Hwang Hyunjin X Y/n - Tumblr Posts

oooh Slytherin!hyunjin gives amortentia to reader after she rejects him so many timesss and after the effect gone she found out and mad oooh angst angst idk happy ending hahahahhahahaa (sorry for my bad grammar)

So this ask got me super excited!!! I love writing fantasy so count me in, babes! Please ignore any mistakes since I stopped reading Harry Potter in the forth book and just settled for the movies lmao

Here are some spells used in the story that may be confusing for my sweeties that are not into harry potter:

¹Amortentia: it's the most powerful love potion, it can't reproduce real love and it comes with dangerous side effects like a powerful infatuation or obsession. It smells differently to each person, like the things(or people) the person who's feeling the scent likes.

²Cruciatus: a spell(curse) used to torture people.

I'm using this post to celebrate reaching 200 followers 🥳, thank you for those who like what I write and keep supporting me, I'll keep working hard to bring more nice stories for you!!

I wish you would

Pairing: Slytherin!Hyunjin x fem!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 5,120(I'm sorry about that not really I just got very inspired)

Hyunjin is obsessed with you, everyone with eyes and ears knows that. He runs after you like a dog runs after its tail and you always try being nice, try rejecting him in a way to not hurt him but he doesn't seem to take a hint.

Your class just ended, you collect your books and walk to the corridor, feeling his eyes on you.

"What's it?" You ask, turning around to look at him. His green and black uniform matching perfectly with his blond hair. He seems taken aback with the sudden attention, since he's used to you ignoring him.

"I just wanted to give you this", he smiles, holding a paper bag to you, "Felix made brownies and I just thought you'd like a snack, I know you're studying a lot for exams"

You smile, you love brownies but you're not sure if you should accept it. It's been a day since you rejected Hyunjin… again. He doesn't seem bothered by it anymore, he just keeps coming on strong and at this point you already know it's just a trait of his personality to not give up easily. But it would seem inconsiderate to not accept, since he brought it just for you.

"Don't think too much", he shake the bag a little, "I'm just trying to look out for you"

You sigh, accepting the gift and thanking him. It's not going to kill you to be nice this one time.

After saying goodbye you head to the library, you're going to meet Seungmin to study. Your classes are not that difficult this semester, so you're just using your extra time to study for the bigger exams.

It's already past dinner time when you finish your studies, your friend gave up a few hours back and went to the dorms while you stayed to study a bit more.

You're hungry so you look at the paper bag Hyunjin gave you and look inside. The brownies have a nice scent of mint? Maybe Felix added some to the recipe.

One it's not enough, it's so good you end up eating the whole lot. Maybe you shouldn't have, you feel sick instantly after finishing it and the librarian comes running as soon as she looks at your face.

"Are you alright, darling? You look pale", she asks and you nod, maybe the exhaustion is finally hitting you.

You grab your things and walk towards the dormitories of your house, you feel your mouth dry and an empty feeling on your chest. What's going on? You look around, there's very little people in the hall since it's almost curfew time.

When you're crossing the courtyard, you see a shadow of someone hovering over and you stop in your tracks trying to discern who it is.

You tighten the hold on your wand while they get closer, only to breathe relieved seeing it's just Hyunjin.

"It's already late, you shouldn't be wandering around by yourself", he says.

"Oh, I-", you feel your cheeks warm suddenly, do you have a fever? Your hands are sweating too. "Can you help me?" You ask him, stretching your hand for him to hold, your heart beating fast to the thought of touching him. "I'm not feeling very well"

"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow, surprised, but still takes a step closer to you, grabbing your arm with a hand and sliding his other to your waist, giving you support by embracing you entirely.

"Thanks, I don't know what came on to me", you mumble and you're not sure if he heard, until you feel him tightening the hold he has on you.

"It's okay, it's my pleasure", he whispers close to your ear and you shiver.

It's strange for you to have this kind of reaction, especially to Hyunjin. It's not that you don't like him perse, you just don't think about dating in general. You want to focus on your studies, do well on your exams and have a good career, it's your parents dream that became your dream.

His pursuit over you got boring after the fourth time you rejected him. It was fun in the beginning, he's Hwang Hyunjin after all: handsome, smart and rich, you felt special when he didn't care about all those people that would crawl after him, but would beg for just a single glance of yours. With time it started bothering you, though. It seemed like the more you rejected him, the more interested he would get.

Why did it bother you, though? It feels nice having him holding you right now, he smells like mint, his warmth is shielding you from the cold air and you think it's okay to have him by your side just for a moment.

You can't stop thinking about him, Hyunjin is the first thing in your mind when you open your eyes in the morning and the whole breakfast you spend looking for him around the great hall, thinking about what he'd like to eat and maybe if he would like to walk with you to your classes.

"Are you alright?" Seungmin's voice takes you out of your thoughts, you realize you're just staring at your food for some time now.

"Nothing", you smile slightly, "I just… do you know where Hyunjin is?"

Seungmin frowns, tilting his head to the side while analyzing you.

"Why would I know that? But most importantly, why do you want to know that?"

You sigh, going back to play with your food.

"I just miss him", you mumble, earning a gasp from your friend.

"Did you finally lose it?" He's staring at you with narrowed eyes, disgusted.

You sigh, looking around one more time and finally seeing Hyunjin entering the hall, he's talking to a girl. Who is she? Why is she smiling so much to him? Why is he smiling back at her?

Your body moves by itself, getting up and walking with heavy steps towards the entrance where Hyunjin is talking to that girl, he seems excited.

You don't like it.

"Excuse me?" You say, waiting for him to turn around. You have your arms crossed in front of your chest and a foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

He looks at you with a smile that almost makes you melt, almost. You get even angrier, did he smile like that to her too?

"Oh, y/n, what can I do for you?"

"Who is she?" You ask without even thinking, why does that matter?

"We have divination together", he answers simply, just like that, as if that was a good enough answer. He frowns in confusion when you don't say anything and keep just staring at him. "Hm, we were just talking about some crazy prophecy Trelawney came up with in the middle of our class yesterday", he finishes, hoping you're satisfied with his answer.

You take your eyes out of him, looking at the girl and lifting one eyebrow, she smiles sheepishly at you and say goodbye to Hyunjin, walking to her house's table.

"Why did you take so long?" You step closer to him, grabbing his hand and holding it with yours.

"I didn't know you were waiting", he answers, leaning closer to you with a smirk in his lips.

"Well, I'll be waiting from now on so you better get here quickly"

You turn around, facing the tables. People are staring and whispering, of course, you never gave the time of day to him, it's something unpredictable to see you being cozy.

You slide his arms over your shoulder, a message to every other person that he's yours now. You're not sure where this possessiveness is coming from but it's there and you have to make it clear.

Hyunjin didn't think the potion would actually work, he's not that good at potions. He's been trying to catch your attention for a very long time but you rejected him over and over. He could have anyone he wanted, just not you and that made him crazy in the beginning, he just wanted you more and more, he's very ambitious after all.

However, after some time, he realized his feelings were deeper than what you thought, even more than he thought.

He started noticing every little thing about you, how you frown when you concentrate too hard, how you make every little feeling of yours show in your face. How you always have to be right.

And how you didn't want anything to do with him.

He was in love with you. That made him desperate, he needed you and you kept turning him down.

So he took drastic measures, he's not sure it's the most ethical thing to do, but he's unquestionably cunning, so he would do anything to achieve his goal.

A week before he gave you the brownies, your potion's class learned how to brew amortentia and he knew he had to give it a try. He spent nights awake trying to make the perfect potion, strong enough for it to work instantly and last long enough for you to not fall out of love easily.

"Are you really going to use a love potion?" Felix asks while watching Hyunjin mix the liquid with the brownies batter.

"I need to", he answers.

"She's going to be pissed if she finds out, you know that, right?" Felix tries again, it's not easy to make Hyunjin give up when he sets his mind to something.

"At least she'll be looking at me", his answer takes Felix by surprise, he knows Hyunjin is in love with you but maybe he can't grasp the depth of his feelings.

Hyunjin decides to wait, he'll try one more time before using the charmed brownies. He sees you in the courtyard, reading. You look beautiful with your hair messed by the wind and your lips moving, pronouncing the words in the book.

"So", he starts, he always tries to be confident around you, even though every time you turn him down his self esteem takes a blow. "When are we going on that date?", he asks, sitting by your side and watching you lift your eyes out of the book to look at him.

"Hm, I don't know about that", you smile kindly. He thinks you're cute being so considerate and trying not to hurt his feelings. Maybe if you weren't so nice to him, he'd already have gotten over you.

"What do I have to do for your answer to be yes?" He asks, bending his upper body to look at your face since you're looking at the book on your lap now.

"Let's not, Hyunjin", you sigh, "you know it's always going to be no"

He swallows hard, he did wish you were harsher in your rejection but he didn't think it would hurt so much.

"I'm not going to give up", he gets up, winking at you, he's too proud to show how hurt he is. "I know you don't dislike me, so that's a win for me", he smiles at you, even though he feels like he's suffocating.

He knows your personality, if you hated the idea of him hitting on you so much, you would already have threatened to crucio him but you don't and it's not because you're too polite for that, he has seen you fight people for much less.

He goes back to the Slytherin's common room and sits in front of the fireplace. It's getting cold lately, you shouldn't stay outside so much and for so long.

He just wants you to look at him, he's sure if you just get to know him better you'll want to be with him, he'll make sure of it.

So he gives you the brownies even though he feels a bit guilty about it, it's to late to back down when he sees you already turning around the corner, heading to the library.

He's restless, not sure when you're going to eat the brownies or if you will actually do it, he tries playing a bit of quidditch with his friends and studying but he's too anxious to concentrate on anything other than you. So he stays close to the library, waiting for you to finish your things.

As soon as you walk by the courtyard he can tell you're sick, so he gets closer and helps you get to your common room. Did you actually ask for his help? That sounds like a dream to him, just the thought of being next to you is enough to make him the happiest person alive, feeling your warmth against his body was enough to make him melt. If you didn't need his support, he'd be laying on the floor.

After giving him a peek on the cheek and leaving him behind in the great hall, after breakfast he can feel a burning gaze and he knows exactly who it is from. Seungmin, your best friend.

You might be enchanted but he's not, and if Hyunjin doesn't give you more of the love potion, Seungmin is going to make you fall out of love, he's sure of it.

He brews more of the potion, putting it on another batch of brownies to give to you. And you love the gift, eating all of it while studying with Hyunjin in the library. You're not studying much actually, you're just looking at him and asking questions about him, what he likes to do, about his family and his friends. It's an entirely new world to have all your attention to himself, he loves it, loves to spend time with you. The longer he stays in your presence the more he's sure that he does love you, all of you.

You're feeling tired lately, you lost all the deadlines to your projects in the last two weeks and now you're having to pull all nighters to try and get them all ready before the end of the semester. You have been spending a lot of time with Hyunjin, all the time you're not in class revolves around him.

He has been giving you lots of brownies lately and you're actually getting sick of it but you don't want to be a killjoy and end up accepting it anyway, eating it when you're bored.

This was the last time you accepted it though, you're going to say that you don't want it from now on and maybe Seungmin can help you eat these ones. Your best friend is at the library, waiting for you. He's going to help you finish some details of your project.

"I brought this for you", you shake the paper bag, holding it out for him.

He opens it and looks inside.

"Why does it smells like wood?" He scowls.

"What are you talking about?" You laugh awkwardly, "it smells like mint"

He stares at you for a few seconds before gasping, his hand palming his mouth.

"That's what's wrong with you!" He gets up, throwing the paper bag in the trash and ignoring your 'hey!' in protest. "Did Hyunjin give this to you?" He asks.

"Yes, why?"

"For how long have you been eating these brownies? Did they smell like that since the first time?" He ignores your questions, he looks absolutely out of it.

"Yeah, he gave me the first one's like two weeks ago", you frown, trying to understand what he's trying to say.

"He's been giving you amortentia", he tells you, running his hand through his hair, "how did I not realize that sooner, you've been acting weird for a reason!"

You feel your heart sink, he's been doing what?

That's not possible, he would never do something like that. Right?

You gasp, looking back to the way you have been acting lately, did he really charm you? So none of the things you're feeling are really real?

You managed to stay away from him for so long and suddenly you couldn't think about anything but him, the reason was right under your nose, you can't believe you didn't notice the signs.

"How much time does it take for it to wear out?" You ask, not really remembering what the professor taught you.

"A few hours minimum, a day or two if it's strong enough", Seungmin answers, whatching you seat and look at your fingers. Your chest hurt.

"Can I stay with you tonight? The last batch he gave me was yesterday, I may be fine tomorrow morning", you want to cry, Seungmin recognizes that face. You're looking around trying to prevent the tears from falling and he wants to kill Hyunjin for that.

Seungmin has been your best friend since first year, he didn't think he would have so much in common with someone from your house, but you two just clicked. He knows you like Hyunjin but you're too focused on your future to actually see that. Every time he makes a move on you, you'll turn him down, but your friend can see your eyes lingering on his figure while he walks away, you keep looking until he disappears and then you sigh. Sometimes Seungmin even sees you giggling from something Hyunjin says and your eyes shine brighter in those moments, he's not sure how you didn't realize it yet.

After the hurt eases a bit, you start getting mad. You wake up in the morning and all you can think about is a way to murder Hwang Hyunjin. You can't believe he used you like that, like a fucking toy for him to play house with.

You see him in the corridor, he smiles looking at you and opens his arms, waiting for a hug with a big smile on his face. Disgusting, that's all you can think.

"My love"

You walk confidently to him, taking him by surprise by hitting him in the face with a mixture of punch and slap, doing the movement of a slap but hitting him with your closed fist. He bends down, touching his cheek and looking at you, betrayal in his eyes.

"You fucking asshole!" You're seeing red, you didn't think you'd feel so livid seeing him, you're so hurt, so angry.

"Babe?" He looks at you like you're the one in the wrong.

"Don't", you take a deep breath, looking around to try and ease your anger, "don't call me that. You used a fucking love potion on me? What kind of loser does that?"

He gasps, he didn't think you'd find out about it, not so soon. He was sure he could make you fall in love with him and later on he would tell you about what he did.

Hyunjin could have anyone, there are dozens of people falling on their knees for him, you just can't understand why it has to be you.

"Let me explain, yeah?" He tries, taking a step closer and trying to hold your hands but you step back, glaring even harder at him.

"Don't touch me" you say, gritting your teeth, "you're disgusting"

You turn around, seeing the amount of people looking at your fight with shocked expressions in their faces. Of course no one's going to believe he gave you a love potion, he doesn't need that, he's Hwang Hyunjin.

That makes you even angrier.

You walk fast away from there, you can't believe you have to go through this kind of thing and the worst part is, why does it hurt so much? The effects of the potion must have ended by now, then why do you feel like you can't breath? The tears run out of your eyes without your permission and the hiccups come naturally with the painful cries.

You feel tired, frustrated, overwhelmed but most of all you feel heartbroken. There's no more potion tempering with your feelings but you still feel a lot of different emotions you shouldn't be feeling. It's not possible that you really like him.

The right reaction is for you to curse him, feel mad about all he's done and hate him with all your being. But you're feeling hurt and you want to curse at him, obviously you're angry about what he's done, but you're worried about him, maybe you were too harsh on him.

No.

You'll not let any feelings you have let him away with manipulating you. If you really do like him you're just going to have to stop.

Hyunjin can't eat, can't sleep, can't study, in other words, he can't function properly. You don't speak to him, you don't look at him, you don't even aknowledge his existence.

You don't eat when he's in the great hall, you will sit in the fartest seat from him when you're in the same class and everytime he tries talking to you, your personal bodyguard, Seungmin, prevents him from doing it.

He can't live like this, Hyunjin feels like he's about to die at any moment and he just doesn't know what to do.

Felix is too nice to actually say it but he looks at Hyunjin with that 'I told you so' look and just watches again as his friend sits in his bed and spends minutes staring at nothing.

"Was it that bad?" He asks but he already knows the answer. The whole school is in uproar after you punched him in the middle of the corridor before classes started, so to say everyone knows about what happened it's an understatement.

"She's not even looking at me", Hyunjin says finally and Felix sighs, sitting by his side and patting his back.

"I think you should give her some time", Hyunjin scowls after hearing that, even though he knows his friend is probably right.

It hurts so much, even more than when you just ignored him. Because now that he could feel your warmth, he can't live without it.

Since the first time Seungmin met you, this is the first time he has to worry about you. Even when you pulled all-nighters studying or joined too many extracurricular activities, you always took care of yourself. This time though, you're not.

Your grades are back to normal and your projects are all ready a week before the deadline but at what cost? You are not sleeping properly, there are huge eyebags under your eyes and you lost weight, your hair is always a mess and your clothes are far from your usual tidy style. He knows you realized your feelings for Hyunjin and you're just trying to bury them without actually trying to understand them and he just doesn't know what to do to help you, every time he tries talking about it, you'll brush it aside and tell him you're not in the mood for that.

The winter holidays come to you like a gift and a curse, you don't have lots of work to take care of so you can rest but you don't have lots of work to take care of so you don't have anything to distract yourself from your wandering thoughts, those ones that always end up on the same person.

You never thought it would be so hard to get over someone, in some way your brain probably knew that the moment you let someone walk past your walls it wouldn't be easy to undo the damage made. That's why you always run from Hyunjin, because it would be torturous to stay away from him after you let your feelings be known.

As the weeks go by, your anger subside a bit. You still can't forgive what he did but you miss him too much to still be mad. You were pretty confident in the first few weeks, concentrating all your energy in your classes and projects, trying to forget about him. However, the more time passed, the more you thought you actually liked him… way before the amortentia happened.

You two met each other in your first year, but you were children that didn't care about the opposite sex and it went like that till fifth year, when you two turned fifthteen and puberty just hit him like a truck over summer break. He came back taller, his voice changed a bit too and his facial expressions as a whole were sharper, more eye-catching than ever.

It wasn't different for Hyunjin, however you always caught his eye. When he was younger he thought you were cute for a girl and he has never been easy to impress. When you grew up you became so pretty he couldn't take his eyes out of you. That was the first time he ever asked someone out and the first time he was rejected, it really hurt his pride. And now, finishing your seventh year, it's the first time you're realizing maybe he fell first but you fell harder.

The classes come back in the blink of an eye, you're not sure you're happy or sad about it since you don't know what to do with the whole Hyunjin situation.

It all gets worse when you see him in the corridor, he's looking around and fidgeting and you just know he's waiting for you.

You try walking past him, but he lifts his eyes as if he felt your presence and you see the corner of his mouth going downwards and his lips quivering.

"Can- can we talk?" He pleads, his voice shaking, it's too much for him to finally see you again, finally have you looking at him again.

You look down, trying to decide what to do and end up nodding, turning around and leading him to an empty classroom. He closes the door and watches as you wander around the class, brushing your fingers on the table's surface, avoiding looking at him.

"How are you?" He asks finally, after a few minutes of torturous, awkward silence.

"Just fine", you answer, looking at every piece of the room but not at him. You're afraid that if you look him in the eyes you're going to cave in and you just can't give in so easily.

"I'm having a really hard time", he tells you.

"Didn't ask", you stop in your tracks, annoyed with yourself because it hurts to be mean to him. "Let's get this over with", you manage to say, even though the ache in your chest is making it difficult to breathe.

He sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"I- I'm really sorry about what I did, y/n, can you please forgive me?" He begs and you finally turn around, trying to keep your cool, the anger is coming again and you feel your face hot.

"Are you asking me to forgive you for tampering with my feelings? Or for pulling this shit just because you're obsessed with something you can't have?"

He frowns, it's not like that, he knows that but clearly you don't.

"I don't get more interested just because you turn me down", he sighs, a desperate look on his face. "Y/N, I have wanted you all the same since the beginning. I can't have anyone else, not because I'm obsessed but because I'm in love with you", he takes a step towards you, "you make me feel alive"

You're taken aback by the confession, so shocked you don't even notice how close he got to you in a few moments but you can't let him get away from this, not when your pride is involved.

"Do you think it's fair to make someone like you just because you like them? Would you ever have told me about what you did or would you keep me like a fucking toy until you were tired of playing with me?"

He stares at you for a moment, he wasn't trying to hurt you. He was selfish, he knows that and you have the right to not want anything to do with him anymore, but he has to try earning you back.

