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Too Much Thinking Is Bad For My Health (Part One)

Warriors was currently staring at his bowl of lovingly made chili with wide eyes. Today had not been a good brain day, not at all. Another of those days where no matter how much he loved the person making the food, or how many times he was told it wasn't going to kill him, he just couldn't bring himself to eat it.

The war had been hard. Too many assassination attempts from poison. It had made him terribly paranoid, and for good reason. Finding hemlock in your dinner wasn't a nice surprise. Funny how that was one of the only things comforting him now, was poison. Both his savior and his condemner.

Warriors had gone searching, bones showing and body shaking, for a way to make his brain quiet about the poisonings. Once the war was over, he hadn't much a need for being so paranoid. But it didn't go away, no matter how much therapy he tried or how many medications he took to make everything stop. So he'd turned to older methods. Seemingly simpler methods.

Mithridatism. The act of self-poisoning yourself in small increments to build immunity. If you're immune, you can't die, simple math. No one told him that it could become his only solace, the only thing he'd turn to. Almost an addiction. How ironic.

Warriors' hands shook, as he cradled his chili bowl. He was getting weird glances at this point, and worried ones from Time and Wind. They knew. They were aware of how messed up his brain was. They weren't aware, however, of the self-poisoning. Warriors looked back down at his bowl and attempted to pick up the spoon. No, nope, no.

He put the spoon back down and reluctantly put the bowl down altogether, pale. He tried to plaster on a smile. "I just don't think I'm very hungry right now, Wild. I'll eat something later." He said to the cook, trying to ignore how his voice shook. He got up and dusted off his pants, heading to his bedroll instead of sitting down by the fire like he usually did. Before he settled down, he pulled out his pack and ran his fingers over the very small vial in the front pocket. Hemlock, the very same thing that had nearly killed him so many times. It brought him both relief and anxiety.

"I'll take second watch, after Sky." He called quietly, and laid down, eyes still open and wide awake. He ignored the whispers, ignored the "I'll just save him something, for when he takes watch.", ignored the "Time, can you make sure he at least eats something, once you swap shifts?".

Everything faded as he attempted, in vain, to doze.

XXX

A handful of hours later, Warriors was gently shaken by a sleepy Sky. " 'S your turn, Captain. There's a good handful of fruits and a sandwich wrapped on a log for you, that Wild made. He figured you'd be hungry later." Warriors got up, pulling his sword to his back.

"Thank you, Sky. Get some sleep."

"You bet I will."

Warriors sat on the log, looking at the fruit. Two apples, an orange. A pear, some durians. He ignored all of them, and unwrapped the sandwich. He had no intention of eating it, just curious as to what it was. Maybe he could toss it out into the woods for Wolfie, if he was around. Could lie and say he ate that instead.

Lying didn't sit right. It was turkey cheese. He wrapped it up again and set it aside, staring out into the dark.

Eventually, even the dark wasn't as comforting as it had been. It was too quiet. Quiet, but Warriors could hear every snap of a twig, every leaf, every rustle, it was too quiet but it was too loud but it was- He scrambled for his pack, hands trembling. He pulled out the vial. Whether he wanted it to or not, it comforted him. He'd take it around this time every night anyway. Consistency. The vial was mostly empty, nearly ready to be replaced with another month's worth. Warriors uncorked it, shuddering as he breathed in the smell of something so deadly, something so ready to kill him yet it was the only thing keeping him alive. He looked around, making sure no one was awake; double, triple checking- then lifted the vial of poison to his lips.

"Hey, you okay?" The voice startled him, and there went the next three days down his throat. Warriors jumped, put down the vial, and looked to his side. Time was standing nearby, dressed in only an undertunic and pale pants. He didn't seem to notice the vial, so Warriors tucked it into his neckline and pretended he hadn't just taken something that could definitely kill him.

"I'm f-fine." Warriors' voice broke. Fuck.

"Clearly not. What's on your mind?"

Warriors twiddled his thumbs and sort of hunched in on himself, trying to push the poison from his mind. If he focused on it he might just go insane.

