Hyunjin X You - Tumblr Posts

but "just friends" don't look at each other like that

pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers

warnings: none, just a lot of kissing, kinda making out in the end

summary: Hyunjin comes over to help you with your homework, but you end up completely forgetting about it

Hyunjin is a very good friend. An amazing one, something which makes this so much more difficult for you to shut down or ignore your feelings for him.

How can you possibly not fall for him when he's always. Always there for you, with you.

How can you stop thinking about him after he leaves, when he lets you cry on your favorite shirt of his, completely ruining it, telling you it's going to be just fine with that soft, calming voice.

How can you not imagine how it would be like to be more than just friends when he's so, so perfect.

Even his imperfections seem to be perfect and he makes everything look so easy.

You can't help but miss him when he's gone, you can't even stand a day without him being around.

Sighing, you finish your cup of tea, placing it down, when your phone vibrates on the mini table of your living room.

"Hello?" You pick up, not looking at the display.

"Y/n, hey! Are you busy?" Hyunjin asks enthusiastically.

"Hyunjin, hi." You smile. "No, not at all, what's up?"

"Guess what?" He also smiles.

"What?" You bite your lip, a habit you picked up while talking to him.

You love it when he calls you randomly, just when you don't expect it.

"I got some yummy, fancy food. And your favorite wine. Are you free?" He says full of hope to see you again, the last time he saw you last weekend feeling so far away.

You want to scream "yes" in happiness, but then remember you have a homework you still haven't finished and got to study for the next exam too.

"That sounds amazing Hyunjin. But I have so much to study, I don't know how I'll make it to be honest." Your voice breaking, your disappointment and discouragement are obvious to him.

"Hey...it's okay." He knows you're about to cry. He knows you so well even through a call.

"I'll help you study. Then we eat together, what do you say? Hmm?" He suggests.

"Okay but...it's a lot Hyunnie, you better hurry." You let out a small chuckle, wanting to hug him so tight.

"I'm on my way cutie." He laughs silently hanging up.

You smile, spreading your books and highlight pens on the table, as you wait for him.

He always knows what to say or do to make you feel better. To make you feel special.

-

After a few minutes you hear a knock on the door. You rush to open it and reveal a tall, black hoodie dressed Hyunjin, with boxes of food in his hands, along with your favorite Rosé wine.

Your eyes soften at the sight of him, smiling so brightly at you.

You take one of his boxes from his hands and bury your face in his chest, hugging him tight, arms wrapping around his neck.

He chuckles in your hair, breathing in.

You can't help but stand up on your feet and press a light kiss on his cold cheek.

"Thank you Hyunjinnie." You say, stepping aside to let him walk inside your apartment.

"Something is different in here." He notices looking around.

"Yeah...can you guess what?" You smile walking into the kitchen with the food, sitting down on your bar chairs.

"Y/n..." He says in a serious tone as you look at his face.

His eyes light up with a new, completely unknown emotion to you.

"You hung up my drawings...even framed them, really?" The look on his face is so soft, you think you're going to start crying.

"Yeah...I just love your drawings. Also I painted the walls a different color and..." You shrug. "I don't know, I just felt that it really matches it and the atmosphere."

He stays quiet, starring at you for a couple of seconds, but then comes closer to you.

And man, your heart is skipping so many beats at once, is this even possible?

"Hyunjin...if you don't want it I'll put them awa-"

And then, he kisses you.

Places his lips on yours, not even moving them. Just holding them there. When he pulls away, way too quickly by the way, your legs suddenly become like jelly. Heart beating so fast, you fear he can hear it too.

It happened so fast, it was almost like just two seconds.

Your mouth hangs open now, the feeling of his lips still on yours.

When you don't have the power or idea to say something, he apologizes, looking away in shame, his ears and cheeks turning pink.

You think you're going to throw up eventually, the emotions overwhelming you.

"Don't. Don't apologize." You simply say, embarrassment making your cheeks become a bright shade of red.

"I just kissed you, oh God, it's not okay." He panics and you pray he doesn't regret it.

"But Hyunjin. I liked it..." You let out, now looking at the ground. Playing with the rings on your fingers, the long shirt you're wearing, anything.

When you say that he looks at you in surprise almost, exhaling.

"I just...I'm sorry it was so sudden." He pauses. "I'm such an idiot."

"You're my favorite idiot then." You hear yourself say, locking eyes with him for what feels like the first time after the kiss.

He's so pretty, all blushy like that, his lips swollen.

"It means a lot to me." He chuckles. "Also the way you hung up my drawings...thank you." He says looking you in the eyes.

"You're so passionate about the things you do...so delicate. I just find you really..." You can't find the right words to tell him.

"Perfect." You look up and feel your cheek burn like they never did before. Are you having a fever?

His eyebrows furrow together in a soft 'aww' way.

"I find you really perfect too." He smiles, finding your hands, holding them into his big ones.

He smells so good and you suddenly want him close. Need to feel him close.

"Hug me." You whisper looking at the way he holds your hands, brushing over your fingers with his thumb.

"Anything for you." He whispers back and it's so romantic that you can't help but melt into his large arms, and oversized, good smelling hoodie.

You're addicted to him, the way he looks, behaves, the way he is with you, how he smells...you're in love with everything he is.

"I love you." You let out, not caring about anything anymore, because you never needed anyone more than you need him right now.

"I love you too." He places kisses on your head and forehead and you think if you could die from feeling so full of love for someone, you would definitely die on the spot.

Still holding him in your arms, caressing his back, you look up to see him already looking at you.

"Can I kiss you? Just making sure I won't scare you away this time." He laughs, now holding your chin.

You nod, smiling.

Everything seems to be so easy with Hyunjin. It's like you're made for each other.

"The food is cold now." You say sadly after the kiss.

"Really? That's all you care about right now?" He looks at you with one of his judging faces.

"Hyunjinnnn, we have so much to do." You say, fake crying.

"We have timeee." He assures you, sitting down to open the boxes.

You sit down next to him, admiring his side profile.

"I have an idea." You suddenly say, standing up.

You bring some good smelling candles lighting them up, placing two big glasses for the wine on the table too.

"This is so romantic." He compliments, loving every second of it.

You look satisfied with your work and as you see the tteokbokki with extra cheese, your mouth waters.

"Oh God." You groan just looking at it.

