Crackhead - Tumblr Posts
This is one of the best things I have ever made 🥴😌
Is maggot a slur for gay worms?
WhO diD tHIS?!!!ðŸ˜
Right. Got it.
Dear job,
Happy New Year First. I hope you enjoyed the holiday and had the opportunity to have a pleasant get-together with your family members, Productivity, Efficiency, Research, Goals, and their lively kids Deadline and Result. And how is that awful uncle that you told me about? Stress, or Burn-Out, I don’t even remember the name, but what a pain in the ass! Have you managed not to invite him this year?
Anyway, I’m writing you this short letter just to tell you that I won’t be able to come back on Monday. My holiday was fine, really fine. Just... too short. And I have tons of things to do still:Â
- my WIP first (Work In Progress, remember? I told you about it once or twice but you might not have been listening....as usual). I’m so proud of it! it’s growing so well but it’s still so young and fragile. I just can’t leave it on its own! Who’s going to nurture and feed it? What kind of mother does that?
- My unread fics, that are piling up in my tabs. I swear it’s worse than my laundry! (which I have to do too by the way...)
- My bullet journal, that I started last year (another thing I told you about, to show you how organized and efficient I was determined to be! You should try) It’s also going well, it’s beautiful now. But the maintenance, man! I have to get organized to make and keep it, so that I can get my tasks organised then. There again, it’s so great, I just can’t drop it.
- Knitting is also something I want to do again. After a whole year without doing anything in that field, it’s a skill we don’t want to lose, do we? This is exactly what you’ve been hammering us about all year: develop and improve your skills. Well here you go!
-Cooking obviously. I mean the staff room is always embalmed in the flavours of my micro-waveable leftovers, so, yeah no surprise... Did I mention I wanted to test Korean food?
As you may have understood, this is all a question of responsibilities, and I’m ready to endorse mine, as the committed and combative person that I am (your words, not mine). I have no doubt you’ll be proud of me as you read those words and will fully support my decision to take some more time before coming back. I don’t know exactly how much but I’ll keep you posted of course.
I wish you all the luck in the world, take good care of yourself.
Yours truly
Like the one I did with Sylus, I give you MC and Rafayel switching bodies! I'll link Sylus here / Xavier / Zayne
Rafayel
"Bitch why do my titties hurt?"
"Ay! Easy with the hair!"
"Jesus Christ is this what a cramp feels like?"
"Why is your neck so stiff? Have you ever known peace?"
"Absolutely not, you're about have a forest until we switch back. That wax tried to kill me."
"Girl stop setting shit on fire!"
"Never in my life have I walked like that."
"Are you trying to jerk off or start a fire..?"
"I'm not gonna suck my own dick."
"Don't post anything else on my social media, or I'm leaving you."
"You're going to get me arrested for arson."
MC
"I'm bout to jump into the ocean and scare children with my tail."
"So remember that painting you were working on...yeah so I was practicing with your evol earlier.."
"Nah this heat shit ain't it, bend over real quick."
"Imma need you to comb my hair"
"I may have gotten carried away with the piercings, it's only one nipple."
"I almost drowned today."
"Hearing all these fish is like I'm trapped in Finding Nemo."
"I probably should've asked before, but you're not allergic to this right."
"...um so the bed caught on fire right and-"
🤠okay I'm done lmao. This shit is so fun to do. Yall have a nice night ðŸ«
jungkook: I think I know what I'm talking about, alright?
namjoon: you sure about that?
jungkook: of course. I didn't spend twelve years in kindergarten because I'm stupid!
welcome to soft hoe hours w/ Maria. ‘tis a sleeping!Brandon one shot that I finally have the opportunity to post. soo enjoy babes (if anyone even reads this).
You remember one of the first moments that you knew that he was your one and only being the late evening after you had woken up from a nap. You remember opening your eyes and blurrily seeing the navy blue and grey walls, visible by the dim-light from the grey lamp in the nightstand. You had faintly recognized the living room, it smelling like its usual sandalwood and peppermint scent, leaving the house smelling earthy, minty and fragrant. You could feel the rough, texturized surface of the black couch beneath the pad of your fingers, as well as hear the soft noise that came from the AC; it was in its usual temperature leaving the house ice cold, however, you were warm even though the black and white plait blanket was laying on the brown wooden floor. Turning your body towards the source of heat, you laid your eyes on his face.
You remember just watching him sleep, not in a creepy way, but in an admiring and awe-filled way. He had soft, messy, curly, brown hair that was spread like a halo on the black pillow he was resting on, random tendrils falling over his forehead. His usual almond-shaped dark brown eyes that curved cutely at the ends when he smiled, were closed, twitching unconsciously at times. His short, thick eyelashes that were passed to him due to his Mexican descent, rested over his cheeks. His straight, roman nose that perfectly fit his square-shaped face. His cheeks, that used to be more filled and were now were slim due to puberty and hours spent working out daily, were flushed pink due to the heat that our clothed bodies radiated to each other. His full, salmon-coloured lips were parted open, leaving two front teeth open to sight. Puffs of calm, timed breaths came out every time he exhaled, snoring softly with each inhaled air. The blue hoodie that he was wearing contrasting beautifully with his tan, smooth skin that he shaved this morning, leaving his ever-present stubble nowhere to be seen. His usual masculine and musky scent wafting into your nose, leaving you slightly light-headed. The total peace and tranquility of the moment imprinting itself into your mind, leaving it to be remembered for the rest of your life.
Yeah, he was definitely the love of my life.
Wow they really told Jake Gyllenhaal to 'be himself' in John Mulaney and The Sack Lunch Bunch huh
