Ffxiv Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

ffxiv characters as bdg quotes

the WoL using a phial of phantasia: I’m not your friend, and you have no say over what I do with my body

Alphinaud: the gods have cursed my for my hubris, and my work is never finished

ascians (or Zenos tbh): you do have to fail once, uh, in order to succeed later as a villain

WoL when exposition is happening: I don’t give, two sh/ts, about a king, who lost a war, 700 years ago! *snoring noises* *big kick* get outta here!

all of the scions: “and when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.” But that’s chocobo sh/t. Look, I love what I do, and let me tell you... I’ve worked some days

WoL diving into every dangerous situation: I couldn’t give a sh/t about death

playing through each expansion: and then there’s another existential crisis, but this is my favorite one

Yda/Lyse: a major himbo with a “nice jock” energy

WoL: you can tell it’s a new season expansion because i’ve grown a mustache and cut my hair

the scions going off to do research between patches: and if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do my dark bidding on these spreadsheets also: who has the time to read all those books? I DO. APPARENTLY.

WoL when they get to make decisions: I don’t feel qualified to discuss the philosophical implications of that. *nods nervously*

Alphinaud in ARR: Hi, I’m Alphinaud Leveilleur, Safety Fan and Bureaucratic Wunderkind. Please address me as such.

looking at all the lore behind everything:  "My first reaction was, 'wow.' To write 300,000 words that could essentially be skipped over while still having the full Skyrim FFXIV experience, it's amazing...My second reaction to this, was WHAT THE FUCK. HEY TODD, WHAT THE FUCK?"

(Tameri is my WoL ok back to the show) Someone: hey, are you ok?

Alisae, on the verge of tears: of course, what are you talking about i’m fine i’m not crying yOU’RE CRYING Alphinaud, also tearing up: y’know, i’m really not (can i please have a hug) Tameri: *eyes grow wide* THAT’S a loaded question

some incorrect ffxiv quotes

(also me exposing my ships but you can ignore those)

Tameri: you've got to learn to love yourself Any sad NPC: but don't you hate yourself Tameri: yeah but this is about you. stay focused Tameri: You're violent. Alisae: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable Alphinaud: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers. Alisae: That sounds like a challenge. Alphinaud: I have to stress, that is not a challenge. Alisae: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted! Alphinaud: There is no challenge! Alisae: Hey Tameri, what’re you looking for? Tameri: My will to live. *G'raha/Alphinaud walks into the room* Tameri: Oh, there it is. Anyone: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. Alphinaud, eyes wide: I know what I saw. Tameri: I’m in love with you. Alphinaud: We called off the prank war last night at midnight. Tameri: I know. Alphinaud: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool- Alphinaud: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Tameri: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations. Alphinaud: Wow, Tameri, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Tameri: We literally slept together yesterday. Alphinaud: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands. Tameri: Well, Alphinaud and I finally did it! The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.* Tameri: That's right... We kissed! Tameri: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Alphinaud: The dishes. Tameri: Wh- Alphinaud: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times. Tameri: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Alphinaud: Aren't you forgetting something? Tameri: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Alphinaud's forehead before running out.* Alphinaud: No, your weapon! Wh- who raised you? Alphinaud: I went down to my local creperie, 'cause every has one of those Alisae: *scoff* "my local creperie"

ascians: a little murder never hurt anyone

scions: except for the victims!

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rando: is wol good?

alphinaud: how so?

alphinaud: they're a good person but like emotionally? never

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wol waking up after mt gulg incident: good FUCK everyone, i'm awake

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alisae: crimes

alphinaud: gay crimes?

alisae: gay crimes

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alphinaud: i don't think that's a skill

wol, levelling: anything can be a skill if you break enough stuff

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wol: Oh btw I borrowed some of your books to keep myself busy

g'raha: *turns bright red and wishes he could sink into the ground*

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alisae, about alphinaud: While he's very intelligent and also a big help most of the time, he can also be quite. um. yea 3

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wol: Through case by case basis and also experience I've concluded the result of my experiment

g'raha: and that is?

wol: I'm immortal.

alphinaud: wait whats your ... evidence here?

wol: well. I haven't died yet, as you can see

------------------------

alphinaud: So remember how I said it was a very bad idea for me to read more than one book at once because i’m liable to mix the characters up, but I was still reading 3 books?

wol: Yeah

alphinaud: So I finished one of those

wol: Yay!

alphinaud: And then I started 5 more

wol: Oh gods

Alphinaud and Alisaie trying to be chill while explaining what happened in the meeting with Fourchenault: And our father said to us ‘you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair’

the scions @ sharlayan

This guy (zenos and fandaniel) being the president biggest current threat, it’s like there’s a horse loose in the hospital. I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what happens next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a horse loose in the hospital.

more ffxiv incorrect quotes

WoL: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

WoL (probably using 20+ fantasias a month): My gender is in a constant state of flux.