"Indeed." He agrees. "Bon Appétit, mon amour." He says in a fake french accent and you laugh it off, saying the same.

You eat in silence, a few things such as "it's so good" and "thank you hyunjin", the only sentences spoken.

When you finish eating he opens the bottle of wine, with a bow.

"For you madame." He pours into the glass with so much elegance you can't help but think again, he really is perfect.

"For the lucky boyfriend." He pretends to talk to someone, bowing again. "Oh wait that's me." He quickly moves on the chair pretending to thank the waiter (who is also him).

You laugh so much your tummy hurts.

He loves to make you laugh, loves to hear your laugh.

"Are you my boyfriend?" You ask as he puts the bottle away.

"Well...are you my girlfriend?" He asks instead, smirking.

"Hyunjin-ah!~" You say tired of the playing.

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Yes or yes? There's only one correct answer." He smiles like he said the most logical thing on earth.

You raise an eyebrow smirking. "Are you proposing to me, or asking me to be your girlfriend, Mr. Hwang?" You joke back.

"Both." He says with an eye smile.

"Anyways, yes." You shrug, ignoring his comment, drinking your wine unbothered.

He laughs again, and you want to learn lots of jokes to hear that sound again and again.

"Yes to what?" He raises his eyebrows like he's in shock. "Just kidding."

You push his shoulder and smile, while once again admiring his handsome face.

Taking your hand while holding his glass of wine in the other, he leads you to the balcony.

You didn't realize it already got late, but you're glad it did, because you hope he'll want to spend the night with you.

Looking at the night sky full of stars, you decide Hyunjin is still your favorite thing to look at.

Taking the almost finished drink from your hands, he sets it down on a small table next to him, along with his.

He holds your waist closer, pulling you into his chest, holding you close again.

"Don't ask me anymore if you want to kiss me again." You say when he stares at your lips.

He nods, kissing you for the 3rd time tonight, but this is the first time he holds your face, waist, and kisses you so deeply, full of passion.

"You're my favorite person." He whispers in your ear, brushing your hair away from your face.

The wind is blowing, and it's really cold, but he makes you feel so warm, it's insane.

"You're mine too." You say finding yourself holding his face close, putting your lips on his again.

His kisses are like drugs and you end up wanting more of them. More of him. All of him.

You end up kissing on your way out of the balcony. Then on the way to your room and finally on your bed, where it gets more intense.

He kisses you like he never gets enough, just like you.

"You're so beautiful." He says when kissing your shoulders and collarbones, neck and jaw, then lips again.

"Hyunjin." You sigh, throwing your head back, when he sucks on a certain spot on your neck.

"Hmmm." He says satisfied when he hears you squirm under him.

"Oh God, Hyunjin." You exhale, as he presses his knee between your legs.

Pulling his hair, you can't get enough of the feeling of his lips on you.

"What do you want me to do?" He asks, still kissing your neck.

"A lot of things... But for now just please... kiss me more." You tell him, holding his face in your hands.

"Where do you want me to kiss you, my princess?" He seductively looks at you.

"Anywhere, everywhere." You let out, pulling his face closer to yours.

Kissing him, you know that is a thing you'll certainly miss when he's not gonna be around.

"We have time the whole night, love." He whispers.

❤️

lord have mercy...

cashmere and forevers (sharp edges epilogue)

{ 18+ only. minors/ageless blogs dni. ≡ masterlist ≡ series masterlist }

pairing: hyunjin x afab reader | wordcount: 11k | genre: painter au, romance, brief smut | general warnings: christmas special, events occur one year after the ending of sharp edges. ungrateful kkami (affectionate), mentions of past angst, suggestive content, fluff, sharp edges citrus brainrot, food & drinking. contains explicit sexual content, more warnings under the cut. warnings contain spoilers. thank you to everyone who has given sharp edges some love. ♡ it is mandarin season, friends. 🍊

“Goodbye Mrs. Hwang, Mr. Hwang. Thank you so much for coming over.” You wave at them as they’re making their way to the elevator. “Goodbye Kkami, too! Merry Christmas!” 

“Bye mom, bye dad!” A warm hand presses itself on the small of your back. Hyunjin leans against you, squeezing you gently against the frame of the door. His breath is warm when it touches your hair. When he speaks, you can almost feel the vibrations of his voice in your chest, like an echo of your own heartbeat. “Bye Kkami, you be a good dog, right? Don’t—” 

The small chihuahua that Mrs. Hwang is holding in her arms groans before letting out a loud bark, making Hyunjin’s parents laugh at the scene. They wave at you as the elevator doors open, and Mr. Hwang has the grace of grabbing one of Kkami’s front paws to make him wave back at Hyunjin. You wait until they’ve disappeared before closing the door of your apartment and locking it.

“Please stop laughing at me,” Hyunjin begs, wrapping you snuggly in his arms and letting you rest the side of your face in the crook of his neck. “It hurts my pride. I’ve only ever spoiled this dog, I’ve never even raised my voice at him… Why can’t he love me?”

“Maybe that’s his love language,” you suggest, looking up to place a few kisses along Hyunjin’s jaw. “The one he has for you only, you know? You’re special.”

“Shut up.” Hyunjin frames your face with his large hands and you gaze at him, at his eyes full of stars, at his wine-stained mouth. His burgundy lips curve into a soft smile as he runs his tongue on them, leaving them moist, and glossy. Inviting. “If you’re naughty, you’re not getting your present. Think about it.” 

You can hardly take your eyes off his mouth. “We did say no gifts,” you remind him. This is the first Christmas you spend as a couple, officially living in what used to be your apartment but is now yours and Hyunjin’s. “Unless you’re suggesting the gift isn’t from you… Does that mean Santa is real, then?”

The smile turns playful. “I’m saying only good girls get their Christmas presents.” Hyunjin pulls away from you before leaning right back, tilting his head as he brings his face closer to yours. His breath smells like the red wine you’ve had with the beef, rice cakes and pajeon. His breath smells like the love you have for him and it makes you drunk. 

Warmth fills you when Hyunjin’s hands move to your waist, pressing you closer to him. You bite your lip, eager to kiss him. He wants it just as much as you—this, you can see in his eyes. The color of his irises might be dark brown but they are always full of light when Hyunjin looks at you. 

