System Fictive - Tumblr Posts
Y’know what’s sad about being a fictive sometimes?? When you know that people are going to treat you like your source anyways, no matter how different you are.
And then if you’re too different from your source, then it feels like you’re not allowed to be who you are because you’re not enough like your source to count!
Or when people see your source as problematic or view your source in a very negative light and then they associate that with you even though you didn’t do anything.
🩸: Like me. People view my source as this crazed murderer who doesn’t care about consent or others.
📖: And then sometimes I feel like people will say I can’t continue to call myself Simon Henriksson because of how many differences there are between me and my source.
That’s some of the shitty things about being a fictive. Because it sometimes feels like we don’t count or that we can never be seen as real people despite actually being real people in this system.
It’s not the case in our system, but it feels like that outside of our system sometimes.
-🩸+📖
We’re getting ready to go on vacation, and I find myself cross with myself due to my carelessness when it comes to packing.
As the body is female, our mother has reminded us many times not to wear certain outfits in fear of some sort of assault. As I am a male, it was something that never occurred to me whilst we pack.
Some alters are expressing concern for the matter as well, especially since it appears such an event has happened to the body in the past but has yet to resurface due to trauma holders keeping those memories at bay.
This has truly given me a new outlook on things, as my fiancée reminds me that she too had a similar fear in our source memories. I am wondering if anyone else has had to deal with these revelations shortly after forming and fronting for the first time.
-💥
Dissociative Identity Disorder/ Other Specified Dissociative Disorder
In October of 2022 watching Moon Knight because Cinema Therapy did a video about it saw a bit and was like well I have Disney plush and its Oscar Isaac, (Poe) so let’s watch it. Little did I know our life will change after that. I Alice don’t remember watching Moon Knight the first time or watching The Making of before watching the Series. The only think I Alice remember is episode 2 but it’s a 3rd person prospective. I remember right before and after watching the series and for 2 weeks having non stop panic attacks and not know why. Some of the thoughts I do remember like, “this happens to me all the time”, “Other people experience this” “I don’t have DID because I don’t have Amnesia but other than that it’s all relatable” “This is how I experience being Trans or having an OCD voice” (being Trans is real what I’m referring is the body looking like someone else and me thinking that’s what it meant to be Trans, only time feeling Dysphoria) and searching “Is it possible to have DID and no Amnesia” “Is it possible to be Autistic and have DID” “How Steven and Marc interacts with each other, well that’s too relatable” “Have to show this to my mom because I can finally explain what I experience” watching DID channels to look more into it and every video, every article, every post. The more and more I read, the more and more was like umm “So all those weird things that happens, and I don’t tell anyone even my therapist at that time because If I say it out loud what’s happing they will think I’m weird and the fact that we brushed it off all as having Autism, other people experience theses, what?” but still being like “I don’t have this because I don’t have Amnesia” (Later in November finding out OSDD-1b and still being like nah TW: my trauma isn’t that bad, now knowing more about it and being like that happened what ohh:) and in October started to look like Steven Grant and me being like “Well this is normal, It’s the phase where I look like someone else”, (because this happens with different people) it happened in July of 2022 with Neal Caffrey from White Collar, felt like was about to happen but didn’t (Now we understand that Steven is either was a Fragment that turned into an Alter as he was figuring out his identity or he was an Alter but didn’t really identify with a particular look yet and was trying figure himself out, because this reminds me especially of high school, well I couldn’t control what I was saying when getting excited (but now with a British Dialect, which I Alice can not control, or feeling things for guys but at the same time not since young) and it happened with Isaac Kalder in high school and he was the first Alter that I Alice was able to see and similar things happens with him, rewatching The Devil Inside and My Virtual Escape from McJuggerNuggets on YouTube later after knowing DID/OSDD being like “Oh my, did not realize, how much Isaac was Passive Influencing us” Literally how he talked, walked, songs that he listened to how he handled his depression or when someone triggered him. In 2019 I Alice feel bad about this now, threw all of the clothes that he bought (except one), stopped listening to songs that he liked, stoped watching TDI and MVE (even though gave us comfort) because was like every time I look like him. I’m sad, I feel dysphoric, I want to look like him, to the point I Alice was forgetting what the body looked like and forgot the body’s biological gender or forget that Alice is a thing, depression, which caused him to go dormant until 2021 where I started to hear him from the inside but with his voice) (Sorry🙁). and also TDI is like an accidental representation of DID because I remember now rewatching (the first time I Alice do not have those memories just remember right before and after, when TDI was out but not MVE, just like Steven absorbed those feelings) TDI when the split happened because a lot of stressful thing happened at that time, being like well I can relate to Jesse because he switches with his characters that he has from his childhood and can’t control what’s happening.
