Wittyrosebush - Requests Are Open!

Greek gods as things my high-school teachers have said

Zeus: "My 'D' isn't working."

Hera: "You sound like a hippopotamus. I need you to sound like a heavy fairy."

Hades : "Church music? Hm, sounds like an angsty Adele song."

Persephone: "Fuck the patriarchy, I want to plant my flowers!"

Eros: "I love to do my jazzy Harry Potter dance!"

Poseidon: "YOU ARE KILLING THE TURTLES!"

Athena: "The cause of my death is overdose on history."

Ares: "Canon go boom or gun go pow!"

Apollo: "It was composed by Shrek or some other guy."

Bonus because I couldn't think of which one to use: "You're leg is chopped off, but it will stop bleeding soon so imma head out"

Natasha: Steve, I'm cold.

Steve: I'll get you my jacket.

Bucky: Sam, I'm cold.

Sam: Come over here, I'll set you on fire.

Steve: Tony, don't you think it would do you some good to stop drinking as much?

Tony: In your dreams, capsicle

Steve: *sigh* Could you then... I dunno... get some exercise? Do anything to counteract all these inevitable health problems?

Tony: What do you mean? I get plenty of exercise!

Steve: Crushing my will to live on a daily basis is not exercise.

Steve: I'm a very private person, you need to really know me before I actually open up.

Tony: I'M HORNY AND SUICIDAL

THIS BLOG STANS TWO RED WITCHES