You are in love with Hyunjin, and he is in love with you. So he kisses you, pressing his plush lips against yours gently as if he were afraid to hurt you. But he could never hurt you. Not like that. His mouth tastes like wine and like the mandarin cake you had for dessert. His lips are sticky with the honey glaze it was covered in. Hyunjin’s mouth is sweet, sweet, sweet. Sweeter than any dessert, than any sunset. Not cloying, not sickening. You will never have enough of him. You will never not want to drown in him, in the warmth of his body, in the smoothness of his tongue as it twirls in your mouth. You will never not love him. 

Hyunjin deepens the kiss, breathing you in. You give him your air, your love. His mouth controls yours, the scalding kisses, the wet noises of your mouths lewd enough to make you dizzy. You feel his smile against you, so you kiss him back with yours. 

A faint sigh escapes you when he pulls away for air, but the sight of his flushed cheeks would be enough to mend any scar on your soul. 

“I still can’t quite tell if you’ve been a good girl or not,” Hyunjin teases, leaving a small peck on your nose. “I think I will have to study your case a little more.” 

You giggle, heat spreading at the back of your neck and between your legs. Hyunjin must sense it because he pulls you by the waist, pressing you flush against him. You have to take a deep breath to calm down, the fluttering of your heart a little too distracting—but certainly not as much as the way Hyunjin’s hands are waltzing on your body. “We really said no gifts, Hyun, just a dinner at a nice restaurant,” you remind him as if he suffered from memory loss. “To save money.”

Hyunjin nods but shakes his head with indifference, his burgundy smile blinding you. “So you’re telling me you didn’t get me anything, angel love?” 

Hyunjin’s beauty hits you every time you lay your eyes upon him but never quite the same way. Black hair framing a face that would make angels weep. A mouth that dances. Eyes you like to get lost in, jumping to your demise in them. Tonight, he reminds you of lights through a window on a rainy day, little droplets running along the glass, diffusing the colorful lights like tiny miracles. You lick your lips just to taste him again, just a little more, taste the kiss he gave you. 

You stare at him in silence, your gaze flicking from his eyes to his mouth to the nice sweater he’s wearing to the small Christmas tree at the back of the living room. You try to come up with some excuse for the bag you’ve hidden in your side of the closet. The one decorated with pretty ribbons. The one with Hyunjin’s name on it. 

“I knew it.” Hyunjin doesn’t even need your response to know. One would say that he can read you like an open book but that’s not quite right. Hyunjin reads you the way a troubled man reads poetry. “Of course I got a gift for my girlfriend,” he adds before taking your mouth again and this time, the kiss is a little deeper.

Your back hits the wall behind you and you jump, surprised, as if you had forgotten that walls existed. As if you had forgotten that buildings existed, with floors too and ceilings and Christmas trees and dirty dishes in the sink. When Hyunjin kisses you, there is only him, and the taste of a cake you’ve baked with the Jeju mandarins he bought this morning. His hand finds your face again, cupping your cheek swiftly as if he feared you would evade him. But he had you locked in the moment he sat next to you in a painting class, and you have no wish to escape this sweet prison. 

You grab him, his shirt first then his waist, overly aware of the belt holding his jeans. You deepen the kiss and one might think you are trying to choke Hyunjin with your tongue—and one might be surprised to find out that it makes Hyunjin cum hard when you choke him with anything. 

But, once again, Hyunjin pulls away. His eyes, hooded by the hunger he only has for you, are fixated on your mouth. He bites his lip so hard you’re afraid he’ll cut it open. If he did, you would simply kiss him better, same as he would do for you. Someone could have ripped your chest open and he would kiss the wound until it was mended and healed and gone. 

“It’s a time-sensitive gift,” Hyunjin explains. From what you can feel in his jeans, he’s seriously considering giving you something else instead of the present. “Let’s go.” 

Hyunjin takes your hand in his and drags you towards the bedroom. You pass through the kitchen which is a mess of plates and pots and containers. When he senses your hesitation, he squeezes your hand tighter in his. “I’ll clean everything later, my angel. Let me give you the gift.” 

You could resist. You could insist that the saucepans need to at least soak if they’re not going to be washed now, that there are leftovers to put in the fridge. But you don’t really mind, and it’s good. It’s good to just exist with Hyunjin, not having to pretend to be the most responsible person. Recently, he had started leaving some clothes in the dryer instead of taking them out immediately. 

That day, you had needed to sit down. Your clean laundry was in the washer but you sat on the edge of the bathtub, looking at the clothes in the dryer. Hyunjin’s clothes for the most part, and some of yours. He always checked your laundry basket when he started his, so that day he had washed a few of your dark t-shirts along with his. And he had left them there before going out for drinks with Minho and Changbin. 

Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. You thought that you couldn’t love, that your heart had died after being starved for too long. Worse yet—not only had it been starved, it had been fed something foul. And the murk had run through your veins for a long while, rendering you blind to everything.

Everything except the color orange, apparently. “It’s mandarin season,” Hyunjin had told you, but he might just as well have said, “I will remind you that you have a heart and that it can love.” 

You had folded Hyunjin’s laundry and yours with tears in your eyes. The day after, Hyunjin had washed your favorite coffee mug to make sure it would be there for you in the morning. Not a single word had been spoken about it. Or about the other things. When one cooked the other’s favorite food, when one took it upon themselves to clean all the windows or buy the fancy fabric softener to make the bed sheets smell sweet and fresh. 

Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. And now you were folding your boyfriend’s laundry and he was washing your dishes and he kissed you like he was a painter and you were a canvas. Like he was paint and you were the paint brush. 

Like he was a dancer, and you were the music. 

Hyunjin kisses the top of your head when you make it to the bedroom. “Sit on the bed and close your eyes, will you, love?” His voice is soft yet blood orange. If he asked you to bash your head against the wall you would do it. If he asked you to kiss him until you both drowned into each other, you would do it. 

So you sit on the edge of the bed and close your eyes, your heart beating fast. “Hyun, while you’re at it, why don’t you get your gift too,” you suggest, suppressing a laugh. “I hid it behind the box where I keep my summer clothes.” 

Hyunjin’s laugh could heal masses and you listen to it like an experienced hiker listens to the sounds of the forest around them, finding prodigies in it. The brushing of leaves, creaking of trunks. Bird songs, animal calls. Hyunjin is the forest and the bird song all at once. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it, you really didn’t hide it that well!” You laugh with him, keeping your eyes closed. 

