Cluster C Safe - Tumblr Posts

Reblog/interact if your blog is a safe space for all people struggling with their Cluster A, B, and C personality disorder regardless of whether they are high or low-functioning in their disorder.

Popping in for a sec to vent because it's 6 am n I keep having flashbacks and thoughts.

LONG RANT/VENT AHEAD!!!!

My first relationship screwed me up more than I thought, id try to confide in him about my trauma n things but he down played mine and practically said his was worse...

So without fully realizing I constantly felt the need this urge to defend my cpstd with anyone even family.

I never feel validated for what I've been through and I have been through a lot...

From the age of 16-18 I'd let anyone take advantage of me, use me I did not care about myself I still don't really but it was worse back then..

The things I let myself go through the things I'd do to myself I regret it I'm ashamed of myself for it...

I was in such a dark place and no one cared no one.

I did not protect myself from anyone I'd let guys just do whatever they wanted to me...

Now realizing the gravity of what happened to me n what I did to myself I'm glad I'm somewhat out of being that person that I was..

But it still haunts me the memories haunt me the people around me disgust me because they just let it happen no one stopped to help me to give me support or love now I have to that to myself which is incredibly hard to do..

I constantly downplay my own emotions and stuff I can't trust anyone or let anyone completely in because of all this crap weighing in on me n I think people are full of shit when they say they care about me..

Because most of the time they are no one sticks around people talk to me for a while then drop me n don't talk to me anymore.

I honestly feel validated by it like yeah leave just get away from me already I don't need you I don't need anyone.

But I crave connection only to find it then destroy it eventually.

I can't keep up with talking to people texting is hard n draining so I can tend to be a dry texter or an awkward one honestly I don't know what kind of texter I am to people but eh...

This is a long babble so I'm going to just leave this now.

YOU ARE VALID YOUR TRAUMA IS VALID DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU IT ISNT TRAUMA IS TRAUMA!!!!!!!!!

goodnight or good morning to anyone who reads this I'm going to go to try to sleep now...

Man I'm fxcked up...

I'm trying attempting to be here for someone who's hurting

N crying but it's harder than I thought.

For someone with no sympathy & empathy doing this is exhausting and extremely hard.

I can't take all the crying seriously.

I'm trying my best to not laugh a awkward laugh....