Ellie Williams Fluff - Tumblr Posts

up no more

“i don’t wanna wanna be up no no more oh

i don’t wanna wanna be up up all night again.”

masterlist

a/n HI GUYS! sorry this is so short i wrote this in like 10 mins lol. ive been trying to write smth that relates to tzuyus new album but i cant, i also have 3 tests this week so ive been rory gilmore, enjoy :)

warnings not proofread

| it was 2:09 am. you woke up from a deep sleep, just tossing and turning. you were an insomniac, and these episodes happened quite often to matter what. if you went to bed early, took melatonin, you’d get this episodes about twice a week. they always annoyed you, because you would know what would happen next. you’d scroll on your phone for 2-3 hours with bursts of energy, then get a wave of sleepiness and fall back asleep, until you slept in late. you would always wake up with a migraine you couldn’t get rid of afterwards.

ellie heard you wake up by you moving around in the bed. “whats wrong baby?” she asked you in a sleepy voice.

“another episode.” you told her. “ill be fine, go back to bed.” you didn’t want to wake her up just because of you.

ellie than rubbed her eyes and say up. “come here.” she told you, patting the upper pillow.

you sat up as well, with your head on her shoulder. she wrapped one of her arms around your shoulder, while using her other hand to play with your hair and giving sweet kisses on your head. “shshsh… go back to sleep. im right here.” she whispered.

“im trying.” you told her. “try harder.” was her only response.

she then rested her face on your head, trying to attempt to help you fall back asleep. “you know why you’re up? hm?” she asked.

“i’m not sure, maybe im unconsciously anxious.” you spoken.

“there’s nothing for you to be worried about. i’m right here. i wont let anything happen to you.” she said, as it eased some of your worries.

“just close your eyes and clear your mind baby.” ellie said, continuing to play with your hair and rubbing your head.

her touch was everything you needed to slowly fall asleep. and her kisses were warmth and comfort to your body. before you knew it, your eyes got heavy and you went back to sleep.

“goodnight sweet girl.” ellie whispered to you, then falling asleep next to you, making sure to not leave your side.

hold me like this, hug me right now

no matter how hard I try, no

☆ 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚊 ☆

sub!ellie x dom!reader

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝚈𝚘𝚞, 𝙳𝚒𝚗𝚊, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚗𝚘𝚝-𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗. 𝙽𝚘𝚠, 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙳𝚒𝚗𝚊 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝙳𝚒𝚗𝚊'𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙹𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚘, 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎.

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚢 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝-𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 kind of shitty really bad 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝 that i absolutely despise but spent too long on to keep in the drafts 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚒 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝e𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 ♥︎

It's been dark for a few hours now, light pooling into your room from the flicker of a candle and the red lava lamp you stole from Dina's room.

She's gone again and the apartment feels hollow. Still, you're sat at your desk working as the regimented tick of your clock beats on in the background.

A shuffle and the click of a door capture your attention.

Ellie's here. As per usual.

You let out a strained puff of air and swivel your chair around to face the source of the thud that’s now aggressively rubbing her eyes and sitting at the foot of your bed.

“Ellie.”

“Hm?” she croaks out.

“You bored?”

“Hmmm…” She finally looks up from her palms with slightly blood-shot eyes and freckled skin splotched pink to meet your inquisitive gaze.

“Dina said she was gonna watch Back to the Future with me and then she ditched me for Jesse… So, now I’m left with you, the roommate.”

“The roommate, huh? I see how it is. What if I beat your ass? Then what?”

Your attempt to lighten the tired atmosphere lacks much spark, but Ellie’s bored enough to bite. Her green eyes are illuminated by the dim glow of the lava lamp as she waves you off dismissively and, for a split second, they’re flecked with the purest gold you’ve ever seen.

You play it totally cool, with your arm strung over the backrest of your chair nonchalantly, as though you didn’t just witness a scene that will be burnt onto your retinas and play late at night when you’re trying to sleep.

“Pfft, like you could fight anyone.”   

You scoff indignantly, mock offended, and stand up from your seat, leaving it spinning behind you.

“Uhhh, at least I got meat on my bones.”         

“Yeah! And absolutely none of it is muscle.”

“You askin’ me to unleash the beast, E-bone?”

God, you become the biggest dork around her… It's like you both morph into your thirteen year old selves, sitting on Ellie's disheveled bedroom floor after school and bickering about anything and everything until Joel yells up about dinner being done.

Times were simpler. Then, you got older and the buzz you felt each time your hands brushed, which was so easy to downplay, gradually became gaping - virtually impossible to ignore five years down the line. Once the door was open, there was no looking back.

Didn't help that Ellie only got hotter and hotter.

The thought of losing her over something like this makes your stomach writhe inside you though, so you keep the fantasizing to a minimum. Kind of.

The apples of her cheeks puff out rosy in an unrestrained grin, as she announces,

“Bring it, dude. I’d like to see you try,”

“I’m gonna rip your non-existent balls off,”

“Oh, I am just shaking with fear!”

“Fuck off, you little greaseball,”

“Pfft, please, that’s just my aesthetic appeal. You’re gonna have to try harder than that to insult me, bud.”

Your mind flurries with a million responses but the beckoning of your open laptop, begging for your attention before the fast approaching deadline, cuts through the buzz with ease.

Unfortunately, you can’t just ignore it this time. You’ve got less than twenty four hours to complete the soul-draining assignment, and you've spent the last few hours sighing periodically as you looked over the mediocre jargon you’d written so far instead of adding anything.

Great.

But it’s so tempting to forget about the essay completely and let go: focus all your attention onto doing dumb shit with Ellie like you usually do.

“Okay, I do not have time for this, I’ve got a whole ass essay due.”

Ellie sits up with an exaggerated groan, tugging you in by the arm.

“You always have something due!”

“Not always… And, yeah, Ellie! That’s college.”

“Dude. You’re either studying or working all the time and you barely leave this room.”

“Hey, I happen to think it’s pretty cozy in here.”

Ellie rolls her eyes before taking in the contents of the room, scanning the papers and lone items of stationery cluttering, no, invading your cramped desk space.

“Yeahhh… real ‘cozy’ in here. Do you ever clean?”

“Oh, big talk from someone who lives in a literal pig sty! I'm working so this doesn't count. Plus, it’s paper mess, not actual junk.”                 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. At least your bed’s comfortable…"

She turns her head to face you, watching your expression become slightly conflicted.

“Come on, dude, take a break from working for five minutes! Just five!”

You look back at her for a moment, at those eyes you desperately want to please even in the pettiest of situations, and sigh before sitting beside her.

“For the record, it won’t be ‘just five’, and you’re a bad influence on me.”

Ellie chuckles as the bed dips nearby with a soft creak.

“How am I a bad influence? I’m simply encouraging you to relax with me.”

The weird thing about your relationship is that, having been friends for so long, the bickering is intrinsically woven through every conversation you have, and it often leads to the kinds of petty arguments you're having now: the kind that you don't even remember the cause of.

“Uh, yeah?”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Suuuuuure-”

“Shut up, Ellie.”

“No.”

“You know what? Get out of my room.”

“Fine. Asshole.”

The kind of dumbass arguments that Joel would have to come in and alleviate without knowing the cause of either, because it was always something incredibly stupid anyway.

Joel's still back in Jackson though, while the two of you are miles away, and sulking's kinda pointless when there's no one around to see, so Ellie gets back up from her sprawled out position on the living room couch out of boredom and asks if she can come back in.

Same solution you used back when you were 12: you smirk deviously to yourself as you recall the memories before muttering,

“You can come in but you have to sit on the floor.”

Ellie scoffs, recognition evident in the unimpressed raise of her eyebrows. This pissed her off beyond measure back when you were kids, but now it weirdly brings on a sense of nostalgia, so she lets it slide, coming in and suppressing the small smile playing on her lips.

“Fine… Jackass.”

She lowers herself to the scratchy rug beneath your bed and leans against the wooden frame. She’s facing away like she used to too, always trying to avoid the embarrassment of having to look up at you. She still looks up over her shoulder at you with an exaggerated expression anyway though.

“Happy now?”

You look down at her and smirk.

“Very.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You're really enjoyin' this, aren't you?”

“Yep! You know, you’re still so easy to work up. Must be pretty uncomfortable down there, huh?”

“Shut up, asshole. I’m waaaaay more cozy down here. This carpet's amazing; you're missing out. I could fall asleep any second.”

Ellie's voice rasps as she rambles on, looking up at you with those big eyes that make you weak in the knees, and you can't resist the urge to just reach out and ruffle the auburn tufts of hair laying chaotically on her head, smirking as you mutter,

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

Ellie’s cheeks almost immediately flush. Her gaze begins to flicker away from you, no longer so unaware of the intricacies of holding eye contact.

She opens her mouth in shock, and then her eyebrow furrow quickly to cover up with a scoff,

“You are such a dick.”

“What? I didn't even do anything!”

“Dude, you do this every time and it pisses me off! You can cuss me out one minute and say you hate me and then be all corny the next?!”

“Okay, that was in the heat of the mo-”

“Yeah, right, 'in the heat of the moment.' You say shit like that every time we argue and you don't even apologize. At least be honest.”

Her expression looks earnest and it makes your heart contract a little tighter, the hot bite of guilt nipping at your insides. But something else stirs too.

You hate how attracted you are to her when she’s frustrated.

This room, with the warmth of body heat and candlelight intoxicating you and the red glow that casts over Ellie’s pretty face, makes the gaze she holds up at you so sweetly drowsier through the obscurant of her thick eyelashes, makes the swell of her bottom lip as she releases it from a harsh bite seem so much more enticing, makes you feel like your inhibitions are strapped to a ticking time bomb.

The pull is electrifying - more than magnetic, and you'd give anything to lay your skin onto hers, to feel each touch, so gentle, ignite your skin, and embrace her wholly. Consume doesn't even seem too strong a word.

“I don’t hate you, Ellie. Here, come sit."

You shift aside and pat the space next to you, watching intently as she huffs and rises to her feet before flopping down beside you.

Unbeknownst to her, all her movements are so much more sensuous now - you’re trying desperately to ignore the sliver of skin that showed as her shirt rode up her stomach when she got up, but it’s almost getting painful.

So much so that you have to physically drag your mind away from it.

“Anyway, have you had dinner yet?”

Ellie blinks a few times, caught in the crossover between the two completely separate conversations as she fumbles her way through a response,

“No, not yet. I was planning on ordering something later though. Why?”

“I’m starving.”

She chuckles and you feel the tense disposition of your muscles physically loosen.

“Oh, you’re hungry, huh? You want me to order food for you too, don't ya?”

“And you’ll do it because you’re the absolute coolest, most awesomest person in the whole entire world, right?”

She smiles softly, "Alright, alright, tell me something I don't know."

As your eyes meet, something in you clicks into place.

Your heart is thumping erratically in your chest. She’s so close; her hands are so near. You could lean in ever so slightly and your lips would meet.

For some reason, something in you is saying that it’s now or never, so the petrifying thoughts of any possible consequence arise again.

It’s realistic to be scared. That’s why you pushed down these feelings away for so long. But, in a moment of clarity, you realise your relationship is strong enough to withhold something like this, even if it would be devastating if Ellie didn’t feel the same way. You’ve known each other since you were children, your childhood homes are only a few houses away from each other, all your friends are friends, and even your parents are friends. There’s no escaping this.

Even if it doesn’t go as planned, you have to take the leap or you’ll never get over her.

“Thank you, Ellie... God, this is gonna take a really long time though, isn’t it?"

“Pfft, you’re such a baby. It’s gonna take like 30 minutes max, just chill.”

You smile, the thumping of your heart becoming supermassive. You can feel it filling your being and surrounding you completely. Then, you mutter,

“Maybe we can keep ourselves entertained in the meantime,”

and the seal is broken.

Ellie is perplexed. From where she sits on your bed, you’ve suddenly become a lot more tense, and your gaze bears into her much more sharply than she’s ever noticed before. But it makes her feel weird… in a good way, and her throat runs dry as she raises an eyebrow skeptically.

“And how do you plan on doing that, exactly?”

You shrug,

“Can I try something?”

“I’m kinda terrified but okay,” she chuckles

You hum, falling into a rhythm, the nervousness so intense that it numbs you.

“Lay back for a second.”

Ellie’s eyebrows draw together with a burning curiosity, feeling a heat rise in the pit of her stomach which seems to answer her unspoken questions.

She know what’s going to happen now, but it feels so surreal, it can’t be.

She shuffles back and lays into the embrace of your pillows, surrounded by the sweet scent of your perfume. She’s been dreaming of this moment as soon as she realized she saw girls differently.

How could she not? You've always been right next to her, and you were perfect in every way - you are perfect in every way. You’re smart, funny, sweet, and she thought you were beautiful as soon as she saw you for the first time, gazing at you with her jaw dropped for, most likely, a few too many seconds. Then it happened again one day when she was 16.

You’d both gone out to get ice cream and she became enraptured by the hazed look in your eyes as the liquid dripped down your chin and over the smooth skin of your hand, your soft hair, tussled by the summer breeze. Her breath caught in her throat as she scrambled to look away. She knew there was no turning back.

But most of all, you’re the one she goes to before anyone else, and it’s always been that way. You’re the only person that brings her a different kind of peace, that indica high, calmer than she feels with anybody else. You’re her girl. Always have been; always will be.

All the playful flirtation and lingering glances - she’d never imagined would really result in this.

 “What now?” she whispers, her voice coming out quieter than she intended for it to, giving her away in an instant. She clears her throat but you can't help but play into her discomfort, pleasure woven through the feeling you get when you make her needy. You already feel a buzz from the fact that she’s not pushing you away or playing you off. This was only ever a daydream in the past, but so, so much better than you'd hoped.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that; you just make sure you’re comfortable. Are you comfortable?”

She stutters through an answer, taken aback by the silkiness of your tone. God, she had dreamed about this so many times and never imagined you so like this, never imagined herself so submissive.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m comfortable… You… You aren’t fucking around, are you?”

“Fucking around? Gonna need you to be more specific, Els.”

She forces a gulp down her now dry throat, looking up at you and she mutters,

“Uh, I don’t know… Like… Like that one time you twisted my arm because you wanted to see-”

She hesitates, cutting herself off, her eyes drifting down to the curvature of your body that she’s wanted to feel for too long for just a split second.

“Can I touch you?” she splutters as soon as the thought enters her mind, overwhelmed with a sudden panic, her eyes flit up again to meet yours, flickering between each pupil in desperate search of any confirmation.

A shudder ripples through her body as your hands move closer, taking the lead before you give her the chance to. Her heart is racing.

“Can I touch you?”

She nods, almost too eagerly.

She curses internally.

You let your hand hover over her shoulder for a moment,

“Hmm, and where is it okay to touch you, Ellie?”

Ellie feels dangerously flustered. She tries to regain her composure, but it’s long gone out the window, and she’s like a handful of clay, soft and malleable, pervious under the sensational pressure of your fingertips.

“Anywhere.”

A soft smile graces your lips.

“Thirty minutes.”

You run your hand down her arm, grazing the skin gently with your nails and then down her stomach to her hip under her shirt, taking time to fully feel the gentle grooves and curves of her body for the first time.

“Is this okay, Ellie?”

She lets out a shaky breath at the feeling of your hand trailing over her skin, goosebumps rising in its wake. She swallows once more before replying, her voice unsteady.

“Yeah… Yeah, that’s fine. It feels… nice.”

“Hmm,”

Then, you place your palm on her ankle and begin to move up, ghosting your hand over her inner leg,

“I want you to tell me what feels good. Okay, Ellie?”

“Y-yeah. Sure. I can… I can do that.”

“Good. Good girl.”

You sit up and straddle her lap, and it catches Ellie off guard, suddenly feeling so much more at your mercy as you stare directly down at her, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her pink ear. Her breath hitches but she instinctively brings her hands to rest on your waist. You lean in to whisper,

“You look comfortable. Are you comfortable? I want you to feel good.”

And she tries to make sense of the fuzz in her brain to answer the influx of questions you’re asking. They’re barely keeping her grounded. Her hands move down to hold your thighs.

“Y-yeah, I’m good. You… You’re making me feel… good.”

“That’s good.”

Though you're dragging it out, teasing her because her neediness makes you wetter, eager to make her eager, you are just as needy, if not more. You're desperate to taste her, to be close to her, to feel her lips moving sensually with yours.

You place your hand over one of hers on your thigh and mutter, your words like the wisp of a feather caressing her skin,

“I’m gonna kiss you, Ellie, is that okay?

Ellie thinks she might die. The way her heart buffered in her chest once she processed your words felt too intense to not be her going into cardiac arrest. Either way, she's happy. What a way to go.

Somehow, all her feelings have culminated in this moment, in something she would never have expected, and her grip tightens to remind herself that that is really your body she’s feeling and this is really real.

She nods slowly, drowsy eyes meeting yours.

“Yeah… Yeah, yes, fuck, y-you can kiss me. Please.”

But, fuck, you just can't help teasing when she looks like she's yearning for you so sweetly that it makes your pussy flutter.

So, instead, you lean forward and kiss her forehead, listening to her labored breaths catch and watching her lips twitch in confusion when you pull back with your hands on either side of her head supporting you. You look her in the eyes and move one of them to caress the red stray hairs clinging to her face away.

“You look so beautiful."

“Th-thank you… You’re…”

It's obvious she's flustered, and it only makes you feel more high, so you pull back and kiss her cheek, mocking,

“Hm? You gonna finish that sentence, Els?”

“You’re- fuck… Y-you’re beautiful… too.”

“That’s my girl.”

You kiss the corner of her mouth and Ellie’s heart is beating hard enough for her to feel like her whole body is pounding as she squirms to lean into your touch.

“Y-your girl?”

“Yeah, Ellie.”

You lean in and finally connect lips, words blanketed by the contact.

“My girl.”

Ellie melts beneath you as you finally kiss her properly. Despite her usual nature, she finds herself completely powerless against the feelings coursing through her body. You’re completely overwhelming her senses, and you’ve never seen her like this.

She wraps her arms around your waist, and presses into the small of your back to pull you impossibly closer as she kisses you back deeply, losing herself in the moment.

You sink into her, deepening the kiss with impatience and roaming your hands along the expanse of her freckled skin while gently rutting your hips into her.  

Ellie moans against your mouth at the pressure, and you use the opening to circle her tongue with your own, making her body arch up into you.

She runs her hands along your sides, her fingers groping the fat of your ass as you grind against her. The sensations are overwhelming, arousal pooling in her underwear as her desire for more continues to grow.

“God… Please…”

You pull back, sealing your thirst with a peck on her lips.

“You’re so good for me, Ellie. You want me somewhere else?”

When she looks up at you, her eyes are clouded with desire. She can’t find the words to express herself properly, the intensity of the moment rendering her speechless, but she pushes through the fog,

“Y-yeah… I need you… more, fuck, please.”

It's blatant that your own arousal is overtaking your need to push her, so you lift her shirt up and place kisses along the soft, velvety skin of her chest, circling her pebbled nipples with your tongue. Ellie lets out a soft gasp at the warm and wet feeling, tingles erupting through her chest, and her body caves to feel the gentle pressure deepen before you get up from her lap and lift her thigh.

She watches you go with wide eyes, following you away by pushing herself up off the mattress in a subconscious attempt to remain close to you. You’re already looking back at her for permission before tugging off her sweatpants,

“You know something, Els?”

Her eyes are dark with desire and her response is hoarse.

“What… what is it?”

“I’m still really hungry.”

You push her leg up and place an anything-but- chaste kiss upon the fat of her inner thigh, watching her shudder and her eyes roll back ever so slightly in pleasure,

“Can you help me?”

Her breath hitches in her throat. She nods once, swallowing hard before replying.

“Yeah... Yeah, fuck. Just... Please,” she thrusts her hips up against you.

You run your fingers down her stomach, over the wispy auburn curls trailing down to her pussy and and over the damp fabric of her underwear, drunk off the sight of her flushed beneath you,

“Do you think you can handle that?”

Ellie's body tenses as she gasps out,

“Y-yeah, I can handle it… Fuck... You're making it really hard to think straight.”