Hyunjin leaves the room for a few minutes. “Where did you hide the gift then?” You try to think—if it’s not in the closet, there aren’t many places it can be.

His voice answers you from the hallway—he went into the living room before making his way to the bathroom. “You can’t reach the top shelf.” He laughs again. “It was so easy to hide it.” 

You scoff. “I totally knew it was there.” But when Hyunjin returns to the bedroom, he sits next to you and kisses you so deeply that you forget your bluff. Hyunjin rarely just kisses you. Sometimes he does but it feels more like a delicate mist over a field of wildflowers. Sometimes his kisses feel like hurricanes. Sometimes they feel like warm coffee in the morning or a glass of expensive gin. 

Hyunjin lets go of your mouth. “Smell this,” he whispers into your ear. You hear something being put close to your face, so you inhale deeply. 

Nostalgia fills you at the same time as the scent fills your lungs. A rich scent, floral, reminding you of a sunrise. A familiar scent, one that you could make out anywhere.

You smile against the jasmine flowers that are tickling your skin. “Hyunjin—”

“Okay, open your eyes now.” 

Hyunjin is holding a small package wrapped in a cardboard box he painted himself. He painted jasmines on it and they are so lifelike that you can barely make out the real branch of jasmine that’s attached to the box. It has a white silk ribbon around it, tied in an elegant bow. The smell of the flowers fills you with memories of the first time Hyunjin gave you the same flower. It was the morning of the day he came back. 

Jasmines smell like sunrises and love. Just that. And not just any love—Hyunjin’s love. They smell like folded laundry and a cup of tea prepared just because he thought you wanted one. They smell like love at first sight. They smell like letters sent from Australia, like watercolors drying on skin, like Jeju mandarins. 

You take the box that Hyunjin is handing to you but you don’t open it yet. You don’t need to. The box could be empty and it would be alright. He painted the flowers on them so delicately it makes you want to cry. Even without that. Even without the box and the painted jasmines and the real flowers. You are in love with Hyunjin and he is in love with you, and it is enough. 

“Open yours first?” you suggest, blushing even harder than when he was pressing his crotch against you. “It isn’t much…” 

Hyunjin checks the time on his watch. “Okay, we have enough time.” 

“What? Where are we going?” You take the bag and give it to him. 

“Angel. You’ll find out soon.” Hyunjin shakes his head but smiles as he focuses on the bag you’ve put together for him. 

You couldn’t resist buying it when you saw it at a store—it was a simple back with a white background, decorated with two mandarins on it. One of the oranges had been split in two and the other one was intact. On that one, you had hand drawn a little face, just two dots for the eyes and a smile for its mouth. 

Hyunjin touches the face you drew, his elegant fingers tracing it gently. Your gaze trails away momentarily, making its way to his bedside table where you see the orange plushie you gave him that time. You often catch him looking at it and it never fails to make your heart flutter. 

“You really didn’t have to get me anything,” he says. “But that’s a little hypocritical of me to say that, isn’t it?” 

You let out a soft laugh. You’ve missed him. He is often at the dance school and you are often giving art classes or attending exhibits. But it’s alright. Sometimes you are already asleep when he gets home, and the sound of his shower wakes you up gently. You kiss him when he slides under the covers and pulls you against his tired body, but you know he is grateful for this tired body. His damp hair often smells like your shampoo. 

Often, he makes love to you then, the water from his hair running on your skin like tiny miracles. He whispers his scarlet love into your ear or your pussy, fucks it deep into you, he unmakes you and makes you over and over again, and you are grateful for your tired body, your filled cunt, your sore throat. You kiss Hyunjin’s neck to soothe the ache from your fingers or your teeth. You will never not love him. 

Hyunjin opens his gift excitedly, humming his favorite song of the moment. The gift is quite simple—you got him the paint brushes he had been drooling over for the past few weeks as well as fancy oil paints to go along with them, as well as his favorite hand cream, the one from Paris. You also bought him a bracelet. It was mostly silver except for the small bead of sapphire that decorated it. Two months ago, he had unfortunately broken his favorite bracelet and it couldn’t be fixed—so you just figured you could get him a new one.

“Sapphire,” Hyunjin comments. He lifts his gaze from the bracelet and he looks at the necklace around your neck, the one he gave you the same day the jasmines were delivered to your place. The chain is delicate, made of silver too, and the oval pendant had an authentic Australian sapphire on it. 

“You know the symbolism behind sapphire, don’t you?” You touch the pendant, remembering that day in the studio. How Hyunjin had danced for you, just for you, to show you that he was whole again. That day, he had said that sapphires were a synonym for eternal love. 

“Oh…” Hyunjin returns his attention to his gift and you take it from his palm to help tie it safely around his wrist. It looked stunning against his honey skin, resting on his elegant wrist bone. “It’s too much, angel love.” 

“It’s not. If you don’t like it, we—”

Hyunjin takes your hand in his, staring into your eyes, pouring orange sunsets into your soul. “I love it. Thank you so much.” He pulls you into a kiss that tastes like wine and sapphires. You kiss him back, basking in the wetness of his mouth, the luxury of his lips. “Thank you, my angel,” he says into your mouth. “I love you.” 

You kiss him with a smile. “I love you too, Hyun.” But when you try to resume the kiss, he nods and sits straight, putting the jasmine-adorned box back into your hands. 

“Your turn,” he insists. 

You undo the ribbon carefully, the cool silk reminding you of vermilion reds and making love blindly and painting blacks on a canvas. You put the flowers and ribbon aside to discover the contents of the box. 

A white envelope catches your eye and you stare at Hyunjin, puzzled. He simply invites you to open it with eager nods of his head, his long hair flowing with him. You like looking at his hair when he dances. He often dances just for you, moving his body to the sound it makes when you fuck yourself while watching him. He dances in the same way he fucks you, like he needs it to live, like he lives to dance or to make love to you. Like he had his hip fixed just so he could fuck you deeper. Like he is running away from a fire or, maybe, like he is becoming the flames. Like he will never not love you. 

The envelope contains concert tickets. Good seats, too—excellent even. And not just any tickets… You tried to get tickets for this concert but they sold out immediately as this music group might be your favorite—but they’re also excessively popular. By the time you decided you as an adult should spend this outrageous amount of money on tickets to see a concert, there were no tickets left. Except you are holding four of them in your hands right now.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” You can’t take your eyes off the pieces of paper you’re holding. “HOW DID YOU GET THIS?”

