting out a content sigh as he saw him storm upstairs to the boys dormitories. He motioned at you to follow him, which you did gladly silently opening the door to their room letting out a yelp as you were met with Ron grabbing you rather hotly.

“Drop me right this instant, Billius-”

“Ron, let go of your little munchkin” The red head blushed as Harry exposed one of the many nicknames he called you, dropping your short frame onto the ground leaving your body crumpled on the floor leaving you to send daggers at him from your position on the floor. Harry rolled his eyes at his best friends actions, motioning towards the girl on the floor realization hitting the red head like a ton of bricks as he scrambled to pick you up giving you a sheepish grin. You smacked him on his shoulder, ignoring his wines as you focused your attention on the glaring color resting on his head. The 6′3 wizard plopped on the edge of his bed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Sorry... thought you were George.”

“Yeah, yeah Weasley,”

“Do you have any idea about what I am suppose to do about this?”

“I think if I beg your brothers long enough, they’ll give me the reverse potion. If you don’t want to come out of your dorm, then you don’t have to. Harry and I could bring you food throughout the day,” You offered the tall ginger a smile, which he returned opening his arms for you to walk into. Your smile widened as you wrapped your arms around his shoulder swaying them back and forth relaxing into his warm embrace.

“Awww... group hug!” The black haired wizard teased, tackling the lot of us forcing us to fall forward onto Ron’s bed knocking the wind out of you, reaching behind you smacking the bespectacled boy shoving him off of you, “Ow. Why must you be so aggressive?”

“I’ll show you aggressive-”

“Wait no! I take it back!”

The only sounds that came from the room were the sounds of you uttering profanities at Harry, and the screams of terror leaving his lips as you threw anything and everything you could get your hands on. Just before you got the chance to throw a chair at the dark haired boy, the tall ginger wrapped his arms around your waist throwing you over his shoulder like you were a satchel. You whined trying to get him to let you down, which only resulted in the snickering from the duo as he held you firmly against him. A thought came to mind, sneaking your hand down and landing a harsh slap against his bottom smirking to yourself as you felt the Gryffindor practically throw you off of him thankfully Harry caught you instinctively, a pout on his plump lips his hand rubbing on the tender skin. You felt Harrys chest rumbling as laughter raked through his body, twirling around in his arms sending daggers at the wizard.

“I wouldn’t be giggling if I were you, Potter. You’re next-”

“No! You keep your hands to yourself-”

January 7th, 1994. The Library. 3:03 pm.

You let out a frustrated groan, tugging harshly at your hair as you tried to re-read the words written in front of you. That makes no sense. I swear to you there was no porcupine quills in the Draught of Peace, you thought to yourself angrily trying to control your breathing. A fellow blonde caught sight of the frustrated tears in your eyes, pushing away any doubt choosing to help you out. He checked to make sure no one was around to see the girl close to a breakdown, including peering in between a few books, but he knew it would be highly unlikely since many people were still in their last class of the day. The Hufflepuff took a seat across from you, almost not catching your attention if it weren’t for the styled hair no other kid in the school seemed to pull off, other than the infamous Cedric Diggory.

“Oh, hey Cedric! I didn’t know you had a free period today,”

“I wasn’t supposed to, but I injured myself yesterday so they gave me today off to get me to recover faster, but knowing Madam Pomfrey she just wanted me to relax.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Well, if you’re getting a day off why are you choosing to spend it in the library? Not saying it’s a bad thing,” You questioned, scratching out another wrong list of potion ingredients cursing underneath your breath running your fingers through your messy curls. Your tired eyes looked up to lock eyes with the boy who was motioning down at your note filled parchment paper, “Oh this? I’ve been struggling in Snape’s class lately. It’s only been these past 3 or 4 classes, but it’s still infuriating,”

“I can help you, if you’d like?”

“Oh no, I couldn’t do that to you.”

“I swear, it’s not a big deal. Think of it as a favor for keeping me company on this lonely day.” You felt yourself nodding at his words, grinning at the small smile that made its way onto his pale cheeks. The next hour and a half you guys spent going over all the small mistakes you had made on your quizzes. The pair of you ended up spending up a good portion of it making silly jokes, and goofing off. In the end he happily assured you that it was nothing major. You felt a weight lift off your shoulders, leaning into your palm as he scribbled down a few tips and notes on the marked up assignment flashing you a smile. 