You just smile as you drag her underwear down her legs agonizingly slowly before throwing it aside haphazardly. She watches you lower yourself in front of her pussy and it makes her throw her head back.

It's swollen and glistening, squelching quietly as she tenses above you in hungry pulses, and the exhale of a warm breath over it causes her to shiver. You chuckle.

Ellie bites her lip to muffle a moan, knowing how fucking pathetic it is that she finds it hot when you're mean, and that the breathy melody of your laugh only turned her on even more, when she didn't think that was possible.

“Please, baby…”

You run your tongue over your bottom lip and push your face in to kiss her protruding clit gently, feeling her convulse before you. She wants nothing more than for you to give her the release she craves but, before she knows it, you’re pulling away abruptly, and her throbbing pussy is left dripping again.

“Patience, okay?”

She strains out a scoff with the last shred of sanity left in her and mumbles,

“You're really testing my limits here,”

“What was that, sweetheart?”

Ellie meets your gaze with frustration, her body thrumming with need. Your teasing and the way you tower over her laying body are making her feel insane, making it difficult to get any words out. She swallows hard before replying, her voice slightly breathless.

“I said... You're testing my limits... Don’t tease me... Fuck, you’re such a dick,”

“I don’t think…”

You lean closer and run the tip of your tongue from her hole over her swollen pink clit, smearing her slick up crudely. Ellie squirms, her body taut with need.

“I don’t think I like your tone, baby, do you want me to stop? Is that what you want?”

Her eyes widen as she shifts into pleading,     

“No, no, don't stop. Please... I don't want you to stop. I'm just... Fuck... You're driving me crazy.

“I’m the one who gets to call the shots, okay, Els? I’m gonna need you to say sorry and then maybe I’ll consider giving you what you need.”

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, just... I need you so bad. Please, baby, fuck…”

Ellie feels a surge of impatience, desperate for your touch and frustrated by your insistence on making her wait. She needs you, and she'll do anything to get you to give her what she wants, but what you want is to make her writhe. You kiss her forehead,

“Good girl,”

and then you crawl back to where you desperately need to be: between her legs, and push her thighs up to her chest before burying the lower half of your face into her core without warning, your tongue flexed erotically as you slurp the slick from her pussy like you're starving, flicking your tongue erratically and eagerly.

“Oh, fuck... Just like that... Please, don't stop...”

Ellie’s moans are sweet and debaucherous, with her hands scrambling for purchase, grasping at the wrinkled sheets beneath her when you thrust your tongue into her.

Your eyes never leave her face, watching the way she sinks further into the loss of control, mouth opening wider, eyes rolling back further. You slowly sink a finger, and then another, into her drooling hole with ease, feeling her pussy flutter around you.

The hold you have on her thighs is tightening mercilessly, but you're losing yourself too, untouched and squeezing your legs together to satiate your own ache.

Quickly, intoxicated by the depraved squelching sound filling the room and the suction of her walls taking in your digits, you plunge them deeper, in and out, in and out.

“Oh, oh god... Fuck, baby, please don't stop... Fuck, I'm cumming, I’m-”

Ellie arches her back, lifting off the mattress, her body tensing up as the pleasure builds to a peak within her, faster than you had anticipated. You keep your eyes trained on her, and they meet when she looks down on you, bottom lip red and raw, tugged between her teeth, eyebrows knitted in rapture.

She's completely captivated by you, her body trembling as she teeters on the edge of climax, but the sight of your half-lidded eyes gazing up at her knocks her over the edge with intensity.

She lets out a groan and then a cry of ecstasy, her body trembling beneath you as the intense waves of pleasure wash over her. You don't let up. She gasps for air, her hands rushing to your head to simultaneously push your face into her as she thrusts her hips against you, and pull you away by the hair as the pleasure becomes too much.

Her chest heaves for a moment before reaching a pinnacle in a soft sigh and, gradually, the room floods with silence. Ellie turns her head to gaze at you hazily, eyes honeyed with affection and exhaustion, and she grins toothily,

“That was... amazing... Holy fuck… You're amazing...”

Finally, you lift yourself up and hover over her.

“Yeah?”

Ellie wraps her arms around you, pulling you against her, and the tenderness of it all makes your chest fill with a tingling warmth reserved just for Ellie.

Her body still thrums with the aftershocks of pleasure,

Yeah... Yeah, that was... incredible."     

“You’re pretty cute when you get all flustered, Els.”               

Ellie blushes at your words; you hoped to draw that out of her, and she huffs slightly in feigned annoyance, though it’s completely half-hearted.

“Shut up.”

You chuckle, but it dies out quickly as she looks down at you longingly, elaborating,

“I... don't know if it's kinda late to say this now but... I love you... I mean, obviously, I do, but as... more than just a friend. I've known for a long time, I've just been too scared of ruining things to actually tell you-”

“Pussy-” Ironic.

“Shut up - you know, that is incredibly rich coming from- fuck, forget that, it's been... building for a while now, and, if you feel the same, I wanna take you out... Maybe, next Friday? Or whatever day works for you…”

She pauses before meeting your gaze, her eyes searching yours intently as she mumbles,

“Please say something. Preferably other than ‘pussy.’”

“Ellie.”

“Yes?”

“I love you too, as more than just a friend... I would love to go out with you and thanks for letting me eat you out. That was pretty awesome."

She grins stupidly,

“You're welcome, it was pretty awesome for me too.”

“Nice.”

Ellie smiles, the furious blush unfading on her cheeks as she studies your expression.

“You're enjoying this, aren't you, you little asshole.”                                                        

“Oh, absolutely.”                       

You place a gentle kiss on her freckled cheek and pull back to see the way she grins, but then her face drops.

“Fuck, I forgot to order the food.”

Real😔

“Ellie taking care of you on your period” no we r both girls where is my fics of you and Ellie both going through the torture trying to take care of eachother because you have been together long enough that you synced 💔

hey stinks…. i swear the next chapter of beyond love will be out by saturday or sunday at the latest !!! 😣 i’ve been very preoccupied with playing alan wake recently so i haven’t made much progress but im back in the zone now 😈 🔥

𝙱𝙴𝚈𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝟶𝟹

summary: ellie and dina finally get to talk, you see her again at julia’s party

warnings: mentions of drug abuse and mental health issues, some description of injury, ellies jealous again, angst with comfort in later chapters

a/n: there’s a lana reference hidden in here if you can find it. this took so incredibly fucking long and i don’t even have an excuse (other than that this one is really long), i’m just really lazy 😬, see you next year. i hate this, not even fucking around, it feels so rushed even tho it took a month and a half to post 😶‍🌫️ it’s so long and barely any of it is about the two of them together but I SWEAR it’s so necessary for the next chapter cuz they’re literally gonna be together for the entirety of it… DONT STOP TALKING ABOUT PALESTINE

tag list: @diddiqueen, @amberputh, @fatbootymuncher (dude.), @sapphointhe21stcenturyposts, @jadelovesyou00, @ravyaryn.

series masterlist

Ellie is back in that room.

She never left.

Fluorescent lights overhead are blurred by an influx of tears as she sits by the hospital bed, scratching at and clinging to his cold and still body, sobbing like a bedlamite with blood drenching her clothes fresh carmine.

It was pouring out of him like it was desperate to escape and would not stop no matter how desperately she tried to bar the floodgate, seal the supermassive black hole with blockade of her pitiable palms.

She's felt this fear before, this helplessness, over and over. That pain is familiar.

And that glaring screech never quiets, always tormenting her, getting louder and louder as she watches Joel slip away, kicking, begging and screaming. She feels like one of those motes of dust that hover in mid-air with no limbs, no sway. It gets so loud, waves crashing against the walls of her skull like a tsunami, flushing her brain out of the night terror and jolting her heaving body upright.

She clutches her chest, grappling at the reddened skin, feeling that pain as raw and real as the day she had actually been in that fucking hospital. With a heavy head and a body scrawled with beads of sweat, she stumbles to her feet and strains to focus her mind on getting away, anywhere else, in spite of the crushing throb of blood rushing through her.

She cannot fill her lungs, each sharp and desperate intake of air feeling like gritty sand scratching her throat, and she needs to get out right now or else… or else- fuck!

She doesn’t know! But she can feel it, and it's bad- real bad. She can feel it deep in the knotted-up pit of her stomach, and it’s making her retch from nausea.

Her vision’s already blurring and the rest of the world melts away into a distorted sway of formless shapes and colors, overwhelmed by a pounding sense of terror. Holy shit, she can’t feel her face. She can’t feel her face. She needs to get out. Why are her legs suddenly so weak? She’s telling them to move but they won’t. Get out of here. She need to get to the door to outside. Fresh air. Right now.

Before she knows it, she’s stumbling out the wooden door and slumping onto the cold wooden planks of the veranda, hit with a wave of cool night air, prickling her clammy skin with goosebumps. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and never loosens the hold she has on her thumping chest, all focus placed on calming its assault, and then she feels it.

The gentle nudge of a wet snout against her hand, pulling her out of her mind. Ellie’s eyes meet the culprit sat beside her with his tongue hanging out as he pants excitedly.

She buries her hands in his matted fur. The sensation of it running through her fingers is like an anchor. It was one of the techniques they taught her at rehab, and she wheezed out a tired laugh in pride at her studiousness. Like a tidal wave, the panic ebbed, receding into the expanse of water beyond.

The scruffy shepherd dog nudged his head into her leg this time and Ellie groaned in disgust, still whispering a strained and quiet,

“Thank you, buddy.”

Head up to the sky, she counts each star her eye can capture to bring herself down, each constellation so much clearer back here than in the city, so much brighter now. Even the night air is a little crisper, filling her to the brim in a deep, stuttered sigh. As she sits there, her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out, halting when she reads the sender’s name.

Ellie stares at the screen for a while, keeping her fingers deep within the tufts of fur beside her but her frayed nerves don't spark. She shoves the phone into the front pocket of her hoodie, not bothering to type out a response. Dina knows she’s seen it.

When she finally retreats to that haunted bedroom, she doesn’t bother trying to sleep. Those motes and flecks of decayed memories still linger in your and Ellie’s old apartment days after her eventual return from the godforsaken motel. Every couple of minutes she lifts a stiff arm out to let them flutter between her calloused fingers, glowing in the honeyed light of her bedside lamp.

Sometimes, the fact that your shift ends at 4,

“This is absolutely unacceptable!”

brings you an unimaginable flurry of joy,

“And I won’t be coming here again!”

because dealing with this for an entire day would probably make you catatonic.

You do your best to keep your facial muscles flexed into an expression that comes across as even mildly concerned, because you couldn’t give a fuck less if you tried, and now you’re just counting down the seconds till this boomer asshole turns around and leaves.

God, why is he still standing here?

Eventually, he walks out with all the cadence of a nine year old, and Nathan is patting your shoulder all reassuringly as he laughs at his own joke which you completely tuned out, and now you have to force yet another fake-laugh, and holy shit, this is the worst.

You spend the rest of your shift sort-of hovering around the espresso machines, pretending to be present. When the digits on your phone hit 16:00, you huff as you undo the finicky knot at the back of your apron and hurl it onto the counter before hurrying out.

You’d deal with the mildly irritating consequences of that dramatic exit tomorrow. For now, you just needed to get home and get into bed ASAP.

The front door slams shut, shaking the walls. You’re bounding up the stairs to your bedroom, flinging the door open when you get to it, before stopping in your frenetic movements at the sight of Alexis perched on the edge of your bed, scrolling on her phone.

You forgot she didn’t work on a Saturday.

You open your mouth to speak and, before the sound escapes your windpipe, she’s enveloping you in comfort, throwing her arms around you in an attempt to rid your face of that glum countenance.

Quickly, you clamber to cling onto her too, eyes wide as they flicker around the room from over her shoulder.

But… this feels stiff – claustrophobic. Too hot, too constrictive.

Like a giant wall enclosing you, moving in closer and closer. All she's doing is making an empty room smaller.

And maybe it’s just a bad reaction because you've had a bad day, but tears are pooling in your eyes rapidly as that dull ache that accompanies your perpetual loneliness suddenly grows louder and louder.

Constantly in the back of your mind, since your family turned their backs on you, with a friend group so small that you can still barely hold onto, with Dina so close but never close enough to trust completely, and the day the love of your life left you alone.

Just can’t ignore the feeling that there’s something so intrinsically different and disagreeable about you that you’ll never beat that isolation.

Endless love to give without an outlet.

You squeeze your eyes shut over tears you refuse to cry anymore.

You never intended for this thing with Alexis to get too far. You know nothing’s going to come of it. That’s just the way it’s been since Ellie.

Ellie’s foot’s got groove, tapping against the spongy grass surrounding the park bench with a ferocity transcendent to that of Ellie’s body.

She hasn’t been to this park in a while. Almost two years, to be exact.

Fuck, she thinks she might vomit.

She can’t stop whipping her head around the place erratically, trying to evaluate the people strolling aimlessly along the path. She thinks she must look suspicious as fuck. She’s probably drawing even more attention to herself, craning her neck like that. That thought stills her.

With her hood up and the drawstrings keeping the thick fabric taut to her freckled skin, she’s desperately trying to avoid recognition. She doesn’t think she can handle conversation with a friend, let alone a jittery fan. Also, she isn’t often vain, but she’d rather not be caught looking like shit.

Especially not after all the things people said about her online during her recuperation at rehab.

“Boo.”

Ellie yelps indignantly, lunging her body away from the source of the mutter behind her. When she turns around, she’s face to face with Dina’s head thrown back into a laugh, something she hasn’t come face to face with in an ashamedly long time.

To be frank, Ellie was not prepared for anything short of quiet resentment and awkward stretches of silence between the two of them, as was Dina.

However, Dina doesn’t think she can handle that. In fact, she doesn’t think either of them can handle that.

She doesn’t think she can handle hearing Ellie’s hushed voice and seeing that coy smile after so long of being worried sick about her, while keeping the well-guarded distance they’ve built over the past months.

Ellie has suffered a lot, Dina knows that too well. And she’s going to suffer more, going to get enough of that dreaded brooding silence from others (you). So, Dina decides to lighten the weight.

Ellie huffs out a sigh, face shifting into a small hesitant smile as she gauges the strange unfolding of this whole situation, before looking away and muttering,

“What the fuck, D? You scared the shit outta me.”

Because she was ready for something different, yes, but if this is what she’s going to get, she’ll take as much of it as she can. God, she craves normalcy more than those drugs she had to go to rehab for.

But then Dina takes a seat beside her, and the wind is knocked out of Ellie, suddenly so close to everything she left behind, amalgamated in the form of the woman who was, at some point in time, one of her best friends. She takes in a sharp breath of air, looks down at her hands, and feels awful.

“I… I’m sorry for… you know, showing up out of nowhere, but I-“

She takes a deep breath and looks up, cleverly utilizing gravity to discreetly send tears back down. While she takes a moment to gather her words, she appreciates the thin, cotton whirls, curving into the azure sky, and blinks.

Ellie didn’t used to cry. She thought, for the longest time, that something was wrong with her. And something was. She's been through a lot. She drifted through life like a ghost, pushing it down and down, and further down. But a few months ago, it was like the dam burst, and now tears are ready to flow no matter when or where.

It’s getting slightly inconvenient.

“I couldn’t bring myself to text you… a- after so long. I jus-“

Dina holds a hand up, and shakes her head,

“You’re good,”

before a heavy silence blankets the park bench again.

Further up, a little kid runs across the field and trips over air and eats shit on the ground. Ellie presses her lips together. Dina presses her lips together. They both look away.

“How… How have you been?”

“…Good. Different, but good. A lot’s changed around here since you…”

Ellie winces, eyebrows knitting into grievance as the words land heavy on her mind. She knew it was coming, Dina has every right to feel what she feels but, holy shit, it still cuts through her like a blade. Ellie can’t bring herself to look at her as she stutters through another apology, her voice cracking through her scramble for the right words,

"Dina, I’m… I’m so sorry. I should never have just… left like that. I didn’t mean for it to-"

"Ellie," her voice is firm,

"you don’t have to explain yourself. What happened… yes, it hurt really fucking bad at the time, but you weren’t well... You’ve been through a lot... too much, and I’m sure you’re gonna have more than enough shit on your plate here too, but I forgave you a long time ago."

Ellie’s words catch in her throat. There is so much to say, and no way to say it, but the look on Dina’s face makes her feel comfortable just leaving it behind. It’s so difficult to muster the energy to speak, and there are no easy answers or simple explanations. They both know that.

"Anyway, enough about me. How’ve you been?"

“I… I’ve been doing a lot better – emotionally. Rehab was good. It… helped me a lot. But… I don’t know. Leaving LA was a given, it’s just… I don’t think I can face a lot of the people here. I want to try, I want to make things right, I wanna be better, but the people… they just… look at me like they hate me…

I don’t know if coming back here was the right thing to do…”

Dina stays quiet for a moment. Her heart is full, and her waterlines are flooding for the first time since she sat down.

“Fuck ‘em all. They don’t know a thing, Els. They don’t even know you.”

Her voice is small and her eyes are wide; she watches the ripple of movement through the trees lining the sidewalk at the other side of the park as wind rushes by them, before turning to Ellie with a small smile tugging at her lips and continuing, louder,

"You know, there’s a small party tonight at Julia’s place. You should come. I think it’d be good for you to get out for once, ya hobbit."

Ellie looks up at Dina from the absolutely captivating spot she’s been scratching and staring at on her jeans for the past few minutes, expression like a deer caught in headlights,

"I don’t know… There’ll be too many people there, and… you know."

Dina nods.

"I do. But it’ll be a small thing - just some friends, hanging out, talking. No pressure. You’re gonna have to face those people eventually. It’s a small town. But, who knows, you might even enjoy yourself."

Ellie tugs her bottom lip into her mouth, mulling over the suggestion.

There are a lot of reasons why she should turn in down, a lot of people she doesn’t want to run into, pushing her to retreat to her casket-like abode. And then there’s the nagging question she finds herself wanting to ask again. Will she be there? But she already knows the answer to that, and she wasn’t lying when she said she wants to make things right.

"Okay," Ellie rubs her neck, "I’ll see if I can make it."

She figures that’s a start.

Dina closes the door gently in her wake, her outward listlessness a screen concealing the frantic liveliness of her mind as she plays through her conversation with Ellie.

She hovers to the living room and tosses her cap onto the table, letting her loud hair breathe. She runs a tired hand through the loose knots intertwining its dark curls and leans against the back of the couch, where she finds you and Lexi embracing each other.

Or, Alexis is embracing you at least. Dina thinks the way you’re positioned on the couch sort of resembles an archaic painting, with her clinging onto your waist and you stretching away from her grasp. Anyway, Alexis is snoring softly, and you're lying awake, arms crossed behind your head, as you stare up at Dina, giving her a tight-lipped smile.

When Dina walked in, her head was bursting with morsels of things she needed to tell you immediately, but they fade to static in her mind with Lexi’s presence, especially after she stirs awake and rubs the sleep from her eyes.

Dina isn’t fond of Alexis, in case it wasn’t already obvious.

After an awkward exchange of reserved ‘hey’s, she movesto the kitchen to heat up some food in pensive silence, watching it rotate in the yellow, whirring glow of the microwave.

Eventually, the outsider takes her leave, and Dina flumps onto the couch beside your now sat-up form, holding two plates of food and handing you the one in her right.

“Here. Because I know for a fact your dumb ass has not eaten.”

You snicker as you scarf down a particularly large spoonful.

“Yeah, I was being held down, dude.”

She watches you in awe and bursts into laughter at the sight of you absolutely wolfing down your pasta.

“Damn, bitch.”

Once your plate is hammered down to a scattering of crumbs, the two of you ease into petty conversation. Dina tells you she’s going on a date soon, and it isn’t so petty anymore, as you sit up and lean in.

“So, you were serious about ending things with Jesse, huh?”

“I’m done with him. For good. I just… What we had was nice but it fucking felt like we were on autopilot at that point, ya know?”

You nod; she sips her beer as the conversation wanes. Then, you notice the stiffness of her expression – the wistful twitch of her lip. You know what that means.

“What?”

“What?”