"The war, as always. I promise, it's just bad memories." Not quite a lie, not quite the truth.

"Anything I can help with?" No.

"No, it's just..."

How do you explain to your little (not so little now) brother that you poisoned yourself every night? You didn't. It was something he refused to do. He wouldn't subject Time to it.

"It's just hard, remembering. I'll be okay." Warriors tried to smile warmly, it came out as more of a grimace. Time sat down next to Warriors and took a hand, watching him with that one eye full of such wisdom, such love. "You will be okay. How about we take this watch together, hm?" He let Warriors lean on his shoulder a little.

"Alright." Just to humor him. Just to show he was fine and he'd be fine.

"I love you, brother. Get some rest if you can, okay?"

"Love you too, Sprite."

XXX

The morning was hell. What the fuck. Where was the sky? Why were people talking so loud? What time was it? His throat, he couldn't breathe, it was so hard, where was the oxygen? Where...

Warriors groaned quietly, and several people jumped.

"Warriors? Are you okay, can you hear me?" Hyrule asked quietly. Warriors barely opened his eyes, then shut them again.

"Hylia, his breathing is barely there. Shit shit shit, Legend, grab a potion, a fairy, something." Hyrule said frantically. Legend was rifling through Wars' pack and pulled free a fairy.

Wind was crying. Who would do this to his brother, who was normally so kind, so sweet, who loved them all and laughed like the father Wind didn't quite remember? Who patched his wounds no matter how small, who sewed his favorite shirt together and held him tight when he couldn't stand the memories? Soothed him to sleep and kissed his hair and spun him around in the sun with a smile? Someone who was so strong and who was there for everyone, no matter how much he was falling apart?

Wind was crying.

Time was frantic. For the first time in a while, he was frantic. None of the Links could have poisoned him, everyone was so clearly upset and everyone loved each other so dearly. No one would poison Warriors, no matter how paranoid he was of it. Who would? Who would do this to the man that took care of Time when he was just tiny little Mask, who joined him in pranks and helped raise him? Who taught him how to read and write and do math and love those around him, when he'd originally hated the world? Who taught him to see the sheer beauty in living?

Time was frantic.

Wild was terrified.

Had it been his food? Was Warriors allergic to anything he'd made? Certainly he'd have said something? Was it him, who'd done this?

Four was at war with themself, a blue voice trying to place blame and a violet voice trying to list out everything and anything about the situation and a red voice sobbing and a green voice trying to quiet them-

Sky was also crying.

Legend was crying, though he'd hide it.

Hyrule was crying.

Twilight was pacing, and- you guessed it- crying.

Warriors was dead.

Then he wasn't; the fairy had brought him back. His breath was barely there, but he was there, he was alive. Hyrule shuddered softly, hands glowing with magic. Legend was still looking around in Warriors' pack, whispering expletives and wiping tears. His hand hit the hidden pocket.

Warriors turned just enough that the vial he'd forgotten about glinted from his bedroll. Hyrule frowned and picked it up.

Legend unzipped the pocket.

Hyrule lifted the vial to try and figure out what the residue was.

Legend took one of the vials out.

Hemlock.

They locked eyes, then looked at their pale brother.

"What the FUCK." Legend snapped, taking out vial after vial of deadly poison; foxglove, hemlock, nightshade, all manners of things. "What the fuck."

"Did he poison himself?" Hyrule asked, voice shaking. Someone called out the word poison, a question, then the worried voices and cries rose.

"Looks like it. Hell, he wouldn't have gone out so slow if he'd taken a full one. Why did he take one in the first place?" Legend cradled all of the poisons in a hand and stashed them away in a small pouch. More sobbing, a thud of knees hitting the ground, gentle shushing.

Time's eyes snapped to Warriors, who was stirring. He went over to him, searching for any sign that he was still being dragged under the poison's influence. He'd be sick and sore for a while after this. Wind hiccupped and heaved for air, wailing. Reminding people he was only fourteen, was still a child, had just seen his brother die. Sky held him tighter, from their spot on the ground.