"I know I shouldn't have gave you a love potion, I know it's wrong and I did know you wouldn't like having your feelings messed with", he takes one of your hands and puts it in his chest, right above his heart and for the first time since you found out about what he did, you don't want to pull your hand away from his touch. "I was going to tell you, I swear, I just wanted to make you really look at me and see it was worth it giving me a chance", he smiles sadly, "you are right to hate me after what I did but if you do forgive me I swear that I'll make up for it every day of our lives and I'll make you happier than you ever thought could be possible. It's going to be my goal, my mission, the biggest of my ambitions"

You sigh, it hurts. Because logically, you shouldn't forgive him. But love is not logical and you want to accept his proposal. You know it's dumb and you know it's risky but never in your life did you really make a choice that you wanted to do. You had to be a good student so your teachers would like you, you had to behave so your family would be proud of you, you had to have good grades so your parents would be satisfied, because they told you you needed to have the greatest career and that became your dream, but you never stopped to think about what you really wanted.

"If you didn't use the potion, would you keep trying to win me over?" You whisper, trying to decide what answer to give him.

"Yes, probably forever. Until you threatened to kill me or married someone else", he smiles, "not going to assure you I wouldn't try stealing you from your partner, but that would hold me back a little", he chuckles.

You sigh, why must you like him so much?

"I swear I'll make you regret it if you ever use any magic on me again", you say through gritted teeth, glaring at him, "and I like the thing you said about making up for it our whole lives"

A big smile grows on his lips and you feel your cheeks getting hot, how can someone be this beautiful?

"Then, will you give me another chance?" He asks in a breath.

"I'll let you take me on a date and I'll decide after that"

He smiles widely, throwing his arms around you and kissing the top of your head.

"I'll make it be a yes", he whispers, squeezing you more in his embrace.

You know you'll forgive him completely soon, Hyunjin can't hide his emotions from you so you know he's telling the truth but you sure as hell are not going to make it easy for him.

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,…well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

—

“alright everyone” your professor rubs his hands together “that was it for today… i hope you all have a great break and i’m very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again” he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

“fuck” you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

“you did it girl” your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She’s sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

“finally” you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

“my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up” she giggles “it was kinda cute not gonna lie”

“oh god” you snicker.

“hey did you find someone to take to yongin?” you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

“oh yea, i did” she turn to you “i think you know him, seo changbin?”

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you’ve heard of the name.

“he’s a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin” she continues folding a pair of jeans “funny you’d ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn’t that where you’re going?”

“Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich” you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

“Mm you aint gotta tell me girl” chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

“so who’s that friend?” you ask, stretching out on your bed.

“he’s in his grade, hyunjin”

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

“Oh yea” she points at you “you know him?”

“unfortunately” you huff.

Keep reading

𝑺𝒌𝒛!𝑩𝑭𝑭 𝑨𝒄𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (Hyung line)

Part 2: Maknae line

「 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 」

Hyunjin sickfic when. *folds arms waiting patiently* 🤭

I love your writing sm I’m gonna cry

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!hyunjin. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. hospital visit. this one's got angst in it. reader is sick (with a sprained ankle). hyunjin is worried af, as he should be lmao. reader has low self-esteem w/her dancing abilities, and has difficulty opening up about how she truly feels. pet names (affectionately). toothe-rotting fluff.

word count: 6.3k (yikes got carried away with this one wtf)

summary: it's been proving to be very difficult to keep the dance class that you take three times a week a secret from your boyfriend hyunjin. and the lies only become even harder to tell when you suddenly hurt your foot during class one night.

a/n: originally, i was planning on posting this yesterday as a kind of valentine's day gift for you guys, but then uni homework raw-dogged me like a total bitch and i got fucked over with a horrible migraine later in the night... i love my life!!! 😊 anyways, this was really fun to write- i FUCKING ADORE SOFT HYUNJIN!!! 😭 thanks for requesting, @hyungenie5... i hope this little piece of writing is to your liking, and thanks for your support~ 🤍

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The dance class was supposed to remain a secret. No one - not even your boyfriend Hyunjin - was supposed to know that you were taking it until it was long over in the summer. By the end of the class, you hoped that your skills would improve immensely and that you’d be able to join your boyfriend in the studio some time to dance with him. 

 But unfortunately, those grand plans all came to a halt late one Friday night. 

 When you were practicing a certain twirl that had been giving you a hard time for the past week. For some reason, one of the laces of your sneakers had come undone. And this prompted you to trip over it when you suddenly came out of the spin. 

 You landed on the ground in a heap of limbs, clenching down hard on your jaw at the feel of a sharp pain shooting through your left ankle. The ache was agonizing, and it took everything in you to not scream out in anguish at the feeling that had quickly exploded inside your ankle. 

 Soon, your classmates rushed over and helped you off of the floor and onto a nearby bench, where your teacher took a look at your foot.

 “It doesn’t look too bad, it’s just a bit swollen from the impact,” she said, peering up at you, a sheen of sweat glistening across her exposed forehead. It was sweltering in the practice room at the gym where you were taking the lessons, and everyone crowding around you was out of breath from the routine that the class had been practicing tirelessly for the last month or so. “I’d advise you to keep off of it as much as you can for the next few days and ice it every night. Don’t come into class Monday and instead give it a rest, and it should be better by the next session on Wednesday.” Your teacher instructed you, before giving your knee a gentle squeeze and going back to a group of students who needed her advice on a certain move. You had class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday late in the night, but surprisingly, the sessions were always packed with wannabe dancers, even late into the night. It just proved how many people desperately wanted to become better dancers. And you were one of those ‘people.’ 

 “Can you make it to your car alone?” One of your classmates asked. You looked up at Yejun, offering her a smile that quickly turned into a grimace of pain. You had met her soon after you started the class, and the two of you had grown closer over the past few months. 

 But no one knew who you were dating - who your boyfriend of three years was. They couldn’t know, otherwise, that would jeopardize everything Hyunjin did for work and your entire livelihood. So, you mostly stayed silent about the intimate details of your personal life with everyone else and opted to talk about the surface-level things in your life.

 “Yeah, I don’t think I can do it,” you laughed in a humorless kind of way. Without another word, Yejun was picking up the large duffle bag that you always brought with you to practice. Then, she was slipping an arm around your waist and leading you out of class and through the spacious gym. It was still relatively busy even for it being so late in the night on a Friday.

 “You promise that you’re gonna rest?” She rose a black, perfectly-manicured eyebrow your way as you shuffled out of the main doors of the gym. 

 And even though you had only known her for a few months, she could get a pretty good read on you. How you didn’t like asking people for help and how you tended to bottle things up all of the time. You had done such a thing since you were a very little girl, and you supposed there was no changing the way your mind was built. Even still, this aspect of your personality drove Hyunjin insane. He’d pry and pry and pry for you to tell him what was truly wrong with you, and it’d take more than just a few kisses and gentle words to finally get you to talk. It didn’t matter who you were with - who you were talking to - you just… couldn’t talk about really personal stuff most of the time. 

 “Yeah, yeah- I’ll rest all this weekend.” You rolled your eyes at Yejun as you stopped just in front of your car. You pulled out your keys, unlocking the doors before throwing your duffle bag into the backseat. 

 “Okay, well… drive safe and take it easy, yeah?” She mumbled, pulling you into a gentle hug, and you gave her a quick pat on the back before pulling away. “See you on Wednesday?” 

 You flashed her a playful wink, “Sure thing!” You waved her off as you slipped into the driver’s seat of your car. Your friend returned the gesture before she turned around and jogged back into the gym. 

 As soon as she was out of sight, you let out the moan of misery that you had been holding in for the last few minutes. The pain seemed to shoot through your ankle in quick increments, traveling up the length of your leg and pooling in your knee. 

 Holding onto the steering wheel with a death-like grip, you took a few deep breaths. The ache wouldn’t be this bad forever. You just needed to ice it. Just follow what your teacher told you to do, and you’ll be fine. You said all of these things and more to yourself inside your head as you turned your key in the car's socket and the car’s ignition roared to light. 

 Just get home and get in bed, and then everything will be alright. 

 But everything was not alright. 

 This was made so apparent when you stood in front of your apartment door and the remembrance dawned on you that Hyunjin had the entire weekend off. So that meant that he would be home earlier than he usually would be on a Friday night. And since it was a quarter-past-eleven at night, he was sure to be home.

 Fuck. 

 It had already been an entire production getting out of your car and into your apartment’s elevator, what with your limping form and all. But now you had to face your very own boyfriend, who wasn’t even aware that you were taking a dance class in the first place. You wanted it to be a surprise for him. You had always been self-conscious about your dance skills ever since you were a little girl. 

  And then you went ahead and started dating one of the best dancers in all of the Kpop industry. As a consequence, your self-esteem in the dancing department tanked astonishingly low. You’d regularly join Hyunjin in the studio late at night at the company, and sometimes he’d try to teach you some of Stray Kids choreo. But most of the time, you made a complete fool of yourself, and instead opted to just watch him from the sidelines. Watch in silence, offering praise when you could, about how perfect his angles were, how amazing his technique was, and how his flow and rhythm were impeccable with the music. 

 Meanwhile, deep inside your mind, you were playing the same thought over and over again; why can’t you just be a better dancer like him? Why can you just not suck at it, for once in your damn life? He probably thinks your horrible, and he’s right… no wonder why he stopped offering you teach you. 

 But in the new year, finally feeling fed up from always feeling shitty when your boyfriend would show you a video of his dance practices, or when you’d watch him in the studio, you decided to sign up for the beginner's contemporary dance class at your local gym. 

 It was daunting, at first, to go by yourself without knowing anyone there, but soon, you got used to the feeling and genuinely started to enjoy your time spend in the studio. It was hard work, that was for sure, but you liked the idea of finally finishing it in the early spring and then surprising your amazingly-talented dancer boyfriend with the choreo that you had learned and practiced tirelessly for the past few months, unbeknownst to him. 

 To keep the class a secret from Hyunjin, you had lied and told him that you were going to the local gym and lifting weights. And it wasn’t a complete lie, because technically, you were at the gym. You just weren’t lifting any weights. 

 Nevertheless, Hyunjin had been hesitant about the idea. Especially since you would be coming and going so late at night. At first, he had protested against it because of how many creeps could be hanging around the gym that late at night. He didn’t want you willingly putting yourself in any danger from being out so late alone. But, after much negotiation and pleading on your part, you had managed to convince him to be okay with it. And then, you were off… attending the class three times a week and absorbing the lessons like a little ocean sponge out in deep sea waters. 

 You gathered up all of the courage you still had inside of you as you shuffled across the apartment’s threshold. A couple of the lights were left on in the living room, and dim classical music was filtering out through the nearby room to the right of you. Hyunjin’s art studio. The two of you had chosen this specific apartment to rent out because it offered two bedrooms, and the space that he wanted to make his office had an amazing, large bay window that showcased a huge portion of Seoul's cityscape. The view in there was breathtaking and was the key inspiration for a lot of his recent art pieces. 

 A sigh of relief fled from your lips as you dropped your duffle bag down on the nearby dining room table and made to get some ice for your foot. Your entire body was sticky from your dried sweat, and you longed to hop into the shower for a nice cool-off. Just as soon as you ice your ankle. 

 Just as you were filling up a small plastic bag of ice, you heard a door open behind you. Then, in a few beats, you felt two long arms wrap around your waist from behind. If you weren’t in so much pain at that moment, you would’ve been happy to feel Hyunjin’s presence at your back. But mostly, you just felt exhausted and irritable. And these were two things that didn’t mix well together.

 “Welcome home, sweetheart,” he muttered, as he leaned down with his tall frame to pepper gentle kisses against your shoulder. “How was your workout?” 

 “Fine, I guess.” You said in a slightly-dismissive tone, as you finished filling up your baggie with ice. 

 “And why in the world are you filling up a plastic bag with ice?”

 Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach at his question. Because in your state of discomfort and exhaustion, you hadn’t thought out the lie that you would have to tell him for why you could barely fucking walk. And you definitely couldn’t tell him to the extent that the pain was at. But there was no getting around the fact that you had hurt yourself, so better to tell a small white lie than ignore it entirely. 

 “I, uh- kinda hurt my foot when I was working out with weights tonight, but I’m okay.” You said, trying to keep your voice light and airy. 

 Immediately as the words fell from your lips, Hyunjin was turning you around. His eyes raked over your face, assessing your neutral expression before flitting down to the rest of your body. Like he’d be able to see any other injuries you hadn’t told him about if he looked hard enough. 

 “Are you sure you’re okay?” His brows were furrowed in worry, the concern blatantly shining in his dark brown eyes. His fingers brushed across your cheek, before tucking a few stray, sweaty strands of your hair behind your ear. 

 You gave him a soft smile, leaning up to ruffle his fluffy, peachy-pink hair a little bit. “Yes babe, I’m fine.” 

 “Then, you should rest and use the ice pack.” 

 You gave him a sardonic grin, “That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped my plans and started to grill me with questions.” 

 He slipped his arms from your hips and reluctantly stepped away from your frame to allow you space to continue your routine. But not before he leaned down into you with his towering form and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. And if your foot didn’t currently hurt like a bitch, you probably would’ve melted into his embrace and let him hold and kiss you for a long time after that. Instead, you just felt like a sweaty ball of painful shit and wanted to hop into bed as soon as possible. 

 “I’ll be in my office if you need anything…” Hyunjin’s delicate voice stayed with you in the kitchen, as he trekked back to the door to his office. 

 You quickly grabbed a kitchen dish towel to use to wrap around your bag of ice. “Alright. I’m going to take a quick shower and then head to bed.” 

 “I’ll be there in a little while,” your boyfriend said, and when you looked up at him, he was giving you this sweet, pure look of devotion. But it was also mixed with a tad bit of unease. He never did like the idea of you being injured in any way. “Try to get some rest, yeah?” 

 “Sure, baby,” you flashed him a wink, “but only if you come to bed relatively early tonight.” It seemed like he was always slipping into bed late these days… curling up behind you well past three in the morning. He proclaimed that it was only because inspiration struck him the strongest late into the night, and while you weren’t one to stand between an artist and their craft, there had to be a better solution for inspiration than ruining his entire sleep schedule.

 “I'll sure try, sweetheart.” Hyunjin’s soft voice followed behind you, as you made your way to your shared bedroom. 

 At least you weren’t the only one who told lies in the relationship. 

 The next day, your foot hurt like a literal bitch all day long. The pain wasn’t too bad after you first woke up, and upon icing it for a little while, it felt somewhat better. But then you went about the apartment doing the chores that you usually did every Saturday, and the discomfort returned tenfold. 

 At one point, it was so bad that when you sat down on the living room couch for a few minutes to give it a rest, you could barely get up again. And when you untucked your sock after lunch, you noticed how your left foot was looking a little… discolored. Some parts of your ankle were grayed, and a tiny bit of swelling was present too. But you had hurt it in dance, so that was to be expected. 

 You tried to hide the agony that you were in from your boyfriend, but being the perceptive man that he was, he automatically picked up on it. After all, he had become attuned over the years to understanding when you were feeling shitty since it took you so long to admit to him how you were feeling. Throughout the day, he’d ask you if you were okay and force you to sit down for a few minutes to ice the hurting foot. 

 But it was after dinner that he finally decided to put his foot down about the whole thing. He had dragged you over to the living room couch, practically throwing you onto the plush cushions before plopping down beside you. 

 “And what gives you the right to think you can throw me around like your own personal rag doll?” You asked, playfulness dripping from your tone. You turned to him and rose a quizzical eyebrow his way as he turned on the tv and flipped through Netflix to find a movie to watch. The usual thing that you two liked to do every Saturday night; was curl up on the couch and get all cozy with each other. The movie nights either ended in one of two ways, cuddling until you both fell asleep right then and there, or making out and soon traveling into the bedroom for a long night of fun. 

 “I’m forcing you to take a break, that’s what I’m doing,” he leveled you with a serious face, a slight frown pulling his mouth downwards. 

 You folded your arms across your chest defensively, “I don’t need a break, babe. I’m fine.” 

 “Oh yeah? Well then, I guess I’ve just been imagining all of the pained faces that you’ve been making all day, or that perpetual furrow in your brow that you always get when you’re holding something in?” Hyunjin said, voice completely flat. Just then he reached out to you, wrapping a long arm around your waist and yanking you close to his side before tucking a fuzzy blanket around the two of you. 

 “I’m not furrowing my brows.” You said defensively, even though you had given up on fighting him any longer. Honestly, you were a little too tired from all of the hurt and activity of the day to care. So you snuggled deeper against him, slinging your arms around his waist and breathing in his scent of fresh linen and sweet roses. “And besides, the apartment needed cleaning. A bad foot wasn’t going to stop me from completing my mission.” You had taken some pain medication soon after lunch, but since it was late into the night, it had worn off. You’d have to take some before you went to bed, but it didn’t seem to help that much, since you had still been in pain even after taking it in the middle of the day.

 “Just shut up and relax, will ya?” Your boyfriend all but grumbled, as he finally selected some random thriller to watch. You hid your smile behind your blanket as you felt him lean down and press a few kisses atop the crown of your head. “Just want you to feel better, my love…” 

 You turned your head up on his shoulder so that you were staring right into his expressive dark-brown eyes. “And I already do feel better just with your kisses alone.” A smirk spread across your mouth, as you leaned into him and your mouths met again in a soft kiss. 

 Your boyfriend motioned with his head to the flashing tv screen in front of the two of you, “Now, let’s focus on the movie so that you can get your mind off of the discomfort.” 

 A few giggles escaped from deep inside of you at his serious tone. He truly did care a lot about you and your well-being. And so that’s why you didn’t want to tell him how bad the pain was. Because you knew that as soon as you told him, he’d get himself all worked up into a tizzy and obsess over your health until you were back to one-hundred-and-twenty percent. Would practically nurse you back to health, ignoring all of his other duties at the company until he could confirm with his own two eyes that his girlfriend was feeling much better than before. 

 So you stayed silent, refraining from revealing to him how much agony you truly were in from your foot alone. You turned your attention to the movie in front of you. 

 And the feel of his long, muscular arms wrapped around your waist and squeezing slightly, the comforting sense of his warm body just beside yours, did wonders to the pain. It worked better than any of the medicine in the entire world, and you soon found yourself completely ignoring and forgetting the ache that was shooting through your foot and up into your veins and instead was basking in the feel and smell of your very loving boyfriend. 

 “Sweetheart, do you want to stop and take a rest for a minute?” Hyunjin asked you in a gentle voice the next day. What with it being Sunday and since the two of you were still off from work, you had decided to spend the day out on the town - shopping around. 

 You two had already eaten a sweet breakfast of pastries and coffee at a local cafe and were currently walking the streets of Hongdae, in search of a matching set of hoodies that fit both of your styles perfectly. So far, you had had no luck at the boutiques that you had already searched. The fuzzy hoodies were either too frilly or too plain...

 You shook your head vehemently, “No, I’m fine… don’t worry about me.” But you knew you telling him that would only make him worry even more. Since your foot only hurt even worse when you woke up early that morning. The pain throbbed up your leg now, and it felt like somehow was grasping harshly at your left ankle bone every time you walked on it, rattling the thing bitterly. 

 You were practically limping pathetically at your boyfriend's side, desperate hands clutching at his arm to stop you from completely toppling over into a pile of weak limbs right there. Because that’s what you were feeling at that exact moment; weak. 

 Hyunjin ran a frustrated hand through his peachy-pink locks, an exasperated sigh flooding from his lips, “I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to us going out today-” He started to grumble beside you. 

 Just then, the two of you stepped over a particular area of sidewalk that was somewhat cracked in the middle. And of course, your left shoe - your bad foot - just had to get caught in the tiny space there. Immediately, your body hurled to the ground as you grasped for your boyfriend. Thankfully, he caught you just in time before you hit the asphalt, pulling you up onto your feet again. 

 And when you stood straight once more, the agony only intensified even more so. Feeling so overwhelmed by it, and so, so weary with sudden despair, a tiny cry escaped past your lips as your legs gave out from underneath you. Toppling onto the ground in a heap of exhaustion, the tears were freely flowing down your cheeks. 

 Hyunjin was already crouching at your side, one arm wrapped around your waist. “Darling, what’s wrong-” He began, the worry seeping from his tone. 

 “It’s hurts, Hyunjin… like, a lot…” You managed to get out in between your sobs. Your vision was blurry from your tears, cheeks warm to the touch at the embarrassment of feeling others' eyes on you as they passed by on the street. 

 But not another word needed to be spoken, as you were soon being lifted into your boyfriend’s arms. And a moment later, he was gently placing you down on a nearby bench. 

 He was then crouching in front of your feet, gently grasping at your left foot and holding it out to him slowly. “Can I take a look at it, sweetheart?” He asked you with all of the tenderness in the world. The look in his eyes then- one of pure apprehension and heartache did something funny to your heart and only made you cry even harder. You nodded your head in silent approval. 

