Blorbos - Tumblr Posts
AF 2024 attack #12: He drink
Biiiiig sip
Batholomew by @smudgyink
im being so brave posting my tav and astarion cringe
Realized I haven't posted about this guy on here or Twitter oops, so I figured I'd share! His name is Batholomew and he's a massive bat with two wing forms: full and half.
He's a silly little creature that I have yet to write extensive lore for, but I just think he's neat... :]
Would absolutely lose it if someone did, i think about them too much, we need more happy silly fun times. Might even try myself one day.
Thinking about the fact that S1 tma takes place in 2016, Tim and Sasha playing Fireboy and Watergirl together on cool math games, sometimes Martin will watch them and occasionally switches in as Watergirl when Tim gets tired of dying all the time. This continues untilJon comes in and Tim starts trying to convince him to try Roblox. Jon inevitably gets tired of Tim asking, and proceeds to get forced into making an account. He struggles making an avatar (haha) severely before joining in on Epic Mini-games and Tim makes jokes about Jon being terrible at the game, Sasha joins in on the joking and Martin makes light comments about things Jon could potentially do to improve.
The result is Jon staying up until very unreasonable hours of the night to learn all of the mini-games to beat Tims ass the next time they all play.
Silly fun-times if you will.
tma fans on tumblr please notice me hiii haiii :3
Y'all I need help
I've been in Tumblr for months and only seen the word "blorbos" like 3 times
2 of those timeS WERE TODAY
WHAT IS IT??
WHAT DOES IT WANT
HOW DO WE STOP IT
(someone plz tell me tho)
G.I. Joe Crack Fic Ideas
Be sure to credit and share a link if you use any of these. I’d love to read them!
-Cobra Commander takes up knitting and stabs someone for insulting his handiwork. (Granted, his Joe voodoo dolls are truly hideous, as are his sweaters...)
-Snake Eyes gets tired of always wearing the same mask and goes to a costume store. He freaks out random Joes with his new selections.
-Storm Shadow, missing the tastes of home, just can’t seem to find a decent Japanese restaurant. He’s never been one for cooking, but he decides to whip up a dish himself. (You decide whether this results in success or failure.)
-Zartan leaves Cobra to seriously pursue a career as a rock star. He finds out he’s actually better at girl pop, instead, and unexpectedly becomes a new sensation. (Bonus: The Dreadnoks, realizing they’ve lost their leader to legions of adoring fans, decide to put a stop to this. But one of them becomes a fan themselves.)
Cthulhu Mythos Crack Fic Ideas
-After getting his head bashed in by a ship (it’s been one of those centuries), Great Cthulhu cannot find his teddy abomination. He cannot sleep unless he has it, and cannot go looking for it in this condition. He sends his cultists on a global search.
-It’s Saturday night in the 1980′s. Nyarlathotep wants to get down and walk like an Egyptian.
-Azathoth lets out a massive fart in his sleep, and it’s heading right towards Earth. Turns out, it has properties similar to laughing gas.
Yep, guilty as charged!
Me, I am bitches
I feel like a lot of my blorbos would know exactly what to do in this situation. They’ve survived worse, and know how to perform first aid and field dress their own wounds.
But this weirdo wouldn’t even try to staunch the bleeding:
Assuming Pinhead could be shot at all (could silver bullets or blessed bullets harm a cenobite, perhaps?), he’d either stand there monologuing about sweet suffering like nothing had happened or would dig around in the wound to make the pain more exquisite. Regardless, he’d tear his assailant’s soul apart.
(Snake Eyes image from Snake Eyes: Deadgame, and I’m pretty sure Pinhead’s is from Dead by Daylight. Not sure about the source on Boba’s so if someone knows, please let me know.)
This poll was submitted to us. If you’d like to send us your own scenario (plus different ways a character might react to said scenario) so we could make a poll for you, feel free to send them to our inbox.
Godzilla and SCP-096 definitely bite.