Alisaie: I’m 80% awesome, 20% water and 100% gorgeous. Alphinaud: That’s 200%. Alisaie: I’m twice the person you’ll ever be.

Ryne: *eating a cinnamon roll* Thancred: Cannibalism. Ryne: *confused chewing noises*

Alphinaud: But what about WoL? Thancred: Don't worry about them. Thancred: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

*The scion’s individual reactions to being told they're the chosen one* Alphinaud: I will not let you down. Alisaie: Sounds fun. Y’shtola: K. Thancred: No, I'm fucking not. Estinien: Do I have to be? WoL: Please god, I am so tired.

Estinien, new to the scions: That sounds like a terrible plan. Thancred, used to this shit: Oh, we've had worse.

Estinien: *is wearing silk pants for, uh, reasons ig* How does this look? Alphinaud: Like its slips on and off really easily. Estinien: Alphinaud: No, I didn't mean it like that- Alisaie: We know what you meant.

Estinien: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka. Estinien: *upends the bottle*

Alisaie: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. WoL, a dumbass: The cow?? Alisaie: What? Alphinaud: WoL, W H Y?

Alisaie: We need an adult! Alphinaud: Alisaie, you are an adult! Alisaie: We need an adultier adult! Get WoL!

WoL: What are amphetamines? Alisaie: Drugs that can go on land and water. WoL: Ohhhh.

WoL: *holds a gun out to Alphinaud* Alphinaud: I-I don't believe in guns. WoL: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Alphinaud: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts! WoL: Eyy, that’s the spirit! Alphinaud: *gasps* whErE???!!!??

Allagan Node: Please enter a password. WoL: uhh... *types in Alphinaud* Allagan Node: Your password is too weak. WoL, knowing that Alphinaud thinks he’s weak: How fucking DARE YOU-

FFXIV: You gain power from dragon eyes and your lb3 is literally the dragon inside you.

Nero: So I'm fucking a dragon basically.

FFXIV: No....

Nero: Why'd you allow me to name my set Dragon Fucker?

FFXIV: ........

Nero: Boom!

Alisaie: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

WoL, about their mental health: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

WoL: Are you a cuddler? Alisaie: I'm a machine of death and destruction. WoL: Alisaie: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

Alphinaud: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do. (young) WoL: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Alisaie: I'm with you there... Thancred: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Ephemie, watching: Three types of people.

Alphinaud: Alisaie, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? Alisaie: No, it’s mine. Alphinaud: It... looks just like the one I have... Alisaie: You don’t have one like this anymore.

Alphinaud: *gets a text linkshell call* Oh! It’s WoL. Alisaie, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Alphinaud: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Alisaie: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Alphinaud: You wanted fake blood? Alisaie: Alphinaud: I’ll go call WoL.

Alphinaud: Tomorrow's garbage day. Alisaie: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

Zenos: What’s up? I’m back. WoL: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Zenos: Death is a social construct.

Alphinaud: I'm very scary. WoL: You're about as scary as a wet kitten. Alphinaud: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me. WoL: And small. Alphinaud: Alphinaud: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

Zenos: Something’s off. WoL: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people. Zenos: No, but that’s funny.

Alphinaud: I am going to need you to swear- WoL: Fuck. Alphinaud: Alphinaud: ...swear as in promise

F'lhaminn: Hey Thancred, do you have any hobbies? Thancred: Swimming.. F'lhaminn: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to- Thancred: In a pool of self hatred and regret

WoL: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Urianger: Why not? WoL: Because I don't know what they mean

Alisaie: Alphinaud and WoL have taught me to think before I act. Alisaie: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Alphinaud: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me! Krile: Oh-? Even more humiliating than- Alphinaud: We are not doing this!

This is basically heavensward, right?

Haurchefaunt: they call me coffee because I grind so fine Ysayle: oh gods Aymeric: they call me coffee because I keep you up past 2 am Ysayle: Aymeric, not you, too Estinien: they call me coffee- Ysayle: please no Estinien: -because I'm dark and bitter and most people don't like me without changing some aspect of who I am Ysayle: oh.