“What is it? You look like you’re dying to tell me something, so go on. What is it?”

Dina sighs and looks away and your stomach sinks, because you also know what that means. Your suspicions are only confirmed when she tells you she met up with Ellie today.

“How is she?” you ask. Your chest hurts with how hard your heart thumps.

“She’s doing better, I really think she’s going to be okay…”

You nod. There’s nothing else you want from her. Being clear with yourself, your mind never quite left the last conversation, did it?

Fucking Ellie, coming back and taking over your mind so easily.

A sick part of you hopes she thinks of you even more than you think of her.

You don’t know it, but you’re right. Painfully so.

Dina’s conflicted. She hesitates, because she's not sure if you’ll react badly but she can’t help letting it slip past her lips.

“I really think you should give her-”

“What, Dina? Give her what?”

Your eyes are wide and trained on her.

She sighs. Never mind.

“Look, I invited her to Julia’s party tonight.”

And now your eyes are narrowed at her, harsh and interrogative.

“Well, she can’t stay hidden away forever! She’s gotta get out eventually, and you’re gonna have to face her again, whether you like it or not…

I know it’s hard to trust her after what she did to you, and I’m not asking you to… I’m just saying… I know that you know the state she was in when she left… But she’s not there anymore… She was our best friend at one point and, when I spoke to her today, I really felt like she was serious about what she said… I just think, for old times’ sake, maybe… just, as friends, acquaintances even… give it a chance…”

It's getting really hard to keep up the pretense of disinterest – keep pretending this doesn't go as deep as it does.

You still love Ellie. You would never deny that, even in spite of the bullshit idea that you’re over her. And you do want to see her happy, to see her smile, to see that smile again. So, if there is even a slight chance of putting things right and moving forward, you’re willing to be friends with her, with the person who broke your heart. Just friends.

“…Okay.”

Ellie shows up to the party on a wing and a prayer a little while after it gets dark out.

She’s still on the fence about whether or not she regrets it.

Julia’s moved since she last visited. Granted, it’s been a fuck of a long time, but she likes the new place. It’s charming, or whatever. Or maybe it’s just open-plan. Ellie feels like an old fart for thinking about the room being open-plan; Ellie feels like Joel.

Then she remembers that that feeling alone would have sent her into a spiral just a year ago.

Regardless, the place is glowing gold, with soft lights, and a rhythmic, drunken buzz of chatter among the cliques of people. A lot less than she'd expected. It’s also slightly reminiscent of the get-togethers Maria used to set up, drawing Ellie’s mind back to the fact that she needs to go over to Maria and Tommy’s soon.

She feels like an alien again, standing outside of it all, like the twang of a snapped guitar string during a melody.

Also, Dina was right: things are different. Very different.

In fact, with a quick scan of the room alone, Ellie can’t make out any familiar faces, save for a few, which she often sees looking at her distastefully throughout the course of the evening.

It makes her visibly retract into the table, hunching her back slightly, but she is used to the whispers.

She’s gotten a lot of them in her time.

And now she’s sure she regrets coming, because it isn’t even a little fun if you’re the only one who isn’t the least bit drunk.

She notices a buzz in the pocket of her jeans and pats the space for her phone, pulling it out to see that it’s yet another missed call from Max.

It leads her to a lookthrough of masses of texts left on delivered and blocks of unanswered calls from him in her phone history.

With a sigh, she returns it to its place in her pocket. She might as well block him at this point. He’s not gonna be hearing from her for a long time.

“Ellie!”

She flinches upright and doesn’t scour the scene for long before her eyes land on the tall Asian asshole that has seemingly appeared out of thin air beside her. She’s secretly a lot more relieved than she should be at the sight of a friend.

“I swear to God, both of you love to fuckin’ torture me.”

He guffaws while she waits for him to calm down, unimpressed.

“Wait, both of us? Who’s both of us?”

“Who d’ya think?”

“Oh, right. You finally spoke to Dina then, huh?”

Ellie nods, taking a sip of the drink sitting in her Styrofoam cup.

“I swear to God, you two are perfect for each other.”

He raises his eyebrows,

“Actually…”

“What? Again?”

That’s one thing that has remained a constant no matter how much time has passed.

“I give it, like, two weeks. You’ll be back together.”

Jesse takes a deep breath,

“I don’t know, man, I think we’re done for good this time. Already been two weeks… Why? Did she say anything?”

Ellie shakes her head and Jesse leans back against the table defeatedly before peering into her cup.

“Whatcha got there?”

That should probably rub her the wrong way, but it doesn’t.

“Water.”

They’ve drifted apart, and it’s blatant. Of course it would be. Ellie’s had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to prepare, and she’s expected this, but the conversation drifts back into that same easy flow like it used to all those months back, speckled with laughter, even some of Ellie’s own. She can’t help but feel slightly more hopeful, slightly more human.

He asks about Max and songwriting, having caught a glimpse of a text, and she considers it.

She hasn’t considered music in an almost saddening amount of time but her notebook is scrawled with half-finished poetry, so she knows it’s begging to be let out of her, and the thought elicits serenity in her. Making songs without intent to release. No purpose, no pressure. Just for herself and whoever she chooses to make privy.

She thinks she just might start.

An hour or so later, Ellie, having floated around the place, aimlessly entering conversations with Dina and Jesse, leans against a counter top beside a stumpy drink cooler.

She’s been mulling over the option of leaving for a while since Dina somehow disappeared on her trek to the restroom and Jesse took off early. She eyes the factions spotting the empty space across the floor. Somewhere near the dining table, Ellie catches sight of you, and she tenses up almost instantly.

You look good. You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, like the first time she saw you all those years ago, and she couldn’t get her eyes off you from up on the stage. No matter how warped things became towards the end, those memories will always be paradisaical.

The only difference, she considers, with a tight feeling in her chest, is the glaringly large new factor lingering around you, Alexis.

If Ellie and you were still together, if Joel was still here, if she hadn’t lost her mind, if she had gotten better sooner, or if she had never left at all, that would be her.

But it’s not.

It’s like a physical reminder, standing across the room, of the cruel consequence. Of everything she lost, what she left behind.  A reminder that the two of you were never a given, that you weren’t just going to find your way back to each other, and that maybe it’s for the best, because Ellie hadn’t seen a smile so genuine on your face for the entire month leading up to her departure as the one you’re wearing now. It stirs something within her, and it makes her take a deep breath - decide to get a refill on her water.

With her head tilted down, brows knitted like a kicked dog, she walks over to the sink, before she crosses paths with a woman. She looks to be a few years younger than Ellie, a few inches smaller too, with frizzy hair like strands of hay, grinning at her.

"Excuse me," her voice quivers with hesitant excitement and Ellie dreads what’s yet to come.

"You're Ellie Williams, right? I’m such a big fan, I saw you perform in Radio City back in New York last year! You were, like, genuinely fucking amazing! Man, I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you in the flesh!"

Ellie tries to make her smile look less like nervous, eyes briefly meeting the woman's before darting away. Her capacity for fan interactions has significantly decreased since she came back from LA, which is not good since it was already pretty fucking awful. Especially now that her mood has flat lined. Her jaw tightens as she mutters curtly,

"Yeah, that's me.”

“Oh my god, okay, um, would you mind if we took a quick photo together?"

With a hardened expression, Ellie takes a sip from her cup before responding.

"Actually, I'm just here to chill. Not really up for photos."

She immediately feels a tinge of regret as she watches the woman’s shoulders slump and her eyes dim,

"Oh, right. Of course. Sorry to bother you."

As you meander through the course of people and furniture, Ellie doesn’t bother watching the woman retreat to her place among the others. She releases a shaky exhale, drumming her fingers against the rim of her cup, her gaze fixed on a distant point before you yank the stack drink cooler open beside her.

"Ever the charmer, I see."

Her lips part to respond, but you’re so near, and she wasn’t expecting you to even come close to approaching her, so she stumbles through her words like a dumbass, mentally punching herself in the face.

“Uh- Hey… Didn’t know you were coming…”

“Well, I’m here. In the flesh.”

Ellie blushes, her voice low,

“You heard all that?”

“Yep.”

“How bad was it?”

You chuckle,

“Yeah, pretty fucking bad, dude.”

She sighs, running a hand over her face,

“I swear I didn’t mean to be an asshole, it's just… I haven’t spoken to any fans in, like, three months, and I have lost all ability to.”

“Pfft, okay, Justin Bieber. You and your hoards of fangirls.”

Ellie chuckles lightly, the dimple in her cheek deepening as she huffs out a quiet,

“Shut up…

Look… I-uh… I’m sorry for showing up like that at your place, I didn’t know you were living there… and… and, I’m sorry for how the conversation went, I just- had a lot to say, and it came out weird, and I understand if you don’t wanna see me anymore. I understand if you want me to keep my distance… If that’s what you want, I’ll do it, but what I said, I meant it… And I know it isn't really not possible to go back to how things were, but if you’re willing to give me a chance, I really would like to make things right.”

“Ellie… I’m gonna be honest with you. When you left, it was… “

You take a deep breath, shaking your head,

“I felt like my life was over. And then I kept hearing about overdoses and rehab and-

I don’t know…

I’m not gonna pretend I stopped caring about you. I never stopped… but… I don’t know… I just… I don’t fucking know if anything can go back to the way it was…

I used to feel like I’d never be able to forgive you.”

When you look back at Ellie, she takes in a sharp breath of air and her expression shifts as she looks away from you with glassy eyes.

“But… I’d like to try.”

She releases the air slowly, nodding her head as the tears pool, swiped away by steadfast hands before they cascade down her freckled cheeks. It reminds you wipe away your own.

“We have to take it slow, just try to be friends again, okay?”

She’s nodding,

“Yeah, okay…”

For the first time in way too fucking long, you feel oddly liberated. It’s like a weight has been lifted off your soul, released in the form of a heavy sigh, deep and visceral.

When you lock eyes with Ellie, you feel overrun with the desire to hug her - beyond just a hug. It’s been too long.

Perhaps it’s the nostalgia laced through the air in the moment, all the memories of late nights at the bar under dim lights, with the world shrunk to just big enough for the two of you and your honest laughter and the song changing to something you remember, and you watch a few couples start swaying in their drunken leisure.

"Hey," you look over and speak softly, your voice almost drowned out by the music.

"Hey,"

"I used to love this song."

Ellie nods, her gaze flickering towards the center of the room, where a few couples had started swaying to the slow beat and an ember of recognition glows in her dilated pupils before she chuckles softly.

"Yeah, I remember."

"Wanna dance?"

You blindside her completely, but she only lets the shock stunt her into hesitation for a brief moment before nodding,

"Yeah… I’d like that."

But, like clockwork, Alexis jogs over, weaving through people with a drunken flush across her cheeks, eyes lighting up when she spots you. You know it shouldn't disappoint you, but it does, because you can already feel Ellie tensing beside you and it takes everything in you not to groan.

"Hey, there you are!"

Her arm finds its way around your waist but the touch feels more suffocating than anything. Again.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, babe," her eyes dart between you and Ellie.

"Oh, hey, Ellie," Alexis adds,

"It's good to see you."

Ellie forces a gulp down her constricted throat with a stiffened posture. Her fingers curl into her palm before she takes hold of her left ring and pinkie in her right hand, squeezing them gently to feel something.

The easy smile she’d been wearing moments ago discreetly faded, deforming into something more guarded, uncertain, and when she speaks, her voice is quieter now. You think it's almost too quiet.

"Yeah. You too."

There's a strained silence, and it makes the air thick, too thick to breathe in comfortably, as the three of you stand awkwardly, the music a distant thrum in the background. You can feel Ellie retreating into herself. An old, familiar insecurity is creeping back into her eyes.

Clueless, Alexis leans into you,

"Wanna dance, babe?"

What if you said no? You would really, really love to say no. You already asked Ellie, after all. You look over at her.

But, before you can respond, her voice cuts in, soft but laced with something you placed a long time ago. Her smile was tight and forced.

"I’m good. You two have fun. I was planning on leaving soon anyway.”

And even through the polite wording, you can feel a pin-prick edge, a subtle distance that hadn’t been there previously. Her eyes land on you for a split second and then back at Alexis, but it was hard to miss the look in them.

"Really? Why? You should stick around for a bit longer."

“No, really, I’d rather not. I don't wanna impose.”

You clench your jaw, placed on the outskirts of the conversation again. Deja vu washes over you as you think back to the abrupt cut-off of the last one.

She turns to you,

"I'll see you soon?"

You nod.

You aren’t blind. You've lived with Ellie, spent every waking moment with her for years and years worth of time; you can tell when she's jealous.

But she knows she doesn't have the right to feel hurt..

What really plagues you is the fact that it shouldn’t make you feel this way.

When she leaves, you say nothing.

Ellie drags her feet up the wooden staircase leading to the veranda, mind clouded with thoughts, good and bad, with nothing but the shrill cry cicadas and of the oak beneath the weight of her shoes to punctuate the night.

When she reaches the top step, a familiar shepherd dog leaps at her torso, barking enthusiastically with his tail wagging and his tongue out. It knocks the wind out of her, and she grabs onto the rail.

“Woah. Hey, Buddy!”

She chuckles down at him.

The name just stuck. And, she supposes that, since she named him, she’s stuck with him for good too. It’s not like anyone will be looking for him anyway; he’s a stray she’s been feeding since she got back, with matted fur speckled in dirt and a slightly more skeletal structure than most. Ellie doesn’t like to acknowledge fact that he sometimes reminds her of herself.

When he barks up at her, she scratches him behind the ear and watches him contort into her touch like it’s crack or something.

And then, he somehow manages to get inside when she opens the door, paws smacking against the laminate floors as he scuttles across them. Ellie appreciates company a lot more these days.

She collapses onto that fucking king-sized bed as soon as she reaches it and runs a hand through her scruffy auburn hair.

Her fingers run through a lot longer than they used to. She needs a haircut.

You used to cut her hair for her. She’d sit in her underwear, shivering on a stool in the bathroom with a towel over shoulders that she’d hold tight like a cap, and you’d laugh at her as you sifted through her locks for ones that looked too long, blowing the cuttings from her bangs off the bridge of her freckled nose,

The last time she was due for a cut, she did it herself. Craned her neck over a bin and swiped the cut hair off her shoulders before looking at the choppy shit-show sitting on her head in the mirror.

Maybe she’ll just go to a hairdresser this time around.

She sighs and looks around the room. This was the only one in the house still full of things, because you’d left all of her possessions neatly arranged around it. Leaned against the foot of the bed is a painting she’d started a little after Joel passed, unfinished. A thin layer of dust sits upon the cotton and acrylic surface of the canvas, blurring the image of your face.

There are a few of that sort scattered around the room. Ellie turns onto her side and lets the tears run quietly. No pounding heart or hyperventilating. Just crying.

It’s bittersweet but, after tonight, she feels a flicker of hope, a dangerous thing for someone with her past.

She’s grateful for the door you opened to her, grateful for anything you give her at all, because she’ll take it gladly, and make things right, piece by piece, slowly, regardless of how long it takes.

It’s the only way she can keep going, because she’s tired of the way things have been. She’s tired of running.

At this point, you’re about ten minutes away from Julia’s place. You left, still not uttering a word. You left, without telling Alexis, and trailed down the sidewalk, paved with streetlights ushering you on, with a hazy mind but a set goal.

When your journey ends, you’re at the pebble beach that you and Ellie used to come to together.

Because you want to remember what it felt like.

Because you want to feel Ellie.

Smooth stones roll off each other as you walk to the shore, causing a series of mini avalanches with each step you take.

You stand before the shoreline, watching the foam blockade rush up to your feet and then back again. Down the center of the water, there’s a ribbon of moonlight, luminescent ripples glinting in the water, a thousand diamonds.

You sigh, and pull out your phone, tapping Alexis’ number.

It’s probably time.

okay but imagine ellie and you trying to come up with some cute names for your baby together. jesse managed to find some old book for parents to be one day when he and his patrol partner stumbled across an old bookstore, and of course he made sure to bring it back and give it to ellie the first chance he got.

the book contains an entire chapter dedicated to name suggestions, and it even has the meaning written right next to them. you’ve been saying every name out loud, rolling them on your tongue, trying to find a name that just feels right.

ellie giggles and tries to find one she likes as well, but it’s not easy. there are a lot of cool, cute, charming, really every type of name, but none of them are the name. maybe your expectations are a little bit too high, maybe you just pick a name you kinda like and it grows on you.

as you flip over the last page of the chapter, ellie sees your eyes light up. “hey, i really like this for a girl…” you nudge her and point at one of the last names on the list.

“it’s real cute, but we need a name that works on a boy too. yknow, just in case” ellie picks up your hand in hers and starts pressing pecks all over your fingers. she has this feeling, like she just knows that it’s going to be a boy. maria, you and jesse are team girl though, but both ellie and tommy are betting on a boy.

“don’t we already have a boy name?” your smile is bright and there’s something in your eyes that ellie can’t read, and her expression must have the confusion written all over it cause you’re quick to add; “joel, of course”

BABY JOEL 😭 i know ellie had tears in her eyes ♡

i just can’t imagine any other name for the new addition to the williams household

and when the kid grows up (because obviously her intuition was right, it is a boy) she’ll tell him all about who’s he’s named after, grandpa joel, and how he always took care of family-ellie, tommy, sarah. ellie will tell stories that joel told her, and she’ll share all her favourite memories from when he was still alive.

i also feel like it would help ellie a lot on grieving and moving on, by sharing stories and keeping his memory alive when talking to baby joel. she realises she doesn’t have to feel guilty by continuing to live her own life and she’s reminded that moving on doesn’t mean joel will be forgotten.

near dying ellie and reader holding hands and enjoying the last moments of life together 💔

when ellie hears you cough weakly and she sees you clutching your chest, she knows it’s over. even though her throat felt itchy and her eyes kept watering, she had been set on getting you out of here.

but there’s no use.

the fire had completely trapped you at this point. the building was on the verge of collapsing in on itself, and all exits had been blocked off. ellie was stubborn though, kept on looking around her to see if there would be some kind of opening.

you on the other hand. you’re just sitting on the middle of the room, and she can tell you’ve given up. earlier you had tried to call her name, trying to catch her attention, but now you’re just sitting there. completely quiet except for the occasional cough.

and when ellie looks at you, she knows. she knows you’ve accepted the fact there’s no way out of here. you’re both going to die here tonight.

she crawls to you, exhausted from trying to get you out of here and breathing in the smoke for so long. you just open your arms and wait for her to reach you. when you finally have your arms around her, ellie deflates in your hold.

she lets the tears fall and ignore her nose running. she lets you cough into her hair and she holds you. she says nothing, just breathing heavily.

“ellie, i love you. you know that right? that i love you?” you’re whispering it into her hair, using the last of your strength to grip onto her even tighter. ellie just lets out a loud sob.

“i’ve always loved you and always will. in this life and whatever comes next, okay?” you’re using your hand to slowly stroke over her back, and ellie hears something falling down and the fire suddenly feels closer. warmer.