"Captain? Are you with us?" Time asked gently. Warriors opened fever-bright eyes. His hair was messy, his chest heaved weakly. His body shook and he wheezed.

"Sprite? Th' fuck happened?" He asked, voice rough.

"Poison, Warriors. You have lots of it. There was a vial in your bedroll. Did you... did you take it? You're really sick, now." The 'did you want to leave us' was unspoken, but it was there.

"Shit." Warriors whispered. He closed his eyes again, then opened them. "Yeah, I took it."

"WHY???" "WHAT THE HELL?" "SHIT." "THE FUCK, WARRIORS, ARE YOU INSANE?" "NO." "WARRIORS, WHY?" There were various shouts. Wind's crying increased, and Sky tried to calm him, making Four join them to try and help. Warriors flinched. Legend was the only one who didn't seem quite as phased. Wind fisted his hands in Sky's sailcloth and shook terribly. Sky petted his hair.

"Mithridatism." Warriors said hoarsely. He closed his eyes again. Talking was more of an effort than he'd bargained for. His head was pounding and fuzzy.

Legend filled in. "Mithridatism. It's an old war tactic, I think, that kings and nobles and such would use. Self poisoning in non-lethal amounts to try and build an immunity. Could be seen as a coping mechanism, could be seen as an addiction. Can be both." Legend's voice was quiet and somber.

Warriors kept his eyes closed, nodding mutely.

"Warriors, how long...?" Time asked. Warriors just shook his head. He was so fucking tired. He wanted a nap. Everything ached. "Wait, wait, please. We've got to talk about this. How much did you take? Was it on purpose?"" Time whispered, anxious of the answer.

"Accident. Didn't mean to take that much. Maybe three day's worth." Warriors whispered, before letting his eyes stay closed and his mind fade.

"Watch him, please." Time said to Hyrule. Hyrule only nodded, crouching down to sit near him. He then went to Wind, to take him from Sky. Sky reluctantly let go, and Wind turned to curl up against Time. "Why?" Wind asked, coughing in between sobs.

Time didn't have an answer to give him.

XXXXX

Guys now I have to make a part two what the fuck it really got away from me holy shit

@rrainydaydreams, @rebornofstars IT'S OUT AND ABOUT AND HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO MAKE A PART TWO RAA

Too Much Thinking Is Bad For My Health (Part Two)

Several hours had passed, and Wars hadn't woken. If anything, he'd gotten worse. Wind and Time refused to leave his side, Wind holding one of his hands and Time constantly checking and rechecking him over. Wind's sobs had long been quieted, but his eyes were red-rimmed and still teary.

Wars' breathing had stayed painfully shallow and he'd barely moved once. Hyrule had tried his magic, hoping to ease at least some of his brother's pain, but it hadn't touched the agony. Legend had pulled him back with a tired, remorseful expression on his face.

Four was curled up against Wild, still shaking and talking to themself. Their colors refused to be quiet. Twilight had taken to pacing, while Sky just watched with fear.

"Are ya sure 's hemlock?" Twilight asked, for the upteenth time.

"Yes, Twilight. It's hemlock." Time said quietly.

"Are you-" "Hush." Legend snapped. "We're worried enough as is, we don't need you pacing and fretting and driving us up the fucking walls. Sit down."

Twilight wrung his wrists and frowned deeply, before sitting down near Sky. He seemed ready to leap up at any given second, but at least he was sitting.

There was no known antidote for hemlock. At all. Even the tiniest amounts were fatal. Potions didn't touch it, no amount of Hyrule's healing magic was able to help, and even the fairy that brought him back didn't treat it.

They could only hope he didn't die again. They only had three fairies amongst them all.

XXX

That hope was short lived, and before the end of the night, they were down to two fairies. It was Time who was up and pacing now, just as frantic as Twilight had been. Wind had been corralled to sleep near Four and Sky, held tight to try and keep him soothed.

"Are there any Fairy Fountains nearby?" Time asked Twilight, voice wavering and cracking in the middle. He was grasping at straws, trying to find some sort of way to keep his brother alive and make him better.