You heard Hyunjin’s smile coating his voice as the words made it out of his lips. “I’d love to say that I know a guy who knows a guy and whatnot, but really I just bought them the day they went on presale.”

“PRESALE? THAT’S SO MUCH MONEY!” 

Hyunjin giggles when he takes the tickets from your hands and presses his thumb against your lips. “We have neighbors,” he reminds you. “I know we said we should save money, okay? But I wanted today to be special for you. I wanted to make you happy.”

You look at him, at the way he beams at you. “You make me happy every day.” There’s a lump forming in your throat. “Hyunjin… Thank you so much. You’ll come with me? Please? Let’s go with Minho and Felix!” 

“Of course I’ll go with you, my angel.” Hyunjin pushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re so beautiful one of the guys from the group will try to steal you away from me.” Your face turns boiling hot in a matter of milliseconds, but Hyunjin doesn’t let you look away from him. “So beautiful…” he repeats, observing you carefully, leaning closer to you. “I swear you drive me crazy.” 

Hyunjin kisses you softly, his fingers entangled in your hair, his other hand running up your thigh. 

“No one can take me away from you,” you point out. “No one. I love you, Hyunjin.”

“My angel.” He just breathes it into your mouth and you taste his words. They taste just like how jasmine flowers smell. “There’s something else in the box.” 

You do remember him saying the gift was time sensitive—but the concert is in two months, so you look at the box again. There’s something else in it, wrapped in periwinkle paper. It’s soft in your hands and you can guess it’s fabric before you’ve unwrapped it fully.

It’s a scarf. A beautiful cashmere scarf, its color a turquoise so deep you can’t believe it’s real. It’s like you’re holding a piece of the ocean, the ripples in the fabric mimicking the gentle waves of the sea, the color an exact replica of an ocean under a sunny day. It’s as soft as silk, feeling like a thousand kisses on your skin. You immediately wrap it around your neck and shoulders, letting it embrace you. 

“Oh wow, Hyun.” You caress the scarf again. “It’s so soft. And pretty.”

Hyunjin looks at you intently. “Just like you, angel love. It looks perfect on you, just as I imagined.” You had thought that he was about to kiss you, but instead Hyunjin gets up from the bed and offers you his hand to take. “Alright, we’ve gotta go now.”

“Go where?”

“Well I gave you this scarf to keep you warm. We’re going out.”

“But it’s Christmas night, where can we even go?” Still, you get up and take his hand as he guides you towards the living room. 

“Dress warmly,” he advises. As you’re zipping up your best boots, you hear a notification from Hyunjin’s phone. “The car’s here,” he tells you. “Are you ready?”

But he doesn’t need you to answer. He adjusts the cashmere scarf so that it covers you best and actually zips up your padded coat, whose dark gray color looks nice with the turquoise scarf. 

And so you leave your apartment like that, with dirty dishes in the sink and a few pancakes still in the pan, drying there. But Hyunjin holds your gloved hand as you make your way to an Uber that’s waiting for you. You try to calm your heart rate as you look at the road from the window, but you realize you’re not afraid. 

How could you be afraid? You are with Hyunjin. He has an arm around your shoulders as he makes small talk with the driver who is pointing out that it’s starting to snow a little. 

After some time, Hyunjin asks you to close your eyes again and you oblige. You trust him. You trusted him with your heart once and you never regretted that. You trust him with your life. Every time he kisses you, you hand him a piece of your soul and he hands you a piece of his, and both are safe with the other. Nothing else needs to be said. 

You can’t see but Hyunjin guides you slowly as a soft breeze caresses your face. You feel the snowflakes in it, you feel them melt on your warm cheeks. “Where are we going?” you ask, but you know he won’t tell you.

Hyunjin wraps an arm around your waist. You can see lights from behind your eyelids, but you can’t hear much. Some cars. In the distance, Christmas music, with bells and joy in every note. “Do you remember last year after I came back?” Hyunjin asks, his voice softer than the cashmere around your neck. “Do you remember the movie we watched?”

You think about it, but not for long. “Of course I remember.” You walk with Hyunjin, completely unafraid. “The winter movie, with the guy trying everything to seduce the girl and her head was so deep into her own ass that she didn’t even see that he loved her!” You couldn’t forget that movie. Or rather, you couldn’t forget the taste of the mandarins that you shared with Hyunjin as you watched it, couldn’t forget the way he had fucked you so hard on your couch just after that you had almost blacked out.

“Yes, that one.” Hyunjin stops and you stop too, the excitement alone enough to keep you warm. “Okay, wait here. Don’t move. Don’t open your eyes.” 

So you wait there. And you don’t open your eyes. The music is a little louder here and you let it remind you of good things. You let it remind you of the orange plushie and the portrait that Hyunjin gave you. He painted you from memory. That portrait is still displayed somewhere, but not in your apartment anymore—Hyunjin wanted it at the dance school. You see it every time you walk in the upstairs hallway on your way to Hyunjin’s dance studio. You see the beauty he sees in you. 

You hear Hyunjin’s voice faintly too, as well as another person's. But it doesn’t take long until he’s back.

“Angel love,” he tells you. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Hyunjin is standing in front of you, holding two pairs of ice skating shoes. His smile is bright enough to light up the whole entire world, you think, but the location you are at has adequate lighting and you make out an outdoor ice skating rink. It’s not very large, but the fence around its circle shape is decorated with amber-color string lights. 

Your heart drops in your chest—you don’t even know where to look. “Hyunjin—”

Hyunjin hands you a pair of ice skates. “You thought I forgot what we said when we watched that movie? I didn’t.” He hadn’t forgotten. And you hadn’t either, but you never thought it would be for real. It had simply left your mind somewhere between the end of the movie and the second time Hyunjin had drilled you into the couch that night. 

The movie was simple, basic, but one of the things that the guy tried to do to get the girl was to take her ice skating at night—and that had been the moment she had realized she loved him, too. Your heart was already full of love then, but you had watched the scene with endearment, commenting that it looked so romantic and so fun. 

“Next Christmas, I’ll take you ice skating,” Hyunjin had said.