“You are a saint, thank you Cedric. How can I repay you? Name your price, I’ll do it.” 

“Oh it’s nothing, honestly-”

“Did I just hear... a hug? A hug, are you sure? Of course, Cedric. Anything for you,” You teased, hurriedly making your way around the table to wrap your arms around the Hufflepuff who just laughed at your antics, slithering his arms around your waist letting out a breath he had no idea he was holding in. You hastily pulled away from the warm hug, noticing a head of red hair making its way over to you giving him a wide smile.

“Hey, Ron! How was-”

“Diggory,” The red head stated his voice laced with jealousy, his nostrils slightly flared as he towered over the Hufflepuff who was currently seated setting his satchel on the library table his jaw clenched. Cedric’s smile was wiped off his face a teasing look in his eyes, choosing to brush past him making his way out of the library but not before flashing you a warm smile. You rolled your eyes at your best friend, shoving his shoulder playfully as he took the seat Cedric had previously been sitting in.

“I swear you turned green for a split second there-”

“That is not true,”

“Oh really, so that wasn’t Mr, I’m Jealous of the Handsome Triwizard Champion?.” You leaned down to meet his bright blue eyes, quirking an eyebrow at the stammering red head, “That’s what I thought,”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course. You can ask me anything”

“Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow? I-I know we usually go with ‘Mione and Harry, but I thought it could just be the two of us. What do you say?” The red head blushed profusely his words spewing out, scratching at the back of his head as he avoided eye contact with you. You felt a blush creep up your neck, tucking a stray strand of hair behind you ear.

“Is this a date, Weasley?”

“Only if you want it to be,”

“I’d love to go with you to Hogsmeade.” You whispered, feeling your breath hitch at the heat radiating off of his hand as it cupped your cheek. Leaning further into his touch nearly choking on your breath as he closed the little space between the two of you, his breath fanning over your face. You could almost swear that if your heart was 1 beat faster it would send you into cardiac arrest.

“Then it’s a date,”

January 8th, 1994. The Courtyard. 9:15 am.

You had decided to dress up a bit for your so called date, feeling rather cute in your outfit as you looked around for the tall red head your eyes scanning every face you came in contact with. A tap on your shoulders caused you to spin on your heel coming face to face with a flustered Ron, nearly awing at the way he cleaned up for you. He had a nice dress shirt tucked into a pair of jeans, a worn jacket thrown over the outfit a beanie covering his red hair. You playfully fanned yourself at the sight of him, giggling at the blush that washed over his entire face. Holy heavens above, who let this absolute angel come into my life you thought to yourself, subconsciously biting your bottom lip. That little action didn’t go unnoticed by Ron, who felt his chest tighten at the sight of your bottom lip trapped in between your teeth.

“You look really nice, Ron,”

“I look like rubbish compared to you, You look absolutely breathtaking,” He blushed, taking a tentative step forward taking your hand into his much larger one. Everything seemed to slow down at you felt like getting lost in his eyes, giving the red head a cheeky grin as he pulled you into his embrace his toned arms holding you tightly. You let your hands trail up his torso, resting on his chest pressing your body into his tall frame. You could tell this boy was going to cause some serious neck problems in the near future, considering he grew at the rate and height of a magic beanstalk.

“Are you ready to go- oh, w-what are you doing?”

“Just a little something,” You breathed out using this opportunity to grab a hold of his jacket, tugging the Gryffindor close to you feeling his breath hitch as you wrapped your arms around his neck crashing your lips against his. The second your lips touched it felt like everything else had disappeared, and it was only you and Ron in a state of bliss. The red head tightened his grip around your waist hoisting you up enough so he could properly kiss you. He deepened the kiss, letting out a satisfied sigh as you tugged at the ends of his hair.

“Oi lovebirds! Stop eating each other, let’s go,” The Weasley twins shouted unanimously at the pair, leaving the two of them flustered pulling away from each other hastily, you tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, your cheeks a bright shade of pink.

