Steve: Tony, Don't You Think It Would Do You Some Good To Stop Drinking As Much?

Steve: Tony, don't you think it would do you some good to stop drinking as much?

Tony: In your dreams, capsicle

Steve: *sigh* Could you then... I dunno... get some exercise? Do anything to counteract all these inevitable health problems?

Tony: What do you mean? I get plenty of exercise!

Steve: Crushing my will to live on a daily basis is not exercise.

THIS BLOG STANS TWO RED WITCHES

Jon: I did a bad thing.

Daenerys: Does it affect me?

Jon: No.

Daenerys: Then suffer in silence.

Greek gods as things my high-school teachers have said

Zeus: "My 'D' isn't working."

Hera: "You sound like a hippopotamus. I need you to sound like a heavy fairy."

Hades : "Church music? Hm, sounds like an angsty Adele song."

Persephone: "Fuck the patriarchy, I want to plant my flowers!"

Eros: "I love to do my jazzy Harry Potter dance!"

Poseidon: "YOU ARE KILLING THE TURTLES!"

Athena: "The cause of my death is overdose on history."

Ares: "Canon go boom or gun go pow!"

Apollo: "It was composed by Shrek or some other guy."

Bonus because I couldn't think of which one to use: "You're leg is chopped off, but it will stop bleeding soon so imma head out"

Sam: I am this close to smacking you. 🤏

Bucky: But your fingers are touching.

Sam: Exactly.

Bucky: *scared Brooklyn noises*