“love you, jus’ wanna have more time with you” ellie’s words make the tears roll down your cheeks. she can’t see them, but she can feel you shake.

as the room continues getting warmer and warmer, and the dizziness takes over you, ellie starts slipping away as well. and even though she would have sold her soul to get a few years more with you, she can’t help but be glad you at least got to be together.

something else falls down from the roof above you, and the last thing ellie ever says is a hushed “i love you”

what style do you think modern abby dina and ellie would have? ♡♡♡♡

i honestly think ellie would have the same style that she has in tlou2. flannels and a little bit of a grandpa style (thinking about her rocking joel’s jacket) kind off… sunky core y’know. always uses converse no matter the season, has a pair of black headphones she takes with her everywhere with a bunch of stickers on. she wears a lot of rings and bracelets, and she has a signature necklace with joel’s old guitar pick. i think she’d like green a lot, and her room would be be filled with plants and those plastic plant vines you can hang on your wall/from your roof. nerdy posters all over her walls, with planets and dinosaurs and nerd stuff. starts getting patchwork tattoos as she gets older, many of them designed by herself, a few professional and a few stick’n’pokes.

as for dina i headcanon her as someone who would be enrolled in a billion different dance classes so she uses clothes that she can dance in, and that looks good dancing in. i think dina wears a lot of darker shades of red, and that she likes to wear long flowy skirts. i also see dina with a lot of piercings in her ears. she can keep earrings in while dancing, and they’re more comfortable to dance with than the most necklaces and bracelets. also think she’d like floral patterns and stuff on her clothes. also think dina would keep her hair down more often, and every once in a while she’d show up with some crazy coloured highlights in her hair. hot pink, blue, hell she even tried green once. in general she likes colours and don’t like dressing too plain.

abby is a total gym rat. mostly wears vintage/plain t-shirts that show of her biceps, likes to wear cargo pants or sweatpants. when it’s warm abby wears knee length gym shorts or jorts. abby always has her airpods in wherever she goes. mostly wear her hair in a braid or ponytail cause it’s easier when playing sports or working out. has a varsity jacket (obviously she plays whatever sport the university she goes to is the best at, volleyball, basketball, american football, football.) abby is a nike girl everyday of the week, and strictly wears airforce ones when she isn’t in the gym or on the (insert sport here)’s field. rarely wears jewellery because she would have to take them out all the time for her sport, but does have one earring on each ear . i can see her with very simple gold studs that her dad got her years ago. will walk around with her girlfriends scrunchie on the wrist at all times

word count: 3.6k warnings: 18+, no use of y/n, pwp, established relationship, boobies, bottom!ellie, sub!ellie, oral, fingering, ellie’s purple strap makes an entrance, multiple orgasms, ellie baby crying:( summary: ellie has spent years building a wall around herself, trying to make sure no one can ever get close enough to hurt her. one night, everything becomes too much and her walls come crumbling down. luckily, ellie has you to take care of her. or, ellie’s girl takes care of her like she deserves.

When the door opens, you recognise the sounds of Ellies footsteps immediately.

She’s finally back from patrol, and you can’t wait till she sees how nice you tidied up the home while she was gone.

Something catches your attention as she shuffles around in the hallway. Her footsteps seem much heavier than usual, sounds like she’s dragging her feet on the floor. Maybe something happened on patrol, something that tired her out. She probably needs to rest, and what feels better after a long day of hard work then a freshly made bed?

You hear her dropping her bag to the ground, calling out a strained; “I’m home!” If it hadn’t been for her heavy footsteps, the sound of her voice would have been a telltale sign that something wasn’t right. It sounds like she’s close to tears, and your Ellie doesn’t cry. At least not with people around, she doesn’t even cry in front of you.

Putting away the clothes you’d been folding, you’re on your way out of the bedroom and into the narrow hallway. You almost run straight into Ellie when she appears in the doorway with slumped shoulders and her face turned down to the floor. Reaching out for her shoulders, softly shaking them to get her to look up. To look at you.

Ellie’s stubborn, everyone knows that. So she keeps her eyes trained on the floor and says nothing. The room is quiet, and the only sound that can be heard is Ellie’s heavy breathing. The contrast between you is clear, Ellie is still in her clothes from patrol while you’re wearing a clean pair of clothes you changed into this morning. She’s dirty and bruised, and you’re clean.

Your first instinct is to reach for her face and convince her to come with you to the bathroom. Try to bribe her with the promise of a warm bath and cleaning her up. She must be exhausted from patrol, that must be why she seems so off.

It’s not until you move your hands to her cheeks that you notice it. She’s crying.

Feeling her tear stained skin underneath your palms makes your movements stutter. This is completely new territory for you, because Ellie never lets herself cry in front of you.

It’s the way she whimpers your name that gets your attention, brings you back to her. Before you know it, she’s collapsing against you and sobbing loudly. After that, your body moves on autopilot, you get her to the bed and slowly sit down with her on the edge. She’s gripping onto your hand so hard it’s almost painful, but you can’t bother to care about the discomfort. All you can focus on is Ellie.

You just hold her and stroke your hands over her back, letting her get it all out. As her sobbing calms down and she seems to be able to finally breathe, you press a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Wanna talk about it?” Your question has her looking up, into your eyes. Red shot eyes, quivering lips and flushed cheeks. Ellie looks pretty when she cries. “I just…” interrupted by another sob, you hug her tighter into your side.

“Just… saw something on patrol and I just don’t want to lose you.” You don’t press on her what she saw, knowing that patrol gets rough. There’s a growing suspicion inside of you that this isn’t just about whatever happened today. Probably something that’s been building up inside of Ellie for a very, very long time. Way before Joel and Jesse died, maybe even before Riley died all those years in the arcade.

She whispers your name, and you see another tear roll down her cheek. She’s trying to calm herself down, resting one of her hands above her heart. She’s trying to take a deep breath in, but she’s shaky. Eventually, Ellie manages to get out a few more words without breaking once.

“I’m so fucking tired of losing the people I love.” The way she looks into your eyes as she says it makes your heart ache, and you reach out to move a piece of her hair out of her face.

“You’re not going to lose me” is all you can get yourself to say, almost stuttering in your movements as you lean forward and rest your forehead against hers. “What can I do for you?” You whisper it like a plea, searching for an answer in her eyes.

“Kiss me. Please…”

Ellie’s lips are chapped, but that doesn’t matter to you. It never has. It doesn’t matter because it’s overshadowed by how it feels inside of you when her lips meet yours. The way warmth spreads through your chest, the way your heart just becomes full off her.

The kiss is short lived, just giving her a small peck to comfort her. To show that you’re here, really here, with her. The way Ellie chases your lips as you lean back takes you back by surprise, not realising she wanted more. Sitting still, your eyes still on her lips and not moving your eyes until you hear her voice again.

“More…”

And it’s enough to have you press your lips onto hers once again, bringing up your hands to hold her face in your palms.

You can’t bring yourself to care that Ellie is making the newly changed sheets all dirty with her outdoor clothes. It doesn’t really matter anyways, they can always be washed again.

The only thing that matters right now is your girl, laying underneath you. She’s breathing heavily, and under different circumstances you might have teased her for it. Getting so worked up just ‘cause you’re kissing. This isn’t the time for any teasing though, because she’s laying in front of you completely vulnerable. Just waiting for you to touch her, so she can feel you. Feel that you’re here, that you’re not going anywhere.

Standing up at the edge of the bed, beckoning for Ellie to sit upwards with your fingers. Without even questioning what you want, she does it. You can see the want in her eyes as she looks at you, but there’s also something else there. Trust. Ellie trusts you to take care of her right now, and what kind of girlfriend would you be if you didn’t make sure to take care of her right now?

“Take your shirt off, let me see you.” The words make it sound like a demand, but the softness of your voice lets Ellie know it isn’t an order in any way. It’s more of a plea, a plea for her to let you see her.

The dirty sweater is thrown on the floor somewhere, and the sight of her topless makes you breathless. When Ellie sees the desire look in your eyes, the way you lick your lips as you lean forward to leave kisses all over her chest, it’s enough to make her eyes roll back.

It’s healing. The way you look at her, that is. Not just the way you’re looking at her at times like this, when she’s getting her clothes off of her for you, but at other times too. It’s hard to for Ellie to put her finger on, but you just always look at her so lovingly.

When you take her hardened nipple in your mouth, Ellie’s thought are interrupted by her own moan. You’re messy, using your tongue and getting your spit all over her tit. Using one of your hands to play with the neglected nipple, and Ellie’s breathy moans in the background sounds like music to your ears.

It’s not until Ellie attempts to grind down on the knee you’ve slotted in between her legs that you pull away. She’s quick to sit up, leaning on her elbows. You see the way she scrunches her eyebrows and her lips form a small pout, she’s clearly frustrated- frustrated that you pulled away

“Why’d you stop?”

“Shhh… just relax, let me take care of you…” Fumbling with the zipper on her jeans while Ellie tries her best to help you pull them down. It’s not easy getting the material off her legs, and you struggle for a good minute before finally managing to remove them. Dropping her pants on the floor behind you, you shift your focus to the only piece of clothing Ellie has left on her body.

The cotton panties she’s wearing are black and plain, Ellie shudders as she sees the way your eyes are stuck on her lower body and how you lick your lips. You make her scoot up so there’s more room for you on the bed, and you leave a trail of kisses as you descend down. Starting off by rubbing two fingers on the outside of her panties, making her wetter. All Ellie can do is let out a pleased sigh, dragging her hand over her face.

Her cheeks are flushed from desire, and when you start pulling down her panties Ellie turns giddy for what’s to come.

There’s nothing she loves more than having you between her thighs, she knows you can stay there for hours and you’re always so good at making her feel good. This is exactly what she needs right now, something to distract her from that fucking… that thing that happened during patrol and for her to feel you close. To have you close, feel your skin on hers, hear your praises in her ear. This is exactly what Ellie needs.

Slowly slipping a finger inside of her, you let out a moan at how wet she is.

“This all for me?”

“Yea- yeah, just for you. Always just for you” Ellie’s breathless from the way you’re using your finger inside of her, and she knows it won’t be long till you slip another finger inside of her. She’s probably already wet enough, but you always make sure to drag it out. Work her up until she can’t handle it anymore, till she’s pleading for you to just give her one more finger.

“Please?” You don’t know if it’s the way Ellie asks so nicely, or the way she’s whispering your name, but you give in. Pulling your finger out, only to slip two in instead, it’s now Ellie’s time to moan out loud.

You have been together with her long enough to know her body, know what she likes and know what gets her off. The way you slowly move your fingers inside of her, the way you press your palm against the front of her crotch and the way your palm keeps on grazing her clit.

The room is quiet except for the sound of you fingering her, and it’s filthy. There’s a thin layer of sweat on her body, and she feels like she’s absolutely soaking the sheets. She’s just about to start begging, begging you to speed up your pace and get her where she needs to be, but you’re slipping out your fingers and pressing your mouth against her pussy.

It’s even filthier than the sounds from a few seconds ago, the way you use your tongue on her. You’re basically making out with her folds, pressing your nose against her bundle of nerves.

Ellie’s grabbing your hair now, pushing your face further into her. Normally you’d pull away, scold her for being too eager and kindly remind her who’s actually in charge, but this time you allow her to use you. She’s trying to move her hips upwards, grinding against your face.

You’re using your tongue to fuck her, and Ellie’s using you like her own personal toy. You would rather die before you’d ever admit how wet she’s making you, how badly you want to slip your own hand inside your pants and get some relief. Ellie’s eagerness, the way she’s just using you, is almost enough to make you cum in your own pants. Your girlfriend is fucking hot.

You slip your hands underneath her ass, using your grip to push her even closer to your mouth. Making out with her cunt, the slick of her having spread all over your chin at this point.

When you hear Ellie babbling, you take it as a signal to slip one of your arms away from underneath her and move your hand to her thigh.

Slowly moving upwards and moving your lips to her clit, slipping two fingers inside of her with ease and sucking on her swollen clit.

“Oh, fuck yes.” You can’t see it, but Ellie is curling her toes, she’s so, so close. Just a little bit more. Her back is arching up from the bed, and she’s practically chanting your name. “Right there, oh, I’m so close” her words only spur you on, make you move your fingers faster. Pressing them up against the spongey spot inside of her, she lets out one last cry of your name before she comes undone.

Slowly pulling away, leaving kisses on her upper thighs as Ellie tries to catch her breath. You force yourself away from her skin, sitting up in between her legs. Ellie’s spent, but the way you run your thumb over your lips and bring your tongue out to lick it off has her clenching around nothing.

“Ready for some more?”

She only gives you a shy smile in response, and reaches her arms towards you as you move on top of her. Grabbing your hips and waiting for you to unbutton your pants and pull your underwear down so she can have you sit on her face, Ellie becomes shocked when you just shake your head and let out a tsk-sound.

“Not that” is all you say before you lean over her and reach your hand to pull at the drawer in the nightstand next to you. With a confused look on her face, Ellie can’t help but ask. “But you haven’t- I mean, I wanna make you feel good too…”

Just giving her a small smirk at her words, before you pull out the toy that’s been laying hidden in the drawer. Sitting up on your knees and pulling your pants down hastily before opening the buttons on your blouse, throwing the clothes somewhere on the floor along with Ellie’s disregarded clothes from earlier.

Reaching behind you to unclasp your bra, your girlfriend lets out a sound from underneath you. She’s trying to sit up so she can wrap her lips around your nipples, hard from the cold air and the lust pumping through your veins.

All you do is softly push her shoulders so she lays back, and Ellie is way too putty in your hands to try to fight back. Instead, she waits patiently as you get the purple strap on.

Your soft hands grab her ankles and you move her legs so you’re laying in a mating position. Ellie can feel the cold plastic against her folds, and she’s just waiting for you to give her what she wants. What she needs. She doesn’t expect you to suddenly move one of your hands to her face, and stroke your thumb over her cheek.

“You know I’m not going away anytime soon, right?” It warms her heart, the combination of your body against her and the soft spoken words is enough to comfort the part of her that’s still upset about what she and Jesse saw earlier.

“Yeah, I know.” Ellie’s hand now reaches for your cheek, looking into your eyes with a soft expression. “Just need to be reminded sometimes.”

You press a quick kiss to her lips before you lean back and grasp the head of the purple dildo, guiding to her entrance.

“Okay, I’ll keep reminding you then. That I’m your girl and I ain’t going nowhere.”

When you push inside of her, Ellie’s eyes roll to the back of her head. She can’t bring herself to care that she hasn’t made you cum, can’t bring herself to care if she’s being selfish. Not when you’re filling her up like this, when you’re leaving kisses all over her neck.

“You okay?” It’s whispered against her neck, you’re now completely still, letting her get used to the toy inside of her. She was already stretched out from your fingers, and wet enough to avoid discomfort. All she does is nods enthusiastically, moving her legs around your hips.

“Yes, just- just fuck me. Please”

It’s all you need, pulling out until nothing but the tip is left inside of her and slamming back in. Working up a quick pace, trying to alternate between thrusting into her and grinding against her, giving her clit some more stimulation.

The room fills with Ellie’s moans once again, but she’s not the only source of the filthy sounds now. As you move your hips against her, the toy pushes back on your clit. Feeling it graze against you over and over as Ellie drags her nails down your back makes you feel so fucking good. You try to tell her, but the pleasure makes it all come out in a broken sentence.

“Oh, you feel so-“ interrupting yourself by moaning, you close your eyes hard and try once again, “so fucking good, love having you like this, filled with my cock.” Ellie just lets out a high pitched moan at your words, and she can’t get herself to feel embarrassed. Not when you're pushing the purple strap on into her over and over again, not when you’re so pussydrunk on top of her.

“You look so good, Ellie, I just wanna do this… do this forever” you’re breathless, and she can feel her high approaching again. All she needs is a little something to get her there. As if you can read her thoughts, you use the hand that you had used to hold her face in your palm earlier and start rubbing on her clit.

She comes with a cry off your name, and you wish you could actually feel the way she spasmed around the toy. Instead, you content yourself with looking at her face when she orgasms. The way Ellie scrunches up her brows, and how her pretty lips shape an ‘o’ in a silent scream. You thrust into her as she comes down from it, and don’t stop until she pushes against your shoulder to let you know she’s too sensitive.

Pulling out and removing the straps from around your hips, you slowly get out of bed and reach for one of the clothing items thrown on the floor. Quickly buttoning your blouse, you head towards the bathroom. Ellie wants to ask you to stay with her, but she’s too exhausted to form a sentence. Her brain feels like mush, and all she can think about is how sticky the inside of her thighs still feel. It makes her think about how you looked like licking her juices off your lips, and she clenches against nothing once again.

Strutting out of the bathroom, a small towel in hand. You’re wiping her legs clean, and stroking over the side of her stomach with your hand. The atmosphere feels different now, and the air feels lighter. Ellie can actually properly breathe, unlike when she first fell into your embrace when she got home.

“Wanna talk about it?”

There’s a beat of silence, because she’s unsure. Doesn’t know if she wants to talk about it, doesn’t know if she can. Looking into your eyes and meeting the look of love, concern in them is enough to give her the courage to speak up.

“There was this… tree. And someone had carved in two names, and added ‘was here’ underneath them.” She takes a deep breath once again, and you reach for her hand to squeeze it. Remind her you’re still right here, right here with her.

“A little bit further down we found the remains of some cordycep, it had been… shot or something. I think it was a little girl.”

You’re quiet, waiting for her to tell you the entire story. She’s breathing slowly, and you can tell by the way her hands start trembling. Reaching for the cover,

“There was a man there, he was dead too. The gun was in his hand.” She gulps, and squeezes your hand hard. Even though her strength is enough to make it hurt a little bit, you don’t pull away. You stay perfectly still and wait patiently. Let her take a deep breath once again, let her try to calm down before speaking up once again.

“Think it was their names on the tree, and it just reminded me…” Even if Ellie had left it at that, you think you know what she’s getting at, who the supposed daughter and father pair reminded her off. “Well, me and Joel. They made me think about me and Joel.”

She looks into your eyes, her own filled with tears. She sits up and pulls you against her. Ellie’s being vulnerable with you, outside of sex, and it’s rare. She’s letting her walls fall down, right here in front of you. This doesn’t usually happen, it probably hasn’t ever happened before at all. But it’s like you already know what to do. Moving on autopilot, you just wrap your arms around her and let her pour her heart out.

She mumbles the last part against the skin of your neck, and then she leans back to give you a small peck. “Everyone’s gone, except you. And I can’t lose you. Ever.”

“Oh, Ellie.” She just leans against you, pulling the cover around the two of you. She doesn’t expect you to say anything more, not until you open your mouth again. “I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

With just a quiet whisper, you manage to make her entire being warm. The black hole inside of her heart is slowly becoming smaller and smaller, and it’s all thanks to you.

thinking about being ellie’s best friend and her being hopelessly in love with you. it’s painfully obvious to everyone around her, the way she looks at you, the way her body leans into yours subconsciously whenever you’re near. ellie is smitten, and she has been for quite a while. such a shame she can’t muster up the courage to tell you. she’s learnt to deal with it all though.

there are many instances when ellie’s feelings go from being manageable to overbearing, but they’re always over quickly so she just tries to suck it up and move on. she tries to suck it up and push the eruption of butterflies in her stomach to the back of her mind, tries to push the feeling of tingles spreading through her body, tries to push the warm and fuzzy way her chest starts feeling to the back of her mind.

some days it’s easy, some days it’s harder than others. today is one of those days, one of those days ellie struggles to remember that you’re her best friend and that she has to hold herself back from leaning forward and kissing you. i yeah, it’s one of those days today.

you’re having a private haul for ellie, showing her your newly bought dresses and bikinis for the summer. you’re pretending to be a runway model, doing a dramatic and sassy walk up and down the small space in your bedroom as if you were really a model showing of some fancy designer’s new clothing line. you’re trying to be funny, stopping when you get close to ellie who’s sitting on the edge of your bed and doing a slow 180-turn to show of the back.

ellie’s not focused on your attempt at being funny though, no, she’s more focused on your skimpy dresses and even skimpier bikinis. she can’t rip her eyes off your body, and she’s scared that you’ll hear the loud sound of her heart beating hard against her chest, or that you’ll hear how loud she’s breathing. if you do, the secret is out, you’ll know. you’ll know that ellie has the hots for you. you’ll know your pathetic best friend is in love with you, and you’ll know how gross she gets about your body.

even though it feels like ellie might pass out from the stress, she keeps on looking at you. she watches you with every step you take, she watches even harder when you turn around and give her a show of your backside. her hands are clammy, throat dry, and she’s starting to feel the wetness pool in her boxers just by imagining getting to slip down the straps of your bikini top down your shoulders, pull your bikini bottoms to the side.

ellie’s thinking about you laying outside and sunbathing in her backyard in one of those bikinis, her coming outside with two glasses of lemonade, you asking her if she could please help you reapply some sunscreen. ellie rubbing her hands over your naked back, you having already untied your bikini in the back. she’s thinking about how it would be if she slipped her hands lower and lower, until she was right at the edge of your bottoms, telling you she just wants to make sure she rubs the sunscreen everywhere.

yeah, ellie’s fantasies is enough to make her mouth dry and her thighs press together uncomfortably. the normal ellie hopes you don’t notice it, hope you don’t pick up on what’s going on with her while you’re strutting around half naked in those swimsuits. the gross ellie, the dirty ellie wishes you’d notice it and do something about it. ellie wishes that you’d notice and take the first step, maybe sit down in her lap and play with her hair, she wishes you’d take the first step so she doesn’t have to.

if you’d take the first step, if you could look at her like she’s looking at you now, not only would ellie’s heart feel full- she’d also maybe, maybe, be able to ask you for some relief. the stickiness is starting to feel uncomfortable, and ellie’s fingers are twitching in desperation to do something about the heat of pleasure forming in her lower regions. god, who could have thought that you showing off your latest findings from the mall would make her feel like this?