 Heart beating wildly inside your chest, you waited, and watched in bated since, as your boyfriend gingerly slipped off your thin sneaker. With thin, nimble fingers, he slid your baby-blue sock down and off of your foot. 

 And the moment he saw what lay underneath, he gasped audibly. Your foot was steadily turning purple and blue and was swollen all around the ankle. Eyes completely focused on your foot, Hyunjin turned your foot from either side, inspecting it diligently. 

 Finally, after what felt like an eternity of looking at it, he stared up at you with wide eyes. The heartbreaking look in them told you all you needed to know- the way that his lips slightly fell open in his surprise, jaw clenching in anger. “B-Baby, has it looked like this since you got home from the gym on Friday?” His fingers gently swept over the bone that was slightly protruding out to the side near your ankle. 

 The tears had begun to slow down, leaving wet trails down either of your heated cheeks. Sniffling, you meekly nodded your head yes in answer. “Why? Is it that bad?” 

 A deep crease formed between his dark brows, and his blush-pink hair blew in the cool February breeze that suddenly swept across the streets at that moment. “Sweetheart, this looks really- really bad,” his eyes flitted down to your foot again, which he was still holding in one of his palms. “I’ve seen a lot of injuries, and I know the signs… honey, I think you’ve sprained it.” 

 Your heart plummeted into the pit of your stomach. “W-What? But… how could that be? It’s not like I-” Your voice took on an incredulous tone, but before you could say anything else, your boyfriend was moving your foot again, turning it slightly so that he could slip your sock back on. You hissed in discomfort, biting down hard on your bottom lip to quell the moan that wanted to bubble up and out of you just then. The pain was unbearable. 

 Your boyfriend stood up from the ground, fitting two hands around your waist and helping you rise from the bench. He slipped an arm around your hips, securing you to his side as you slowly began to shuffle down the street, going backward from the way you had just come from. “C’mon, we gotta get you to the hospital.” He said, leading you two away from the shops that you had been at for the last few hours. 

 “Hospital? No- that’s not necessary, I just need to… rest at home, that’s all…” Your voice trailed off as another wave of pain throbbed through your tender foot. 

 Hyunjin leveled you with a glare. “It’s either you come with me willingly, or I carry you in my arms bridal style. Either way, you’re fucking going to the hospital.” The way he said the last of his words in that deathly-low tone sent a chill down your spine. Because you knew it all too well since he’d only use it on you when you were being particularly stubborn. And almost always, it was during a time when you weren’t taking any regard for your health, and Hyunjin had to force you to do the things necessary to practically stay alive. 

 “O-Okay…” You whispered. You struggled along beside him, fingers holding on tight to his thick brown winter jacket. “Just… don’t let go?” You stared up at him with big eyes, lip quivering a little bit from the pain of having to walk and put pressure on your bruised foot. 

 “Never, sweetheart.” He brought you closer to him then, practically wrapping both arms around your waist and helping you along the sidewalk as you slowly made your way back to his car. 

 “Well, you have a sprained ankle,” the nurse told you a few hours later. She was a rather short, petite-looking woman, with long, black hair swept up into a tight braid at the back of her head. “You’ll need to diligently rest for the next… four to six weeks. The doctor suggested using an ice pack for twenty minutes a few times a day, to help with the swelling.” 

 After you and Hyunjin had left Hongdae, it was only a matter of time before he found the nearest hospital and checked you into the Emergency Room there. After waiting for a little over an hour, you were finally called back into one of the exam rooms. It merely took the nurse and doctor one look at your ankle to confirm that it was sprained. After the doctor’s assessment, the nurse filed back into the room to hand you some paperwork to fill out. 

 During the entire visit, Hyunjin was sitting beside your hospital bed in a small chair, clutching onto your hand as you awaited the news of your diagnosis. He let out a sigh of relief at the news of it only being a sprain since he had been worrying that it was broken instead. 

 “And don’t walk on it,” the nurse continued, as she handed you a bottle of prescribed high-dosage pain medications. “I understand that it will be difficult to assimilate to a less active lifestyle for some time, but please remember that if you walk on it, doing so can put you at risk for horrible complications in the future and hinder you from achieving a full recovery.” 

 “I understand, thank you so much,” you said, giving her a soft smile as you fit the bottle of pain meds into your nearby purse. Your boyfriend was still clutching onto your hand, fingers squeezing a little too tightly as you positioned yourself back on the bed. 

 "I’ll give you two a few minutes, and then come back to assist you in checking out at the front desk.” The nurse returned your smile and bowed slightly at you and Hyunjin before making her way out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. 

 Immediately, your boyfriend turned to you with a deep frown. “And you’ve been walking on a sprained ankle for the past… three days.” He shook his head in disapproval, running a frantic hand through your hair. “Honestly, Y/N, I don’t understand why you do this to yourself- why you do it to me…” 

 Training your focus down at your lap, your fingers absently played with a loose strand from your thick winter sweater. “It’s not like I mean to not tell you stuff. It just… happens.” 

 “And you said you got this from lifting weights at the gym?” 

 His question forced your head to shoot up without you even thinking about it, eyes locking with his as he sat just beside you in his tiny vinyl chair. “Y-Yeah… I must’ve used the barbell wrong or something.” You laughed a little anxiously, heart beating painfully against your ribcage. 

 Because he couldn’t find out. It was downright embarrassing to think about him knowing you had been taking dance classes. But you also wanted to keep it a surprise for him, when you eventually performed your routine for him - not like that would happen anytime soon though, since you would be on bed rest for the foreseeable future. 

 Hyunjin brought his hand away from yours then, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly, crossing his legs together and giving you a knowing look. “I call bullshit. You don’t get a strained ankle from lifting a few pounds.” 

 “And how do you know that, mister?” 

 “Because I’ve seen the guys get injured from lifting before, but it never has to do with their ankles.” 

 “Well, maybe I’m the exception.” 

 “Cut the crap, sweetheart,” his voice came out a little cold just then, eyes raking over your form, studying your face to gauge your emotions at that moment. “Tell me what happened on Friday night.” 

 The embarrassment overtook you again, and you ripped your eyes from his. Focusing once more on your hands, you twisted the end of your sweater around your fingers. There wasn’t any use in keeping the ruse up any longer. It’s not like you’d be dancing the routine any time soon. So, you finally gave in and confessed to your boyfriend in a quiet mumble. 

 He leaned forward, tilting his body close to yours so that he could hear you better. “I didn’t hear that, love. Speak up.” 

 Clenching your fists in sudden annoyance, you stared at him, already feeling the crimson pooling in your cheeks. “I said- I was taking a dance class, okay?! And I fell and hurt my ankle- the instructor said it would be fine, but obviously, she isn’t a doctor…” 

 Silence filled the entire room after that, and it was charged with equal amounts of confusion and hurt. “Why in the world are you taking a dance class?” 

 “Because- I want to be good at dancing…” You exclaimed, staring into Hyunjin's eyes with what you hoped was a fierce expression. “I fucking suck at it- and- and you’re just so amazing, and I… I wanted to surprise you with a routine that I had learned all on my own. But then, I hurt myself, so that’s never gonna happen now.” 

 “Don’t say that.” 

 “Say what?” You canted your head to the side, watching as the emotions erupted across your boyfriend's face. First, it was anger, that you had kept such a secret from him for so long, then it was sadness, that you had felt the need to prove yourself in any way to him. 

 “Say that you suck at dancing,” he began, as he moved forward and clasped either of your hands in his. He brought them close to his mouth, lips hovering near your skin and pressing a few soft kisses to your knuckles. “You’re great at it, baby, don’t doubt yourself. And I was never amazing right off the bat. It took me a long time and lots of hard work to get where I am today.”

 “Yeah, but some people are just naturally born with it, and I don’t think I am. So… that’s why I was trying to improve.” You shrugged slowly, a zap of energy coursing through your veins each time Hyunjin pressed a fervent kiss against your hands. 

 “Well, I always think that improvement is good. But, there has to be a balance. You can’t simply ignore your health just because you want to get better at something.” Your boyfriend said in a calm voice, the warmth of it vibrating on your flesh and softening some hard part inside of you. “And besides, even if you weren’t born with the gift of dance - which I don’t believe to be true - there are still other gifts that you have that are unique and wonderful to you, baby. You shouldn’t compare yourself to me, or anyone else, for that matter.” 

 You gave him a frown, eyes locked on his mouth that kept nearing your knuckles and pressing kisses there. “I know, but… it’s just hard sometimes, you know? To be dating such a… talented man.” 

 A tiny sound of pain - of heartbreak - fled from Hyunjin’s mouth then, and suddenly, he was pulling you towards him. Fitting his arms around your waist, he squeezed on tight. In an instant, you melted into the touch, burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck and inhaling his calming, sweet scent. 

 “I’m so sorry that you’ve felt like this, sweetheart. I had no idea.” He mumbled close to your ear, imprinting a soft kiss against the exposed skin there. “How can I make it up to you, darling? How can I change things, so that you don’t think so poorly of yourself anymore?” 

 You positioned yourself away from him a tiny bit, offering him a light smile, “Babe, you don’t have to do anything for me. My low self-esteem when it comes to dancing isn’t your fault, so don’t worry about it.” 

 He leaned in, kissing your lips gently. “Yes, but I don’t like the thought of you feeling so down about your abilities…” his voice trailed off into silence, as he contemplated what he could do for you. “I know- I’m going to nurse you back to health, and when your ankle is completely healed, I’ll help you continue learning that dance routine from your class. How does that sound, love?” 

 You kissed him back, hot breaths mingling slightly in the passion of the moment. “I’d like that very much, but… don’t you have your schedules?” 

 Hyunjin waved a nonchalant hand in the air like he didn’t have so many people expecting high standards from him every single day. “I can still help you and do my job, baby- it isn’t rocket science.” 

 You contemplated his idea over in your head. You hadn’t liked him trying to teach you different dances in the past, but perhaps that was because of your issues and not because of his teaching. And now that your struggles with the thing were out in the open, you got the feeling that your boyfriend would be extra careful when teaching you - treat you extra gently when explaining certain moves. 

 “Okay, I like the idea,” you decided, nodding your head slowly in approval. A wide smile cracked across your lips as you stared at his face that was alight with happiness and contentment, “When do we start?” 

 “How does eight weeks from now sound? To give your ankle plenty of time to heal.” 

 Gently carding a few fingers through his light, peachy-pink silky locks, you bent into him, the smile still plastered onto your face as you gave his mouth another kiss which felt like the hundredth one in the last hour. “Sounds perfect.” You said, and soon he was smirking against your lips, before tightening his grip around your hips, yanking you ever closer to his form, and smashing his mouth against yours in a fiery, loving kiss. 

 Fin. 

© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

Hey loves, part I to "The Devil's Rose" may come out later than I intend it too, I have some issues going on. But!- 👀 I do have a quick summary of the story.

Felix, Chris, and Y/N make a visit to an old friend of theirs, Jisung, after a complicated interaction with spirits at an inn. Though it was unfortunate, Y/N did learn from Jisung that she has flaws in her medium abilities.

❗️❗️(Note: From the snippets post I made, some things have changed in the plot, but the overall storyline remains the same.) ❗️❗️

lord have mercy...

cashmere and forevers (sharp edges epilogue)

{ 18+ only. minors/ageless blogs dni. ≡ masterlist ≡ series masterlist }

pairing: hyunjin x afab reader | wordcount: 11k | genre: painter au, romance, brief smut | general warnings: christmas special, events occur one year after the ending of sharp edges. ungrateful kkami (affectionate), mentions of past angst, suggestive content, fluff, sharp edges citrus brainrot, food & drinking. contains explicit sexual content, more warnings under the cut. warnings contain spoilers. thank you to everyone who has given sharp edges some love. ♡ it is mandarin season, friends. 🍊

“Goodbye Mrs. Hwang, Mr. Hwang. Thank you so much for coming over.” You wave at them as they’re making their way to the elevator. “Goodbye Kkami, too! Merry Christmas!” 

“Bye mom, bye dad!” A warm hand presses itself on the small of your back. Hyunjin leans against you, squeezing you gently against the frame of the door. His breath is warm when it touches your hair. When he speaks, you can almost feel the vibrations of his voice in your chest, like an echo of your own heartbeat. “Bye Kkami, you be a good dog, right? Don’t—” 

The small chihuahua that Mrs. Hwang is holding in her arms groans before letting out a loud bark, making Hyunjin’s parents laugh at the scene. They wave at you as the elevator doors open, and Mr. Hwang has the grace of grabbing one of Kkami’s front paws to make him wave back at Hyunjin. You wait until they’ve disappeared before closing the door of your apartment and locking it.

“Please stop laughing at me,” Hyunjin begs, wrapping you snuggly in his arms and letting you rest the side of your face in the crook of his neck. “It hurts my pride. I’ve only ever spoiled this dog, I’ve never even raised my voice at him… Why can’t he love me?”

“Maybe that’s his love language,” you suggest, looking up to place a few kisses along Hyunjin’s jaw. “The one he has for you only, you know? You’re special.”

“Shut up.” Hyunjin frames your face with his large hands and you gaze at him, at his eyes full of stars, at his wine-stained mouth. His burgundy lips curve into a soft smile as he runs his tongue on them, leaving them moist, and glossy. Inviting. “If you’re naughty, you’re not getting your present. Think about it.” 

You can hardly take your eyes off his mouth. “We did say no gifts,” you remind him. This is the first Christmas you spend as a couple, officially living in what used to be your apartment but is now yours and Hyunjin’s. “Unless you’re suggesting the gift isn’t from you… Does that mean Santa is real, then?”

The smile turns playful. “I’m saying only good girls get their Christmas presents.” Hyunjin pulls away from you before leaning right back, tilting his head as he brings his face closer to yours. His breath smells like the red wine you’ve had with the beef, rice cakes and pajeon. His breath smells like the love you have for him and it makes you drunk. 

Warmth fills you when Hyunjin’s hands move to your waist, pressing you closer to him. You bite your lip, eager to kiss him. He wants it just as much as you—this, you can see in his eyes. The color of his irises might be dark brown but they are always full of light when Hyunjin looks at you. 

You are in love with Hyunjin, and he is in love with you. So he kisses you, pressing his plush lips against yours gently as if he were afraid to hurt you. But he could never hurt you. Not like that. His mouth tastes like wine and like the mandarin cake you had for dessert. His lips are sticky with the honey glaze it was covered in. Hyunjin’s mouth is sweet, sweet, sweet. Sweeter than any dessert, than any sunset. Not cloying, not sickening. You will never have enough of him. You will never not want to drown in him, in the warmth of his body, in the smoothness of his tongue as it twirls in your mouth. You will never not love him. 

Hyunjin deepens the kiss, breathing you in. You give him your air, your love. His mouth controls yours, the scalding kisses, the wet noises of your mouths lewd enough to make you dizzy. You feel his smile against you, so you kiss him back with yours. 

A faint sigh escapes you when he pulls away for air, but the sight of his flushed cheeks would be enough to mend any scar on your soul. 

“I still can’t quite tell if you’ve been a good girl or not,” Hyunjin teases, leaving a small peck on your nose. “I think I will have to study your case a little more.” 

You giggle, heat spreading at the back of your neck and between your legs. Hyunjin must sense it because he pulls you by the waist, pressing you flush against him. You have to take a deep breath to calm down, the fluttering of your heart a little too distracting—but certainly not as much as the way Hyunjin’s hands are waltzing on your body. “We really said no gifts, Hyun, just a dinner at a nice restaurant,” you remind him as if he suffered from memory loss. “To save money.”

Hyunjin nods but shakes his head with indifference, his burgundy smile blinding you. “So you’re telling me you didn’t get me anything, angel love?” 

Hyunjin’s beauty hits you every time you lay your eyes upon him but never quite the same way. Black hair framing a face that would make angels weep. A mouth that dances. Eyes you like to get lost in, jumping to your demise in them. Tonight, he reminds you of lights through a window on a rainy day, little droplets running along the glass, diffusing the colorful lights like tiny miracles. You lick your lips just to taste him again, just a little more, taste the kiss he gave you. 

You stare at him in silence, your gaze flicking from his eyes to his mouth to the nice sweater he’s wearing to the small Christmas tree at the back of the living room. You try to come up with some excuse for the bag you’ve hidden in your side of the closet. The one decorated with pretty ribbons. The one with Hyunjin’s name on it. 

“I knew it.” Hyunjin doesn’t even need your response to know. One would say that he can read you like an open book but that’s not quite right. Hyunjin reads you the way a troubled man reads poetry. “Of course I got a gift for my girlfriend,” he adds before taking your mouth again and this time, the kiss is a little deeper.

Your back hits the wall behind you and you jump, surprised, as if you had forgotten that walls existed. As if you had forgotten that buildings existed, with floors too and ceilings and Christmas trees and dirty dishes in the sink. When Hyunjin kisses you, there is only him, and the taste of a cake you’ve baked with the Jeju mandarins he bought this morning. His hand finds your face again, cupping your cheek swiftly as if he feared you would evade him. But he had you locked in the moment he sat next to you in a painting class, and you have no wish to escape this sweet prison. 

You grab him, his shirt first then his waist, overly aware of the belt holding his jeans. You deepen the kiss and one might think you are trying to choke Hyunjin with your tongue—and one might be surprised to find out that it makes Hyunjin cum hard when you choke him with anything. 

But, once again, Hyunjin pulls away. His eyes, hooded by the hunger he only has for you, are fixated on your mouth. He bites his lip so hard you’re afraid he’ll cut it open. If he did, you would simply kiss him better, same as he would do for you. Someone could have ripped your chest open and he would kiss the wound until it was mended and healed and gone. 

“It’s a time-sensitive gift,” Hyunjin explains. From what you can feel in his jeans, he’s seriously considering giving you something else instead of the present. “Let’s go.” 

Hyunjin takes your hand in his and drags you towards the bedroom. You pass through the kitchen which is a mess of plates and pots and containers. When he senses your hesitation, he squeezes your hand tighter in his. “I’ll clean everything later, my angel. Let me give you the gift.” 

You could resist. You could insist that the saucepans need to at least soak if they’re not going to be washed now, that there are leftovers to put in the fridge. But you don’t really mind, and it’s good. It’s good to just exist with Hyunjin, not having to pretend to be the most responsible person. Recently, he had started leaving some clothes in the dryer instead of taking them out immediately. 

That day, you had needed to sit down. Your clean laundry was in the washer but you sat on the edge of the bathtub, looking at the clothes in the dryer. Hyunjin’s clothes for the most part, and some of yours. He always checked your laundry basket when he started his, so that day he had washed a few of your dark t-shirts along with his. And he had left them there before going out for drinks with Minho and Changbin. 

Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. You thought that you couldn’t love, that your heart had died after being starved for too long. Worse yet—not only had it been starved, it had been fed something foul. And the murk had run through your veins for a long while, rendering you blind to everything.

Everything except the color orange, apparently. “It’s mandarin season,” Hyunjin had told you, but he might just as well have said, “I will remind you that you have a heart and that it can love.” 

You had folded Hyunjin’s laundry and yours with tears in your eyes. The day after, Hyunjin had washed your favorite coffee mug to make sure it would be there for you in the morning. Not a single word had been spoken about it. Or about the other things. When one cooked the other’s favorite food, when one took it upon themselves to clean all the windows or buy the fancy fabric softener to make the bed sheets smell sweet and fresh. 

Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. And now you were folding your boyfriend’s laundry and he was washing your dishes and he kissed you like he was a painter and you were a canvas. Like he was paint and you were the paint brush. 

Like he was a dancer, and you were the music. 

Hyunjin kisses the top of your head when you make it to the bedroom. “Sit on the bed and close your eyes, will you, love?” His voice is soft yet blood orange. If he asked you to bash your head against the wall you would do it. If he asked you to kiss him until you both drowned into each other, you would do it. 

So you sit on the edge of the bed and close your eyes, your heart beating fast. “Hyun, while you’re at it, why don’t you get your gift too,” you suggest, suppressing a laugh. “I hid it behind the box where I keep my summer clothes.” 

Hyunjin’s laugh could heal masses and you listen to it like an experienced hiker listens to the sounds of the forest around them, finding prodigies in it. The brushing of leaves, creaking of trunks. Bird songs, animal calls. Hyunjin is the forest and the bird song all at once. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it, you really didn’t hide it that well!” You laugh with him, keeping your eyes closed. 

Hyunjin leaves the room for a few minutes. “Where did you hide the gift then?” You try to think—if it’s not in the closet, there aren’t many places it can be.

His voice answers you from the hallway—he went into the living room before making his way to the bathroom. “You can’t reach the top shelf.” He laughs again. “It was so easy to hide it.” 