“We better go before they end up dyeing my hair next,” Ron let out a throaty laugh, which in turn made you giggle too eyeing the ginger who calmed down enough to offer your hand entwining your fingers together making your way over to your group of friends who were cat calling and whistling at the both of you. 

You thought that after years of chasing after the boy you had been crushing on since you bumped into him, after the Sorting Ceremony, finally being yours would feel special. This felt absolutely magical. The sight of the red head goofing around with his friends, that smile you loved so much spread across his face made your heart melt fiddling with the necklace strewn across your neck. Ron happened to look up from his current conversation with Harry flashing you a loving smile that twinkle in his eyes. Damn you Ronald Weasley, you have me utterly and positively whipped. 

send requests! i’m always up for writing anything, just send me a quick little inbox and i’ll make sure to write it as quickly as possible. and if you have any suggestions or criticism, feel free to make it :))


Tags :

“I’m so invested in fictional characters, it’s not healthy.”

— Me, as I go through Newt Scamander, Supernatural, and Sherlock tags on tumblr every night before going to sleep

she| aaron hotchner

word count: 1618 words

warnings: i hurt my own feelings

She| Aaron Hotchner

"she lives in daydreams with me.  she's the first one that i see and i don't know why..."

brown. 

every little detail about her was brown. 

her eyes. 

her hair. 

her skin.

everything.

until he had met her, the color brown was nothing more than the color of tree bark. 

wood.

dirt.

coffee grounds that he brewed at work. it was a muted color to him. 

nothing that really stood out to him about it. nothing special. 

until she came into his life. 

he couldn't figure out what about her made him want to talk to her and crave to be around her.

not until much later. at first glance she was nothing but ordinary.

just another girl who worked at his work place.

she was several years younger than him, and half his height.

the only thing that intrigued him about her at first was that she was the sweetest girl he had ever met.

she wasn't shy, she wasn't ever rude. not even from her first interview or her first day. 

she wore one of the biggest and most genuine smiles he had ever seen in his life. 

it didn't matter what she was doing. 

she was doing it with a soft smile. or with her teeth on full display.

that was another thing.

she was one of the few people that wasn't intimidated by his stern face.

or his tall frame.

she approached him and talked to him as if they had been friends for many years. he was surprised by how she easily made him feel comfortable. 

how he laughed around her.

the thing is- she had no clue as to what she was doing to him.

she broke down his the layers and layers of walls he had built around his heart. 

and he happily let her in. 

without even meaning to. 

they spent all of their shifts talking. 

making inside jokes. sharing cheesy grins at one another. 

for a year- up until he left.

one month.

in that one month everything changed. 

he was offered an internship in another state that he couldn't turn down. after the internship was done, he would come back to his every day job. he had promised himself he would take her out once he came back.

and he did.

he waited.

and longed for the day he could be in her presence again.

trying to convince himself he just wanted to see his friend and nothing more, that it was just because they were close friends. 

nothing more. 

no, he doesn't let people into his life like that. 

not that easily. 

'she is just another girl'

he told himself this every day up until he came back. 

"she's the first one i see"

there she was. 

laughing with her head thrown back in pure joy.

two things stood out to him at that moment. 

one.

her smile. her smile lit up the entire room. 

and secondly-

he stopped.

the young boy attached to her side. 

the boy who was the reasoning behind her laughing that hard. 

he wasn't sure why his heart skipped as it did, but he knew it had something to do with the lingering hand she had placed on the other guys arm.

why him?

he wasn't anything special. what did he have that i don't?

as the days passed, she paid no mind to him. at least not intentionally. her eyes remaining on the brunette with a smile as wide as hers. 

why...

why him?

he just wanted her to look at him that way. she was supposed to look up at him with her dazzling smile and her love stricken eyes like that. not him.

