Harry Potter Smuts - Tumblr Posts

Did you know why Voldemort’s life is such a joke?

because his name is Tom ‘Riddle”

Pansy : *complaining how Malfoy always complaining about harry to her* i swear to merlin i’m gonna use a curse on him next time he complain about Potter.

Blaise : Use Erecto

Pansy : Why should I us---

Blaise : To straighten him back.

Pansy :

Blaise :

Pansy :

Arthur : *saw Molly knitting another sweater* are you knitting again? Honestly dear, you should stop having another kid everytime I’m out at work.

Molly : *without looking up* I’ll stop when you stop asking the function of a rubber duck to every muggle wizard you met.

Voldemort: So I’m planning to torture harry so any suggestion?

Bellatrix: Send draco to use cruciatus on him

Lucius: Don’t send him. Just let draco stay here. It’ll be better trust me

Voldemort: Why should I? It’ll be better to use cru–

Lucius: Both of them are gays so don’t let them see each other. Torture him mentally.

Voldemort: Good idea lucius!

A few days later….

lucius: I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE! JUST FUCKING SEND DRACO TO TORTURE HIM. I RATHER SEND HIM THAN LETTING HIM STAY HERE AND HAVE HIM TORTURE MY MIND.

narcissa: *patted his back* there there good boy

bellatrix: ayyo what happened?

Voldemort: Draco kept bragging disgusting words about love to lucius after days not seeing harry.*passing tissue to Narcissa who was coaxing Lucius*

On the other hand…

Ginny : Oh merlin what happened to him?!What’s he doing?!* pointing at heavy eyebag Ron*

hermione: He’s writing a letter to send to Voldemort.

ginny: What for?

Hermione: If he wants to torture harry then it’s better to send malfoy because he himself couldn’t take it anymore.

Ginny: Is it that bad?

hermione : *pointed at harry*

Ginny: JUST LET HIM FUCKING WRITE THE LETTER

Imagine #1

Imagine Ginny greeted Harry after he came back home from work and realized that he smells slightly different along with his shirt. ‘‘did you change your shirt, Harry?’‘ asked Ginny. Harry looked away for a moment and awkwardly answered ‘‘Oh..er Yea I did ‘‘

Ginny just stared at him as she was suspecting something but stopped after Harry made up an excuse saying he spilled his coffee on himself by accident. Then Ginny just let out a laugh and everything was fine until Albus came into the living room and destroy the peace with just one line.

‘‘ Hey dad, Isn’t that Mr Malfoy’s shirt? I saw Mr Malfoy wore it this morning“

and the same thing happened at the Malfoys.

snape : Mr Potter, why aren’t you in detention last night?

harry : i...uh with hermione in the library

hermione : harry, i was at the common room with Ron studying charms.

harry : I....uh.. with Ginny helping Professor mcgonagall

Ron : Ginny was in the library with Luna and neville.

Snape : Mr potter, please...give me a decent reason why you are not in detention last nig---

Pansy : Draco, is that a gryffindor tie around your neck?

Hermione : *doing maths*

Ron : What's that?

Hermione : this ron, is called Mathematics. It contained problems about numbers to solve.

Pansy : I heard most muggles hate it.

Blaise : based on my research, pretty much could describe the relationship of Draco and Harry.

All : why?

Blaise : They despised each other yet still saying " fuck me " under their breath with sexual tension going around their waist.

Ginny :

Pansy :

Hermione :

Ron :

Imagine #2

Okay just imagine during breakfast students entered the great hall and saw a big large mirror besides the teacher lunch table . Harry seems to recognised it and before he could speak, he was cut off by none other than Draco who was standing infront of the mirror. Draco frowned and muttered "what kind of mirror is this? Potter,let me go! Stop hugging and snuggling on my neck! What in the bloody merlin happened here "then he turned around, he saw Harry was standing at the Gryffindor table with wide eyes. " That Draco, is the Mirror of Erised. It shows you, your biggest and hidden desire. And yes we ALL heard your comment. " said Hermione.

You can also see Mcgonagall received 10 galleons from both Snape and Dumbledore.

Imagine #3

Teddy was planning to scare scorpius and albus away so he changed himself into Draco Malfoy and walked to search for them. On his way searching for scorbus, someone pulled him in one of the empty classroom and pinned him to the wall. “You’ve been a bad boy, Malfoy” said the voice

Teddy pushed him and ran out of shock as soon he recognised the voice. When Harry walked out the room, he saw Draco, the real Draco was walking towards him with a questionable expression. “What is it? ”

“No, why did you ran away? ”

“I didnt potter. I just got here. Why? ”

Harry’s eye turned wide as soon he realised the person he just pinned to the wall earlier.

Imagine Mcgonagall calling out Molly As "Mrs Weasley" but end up getting Angelina(Married to George), Hermione(married to Ron), Fleur( Married to Bill) ,Audrey (married to Percy) and including Molly herself to turn around towards mcgonagall and be like "yes? "

Or

Mcgonagall calling out Arthur by calling him Mr Weasley and resulting Bill, Charlie, Ron, George, Arthur, Fred( George's son) and louis (Bill's son) to turn around.

You can hear James, Fred and Sirius laughing their asses off like a maniac when that scene happen.