“ellie, are you even paying attention to me?”

thinking about cowboy!ellie, who spends the days working on the miller ranch and sports a a farmers tan all year after spending so many hours outside during the summers. thinking about being new in town, renting a small, small place above the local pub and running into ellie at your local market.

neither of you are paying attention to where you’re going, and she bumps into your shoulder with force. you’re about to squeeze out an apology when your eyes land on her, her freckles, her green eyes, her lips. she’s pretty, and it’s enough to make your mouth feel dry.

when she tips her brown cowboy hat and mutters a soft “scuse me ma’am” you almost faint. her voice has a slight rasp to it, and she’s dripping of that southern charm. ellie doesn’t even spare you a second glance though, she just keeps on walking towards the hardware store. she’s on a quest, looking for some more tools for joel. you just stand there, frozen in place and watching her back as she walks away from you.

maybe. just maybe, this town has more to offer then you first thought.

you don’t run into each other again until a few weeks later, this time when you´re busy doing work in your garden. you don´t notice her until there´s a shadow covering you and you turn around, shocked to see her standing there. she has a flannel on and a white tank top tucked into her pants, and of course she´s wearing the same cowboy hat you saw her in all those weeks ago.

"you have a stand in the market, right? with..." and ellie becomes quiet for a second as she waves her hand towards your plants. "... stuff from your garden." there´s a moment of silence once again, until you manage to tear your eyes away from her face and mutter out a confused; "yes?"

"joel sent me." you know who mr. miller is, of course, but it takes you a while to understand that he´s the joel she´s referring to. it doesn´t help that she looks so good, sleeves carved up and veins visible on her hands and arms. "he´s wondering if he can buy some stuff directly from you, say you always run out of tomatoes and shit before he manages to come down to the market."

"yes, of course!" you stand up, cringing at how eager you seem. not necessarily because he wants to make a purchase, but because that means if the hot girl in front of you usually run his errands she´ll be back for you. "tell him to write down what he wants, and how much of it, and i´ll see what i can do about it."

she gives you a lopsided smile, and tips her hat. god, she´s making you sweat in all the wrong places and she hasn´t even done anything. but then she does something, or rather say something, that is enough to make butterflies spread down your stomach. with her raspy voice, she leaves you with a "sure. see ya later then, princess"

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ rapid eye movement

summary: you meet ellie in a dream

cw: reader mentions she is an english lit major if u don't like it imagine she said it was the major of your choice, flirty friendship but no dating yet (repost from old account)

BEFORE YOU READ!!!:

WHY BOYCOTT TLOU PALESTINE LINKS DAILY CLICK

"Before you speak don't move 'cause i don't wanna wakeup"

The bright light was making it hard to keep your eyes open, not a single cloud in sight. It was a beautiful place, there was no denying that. Spring had always been your favorite season: leafy trees, blooming flowers, green grass and sunny days. If spring was a place, this would be it.

You decided to explore it, feeling the soft breeze on your skin. There was a big meadow, with a beautiful forest next to it. The bushy green trees complimenting the flowery field. There was something about this place that was so peaceful. Like you were the only person in the world and everything worked for you, rather than against you.

It would be a shame to leave so soon, so you take a seat in between the flowers and take everything in. How could a place so beautiful exist?

Your tranquil state is quickly interrupted by the sound of the grass and dirt being step on. You turn your head to see who the culprit is: a freckley auburnette with big green eyes and, for lack of a better adjective, an angelic face. You were prepared to snap at whoever had taken the sweet blissful state away from you, but after seeing her there was no way.

She doesn't say a word. She sits next to you. You'd usually not even consider just letting a random stranger make their way to you and sit next to you but this felt different. Saying that you had never met this girl before was an understatement, yet it felt like seeing an old friend.

Her presence was warm and pleasant, you felt safe.

"If you are interrupting my moment shouldn't i at least know your name?" you ask her with a playful grin.

"Fair enough. I'm Ellie." She chuckles.

You tell her your name and she nods in acknowledgement.

"We haven't met, have we?" you inquire.

"Not that I'm aware, but it-"

"It feels like it," you complete her sentence before she can, earning a smile from her.

"Well, l've never seen you around here. Think I'd remember a pretty face like yours," she says will a smirk on her face. You scoff in response, finding her antics amusing.

"It's my first time here," you explain.

"Hmm, when you'd get here?"

"What?" You ask with a puzzled face. And suddenly you realize you can't remember how long you'd been here, let alone how you got here.

Before she can even answer your question you wake up by the obnoxious sound of your alarm.

7:00 a.m.

The dream was uneventful, to say the least, but there's something about it that makes you think about it over and over again throughout the day. It was one of those dreams that bring you unexplainable comfort, like a tender embrace, like feeling like a kid again, like feeling some sense of home in there.

And, well, of course there was Ellie. You kept trying to think if you'd seen her before. Her face plagued your thoughts the most. You'd never seen anyone like her, you'd never met anyone like her.

Something about her made you feel like you could spend hours and hours with her and still crave her company. It was ridiculous, you'd spend time how long with her? Fifteen minutes? And yet, you'd never felt that way with anyone before.

Alas, it was a dream. Just a dream. She was just a beautiful entity your psyche had created. Maybe your brain knew it's what you craved and was cruel enough to give it to you in the dream realm, only to get it taken away.

You realized it was useless to dwell on your dreams, so you ended up putting the thought of Ellie aside and continuing your day.

That was, until nighttime.

The warm ambience surrounded you once again and before you could take it all in, you heard that raspy voice that had been echoing in your mind all day.

"You left yesterday," she said.

"Had to go to school." You giggle at her frowny face. She rolled her eyes at you.

"Yeah, well, I didn't get to ask anything about you." And damn her flirty tone because it made you weak in the knees.

"What do you wanna know?"

"Just tell me about you." She shrugged.

"Well, I'm 21, I'm in college, I like cats, reading, animals in general, l like the color green and...I'm pretty boring, don't have much more to tell you.” You chuckle.

"I like green too."

"Really? That's your take on what i said?" You laugh.

"What was I supposed to say?" She protests with a laugh.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes at her now. "What about you?"

"Well, I'm 22, I'm also in college, I like space, science, comics," she tells you, not really sure what else to add on to the list.

"Space?"

"Yeah, like, planets and stars and Nasa and shit."

"Nice, is that your major?" you inquire further.

"Yeah, astrophysics.."

"Just how smart are you?" You ask. Frankly, surprised by the girl.

"Shut up." She laughs. "What about you?"

"English Lit." You explain.

"Suits you."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, it's good." She responds with that cocky smile that you have grown to love in a couple minutes.

She had a sort of charm you hadn't really seen elsewhere. It was quite boyish and youthful. She had you a little mesmerized. It was quite stupid, considering you barely knew her, but it was true.

"Do you-" and before she could finish her question, you were once again sucked out of your dream.

You groan in annoyance. Annoyed from being woken up, but mostly by the cold morning air reminding you once again that she wasn't real.

Your brain was creative, you'd give it that. Astrophysics is something you didn't even know you could come up with.

You do the whole thing again. Get up, brush your teeth, go to school, try to pay attention to school even when you all could think of were Ellie's freckles and her peachy lips and her pretty dark lashes and the way she had a bun this time, rather than the half-up half-down hairstyle she had last time. Also, about the fact that she was going to ask you something. What was she going to ask you? You could only hope you'd be blessed tonight once more and be able to dream of her.

And so as the sun came down you prepared yourself to go to sleep.

"Please let me dream of her," you thought to yourself. Pleading your subconscious mind.

You don't know when you finally fell asleep, but you were once again in the forest you had began to grow fond of.

"You have a tendency of leaving mid conversation."

There she was.

You turned to face her, "I don't really control it, you know?" You laugh.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"What were you going to ask me yesterday?" You ask as you softly kick her foot with yours, an affectionate gesture.

She looks down at your feet, pleased by it. Did the smirk ever leave her face or was it permanently there?

"I was asking if you have a boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Ew no."

She laughs at your frowned eyebrows and your disgusted face.

"So you like girls?"

"Why? Are you gonna ask me out?"

You'd later cringe at your own question once awake. How on earth was she supposed to take you out?

"Maybe." She said nonchalantly.

"Right. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Not to worry, all yours."

"You are kind of cocky, do you know that?"

"Oh, come on, you like it."

"Do I, now?" You ask with an incredulous chortle.

"I mean, you do get nervous every time, so l'd say so." She shrugged.

You could immediately feel your cheeks heating up. How could a girl make you lose your composure so easily.

"You are so annoying," you said, to which she just laughed.

-

Night became favorite time of the day from then on. All you did was repeat the cycle everyday: wakeup irritated, hope your day passed as quick as possible (not without reminiscing of your dream all day long), and go to sleep in hopes of dreaming of her again. And again.

And again. Which, to your surprise, you did. Every single night you dreamt of her.

Somehow your dreams went from feeling like minutes with Ellie, to feeling like a hours. In which you talked about everything.

She was the most fascinating person you'd ever encountered. She was smart as hell, funny, kind and of course, had that little cockiness that never really left her side. Which -she was right- you did really like.

Your dreams had always been quite vivid, but you had never appreciated it until now. You were able to really examine her face, hear her voice clearly, see the detail on her tattoo. You'd feel her hand against yours when you walked around the place, or her hair on your fingers as you raked them through her hair when she'd lied on your lap. Nonetheless, it was always accompanied by that soft and warm glow that came with the dream. You could only imagine how much more you’d cherish it all in real life.

And that was the problem. You were completely and absolutely enamored by a girl in a dream. A girl that didn't even exist. But how could you go on with your life knowing you'd never find anyone like her, knowing the perfect girl for you was nowhere to be found?

Life started seeming unappealing to you. Taking class, hanging out with friends, going out. None of it made sense. All you could think of all day long was the night. Every single hour you spend awake seemed like one more hour of you and Ellie being apart. It was eating you alive and you were allowing it.

As dusk arrived you went straight to bed and let yourself fall into a deep slumber.

Your favorite girl was there, waiting for you. You went to hug her. Ellie hugged you back, allowing herself to relax into your arms.

"Missed you," you whispered.

"You say that everyday," she chuckled.

"I miss you everyday," you giggled in response.

She took your hand and the two of you began your stroll. Admiring the trees, the lustrous pond, the flowers. It never got old.

Today you were telling Ellie about school. You mentioned how you'd lost interest lately, not really bothering enough to commit to your studies as you used to.

"Why's that?" She asked.

"I don't know. I don't really care about much lately. Not school, not my friends, not reading." It mildly concerned Ellie, but she didn't say anything.

"You must care about something," she said as she nudged your shoulder.

"I care about being here with you." You shrugged.

"Yeah, but, something else." She insisted.

You shook your head. You didn't want to lie to Ellie. She was the one person you could talk to. And the truth was that she was the only thing to seem worthy of your attention as of late. "I just wanna be here with you all the time."

"It doesn't work like that, doll," she cooed as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You felt a tear trail down your cheek, one that Ellie was quick to gently wipe off with her thumb.

She held you for the rest of your time together.

The next morning you slowly opened your eyes, trying to adjust to the change in lightening. You didn't feel vexed like every other day.

You had a tight knot on your chest that you couldn't explain. A fast-growing affliction that wasn't usually there.

After that night, you never dreamed of Ellie again.

-

It had been three months since you had last seen her. The first few weeks were pure agony.

There was a lot of crying and screaming involved. You were confused and angry and miserable. There was no way to fix it and you didn't even know what you were feeling.

There was no one you could talk to either. What were you supposed to say? That you fell for someone in a dream and now you couldn't deal with the fact that your brain wouldn't let you dream of her anymore?

You kept going to sleep every night hopeful of seeing her again, but it was completely useless. You eventually gave up, realizing it wasn't going to happen.

You were forced to resume your life. You focused yourself on studying, hanging out with your friends, going back to your beloved books. Everything was starting to go back to normal. And yet, there was not a single day where you didn't think of her.

You were headed to your favorite café. Wanting to get some studying done and leaving your apartment for a little bit. As you finally arrived, you settled on your favorite table, put your headphones on and got to work.

Truthfully, your table was a mess. Your computer open, books everywhere and sticky notes all over the place. But it helped you get the work done and that's what mattered most.

After a couple hours you decided to pack everything up and make your way back home, sleep finally sneaking its way up to you.

As you were walking out the door you heard steps hot on your trail.

"Hey, you left this."

Your turned around to see who the familiar voice belonged to. She was handing you a notebook, one you must've missed in the midst of your mess.

As you moved your eyes up to thank the kind stranger, you were met with those two piercing eyes that hadn't been able to leave your mind. The short haired girl with auburn hair, freckles and button nose was standing right in front of you, in the flesh.

It was Ellie.

-

a/n: hi this is a repost from my old account :) i’ll repost part 2 in a couple days and while i write part 3. hopefully it doesn’t flop massively

taglist @fleshunger @elsbunny222 @whore4abby

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ rapid eye movement

summary: you meet ellie in a dream

cw: reader mentions she is an english lit major if u don't like it imagine she said it was the major of your choice, flirty friendship but no dating yet (repost from old account)

BEFORE YOU READ!!!:

WHY BOYCOTT TLOU PALESTINE LINKS DAILY CLICK

"Before you speak don't move 'cause i don't wanna wakeup"

The bright light was making it hard to keep your eyes open, not a single cloud in sight. It was a beautiful place, there was no denying that. Spring had always been your favorite season: leafy trees, blooming flowers, green grass and sunny days. If spring was a place, this would be it.

You decided to explore it, feeling the soft breeze on your skin. There was a big meadow, with a beautiful forest next to it. The bushy green trees complimenting the flowery field. There was something about this place that was so peaceful. Like you were the only person in the world and everything worked for you, rather than against you.

It would be a shame to leave so soon, so you take a seat in between the flowers and take everything in. How could a place so beautiful exist?

Your tranquil state is quickly interrupted by the sound of the grass and dirt being step on. You turn your head to see who the culprit is: a freckley auburnette with big green eyes and, for lack of a better adjective, an angelic face. You were prepared to snap at whoever had taken the sweet blissful state away from you, but after seeing her there was no way.

She doesn't say a word. She sits next to you. You'd usually not even consider just letting a random stranger make their way to you and sit next to you but this felt different. Saying that you had never met this girl before was an understatement, yet it felt like seeing an old friend.

Her presence was warm and pleasant, you felt safe.

"If you are interrupting my moment shouldn't i at least know your name?" you ask her with a playful grin.

"Fair enough. I'm Ellie." She chuckles.

You tell her your name and she nods in acknowledgement.

"We haven't met, have we?" you inquire.

"Not that I'm aware, but it-"

"It feels like it," you complete her sentence before she can, earning a smile from her.

"Well, l've never seen you around here. Think I'd remember a pretty face like yours," she says will a smirk on her face. You scoff in response, finding her antics amusing.

"It's my first time here," you explain.

"Hmm, when you'd get here?"

"What?" You ask with a puzzled face. And suddenly you realize you can't remember how long you'd been here, let alone how you got here.

Before she can even answer your question you wake up by the obnoxious sound of your alarm.

7:00 a.m.

The dream was uneventful, to say the least, but there's something about it that makes you think about it over and over again throughout the day. It was one of those dreams that bring you unexplainable comfort, like a tender embrace, like feeling like a kid again, like feeling some sense of home in there.

And, well, of course there was Ellie. You kept trying to think if you'd seen her before. Her face plagued your thoughts the most. You'd never seen anyone like her, you'd never met anyone like her.

Something about her made you feel like you could spend hours and hours with her and still crave her company. It was ridiculous, you'd spend time how long with her? Fifteen minutes? And yet, you'd never felt that way with anyone before.

Alas, it was a dream. Just a dream. She was just a beautiful entity your psyche had created. Maybe your brain knew it's what you craved and was cruel enough to give it to you in the dream realm, only to get it taken away.

You realized it was useless to dwell on your dreams, so you ended up putting the thought of Ellie aside and continuing your day.

That was, until nighttime.

The warm ambience surrounded you once again and before you could take it all in, you heard that raspy voice that had been echoing in your mind all day.

"You left yesterday," she said.

"Had to go to school." You giggle at her frowny face. She rolled her eyes at you.

"Yeah, well, I didn't get to ask anything about you." And damn her flirty tone because it made you weak in the knees.

"What do you wanna know?"

"Just tell me about you." She shrugged.

"Well, I'm 21, I'm in college, I like cats, reading, animals in general, l like the color green and...I'm pretty boring, don't have much more to tell you.” You chuckle.

"I like green too."

"Really? That's your take on what i said?" You laugh.

"What was I supposed to say?" She protests with a laugh.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes at her now. "What about you?"

"Well, I'm 22, I'm also in college, I like space, science, comics," she tells you, not really sure what else to add on to the list.

"Space?"

"Yeah, like, planets and stars and Nasa and shit."

"Nice, is that your major?" you inquire further.

"Yeah, astrophysics.."

"Just how smart are you?" You ask. Frankly, surprised by the girl.

"Shut up." She laughs. "What about you?"

"English Lit." You explain.

"Suits you."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, it's good." She responds with that cocky smile that you have grown to love in a couple minutes.

She had a sort of charm you hadn't really seen elsewhere. It was quite boyish and youthful. She had you a little mesmerized. It was quite stupid, considering you barely knew her, but it was true.

"Do you-" and before she could finish her question, you were once again sucked out of your dream.

You groan in annoyance. Annoyed from being woken up, but mostly by the cold morning air reminding you once again that she wasn't real.

Your brain was creative, you'd give it that. Astrophysics is something you didn't even know you could come up with.

You do the whole thing again. Get up, brush your teeth, go to school, try to pay attention to school even when you all could think of were Ellie's freckles and her peachy lips and her pretty dark lashes and the way she had a bun this time, rather than the half-up half-down hairstyle she had last time. Also, about the fact that she was going to ask you something. What was she going to ask you? You could only hope you'd be blessed tonight once more and be able to dream of her.

And so as the sun came down you prepared yourself to go to sleep.

"Please let me dream of her," you thought to yourself. Pleading your subconscious mind.

You don't know when you finally fell asleep, but you were once again in the forest you had began to grow fond of.

"You have a tendency of leaving mid conversation."

There she was.

You turned to face her, "I don't really control it, you know?" You laugh.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"What were you going to ask me yesterday?" You ask as you softly kick her foot with yours, an affectionate gesture.

She looks down at your feet, pleased by it. Did the smirk ever leave her face or was it permanently there?

"I was asking if you have a boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Ew no."

She laughs at your frowned eyebrows and your disgusted face.

"So you like girls?"

"Why? Are you gonna ask me out?"

You'd later cringe at your own question once awake. How on earth was she supposed to take you out?

"Maybe." She said nonchalantly.

"Right. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Not to worry, all yours."

"You are kind of cocky, do you know that?"

"Oh, come on, you like it."

"Do I, now?" You ask with an incredulous chortle.

"I mean, you do get nervous every time, so l'd say so." She shrugged.

You could immediately feel your cheeks heating up. How could a girl make you lose your composure so easily.

"You are so annoying," you said, to which she just laughed.

-

Night became favorite time of the day from then on. All you did was repeat the cycle everyday: wakeup irritated, hope your day passed as quick as possible (not without reminiscing of your dream all day long), and go to sleep in hopes of dreaming of her again. And again.

And again. Which, to your surprise, you did. Every single night you dreamt of her.

Somehow your dreams went from feeling like minutes with Ellie, to feeling like a hours. In which you talked about everything.