You scoff. “I totally knew it was there.” But when Hyunjin returns to the bedroom, he sits next to you and kisses you so deeply that you forget your bluff. Hyunjin rarely just kisses you. Sometimes he does but it feels more like a delicate mist over a field of wildflowers. Sometimes his kisses feel like hurricanes. Sometimes they feel like warm coffee in the morning or a glass of expensive gin. 

Hyunjin lets go of your mouth. “Smell this,” he whispers into your ear. You hear something being put close to your face, so you inhale deeply. 

Nostalgia fills you at the same time as the scent fills your lungs. A rich scent, floral, reminding you of a sunrise. A familiar scent, one that you could make out anywhere.

You smile against the jasmine flowers that are tickling your skin. “Hyunjin—”

“Okay, open your eyes now.” 

Hyunjin is holding a small package wrapped in a cardboard box he painted himself. He painted jasmines on it and they are so lifelike that you can barely make out the real branch of jasmine that’s attached to the box. It has a white silk ribbon around it, tied in an elegant bow. The smell of the flowers fills you with memories of the first time Hyunjin gave you the same flower. It was the morning of the day he came back. 

Jasmines smell like sunrises and love. Just that. And not just any love—Hyunjin’s love. They smell like folded laundry and a cup of tea prepared just because he thought you wanted one. They smell like love at first sight. They smell like letters sent from Australia, like watercolors drying on skin, like Jeju mandarins. 

You take the box that Hyunjin is handing to you but you don’t open it yet. You don’t need to. The box could be empty and it would be alright. He painted the flowers on them so delicately it makes you want to cry. Even without that. Even without the box and the painted jasmines and the real flowers. You are in love with Hyunjin and he is in love with you, and it is enough. 

“Open yours first?” you suggest, blushing even harder than when he was pressing his crotch against you. “It isn’t much…” 

Hyunjin checks the time on his watch. “Okay, we have enough time.” 

“What? Where are we going?” You take the bag and give it to him. 

“Angel. You’ll find out soon.” Hyunjin shakes his head but smiles as he focuses on the bag you’ve put together for him. 

You couldn’t resist buying it when you saw it at a store—it was a simple back with a white background, decorated with two mandarins on it. One of the oranges had been split in two and the other one was intact. On that one, you had hand drawn a little face, just two dots for the eyes and a smile for its mouth. 

Hyunjin touches the face you drew, his elegant fingers tracing it gently. Your gaze trails away momentarily, making its way to his bedside table where you see the orange plushie you gave him that time. You often catch him looking at it and it never fails to make your heart flutter. 

“You really didn’t have to get me anything,” he says. “But that’s a little hypocritical of me to say that, isn’t it?” 

You let out a soft laugh. You’ve missed him. He is often at the dance school and you are often giving art classes or attending exhibits. But it’s alright. Sometimes you are already asleep when he gets home, and the sound of his shower wakes you up gently. You kiss him when he slides under the covers and pulls you against his tired body, but you know he is grateful for this tired body. His damp hair often smells like your shampoo. 

Often, he makes love to you then, the water from his hair running on your skin like tiny miracles. He whispers his scarlet love into your ear or your pussy, fucks it deep into you, he unmakes you and makes you over and over again, and you are grateful for your tired body, your filled cunt, your sore throat. You kiss Hyunjin’s neck to soothe the ache from your fingers or your teeth. You will never not love him. 

Hyunjin opens his gift excitedly, humming his favorite song of the moment. The gift is quite simple—you got him the paint brushes he had been drooling over for the past few weeks as well as fancy oil paints to go along with them, as well as his favorite hand cream, the one from Paris. You also bought him a bracelet. It was mostly silver except for the small bead of sapphire that decorated it. Two months ago, he had unfortunately broken his favorite bracelet and it couldn’t be fixed—so you just figured you could get him a new one.

“Sapphire,” Hyunjin comments. He lifts his gaze from the bracelet and he looks at the necklace around your neck, the one he gave you the same day the jasmines were delivered to your place. The chain is delicate, made of silver too, and the oval pendant had an authentic Australian sapphire on it. 

“You know the symbolism behind sapphire, don’t you?” You touch the pendant, remembering that day in the studio. How Hyunjin had danced for you, just for you, to show you that he was whole again. That day, he had said that sapphires were a synonym for eternal love. 

“Oh…” Hyunjin returns his attention to his gift and you take it from his palm to help tie it safely around his wrist. It looked stunning against his honey skin, resting on his elegant wrist bone. “It’s too much, angel love.” 

“It’s not. If you don’t like it, we—”

Hyunjin takes your hand in his, staring into your eyes, pouring orange sunsets into your soul. “I love it. Thank you so much.” He pulls you into a kiss that tastes like wine and sapphires. You kiss him back, basking in the wetness of his mouth, the luxury of his lips. “Thank you, my angel,” he says into your mouth. “I love you.” 

You kiss him with a smile. “I love you too, Hyun.” But when you try to resume the kiss, he nods and sits straight, putting the jasmine-adorned box back into your hands. 

“Your turn,” he insists. 

You undo the ribbon carefully, the cool silk reminding you of vermilion reds and making love blindly and painting blacks on a canvas. You put the flowers and ribbon aside to discover the contents of the box. 

A white envelope catches your eye and you stare at Hyunjin, puzzled. He simply invites you to open it with eager nods of his head, his long hair flowing with him. You like looking at his hair when he dances. He often dances just for you, moving his body to the sound it makes when you fuck yourself while watching him. He dances in the same way he fucks you, like he needs it to live, like he lives to dance or to make love to you. Like he had his hip fixed just so he could fuck you deeper. Like he is running away from a fire or, maybe, like he is becoming the flames. Like he will never not love you. 

The envelope contains concert tickets. Good seats, too—excellent even. And not just any tickets… You tried to get tickets for this concert but they sold out immediately as this music group might be your favorite—but they’re also excessively popular. By the time you decided you as an adult should spend this outrageous amount of money on tickets to see a concert, there were no tickets left. Except you are holding four of them in your hands right now.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” You can’t take your eyes off the pieces of paper you’re holding. “HOW DID YOU GET THIS?”

You heard Hyunjin’s smile coating his voice as the words made it out of his lips. “I’d love to say that I know a guy who knows a guy and whatnot, but really I just bought them the day they went on presale.”

“PRESALE? THAT’S SO MUCH MONEY!” 

Hyunjin giggles when he takes the tickets from your hands and presses his thumb against your lips. “We have neighbors,” he reminds you. “I know we said we should save money, okay? But I wanted today to be special for you. I wanted to make you happy.”

You look at him, at the way he beams at you. “You make me happy every day.” There’s a lump forming in your throat. “Hyunjin… Thank you so much. You’ll come with me? Please? Let’s go with Minho and Felix!” 

“Of course I’ll go with you, my angel.” Hyunjin pushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re so beautiful one of the guys from the group will try to steal you away from me.” Your face turns boiling hot in a matter of milliseconds, but Hyunjin doesn’t let you look away from him. “So beautiful…” he repeats, observing you carefully, leaning closer to you. “I swear you drive me crazy.” 

Hyunjin kisses you softly, his fingers entangled in your hair, his other hand running up your thigh. 

“No one can take me away from you,” you point out. “No one. I love you, Hyunjin.”

“My angel.” He just breathes it into your mouth and you taste his words. They taste just like how jasmine flowers smell. “There’s something else in the box.” 

You do remember him saying the gift was time sensitive—but the concert is in two months, so you look at the box again. There’s something else in it, wrapped in periwinkle paper. It’s soft in your hands and you can guess it’s fabric before you’ve unwrapped it fully.

It’s a scarf. A beautiful cashmere scarf, its color a turquoise so deep you can’t believe it’s real. It’s like you’re holding a piece of the ocean, the ripples in the fabric mimicking the gentle waves of the sea, the color an exact replica of an ocean under a sunny day. It’s as soft as silk, feeling like a thousand kisses on your skin. You immediately wrap it around your neck and shoulders, letting it embrace you. 

“Oh wow, Hyun.” You caress the scarf again. “It’s so soft. And pretty.”

Hyunjin looks at you intently. “Just like you, angel love. It looks perfect on you, just as I imagined.” You had thought that he was about to kiss you, but instead Hyunjin gets up from the bed and offers you his hand to take. “Alright, we’ve gotta go now.”

“Go where?”

“Well I gave you this scarf to keep you warm. We’re going out.”

“But it’s Christmas night, where can we even go?” Still, you get up and take his hand as he guides you towards the living room. 

“Dress warmly,” he advises. As you’re zipping up your best boots, you hear a notification from Hyunjin’s phone. “The car’s here,” he tells you. “Are you ready?”

But he doesn’t need you to answer. He adjusts the cashmere scarf so that it covers you best and actually zips up your padded coat, whose dark gray color looks nice with the turquoise scarf. 

And so you leave your apartment like that, with dirty dishes in the sink and a few pancakes still in the pan, drying there. But Hyunjin holds your gloved hand as you make your way to an Uber that’s waiting for you. You try to calm your heart rate as you look at the road from the window, but you realize you’re not afraid. 

How could you be afraid? You are with Hyunjin. He has an arm around your shoulders as he makes small talk with the driver who is pointing out that it’s starting to snow a little. 

After some time, Hyunjin asks you to close your eyes again and you oblige. You trust him. You trusted him with your heart once and you never regretted that. You trust him with your life. Every time he kisses you, you hand him a piece of your soul and he hands you a piece of his, and both are safe with the other. Nothing else needs to be said. 

You can’t see but Hyunjin guides you slowly as a soft breeze caresses your face. You feel the snowflakes in it, you feel them melt on your warm cheeks. “Where are we going?” you ask, but you know he won’t tell you.

Hyunjin wraps an arm around your waist. You can see lights from behind your eyelids, but you can’t hear much. Some cars. In the distance, Christmas music, with bells and joy in every note. “Do you remember last year after I came back?” Hyunjin asks, his voice softer than the cashmere around your neck. “Do you remember the movie we watched?”

You think about it, but not for long. “Of course I remember.” You walk with Hyunjin, completely unafraid. “The winter movie, with the guy trying everything to seduce the girl and her head was so deep into her own ass that she didn’t even see that he loved her!” You couldn’t forget that movie. Or rather, you couldn’t forget the taste of the mandarins that you shared with Hyunjin as you watched it, couldn’t forget the way he had fucked you so hard on your couch just after that you had almost blacked out.

“Yes, that one.” Hyunjin stops and you stop too, the excitement alone enough to keep you warm. “Okay, wait here. Don’t move. Don’t open your eyes.” 

So you wait there. And you don’t open your eyes. The music is a little louder here and you let it remind you of good things. You let it remind you of the orange plushie and the portrait that Hyunjin gave you. He painted you from memory. That portrait is still displayed somewhere, but not in your apartment anymore—Hyunjin wanted it at the dance school. You see it every time you walk in the upstairs hallway on your way to Hyunjin’s dance studio. You see the beauty he sees in you. 

You hear Hyunjin’s voice faintly too, as well as another person's. But it doesn’t take long until he’s back.

“Angel love,” he tells you. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Hyunjin is standing in front of you, holding two pairs of ice skating shoes. His smile is bright enough to light up the whole entire world, you think, but the location you are at has adequate lighting and you make out an outdoor ice skating rink. It’s not very large, but the fence around its circle shape is decorated with amber-color string lights. 

Your heart drops in your chest—you don’t even know where to look. “Hyunjin—”

Hyunjin hands you a pair of ice skates. “You thought I forgot what we said when we watched that movie? I didn’t.” He hadn’t forgotten. And you hadn’t either, but you never thought it would be for real. It had simply left your mind somewhere between the end of the movie and the second time Hyunjin had drilled you into the couch that night. 

The movie was simple, basic, but one of the things that the guy tried to do to get the girl was to take her ice skating at night—and that had been the moment she had realized she loved him, too. Your heart was already full of love then, but you had watched the scene with endearment, commenting that it looked so romantic and so fun. 

“Next Christmas, I’ll take you ice skating,” Hyunjin had said.

And today is next Christmas and you are sitting on a wooden bench as Hyunjin helps you into your skates. He gets into his and guides you into the rink after the employee he was talking to earlier wishes you a good time and reminds the both of you that he has hot chocolate if you want some. 

You’re too stunned to speak. You haven’t skated since your teenage years and it takes you a few minutes to remember the feel of it, or maybe it’s because Hyunjin took you by surprise. There’s no one else around, just the two of you, the faint music playing somewhere and the sounds of your blades sliding on the ice. 

Hyunjin takes your two hands in his and skates backwards just so he can face you. He’s beautiful, his cheeks pink, the snowflakes in his hair. The love in his eyes, which you know is the same color as the love in yours. “I love you, my angel.” 

“I love you too, baby.” You’re skating very slowly. He guides you just as much as you guide him. “Hyunjin… this is… this is the best gift I’ve ever received.” 

He smiles and brakes gently. You’re not as comfortable as he is with the whole concept of braking and you stumble against Hyunjin a little—thankfully, you both end up against the sturdy fence before any of you can fall down.

And you laugh. And he laughs. And it’s good and easy. There are tears on your faces but you don’t know if they’re from laughing or from the overwhelming emotions taking over you. As if you were no longer in control. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” you admit, grateful for the little pause against the fence. Ice skating looked a lot easier in the movie than it is in real life—you’re a lot less graceful than the girl had been. 

“A good dream, I hope?” His smile is shy then—coy, almost. Hyunjin keeps your hands in his and you wish it wasn’t so cold and that you didn’t need to wear gloves. You miss his skin against yours. 

You kiss his cheek, feeling the cool snowflakes under your skin. “I can’t believe you did this for me, Hyunjin…” And it’s true. You can’t believe it. “You’re crazy.”

“I did say that you drive me crazy, angel love.” Hyunjin laughs, and it sounds like a song.

Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. You thought that your heart was dead and cold and dark. But you were wrong. And you’re grateful you were wrong.

You often think about Mrs. Yoo. You took over her painting classes and then took over more classes, too, until you had to leave your other job and work at the art studio full-time. Some days you give the regular lessons and some days you give private ones. Once in a while, you discover that Hyunjin booked an hour of private lessons. Sometimes you paint together in the art studio where you fell in love with him at first sight.

Sometimes you suck his cock dry just to hear his moans and his whimpers fill the empty room. 

But you often think about how he was put on your path. Or how you allowed him to change the atoms that make you you. Sometimes you wonder what your life would be like if he hadn’t taken the easel next to yours. If he hadn’t brought a mandarin from Jeju with him that day. 

Sometimes you wonder how it is possible for your heart to love this easily, never wanting anything in return. Sometimes you wonder how it is possible that you just love and that it is enough. The easiest, the purest kind of love. Sometimes love looks like a Jeju mandarin. Sometimes love looks like going away and adding another crescent-shaped scar on our body just to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror. Sometimes love looks like a white silk ribbon and watercolor bruises. Sometimes love looks like a ripe peach, like peeling a persimmon for someone else even though we don’t like the taste of them.

Sometimes love looks like snowflakes melting in black hair, like a burgundy mouth, like turquoise cashmere. But to you, love just looks like Hyunjin. 

“I came here to tell you something,” he says after a while. “Something important. You might want to break up with me, actually.”

You think he’s joking—surely he’s joking—but one look at his face reveals that he, in fact, is not joking. Not at all. Hyunjin has turned to face you and is staring at you with a very serious expression on his face. 

Your thoughts run well ahead of you, evading you like water through your fingers. Tell you something? That would make you break up with him?

Has he cheated on you? Why would he rent a whole fucking ice skating rink to tell you that he’s cheating? Why would he do that on Christmas night after you’ve had a very nice dinner with his parents? Why? Why would he cheat on you, and with who?

The words spill from your lips before you can stop them. “Are you seeing someone else?” Your voice is shaking. “Hyunjin? Tell me please.”

“No, god, NO!” Hyunjin buries his face into his hands. When he gets out of there, he’s red all over and panic has set in his eyes. “Never, my love. Never. I love you, only you. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. That’s… that’s what I want to talk about.”

Your heart seems to have processed Hyunjin’s words—it calmed down in your chest a little, but there are still a few tears threatening to roll down your cheeks and your mind is still running marathons. 

“But I did lie to you,” Hyunjin goes on, “the night I confessed my feelings to you. I gave you a rose and I told you it came with a label that said…” Hyunjin paused, hesitating.

You finished his sentence for him. “That one light pink rose meant love at first sight.”

“Yes.” Hyunjin gulped thickly. “I lied. I’m sorry. There was no label. I just bought the rose to confess my love and when the time came I… I got scared and…”

You stare at Hyunjin as if he is speaking another language. As if you can’t understand what he’s saying. Except you understand very well—your mind stops in its tracks, millimeters away from crashing into a brick wall. 

“There was no label with the rose?” You feel a strange sensation in your chest, something that you think you recognize but something you’re not sure belongs there right now. “You made that up?” 

Hyunjin nods slowly. “Yes. I’m sorry, angel.”

“What about the sapphire? On the necklace?” You suddenly become aware of the silver ring around your neck, protected by your cashmere scarf. “Was that made up too?” 

Hyunjin bites his lip. “Not really. Actually, I took the information from the rings section, so I don’t know if it applies to necklaces too… I mean it’s not as made up as the rose one, for sure.” 

And then you know with certainty what the sensation in your chest is when a few ugly cackles escape your throat before you burst out in a hysterical fit of laughter. You laugh so hard that the tears do roll on your cheeks, only not for the dramatic reason they had been brought into your eyes in the first place. You laugh so hard that you slide against the fence behind you, finding yourself on your knees, on the ice, a hand on your stomach. You laugh so hard it hurts. 

“Angel,” Hyunjin says but you barely hear him. “Angel, are you… are you okay? I’m sorry I lied, I loved you the moment I saw you, I—”

“YOU SCARED THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF ME, HWANG HYUNJIN—” You manage to speak most of the sentence with the little oxygen that is left in your lungs. You take a few deep breaths, always interrupted by more laughter. “Don’t ever do this to me again! I thought you were having an affair or something!” 

The ice is cold against your knees but you don’t mind it. Still, Hyunjin helps you up and looks you right in the eyes. “You’re not mad at me? Because I lied?”

“Are you kidding me?” You take off your gloves, shoving them into your pockets—to hell with cold. You brush your fingers in Hyunjin’s hair, trace his jawline with your index. “Hyunjin, that’s one of the most adorable things I’ve ever heard.” 

Hyunjin lets out a long sigh, relieved. He pulls you against him, kissing the top of your head over and over. “Thank god,” he manages between kisses. “I couldn’t live with myself knowing I had lied to you… Not knowing if your feelings might not have been the same if…”

“Hyunjin, do you really think my feelings for you are based on a hypothetical label that hypothetically came with a rose you bought me? Did you forget that you also bought chocolate cake for me on that same trip to the store? And a toothbrush because you wanted me to spend the night. And condoms. You can’t be serious right now. Rethinking our whole relationship… because you panicked when you confessed?” 

You felt so warm inside. Like on the first day of spring after a cold summer. Like after a glass of wine, or after a shower. Sometimes, you get out of the shower only to find that Hyunjin drew something in the condensation on the mirror. Sometimes he draws a heart, or he writes ‘I love you’. One day, you found a whole scenery with a river and mountains in the mirror. That picture is still your phone background. 

“Now I feel like an idiot.” But Hyunjin is smiling so wide that you see his teeth. He looks like an angel in the amber light of the skating rink. He looks like a promise, like a blessing. But not like an idiot. “You really don’t mind? You still love me?”

You sigh but still kiss him, playing with his lips, with his tongue, just a few instants. He is the best kind of drug, but you can’t go long without tasting his mouth. “Hyunjin, I fell in love with you when you sat down next to me and you told me that it was mandarin season. I don’t care about the label on the rose, and I don’t care that you took your information on sapphire necklaces in the rings section. I love you, okay?”

“My angel.” Hyunjin kisses you again, the act warming up your whole body. He never just kisses you. He always, always does so mindfully, like he is trying to communicate something and his kisses are a form of sign language. “Angel love.” It’s all he says, and it’s all he has to say. You do not need a code to understand him. 

You are in love with Hyunjin, and he is in love with you. He rearranged your atoms, he restarted your dead heart, he made it so that it had never really been dead. As if it was all worth it. Because it was. One night, as he collapsed against you, spent, the both of you covered in a film of sweat, he had told you, “I’m grateful I got hit by a car. I’m glad the surgery didn’t work and that it broke me. I’m glad I needed the painting classes to stay alive. It was so that I could meet you. I would do it over and over again just to meet you once more.” 

It does not matter. The label on the rose, the label on the necklace. It does not matter as long as you get to live in a world where you can love him.