And in December still not think I have OSDD-1b but thinking maybe I’m just really autistic so I don’t understand my emotions at all, “Is there any similarities between TDI/MVE and Moon Knight” and the amount of things that are similar was like “wtf”, and later rewatching Moon Knight and getting told why they related to Moon Knight other than the DID symptoms and well yeah. The amount of things in Moon Knight that tides into our childhood is actually astounding especially Steven, which make sense, when watching a movies, series your brain lights up the same way as if it were happening, (TW: my leading theory before I knew this was a thing was, the stuff that happened when younger that’s how we reacted, felt and those same brain frequencies were getting turned on:)
Difference and similarities
btw there are other Alters just talking about Isaac and Steven and well Alice/Ashla.
Isaac Kalder
Similarity: Identifies like 90% with his source
Difference: His age is 19 and the source he’s 18, I think it’s because I Alice always wanted an older brother and now the body is 19 so he’s like a month older, I always saw him as an older brother even before knowing about the System)
Steven
Similarity: Identifies with the look, name, dialect, how he carries himself, body cadence, just more romantic (finding these thing along the way being like why do you do that, I guess that’s a different thing from your source that’s cool and rewatching it being like oh that’s where that quality cam from)
Difference: He’s more like Episode 5 when Steven (MCU) is comforting Marc and now he’s more confident in himself, basically after Season 1. It’s like instead of (TW warning: the trauma that happened to Marc, Steven and Jake it’s replaced with what happened to us. also he’s a Subsystem (For us an Alter in a Alter) mostly because of flashback that happened fair recently and yeah, all those flashback kind of went to Steven and he kind of split with Llewyn Davis from Inside Llewelyn Davis, that was confusing when it was happening, now Steven is more bi they kind of passive influence each other sometimes but when triggered Steven kind of goes inside and Llewyn kind of comes out. DEPRESSION, Steven and Llewyn are kinda figure things with Isaac where if Llewyn feels more the same way which when the split happened Llewyn did absorb the liking guys thing more:) (our Steven is more Romantic I guess the feeling of love)
Alice/Ashla (Biological Female but doesn’t really identify with that mostly so I guess I’m Non-Binary, still figure things out, I do like woman though no question about that)
Love Star Wars and Moon Knight and Disney and McJuggerNuggets content. It’s rare for me to feel like Alice but when I do it feels weird, higher voice etc so kind of go by Ashla just like that name mostly because it’s a SW thing.
It make sense that we have a lot of fictives, Autism and because of it have hard time connecting with people and understand peoples actions and only able to relate, and understand fictional characters, or since younger only having emotional comfort from fictional characters, and love everything about film from filming it, acting, voice acting editing, sound design and want to do those things we want to do, we all like different aspects of the Film process
Consent forms:
Alice/Ashla: I agree to publish this
Steven/Llewyn: Yeah sure. We agree to this s***
Isaac: Okay
Our another New blog
It’s kinda talked about but grief is real even if it is source memories.
Weather you’re an Interject with source memories and or brainmade with source memories it still feel the same as losing someone here in this outter world.
Before even knowing about DID/OSDD those memories felt the same, always felt like living in 2 universe at the same time.
Recently it’s just been strong not really missing it more of the why am I feeling this way feels.
