Incorrect Lore Olympus Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Dionysus: I need some relationship advice-
Hades, putting his hands up: Hey, just because I’m married to Persephone doesn’t mean I know how I did it
Hera: You know what rhymes with wine?
Hera: Mine.
Apollo: Sorry, I lost my cool for a second.
Hades, not looking up from his cup of coffee: You can't lose what you don't have.
Hera: So you've known Persephone for 12 hours, what have you discovered?
Hades: People fall in love with her very easily
Hera: ... an example?
Hades, holding back tears: Me
Greek gods as things my high-school teachers have said
Zeus: "My 'D' isn't working."
Hera: "You sound like a hippopotamus. I need you to sound like a heavy fairy."
Hades : "Church music? Hm, sounds like an angsty Adele song."
Persephone: "Fuck the patriarchy, I want to plant my flowers!"
Eros: "I love to do my jazzy Harry Potter dance!"
Poseidon: "YOU ARE KILLING THE TURTLES!"
Athena: "The cause of my death is overdose on history."
Ares: "Canon go boom or gun go pow!"
Apollo: "It was composed by Shrek or some other guy."
Bonus because I couldn't think of which one to use: "You're leg is chopped off, but it will stop bleeding soon so imma head out"
Hades at some point: Whoever doesn't like Persephone, your mom's a hoe!
Kronos: No man can defeat me.
Persephone: I am no man.
I agree men suck
Any man: Hey-
Artemis: Enough.
Behead them all Hebe 😈
Hera: And what do you do if a man calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner?
Hebe: Assert your newly appointed royal dominance by having him beheaded.
Hera, clapping her hands together: Perfect!
Good job Hera
Echo: Zeus is outside of your window yelling again. I think you should do something.
Hera, taking a drag of her cigarette and placing her book down: You’re right, I should...
*Hera closes the window*
Echo:
He is 😭
Hephaestus: I’ve heard some... talk about my current relationship status. I want to clarify the matter once and for all.
Hephaestus: I am taken.
Hephaestus, tearing up: ...For granted. Every day of my life
I agree Ares. It’s so hard to spell so after a while I just use speech to text 😭
Aphrodite: It’s been 15 minutes and he still hasn’t texted me back. What if he’s hurt?
Eros: Mama, just give him some time.
*Meanwhile*
Ares: *Struggling to spell gorgeous*
Id fight Zeus for fun too. Ares would also fight anyone for fun and so would I
Ares: I would fight Zeus for our love
Aphrodite: You would fight Zeus for fun, I’m not special
Hades nooo 😭😭
Hades: Sometimes, the smallest things can take up the most room in our hearts.
Persephone: They do?
Hades: You do.
Yes they will be
If anyone thinks otherwise your opinion is wrong
Zeus: What are you doing?
Hera: I’m planning a wedding.
Zeus: Whose?
Hera: Hades and Persephone’s.
Zeus: THEY’RE ENGAGED?!
Hera: They will be.
Zeus no 😭😭 Poor Hebes teacher
Random nymph at the store: Hey! Zeus, is that you?
Zeus: Er- Do I know you?
Nymph: You’re the father of one of my children!
Zeus: What?...
Zeus: Oh my gods, are you that stripper from that one night in the Underworld two years ago?
Nymph: I’m your daughter Hebe’s teacher at school.
Don’t worry I love you Hephaestus 😭❤️
Hephaestus: If I tell you that I love you, will you say it back?
Aphrodite: Of course
Hephaestus: I love you
Aphrodite: It back