Hyunjin pulls away from the fence and drags you around for another lap around the rink. You skate with him in the quiet of the night, your hand in his. His other one disappears into the pocket of his coat and he fumbles around for a few seconds before pulling out a mandarin from his pocket. 

“Want some?” But he doesn’t wait until taking off his gloves and peeling the mandarin. You take the peels from him before they can fall on the ice and he turns around, offering you his other pocket for you to dispose of the peels. As your hand slides into the pocket, Hyunjin pushes a piece of the mandarin between your lips, and everything changes. 

First, you realize it is a real mandarin from Jeju—of course. Hyunjin wouldn’t settle for anything less. He’ll pass on other citrus, choosing to indulge in the absolute best only. The juice from the mandarin fills your mouth, coating your lips as you bite into it. It tastes like love.

It tastes like the ring in the pocket of Hyunjin’s coat.

You make eye contact with him, your hand still in the pocket, the peels from the mandarin surrounding the small piece of metal that your fingers brushed against. 

Hyunjin is smiling. A soft smile. A smile full of emotion. “Take it, angel love. It’s there for you.” 

Your hand is shaking but you manage to retrieve the ring and pull it out from his pocket. It sits in your palm. Gold, like the lights all around you. It has a slight curve where the orange stones are located. They shine brighter than the sun. This is a ring, you tell yourself. Just a ring. It feels light and yet it is heavy, heavy, heavy. 

Hyunjin takes the ring from you, holding it between his two fingers. “I loved you the moment I saw you,” he starts, his voice shaking just as much as your whole body is. His eyes are hopeful, though. He is handsome. “I saw you before you saw me, you know?” This was the first time you ever hear of that, but you listen, your gaze dancing between his eyes, his pretty lips, the gold and citrine ring he holds. “I was terrified of sitting with you. You were so beautiful… The way your hair fell on your shoulders, and how you placed all of your supplies. The colors of paint that you had with you. I loved you then. And I haven’t stopped loving you since.” 

Hyunjin takes a deep breath, his free hand reaching for your face. It is surprisingly warm. Like he is the sun, like he is warmth reincarnated. Like you will never feel the cold again once in your life, like you will not live another overcast day ever again. “You can think about it and you don’t have to say yes. But I bought this ring when I was in Australia. I’ve kept it ever since. It doesn’t mean anything. I chose it because I knew you’d like the colors on it. I will never not love you and I’d like to marry you someday. I want to give you all of my forevers.”

Love at first sight? What about it? 

Love is extensive. In the fabric of spacetime, love is everywhere at every moment, permeating each and every atom of everything. To some, this is a tragedy—how can they keep going knowing that even their worst moments were saturated with love, even invisible? There is comfort in darkness. There is comfort in thinking that they were alone, loveless, while they were prisoners of their own hearts, their own minds. 

But it is false. It’s false. 

Love at first sight is a man-made concept just as much as it is a beautiful disaster created by the energies of the universe. One might believe that a love that strikes at first sight is shallow, untrue. One might believe that love at first sight isn’t legitimate, that it can’t exist in the first place. 

Once upon a time, you were that person. And then you were proven wrong. Love at first sight is real and it turns out it is the kind of love that sticks to you. The kind of love that nothing can wash away, not distance, not sorrow, not the passage of time. Turns out it is the kind of love that only goes one way—it does not recede. It only grows deeper, stronger, and more beautiful. 

It is mandarin season. You are in love with Hyunjin and he is in love with you. And it is enough. 

“Yes,” you say, but it’s just a breath, and it escapes your mouth in a cloud of condensation. You realize you did not produce a sound at all. You breathe deeply, your lip quivering, your eyes anchored to Hyunjin’s. Your mouth tastes like mandarins, like love, when you speak. “Yes, yes, I want to marry you too. I love you.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes fill up with tears. He looks down at his feet almost as if he hadn’t expected this. “Are you sure?” he asks, staring at you once again. The tears in his eyes are tiny miracles or grand promises. “Are you really sure, my angel? You really want to be my wife?”

“Yes I’m sure, Hyunjin.” He tilts his head, his eyes stuck on your mouth. “I want you to be my husband.” You’re crying, and he is too. This is the purest kind of love. “I will never not love you.

“I will never not love you. My angel.” 

When Hyunjin kisses you, the earth doesn’t shake. The ground doesn’t split open into a rift, the stars do not fall from the sky. It’s just snowflakes, lazily twirling in the air as Hyunjin envelops your soul, as he kisses you with his wet, open mouth, humming and moaning into you. The peeled citrus is long forgotten, fallen on the ice of the rink where it will freeze. But you kiss Hyunjin’s mandarin mouth with urgency and he kisses yours with purpose. When Hyunjin kisses you, the world doesn’t end, but your heart is a volcano. Your heart is a forest fire, an ocean, an atomic bomb. Your heart is Hyunjin’s, and it is alive. 

When he breaks the kiss, Hyunjin presses his forehead against yours. He’s smiling uncontrollably, giggling sometimes, sometimes letting out a faint sob—it’s a mess, but you’re the same. He pulls you into his arms, holding you tight. You wish it weren’t so cold, that you were naked, that you felt him against your body, his soul dancing sins into yours. 

You never want to be without him. And, turns out, he never wants to be without you. 

Delicately, Hyunjin takes your hand in his to slide the ring on your ring finger. You both stand in the cold, staring at that sight. And what a sight it is. Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. But you had become it. You had become love itself. 

Nothing else needs to be said. 

Hyunjin seems to interpret your shaking as you being cold when really, you are simply overcome with emotion. Still, you let him take you towards the gate, then out of the rink. You help each other get rid of the skates and return them to the kind employee. Technicalities. It is cold, the wind growing harsher, but you don’t feel it, you just feel Hyunjin, his hand in yours, his eyes on you, his mouth on you. You wait for another car to come pick you up, and you make out on the back seat like horny teenagers. 

You cried when Hyunjin left his laundry in the dryer instead of folding it. You cried because that day, he finally allowed you to feel the weight of him in your life. Tangible, real. The small burden of folding laundry. The small burden of helping you write your two weeks' notice when you quit your job. The small burden of washing your forgotten dishes. The small burden of holding him and whispering comforting words into his ears when he, sometimes, wakes up in the middle of the night after a bad dream. He still gets those once in a while. Sometimes his brain short-circuits a little. But only a little. And you don’t love him any less. The burden of it, the beautiful, lovely weight of Hyunjin in your life. The colors of his soul. The sounds his lips make when he eats or when he kisses you. The love he draws on the bathroom mirror while you’re showering. Hyunjin’s weight on your body, Hyunjin’s cock, his voice, his eyes, his hands. Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. 

That night, you clean up the apartment together. Hyunjin washes the dishes while you gather everything and declutter the kitchen. He always offers to wash the dishes but that night, he says it’s because he doesn’t want you to take the ring off. Not now.

“I like the way it looks on you,” he says, his hands disappearing into the soapy water of the sink. 

You hug him from behind, raising yourself on your toes to kiss the back of his neck. He smells like himself and like outside air. “I bet it’ll look good with your cock, baby.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t answer right away, but you feel him take a deep breath. “I think so too, angel love.” For the rest of your life, you will be Hyunjin’s and he will be yours, but you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of him, of the way he exaggerates details when he tells a story, the way he peels mandarins or the way he cuts watermelon into perfect cubes. You’ll never get tired of him, his kisses, his steady breathing when he sleeps on his side of the bed. You’ll never get tired of him, of the butterflies you feel in your stomach when you unbuckle his belt, when you unzip his jeans. He smells good. 

Hyunjin’s cock is coming alive already when you slide your hand into his pants to cup him over his boxers, squeezing gently. And yet he carefully washes a serving plate as if it was just any other day—but the color of his cheeks shows his true feelings. And what you feel beneath your palm is even more telling. 

“You’ll be such a good husband,” you comment, feeling him up with a little more insistence. Hyunjin inhales sharply and twitches in your hand, eliciting a soft moan out of you, heat pooling between your legs. “I’ll be a good wife, I promise.”

“I know you will, my angel.” His voice is a little strangled, but he finally puts down the serving plate, the last of the dishes that needed to be washed. He twists his neck to look at you as he’s drying his hands with a towel. “That’s why I’m about to stretch your pretty pussy and fill you up.” 

You’ll never get tired of him. Of his cock hardening under your touch, of his gaze fucking you before he even touches you. Sometimes, he stares at you so intensely that it makes you wet. Sometimes you touch yourself to the thought of his eyes devouring you, analyzing you like a dance routine. 

Hyunjin turns around completely, kissing you hard. You leave his cock alone momentarily to wrap your arms around his neck, clinging onto him like you’re about to fall and he is your lifeline. 

He pulls your shirt off you. “I love you, babe.” When he kisses you this time, it’s slower, deeper, his tongue reaching dark corners of your mouth, exploring you not like a ruin but like a temple. 

The kissing leads you to your bedroom. You like making love to Hyunjin here, you like the lighting, the way it looks when he cums while you ride him, his eyes rolling at the back of his head, one hand holding onto the frame of the bed like you’re milking the soul out of him. 

That night, Hyunjin carefully removes the box he painted for you from the bed, removes the wrapping paper to free the bed. You sit on the mattress, pulling him in for a kiss, feeling his erection through his pants. Sometimes, you like to edge him for hours, rubbing yourself against him until he blows in his pants. At least he cleans up his mess after. 

But not tonight. Tonight, you rid him of his pants and underwear while he does the same to you. You like the feeling of his sweater against your bare skin but you still take it off him, eager to feel his toned body against yours. Hyunjin advances on the bed, making you retreat farther onto the mattress, kissing your lips, your face, your neck. Your hair. He kisses your breasts as soon as he frees them from your bra. 

“You know, the day that we met, the painting class,” he tells you, spreading your legs open. His hair is tickling your stomach as he leaves wet kisses there too. “I thought you were so pretty… I jerked off so many times that night…” 

Sex with Hyunjin is like a dancing routine, one that you know well. You know what he likes, you know what he loves. You know what will make him cry out, what will make him shy and blow huge loads. He knows how to make you moan, he knows how to make you chant his name like a prayer. He knows how to eat your cunt, he knows how to lick your slit to smear your essence over your pussy before driving you insane by putting his pretty mouth on your clit. Hyunjin knows how you like to be fucked. He knows you will cum hard if he chokes you or if he says into your ear that he loves you when he feels you clench. He knows you will want to taste his cum so he always gives you a taste, no matter how deep inside you he came. You like tasting him on your own fingers or his, but you prefer doing so on Hyunjin’s own tongue.

Tonight, Hyunjin moans when he takes in the sight of your cunt. “So creamy,” he says. “You should have told me you had a marriage kink, angel. I would have proposed a lot sooner.” 

What you want to say is you have a Hyunjin kink, but you lose your voice when his tongue finds your soaked folds, sending shivers throughout your whole body. Hyunjin looks good there between your legs. Sometimes he ties his hair behind his head before eating you out, especially when he intends on doing so for a long time. But you’re glad he didn’t tonight. You like the sight of your juices sticking to his black hair, drying there. 

“You smell so good…” Hyunjin’s breath tickles your sensitive pussy. “You taste so good too. Please cum on my mouth, angel. Then I’ll fuck you. Okay?”

What Hyunjin wants, Hyunjin gets—it’s not like you have much control over it anyway. If he decides he makes you cum with his mouth, he just does. No matter how hard you try to resist him, he’ll just make you cum.

That night, Hyunjin spreads your pussy lips open with one hand before making out with your cunt, slurping you just the same way he eats a mandarin from Jeju—not wasting a single drop of its sweet juice, worshiping every corner of you like he is a whole man of god and you’re god. Your pussy is his goddess, he often says. Your cunt is the altar he prays at, the canvas he paints, the floor on which he dances. 

Hyunjin cocks his head to the side, his forehead pressing against your thigh, forcing you to open your legs wider. He pushes his tongue into your tight hole, lapping at you at first, making you clench around it, making you scream with your mouth open. He is god. No, his mouth is the cross on which you beg to be nailed onto—let him tear you apart there, let him torture you, let him make you and unmake you. 

Hyunjin fucks you with his tongue, moving his head between your legs, smearing your juices all over his face and yourself and the sheets beneath you, staining him with your love. 

He isn’t exactly the man you met at the painting class. He is bolder, unafraid for the most part. He fucks you hard and a lot. He loves you hard and a lot. He paints but he dances too, teaching others how to move with purpose, how to let your body listen to the music because it knows. The heart knows. Your heart knows that Hyunjin is the only music you ever want to dance to. The music of his plush lips running along your pussy, making the pressure between your legs turn into a painful ache, a delightful torture. 

“I love you,” he whispers into your pussy but you feel it in your soul. “My angel.” 

You could cum from that, but instead Hyunjin pushes two fingers into your hole, stretching you, the squelching sound of that so lewd it makes you want to say a prayer. You want to keep watching, you want to see his face twist in pleasure when your taste overflows him but you can’t. Your head falls back on the mattress as Hyunjin closes his lips around your clit, giving it a few flicks of his tongue for good measure. A warning, a promise. You don’t need to see it, really—you’ve seen his slutty lips coated with your cream make heaven descend upon you more than once. You don’t need to see it but you’ll never get tired of it, of him, of the way he sucks and licks and plays with your clit. Of the way he loves you.

You’re close. You feel your wetness under you, Hyunjin’s fingers twirling inside of you, massaging your walls while he kisses and sucks your cunt. While his mouth fucks your clit. 

“Hyunjin Hyunjin Hyunjin Hyunjin—” You’re not just close, you’re about to cum. Hyunjin moans against you when you clench around his slender fingers, so he curls them to reach your sensitive spot, fucking you with his fingers and his mouth and his soul. 

Your whole body tenses up. You see stars when, finally, Hyunjin applies more pressure onto your g-spot while sucking hard on your clit. You come undone, you become a writhing mess on a cum-stained bed, and you cum, rubbing your pulsing cunt against Hyunjin’s pretty face. He waits until you are calmed down to retreat—while you recover from your high, Hyunjin cleans you up, drinking you like he hasn’t eaten in a month. 

When he leaves the warmth between your legs, you watch him lick you off his lips, watch him wipe his chin with the back of his hand. Hyunjin kneels on the bed, coming back up to kiss you, to share your taste with you. His cock grazes your thigh, his tip nudging your sensitive cunt, and you moan into his mouth. In response, he aligns himself with your slit and rubs his hard length onto you, coating himself with your cream.

“Please,” you beg as if he hadn’t just made you see stars with his mouth. But Hyunjin just rubs himself. 

He’s so hard and you clench around nothing. You reach for his cock between your legs, pressing your palm onto him to maximize the contact with his cock. 

Hyunjin grunts. “Fuck, you were right.” The sound of his voice, deep, thick, is enough to send another jolt of pleasure through you. The aftershock surprises you, but Hyunjin doesn’t stop rolling his hips to rub, rub, rub. “Your ring looks so good with my cock. Look, angel. You need to see. It’s so pretty.” 

You manage to rest yourself on your elbows to get a glimpse of it. Hyunjin’s cock, hard, leaking, his balls tight. Your hand on it, him using the slight bump of the ring to maximize his pleasure. “It is beautiful, baby,” you admit, still fucked out from your orgasm and haunted by Hyunjin’s tongue dancing inside you. You like the gold with the dark flush of his length. You’ll paint that someday soon. That and the colors you see when he makes you cum. Colors that only exist in Hyunjin’s mouth.

You’ll never get tired of him, of his body, toned and firm beneath your palms. His dancer’s body, his elegant limbs. The crescent-shaped scars on his upper thigh. The smell of his sweat, the taste of it, the taste of his cock as he fucks your mouth after he stretched your pussy. You’ll never get tired of his gentle voice when he calls you. You’ll never get tired of watching him dance, of watching him paint. Of watching him cum. 

Hyunjin leaves his position over you to lie down by your side, pressing your back flush against his chest. “I’ll fuck you so deep, angel love,” he promises into your ear. “As many times as you let me.” One of his hands wanders on your tits while the other lifts your leg. He doesn’t need help to enter you, he knows the way. He knows you by heart, like a song, like a dance. 

Hyunjin buries himself inside you with one thrust, the both of you crying out. Yes, yes, yes. This is where you belong. On his cock. Losing yourself, finding yourself, being made and unmade. This is where you want to die. This is where you started to live, not just be alive. His thick cock stretching you. His love filling you.

Hyunjin rolls his hips steadily, your cunt hugging him nicely. “So tight, baby.” You clench at that. “Fuck—wanna make me blow already, is that it?” 

Yes, no. You never want this to stop. You want him all inside of you, fucking his soul into you. “I love you,” is all you say. Nothing else needs to be said.

“I love you too, angel.” Hyunjin picks up a pace, pressing himself so hard against you that you are no longer on your side, not really—you're laying on your stomach, crying out every time Hyunjin slams into you and bottoms out. He is fucking you so deep you know he is bruising you. You hope he is painting your cunt in blues and purples before filling you with white. 

“Now, Hyun.” You can’t wait. You can’t stop moaning. He takes up all of the space inside you. The beautiful weight of his body on yours. The delightful stretch of his cock. The burden of it, the paradise of him. 

Hyunjin pulls out just to roll you on your back. He does like to look into your eyes when he cums. He likes to see it on your face, too, that you can feel his cum drip out of your hole. He likes to fuck you dumb, he likes to fuck you sloppy. Sometimes, he just likes fucking you deep and good and hard. 

You open your legs for him and he aligns his cock with your hole, staring into your eyes as he enters you again, meeting a lot less resistance than he did earlier. Hyunjin slams into you over and over, fucking his burgundy love into you. You clench as much as he’s twitching but none of you care to resist. Tonight is not like other nights. 

Tonight is better because there is a ring around your finger. Because Hyunjin thought you wouldn’t want to marry him—that you wouldn’t love him anymore—because he had made up the story with the pink rose and the label. Tonight is better because you fall in love with Hyunjin more and more every day. Someday, you will cease to exist because you will implode from the force with which you love and are loved. 

Tonight Hyunjin fucks you hard, kissing your lips, your neck, grunting and whimpering like a madman. He did say that you drive him crazy. He also used to say that you made him better. He made you better, he made you worse. He made you and unmade you.

You know he’s close when Hyunjin’s hand reaches between your leg and he traces circles around your clit. You feel your whole cunt open up like a flower, his cock hitting you hard, over and over. He is relentless. He is a force to be reckoned with. He is the man you will marry. 

Hyunjin pushes your hair away from your sweaty face. He is sweating too, but only looking more beautiful because of it. He kisses your forehead before delivering the sentence that makes you cum hard around his cock. “Someday, my angel, I’ll fuck a baby into you.” 

You cum forever, it seems, but you’ll never get tired of him. Your body convulses with the waves of pleasures that rip you into pieces—you cum so hard your vision blurs and you forget the world. It’s just you and him, Hyunjin. You’re floating, you’re falling. He cums hard, too, moaning prettily into your neck as he empties himself inside you, cock pulsing, his voice filling the room.

Hyunjin fucks you slowly, ultimately collapsing onto you one second after pulling out, a trail of his thick cum following his softening cock. He coats his fingers with himself before pulling his hand away from between your legs, and you lick him like ice cream, like a blessing from god. His taste is strong, addictive. 

Hyunjin pulls you against him. “My angel love.” His voice is sleepy. You’re tired too, but you hope you stay awake a few moments longer—you truly love the feeling of being so full with Hyunjin’s cum that it drips out of you.”

“Hyunjin,” you whisper, eyelids closing by themselves. “My Hyunjin.”

His warm mouth finds yours. He smells like sweat and sex and love. “I’ll never not love you, okay? He presses his hands against your back, like an embrace.

“I’ll never not love you.” Later that night, Hyunjin wakes you up with neck kisses and caresses on your ass. Later that night, after he fucked you for a second time, Hyunjin paints a bright blue sky over a turquoise sea and you watch him blend the colors into perfection. The canvas smells like sunlight. Hyunjin smells like the purest kind of love. 

You are in love with Hyunjin and he is in love with you. It is enough, but it won’t stop him from promising you the whole world or from peeling a mandarin for you, or from washing your dishes. You will always feel the delightful weight of him in your life when you fold his laundry or when you hear him read a bedtime story to the child he promised you on the night he proposed. It is enough. It is enough. It is enough. 

The End ♡

a/n: Hey everyone <3 If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas! If you don't, I hope you are having a good day where you are taking care of yourself and feeling loved. I wanted to say a big thank you to people who have taken the time to read this story & especially to those who have shared your love for it. As you know, this story means a lot to me, and I'm very grateful I was able to share this with you. This is the epilogue... But I do think I will be revisiting this fic once in a while, with one-shots and drabbles. So this isn't goodbye!