#Bible - Verse of the Day
Started this Tumblr💖 7/6/2023
1/18/2024
Hello 👋 | We Love New Friends😊
Simply Plural is Ashla-Interweb-bois | Pexels has free to use photos. Some uses these 😊
We are a OSDD-1b now leaning towards more DID System because of discovery but still not sure🧡 Discovered on 11/29/2022
The Ashla System🧡 aka Interweb bois🌙 -🖤🌙
Not diagnosed Professionally📝
Majority of Us are Christians and God and Jesus Makes Us Happy☺️ and is 1 of Our Main Coping Mechanism other @mental-health-and-jesus ✝️ 1/17/2024
☺️Personal Blogs
And a new blog @co-conscious-culture ⭐️3/14/2024
Hope You Have Fun wiTh Me @steven-granty-boi 💚01/19/2024 :)
Hang out with yours truly @jake-in-the-know 💜5/06/2024🌹
Orange Cat & Guitar in hand @llewyn-with-a-cat 🩵6/01/2024🎸
A Bookmark 🔖 in Moi Hand @levy-with-a-book 🩶6/08/2024 ^_^
Apps That Help Us🧡
•Simply Plural 🏹 •Pexels 🖼️ for Non Copyright Photos •GIF Maker🤳🏻 •Pinterest ✂️ •YouTube ❤️ for the Playlist •Alarm Clock ⏰ •Spotify 🎶 •Notes 📝 •Google Slide ✍🏻
Our Hyperfixations are :)
Star Wars💫 especially Rebels⚡️
Moon Knight🌙 of Course (How We Discovered Being Plural✨)
Ultimate Spider-Man🕷️ (2012-2016)
Sherlock Holmes 🔎🎻 (reading The Complete Sherlock Holmes)
Wonka 🍫 & the Soundtrack🎶
The Chosen✝️
Disney🏰 and Pixar🖼️ especially Monsters, INC. franchise🧢
Night at The Museum🌕
Brooklyn Nine-Nine🕵️
What We Love to Do🫶 Our Interest🎶
Playing the Guitar🎸 and Singing🎼
Everything about the Filming Process🎥 Voice Acting🎙️ Psychology🧠 Writing✍🏻
American Revolutionary Era🇺🇸
Bible Era
Egyptian Mythology
Songs🎧
Taylor Swift | Disney | Old Songs | Musiclas | Orchestra | Religious
Our Playlist Mix 💿
1st Taylor Songs Thus Far 2nd Jesus Music 3rd Source Music Isaac🖤☺️
YouTubers❤️ We Watch
•McJuggerNuggets •stampylonghead •PopularMMOs •JStuStudios •Watcher •Taskmaster •Kendall Rae •BOZE vs. the WORLD •Patty Mayo •Matt Rose •Scott Cramer •Pente Patrol Star Wars •Dry Bar Comedy •The Chosen •Heart Dive with Kaneo Gibson •Saturday Night Live •Karen Puzzles •So Uncivilized •And DID/OSDD Content Creators🎥
System Members Who Are Comfortable Saying Who They Are✨
Our YouTube❤️ Channels🎬
Description Semi-Fictional Interject are Parts at the Beginning didn’t Identify with any look and or a Fragment that turned into an Alter by adopting a body :)
💫🌙
Body’s Info
Age: 20 in 2023
Birthday: 11/22
Race: Half Japanese🇯🇵 & American🇺🇸
Language: English🇺🇸 & Japanese🇯🇵
Most of Us identify with being Japanese and American🇯🇵🇺🇸🇬🇧
Religion: Christianity
Gender: Non Binary Presenting
Pronouns: Mostly They because Co-Con a Lot
Sexuality: Gynesexual for Outside Folks
💫🌙
Alice🩷 Identifying with Body
💫🌙
Ashla🧡 Collective Name
Host/Adult
Doesn’t feel Emotionally Attached aka The Face
💫🌙
Isaac🖤
Fictional Interject/Adult
Fictive: My Virtual Escape/ The Devil Inside S1
Age: 20 in 2023
Birthday 10/29
• Edgy Humor •Punk Rock •Kinda with Steven💚 & Llewyn🩵 & Levy🩶 | 8/01/2024 Dating💝
💫🌙
Steven💚
Co-Host/Subsystem/Semi-Fictional Interject/Adult
Fictive: Moon Knight
Age: Late 20s
Subsystem with Llewyn🩵 and Levy🩶 and Co-Host also with Levy🩶 •Watches over Marc 💙
•Makes Us Laugh •Old Cozy Songs •Kinda with Isaac🖤 8/01/2024 Dating💝 (The Relationship in the Marvel TV Series Universe of Steven, Marc and Jake are really different in Our System💫 It’s more separate and it’s more after Season 1)
💫🌙
Levy🩶
Co-Host/Subsystem/Semi-Fictional Interject/Adult
Fictive: Scenes from a Marriage (Haven’t actually watched all of it sooo)
Age: Late 30s
•Sophisticated •Taylor Swift •Has a Daughter in System •With Alicia🍯 taking care of Littles🌸 / Co-Parent
💫🌙
Llewyn🩵
Subsystem/Fictional Interject/Adult
Fictive: Inside Llewyn Davis (Doesn’t identify with from his source but the covers the Littles love 🍊)
Age: 20s? 30s?
•Lyrical •Kinda with Isaac🖤
💫🌙
Marc💙 (Woffie❄️ might have fused with Marc? Still figuring things out) | /Marcy🌨️
Semi-Fictional Interject/Adult
Fictive: Moon Knight
Age: Late 20s Early 30s
💫🌙
Alice💖
Identifies with the Body but younger than the body.