I’m not sure about Nyarlathotep or Cthulhu, but I feel like they could if they wanted to.
This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds
Pinhead:
✅ Intellectually stimulating conversations
✅ Awesome voice/accent
✅ Cat-like, doesn’t cause too much noise
❌ Smells like death, never showers
❌ Chains and blood everywhere
❌ Constantly bringing sketchy friends over (and one keeps raiding the fridge!)
❌ Keeps people in basement
❌ No, I don’t want to open your damn box!
Zartan:
✅ Entertaining conversations
✅ Fun for parties, does great impersonations
✅ Cat person
✅ Tidy, cleans up after himself
✅ Handy with tech and general repairs
✅ Constant supply of soda and donuts
❌ Rude friends who don’t clean up after themselves
❌ Sketchy business associates
❌ Revving motorcycles at 4 in the morning
❌ Enjoys pranking me with disguises
Godzilla:
✅ No one would dream of breaking in with him around
❌ Never pays his half of rent
❌ Snores loud enough to wake up the entire city
❌ Home? What home? We don’t have one anymore!
This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds
Zartan, correcting his boss’s mistakes and averting catastrophe.
He and Destro both deserve a raise.
At least the Commander is more polite to Zartan than he is to Destro. Zartan might actually get the pay raise he deserves, providing the Dreadnoks don’t mess things up.
"Oh, sorry about that."
The abyss, hands down.
I once had a dream about seeing Azathoth. I don’t remember any details, sadly, but the feeling I had upon waking up was so transcendent that I wish I could go back.
Despite his racism and pessimism, I think Lovecraft’s entities are the best representation of the divine as a fundamentally alien and unknown force. The unknown can bring out the best or worst in us, and how we relate to and process it ultimately says more about us than the unknown/divine itself.
So yes, the unknown. The abyss. My truest love.
Look under the cut to see what meeting your entity is like. Reblog to give a gift to your patron.
The fae: a creature stands before you. Though this street was warm and crowded a few moments ago it is suddenly cold and the people around you look like shadows. The creature begins an antlered shadow with glowing white eyes, but soon its body can be seem, with white blue flesh, and sapphire eyes, and icicles for teeth. What looks like a cloak unfolds from its naked body and you can see massive white wings of a moth. As if it's an act of sacrifice you tell it your true name, a name you didn't even see before, and suddenly you belong to it, for better or worse.
The angel: a radiant entity appears before you. They're bright, like something so hot it would burn you up. But as the light fades, you can see a person in silver armor, perfect yet inhuman like am ancient green statue, their back srouting six wings with blue eyes along them, as the eyes on their head are covered by a mask of two smaller wings. The creature offers their hands and you shake it, as they fly you through the city streets and above the skyscrapers, to the stars above and dimensions beyond, to gods living and dead, across the streets of alien cities and the clouds of dead worlds. And when you return to the earth you can feel something diffrent about you, like there's light in your blood.
The scavenger: below the lights of skyscrapers beyond you, on the dark sands of the beach, you see it crawling twords you. This serpentine creature with countless legs, and a dark black shell, yet a strangely human like face. You think it'll attack or run away, but it just looks at you, egar, and for a momment you stare at eachother. It's legs pass something to eachother and then to you, it's meat but it's shining with all the colors known to the human eye, and a few more. You hold it and it happily looks at you. You take a bite and suddenly you know... you know so very much...
The vampire: she flies down to you on green wings with orange eyespots, but folds them into her back. She looks like a human for a momment, tall and strong, with a black suit over her body, but eyes the color of ruby. For a momment her mouth opens, and it's massive and monstrous, with countless moving parts and fangs. But then it folds back onto something humanoid and she gives you a playful smirk. She cuts her hand and offers you her blood, and when you drink it it tastes so sweet, and makes you feel so good. She hands you the knife and you know to do the same, and when she drinks from your palm it's life the sweetest of kisses.