I hope the upcoming year is filled with peace & kindness, for all of you. I hope you see beauty in everything, I hope you find comfort in everything, too. Thank you. ♡

taglist ♡ @cb97percent @changbinluvr @neosracha @hwan-g @streetlight-s @j-0ne25 @tanyas97 @hyun-bun @americanokisses @aimeexx @upallnight-s @hyunskizz @lotus-dly @thestarseeker @skzho @simpsarzie @taeriffic @kittykatprincess15

you've got to be kidding me 😮

UNDERTONES

LEGEND 📓Release status/Rating · 🖤Pairing · 🪐Universe · 🏷️Genre/Trope · 🚨 Warnings

📜13.3K words | Approx. 1hr. read 📓One-shot, Explicit 🖤Hyunjin x (afab) Reader 🪐Perfume maker Hyunjin & Chef Reader 🏷️Romance, Smut, Hurt/Comfort(ish), Mutual Pining 🚨Reader discretion advised: Heavy mutual fantasizing, a lot of references to food and eating as sexual connotations, auditory voyeurism, public teasing, foot massage, masturbation, oral sex, unprotected sex, creampie. 📻Accompanying soundtrack 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

SYNOPSIS He dedicated his life to scents. You dedicated yours to taste. Your paths were bound to cross at some point. A story of scents dissolving on tastebuds.

For any other person, there were two types of smells: pleasant and unpleasant. You would either fill your lungs with it or block your nostrils from sensing that monstrosity. 

For Hyunjin, it was not as simple as that.

Scents were no joking matter—they couldn’t simply be dubbed as ‘nice’. Nice how? What were the notes? You had your florals, your orientals, your woody, and fresh fragrances. Bad how? You had your odors, your stenches, your stinks. Scents were life changing, brain rewiring, molecule rearranging; what do you mean simply nice?

That’s why he dedicated all his life to the one thing that fascinated the daylights out of him. Perfume making.

Hyunjin’s passion for what he did was so contagious that it didn’t take very long for him to make a name for himself. He was renowned to the extent that he was working with household luxury cosmetics brands as a consultant. ‘The Alchemist of Emotions’ they would call him, and rightfully so. Yet, the fancy titles, the big checks, and his extremely good looks still didn’t prevent him from being perceived as ‘a little odd’ to the outsiders. He was never seen with anyone—no friends, no partners, nobody. Always alone. And rightfully so.

Scents were influential for Hyunjin to the extent that he made life decisions based on it. He believed everything and everyone had a distinct scent. Emotions had scents, too. Nostalgia smelled bittersweet like a piece of dark chocolate. Lust smelled like amber. Powdery. Cozy. Sensual. Envy smelled sour; almost rotten. Rage smelled like the most pungent spices were having a fight over dominance. It would make even the ones with the strongest stomachs nauseous. 

He had his heart broken once. Terribly. In his own bed. When he noticed it was his best friend panting over his moaning girlfriend, his entire room was invaded with the stench of a corpse rapidly decomposing. He wanted to puke his lungs out, but instead, he picked up the pieces of his heart and fucked off to reassemble them somewhere that didn’t have any traces of her. Or him. He learned to find solace in solitude because it meant he was immune to getting his heart broken again.

God, he loved her. He loved her so much.

That was also the reason he knew that loneliness smelled like ice. A lot of people believed ice didn’t have a scent but it wasn’t true. It smelled like frostbite. It smelled painful. It smelled like having left with nothing to lose.

Hyunjin was running a little lab called The Sixth Scents where he made custom perfumes, essential oils, and scented candles but he worked selectively—just because you walked into his lab with a wad of cash, it didn’t mean he was going to take your request. People knew that, but many of them still went there just to see him, to admire him like a piece of art, and obsess over his beauty. He got love confessions and crass offers for a good time almost on the daily. For any other person, that would be equal to an unlimited orgasm supply, but for him? Just a daily chore to cross off his to-do list.

Say no x15

The only woman that currently had a place in his life was his neighbor Mrs. Keane, an old, elegant, but incredibly nosy lady who lived on the ground floor and spent most of her day by her window peoplewatching. She had no children of her own, so Hyunjin was like the son she never had. He had a soft spot for her, too—every now and then, when he was coming home from work, Hyunjin would bring her flowers, and they would drink tea together and chat. About life, about love, about loss.

“It pains me every day that I do not have a child to marry you to, my prince boy.”

“Trust me, Mrs. Keane, it’s for the best.”

“Still,” she wiggled in her seat and wore a mischievous smile on her Scarlet Sunrise lips, “You know that sweet girl at the boutique around the corner?”

“We have talked about this, haven't we milady?” Hyunjin grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I’m not interested.”

He wasn’t. He wasn’t interested in anything remotely related to love. To be hurt. To die of blood loss.

He sketched a lot in his free time. They were just random doodles as a form of therapy, to empty his ever-full mind. He didn't do it intentionally—at least he thought he didn't, but they always ended up being ambiguous images. When you looked at it, you always saw more than one thing. Always. 

It would morph into something singularly concrete one day maybe, who knew. Until then, blame Gestalt.

The only thing that made him forget how lonely he was was the sounds he had been hearing lately from his upstairs neighbor. Hyunjin didn't know anybody else in the building besides Mrs. Keane, nor did he want to know, but this person served him like a ghost company. It was a woman. Alone. Her moans sounded a lot like a bedroom jam to him. A very sexy song to sleep to written over chill beats. Every time she signaled she was about to descend into ecstasy, Hyunjin stripped, laid down on his bed, and pleasured himself to the rhythm of her moans. He would sometimes edge himself for an entire hour with her, and those were the best orgasms he had. He didn’t know who she was, and neither did he want to know. He wasn’t interested in her personally because every time Hyunjin closed his eyes there was already someone there. A woman. He wasn’t able to discern her face, though.

His understanding of a soulmate was much different than the rest of the world—he was sure of it. For him, it was someone to kiss to sleep with his nose buried in the crook of her neck.  Someone to make playlists to fuck to. Someone to make his most twisted fantasies come true with plenty of aftercare and deep talks into the night. Then fuck again for another hour or so due to not being able to control the urge to have each other. Someone to make him moan as loudly as his upstairs neighbor for once. Someone to pass out on his bed with and miss in his dreams. He would make her breakfast in bed the next morning. Then he would make her cum. Maybe while having breakfast. And spend the rest of the day talking about the banalities of life, or eating ice cream off each other’s lips and fuck again. Someone to create scents after, but he would know nothing could compare to hers.

Who knew, maybe that faceless woman living behind his eyelids was actually his soulmate calling out to him somewhere through inaudible whispers.

“If you walk out that door, you’re dead to us!”

Fine. If breaking off an engagement two weeks before the wedding meant being estranged from your family for the rest of your life, so be it. To an outsider, you were a monster that didn’t even think twice before abandoning the people who conceived you. You were sick and tired of repeating yourself over and over again that this marriage was doomed to fail and that you were having second, third, and fourth thoughts about this decision. But… But how were they going to explain to people why the wedding was off? What about all those deposits paid to the vendors that they were never going to be able to collect? Didn’t you love him? If you didn’t love him, why did you say yes to him in the first place and forced your parents to meet his?!

Fine. If your happiness was less important than the technicalities, so be it.

Yeah, sure you loved him. You loved him very much at first. Until the things you fought over began to lose all sense of logic. Things like why you invited your friends for a sleepover when he was out of town. Of course he trusted you; he just didn’t trust any of your male friends. You were the one making a big deal out of little things, honestly. So what if he said he would never take you to Paris because you had been there with an ex once? That was a very normal reaction. You were the one exaggerating, so shush.

Yeah, you loved him, but once you noticed how little respect he had for you, you fell out of love. You’d think choosing inner peace over assisting your own descent into insanity was hardly a scandalous reason to embarrass your family, but what did you know? 

You had always been very abnormal about the concept of taste. It annoyed the crap out of you when people made it very obvious that they were eating to survive. Taste was not a sense, it was an experience—an experience human beings were lucky enough to enjoy every day, but most people treated food like fuel. What a goddamn blasphemy. That was the reason why you worked towards being a chef your entire life. To design gustatory experiences for people.

Fine. If your parents threatened you with cutting you off completely and not funding your dreams of owning your own restaurant anymore, so be it.

It was a Tuesday when you completed your paperwork for a loan and fucked right off to reestablish your life someplace else. Someplace away from this hell. Who were you going to bet on if you weren’t going to bet on yourself? If you died, you could at least say you died trying.

It was a Saturday when you left that town with your luggage and your lifelong friend Jia sitting in the passenger seat, a free spirit with nothing to lose and the only person who had faith in you. At first, you thought she was just tagging along for an adventure, but when you confronted her about it right before taking off that morning, she smiled and held your hand on the gear.

“That thing about you not having a family anymore?” she squeezed your hand firmly, “It’s not true.”

The Sixth Scents was exactly 550 steps away from Hyunjin’s apartment building. One morning while he was going to work, he saw something right in the middle of point A and point B—a charming little eatery that wasn’t there before. The cozy smell that emanated from the place enticed him like a hand made of smoke making a come-hither gesture. He walked towards the door that had Saudade written on it with fancy cursive letters. Someone carrying a crate full of coffee beans greeted him.

“Welcome!” the young woman chirped, “I apologize, sir, but we’re not open yet.” 

Too happy, Hyunjin thought to himself. Why so happy? There is literally nothing in this world worth being this happy over.

“Oh,” he uttered in disappointment and pointed at the crate, “Well, you seem to have coffee. I’m willing to wait for it if it’s not too much trouble.”

“What I meant was our official opening is tomorrow,” the woman with the name tag that said ‘Jia’ eyed him from head to toe with a knowing smile, “but if you’re willing to wait, then you have the honor of being our first customer. Would you like a scone with that, too?”

“I thought you said you weren’t open,” Hyunjin creased his brows in confusion.

“We’re not. The staff is having breakfast right now,” she explained further pointing at the open kitchen area behind her, “A little tasting party among ourselves.”

“Alright then. Black coffee and a scone to go, please.”

“Of course! What kind would you like?”

What kind? How many kinds of scones were there anyway? It was pastry, no? Flour, water, salt, whatevs.

“Uh– What kinds do you have?”

“We have seventeen flavors, sir. Would you like a menu?”

Seven-fucking-teen? What the hell was this, an ice cream stand?

“Can I get a recommendation instead?”

“You want an apple scone,” Jia declared firmly, “I'll brew your coffee and be right back. Please make yourself comfortable.”

Hyunjin sat down at a little table right next to the door and began to examine every single corner of the place. Whoever was responsible for the interior design did a fantastic job with it. It was sort of fancy-looking, but still intimate with warm shades of colors splashed all over the place. He made a mental note of having a meal here one day. After about five minutes, Jia came back with his order in a little doggy bag.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin got up to his feet and turned towards the door, “Hope the preparations go smoothly for your opening.”

“Aren't you going to have a taste?” Jia asked him with expectant eyes. He was surprised at the request, but did as he was asked nevertheless.

Good fucking god, what a rich aroma this cup contained. It was apparent by the scent alone. Toffee notes and dark chocolate were hugging the coffee beans. Then the scone—it was still warm. When he took his first bite from it, he broke the dough and reached the filling, which was even warmer on his tongue. He felt the sweet taste of apples and the splash of cinnamon invading all his tastebuds. When he chewed his bite, it was different. When he swallowed, it was different. When he took a sip from his coffee, it morphed into something else entirely.

What kind of witchcraft is this?

“Amazing, right?” Jia smirked at him.

Hyunjin was still in the middle of processing this orgasmic taste, so he almost didn’t hear her. When he gathered his wits again, he managed to ask:

“If you don’t mind my curiosity, which bakery are you working with?”

“We make these in-house. I mean, our chef does.”

Hyunjin glanced at the kitchen area to find a person in a chef’s uniform, but couldn’t see one.

“Please send them my compliments. Apparently, I’ve never experienced breakfast before this.”

Jia couldn’t believe what she just heard for a second. It was like you briefly walked outside and shapeshifted into this incredibly ethereal human being just to troll her because these were your words to a T.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she crossed her arms over her chest, naturally leaving Hyunjin in a state of deeper confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“Why don’t you come by for our opening tomorrow?” she cut to the chase with bells ringing in her head, “I promise you will not regret it.”

Hyunjin didn’t know why, but he had a feeling he was indeed not going to regret it. Since he had absolutely nowhere to be anyway, he accepted the impromptu invitation with a smile.

“I’d appreciate it very much if I can sit somewhere that overlooks the kitchen area.”

Jia had been building hype on social media about Saudade’s opening for quite some time with cryptic posts, Tumblr text-post memes, and well-lit photography. It was a weird mosaic to witness, but Jia swore she knew what she was doing. Who was your social media-illiterate ass to judge when the queen of interactions existed for fuck’s sake?

That was what you said to her face, but deep down you were still having doubts over the biggest decision of your life. It felt like your non-wedding day all over again.

When you started off with this thing, it seemed like everything was going to be smooth sailing, but the more obstacles you were hit with, the more you were on the brink of giving up. Finding a decent location had been a pain in the ass. You almost got your first assault charge trying to obtain an alcohol license. The renovation took longer than you estimated. You had to acquire an insufferable personality to bargain with the vendors. Thankfully, Jia was in charge of staffing and she did a fantastic job hiring decent people. She may or may not have insinuated she would haunt them for the rest of their lives if they let you down in any capacity, but hey, technicalities. 

After what seemed like the longest battle of your life, when you witnessed a full house on the fucking opening night, your jaw dropped all the way to the floor. Jia was beyond content with your reaction.

“I know right? I’m amazing”

“Remind me to never ever doubt your words again.”

She looked incredibly offended at your words, “BITCH, you said—”

“Dinner service! Everybody to their stations.”

Gentle melodies. Buzzing atmosphere. Chatter of people. Sounds of laughter rising and falling from different tables. Clinks of silverware against plates. Clinks of glasses against each other. Steam contained in the kitchen area. Fire rising. Heavy iron. Thuds of metal. A communion of delicious smells all over the place but never invading each other’s privacy.

It had only been half an hour or so—it might have been premature to call it that, but you still couldn’t help the giddiness filling your chest. This was what success looked like. It was written all over your face, and it made Jia even happier to see your efforts come to fruition. She was going to be the happiest when she could finally tell you that your soulmate indeed existed in this world and he was actually there tonight.

Around 8.30 PM, the guest of honor finally made his way into the restaurant, and the sight removed her expectant smile from her face in an instant. There was a woman standing next to him.

Fucking rookie mistake not to get that information about the possibility of a girlfriend, right? Nevertheless, he had to meet you, and if that meant Jia had to be a homewrecker, so be it. She literally wouldn’t think twice about the consequences when the subject was the happiness that seemed to love eluding you since forever.

“Welcome to Saudade,” she greeted him with a bright smile and shot death glares at the woman standing next to him, “I sincerely hope there is no one else in your party because I forgot to mention that your table is reserved for one, sir.”

“No, it’s just me.”

The woman looked at her with a petrified expression and spoke in such a tiny voice that it was barely audible in the murmur of the restaurant, “Santiago, party of two?”

“Oh,” Jia promptly changed her entire personality and grabbed a passing waitstaff by the arm, “Mr. Kim will be escorting you to your table, ma’am,” then she proceeded to guide Hyunjin to the table she strategically reserved for him, “Right this way please.”

It was a table for one that saw the kitchen area quite clearly just like he asked. Hyunjin sat down with a book in his hand as Jia filled his glass with water.

“Would you like to see a menu, or would you like to opt for the chef’s exclusive selection for tonight?”

“The latter, please,” he answered without hesitation, “Can I get an Aperol Spritz beforehand?”

While he was waiting for his drink, Hyunjin glanced at the kitchen to spot the person responsible for the apple cinnamon rhapsody, and finally saw you. Clad in your black jacket, you looked like a martial artist commanding a brigade with your fast and precise movements and the way you skillfully used different kinds of knives. Watching you cook was no different than watching a magic show. The ingredients on chopping boards disappeared into little pieces and reemerged again on plates like miniature paintings. When the waitress brought his drink, Hyunjin thanked her still unable to take his eyes off of you.

It was another story when his food arrived, though. He took his sweet time savoring every single bite while reading the book he brought with him, completely cutting off contact with the outside world. He was so engrossed in his own little bubble that it even caught your attention from the kitchen.

Who the fuck reads a book during dinner? It’s gonna get cold!

Well, some people watched stuff to indicate that they were busy, no? Hyunjin made a habit of bringing books everywhere he went, especially restaurants serving alcohol, because it made it easier to be rude to people.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“No, thank you.”

This exchange kept happening no less than four times, and Hyunjin didn’t even turn to face the different owners of the voices. He was too busy either watching you make edible art and being mesmerized out of his mind, or ingesting it. He wasn’t interested in anything else. He hadn’t been for the longest time.

But he had a raising suspicion that he had to make an exception for you very very soon.

“How did you enjoy your experience today, sir?”

“It was magnificent,” Hyunjin had a very pleased smile on his face, “Please extend my compliments to the chef. I hope they’re always this passionate about their art.”

When he got up to leave, Jia was simply convinced that she was looking at a match made in heaven. She opened the little chest she brought the check in and examined the credit card slip laying under a very generous tip.

While Hyunjin was lounging on his little balcony that evening with a glass of scotch in his hand, he contemplated the crossroads of scent and taste. How the scent dissolving on the tongue could actually give you a clue about what something tasted like. How the two senses were actually inseparable from one another. He recalled the memories of the late nights at his lab, then compared it to you creating magic with your hands with a stern face. How beautiful you were. How passionate you were. How it all showed on the plates you created.

Just fascinating. 

“Look who it is,” Jia wore a shit-eating grin upon seeing the person walking in, “Your betrothed regular.”

“Could you please stop calling him that?”

Hyunjin began coming to the restaurant every day after the opening night. In the mornings, he usually grabbed his coffee-scone combo to go, and sometimes stopped by for lunch, but he was there every dinner service without exception. He had his own designated table and an established service routine by then: an aperitif drink–usually an Aperol Spritz, alternating appetizers, the special of the day as his main course paired with a wine recommendation and a green salad, and dessert to complement his meal. After placing his orders, he would watch you intently throughout the whole thing and then bask in the little composition you prepared for him that particular evening. He always sent compliments to you and left Jia tips way more than socially acceptable standards. Not to be capitalistic or anything, but there was no harm in his future brother-in-law being loaded or whatever, right?

Well, it would have been obvious from the tips alone, but the matter of the fact was Jia took it upon herself to go full Sherlock on one Hwang Hyunjin as indicated on the credit card slip. She broke into a hysterical laughing fit when she realized what he did for a living as if the guy was written as a self-indulgent commission for you. 

“You really need to put the moves on the guy.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never seen something this beautiful in my entire life, and I can’t cockblock for you forever.”

Well, you knew. Jia might have been under the impression you weren’t already crushing pretty hard on the guy, but every time this demigod walked into the restaurant, your heart went rabid, making you live on the edge with almost-heart attacks on the daily. Part of your daily routine included dodging what could have been pretty severe work accidents because you couldn’t stop staring at him. It wasn't just about his ridiculously good looks, though, no. You couldn’t help the urge to go on a deep dive about him yourself after Jia’s incessant Hyunjin seminars, and his work just blew you away. There was something very very special about this man; you just didn't know what that was exactly because your culinary skills invaded the space where your courage gland should have been to talk to him.

You frequently watched him dine, and one thing you observed was that his lips and how he ate were very not normal. It almost looked like he was making out with the food. He didn’t drink, he stole kisses from the liquid. You had complete tunnel vision on how his Adam’s apple moved every time he gulped, and watched the way the drinks rushed down his esophagus and soothed him inside.

You thought you were making it up at first, but then one day you noticed you weren’t the only one staring.

It was a lot of stolen glances between you two. No one was saying or doing anything, but it was painfully obvious how much you both were incredibly fascinated with each other for one reason or another. Little did you know you were awakening a lot of things inside Hyunjin—a lot of things he thought he would never be capable of feeling again, but there he was, extremely turned on merely by the amount of passion you practiced your craft with, and daydreaming about the fifteen different ways he could make you cum.

He might not have been aware of it, but so did you.

“Could you extend my compliments to the chef, please?” Hyunjin made his usual request after he paid the check, “The dessert was especially exceptional tonight.”