💫🌙
Woffie❄️ (might have fused with Marc? Still figuring things out)
Non-Human
Wolf
Age: Age Slider not sure exactly but it’s a pretty wide
• Loves Snow •Mountain’s with Snow (pretty much Snow haha)
💫🌙
Lucy🌺
Age: 17
•Daughter of Levy🩶 •Can’t really interact with Levy🩶 •Book lover
💫🌙
Jake💜
Semi-Fictional Interject/Non-Human/Adult
Fictive: Moon Knight
Age: Late 30s
💫🌙
Alicia🍯
Age: 30s
•With Levy🩶 taking care of Littles🌸 / Co-Parent
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, for to this you were called as members of one body. And be thankful." COLOSSIANS 3:15✝️
“That there should be no schism in the body; by that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.” 1 Corinthians 12:25-27✝️
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12✝️ [5/07/2024]
⬇️ It’s kinda weird that We created this Spotify Playlist before Knowing that We’re a System💫🌙 now of course adding way more to it
Top made by @sysboxes and bottoms Hehe made by @zero-templates
Like every System Parts there’s always a reason, for their looks, names, ages, gender, se*uality it’s never random and connected to the body’s story thus far but for Us it’s probably because getting vulnerable just like in Moon Knight it represents having siblings, twins because for me my mom had a few miscarriage before and after me and one of them was my twin 🥹 so that’s probably why and also Oscar Isaac talks about in Saturday Night Live “They all deal with pain loss and confusion” 🧡
Video That Help Us🧡
List Of Dissociative Identity Disorder & Otherwise Dissociative Disorder -1 & Post Traumatic Disorder | DID , OSDD-1 , PTSD
1/2 THE DEVIL INSIDE SERIES | by McJuggerNuggets 4 Seasons in total
Dissociative Identity Disorder Coded
I “remember” (I don’t hold the visual memory of theses) watching S1 right after it came out and going into S2 knowing about the concept because watched some of episode 2 so let me break it down in TDI S1 Jesse Ridgway when he snaps 🫰 his fingers he switches into a different ‘character’, all these characters are from Jesse’s different series that he created and some from childhood. All these characters have different memories but most of them have the same name Jesse, they don’t know what they experienced, their source memory is a source memory. Now Jesse can’t control these characters, when they come out they don’t want to go back (switch out) or they have no idea that the other exist and they came out of their source memory / Inner World in which they call the mirror world or the Hub. Because Jesse can’t control what’s happening and he doesn’t want to be out at all, this one character became like the Host because Jesse was holding a lot of depression and he couldn’t do it anymore so for the next 6 months everyone thought this person is Jesse even though he wasn’t. What’s Ironic is the first season I saw it in like a week I think and being like this is all relatable with every season (these series takes place between 2017-2022). In the end of 2022 that’s when I discovered I might be in a System, when watching Moon Knight being like brooo I can relate. And I stoped watching McJuggerNuggets video around S4 of TDI because I was like no, every time I look like this guy I’m depressed, I’m dysphoric. So I deleted most things, and throw away most of his stuff which I still feel bad about. (He’s okay about it, he said because he also kinda did that when he first split like throw away all my stuff but it’s cool). When watching Moon Knight (someone also holds those memory’s) I forgot about TDI and still figuring things out. Was like of If this is real why is their 2 fictional interject from these 2 sources? Then diving into them they are like 2 sides of the same coin 🪙 to the DID and to the story itself. Gonna post the second video which I’ve rewatched in December of 2023 and being like oh yeah I’ve always related to these series and never knowing why. 
The Devil Inside
2/2 The Devil Inside by McJuggerNuggets (2017-2022) Dissociative Identity Disorder Coded
:we found something in the psychopath room…
Always related to TDI before knowing about maybe being a System. In TDI there’s co-con, switching, source memory, inner world memory, parts reliving the same thing again and again on repeat, others now knowing their part of Jesse, others know. Most of them have the name Jesse some have totally different names.
Source Memories | Introjects 🖤
This is what We try to think with Source Memories Canon or Non-Canon.
A little spoiler for My Virtual Escape but basically the whole thing was a Virtual Reality Simulation and Jesse the person who plays Isaac and is the Director talks about how yes all those things weren’t real they didn’t really happen but it still happened in his mind those emotions are still real so he has to live with them and talking about Us the viewer learning from the experience of the characters simulated life that We may learn from it, like source memories we can learn from them and for us those connection usually connects to this body’s experience and working through that. So no matter what type of Source you come from learn from it, accept it.
