Disabled Student - Tumblr Posts

Long ass post incoming:

Okay so generally speaking my university’s campus is relatively accessible on first glance and new buildings are in theory ADA compliant and they’re working on the older buildings which is more than can be said for a lot of campuses or even places in general. A lot (but not all) of the professors are respectful of accommodations and do their best to accommodate all students as best as they can however there is still a lot they could do but either don’t know they can or outright refuse to do.

However, it is still very inaccessible!

Elevators frequently break and can take days or weeks to be fixed they’re also really annoying and often hard to find because they’re not labeled very well not to mention they’re slow as fuck, ramps are slightly too steep (super hilly campus too), shuttles are available but frequently run late or are excessively full and only run to a certain time so if you need to get somewhere on our giant campus past a certain time you’re fucked, sure there’s mobility services you can access but you need to schedule pickups ahead of time so you can’t really do anything spontaneously and there’s not many of them so if you need it the same time as someone else you’re fucked, so many doors that are supposedly automatic are broken, a building may have an automatic entrance but if you need to get into a classroom or lecture hall the doors are wickedly heavy, some lecture halls have auto doors at the top of the hall but not at the bottom where someone with a wheelchair could actually get into the room, and that’s just to name some of the accommodations for physical mobility impacting disabilities.

When it comes to other disabilities the campus and specifically lectures can be inaccessible too. For example some professors refuse to use their microphones in large lecture halls because they feel their voice is “loud enough” but that makes it even harder for students who have hearing impairments or auditory processing issues, often times professors use many colors on their lecture slideshows and that can make it difficult for students with colorblind ness or students with other visual impairments or for students with visual processing problems, when COVID-19 was still deemed to be a thing worth worrying about lectures were “podcasted” or recorded in classroom or on zoom so that they could be accessed remotely but now many professors refuse to record their lectures because they cannot be bothered to just push a simple button which leaves students who can’t safely come to campus unable to access their education or students who are sick without that same access and students who even if they can make it to lecture cannot process everything in it for a whole lot of other reasons unable to access their education the ability to do this when Covid was still of public concern (1) just shows that we can still do it and honestly still should(2), additionally many lecture halls are full of distractions and noises and so much else that make them inaccessible to people with cognitive/mental disabilities and mental illnesses, and that’s not just the case lecture halls but also in dining halls and gyms and even just outside can be extremely overwhelming and overstimulating for many many people.

(1) which mind you it still should be we are still suffering as a society from a virus that is incredibly deadly and saying that it only kills those with underlying conditions and what not is ableist as fuck

(2)For example we don’t really turn in printed out copies of essays or assignments for hand grading anymore we turn them in online because that’s easier and with technology the way classes are run has changed so why hasn’t it changed with COVID??

In general I am thankful that the campus is relatively “accessible” but it still needs hella work. Sure not everyone can be accommodated completely by an institution or even by other people but there certainly are things that are very easy changes that can be made and there is stuff that we can do to accommodate ourselves and we cannot put the burden of accommodation solely on others we know ourselves the best and thus can figure out what accommodations we need from ourselves and others.

Overall the world is super inaccessible and we NEED to do better than we are doing now both abled and disabled people alike need to work together to make everything a better more accessible for as many people as possible

TL:DR

University campuses are super inaccessible to all disabilities and there is so much that needs to change and that can easily be done and it’s absurd that we aren’t doing it. Colleges and universities and professors and even students need to do better so that everyone can feel welcome and accommodated and safe to learn

Okay, so i'm studying marine biology in college so I have to take a general chemistry lab, I also have POTS. I have now learned that these do not mix well. The lab obviously has many safety measures that it needs to follow. When in the lab everyone has to wear a knee length lab coat, full length pants, long socks, latex gloves, safety goggles, and closed toed shoes. The dress code makes me over heat extremely quickly and makes my heart rate spike super high too. As a result I become very dizzy, light headed, and feel as though I am going to pass out. I'm terrified to pass out in the lab since we are at tall lab benches and we are working with chemicals that can have serious health effects. I told my professor, my TA, and the office for disabilities (OSD) on my campus but nothing has been helpful. I'm honestly scared to go back into the lab but the class is required for me to graduate. I don't know how i'm going to be able to do this class. I also have chronic pain and generalized hypermobility (working on getting an EDS diagnosis) and I use forearm crutches or smart crutches and knee braces which also make moving around the lab difficult.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to make this class easier please tell me or if anyone has any suggestions as for how to make the professor/osd understand

edit: I dropped the class because it’s just not worth the risk

Do you ever stop and let your soul bleed to accept the painful reality of your life?