She was the most fascinating person you'd ever encountered. She was smart as hell, funny, kind and of course, had that little cockiness that never really left her side. Which -she was right- you did really like.

Your dreams had always been quite vivid, but you had never appreciated it until now. You were able to really examine her face, hear her voice clearly, see the detail on her tattoo. You'd feel her hand against yours when you walked around the place, or her hair on your fingers as you raked them through her hair when she'd lied on your lap. Nonetheless, it was always accompanied by that soft and warm glow that came with the dream. You could only imagine how much more you’d cherish it all in real life.

And that was the problem. You were completely and absolutely enamored by a girl in a dream. A girl that didn't even exist. But how could you go on with your life knowing you'd never find anyone like her, knowing the perfect girl for you was nowhere to be found?

Life started seeming unappealing to you. Taking class, hanging out with friends, going out. None of it made sense. All you could think of all day long was the night. Every single hour you spend awake seemed like one more hour of you and Ellie being apart. It was eating you alive and you were allowing it.

As dusk arrived you went straight to bed and let yourself fall into a deep slumber.

Your favorite girl was there, waiting for you. You went to hug her. Ellie hugged you back, allowing herself to relax into your arms.

"Missed you," you whispered.

"You say that everyday," she chuckled.

"I miss you everyday," you giggled in response.

She took your hand and the two of you began your stroll. Admiring the trees, the lustrous pond, the flowers. It never got old.

Today you were telling Ellie about school. You mentioned how you'd lost interest lately, not really bothering enough to commit to your studies as you used to.

"Why's that?" She asked.

"I don't know. I don't really care about much lately. Not school, not my friends, not reading." It mildly concerned Ellie, but she didn't say anything.

"You must care about something," she said as she nudged your shoulder.

"I care about being here with you." You shrugged.

"Yeah, but, something else." She insisted.

You shook your head. You didn't want to lie to Ellie. She was the one person you could talk to. And the truth was that she was the only thing to seem worthy of your attention as of late. "I just wanna be here with you all the time."

"It doesn't work like that, doll," she cooed as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You felt a tear trail down your cheek, one that Ellie was quick to gently wipe off with her thumb.

She held you for the rest of your time together.

The next morning you slowly opened your eyes, trying to adjust to the change in lightening. You didn't feel vexed like every other day.

You had a tight knot on your chest that you couldn't explain. A fast-growing affliction that wasn't usually there.

After that night, you never dreamed of Ellie again.

-

It had been three months since you had last seen her. The first few weeks were pure agony.

There was a lot of crying and screaming involved. You were confused and angry and miserable. There was no way to fix it and you didn't even know what you were feeling.

There was no one you could talk to either. What were you supposed to say? That you fell for someone in a dream and now you couldn't deal with the fact that your brain wouldn't let you dream of her anymore?

You kept going to sleep every night hopeful of seeing her again, but it was completely useless. You eventually gave up, realizing it wasn't going to happen.

You were forced to resume your life. You focused yourself on studying, hanging out with your friends, going back to your beloved books. Everything was starting to go back to normal. And yet, there was not a single day where you didn't think of her.

You were headed to your favorite café. Wanting to get some studying done and leaving your apartment for a little bit. As you finally arrived, you settled on your favorite table, put your headphones on and got to work.

Truthfully, your table was a mess. Your computer open, books everywhere and sticky notes all over the place. But it helped you get the work done and that's what mattered most.

After a couple hours you decided to pack everything up and make your way back home, sleep finally sneaking its way up to you.

As you were walking out the door you heard steps hot on your trail.

"Hey, you left this."

Your turned around to see who the familiar voice belonged to. She was handing you a notebook, one you must've missed in the midst of your mess.

As you moved your eyes up to thank the kind stranger, you were met with those two piercing eyes that hadn't been able to leave your mind. The short haired girl with auburn hair, freckles and button nose was standing right in front of you, in the flesh.

It was Ellie.

-

a/n: hi this is a repost from my old account :) i’ll repost part 2 in a couple days and while i write part 3. hopefully it doesn’t flop massively

taglist @fleshunger @elsbunny222 @whore4abby

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 -> e. williams

PAIRING: ellie williams x fem!reader WARNINGS: mentions of past trauma, head injuries, amnesia, underage drinking SUMMARY: the reader is ellie's best friend from FEDRA school who, after a run-in with an infected, suffers from a bout of amnesia, after years apart, ellie and y/n are handed over to joel to bring to the fireflies. their reunion is bittersweet due to y/n's condition, leading them to play a game of ellie's imagination in order to piece together the past.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I may or may not have taken the concept of "Real or not real?" from the Hunger Games, but LET ME BE OBSESSEDDDDD. Once I had this idea, I couldn't get it out of my head. My little creativity monkey wouldn't shut up, thus this fic was born. I don't know, I think it's adorable! Enjoy! also, mild spoiler because i just thought of it and it's funny: ...and they were roommates.

"And then you punched her right in the jaw! I'm not kidding, she had a bruise for the next couple of weeks. Couple stitches in her lip too," Ellie said, excitedly recounting a story from the past. "Obviously, Captain Kwong threw you in the hole for another two weeks, but it was worth it. At least, that's what you said."

You almost laughed at the story, forgetting momentarily that you were the star of it. At least the old you had the balls to do all the things you wish you could do now. "I sound pretty badass."

"You were," Ellie said without a beat. Then, more confidently, "You are."

You paused, sobering up a bit at the reminder. Sometimes when you heard these things about your past, you couldn't believe it. You were like some mythological legend you heard about but never imagined you could be ― and yet it was you. Nothing changed between the two versions other than time. Well, time and a traumatic brain injury. You couldn't really leave that bit out.

Ellie seemed to notice your sudden solemnity and was quick to change the subject. "You know, you were the one who introduced me to Pearl Jam?"

You looked up, interested.

"Yeah, yeah you did. You smuggled all these cassettes in and we'd listen to them on my Walkman. God, we'd be up until two, three in the morning just playing that shit on repeat. Our dorm guard hated us because we'd talk over it, too. Woke everybody up. We made a loooot of enemies back then."

"Seems like it. But, to be fair, you seem like kind of a difficult person to be around."

Ellie's jaw dropped as she feigned offense, throwing the pebble at her. "I'm very pleasant company, thank you very much."

Y/n rolled her eyes, muttering something sarcastic under her breath. There was a bottle of some amber liquid, hidden from Joel, closed in her fist. It burned when she swallowed it, but enough sips made her head heavy. It was nice. Warm. Almost fuzzy, even. She set it down, sighing deeply. "Sometimes I get these...these glimmers of the past, but I'm not sure if they're real or if I just made them up."

Ellie stopped. Contemplated. She leaned over, taking the bottle from Y/n's grip, and looking down the barrel to see how much was left. She wanted to help Y/n. She did. In fact, there was nothing in the fucking world she wanted more. It just so happened that what she suffered from was the most unhelpable problem in the fucking universe.

There was only one thing she could think to do to try and unravel the enigmatic fucking past.

"How about we play a game?" she asked, taking a swig from the bottle. "You tell me something you think you remember ― something from your glimmers ― " she added with a grin, "and I'll tell you if it's real or not real."

Y/n paused, thinking. "Real or not real. That could work," she mumbled. "Okay, um...I'll start with the first thing I remembered: my favorite FEDRA food was beans on toast."

"Easy. Real," Ellie said without a beat. "Every Wednesday you were so excited for that shit. It was fucking disgusting, too. I didn't get it. Still don't."

Y/n felt a pang of excitement in her chest. Something she remembered had been real. Not an illusion, but fact. That meant that maybe, maybe, she could recover.

"Gimme that," she muttered, taking the bottle from Ellie and taking a celebratory sip. The other girl laughed as Y/n swallowed, grasping for some other memory to recount. "Okay, um, there was a girl. We both hated her. Her name was...oh fuck, what was it? It started with a B."

"Bethany?"

"Yes! Bethany."

"She was the one you sent to the infirmary! Real." Ellie said, bubbling with excitement too. She could see how happy Y/n was now, knowing that she was slowly but surely grasping bits of her past. And that, if anything, made her a little happy too.

They started passing the bottle back and forth. Question, drink. Answer, drink. Warmth hummed in both of their chests, tearing sobriety in half.

Y/n's cheeks burned pink in the moonlight. "Okay, I'm not super sure about this one, but were the walls of our dorm blue?"

"Mm, not real," Ellie replied with a shake of her head. "Maybe that's something else though? Like maybe your house had blue walls?"

"Yeah, maybe."

Y/n's face had fallen a bit ― whether it was because a glimmer had been wrong or from the mention of home, she wasn't sure. It occurred to Ellie then that she may have had memories of home that she wasn't telling her. Maybe because there wasn't a person alive that could confirm them.

Either way, something had upset her. And Ellie didn't like that.

"Hey, you're, like, 6 for 7. These glimmers are pretty fuckin' reliable."

"Yeah, I guess," Y/n said, her grin returning. "Okay, next one...oh, I remember this one. It's about you."

"Oh?"

"Indeed. You're the star, Ellie. So: there was a night that we went out on the roof and stared up at the sky for hours. You told me random shit about the moon and space ― cause you love that stuff. Real or not real."

"Real," Ellie confirmed. "It happened a couple times, actually. I think the last time was when we..." she trailed off, pausing briefly. "No. Never mind."

Y/n looked up, hastily cutting off her sip from the bottle. "Come on, what? You're withholding information from an amnesiac? That's, like, borderline illegal. Come on, I'm a big girl. I can take it."

But there were some things that Ellie, upon recognizing Y/n's condition, decided not to tell. There were some things you couldn't force on a person. And if history repeated itself, so be it. but if not, Ellie wouldn't be the one to force it.

"The last time we went up, I nearly pushed you off the roof, and you accused me of trying to murder you. Excuse me for trying to avoid a touchy subject."

She immediately regretted lying.

Y/n rolled her eyes, taking another sip. "Yeah, okay. Maybe it's better I don't remember that part. There's no stopping me from smothering you in your sleep."

Ellie laughed quietly, but Y/n sensed that she'd been slightly put out. Desperate to continue the game, she searched for any of the so-called glimmers she'd gotten recently. They'd all been fairly boring ― games of dodgeball, training at FEDRA school, and then...

Oh.

There had been one glimmer that had stopped Y/n in her tracks. One that had woken her up in the middle of the night, heart beating so violently she could feel it in her teeth.

That one, she hoped, was real. But if it wasn't ― if it was just her imagination playing tricks on her ― and she asked Ellie anyway? That had the potential to be catastrophic.

When she was silent for a little too long, Ellie cocked her head, trying to discern the calculating look on Y/n's face. "What?"

"Hm?" Y/n asked, eyes still frozen to the ground. "Oh, nothing. Boring glimmers, blah blah blah."

"No, hey ― I want the boring. If we're going to get your memory back in tip-top shape, that means leaving no stone unturned. Come on, lay it on me. Boring as hell. Go."

Y/n sighed, throwing her head back. "Fine. Boring it is, I guess. I sucked at math. Real or not real."

"Real. You sucked bad."

"Expected. I was a fast runner. Real or not real."

"Hell yeah you were. Put me to shame. Real."

"Ah, some good news, finally," she joked. "Um...you didn't like me when we first met. Real or not real."

"Jesus, you're really exposing me here. Real."

Y/n's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Yeah. You smiled a lot and talked nonstop. I couldn't get you to shut up."

That sent Y/n into a fit of laughter, throwing her head back so quickly she almost tipped over, sending herself sprawling against the forest floor. "So when did you realize I wasn't a pain in the ass?"

Ellie paused, thinking. "Our third day of training. This girl, Megan, made fun of me because I couldn't make it all the way up the rope. Before I could tell her to fuck off, you stepped in. You called her bleached hair tacky and told her to find a more original insult. And when she didn't back down, you swung. She beat your ass, of course ― you couldn't fight for shit back then. But that was when I realized you were a pretty damn good roommate. And I started to listen when you talked."

Y/n's brows had furrowed halfway through the story as a new glimmer rapidly began to reveal itself. "You'd sneak out after lights out to visit me in the infirmary. You brought the Walkman with you and gave it to me to keep throughout the day."

Ellie swallowed, nodding. "That's real."

Y/n nodded in response, staring down at her dirty sneakers to avoid looking at Ellie. The other glimmer ― the terrifying one ― burned hot on her tongue, begging to be recounted. It was a risk, of course it was. But the old Y/n seemed to live in peace with those, even if they left her with a black eye.

"There's one more," she said quietly, her throat constricting. "I loved you. Like, really loved you. And I think you loved me back. Real or not real."

The bottle swayed in Ellie's hand. Y/n tore her eyes away from the ground to look up at Ellie, her heart thumping. And in the pale moonlight, she saw a nod. "Real."

There Is No Escape From Love

  A/N- This one was requested from my AO3 account. First time writing Ellie x Dina so I hope you like it <3 All your feedbacks are so important to me so let me know If you like my writing, how I should improve it etc. 

  Summary-  Ellie has been with Cat for a long time, but Cat gets into a silly fight with Ellie and eventually Ellie finds herself in Dina's arms. Another day, Ellie is injured while on patrol with Joel, and when she returns to Jackson, she becomes the center of attention for Dina.

  Warnings- killing, violence, pain, Ellie is in stress but Dina takes care of her. UwU so lovely <3

        gif from Pinterest! ( this scene is just- Have no words ! )

   Ellie was so attentive whenever she went on patrol that she sometimes came back to Jackson very energetically, and oddly enough, no one was minding her. But after the events with Cat, her mind was starting to get confused. She couldn't help thinking, 'Am I not really a good girlfriend?' In fact, the subject they were discussing was just as ridiculous, and Ellie seemed to go crazy when she thought about it. Cat was the girl who didn't like to go out much, fit the description of the nerdy high school girl, and that's what Ellie thought of whenever she thought of Cat. 

   Another evening, Ellie told Cat that she was going out with Dina and Jesse and that she would come, but Cat was upset and started a fight with Ellie out of nowhere. Ellie wasn't always that positive and she had stress issues, which Cat should have realized by now. But it happened, and when Ellie suddenly started to scatter and shout, she knew that Cat was scared of her, so she took a deep breath and walked out the door without turning around. Ellie needed to calm down so she decided to go with Dina and Jesse.

   When she got to the place where they were, she was surprised to see a crying Dina in front of her and waited for a few seconds before sitting next to her. Apparently they had a fight with Jesse again.

   When Dina saw Ellie coming, she stood up and stretched out her arms to hug her. Ellie did the same, hugging her girlfriend tightly. Ellie didn't ask why because she knew they were like this all the time and she couldn't take the chaos anymore. Ellie took her hand and dragged her to her place, and they talked all night about their past lives and the things they liked. Ellie talked about those comic books again and after a while the two of them were looking at each other so well that Ellie couldn't stop kissing her. Maybe Ellie had taken advantage of Dina's sad mood, but Dina was responding, too, and Ellie realized then that Dina wasn't empty to her.

  When she woke up in the morning, Ellie felt a soft body next to her and wished that this moment would never end, but there was a patrol that day and she prepared slowly so as not to wake her, no matter how hard she tried, left a note on the nightstand next to her bed to indicate that she was leaving. Winter was approaching, but Ellie never felt cold because she had fought worse. When she got to where the horses were, her eyes searched for Jesse but couldn't find him, and when Joel arrived a few minutes later, they said a little hello and good morning to each other, and set off to blow the brains of the sick. Ellie was unaware of what was going to happen to her. If there was one thing Ellie didn't tell anyone, it was that she didn't expect to see anyone other than sick people out there because they had to be defensive and just like themselves, and you wouldn't know where they would come from. Jackson was being invaded in some way at least every month, and as a result, people fell short of their fun for a while. When Ellie first came here, she liked it so much that she had a hard time not hugging Joel, but she knew she was hurting that man too. She loved Joel and didn't think she could live without him, but Ellie wasn't very good at showing her feelings, so you could tell from her eyes what she was going through, and Joel could fully understand what Ellie was feeling. Because he was a teenager just like her, and he did the craziest thing in his adolescence and became Sarah's father, and that was a very bad thing for him at the time because what his mom and dad thought was more important than what he thought, but he somehow survived these events, but the day of the outbreak was in his life. It was the scariest and saddest day of his life, and Joel would never forget them.

   Joel wanted to break the silence between them, but Ellie already understood that and rolled her eyes and waited for him to speak.

    '' Kiddo, I'm sensing some bad things in you. Did someone hurt you? " Ellie didn't have to tell Joel that much, and she didn't feel obligated to say anything, but it was Joel and he wouldn't let it go. “No, I mean maybe yes… I dunno. Last night was rough and kinda cute at the same time and I don't know how I feel or… Pff I don't know Joel.” Joel nodded in understandment at what Ellie had said and smiled sweetly. ''Ya can always talk to me If you have something goin' on, you know that right? “ Ellie smiled at him too and nooded her head as yes. After a few moments of silence, Ellie decided to explain to Joel how she felt, but it didn't turn out the way she thought it would because an arrow pierced the tree right in front of her, and the horse she was riding, Shimmer, reared up in fright and rushed madly into the trees with Ellie. Although Ellie tried to stop her horse, unsure of what to do, she knew she was in danger and seemed nowhere to hide. “ Shimmer STOP! No wait, not that way. HEY I SAID- “ Shimmer threw Ellie off of her before she could finish speaking and the horse ran away herself. Maybe she could find her horse later, but when Ellie looked where she had fallen, all she saw was mud and blood. Se heard a whistle and wanted to get up quickly, but it wasn't that easy in her situation. She stood up cautiously, but was thrown to the ground by the pain of the arrow hitting her shoulder and writhing in pain.

   She didn't know where Joel was, but she wasn't stupid enough to try to summon him because she knew she was surrounded by enemies. She quickly pulled out the arrow and was so careful not to shout that her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Ellie lay there breathing deep and silently, waiting for the enemies to go away, and they did. Hearing no sound, she got up and tried to get out of the mud, ignoring Shimmer. She paused at the sound of the bush and pulled out her gun. ''Who are you!? Come out, NOW! “ That person came out of hiding, listening to Ellie, and when Ellie saw it was Joel, she took a deep breath and walked towards him. Joel was breathing heavily, and he wasn't quite well either. He took Ellie in his arms and asked if she had anything, but then when he saw the scar on her arm, his eyes widened and he dragged her with him to the place where his own horse was. ''Now, you go to Jackson and head straight to infirmary. No buts Ellie you should go and patch this up. Please don't make me repeat myself. “Ellie nodded and got on Joel’s horse. She just stood there motionless and looked gratefully at Joel. “Thank you Joel. " Joel nodded, as if accepting Ellie's thanks, and with that, Ellie rode Joel's horse towards Jackson. When she got to the place where the big doors were, she said her own name, but her voice was too weak because of the pain. They opened the doors anyway, and Ellie came in, handed the horse over to the people present, and asked them to call Maria to the infirmary. When she arrived at the infirmary, the woman there asked her to sit on one of the beds and went to get some supplies to clean her wound. Ellie heard footsteps coming from the side of the door and straightened her posture. She was surprised to see the people entering because she wasn't expecting Dina here. “What are you doing here?” She asked, unable to keep the surprise in her voice. Dina was panting and when she got to Ellie she grabbed her hands tightly and then hugged her tightly.

   “Oh Ellie I was so worried. I was going to the garden to pick somethings but I found Maria pacing around so I asked her what was up and she said you were hurt and I quickly came with her. How did this happen though? “ Instead of answering, Ellie looked at Maria and asked her to save her from answering for the moment. Maria rubbed her hands and cleared her throat, giving her authoritative speech. ''Well I'm sure Ellie would tell you everything in private so maybe you should just go with her and make her not to do anything stupid, yeah? " However, she looked at Ellie as if to say 'we'll talk later' and walked out of the infirmary. Unbeknownst to Ellie, her arm was bandaged and she was holding Dina's hand with her other hand. They left the infirmary hand in hand without saying a word, met Cat on the way, but both continued on their way without greeting. When they entered the garage where Ellie was staying, they both threw themselves into the seat at the same time, and when they realized this, they looked at each other and started laughing.