Of course it was. You sent crème brûlée to him that night without even asking him what he would like for dessert, and that was for self-indulgent purposes he was never going to know about. You wanted to watch him break the top hard layer like he was stripping you. You wanted to watch him dip his spoon into the soft cream like he was sliding into you again after cumming inside you. You wanted to watch him lick the cream off his lips like he was actually tasting you. Being turned on to the way he experienced his food, something prepared by you, was your dirty little secret you were going to take to your grave.

God, his lips. Those perfectly shaped, full lips of his made for kissing for a lifetime…

“Actually, why don’t you extend it yourself this time?”

Courtesy of Jia’s mind games, Hyunjin’s usual table was within your earshot. She didn’t need to extend the aforementioned compliments to you because you actually heard them directly from him every single night. Yet, when you heard her suggestion, your heart almost jumped out of your chest.

Hyunjin stole a glance from your way and massively hesitated.

“She– She seems very busy. I wouldn’t want to intr—”

“Chef!”

Needless to say, your knees almost gave out. You tried to be as casual about it as you could be.

“Yes?”

Your jacket harbored all kinds of stains on them, and this was in no way the proper way to talk to this real-life prince. If you knew, you would have prepared five spare jackets to slide into, ready to be in his presence at a moment's notice.

Little did you know, he wanted you out of them, not change into something else that would hide you from him again. You were beautiful. You were so beautiful even with your creased brows when you were laser-focused. You were the sexiest when you conducted your orchestra with precise orders. Why change into something else when he had the perfect reason to see you as you were? Unabashedly you.

Hyunjin had seen you time and time again no matter from how afar, but he was utterly stunned when you approached his table. He felt his tongue getting tied and not in the way he would like to lock it on your clit until you were spent under him.

“I uh– I just– I just wanted to extend my compliments for the food.”

You were also internally yelling, but both of you were being so nonchalant about it as if this wasn’t the very first interaction with ‘the one’, as Jia called it. She was on the brink of ripping her hair out standing between you two, watching this exchange like it was the Wimbledon finals.

“Thank you. I appreciate it very much.”

Your little smile made Hyunjin implode. He witnessed these sentences fall from your lips in such slow motion that it felt like an hour-long lecture to him. He was fixated completely on the way your lips moved. How soft they looked. How moist they were. How they reminded him of velvet. How they would feel between his. How your tongue would dance inside his mouth. On his body. On his cock.

Good god, I’m about to fucking lose it because of you.

All he did was nod in an attempt to get a grip of himself and leave. Jia watched him walk out and then looked at you still pinned to your place, gawking at the nonexistent outline of Hyunjin.

“In case it wasn’t clear, I hereby declare once and for all that I ship this,” she pointed at the door and then at you, “Hard.”

Hyunjin didn’t go home that night. He found himself walking to his lab instead. He lit a scentless candle so that it absorbed whatever remains of smells were lingering in the room so that he could have a clean slate. You evoked so many things in him that he had to translate this into his own language, otherwise he was going to combust. What he ended up creating carried powdery top notes with a hint of narcotic florals as the heart. Jasmines. Could be because of the little jasmine shrub in front of the restaurant, but they reminded him of you a lot. Then the base. As sensuous as you. Faintest gourmand notes. Vanilla. The milky texture of almond butter.

This was you. You in olfactory form. Made his heart swell three times its size, filled him with something dangerously close to hope, and aroused him beyond control.

Hyunjin would like to give you this one day. He would love to give you his own essence instead to be quite frank. Cover your lips with his saliva. Cover your body with his sweat. Cover your cunt with his cum. Fuck you to sleep then fuck you awake in the middle of the night. Whisper little love confessions in your ear when you cum. Be yours. Be yours for however long you would have him.

He also wished he had an ounce of the courage required for any of that.

Then the ritual began.

Every time Hyunjin came over, you were sending him a little something on the house. He was pleasantly surprised at first, but then it became your silent greeting. You would send him something, he would look at the kitchen, smile, and nod. Every time you nodded back, he felt like you were kissing him back for his thank yous.

Hyunjin savored every single thing. If it was a little dessert, he took an entire hour to finish it. If it was a cold drink, he saved it for so long that his glass sweated to make wet rings on the table. You didn’t understand why he was doing that.

It was days and days and days until you finally gathered the courage to walk to his table one afternoon.

“Don’t wait to finish it this time, okay?”

He was so used to being absorbed in his daydreams about you that he thought he was dreaming it at first, but you were actually there. Standing right next to his table. Talking to him.

“I uh—”

“Some things are meant to be consumed quickly for the best results. You shouldn’t leave your noodles in the soup, for example.”

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair with a smile that challenged you.

“Maybe I like them soggy.”

“But that’s not the proper way to experience your food,” you pointed at the tiny straw basket you put in front of him, “Please have one.” 

It contained two mini croissants with chocolate filling. When Hyunjin took a bite from the warm pastry, the mille-feuille produced a very loud crunching sound, and some of the chocolate smeared on his lips. It took a massive amount of self-control not to jump on his mouth as if he needed another reason to make his lips more enticing. You cleared your throat and leaned into him with a smile.

“That crunch will not be there if you wait for an entire hour.”

As you were about to leave, Hyunjin held onto your wrist at the last second.

“Wait!”

The first time he touched you. The first time you felt his skin on yours. Thank goodness you were wearing a long-sleeve jacket, otherwise, it would have been mortifying if he noticed the goosebumps breaking all over your body.

Hyunjin put the matte black box laying on the chair next to him on the table.

“As a thank you.”

“Thank you?” you tilted your head, “For what?”

“These,” he looked at the little basket in front of him currently holding a single croissant, “And the steamed vegetables, and the mini quiches, and the drinks, and so much more.”

When you opened the box, you saw that in contained four items: something that looked like a two-piece stand, matches, a box of tealight candles, and a little vial filled with clear liquid.

“Let me guess,” you examined the tiny bottle, “Vanilla extract?”

“It’s actually an essence I made for you,” Hyunjin responded averting his eyes from you.

What did he mean he made for you? He made you this? Who the fuck randomly made an essence and brought it like they baked cookies? When you opened the vial and smelled the dense liquid inside, it alerted every single one of the neurons in your body.

“Oh wow!” you exclaimed, “Am I supposed to wear this?”

“It’s an atmospheric fragrance. You’re supposed to burn it,” Hyunjin pointed at the little stand in the box, “Would you like me to show you how?”

“Please.”

There was a piece of curved glass that looked like a miniature bowl to be placed on the metal ring at the top of the stand. On the bottom, there was a circular indentation for the tealight candle, and it was directly under the glass bowl.

“Just a couple of drops should suffice. It’s very strong.”

Hyunjin assembled the little burner, dripped three drops of the liquid into the bowl, and lit the tealight candle, all very ceremoniously. You watched it all with mouth agape like he was showing you a magic trick. If only you knew if you actually said that out loud, it would make Hyunjin’s head explode.

“I love this!” you brightly smiled, “Thank you very much for this gesture.”

He nodded with a smile as warm as yours. Suddenly, your eyes darted to the green salad he always had with his food. You took out an order pad and a pen, and wrote down a tip for him.

“Next time you make a green salad, chop half a green apple into it,” you ripped the paper and gave it to him, “Thank me later.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin carefully folded the paper in half.  It made you chuckle.

“You did hear me say ‘later’, right?”

“Who knows when that will be? You’re always behind the scenes.” 

His smile grew wider and you felt your cheeks getting warmer. You hated the way he made you feel like a teenager.

“Enjoy.”

As you were retreating with small steps with the box in your hand, you heard a voice behind you again.

“Hyunjin.”

“Excuse me?”

“My name... It's– It’s Hyunjin.”

Well, you already knew that, but you never officially introduced yourselves to each other. 

“Very nice to finally put a name to the face,” you approached him to shake his hand, “Y/N.”

Hyunjin. What a pleasing name, though. You didn't even know what it meant, but you just knew he was aptly named. He was born to demand the attention of the world and be abnormally ethereal and sweep you off your feet. He wasn't born for you per se, but there was no doubt he was something extraordinary. Absolutely spellbinding. 

As you returned to the kitchen, Hyunjin was thinking about your actual notes, his eyes never off you. He wondered what you smelled like when you were aroused. When you came. What he wouldn’t give to make his very own essence from your cum and burn it in his room so that it always smelled like your base notes at any given minute of the day. Did you taste like caramel apples, as well? Did your taste also change when he savored it? When he swallowed?

When he reached his doorstep that night, Hyunjin was so caught up in these thoughts that he couldn’t really discern whether he was imagining things or if he was actually able to smell you somehow. His nostrils were invaded by strong notes coming from somewhere upstairs. He walked up a floor like he was on autopilot and knocked on the door he was drawn to. When the door opened and the powdery scent blasted on his face, a flat-out shock was spelled on Hyunjin’s face.

“Thank… you.”

“Hyunjin?”

The owner of the voice from upstairs. The sound that kept him company during his lonely nights. All this time.

It was you?

“I can’t believe this,” you looked at him with widened eyes, “What are you doing here?”

“I live downstairs actually.”

“Is it the pizza?” a man appeared right behind you, “Oh, sorry. I’ll call them, it’s been like an hour.”

Oh. Of course. Of course there was someone, wasn’t there? Someone that was currently basking in the scent that he made for you.

“I uh– I was… The scent… I could–”

“Oh damn, you could smell that?” you looked inside, “You were right I guess, it is strong, but I really love it.”

You smiled. He melted. 

“I– I should go. Sorry to interrupt your evening.”

Interrupt your evening? But he didn’t. He couldn’t. You wanted to invite him in, but would it be too presumptuous to assume that he would like to join you? Well, he was at the restaurant every day, right? You took a deep breath and jumped the gun.

“Would you li–?”

“I should go,” Hyunjin forced a smile, “Good night.”

As he disappeared down the stairs, you slowly closed the door and leaned against it. You didn’t know why there was this uneasy feeling in your chest.

Were disappointment and heartbreak different things, or just the same thing in different colors? Because they certainly smelled very similar. Like blackberries and raspberries. They were both berries at the end of the day, no?

Maybe that was why Mrs. Keane chose to brew raspberry tea for Hyunjin that day. She was the mother Hyunjin didn’t have after all.

He had stopped going to the restaurant because he was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to control himself around you anymore. He was barely able to hold it together as it was. Seeing you every day, studying you playing with different aromas had been a part of his daily routine, but insisting on keeping that would be inappropriate. Not when you had someone. Even if it killed a little part of him, it was okay. He was just having a little hard time accepting he managed to get his heart broken before anything ever happened.

“You know you’re like my son, right prince boy?”

Hyunjin woke up from his deep thoughts with Mrs. Keane’s soft voice.

“Of course I do.”

“I met a very nice young lady at the grocery store today,” she put her porcelain cup on her coffee table, “I’m thinking…”

“Mrs. Keane…”

“Give me one valid reason this time,” she protested, “You’re such a fine young man and—”

“I can’t.”

She had been pestering Hyunjin with this ‘I need to see you with a bride before I die’ thing for god knows how long since he was the closest thing she had for a son. Yet she had never been this content with the way her prince boy rejected her.

“Say, every time I bring an offer to you, you say you’re not interested. This time you said you can’t,” Mrs. Keane squinted her eyes with a knowing smile, “Why is that?”

Hyunjin played with his little spoon on the saucer, pouting like a little kid, “It’s nothing.”

“Hyunjin…”

Fine. She wanted to hear the tea? Here it was. There was this girl that ran a cute little restaurant down the street. She was great at what she did. He fell head over heels in love with her simply by watching her cook and he couldn’t stop thinking about her and he was utterly possessed by her every minute of every day so much so that he didn’t spend a single night not dreaming about her and he was cursing at his damn luck that it was impossible to have her. Christ!

“That’s the girl on the top floor, yes?”

Hyunjin was appalled at what he was hearing, “You– You know her?”

“Of course I do, my boy. I know everyone in this building,” she nudged him, seemingly very much unaffected by how agitated Hyunjin was, “You like her, don’t you? Don’t even try to deny it this time.”

He flashed a bashful smile like a pure schoolboy talking about the girl he liked from the art class, but Mrs. Keane’s shrieky cheer scared the crap out of him.

“Finally! I was running out of excuses to bring her up. Because you and her—”

She couldn’t continue any further because for some reason he looked way too sorrowful for someone finally opening his heart to love again. She held his chin gently.

“Why the shadows on your beautiful face my prince boy?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you again, Mrs. Keane,” Hyunjin forced a smile, “but I think she’s taken.”

“Taken?” she yelled dramatically, “Since when?!”

“I saw a man at her apartment some time ago.”

“What did he look like?”

Why the fuck would Hyunjin focus on that? The one thing that didn’t completely obliterate his soul was that thanks to everything good and pure he didn’t hear you moan that night. Now that would be unbearable to witness.

“I don’t know. Medium height, brown eyes…”

“Was he particularly muscular?”

With all due respect, jesus fucking christ Mrs. Keane. So what if he was? Why point that out to him?

“I’d say so.”

Mrs. Keane was a soft-spoken woman who happened to be very graceful, so it came as a shock to Hyunjin when she actually smacked him on the head for the first time ever.

“What was that for?!”

“You’re such a bright man, but I can’t stand you being this stupid sometimes,” she tutted in utter disapproval, “That’s her cousin looking to move to this city, my dense little prince.”

Hyunjin was surprised but visibly elated at this piece of information, so much so that he couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot.

“Her cousin?”

“Yes. You would also know that if you simply asked who that was.”

“But that would be very intrusive.”

“Yet if you knew, you could ask her out.”

“But how do you know that was her cous— Mrs. Keane, please stop the smacking!”

She scooted closer to the edge of her floral print armchair and held his hands.

“Listen to me and listen to me well. I know you’re a wounded little kitten, but she’s as wounded as you are. Maybe you can groom each other’s scars better,” she caressed his cheek, “She seems perfect for you.”

“How are you so sure?”

Hyunjin thought she would argue things like life experience, being a connoisseur of human nature or an excellent judge of character, but the answer he received left no room for any kind of maybes.

“Because she can’t stop talking about you, either.”

Hyunjin’s absence in the restaurant was unbearably noticeable. There were many times you found yourself in front of his door about to knock, but something in his eyes that night burned away the microscopic amount of determination like the essence he made for you. You missed him. He wasn't yours, but suddenly losing him like that still hurt like hell. You couldn’t come up with a single reasonable excuse to see him one more time. Just once.

When the super nice lady on the ground floor randomly invited you in for tea one day, you didn’t really expect the topic of conversation to come to Hyunjin. You most certainly didn’t want to believe it when she told you not to lose hope, but it came true. When Hyunjin walked into the restaurant again one evening, you could literally feel the clouds parting, the sun shining, and the birds chirping. You simply beamed at the sight of him, hit with this acute urge to run to him and hug him and tell him that you missed him so much, but all you were able to do was faintly smile at him from afar. He had ordered his usuals, but didn’t leave this time once he finished his meal. He stayed. He stayed with his book until the last customer left. That wasn’t the only thing different that night. 

“Are you really serving mulled wine, or is the kitchen closed for the night?”

Yes, you were. You had never made mulled wine with this much care before. Hyunjin specifically asked for it, so he was sure as hell going to have the best mulled wine of his life. He could have asked you for handmade linguini and you would still gladly make it from scratch. Once you finished making it, you noticed he had moved to a little table outside. You brought his wine along with a little charcuterie board he didn’t ask for, and just as you were about to go back inside to watch him from afar, you felt Hyunjin’s hand on yours.

“Would you join me please?”

Well, was water wet? You brought a glass for yourself and sat down next to him, nervous out of your mind and incredibly worried at the possibility that he was able to hear your heartbeat.

His lab. Your restaurant. His heartbreak. Your traumas. His loneliness. Your loneliness. You talked about many things until you saw the bottom of the pitcher.

“What does it mean?” he eventually pointed at the name you chose for the restaurant. 

“It’s Portuguese,” you explained while looking at the sign, “It means an intense longing for something that is absent.”

“It’s poignantly beautiful.”

 Just like you. Like your eyes. Like your bottomless abyss of eyes I wanna keep falling in forever.

“Reminds me of soft florals and dried woods. I would name that perfume Desiderium,” Hyunjin turned to you with a fond smile, “But why name something you love after something so wistful?”

“People think it means ‘Cheers’. No one’s going to check what it actually refers to.”

“But that’s not what I asked.”

No, it wasn’t. But you didn’t really find it in you to break into a self-deprecating monologue about loss and the things you felt like you were never going to be able to experience. You did your best to try to keep it as concise as possible.

“That’s just human nature, don’t you think? We never not…” you heaved a deep sigh while holding his gaze, “...yearn for something.”

You looked at each other in silence. Looking at him for too long felt disrespectful like you needed to ask for permission to gaze at him first. When you averted your eyes, he tried to meet your eyes again with a little smile on his face, but it only got you more flustered. You attempted to change the topic instead.

“You know what pairs well with this?”

Yes, your cunt. Your tight, sweet cunt melting in my mouth. Wrapped around my cock. Squeezing my soul out of me. I could get permanently drunk on you.

“What is it?” Hyunjin asked while clearing his throat.

“Emmental and red globes,” you plucked the fruit from the bunch and held it against his lips, “Here, try it.”

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he bit into the grape. No matter how accidentally, you felt the moist texture inside his mouth for the briefest second. Meanwhile, Hyunjin got so hard over that barely-a-touch that he would cum if you so much as ghosted your hands over his painfully stiff bulge.

Touching his lips hit you like a truck. So soft. Oh god, they were just so soft. He licked them after he swallowed his bite, and you felt completely hypnotized by him. Neither of you dared to say anything. You fixated your eyes on his slightly parted lips. He fixated his eyes on yours. All he could think about was how you tasted. Would your lips also make a crunching sound like the skin of that grape if he bit into your flesh? Would your juices squirt in his mouth the same? 

“And?” you asked him expectantly.

“Incredible.”

No, he wasn’t talking about the pairing. He was talking about you.

The tension built up between you was about to crumble the entire place into a pile of debris. Your heart was beating so fast. So was his. You could actually take his pulse just by watching the throbbing vein on his neck. That begged to be kissed by you. Grazed by you. Choked by you.

You snapped out of it.

“I uh– I should… I should go clean up. I’ll be right back, then we can go home.”

You walked home together in silence. You even climbed the stairs in silence. When you reached his door, you were just supposed to say goodnight but you lingered a bit for reasons that you didn’t even know. All you could think about was his lips… 

Oh god, his fucking lips…

Hyunjin wanted to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him, no doubt about it. He really wanted to invite you in and open his most expensive bottle of wine for you. He wanted to sip on your scent for hours, get drunk with you on desire, and make love to you all night long until he heard you say you couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to hear you moan his name. He wanted to hear you beg for more. He wanted to make you cum over and over again until you forgot who you were. He wanted you.

But what he blurted out instead was a little different than his long-ass internal tirade.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me sometime?”

You felt your cheeks getting even more flushed, completely taken aback by his advance. He briefly thought it was a no when you just gawked at him with mouth agape.

“Unless…”

“I do!” you yelled, “I really do.”

He smiled. Smiling simply did not suit anybody else this much. Hyunjin was born to smile and turn the entire place he was smiling at into heaven-adjacent.

Because you were sure heaven itself rested in the crook of his neck.

“I’d love to take you somewhere where you don’t have to make the food,” he uttered while looking at the tips of his shoes, “Would tomorrow night be okay for you?”

You wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss you, no doubt about it. You wanted to feel those perfect full lips of his on your naked skin. You wanted to taste every inch of him, experience him as a whole, and give him the most violent orgasms of his life. You wanted to run your fingers through his silky smooth hair and pull on it when he least expected it to make him arch towards you. You wanted to hear the sounds of his pleasure induced by you. You wanted to hear him lose his whole entire shit because of you. You wanted him.

You reflected his smile back to him instead.

“It’s perfect,” you managed to find your voice in your throat, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“So do I,” he lifted his head up and finally met your eyes, “Pick you up at 7?”

“Sounds good. Good night, Hyunjin.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

That address smacked your soul into the next century so hard that you almost came all over yourself because of it. It definitely wasn’t an exaggeration because Hyunjin most probably also saw how visibly you shuddered. You bolted back to your apartment and closed the door behind you.

Your mind was crawling with him lately. Hyunjin was in all your thoughts one way or another. You thought about him first thing in the morning. You thought about him while going to work. When you made his favorites in the kitchen. When the Aperol bottle caught your attention over the bar. Going back home. In the shower.

You thought about him the most in your bed while touching yourself.

“Hyunjin…”

You always imagined him, but that night you said his name out loud for the first time. He had such a pretty name to moan. One thing you didn’t know however was that Hyunjin was able to hear you every time you started moaning in your bedroom right above his. Another thing you didn’t know was that the second he heard you pleasuring yourself, he was always masturbating with you.