He refused to lose Warriors.

"Not that I can recall. But we can always go lookin'. There ain't many that I can actually think of."

"Fuck." Time whispered under his breath, crouching to run his hand over Warriors' forehead, feeling the still-climbing fever. They really shouldn't move him. He was frail enough as it were.

"Do you have a map, by any chance?" Time's voice was even quieter, now that he was closer to Warriors.

"No. Usually didn't need one, anyhow. If we weren't so far from Ordon, I'd say we take him to th' spring. But that's about a day's walk, at our normal pace, from here. It would take more time than I reckon he has."

It would. In maybe six, seven hours, Warriors had needed two fairies. He was barely hanging on. They only had two left, so maybe they had about seven hours, eight if they pushed it, to get to the spring before they were out of them. But the spring was the only chance they had.

No one in camp was really asleep. It didn't take long for Time to have them up and aware.

"Let's pack up camp. Sitting here, waiting, none of it is going to do Warriors any good. He'll only get worse. Hyrule, Wild, while camp's being broken, can you go looking for fairies? If we're going to get to Ordon in any reasonable time at all, we're going to need more than just two."

Wild and Hyrule went off into the woods, for once without the intent of play or exploring.

Time settled down near Warriors, and started packing up his brother's things. A notebook, his pens. Time folded his scarf neatly, hands trembling. How many times had he himself been wrapped in it, when he'd had one nightmare too many, or was too sick to get out of bed? No matter how bitter he was, during the war, he'd loved this scarf almost as much as the owner of it. It was a comfort, even now, as Time ran his hands over it.

Time opened Warriors' bag a little more to fit the scarf, not wanting it to get ruined. There really was no other place for it, other than someone's hands or Warriors' neck. The bag was crammed full of things, and even though there was so much, it was neat and tidy.

Time pulled out a book, hoping taking it and putting it somewhere else would make room for the scarf. He caught a glimpse of the cover.

Old and worn, this was the book that Warriors had used to teach both Wind and Time how to read and write.

Time's eyes immediately teared, and he held it with a gentle grip. Why did Wars still have this old thing? At the bottom, in Warriors' scraggly handwriting - not neat like he would for war papers - were the words "The Good Ones".

Good what, exactly? Time opened the book, seeing the simple, childish shapes and letters. He smiled, and turned to a dog-eared page.

Oh.

So this was what he meant by the good ones.

The good memories, of the war. There were pages taped over pages and scribbles and drawings. Many of them were Time's own, when he'd barely known how to hold a pencil. Some of them were Wind's, when he was older, of Wars, of Mask, of the seagulls and the flowers and the things that reminded him of family. Of home. Some of them were Warriors', of a sleeping Mask and Wind, of Proxi, of Artemis. Pages of Wind learning how to spell. Pages of Mask learning how to draw a cat that didn't look like triangles.

Time didn't realize he was crying until a tear dropped onto a lovingly laminated page. He gently wiped it, then his own eyes. He tucked the book back where it belonged, in Warriors' pack. The scarf could be held. It didn't need to get shoved in here, unorganizing things Warriors clearly had in certain places. Time got up, zipping up the pack.

Time made his way over to Wind, who was folding up his bedroll.

"Here. Can you hold onto this?" Time asked, holding out the scarf. Wind's eyes widened. "Are you sure? I- I don't-" "It won't fit in his bag, and I won't have the hands to carry it. Please."

Wind took it in shaking hands and just sort of looked at it. He hadn't lived the war yet. This version of him was still fourteen, hadn't seen everything that he and Mask could get up to. Hadn't seen Warriors two years before now, commanding an army. But he'd naturally gravitated towards Warriors. It wasn't hard to see who had won his favor first.

Wind carefully wrapped the scarf around his neck, having to do it three times more so that it didn't touch the ground. "Thank you." He said quietly.

Time had already made his way back to Warriors. It hurt to see just how thin and weak Warriors had gotten. How had Time not noticed? How did he let it get this bad?