   When their laughter was over, they looked into each other's eyes and kissed passionately, as if they never wanted to part. After a few moments, they broke their kiss, and Dina placed her hand on Ellie's cheek and looked at her lovingly, as if she had never seen her ''   What would i do if you died there? I'm here for you Ellie so please don't get yourself away from me. I want you to love me. " Dina's words sounded to Ellie as if they were the words of a song and Dina wrote that song. It was then that Ellie realized that whenever Dina looked at her,   Ellie was fascinated and there was no escape from it.

Pacifying The Blame

   A/N- Hey guys! I have a publishing schedule and I shared it with you yesterday. Of course there may be setbacks so I apologize in advance but now enjoy the story because in my opinion this fic turned out good. Send me some feedback If you liked it though <3 

Request from- Anonymous

   Summary- Ellie blames reader for hiding the fact that she saved her from getting studied by the fireflies and they breakup but later, Ellie realizes how much she fucked up when she sees Reader at a party with another girl.

   Warnings-  Smut, angst, Ellie is angry with Reader ( I’m a sucker for angry Ellie btw that girl can do everything to me :)  )

     You woke up with a loud banging on your door. You sighed deeply as you got up. When you shuffled to open the outer door of the house, you questioned why Joel was in your small house at this hour. But before you could even open your mouth, Joel pushed you inside and thoroughly searched the already small house. You closed the outer door and folded your arms across your chest, watching what he was doing. You couldn't see much because you were sleepy and your eyes were half closed, and it was a bit like you were dreaming.     Fortunately, Joel finished his inspection of the house and stood before you. “Where is she, Y/N?” he said in a single move without hesitation. It was obvious that he was running fast on the way here. He was obviously talking about Ellie, but Ellie was here. Your eyes suddenly opened and you looked at the side of the bed, but you still couldn't believe it and wanted to look at the place where the bathroom was, but she wasn't there either. Ellie was nowhere in the house.     Turning hastily towards Joel, you met his usual scowl. That's when you started to panic.

  “ I-I- I don't understand. She was with me last night. We drank and laughed and we-we. Holy shit! ” Actually, Ellie hadn't had anything to drink. She was sober all night. Ellie put you to sleep. No matter how much you wanted to avert your eyes from Joel, you couldn't succeed. He came up to you and held you by both shoulders and asked you to look at him in the eyes and tell the truth. “ Y/N, you're her girlfriend I'm pretty sure you know what happened. So please tell me and we can find her.” You asked Joel to speak more clearly. “ Guards saw her running of. Without saying anything. Do you know where she went? “ With no idea, you slipped out of Joel's arms and looked around. She should have left a note. She couldn't have just left in the middle of the night. She wouldn't do such a thing to Joel, and especially to you, whom she cares so much about.

  But there was something that Joel and you had not noticed before. There was a note hanging on the cork board right behind her bed, and it was a miracle you had even seen it, for it was a small torn and handwritten note so that it could not be found. What was Ellie supposed to do that was so important? You almost ran to the clipboard and quickly ripped the note out.

  ‘ Don't worry about me but now I want some answers. I know you will come to see me, you know where i will be Y/N ‘

 You wanted not to show Joel this note that you read with trembling hands. You thought it was all over. You thought that now a normal life, a decent life awaits you. Ellie wasn't going to stop because she knew you were lying. You really wished this was a dream. You wished that everything, everything she would do, would end. When you opened and closed your eyes, you were faced with the same view again. Tears streamed from your eyes. You walked slowly to Joel and  reluctantly handed Joel the note you were holding with trembling fingers.

  You knew he had read it when he began to scowl and raise his eyebrows.   There was dead silence in the room. Joel crumpled the note in his hand and threw it on the floor, turned and quickly left the house. You ran after him and grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards you. “I'll come with you. “ He took his wrist from your hand and kept walking. He couldn't walk away without you. You two started it and you two were going to finish it. “Joel! Please wait up! “ He stopped but did not turn to you, his face still facing forward. You stepped in front of him and grabbed his chin with your fingers, making him look at you. "You can't just do this by yourself, Joel" was insisting on not looking at you, and you held his chin tighter so he was looking at you " let me help you. “He pulled his head out of your hands and shook his head no. He quickly walked away from there without looking back, and you couldn't just do anything and watched him disappear.

 You wanted to go after him and be by his side. You wanted to say you saved Ellie to her face but have no regrets, but your feet couldn't even move from where you were. Your tears were flowing like floods. Of course, your conscience was never clear because of the lie you told your girlfriend, but that's what you had to do.

  In order not to just stand there and do something silly, you went back to the house you shared with Ellie and after you went in and closed the door, you went to the side of her bed and laid there sniffing her pillow. You had no choice but to wait.

   “ Y/N, you there? “ You opened your eyes at the sound of the radio and quickly got up from your bed. You picked up the radio and answered the leader. “Yeah, what's up? Are they here? “ Yes,” the woman said, taking a deep breath. Before she could answer, you turned off the radio and rushed out. You didn't expect to see Ellie in front of you. You held your breath and looked into her eyes. You tried to tell something with your eyes so that she would shout at you. You wanted her to hit you, just wanted her to tell you at least something. You did not say anything. You couldn't. Ellie glanced at you for a moment, then slammed her shoulder into you and slammed the door behind her.” Here we go Y/N” you said to yourself. Your instincts were telling you this would be very difficult, but you didn't listen to any of them. You owed her an explanation.

 You walked into the house and saw her sitting there, on the corner of the bed, shaking her leg in anger. It was something you wanted so much at that moment to stop her and hug , but you did not dare and started to tell everything directly.

  “ I-I mean ‘we’ didn't want to lose you. I loved you since the day I met you, Ellie. I couldn't do it. Joel was in the same way with me so I didn't force him to but I swear I have nothing to do with Marl- " She looked up to you so fatally that you had to interrupt yourself. The girl stood up and stared nervously into your eyes, right in front of you. You didn't know where to put your hands at that moment, you wanted to go backwards, but she was staring at you so deathly that you seemed nailed in place. You couldn't move. “We. are. done. Y/N,” she said, emphasizing every word. You heard the sound of your heart cracking and breaking. You were dizzy. You moved towards her, but she backed off and made a stop sign with her hand. “ Don't you dare see me again. I said we are done. Now go! “ You left the house without even looking at her face because she was so angry and not to go too far, and only one person you knew, who would understand you at that moment, came to your mind. Maria. 

  It was normal for you to still feel very tired and unhappy even after a few days, because all the days without Ellie had made you exhausted. She was your everything and the last thing you wanted to suddenly lose her like that. You haven't seen his face since the day she kicked you out of her house, you only saw her back, and even if she saw you, she would walk away without even looking at you. It was obvious that you were bored with this situation, and she couldn't be said to be very happy either.

  You shared everything with each other. You always supported each other no matter what, but of course, she was very upset that she was lied to by her girlfriend and that a vaccine that could save all humanity could not be made because she was saved. She was right until the end, yelling and pushing and shoving you, but it was also meaningful that you loved her more than anyone else in the whole world, and it hurt so much to see her on that operating table at that moment, that you forcibly suppressed the urge to pull those cables attached to her and yell. You probably wouldn't have been able to deal with those doctors and soldiers if Joel wasn't around.

 Neither of you knew it would come to this. Ellie said she believed in you, but the thoughts she was holding inside were starting to choke her, and she found herself on her way to the hospital in the middle of the night.

   You could no longer cope with your thoughts, and your desire to tell your troubles to someone was increasing. Although you talked to Maria the same things over and over, she had a lot.. That's why you couldn't bother her very often. One day, after returning from patrol, while you were sprawling in Maria's seat, Tommy came over to you and told you to get out and wander for a bit. He heard from Maria that there were some newcomers to Jackson and he wanted to introduce you to them. Tommy told them about you, and one of their girl eagerly agreed and asked you to come to the party that was going to be at a bar in Jackson. Tommy said the girl's name was Enid, but you weren't too keen on the idea of ​​going out. All you wanted to do was lie down and shut yourself up in your thoughts, no matter how much they were suffocating now.

 “ No, Tommy I don't wanna go out right now. Actually I am not gonna go out for my whole life because I can't even look at girlfriend's- I mean my EX girlfriend's eyes and she doesn't even look at me because she hates me so no. I won't. ' you said with one breath.  Tommy laughed softly at your statement  and pulled you from your arms and sat next to you. “ I know this is hard for you girl but you can't give up on her, not yet. You love her and I bet she still loves you. So stop being like a stubborn little girl and go get your girlfriend. “ “ How though? Like I said she doesn't even- oh.Yeah. Okay now I've got an idea. “ You chuckled and before you stood up, thanked him for the chance to meet Enid, you leaned in and gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek. The man was surprised and looked at you as if he didn't understand anything. He squinted his eyes and watched you leave his side and leave the small but modern living room. “Damn. This girl really does love Ellie. “

  You wore a beautiful red dress that you've never worn before and that you got from the common attire the day before. You couldn't imagine how Ellie would look at you when she saw this on you. Maybe being the center of attention wouldn't be so good because you always dressed like yourself and today you're a player who wants to get your girlfriend back. You thought it would work, because both that outfit and talking to that girl Enid would drive her crazy. Of course, there was also the possibility that she might not come to the bar, but at that moment, you didn't care much about it, you put on your old jacket in case the weather gets cold and  smiling at the possibility of leaving this house and making peace with Ellie, and you went to the bar where you would meet with Enid.

   Along the way, you stumbled several times over what to talk to Enid and how Ellie would react if she saw you. There wasn’t a sign of her on the streets. Just before you walked into the bar, you took a deep breath and prayed that things would work out. Since you didn't know what kind of girl Enid is, you took a glance inside and looked from a distance before you checked all the girls who were close to your age, and when you turned your head to the left, you saw Tommy waving at you and making a come sign. You smiled and took your steps towards them. When you looked at the girl sitting next to Tommy and thought that she was a very beautiful girl but that she would never be able to take Ellie's place, it made you even more sad, but it was easier for you to shake it off because she held out her hand for you to shake her hand at that time and introduced herself. " Hi! “ she said affectionately. “ I'm Enid but you already know that and I'm guessing you're Y/N, right? “ Even though the girl had only just arrived here a few days ago, she seemed to have adjusted well. You nodded as you sat next to her and started talking.

   You got along with the girl better than you thought and you didn't even realize how time flew. Enid was such a witty girl and it was good for you since you had  been wandering around like a spirit and you were pretty sure everyone who saw you declared you the walking dead. But you didn't mind.

 While you continued your talk with Enid  and telling each other your funny moments, you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder and saw that it belonged to Enid. It was natural. Laughing people could be out of control and do things like that, but the prospect of Ellie seeing you made you shudder. You looked left and right to see if she was indeed here. And yes she was there. She was leaning against a table with a glass in her hand, trying not to look at you, but it was obvious that she was.

  Your gaze lingered on her for a moment, then ended when she turned her head the other way. As much as you wanted to go back to your conversation with Enid and laugh like you had for the last half hour, you couldn't. You never expected this to happen. Again.

 Enid realized there was something wrong, and again she put her hand on your arm and bent over you. “ Is something wrong? You look upset. “ You shook your head no and smiled for her to continue. Enid seemed very happy with her life at that moment and was trying to make you a partner in her happiness. You made a mental note to say thank you for her effort afterward and asked permission to go to get a drink.

   After asking the bartender for a drink, you sat in the bar chair until your drink was ready, put your head down and rested a bit. Of course, you didn't think that Ellie would come to you because since you knew her, she had been very stubborn but open to any apology. It made you very unhappy that you saw Ellie looking at you like that and didn't greet you or come and hug you. What did you expect? That you're going to do these things after all that's happened? But nothing was impossible. You lifted your head when you heard  noises coming from your side as your mouth formed an O shape. “Ellie…” She didn't even look at you. She just sat. You didn't even know when the drink was put in front of you.  You looked at her just like that. You were speechless again, although you had a lot to say to her, but you forgot all of them with the excitement of that moment.

  You didn't hesitate to look at her as if you were seeing her for the first time. It was the first time you had seen her this close in a long time. Her appearance had hardened, her childlike self almost gone. “ You're gonna keep lookin' or say something? “ Again, you just sat there without saying anything. This gravitational force between you was eating away at you. “ Well how about we go somewhere more private? Somewhere that your 'new' girlfriend can't finds us, " You wanted to tell her that Enid wasn't your new girlfriend, but at that moment you were scorched by the thought of being alone with her.

  She got off the chair and held out her hand. At that moment, you oscillated between holding it or not. What would you say to Enid? You'd have to tell her later why you left her. That didn't matter to you either. With trembling hands, you grabbed Ellie's hand with sweaty hands and let her tug at you. You didn't speak at all until you left the bar and went home.

 After opening the door of the house, she pushed you inside and quickly closed the door and then locked it. She walked towards you with the stature of a cheetah approaching its prey. You just waited because you deserved everything she'd do to you, everything she'd say to you. “ So this girlfriend of yours, she good? “ You shook your head no. Ellie was pleased, folded her hands behind her back and bent down, looking into your eyes. “ Your words, little one. Use 'em for me. “ “ No Ellie. She's not as good as you. “

 “Can she do that to you?” She suddenly put her hand on your lower side and pressed it. Because that was too much, you squirmed and pushed your hip against her hand. Against this, she pulled her hand away and threw you onto the bed. She climbed on top of you, pulled the dress from under you, and then your panties to the side and rubbed her middle finger into your hole.

 “ No one can satisfy you like me, babe. Seeing you with that girl made me so angry, I admit. But you know that you made me angry too, right? “ You shook your head and almost moaned for her to continue. She didn't withdraw his hand, but instead slowly inserted a finger into your hole and left it there until she painfully finished speaking. “ I didn't expect that to come from you, you know. I thought you're telling the truth because you were my girlfriend. “At once she withdrew her finger and put the second finger in the hole. She stuck them both in and did it slowly back and forth. “I'm sorry Ellie. “ Your throat was dry and you had to say something, and you finally did. She leaned down to your lips and finally pressed her lips to yours. “I know baby. I know. “ 

  Both getting offended and reconciling with Ellie were a separate problem, because your resentment had been an event, but your return was magnificent. That evening, Ellie took you to peaks you've never been before and took you on a journey through different dream worlds. You would have longed a lot for the honor of reuniting after a long time. She let you show her affection and apologized to her over and over again, and she accepted your apology, whispered words of love each time her lips was pressed against your lips.

Youngblood

    A/N- Hey ya’ll ! I don’t know If you like my smut fics so please send a feedback. You also can send me requests, don’t be shy <3 

    Warnings-  College!Ellie , Aggressive!Ellie, Dom!Ellie,  Reader is so new to alcohol because of her strict  parents, SMUT, violence, dirty talking. ( Let me know If I missed one )

    Request from- Anonymous 

    Summary- Unable to keep her head up from the lectures, reader reluctantly goes to the bar with Ellie, and after a fight in the bar, something unnoticed begins between them.

      imagine her looking at you across. This girl will be the end of me I swear- 

     Loud music coming from your dormmate's headphones was syncing with the clock on the table and your pen. . Normally you wouldn't be mad at Ellie making such a fuss because you discussed your terms before you were in the same room with each other, even though Ellie didn't even listen to half of what you said. Sometimes you thought you couldn't find a better roommate than her, but you were wrong about that too. You still had respect for each other. But lately, it was as if the old Ellie was gone and replaced by an even more aggressive Ellie.   Every girl could have times like this, and maybe she was doing this because she got very angry with someone in the enemy circle.

  You had a lot of assignment to finish due next week, and you wanted to finish it right away and take some time for yourself and lie on your feet like Ellie. You've never been as comfortable as Ellie because unlike you she never did her own homework, either asking you for help or, to be honest, making you do it. Frankly, she was conquering your heart with a kiss on the cheek, but sometimes you didn't give up on her so quickly.

  Like Ellie, you were very stressed at that time because you thought you couldn't finish your projects, and you couldn't find anything to relieve your stress.   If you tried to say something that would make Ellie even more angry, it would have ended even worse and your friendship might have ended. Ellie wasn't that friendly after all. She would do what’s best, and would not even listen to those who didn’t even make sense to her. Sometimes you couldn't stop questioning yourself. You were saying to yourself, “How did I end up with this girl? ” You could easily find a friend for yourself, but there was a truth that when you saw types like Ellie on the first day of college, all those books you read came to your mind and you said, “Maybe, maybe I can be friends with one of them, like those in the bad girl books “ Ellie was just that kind of girl. Okay, let's not exaggerate, but she looked like she was right out of those books. She was almost a bad girl with tattoos covering almost her entire arm, piercings on her lip and eyebrow, and her aggressiveness made her even more attractive.

  You exhaled sharply, tossed the pen onto the table, leaned back, and tucked your already frozen neck to the sides, cracking it. You push the wheelchair back with your foot and spin yourself towards Ellie. She didn't even care about you. She kept frowning, continuing to listen to the last sound of music. Even though you tried to get her attention by coughing fake once, she still didn’t take his earphones off and didn't even come back to you once.

 You stood up angrily and took off her earphones. She immediately turned towards you and nodded as to  say ‘what are you doing’ . “ We had an agreement, remember? “ Even though she tried to take the headset from you, you didn't allow it and you held it up. Ellie stood up and easily snatched the headset from your hand but you stopped her just as she was about to sit back down and put the headset back on. “Ellie. Are you even listening to me? Because it's obvious that you're not. “ In response, she rolled her eyes. "I'll get out of your hair, don't worry."

  “ What's that supposed to mean? “ She got up and went to her own closet, opened the door of it and searched for a suitable outfit. “ I'm goin' out with Dina and some friends. “ You gasped and cursed at her . “ And you're telling this to me NOW? Look, I've been trying to do my assignments and plus yours, please don't forget that, and you're telling me you're going out after I stress over how I'm gonna make it to due date. You're so annoying sometimes. “

  “What? Are you jealous because I don't go out with you? “ It wasn't even that.   The point was that you did your homework and the lady's homework while she was there playing music loudly . You didn't even understand why you agreed to that in the first place. “It's not even it, Ellie. I- “ “ Then stop being a nerd and come with us, babe. “ she said, interrupting, and slowly coming up to you and taking your hands in hers, but you pulled back. “How? If I don't do these things then my parents will hold my funeral. Only you know how strict they can be Ellie.”  Your parents met Ellie before you settled down in the dormitory and they somehow thought at that moment that she would be a good roommate, but now that If  you told them how Ellie had changed, they would have to rethink the same thing. Yes, and Ellie knew very well how strict parents they were, because every day before college started, they would come to you and ask how you were doing, move the furniture in your room and warn you not to meet bad people before they left. It wouldn't be called a very strict situation, actually, but if you were at home, you were sure that they would be even more strict.

 “ Fuck the assignments. Just have some fun. “ It didn't sound so bad when you thought about it, but you had a family that kept you from thinking about it. Ellie was right. You wouldn't lose a day and you could continue tomorrow.

  “ Fine… Just promise me we'll come back till midnight. I don't wanna carry you here and you know I can't. “ Ellie grinned. It was obvious that she was amused. However, she did not show it and started to look for clothes for herself. She turned her head back towards her right shoulder and looked at you sideways. 

    “ You know, you're so grumpy sometimes. Just like my old man. “

   You were very nervous when you left the dorm and when you looked at Ellie you saw that she was very relaxed unlike you. She was walking ahead of you with her hands in her front pockets. Of course she was comfortable because she was hanging around bars almost every night. You had a question mark in your mind. How could Ellie do all this so fearlessly? You made a mental note to ask this later.

  You arrived quickly as the bar wasn't that far from your dormitory and Dina was waiting right at the door. You didn't even realize it was almost evening until you walked there. It took you a long time to prepare. Dina immediately ran towards you and hugged you both with both of her arms. She had a big smile on her face.