The djinn: the room wirs around you. If it were not for the fans it would feel like hellfire. For a momment there it darkness, but then the screen before you glows white like smokeless flame. You can sense something inside, something beyond the code. You reach your hand within it, and there's no glass, your hand passess right through until you're in a white void of your own making. You call out, thinking there is nothing at all around you. Yet somehow something calls back, something that knows your name.
The rat king: You see him in an empty subway station. Something dark and distorted, you're not sure if he's man or animal, covered in rags, and singing in the language of the goblins and the orcs. Yet he comes close to you excited. And you can feel his song. He calls for you to come to the train tracks, and let yourself run with the rats and the roaches, where the train will pass over you when it comes, and you'll live forever. When you touch the third rail you don't die, but you'll never be human again.
The lich: the library is strangely bright. Run by skeletons in suits, decorated with gold. There are more books here then you thought were in all the world. There's knowledge here most mortals will never have the change below, all kept safe below the city. You see her, her body doesn't look human, everything has been replaced making her look more like a joining white doll then a being of flesh. Yet she is dead, you can tell that under the porcelain skin she must be dead, she is dead, and there is the tragedy of death in her eyes. You come closer to her, and she places a black rose within your hair...
The demon: You stand in his office and he stands before you, a humanoid being covered in black scales, with red eyes covering his skin. Yet none are on his head, that remains featureless save for two massive horns. Wings on his back nearly surround you. Countless souls line the walls of his office, looking at you, waiting. After you sign your name you give him yours, you can feel it come away for you forever and your eyes grey and your skin pales. But he puts the jar in a special place for you, you're spacial, he can tell there's something about you that he likes.
The mushroom lord: you walk through the darkness of the forest, the furthest from civilization you have ever been. You come upon a part where the trees all seem dead, that even the cryptids won't go near. Mushrooms fill the ground, and white vein like lines are all over the trees. You feel the need to lay down, and you let the moss and the mushrooms and the worms surround you, and let yourself sink into the soil,, and it feels good. It feels so good...
The witch: You can see them in the Cafe next to you, skinny and small, with a sweatshirt over most of their body, and dark glasses over their eyes. They seem powerful though, and though their body looks young they seem ancient, they seem beyond humanity. You talk to them and they tell you things, and secrets, lost gods, things you never knew you didn't know, both beautiful and disturbing. When it's time for them to go they pet your head, and give you their number. You don't know if you should text them, but you have to, you have to see them again, there's something about them that makes you need to know.
The living clothing: you step into it at first, it looked like a puddle yet shining like silver or chrome. But soon it surrounds you, first just your torso, but soon your head, your entire body. But it doesn't feel scary, it feels like you're being held, held by something beyond your understanding. It whispers to you, and you don't know if you should feel like your being eaten alive, or like you're being protected. You can't help but keep walking.
The abyss: the void is before you, blackness beyond blackness, like the color beyond the field of your vision, stands before your eyes. You stare at it, it's nothing yet you're entranced. It stares back...
Nah nah it’s cool cause I’m gonna pick up all of my favorite characters from every media I’ve ever liked and make them all transgender and depressed💛
sorry I took your blorbo and gave them all of my flaws cause I saw myself in them a little bit. yeah, they soaked up all my childhood trauma and fears like a sponge. no, I don't think I can undo it. I'm putting them through unimaginable horrors as we speak, yeah. they're mine now, I'm really sorry. sorry.
what if i made my blorbos in toca boca world? what then huh??
(these are the main characters of my spider-woman story from this post)
Manifesting that ill truly internalize this one day and won’t feel the need to remind myself on it sdjfldsjhfk
see i think it is 100% normal and fine and whatever to be annoyed by other people's terrible takes on your favourite lil guys like god knows i'm a hater when it comes to people being wrong having different opinions than me, but at the end of the day you do gotta remember that this is not a moral issue and simply not that deep. like yeah yeah the horrors but also this is all made up and not real and literally fine and people smashing dolls in a way you personally don't like is nothing to start throwing sand about. in fact starting to throw sand is how you lose