Time carefully helped Warriors out of his bedroll, and moved him to lean against a tree. He was so out of it, he almost looked like a doll. Limp and fragile. Time packed up the bedroll quickly, then scooped Warriors up gently, like a child. Warriors' head was easily pillowed against Time's chest, and he seemed to cling to the cold, hard armor.

He held Warriors while everyone waited for Wild and Hyrule to return. It didn't take long, maybe four more minutes. Wild's face was muddy and Hyrule's hands were scraped.

"We didn't find many. They gave us a run for our rupees trying to catch them. We only got three." Hyrule's voice was slightly breathless.

Five fairies total. Maybe fifteen hours to get Wars to the spring, if his cycle of decline stayed the same. Time nodded. "You did what you could. Keep them close. Let's be off."

XXX

Warriors' cycle of decline did seem to stay consistent, even three hours later. One more fairy down. Twilight was heavily skeptical about reaching Ordon in time. Even with the brisk pace they'd set, it was hard to keep it.

There was no warning when Warriors started to seize, jolting Time out of the half-aware state he'd been in. It had been a frantic rush to get him on his side and stay near him, fairies at the ready if they were needed.

That was thirty minutes ago. Currently, they were surrounded.

Wolfos, and lots of them. Not to mention the lizalfos. Legend tossed Twilight one of his fire rods, and drew his sword. Hyrule stayed near Time, ready to heal. He'd never been a fighter. He would, if needed. But he would heal, before he fought. Time gritted his teeth.

They didn't have the time for this. Wild climbed a tree and readied his bow, and started letting ice arrows fly. Wind was fighting, Sky was fighting, Four was fighting, they were all around, getting rid of the enemies.

Time was standing there, doing nothing.

Time gently set Warriors down near Hyrule, but before he could take his hands away, Twilight put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go. Pick him back up, we can't afford to fight here. Th' others'll stay back and fight them off. We've gotta get him to th' spring." Time looked at his boys, his brothers. He didn't want to leave them to their own devices, what if they needed him? A shiver wracked Warriors' body, making Time look down. This brother needed him more than the others did.

"Alright. Let's go." Time whispered. He scooped Warriors back up, and with Twilight at his side, they bolted from the battlefield.

XXX

One fairy. They had one more left and they were several hours away from the spring. Running for so long was making Twilight wheeze, and Time had reluctantly made them take a break. Chest heaving, Time put his head in his hands and cried. They wouldn't make it to the spring in time, he just knew it. No matter how they rushed and ran, they wouldn't make it.

Time had failed.

Worst of all, he'd failed his brother. Someone who took care of him, who loved him, who taught him that all life was to be cherished. And Time couldn't even repay him the same favor. Warriors would be dead, by the next sunrise. Time would never hear his laugh, his teases, his advice, his comforting voice ever again. Time would never be able to forgive himself.

Twilight looked down at his hands. Eight hours, that's all they needed. They only had about three. They wouldn't make it. No amount of praying to Hylia to save Warriors would help. They just wouldn't make it.

Time had himself convinced of that fact, when Twilight scooped Warriors back up. He'd given up. They'd never reach the spring in time. He kept chasing his thoughts in circles, while Twilight watched him. What were they going to do? XXX

holy shit the people who reblogged this, that messaged me, that read this, holy shit. You guys are amazing! This part two is for all you guys because WOW. I didn't think it'd be received with so much enthusiasm! But guess what? I'm gonna have to make a part three >:)

@rrainydaydreams, @rebornofstars I thought you guys would like to know :)

the more i think about mcu spider-man the more i don’t like mcu spider-man

Is all yaoi written/drawn by the same two, three people?

yeah, its written by the father, the son, and the holy spirit

Please,

don't let your hurt fool you into longing,

don't let your sorrow fool you into hoping,

&

don't let the traitor fool you into trusting...

not again

I would say, unless

they change

but

do not let the desperation fool you into expecting.

Emily Yvonne, fragments of my mind

Bruh, you cannot get mad at your partner for expressing what upsets them. Even if it isn’t deep to you, it may be a serious matter to them. Genuine consideration is the key.