Gotham Pd - Tumblr Posts
“Dang it, Phil! Get rid of that horn!“
Honestly if you want to know why Batman is necessary in Gotham City just remember that the Gotham City Police Department had a banquet honoring Commissioner Gordon and they ordered a cake from “Crazy Clown Catering.” Honestly, guess who jumped out of the cake, much to the surprise of the entire Gotham City Police Force, who by all logic should have an entire division devoted to Clown Felonies by this point
My brothers in Christ, Bruce doesn't just fight crime by night.
Bruce runs a program through the WE (partnered with Gotham PD of course) that helps criminals get back on their feet. If a person is arrested for robbery, fighting, or henching (which has become it's own crime), their case is evaluated personally by Bruce and Jim Gordon. They have to meet some criteria of course. (Like, they couldn't have permanently or greviously injured anyone. They have to make less thant $110 k or have some other monetary issues) But, if they meet the criteria, they qualify for the program.
Through this program, they get hired by WE (which has full healthcare) and are taught transferable skills so they can leave Gotham if they want. WE pays great and everyone has heard great things about the work environment. Their charges are dropped, provided the victim agrees, and they have to complete community service (although they are given some time to get back on their feet so they don't lose working hours).
Each member of the program has to go to weekly therapy for up to a year and rehab if they have drug abuse issues (both full covered by Wayne healthcare, of course).
This program has reduced crime since it's started to the point that some big time criminals and crime lords are running out of henchmen.
I don't think violence should be your first, second, or third response to anything. You should try to come to understandings and should always strive towards peace. In fact, I vie-
Person: There's a Batgirl and Batman shipper!
Me: *cocks Glock* Where?
One of them time traveling situations where all the bat boys (Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian) become 12 .
The Justice League knows that explaining stuff to the Robins will be easy but they're nervous about Bruce's reaction.
Clark: -and that's what's happening. Any questions?
12 year old Bruce: Yes! It works!
Everyone, including his Robins, are confused as Bruce explains that he has been going out in home-made tact gear for the last two years and just fucking shit up. He regularly beats up grown men by just dropping onto their heads, he hangs out with Detective Gordon to solve murders (and get free juice boxes), and he randomly plants money to help Gotham's poor.
Bruce is just excited to know that he's become even COOLER in the future and now he has a family ^_^
(Everyone else is now understanding why he didn't think it was weird to have Robin side kicks.)
Bruce runs a Batman hate account (batman_sucks) Like, it's just a burner account where he's like "Why do we let this goddamn furry run free in our city? He does more harm than good!" (When his kids confronted him about it, he claimed it was another layer between personalities. His kids did not believe him and gave many hugs).
Anyway, he runs into this other account that just! keeps! defending! Batman!
Like, he'll say something about the rise of supervillain crime in correlation with the Bat and this account will show the rise of supervillain crime world wide.
He'll say the Bat is working like an unchecked police force and this account will remind him that the Bat single-handedly cleared up Gotham PD protection.
Once, Bruce makes fun of himself for being one of the only non-metas on the Justice League and this account went onto a 26 reply rant.
(In unrelated news, Clark has decided that batman_sucks is his greatest nemesis)
When Batman is a good little cryptid and solves a murder, he gets a pat on the head and a cookie from Commissioner Gordon 😌