And today is next Christmas and you are sitting on a wooden bench as Hyunjin helps you into your skates. He gets into his and guides you into the rink after the employee he was talking to earlier wishes you a good time and reminds the both of you that he has hot chocolate if you want some. 

You’re too stunned to speak. You haven’t skated since your teenage years and it takes you a few minutes to remember the feel of it, or maybe it’s because Hyunjin took you by surprise. There’s no one else around, just the two of you, the faint music playing somewhere and the sounds of your blades sliding on the ice. 

Hyunjin takes your two hands in his and skates backwards just so he can face you. He’s beautiful, his cheeks pink, the snowflakes in his hair. The love in his eyes, which you know is the same color as the love in yours. “I love you, my angel.” 

“I love you too, baby.” You’re skating very slowly. He guides you just as much as you guide him. “Hyunjin… this is… this is the best gift I’ve ever received.” 

He smiles and brakes gently. You’re not as comfortable as he is with the whole concept of braking and you stumble against Hyunjin a little—thankfully, you both end up against the sturdy fence before any of you can fall down.

And you laugh. And he laughs. And it’s good and easy. There are tears on your faces but you don’t know if they’re from laughing or from the overwhelming emotions taking over you. As if you were no longer in control. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” you admit, grateful for the little pause against the fence. Ice skating looked a lot easier in the movie than it is in real life—you’re a lot less graceful than the girl had been. 

“A good dream, I hope?” His smile is shy then—coy, almost. Hyunjin keeps your hands in his and you wish it wasn’t so cold and that you didn’t need to wear gloves. You miss his skin against yours. 

You kiss his cheek, feeling the cool snowflakes under your skin. “I can’t believe you did this for me, Hyunjin…” And it’s true. You can’t believe it. “You’re crazy.”

“I did say that you drive me crazy, angel love.” Hyunjin laughs, and it sounds like a song.

Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. You thought that your heart was dead and cold and dark. But you were wrong. And you’re grateful you were wrong.

You often think about Mrs. Yoo. You took over her painting classes and then took over more classes, too, until you had to leave your other job and work at the art studio full-time. Some days you give the regular lessons and some days you give private ones. Once in a while, you discover that Hyunjin booked an hour of private lessons. Sometimes you paint together in the art studio where you fell in love with him at first sight.

Sometimes you suck his cock dry just to hear his moans and his whimpers fill the empty room. 

But you often think about how he was put on your path. Or how you allowed him to change the atoms that make you you. Sometimes you wonder what your life would be like if he hadn’t taken the easel next to yours. If he hadn’t brought a mandarin from Jeju with him that day. 

Sometimes you wonder how it is possible for your heart to love this easily, never wanting anything in return. Sometimes you wonder how it is possible that you just love and that it is enough. The easiest, the purest kind of love. Sometimes love looks like a Jeju mandarin. Sometimes love looks like going away and adding another crescent-shaped scar on our body just to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror. Sometimes love looks like a white silk ribbon and watercolor bruises. Sometimes love looks like a ripe peach, like peeling a persimmon for someone else even though we don’t like the taste of them.

Sometimes love looks like snowflakes melting in black hair, like a burgundy mouth, like turquoise cashmere. But to you, love just looks like Hyunjin. 

“I came here to tell you something,” he says after a while. “Something important. You might want to break up with me, actually.”

You think he’s joking—surely he’s joking—but one look at his face reveals that he, in fact, is not joking. Not at all. Hyunjin has turned to face you and is staring at you with a very serious expression on his face. 

Your thoughts run well ahead of you, evading you like water through your fingers. Tell you something? That would make you break up with him?

Has he cheated on you? Why would he rent a whole fucking ice skating rink to tell you that he’s cheating? Why would he do that on Christmas night after you’ve had a very nice dinner with his parents? Why? Why would he cheat on you, and with who?

The words spill from your lips before you can stop them. “Are you seeing someone else?” Your voice is shaking. “Hyunjin? Tell me please.”

“No, god, NO!” Hyunjin buries his face into his hands. When he gets out of there, he’s red all over and panic has set in his eyes. “Never, my love. Never. I love you, only you. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. That’s… that’s what I want to talk about.”

Your heart seems to have processed Hyunjin’s words—it calmed down in your chest a little, but there are still a few tears threatening to roll down your cheeks and your mind is still running marathons. 

“But I did lie to you,” Hyunjin goes on, “the night I confessed my feelings to you. I gave you a rose and I told you it came with a label that said…” Hyunjin paused, hesitating.

You finished his sentence for him. “That one light pink rose meant love at first sight.”

“Yes.” Hyunjin gulped thickly. “I lied. I’m sorry. There was no label. I just bought the rose to confess my love and when the time came I… I got scared and…”

You stare at Hyunjin as if he is speaking another language. As if you can’t understand what he’s saying. Except you understand very well—your mind stops in its tracks, millimeters away from crashing into a brick wall. 

“There was no label with the rose?” You feel a strange sensation in your chest, something that you think you recognize but something you’re not sure belongs there right now. “You made that up?” 

Hyunjin nods slowly. “Yes. I’m sorry, angel.”

“What about the sapphire? On the necklace?” You suddenly become aware of the silver ring around your neck, protected by your cashmere scarf. “Was that made up too?” 

Hyunjin bites his lip. “Not really. Actually, I took the information from the rings section, so I don’t know if it applies to necklaces too… I mean it’s not as made up as the rose one, for sure.” 

And then you know with certainty what the sensation in your chest is when a few ugly cackles escape your throat before you burst out in a hysterical fit of laughter. You laugh so hard that the tears do roll on your cheeks, only not for the dramatic reason they had been brought into your eyes in the first place. You laugh so hard that you slide against the fence behind you, finding yourself on your knees, on the ice, a hand on your stomach. You laugh so hard it hurts. 

“Angel,” Hyunjin says but you barely hear him. “Angel, are you… are you okay? I’m sorry I lied, I loved you the moment I saw you, I—”

“YOU SCARED THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF ME, HWANG HYUNJIN—” You manage to speak most of the sentence with the little oxygen that is left in your lungs. You take a few deep breaths, always interrupted by more laughter. “Don’t ever do this to me again! I thought you were having an affair or something!” 

The ice is cold against your knees but you don’t mind it. Still, Hyunjin helps you up and looks you right in the eyes. “You’re not mad at me? Because I lied?”