  “Hey guys. Ellie, I thought you couldn't bring Y/N. She  will almost rot at her desk. “ You rolled your eyes at that and said playfully “ Yeah I will because you guys give every single assignment to me for me to do them. “

  Ellie laughed out loud and put her hand on your butt, squeezed it, and pulled it back. There was that mischievous expression on her face as you looked at her in surprise. “Well, she needed a change for a moment,” she said, laughing at Dina and pointing at the bar, “let's get inside, yeah? “

  When you walked in, that unfamiliar smell and sound would almost knock you out. You quickly caught up to Ellie and Dina and grabbed Ellie by her arm. She just grinned at you and went straight to get a drink. You just stood there looking at her feeling bad. Everyone passing by was bumping into you one by one.   When you looked around you felt as if everyone was laughing at you and thinking how dumb you were. Anxiety has never been this high. Suddenly, a strange arm grabbed your arm and pulled you aside to sit on a seat. When you looked at who it was, you saw that it was Jamie, your friend you studied in the same department.

 There was no lie. You had found Jamie very attractive and your hands and feet were almost tangled when you first met, but when you heard from those gossipy girls of the school that he changed lovers like changing socks, you started to feel a little cold towards him.

  As much as you didn't want to talk to her, you had no other choice as Ellie left you just at a time when you needed help the most. You sat down and started chatting but meanwhile you were looking everywhere but Jamie to see where Ellie was.

  At that moment, you realized too late how close he was to you when he was telling you something. He was leaning down to say something, but you weren't even listening to him. All you wanted was to take Ellie and get the fuck out of here.

   Thank God what silenced Jamie was that his friends came to him and sat next to you and him, but that didn't go well. You were stuck there and had no way out.   Even if you wanted to get up, you couldn't get up. His friends were trying to grope you from both sides, and their mouths stink. No matter how much Ellie drank, it wouldn't smell that bad. You hated yourself for comparing them to Ellie in that moment. Ellie was very different from them. Ellie was like no one else. She had always been like herself. You didn't know if it was because you needed her more at that moment or something else, but you realized that you missed Ellie.

  Then you saw Ellie right in front of you, coming towards with her drink in hand.  You tried to stand up again, but one of the dudes pulled you back. “Come on girl. Just sit and relax, will ya? “Ahh, he was sure to regret it later.

  Ellie suddenly threw her glass at one of the boys next to you, whose name you didn't even know. The broken glass on the boy's face had scratches all over his face and it was bleeding badly. You jumped forward to stop Ellie, but to no avail. She pushed you aside with all her might and swept straight towards Jamie with those deadly eyes. She swung his fist violently into his face.

  It was turmoil. While Dina wanted to break up the fight Ellie was showing, she turned to you and checked if you were okay. You didn't even say anything to her. You've been watching Ellie beat Jamie with your mouth open. It wasn't just you.

  Somehow, multiple people rescued Ellie from Jamie's collar and they took her outside with you. The guards were glaring behind you. You didn't care and ran to Ellie. When you took her hands in yours, you saw that her fists were covered in blood. “ Ellie.. You didn't have to do that. “ “ What are you talking about, Y/N?” said and pulled her hands away. “So instead of beating the shit out of him, should I just sit there and watch him hit on you? “ Ellie was extremely drunk. She couldn't even hold her head straight. You called a taxi that was passing by you and forced her into the taxi and you got in after her.

  Finding your keys in your bag was extremely difficult when you entered the dorm, but Ellie preceded you by pulling the bag out of your hand and spilling whatever was inside. “ What are you doing? “ “ What does it look like I'm doing? “ she hissed, “ I'm getting the fucking key. “ She bent down and picked up the key from the floor and entered your shared room without even picking up the stuff.

  You knew tonight was going to end like this. Of course, you didn't think the Jamie thing would happen, but you knew that Ellie would get so drunk that she couldn't stand.. You closed the door of your room without making a sound and threw yourself directly on the bed.

  After Ellie came out of the bathroom, she swayed in front of your bed and began to undress right in front of your eyes. You looked at her with your eyes half-closed, not knowing what to do. Even though you tried to take something out of her behavior today, you still didn't understand. What was even wrong with Ellie these days?

   She undressed herself until only her bra and panties left.. You thought she did that as she was going to sleep, but you were wrong. She came to the edge of your bed and pulled you by the arms quickly and lifted you up. Your stunned body tensed even more as she pulled you towards her. “What-” Ellie immediately caught your lips. She was sucking hard, tugging and kissing passionately. When she pulled back, she didn't say anything. She quickly took off the crop you were wearing and threw it somewhere else in the room. You tried to cover your body with your arms, but Ellie's hands interfered with it.

  “Hey, it's me. “ Then she quickly took off your pants. You stood there not knowing what to do. Why would Ellie do such a thing? She glanced up and down at you and bit her lip. “ Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful babe. “ She grabbed your arms and folded them behind you, threw you face down on the bed and gave you a hard smack on the butt. “ I wanted to smash that man there. Maybe I even wanted to kill him but it was all for you, babygirl. “  She whispered. She took off your panties and rubbed her hand up and down your clit. You squirmed involuntarily and a small groan escaped your mouth. Ellie was pleased with that. She grabbed you by the arms and pulled you closer to her and placed a small but juicy kiss under your ear.

  She turned you on your back and spread your legs to the side. Looking into your eyes, she licked each of her fingers one by one and grabbed your neck with one hand and squeezed it tight. “Look at me in the eyes, babe. These eyes you see will be the last eyes you saw but you will remember them for the rest of your life. Focus on my fingers, because now you will feel the presence of them around you. “ she said, inserting two fingers into your tight hole. There was pain, but Ellie's moaning turned you on even more.

  “Ellie please. “ you said, squirming. She bent over  and lifted your bra up with her teeth. She bent over them without having to remove the bra, while trying to keep your writhing body still, she began to suck and tug on each of your nipples one by one,slowly, as if time had stopped and you were the only one there. It was painful but also very sexy. Seeing Ellie like that started to feel more than just a friendship that you never knew existed for her before.

  Your climax was about to come and you were so tired of moaning, shouting in a low voice, squirming. “There you go baby. almost there. “ Ellie's words were enough to bring you to the climax. She immediately placed her third finger inside, without pulling the other two, and leaned close to your lips and kissed you passionately.

  You blinked and looked at her. How beautiful she looked when she fucked you. How well she could get you. You wanted more. More. “ Ellie more please. Oh God I can't. Fuck I'm cumming Ellie. “ You said and jerked into Ellie's fingers.

  After sticking her fingers out of you, she placed one last kiss, laid down beside you and fell asleep. You turned your already tired but also relaxed body to her and wrapped your arm around her waist.

  You took one last look at her before going to sleep, kissed her shoulder without disturbing, and fell asleep with the comfort of showing a little of your hidden, unspoken love.

I keep thinking of sweetheart!reader who keeps on getting ellie worked up and going insane just thinking about her, how you may ask? Just by smiling to her and giggling at her dad jokes. Both of you are dumb and dumber, and ellie is here for it all <3

Sweetheart!reader who has a whole bag full of emergency kits — that are filled with bandages that have hearts and bears on it that you collected from abandoned nurseries and other necessary stuff — and snacks and cute little weapons that joel says will not do justice when you are in an emergency and two sets of Nintendo switches just for funzies :3

Joel groaned as he felt a sharp nail press against his shoe, causing him to freeze at his place and sit down quietly before taking the shoe off and finding out that it poked his foot's skin to the point it's bleeding.

You quickly came to him and looked at him with your eyes widened, kneeling next to him and getting your emergency kit out while ellie stood by the door to guard you guys from any zombie. Pulling out the bear bandage since joel acts like one and putting it on the wound and patting joel's shoulder lightly, ignoring the fact that he's glaring at you offensively.

"There you go, all good now! Could you walk?" You ask while smiling widely, your dimples making it's presence known. Ellie turning around to see the bear bandage on joel's feet, holding her laugh with all the power that she has, visually shaking.

Joel groaned and sighed, "I'm fine, I could walk."

Later on that day, Ellie kept on calling Joel 'baba bear' which made Tom confused and curious to see why Joel was called that. And god, he joined Ellie in bullying Joel out; making Joel feel more humiliated than he ever did in his whole life.

Sweetheart!reader who straddles ellie's hips while she's lying down and doing her nails and make up, with ellie just looking you starstruck, her eyes turning into hearts as she sees you leaning closer to her body, feels the warmth of your thighs against her hips, craving that body contact of yours with hers.

You hum a song melody that you heard in the bar, tilting your head to the side as you leaned closer to ellie's face, focused on not missing up the thin coating of your cherry lip balm on her lips. Poor ellie, just getting more and more redder as you leaned closer, her hands pressed against on her bed's sheets like she was sewed on it.

"Ellie, could you put your hands on my hips so I dont fall, please?" You ask with your soft voice going through ellie's ears like an on-going melody.

"Mhm–"

She obeys you and lands her trembling hands on your waist, that you soon corrected and lowered them to your hips, freaking ellie out to the point if you look inside her mind you will see her braincells fighting every urge that has to do with you.

Sweetheart!reader who just a ball of sunshine walking around the town, smiling to everyone as if life was nothing but unicorn dust and cotton candy. But hey people in town quite of a fond with it, smiling back to you each time you pass by. You gave them hope of a new future and they loved it, but not ellie, cause she thought alot of creeps are not worth your gorgeous smile to be in their direction even, she would always put her hand on your mouth and snatch you to her with her arm on your shoulder, taking her words to heart.

You walked around with ellie, hands in hands as you waved to joel's friends on the street. Both of you were walking to the bar to have a drink as a prize for finishing 4 commissions in one day, ellie was okay with it until you turned your head to one of the guys that were rumored to be perverts. Pulling you to the other side so the guy doesn't look over at the skin your shorts were showing, and putting your hands down as you were about to wave to him. A dumb act out of you.

You looked up at her with your doe eyes, "Hey, I was–"

"Don't." She warned, "just not for him."

You giggled, tilting you head to the side, "you jealous?"

Ellie glared at you for a moment and closed her eyes, sighing as she nodded to you, "yes, very." Before leaning down and kissing your forehead.

All rights reserved to @stary-darlin , please do not copy, rewrite, translate my works on any other platform.

Requests: open <3

JUST HOLDING HER LIKE THAT, MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE TURNING BACK

— ex!ellie williams × reader

It's been 150 days since your last conversation with Ellie, which was an argument, unfortunately. none of you were pleased by the result of it, yet you two still decided to not talk, ignoring when your friends asked you about what happened or if you guys still have a connection with each other. you both were at fault.

And just like teenagers, you both would eye each other when you see each other in the club or anywhere honestly. luck wasn't at any of your sides, maybe because both of you were scardy cats that would die if you chatted with your ex that you still love? maybe.

Moral of the story: both of you became strangers, trying to forget your significant other's name each time you heard their name be called, your body letting out an electric shock each time your shoulders touched each other.

Ellie's friend, Dina knew damn well what was going on, and she was not surprised by so. since when you guys were friends – before confessing your love to each other – you both did the same thing. blushing when you would get close to each other like some teenagers, staying quiet when you sit next to each other. even though you both were pleading for each other's love, your eyes would say it all. As they say, eyes are the window of the soul, and it was indeed. but Dani knew she had to stop this period drama play of yours.

So she came up with a plan that would work on the dumbest couple in the whole world – aka you and Ellie if that's not visible – but needed others' help so she called Abby and Jesse.

SATURDAY, 23:08 PM

— Jesse: why are we doing this again?...

— Dina: to stop them from looking like sad puppies when they see each other

— Jesse: damn right lol

— Abby: so what are we going to do?

— Dina: okay so we will invite them to our party but separately, so they don't know that the other is coming.

— Jesse: okay...

— Abby: mhm

— Dina: and you both know that Ellie has a low tolerance for alcohol

— Abby: so she gets drunk and confesses to y/n? bet.

— Jesse: tbh, I feel like we will regret this...

— Dina: Shut up jesse, come in 30 minutes.

Dina called you, inviting you to the party as the plan says, and you agreed to a party freak like yourself. Dani nodded to the others and set up the living room with LED lights and party decorations, sipping on their fresh drinks when they were done as a prize for their hard work.

"Imagine if this doesn't work," Jesse spoke to himself, "I would die cause I have a test in like two days."

Both Abby and Dina glared at him like two eagles looking for their meal of the day which shut Jesse up. "as if you get good grades in 'em or study" abby replied to him before rolling her eyes and opening her phone, calling ellie with Jesse's stunned expression in the background.

When you arrived to dina's apartment, abby was done with inviting ellie with force because ellie said she didnt feel good a.k.a felt depressed after the break up that was five months ago, i mean come on ellie is sad cause she lost her ultimate sweetheart, her sweet soulmate.

You parted with all three like there was no tomorrow, all of you hugging with your arms on your shoulders while jumping around with your glasses in hand. dani and abby looked at each other, finding it weird that abby didn't come till now and it was already 20 minutes after ending the call. jesse couldn't even care, he was having the time of his life dancing with you and drinking shots of vodka, letting the burning effect of the alcohol burn down his throat.

"Where is ellie?" dina whispered to abby while pretending to dance, "didn't you call her like 20 minutes ago?"

Abby looked down at her phone and nodded, "yes, she said she will come after 10 minutes."

Dina groaned and took a shot before taking her phone and calling ellie. ellie answered quickly, pretending to cough and making the excuse that she's sick, letting dina pull out plan B.

"Don't you want to get back with your darling sweetheart?" she whispered angrily to the phone, forcing a smile and raising her glass when you smile to her. ellie then all of a sudden ellie was no longer sick, "wait, what? you have her with you? oh my god, thank you, thank you." 

"Just come fucking here before she passes out from all the drinks shes taking–" she hung up and ellie jumped off her bed like super mario, putting on the sexiest silk black blouse on herself, was it because she was going to re-marry you today? yes, actually, she daydreamed of being your husband with the confidence of a greek god.

As you went to the bathroom, you heard loud banging that you later on ignored when Dina opened the door. you fix your lipstick, apply another coat on your lips before adding lip balm on for a little glossy look, looking at your face for a last time before opening the door and walking back to the living room, the loud music muffling the sounds of the chatter and laughter as you tilted your head to the side and took another glass that was on the kitchen's pantry with the other snacks, noticing a hand take the last glass right in front of you, trapping you on the side of the pantry. turning around you saw Ellie with that black blouse that was perfect with her biceps and her skin color, looking at her with widened expressions, both of you keeping eye contact for a moment before you walked away with the glass in hand.

Ellie turned around, her eyes following your figure, watching the way your jeans skirt moved on your hips with each step you took and the tight crop top with graphics on it, showing your torso and body to her, causing Ellie's mouth to water for a second. remembering she has to act sexy and cool to attract you back, she put down the glass and took a shot of vodka that was soon mixed with other rough heavy alcohol drink.

She watched you in the corner of everywhere, admiring your beauty that was in its most divine shapes; looking like a painting that was waiting for her to start painting to complete it, and she does admit you both complete each other and that's what she loved about you. she didn't have to work hard for anything cause she knew you were worth all her time, she was willing to be the mark to your Cleopatra with every fiber in her body.

She held her chuckle and smile when she watched you almost trip on the couch's leg, seems like the alcohol was working indeed. and her clumsy little sweetheart just keeping on tripping over and over again before letting out a tiny burp, she knew it was her show time. So she walked to you with her hands in her pants, "hey, you good, babe?" she whispered against your ear, causing you to flinch and look back at her, your eyes closing and opening lazily.

"Yeah, you are not, are you? come, should we go to the guest room?" she took your hand with her arm around your waist, her hand grasping your waist with slight grip. her braincells laughing and giggling at being able to feel you again. "come, let's go."

She walked you to the guest room that was away from everyone, chuckling to herself as she saw you with your gaze still on her looking like a total deer in the headlights. "stop looking at me like that, babe." she tilting her head to the side as she slide you into her other arm to close the door behind her.

"Woah–" you replied to her with your lips curled into an 'O' shape, your eyes turning into hearts as you stared at the two unbottoned buttons that gave you the view of her fair skin, making your cheeks redden. ellie hummed and looked at where you stared at her before letting out a laughter and looking back at you, her eyes narrowed into a curve with her lips, her smirk causing you to let out random babbles.

"Uh-huh, baby?" ellie played along as she placed the back of her hand against the side of your cheek, screaming internally as she felt the warmth of your soft cheeks that were caused by the alcohol. "u–...uh-huh" you shuttered as you nodded with nothing but pure emptiness in your head.

"You're so fucking cute, god." she groaned as she leaned in, taking your lips against yours, savoring every second of it. her hands cupping your face to the back of your ears – with ellie deepening the kiss – her tongue sliding against your parted lips, tasting your cherry lip balm causing her to groan once more. leaning back to let you get your breath, your face flushed with your lipstick smudged, turning on ellie even more.

You whimper softly while opening your eyes lazily, leaning your head closer to her face, and putting your palm on her collarbone, tip-toeing your way to the top to take another kiss, whimpering once more as she backs away playfully. "Do you even know what you're doing right now?"

"Uh-huh..." you nodded before tip-toeing again to kiss her, causing her to lean back before your lips meet hers, "let me–" you pout as you try one again, only repeating the same loop over and over again until you got tired to the point you started tearing up. Head down and bottom lip forward into a sad pout. "No, baby. Don't cry, I'm sorry." Ellie quickly lifted you head see your face, wiping the tears away with her hand cupping your face to only see that it was all an act. "Are you actin–" you cut her off by kissing her but this time you were the one in lead, tip-toeing on her shoe as you pressed your body against her, one of your arms on the beginning of her back and the other on the back of her head. Letting out a soft gasp as she bites your bottom lip, pouting as the shining pain continues when she continues kissing you.

Your intimate moment speaking words as much as your actions did, ellie leaded you to the bed while not letting go of your lips as if she wanted to get a new record on kissing you for the longest time.

"Ellie–" you gasped once more, hands on her shoulders as you pulled away from the kiss for a little mini break, all of that kissing sobering you up. "You–...we shouldn't do this."

Ellie frowned and took your hand to her chest where the heart, "you love me still, don't you?" You nodded with a pout, "and I love you so that means nothing is wrong with it. Now come here–" she took your lips against hers before you pulled away again.

"But we broke up" you spoke as you gazed up at her, "okay and? It was a heated argument, baby. We both couldn't live without each other." You looked over at her eyes, the shine in them like the one when she confessed to you; real and true.

"Look, I'm sorry for raising my voice. I regretted it since then and didn't know how to make up for it, I'm really, really sorry. I loved you since the first day I saw you, and the same love for you is still with me, I love you with every energy to my soul." She confessed while keeping her tilted head beside yours, her hand on your jaw with the other on the other side of your hips, pinning you to the bed. You let out a soft whine of her name as you pouted, tears in your eyes as you kissed her once again but this time it was heated and full of regret and hope for the upcoming, ellie let out a groan and leaned closer, cupping your throat with one hand, her thumb pressing gently on it.

"You don't know how much I missed you, missed this." She murmured against your lips before continuing to kiss you, parting your lips with her tongue which caused you to let out a soft moan as you lay down on the bed with ellie on top, following you.

As the situation got more heated, Jesse walked past the room to go to the bathroom since abby was in the other one and heard muffled moans and gasps, his face reddened as soon as he knew what you and ellie are doing. Dina followed him to ask him about what music to play next and heard the noises too, her expression freezing as she looked at the door.

"I told you we will soon regret this..." Jesse whispered to her while pressing his lips together into a straight line. "L-let's just...uhm go." Dina's voice softly appeared since the next song came up, both her and Jesse walked back to the living room, their faces traumatized as if they were kids who noticed their parents have sex. Abby came out of the bathroom and stood infront of them.

"Is everything okay?" She asked while taking a glass and taking a sip.

"N-no, no. Nothing's okay– I mean everything is okay." Jesse mumbled while staring at the floor like an insane person in the asylum.

"Why do you guys look like that then?–" she asked while raising a brow, confused. God replying to her by himself as soon as she says that. The music lowered down by siri with a combination of muffled moans that were now louder and bed-creaking noises. "Oh." She shut her mouth so quick, "well atleast they are together right and having fun?" She tried to comfort their brains that was traumatized in a second.

"Yeah..." both of dina and Jesse replied back.

​All rights reserved to @stary-darlin , please do not copy, rewrite, translate my works on any other platform.

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