I do not rest on weekends. I fight tooth and nail in my brain to complete tasks with just as much misery in the day as a weekday without classes.

I would like to wake up on the weekends, and the weekdays with just as much enthusiasm as I did when I was ten on a weekend morning, flying out of bed at 6, 7am on the dot to play video games and know that I get to rest and enjoy myself today.

The breath of relief to get a long weekend or a week or more break, knowing I just gotta get through one more week, a few more days, and I'll get a chance to catch my breath. I slowly watched as that breath of relief had to be something I actively told myself to feel, to "no difference to me".

Days off and days on are different sets of demands I bleed for and yet fail almost every time all the same. A different set of requirements I cannot complete and feel shame and guilt in my soul every waking moment.

I hate holidays because I cannot even make the everyday demands for myself, how am I to cook and buy presents and wrap presents or make presents in a timely manner that doesn't make me feel guilty or shame?

The truth, no matter how much I smile for hours a day and I'm always happy to help and be with others, even if I no longer hate myself, is that I am miserable. My life is miserable.

I fill every crack and crease and miserableness with hope and trying, trying to change and with some thought that if I just learn enough I will find the magic alchemy formula for my life and I will be more okay than I am now. I am more okay than I was before, after all. At every chance I cover it in a paint of "fun time with friends" but the paint always chips off.

Life is good and fun, and I will try for life to be like that as much as I can. But right now at least, for the moment at least, I'll allow my heart rest a moment to weep for the pervasive misery of the weight I carry.

When someone says they can't do something,

When I say I'm struggling to complete a task

Please don't say

Just try (I am)

Do it for me (oo yay more pressure and guilt and hurting our relationship)

This is really important (I know that's why I'm dieing)

Take baby steps (WHAT do you want from me?)

It needs to get done (yeah, you think I haven't noticed?)

Why haven't you done this? (Any confrontation to defend and explain my lack of actions is 👎)

Do say

Hey lovingly what's getting in the way for you doing this? (Is not on trial for my mental struggles. Someone who cares and wants to actually help me)

Would it help if I came over and helped you with the task? (Socialization makes tasks easier. Let me decide what I want your help to look like)

I know this task is hard for you so what if after we go do something fun/reward/treat (offer choice. Offer some sort of help with the actual task, reward without ability to do gain it means nothing to me)

What do you need to make this easier? (More likely to get an honest answer about what I need vs what I feel is the least inconvenient way for you to try and help me)

Not my Pathological Demand Avoidance being picky and vengeful of every well meaning yet somehow personally offensive and unhelpful attempt of others to be supportive and helpful.

Trying to treat the ADHD without treating the PDA has been a fruitless attempt my whole life so far.

I love that people want to be supportive but also evokes my rage which I hide well.

I'm sorry if it sounds picky. That's why I posted it on the internet.

PDA means the pressure and demands of everyday life are too much for me and having control or choice makes me more free of the crippling anxiety tasks and demands like showering, eating, AND going to classes invoke.

ADHD makes completing the task, starting the task, and focusing/doing the task hard. PDA makes starting tasks 150% harder with a crippling barrier of anxiety between me and the task.

it’s pretty simple

when someone can’t speak, 

you don’t say:

just try

do it for me

just speak to *me*

i won’t tell anyone

just this once

if you really care, you’ll speak

do you hate me then?

you say:

that’s okay, you don’t have to. 

roses for the people who have made me feel safe in mute-situations. 🌹🌹

if i’m not autistic but struggle significantly with mental illnesses that make it difficult to function and suspect a learning disability, do you think i would also be able to access some of these accommodations?

this would sadly be dependent on whether you have some kind of diagnosis as they do require documentation of a disability and also possibly what your schools disability office decides they can offer based on that.

i was told quite a few of my accommodations, such as extended assignments/attendance flexibility, are typically available for people with conditions that are episodic in nature (i also have ptsd along with other comorbid conditions + some chronic physical health issues). i’m not sure what accommodations would look like otherwise or what can be offered for disabilities aside from what i personally have. i obviously can’t give a straight answer but i’d say its worth a try to ask about!

in my experience you’ll usually have to meet with someone from the disability office to discuss your diagnosis, how it effects your day-to-day/where you struggle with school, and then decide which accommodations are applicable to your situation. it could be helpful to take some notes beforehand on anything you might want to bring up.

hope this helped! i wish i could give you an easier/more complete answer but they like making these things difficult :/ wishing you luck!!