“I want you. God, I want you so bad.”

What I wouldn’t give to barge into your room right now and lick you to your orgasm, beautiful.

“Please…”

Touch me. Kiss me. Make love to me.

“You… You’re so… Fuck.”

 I’ll go fucking insane if I can’t taste you. 

“Hyunjin… Please, Hyunjin!”

Please let me. I’m begging you. Just once.

That was the first time Hyunjin actually heard you moan his name, completely incredulous that he wasn’t having a fever dream, and he had never cum so hard before. It took an insane amount of edging on his part because if he kept touching himself while listening to you call out to him like that, he would have cum in five seconds.

Once you were done, you wondered what he would sound like in the sheets when you were pleasuring him. You turned around and touched the empty side of your bed, having less than zero clue he was doing the exact same thing one floor down.

“MY SHIP IS FUCKING SAILING! FINALLY!!!”

You had just informed Jia that she had full authority for one night because you had a date, and when she learned about your person of interest she almost popped a bottle of champagne.

“Jesus, woman, keep it in your pants!” you chastised her, “Seriously though, I’m pretty excited about this so maybe don’t call me unless anything’s on fire.”

“Won’t even call you if I die,” she sent you off, “Have fun!”

After finishing the preparations for the dinner service, you took off for your apartment to get ready for the night. You must have changed like five times until you were absolutely content with how you looked, and you barely made it in time when you heard the doorbell.

“Just a second!” you dashed while putting on your earrings, and when you opened the door your jaw fucking dropped. Hyunjin appeared clad in a black blazer and black pants, his usual silver rings adorning his long, slender fingers, looking like an absolute god that didn’t belong in the realm of mortals.

How was he real? How the fuck was this man real?

“Hi,” was all you managed to utter due to your throat being super dry.

Hyunjin wasn’t even able to reciprocate your greeting for a solid five seconds because he was in the middle of being blown away by you.

“Hi. Yes. Uh… Shall we?”

It was a daunting task to pick a place with good food for a chef, but Hyunjin eventually decided on a charming little restaurant by the sea. He asked for permission to pick the wine, and quite frankly, made an excellent choice. Once the initial buzz set in, the bubble of nervousness around your table popped, and you picked up where you left off the night before. It was a lot of talking and drinking and talking and drinking. You could listen to him talk for hours. You could talk about him to random passersby for hours because Hyunjin was the most mesmerizing thing. You weren’t sure if you were getting drunk on wine or him at this point. Just looking at him made you smile.

“Why scents?” you asked him after your fifth glass.

“They have very strong connections to memories,” Hyunjin explained, “One whiff and you can travel back in time. I find it utterly captivating.”

Well, I find you utterly captivating, prince.

You tried to cross your legs under the table, and when your foot touched his, he flinched in his place.

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s uh– It’s okay.”

It would have been normally okay, but unfortunately for Hyunjin, you had noticed how thickly he gulped. Ideas. Ideas. So many ideas. 

When you instinctively ran your foot up his legs, he dropped his fork.

“Did I excite you?” you alluringly asked while tilting your head.

Yes, you did. Hyunjin was never not excited by your mere presence. One look at you and he was gone. Watching you work your magic had been his favorite pastime activity. The way you dexterously played with flavors like a gustatory virtuoso was the sexiest thing he had ever witnessed, seducing him out of his mind every single time. What was he supposed to do when he actually established physical contact with the woman of his dreams? 

He started panicking when he felt your foot run higher up his leg, reaching his thighs by then.

“Wh– What are you doing?”

“Being bold for once. White wine is my kryptonite,” then your voice faded into a whisper, “Am I getting you hard, Hyunjin?”

Why did his name sound this pretty on your lips? He closed his eyes with an exhale, and shamelessly answered your question.

“Yes.”

“Hyunjin,” you took a bite from your dessert and pointed your fork at him, “Your name is just so satisfying to utter, you know?”

When he ran his large hand on your foot under the table, he felt the straps of your heels hugging your ankle. He delicately undid it as if his fingers had minds of their own and removed the shoe, eyes locked with yours. You watched his face intently trying to figure out what he was going to do next.

“Can I be crass for a second?”

“Why, of course,” you sipped on your wine.

“I’d love to hear you scream it someday.”

Oh, he didn’t come to play, did he? That was so fucking brazen unlike his usual composure that you felt yourself clench hard.

You didn’t have to smile like that to seduce him further—Hyunjin was already buried neck-deep in the quicksand of your fantasies, but you did. You smiled at him with shadows crawling in your eyes, causing him to twitch under your foot.

“Then it might be of interest to you to know I have no problem with fucking on the first date.”

Were you always this audacious because it was such a sexy look on you. When you least expected it, you felt Hyunjin rubbing your feet under the table and instinctively closed your eyes.

“You were saying?” he asked innocently.

It shouldn’t have felt this good maybe, but the way he pressed on your pressure points was a little too delicious. You were having a hard time trying to suppress your moans, and you eventually snapped.

“Do you wanna go back home?”

Home. You said ‘home’. You didn’t say ‘my place’ or ‘your place’. He didn’t know why, but it made Hyunjin smile from ear to ear. He asked for the check, put your shoe back on, and held your hand the entire time you walked back to his apartment. Inside, it smelled like home and loneliness and frustration and heartbreak and passion. It smelled like Hyunjin. Abnormally cozy.

The stories of first kisses were uncannily similar to each other, weren’t they? The guy looks at the girl meaningfully. The girl closes her eyes, invites the guy in. The distance between them is slowly closed, and fireworks go off in the distance.

Haha, fuck that. 

The second Hyunjin closed his door, you just couldn’t restrain the urge to kiss him bubbling inside you for fucking forever, and when it finally burst, you unleashed yourself on his lips.

Good–fucking–god.

Hyunjin didn’t kiss normally. He probably didn’t know how to kiss normally. It was deep. So deep. So passionate. His mouth. His tongue. His hands. His breathing. It was threatening to escalate to a double homicide. It was threatening to take your breath away. It was threatening to rip your soul apart.

“Would you like to shower with me first?”

“Shower with you?”

“It’s not what you think,” Hyunjin’s voice was laced with slight concern, “The city tends to mask our natural scents even when we don’t wear any perfume.”

He brushed your hair behind your ears, making you shudder in the meantime.

“And I want you to be completely naked for me.”

You nodded.

He gently held your hand and led you to his bathroom. You stood in front of his sink mirror side by side under his soft yellow vanity lights, and he took out some cotton and a little bottle of makeup remover from the cabinet.

“Don’t hide from me.”

It wasn’t that makeup made you more or less beautiful—at the end of the day, it was just an attire. Just like you would dress according to the occasion. He just wanted to see you exactly as you were. When Hyunjin began removing your makeup, it felt so weirdly intimate, like something a boyfriend of at least six months would do.

Then he proceeded to undo your hair. Stripped you with unrushed movements. For every item he discarded, you rid him of something in return. Your blouse. His jacket. Your bra. His shirt. Your skirt. His pants. Your necklace. His rings. He turned the water on and walked into his glass-enclosed shower with your hands in his.

Hyunjin took a minute to take your sight in. Everything that followed felt like you were slow dancing under warm water. Fingers brushing. His lips on yours. His tongue swirling on your nipples. His wet hair sticking to his face. Lines of water paving their way on his body. You felt somehow dirtier while washing yourself in the best way possible. Hyunjin didn’t have a shower gel—he had a bar of soap instead. He rubbed it on his loofah, delicately washed you, and then rinsed the bubbles off. You felt so vulnerable under his touch for some reason.

“Is the temperature comfortable for you?”

“Mhm.”

Hyunjin turned you around and pressed your wet body against his chest. You could feel how hard he was and how he was twitching on your hips. If the warm water wasn't already rushing down both of you, you could feel how much he was leaking, too. He kept placing kisses on your neck, your shoulder, and your back, making sure his slippery tongue surpassed the wetness of the water on your skin.

“Into me, beautiful.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into his body, relishing the way he was grinding against you and caressing your breasts with one hand. When you least expected it, he brought the shower nozzle against your pussy, causing a moan to escape your lips.

“How's the pressure?”

“Hyunj–”

“Shh,” he whispered soothingly into your ear, “Just answer the question.”

You would love to if you weren’t mortified. It felt like all the effects of the wine just dissipated into thin air.

“Little more.”

Hyunjin rotated the head of the nozzle for more compression and tested it on your clit again. You flinched upon the more intense sensation.

“Now?”

“Too good.”

“Shh, shh, shh, I got you” he wrapped one hand around your waist to keep you in place, “We’ll relax you now.”

Your moans. Unadulterated eroticism. More so hearing them this up close this time no matter how much the volume was down. There was no concrete obstacle between you anymore.

“Not the same thing as your vibrator, but still good, right?”

You snapped your eyes open at his declaration and attempted to look back.

“You– You knew?”

“You didn’t think the thin walls between us could contain your moans, did you beautiful?” he kept talking in whispers to you, “Let me hear you. Properly this time.”

He increased the pressure of the water some more and brought the nozzle closer to your clit.

“Oh my fuc– Hyunjin!!!”

“Mhm. Like that,” he pecked your cheek, “Show me all your colors.”

He kept kissing your neck. Your back. Your shoulderblades. Fondled your breasts. Whispered things into your ear. You threw your hand back to his nape when he finally made you cum.

“That’s it. Let go,” he nodded to the rhythm of your convulsions against his chest, “Relaxed a little?”

“A little,” you admitted while coming down. Of course the pent-up tension of wanting him in the deepest spots of you was not going to go away with a single orgasm. 

“Not fair if all your tension is relieved at once,” Hyunjin turned you around to face him, “I need you to need me.”

Need him? How could you never not need him when he looked like that? Sounded like that? Existed like that? Infesting your mind with himself completely with just the way he looked at you?

When you looked down, you noticed he was rock hard for you, completely flushed with arousal. You never felt such an intense urge to touch something before.

“Not now,” he stopped your hand, “We have plenty of time.”

Fresh bathrobes and clean linen-scented fabric softener smell. Hyunjin unhurriedly combed your hair like he had all the time to kill in the world, and dried the excess moisture in your hair with a towel. When he was finished, he looked at you in the mirror fondly and kissed your nape. You shivered.

You weren’t used to this. You couldn’t get used to this. He wasn’t real. He was just a figment of your imagination. You couldn’t start randomly craving him. No. Just no.

Then again, it might have been a little too late for that because Hyunjin had awakened so many things inside you so far. As you walked into his room, all those urges morphed into a single entity and became impossible to ignore. He was just way too irresistible.

His lips on your nape traveled to your neck and got even wetter. Feeling his wetness on your skin was setting your body on fire. You were trying your best to be patient, but it seemed like he was trying to make you lose it as quickly as possible with his breathy kisses. It was ticklish. It was seductive. It was overwhelming. He didn’t need to seduce you any longer because you were already seduced by him since the first time you laid your eyes on him.

“You said we have plenty of time, right?”

“Of course we do, beautiful.”

You slithered your hands over the belt of his bathrobe and tugged on it.

“Then making love to you can wait a little. I need to fuck you.”

You undid his belt with one harsh pull and peeled the soft towel off of him. Hyunjin instantly responded to you by doing the same and you started devouring each other. Kisses turned into bites. Shy exhales turned into sharp hisses. Brushes of fingers turned into sinking fingertips into flesh. Adoration turned into insatiable need.

“Fuck me. Fuck me now. I’ve waited long enough.”

You had never been kissed with so much need before. It was so fucking passionate that having an orgasm to that was definitely not out of question.

“No more waiting,” Hyunjin whispered against your skin, “God, I need you so bad.”

He lifted you up and placed you on his bed, where he came to the sounds of you for countless nights. You were in complete disbelief that you were actually in his sheets. Where he slept every night. About to pleasure him for real this time.

“Your scent… Drives me fucking crazy.”

“Your taste is no different,” you spread his legs to expose him for you, “Let me.”

Hyunjin was simply the sexiest fucking thing and he reeked of someone who liked things on the freakier side. Of course one of these days you would love to blow him for an entire hour but right then was not the time. You were way too consumed with desire, and judging by how loudly he moaned when you choked on his cock, Hyunjin didn’t seem like he could keep it up for too long, either.

“Take it deeper for me, beautiful.”

Anything to get him to crumble for you like that. Anything to ascend him beyond his wildest imagination. Anything to let him know you would love him so hard he would develop an unbreakable addiction to you. Anything for him. Anything.

“So– So close. A little more.”

No, not a little more. A lot more. Hyunjin could ask for one, but you would give him ten. He deserved it. He only deserved extreme happiness and everything that came with it.

“Oh, fuck, moan for me. Louder. Louder!!!”

Making him cum felt like an out of body experience for you. Nothing could sound this provocative. Nothing could feel this inviting. This enticing. You swallowed all his load and climbed up to share his taste with him.

“This is what you taste like,” you kissed him deeply, “Make me an essence out of it, too. I want my room to smell like you.”

If Hyunjin had any more cum left inside him, he would most definitely cum again.

“Don’t– Don’t say things like that,” his voice came out as a moan, “What are you doing to me?” 

“I want your scent all over my sheets. I want to fall asleep to it. Then wake up to it,” you talked to him in soft whispers while kissing him all over, “I want to cum to it when you’re not around.”

“Fuck, kiss me. Kiss me now.”

He consumed your lips so hard that they were swollen at that point. Hyunjin intertwined his fingers in yours and descended between your legs. Finally. At long last. The one thing he was dreaming about every fucking minute of every day was right before his eyes, throbbing with a perfect sheen of gloss. You were so pent-up already that when he closed his mouth over your cunt, you knew it wasn’t going to be much longer until he snapped you.

“Fucking— Yes. Yes!!!”

Hyunjin eating your pussy was literally no different than him eating his food. With so much gusto. So much enthusiasm. Like his life depended on making you feel good. His tongue gliding on your wet folds with the laziest movements, his full lips in the middle of a very heavy makeout session with your clit to give you the deepest kiss of your life while squeezing both your hands, listening to the sounds of your pleasure, paying very close attention to your volume to know when to increase his speed and pressure. He still didn’t have the courage to say it out loud for fear of scaring you, but he was so sure of his feelings for you that it didn’t stop him from spelling ‘I love you’s on your soaked cunt with his tongue.

“Cum in my mouth, beautiful,” he punctuated his sentence with a gentle suck on your clit, “Need your taste.”

Languid licks on your clit turned into fast teases laser-focused on making you cum, and you finally drenched his lips all over. He didn’t waste a drop and once he finished drinking you, he hovered over you with hunger flashing in his darkened eyes.

“Let’s fuck.”

Hyunjin slid inside you so easily, and you wanted to die when he bottomed out. That stretch was everything you had ever imagined and more. You felt so full. So complete. Hyunjin clicked like he was the missing puzzle piece. Like he belonged there all along. Inside you. Inside your heart.

“Feel every inch of me.”

And feel him you did. He was fucking his sorrow away. He was fucking his way into your heart. He was seeping through all the cracks of your battered soul to be a permanent resident there. He was fucking you deeper in love.

“Don’t– Don’t pull out.”

His lips never left your neck as he kept fucking into you. You were incapable of controlling the urge to kiss him. You kissed him everywhere you could get your lips on. You inhaled his natural musk. You felt yourself die a little every time he whispered things into your ear. The most loving things. The filthiest things. He was buried to the hilt within you, but he still felt like he was lightyears away from you.

“Wanna make you cum again,” Hyunjin spoke as softly as possible while panting over you, “Cum all over my cock this time. Flood me.”

He rubbed your clit with his thumb fervently as he picked up his pace inside you. You were so overwhelmed. Just so overwhelmed by him.

“Look at me,” he forced you to face him, “Look into my eyes when you cum, beautiful.”

Hyunjin was incredibly beautiful especially when he was covered in a sheen of sweat like that. You were trying your utmost best not to kiss his swollen lips again because he asked you to look at him. Who would have thought? Who would have thought you’d actually be in his bed, gracing his sheets, and moaning his name under him like that? How did he get this lucky? Which country did he save in his previous life?

“Oh god, I’m– Fuck! Fuck!!!”

When he felt an excess wetness on his cock, Hyunjin let go and came so much. So fucking much. He coated you through and through like those perfect glazes you created over your desserts. 

“You’re everything,” he spoke with a muffled voice, “You’re everything, beautiful.”

What he wanted to say was you were his everything, but something was still tugging at his collar to stop him, whispering to him ‘Now is not the time’. So what, though? So what if this was your first time together? So what if you hadn’t been to five thousand dates before? Why waste all that time when he knew what he was feeling was way beyond simple infatuation? Why question everything when he knew there was nothing more he wanted than to know everything about you?

Call it being a slave to your urges or hopelessly in love, but neither of you possessed the willpower to keep your hands to yourselves. Your hands needed to be on one another at all times. Touching. Kissing. Tasting. Overloading all your senses with each other.

“Again,” you spoke against his lips, “Let’s go again.”

Your wish was his command. He could make love to you for all eternity if you asked him to. He could make you cum until your mind went numb. He could kiss you until you gasped for air, and even then he would gladly give all the oxygen in his lungs to you. Anything for you. Anything.

“Harder,” you squeezed his arms, “I can take more.”

Maybe you could, but Hyunjin most certainly could not take it anymore.

“Yes, you can. Of course, you can,” he kissed you but it felt more like a heads up, “This is where I belong. Inside you.”

Then he went off. Your moans had become way louder than before, and Hyunjin kept talking between his thrusts.

“Need… to fuck… my cum… deeper… into you…”

You wrapped your legs around him and tackled him to get on top, but Hyunjin wasn’t going to have it. He sat up, still fucking you hard from under you as he sucked on your nipples. You instinctively grabbed fistfuls of his hair and tugged on them. You didn’t expect him to like it that much, but his sharp hisses indicated that he indeed enjoyed it a little too much. When you pulled harder, he moaned louder, and you kissed him breathlessly in return.

“You’re my prince, Hyunjin,” you pressed your forehead against his, “I wanna have you all night.”

Every time you said his name, Hyunjin lost his damn mind. He turned you around to trap you under him, and held one of your legs up. You loved that angle change since it allowed him to hit that one spot, and how much you liked it was very obvious from your moans. You were trying to say something, but you couldn’t produce coherent sentences.

“You want it harder, don’t you beautiful?”

“Yes,” you clawed the sheets, “Fucking yes!”

Hyunjin threw your other leg on his shoulder and started going harder. There was a delicious pressure building inside you, and you couldn’t control your clenches anymore.

“You’re getting closer, aren’t you?” he flashed a fucked out smile, “Let go. Soak me again.”

He started going faster. The way he rubbed against your walls and grazed against that spongy texture inside you made you fucking lose it. The need. The need to make you feel good. The need to feel him in every single one of your cells. The need to die with him and then resurrect each other between one another’s lips.

You were gone. Both of you were.

“Fuck, I’m cumming. Oh, fuck Hyunj– Fuck!!!”

Hyunjin held you close as you arched towards him to ride your orgasm. He was showering you with love, with kisses, with his cum. Once he was out, he collapsed next to you to catch his breath, but the need to kiss was always there. It was never going to go away. 

You both were able to somewhat come down after some time, and when you looked at his beautiful face, you noticed that Hyunjin looked a little pensive. Like something was bothering him.

“What are you thinking about, prince?” you caressed his face.

Hyunjin looked at you with those deep doe eyes of his, and brushed your hair away from your face with his fingers.

“I miss you, beautiful,” he lovingly spoke, “I miss you even when you’re next to me.”

You were overcome with emotion. Not because of what he said, but because of how he was. Who he was. With all his shades that were far from flawless. Hyunjin didn’t live life like an average person because he wasn’t one. He lived by the things he was passionate about, little things that gave him a small but certain happiness, things that made him geek out so fucking hard. You were incredulous how anyone would be so damn blind to what a wonderful tapestry he had for a soul. He was so much more than pretty—he was emotion materialized. He was sentimentality in corporeal form. He was very abnormal about the things that fascinated him, and those were only a handful of reasons why you were head over heels for this man. He spoke to something deep inside you as much as you spoke to him. You evoked as many things in him as he evoked in you. You pulled him into a tight embrace and kissed his hair as he buried his face in your chest. He was tired. He was moved. But more importantly, after what seemed like a life sentence, he felt happy.

For any other person, there were two types of taste: pleasant and unpleasant. You would either consume the crap out of it with sheer appetite or block your tastebuds from sensing that monstrosity. But for Hyunjin, it was not as simple as that. 

Not ever since he met you.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

This is my official coming out story as a Hwanger—may or may not have sequels in the future.

Happy new year in advance.

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-R. (CB97%)

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