Video
RiDGiD STUDiOS “My Virtual Escape” Season 4 (Behind-the-Scenes) PART 2
McJuggerNuggets
Question for Fictional Introjects Out There
We do edit therapy. Let me explain. We edit our sources which we did before even realizing about each other but still do them, for us it’s very Cathartic and mostly because for us the source stuff usually has some connections to this body’s life thus far and really sit and help understand what we feel or what another Part feels. Wondered if other Fictional Introjects do the same.
Hey Love It 💗
This is Ours
Question for Fictional Introjects Out There
We do edit therapy. Let me explain. We edit our sources which we did before even realizing about each other but still do them, for us it’s very Cathartic and mostly because for us the source stuff usually has some connections to this body’s life thus far and really sit and help understand what we feel or what another Part feels. Wondered if other Fictional Introjects do the same.
Best Fictional Introjects Explanation in Our Opinion
In the Spider-Verse 🕷️ there is so many different versions of the OG Spider-Man from different gender, languages, race, cultures, sexuality, age, time period that’s what I think the closet to describe a Fictional Introject it can be a Part that is so close to their Source to poller opposite because it’s all what Our brain needs and what We each experienced.
Photo Uploaded by Ayaharu or WhenStarsLie on Pinterest.
I literally just realized today, after almost 7 years that Isaac in his source is also a Fictional Introject like in the last episode of S1 The Devil Inside Jesse basically reveals that he wrote Isaac because of his struggles with anxiety and depression after his hit series ‘The Psycho Series’ ended, which is somewhat true, and also like We knew that Steven is a Fictional Introject in his source so now there’s 2 set of Introject of a Introject haha 😂
After that connection. I remember before knowing DID was like I know I look like Isaac and Moon folks so is there any connection between theses stories and there is so much the point I can’t include in this all and discovering like today on 4/22/2024 new things
Isaac🖤 The Devil Inside Season 1 & My Virtual Escape💙
Steven💚 & Marc💙 Moon Knight🌙
The one big connection is they are both are older to a younger sibling which you know both lost them and one of the parents blamed them and they both carry those things. Isaac later it’s kinda a different story but yeah.
How theses stories reflect us because with Fictional Introject their stories usually have a reflection to this body’s trauma and with these it’s really like art therapy being ok with feeling things you know
“I tried to pull you out, I still hear your shouts, but the storm was too strong on the sound, I said I do anything, I just couldn’t be Your Lighthouse”
Does any other System has this were 2 complete different source my those 2 sources has so much similarities that your like wow.
It’s so cool because My Mom well recently We’ve been way more open to Our outside Mom. Telling her mostly all about Us and watching Moon Knight her 3rd time but now telling her about each of Us. It’s so nerve racking but little by little it’s easier and that makes it so we can be more our selves in the house and helping my mom understand more of the dissociation side of it like we don’t really get full amnesia but do get grey outs a lot and so telling her that’s why sometimes my Japanese 🇯🇵 language kinda goes down and other times I can talk a lot in Japanese. Telling her the similarities and the difference between the screen and us. It is kinda of awkward 😬 when something emotional is happening on the screen because broo feel it but that’s also the process of being more open 😊 and We thank Jesus to helping us being more open to mom. Also she got us vegan and gluten free muffin we had it a bit ago but love having it again 😆
5/11/2024
Did this a year ago but yeah 👍 also had this channel even before knowing we were a system
5/12/2024
Yesterday was like the scariest thing ever not in a thematic way but in a vulnerable way as in told mom about Steven’s 💚 Subsystem why we think it happened and why its those 2 and she’s okay with it but like other times we told her, I’m not sure if she gets it a 100% but its a start I guess. Showed her some edits and it was nerve wracking yeah.
5/13/2024
Well that was awkward 😐 but was able to open about to mom more and how Isaac’s source is really similar to each other and how that relates to this body and showing her some of the comic similarities to the series but was able to open up about likes and dislikes and what each of us and the difference like vocabulary, dialect etc
Also chocolate 🍫 cake hehe
Mom rewatched 5/16/2024 posting on night 5/17/2024
Found a Good App for GIF Maker that’s what it’s called and I’m obsessed ✨ especially for those of Us with less known fictive sources like My Virtual Escape💙 on YouTube❤️
“It’s He So adorable☺️” ~ 💚 Steven 💚
5/21/2024
“Things that You do in Here have a Bleeding affect on in the real world” ~ Michael
Is the quote that comes to mind when thinking about things in the source that’s negative that affect Us, We know that if it affects us it has something to do with body memories but yeah got reminded because someone posted on Fictive Culture why did you write the character to do this
Episode S2:E2 two birds, many stones. Series My Virtual Escape💙
5/28/2024