"she's the first one that i see."

several years had passed. years where all he could do was pretend. force smiles and force laughter as he watched her grow into an adult, with that boy at her side.

spencer.

that's all he was.

nothing more. nothing less.

just an idiotic boy. a boy who happened to make a move before he did.

everything he looked at- walked past, it reminded him of her. 

the smell of honey.

cinnamon.

vanilla.

coconut.

 just the definition of comfort.

that's what she smelled like. no matter what time of day.

he knew all of her favorite things. 

her obsession with anything that sparkled. 

the color purple. 

the white converse she wore til she physically couldn't anymore. 

snacking after eating.

her favorite singer. 

books. 

pens that made her font look just right. 

colors after colors.

he knew it all.

every.

damn.

thing.

he knew her inside and out.

he knew that she didn't like the sun because it caused her to get really bad migraines. 

she loved the rain. 

she loved to spend her mornings at work- writing, because she knew that if she wrote at home she would get distracted by everything else. 

whenever she's sad, she forces a smile but her eyes never leave the floor and when they do- they never make eye contact with him.

because she know if she does.

he'll know right away that something is wrong.

she's the first one that he thinks of when people ask him why he still hasn't gotten with anyone.

every girl eyes him like eye candy.

but he pays no mind.

they want him for his body. nothing more.

but not her.

her. 

her. 

her.

he wants her.

not the girl next door.

not the girl who tried getting with him while he was away. 

but her. 

he wants her dark brown hair coating his pillow as they lay there and talk. 

he wants to listen to her speak day and night about what her plans for the future are.

he wants to see her in his hoodies.

his clothes.

he wants to hear her giggle into his chest as he covers her in kisses.

he wants to steal the glasses that cover most of her face and stare into her eyes all night long.

trace every freckle.

every birthmark.

every scar to ever cover her body. 

'you don't have to be scared you're not enough'

her words echoed in his head over all the other thoughts swarming in there. it overpowered the negativity.

the endless questions.

she answered every single one of them.

'try to quiet the noises in your head,'

she always calmed down his hyperactive mind.

she knew that when he went silent he was overthinking every word he had spoken that day, being quick to jump in and reign him back in.

'what if it was us'

he didn't mean to let that slip.

it felt like hours had passed.

another minute.

and another-

'i tried..' 

he froze.

'but then you told me about how you chose someone else, about her...'

the hurt in her voice was evident. 

he didn't mean to hurt her. 

no. 

he would never. 

not her.

'i never meant to hurt you-'

'you need to open your eyes.

you need to see past the surface.

your anger hasn't let you move on.

he and i have not been together for a long time.

but due to your stubborn self, you chose not to notice...i've been in love with you since that first christmas we spent together.

and you had somehow managed to buy every single thing i had touched while shopping the day before-

i stopped chasing you because you stopped trying.

you gave me the cold shoulder.

you pushed me away.

you never saw how i always came to you first.

always you.

whenever i was in pain.

whenever i was sad.

you saw me at every point.

at my happiest.

at my saddest. 

and

you

did

nothing'

and then it clicked.

memories of her flashed in front of his eyes as if he was watching his whole life on repeat.

her lingering eyes on him. 

her laughter at every joke he made.

her smile.

the twinkle in her eye- the one reserved specifically for him.

she would turn her full focus on him whenever they spoke, something she found hard to do with how antsy she got. 

keeping her feet moving, shifting her weight every two seconds. 

signing with her hands whenever she got nervous or anxious.

but she always stayed steady around him.

like he was the one calming her down.

not the other way around.

her hands cupping his whenever his hands trembled from his anxiety. 

being quick to respond to his messages late at night.

'of course, honey'

'hon, please take a deep breath for me'

'of course i do, you're like one of the most important people in my life'

it was like he was seeing her in a new light.

she was his everything.

and he was hers...

he was the reason why they weren't together.

he remembered hearing about how her boyfriend never treated her right.

about how they were always fighting.

he had never felt more stupid.

he did this. 

he was supposed to sweep her off her feet. 

he was supposed to be the person to keep her safe, and keep that beautiful smile on her face.

she looked nothing like how he last remembered seeing her.

it was as if a filter was removed from his eyes. 

her eyes looked dull. 

her hair was tousled from overworking herself at work, not taking proper care of herself. 

her smile- gone. 

'i have loved you since i was 22- i stopped loving you the second you failed to see how your actions affect those who love you' 

he remembers texting her late at night, after spending his night drinking in his sorrow.

she spent countless nights staying up until the crack of dawn trying to reassure the crying boy.

spending his free time at the gym to avoid any sort communication. 

overworking himself to distract himself from the pain.

he took away his one source of happiness, because he had convinced himself that she would never want him.

he got rid of her.

not the other way around...

why?

why her?


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