“Are you kidding me?” You take off your gloves, shoving them into your pockets—to hell with cold. You brush your fingers in Hyunjin’s hair, trace his jawline with your index. “Hyunjin, that’s one of the most adorable things I’ve ever heard.” 

Hyunjin lets out a long sigh, relieved. He pulls you against him, kissing the top of your head over and over. “Thank god,” he manages between kisses. “I couldn’t live with myself knowing I had lied to you… Not knowing if your feelings might not have been the same if…”

“Hyunjin, do you really think my feelings for you are based on a hypothetical label that hypothetically came with a rose you bought me? Did you forget that you also bought chocolate cake for me on that same trip to the store? And a toothbrush because you wanted me to spend the night. And condoms. You can’t be serious right now. Rethinking our whole relationship… because you panicked when you confessed?” 

You felt so warm inside. Like on the first day of spring after a cold summer. Like after a glass of wine, or after a shower. Sometimes, you get out of the shower only to find that Hyunjin drew something in the condensation on the mirror. Sometimes he draws a heart, or he writes ‘I love you’. One day, you found a whole scenery with a river and mountains in the mirror. That picture is still your phone background. 

“Now I feel like an idiot.” But Hyunjin is smiling so wide that you see his teeth. He looks like an angel in the amber light of the skating rink. He looks like a promise, like a blessing. But not like an idiot. “You really don’t mind? You still love me?”

You sigh but still kiss him, playing with his lips, with his tongue, just a few instants. He is the best kind of drug, but you can’t go long without tasting his mouth. “Hyunjin, I fell in love with you when you sat down next to me and you told me that it was mandarin season. I don’t care about the label on the rose, and I don’t care that you took your information on sapphire necklaces in the rings section. I love you, okay?”

“My angel.” Hyunjin kisses you again, the act warming up your whole body. He never just kisses you. He always, always does so mindfully, like he is trying to communicate something and his kisses are a form of sign language. “Angel love.” It’s all he says, and it’s all he has to say. You do not need a code to understand him. 

You are in love with Hyunjin, and he is in love with you. He rearranged your atoms, he restarted your dead heart, he made it so that it had never really been dead. As if it was all worth it. Because it was. One night, as he collapsed against you, spent, the both of you covered in a film of sweat, he had told you, “I’m grateful I got hit by a car. I’m glad the surgery didn’t work and that it broke me. I’m glad I needed the painting classes to stay alive. It was so that I could meet you. I would do it over and over again just to meet you once more.” 

It does not matter. The label on the rose, the label on the necklace. It does not matter as long as you get to live in a world where you can love him.

Hyunjin pulls away from the fence and drags you around for another lap around the rink. You skate with him in the quiet of the night, your hand in his. His other one disappears into the pocket of his coat and he fumbles around for a few seconds before pulling out a mandarin from his pocket. 

“Want some?” But he doesn’t wait until taking off his gloves and peeling the mandarin. You take the peels from him before they can fall on the ice and he turns around, offering you his other pocket for you to dispose of the peels. As your hand slides into the pocket, Hyunjin pushes a piece of the mandarin between your lips, and everything changes. 

First, you realize it is a real mandarin from Jeju—of course. Hyunjin wouldn’t settle for anything less. He’ll pass on other citrus, choosing to indulge in the absolute best only. The juice from the mandarin fills your mouth, coating your lips as you bite into it. It tastes like love.

It tastes like the ring in the pocket of Hyunjin’s coat.

You make eye contact with him, your hand still in the pocket, the peels from the mandarin surrounding the small piece of metal that your fingers brushed against. 

Hyunjin is smiling. A soft smile. A smile full of emotion. “Take it, angel love. It’s there for you.” 

Your hand is shaking but you manage to retrieve the ring and pull it out from his pocket. It sits in your palm. Gold, like the lights all around you. It has a slight curve where the orange stones are located. They shine brighter than the sun. This is a ring, you tell yourself. Just a ring. It feels light and yet it is heavy, heavy, heavy. 

Hyunjin takes the ring from you, holding it between his two fingers. “I loved you the moment I saw you,” he starts, his voice shaking just as much as your whole body is. His eyes are hopeful, though. He is handsome. “I saw you before you saw me, you know?” This was the first time you ever hear of that, but you listen, your gaze dancing between his eyes, his pretty lips, the gold and citrine ring he holds. “I was terrified of sitting with you. You were so beautiful… The way your hair fell on your shoulders, and how you placed all of your supplies. The colors of paint that you had with you. I loved you then. And I haven’t stopped loving you since.” 

Hyunjin takes a deep breath, his free hand reaching for your face. It is surprisingly warm. Like he is the sun, like he is warmth reincarnated. Like you will never feel the cold again once in your life, like you will not live another overcast day ever again. “You can think about it and you don’t have to say yes. But I bought this ring when I was in Australia. I’ve kept it ever since. It doesn’t mean anything. I chose it because I knew you’d like the colors on it. I will never not love you and I’d like to marry you someday. I want to give you all of my forevers.”

Love at first sight? What about it? 

Love is extensive. In the fabric of spacetime, love is everywhere at every moment, permeating each and every atom of everything. To some, this is a tragedy—how can they keep going knowing that even their worst moments were saturated with love, even invisible? There is comfort in darkness. There is comfort in thinking that they were alone, loveless, while they were prisoners of their own hearts, their own minds. 

But it is false. It’s false. 

Love at first sight is a man-made concept just as much as it is a beautiful disaster created by the energies of the universe. One might believe that a love that strikes at first sight is shallow, untrue. One might believe that love at first sight isn’t legitimate, that it can’t exist in the first place. 

Once upon a time, you were that person. And then you were proven wrong. Love at first sight is real and it turns out it is the kind of love that sticks to you. The kind of love that nothing can wash away, not distance, not sorrow, not the passage of time. Turns out it is the kind of love that only goes one way—it does not recede. It only grows deeper, stronger, and more beautiful. 

It is mandarin season. You are in love with Hyunjin and he is in love with you. And it is enough. 

“Yes,” you say, but it’s just a breath, and it escapes your mouth in a cloud of condensation. You realize you did not produce a sound at all. You breathe deeply, your lip quivering, your eyes anchored to Hyunjin’s. Your mouth tastes like mandarins, like love, when you speak. “Yes, yes, I want to marry you too. I love you.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes fill up with tears. He looks down at his feet almost as if he hadn’t expected this. “Are you sure?” he asks, staring at you once again. The tears in his eyes are tiny miracles or grand promises. “Are you really sure, my angel? You really want to be my wife?”