Minfilia: WoL, another primal has been summoned!

WoL, just waking up: like, how big is the fucking primal

Minfilia: big

WoL: *starts standing up* okay-

Even more ffxiv incorrect quotes because apparently I can't stop

WoL: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing Not knowing which dialogue choice is correct: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly." Estinien: I have met the most insufferable people. But they have also met me. Moren: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away. G'raha: What makes you say that? Moren: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it? G'raha: Moren... You don't have a clue about this thing, do you? Moren: *screams in anger* Machinist WoL: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun. Zenos: My ultimate goal is to punch the gods and WoL in the eye, just to spite them one last time. Alphinaud: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight. WoL, doing the msq: Actually, Alphinaud, after all these years, I just sort of go with it. Zenos: WoL, my old friend! WoL: I think you tried to kill me at some point. Zenos: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you. WoL: *sees two people doing something stupid* WoL: What a couple idiots. WoL: *realizes it's Alphinaud and Alisaie* WoL: Wait, those are MY idiots!

Thancred: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol WoL, surrounded by archons: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on. Person: What is wrong with you? WoL: Loaded question. Elaborate. Urianger: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Alisaie: ... Urianger: Oh, right. The lying.

more ffxiv incorrect quotes *endwalker spoilers, kinda*

Like, none of this will make sense if you haven’t play ew, or at least shb I cannot be stopped (ancients trio edition)

Emet-Selch: You know what I learned from my friendship with Azem? Alisaie: There’s no such thing as too mean? Thancred: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them? WoL, who was Azem: Always hold a grudge?

Azem: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here. Emet-Selch: Hythlodaeus is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Azem. Hythlodaeus: I feel like Azem is the more responsible one of us two though. Azem: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control. Hythlodaeus: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Azem: Go big or go home! Emet-Selch: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home. Azem: I'm going big!

*Emet-Selch and Azem looking at a locked gate into a park* Emet-Selch: Aw. :( Azem: You know what they say. Emet-Selch: Please don’t- Azem: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate* Emet-Selch: Fuck-

Hythlodaeus: I'll offer you some friendly advice- Emet-Selch: I don't want your advice. Hythlodaeus: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Azem: *pulls back the curtain while Emet-Selch is showering* Azem: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Hythlodaeus: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons! Azem: Bet you I can! Emet-Selch: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

Emet-Selch: *dangles hand off bed* Azem, under the bed: *grabs hand* Emet-Selch: This is nice :) Emet-Selch: Wait, why the fuck are you under my bed-

more ffxiv incorrect quotes

oh uh yeah spoilers, I guess

Alisaie: I just remembered this time I was telling a story to Alphinaud and it was clear he wasn't listening to me so I started making up this huge, gruesome story about a cult murder I'd witnessed while he sat there nodding along to my dramatic moral struggle about whether or not I should come forward. It was then I looked up to see the table next to us looked utterly horrified and long story short, that's why I should remember that other people have ears.

WoL: Shh, here comes Y'shtola! Alisae: Quick, Alphinaud, start talking about boring nerd stuff Alphinaud: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. Alisaie: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

Alphinaud: When you've been a diplomat for as long as I have, you develop thick skin. Estinien: Navy blue isn't your color. Alphinaud: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *chases after Estinien*

Ysayle: Hopefully Estinien has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings. Estinien: Oh, shut up and die Iceheart.

WoL: Manga lied to me. I never see bad boy types protecting stray kittens therefore revealing to me their soft side WoL: its always me picking up the cats WoL: maybe I'm the bad boy

Thancred: *shatters a window and climbs through it* Thancred: *turns around and helps Ryne through it* Breaking and entering is wrong, Ryne. Ryne: Okay.

WoL: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch. Estinien: What changed your mind? WoL: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

WoL: What's gone wrong, Alisaie? Alisaie: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. WoL: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? Alisaie: Well... There’s a crisis.

Zenos: Hi- Alisaie: Leave before there's a terrible misunderstanding between my foot and your arse.

Estinien, trying to comfort anyone: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

Sir: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. WoL: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Estinien: Everyone knows that the Saint of Nymeia is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public. Alisaie: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?

Alphinaud, post-ARR: *sighs* I have no friends... Tataru: Tataru: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

G'raha: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it? Alisaie, looking at G'raha: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful? G'raha and Alisaie in unison: *sighs* WoL