“Yes I’m sure, Hyunjin.” He tilts his head, his eyes stuck on your mouth. “I want you to be my husband.” You’re crying, and he is too. This is the purest kind of love. “I will never not love you.

“I will never not love you. My angel.” 

When Hyunjin kisses you, the earth doesn’t shake. The ground doesn’t split open into a rift, the stars do not fall from the sky. It’s just snowflakes, lazily twirling in the air as Hyunjin envelops your soul, as he kisses you with his wet, open mouth, humming and moaning into you. The peeled citrus is long forgotten, fallen on the ice of the rink where it will freeze. But you kiss Hyunjin’s mandarin mouth with urgency and he kisses yours with purpose. When Hyunjin kisses you, the world doesn’t end, but your heart is a volcano. Your heart is a forest fire, an ocean, an atomic bomb. Your heart is Hyunjin’s, and it is alive. 

When he breaks the kiss, Hyunjin presses his forehead against yours. He’s smiling uncontrollably, giggling sometimes, sometimes letting out a faint sob—it’s a mess, but you’re the same. He pulls you into his arms, holding you tight. You wish it weren’t so cold, that you were naked, that you felt him against your body, his soul dancing sins into yours. 

You never want to be without him. And, turns out, he never wants to be without you. 

Delicately, Hyunjin takes your hand in his to slide the ring on your ring finger. You both stand in the cold, staring at that sight. And what a sight it is. Once upon a time, you thought love wasn’t for you. But you had become it. You had become love itself. 

Nothing else needs to be said. 

Hyunjin seems to interpret your shaking as you being cold when really, you are simply overcome with emotion. Still, you let him take you towards the gate, then out of the rink. You help each other get rid of the skates and return them to the kind employee. Technicalities. It is cold, the wind growing harsher, but you don’t feel it, you just feel Hyunjin, his hand in yours, his eyes on you, his mouth on you. You wait for another car to come pick you up, and you make out on the back seat like horny teenagers. 

You cried when Hyunjin left his laundry in the dryer instead of folding it. You cried because that day, he finally allowed you to feel the weight of him in your life. Tangible, real. The small burden of folding laundry. The small burden of helping you write your two weeks' notice when you quit your job. The small burden of washing your forgotten dishes. The small burden of holding him and whispering comforting words into his ears when he, sometimes, wakes up in the middle of the night after a bad dream. He still gets those once in a while. Sometimes his brain short-circuits a little. But only a little. And you don’t love him any less. The burden of it, the beautiful, lovely weight of Hyunjin in your life. The colors of his soul. The sounds his lips make when he eats or when he kisses you. The love he draws on the bathroom mirror while you’re showering. Hyunjin’s weight on your body, Hyunjin’s cock, his voice, his eyes, his hands. Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. 

That night, you clean up the apartment together. Hyunjin washes the dishes while you gather everything and declutter the kitchen. He always offers to wash the dishes but that night, he says it’s because he doesn’t want you to take the ring off. Not now.

“I like the way it looks on you,” he says, his hands disappearing into the soapy water of the sink. 

You hug him from behind, raising yourself on your toes to kiss the back of his neck. He smells like himself and like outside air. “I bet it’ll look good with your cock, baby.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t answer right away, but you feel him take a deep breath. “I think so too, angel love.” For the rest of your life, you will be Hyunjin’s and he will be yours, but you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of him, of the way he exaggerates details when he tells a story, the way he peels mandarins or the way he cuts watermelon into perfect cubes. You’ll never get tired of him, his kisses, his steady breathing when he sleeps on his side of the bed. You’ll never get tired of him, of the butterflies you feel in your stomach when you unbuckle his belt, when you unzip his jeans. He smells good. 

Hyunjin’s cock is coming alive already when you slide your hand into his pants to cup him over his boxers, squeezing gently. And yet he carefully washes a serving plate as if it was just any other day—but the color of his cheeks shows his true feelings. And what you feel beneath your palm is even more telling. 

“You’ll be such a good husband,” you comment, feeling him up with a little more insistence. Hyunjin inhales sharply and twitches in your hand, eliciting a soft moan out of you, heat pooling between your legs. “I’ll be a good wife, I promise.”

“I know you will, my angel.” His voice is a little strangled, but he finally puts down the serving plate, the last of the dishes that needed to be washed. He twists his neck to look at you as he’s drying his hands with a towel. “That’s why I’m about to stretch your pretty pussy and fill you up.” 

You’ll never get tired of him. Of his cock hardening under your touch, of his gaze fucking you before he even touches you. Sometimes, he stares at you so intensely that it makes you wet. Sometimes you touch yourself to the thought of his eyes devouring you, analyzing you like a dance routine. 

Hyunjin turns around completely, kissing you hard. You leave his cock alone momentarily to wrap your arms around his neck, clinging onto him like you’re about to fall and he is your lifeline. 

He pulls your shirt off you. “I love you, babe.” When he kisses you this time, it’s slower, deeper, his tongue reaching dark corners of your mouth, exploring you not like a ruin but like a temple. 

The kissing leads you to your bedroom. You like making love to Hyunjin here, you like the lighting, the way it looks when he cums while you ride him, his eyes rolling at the back of his head, one hand holding onto the frame of the bed like you’re milking the soul out of him. 

That night, Hyunjin carefully removes the box he painted for you from the bed, removes the wrapping paper to free the bed. You sit on the mattress, pulling him in for a kiss, feeling his erection through his pants. Sometimes, you like to edge him for hours, rubbing yourself against him until he blows in his pants. At least he cleans up his mess after. 

But not tonight. Tonight, you rid him of his pants and underwear while he does the same to you. You like the feeling of his sweater against your bare skin but you still take it off him, eager to feel his toned body against yours. Hyunjin advances on the bed, making you retreat farther onto the mattress, kissing your lips, your face, your neck. Your hair. He kisses your breasts as soon as he frees them from your bra. 

“You know, the day that we met, the painting class,” he tells you, spreading your legs open. His hair is tickling your stomach as he leaves wet kisses there too. “I thought you were so pretty… I jerked off so many times that night…” 

Sex with Hyunjin is like a dancing routine, one that you know well. You know what he likes, you know what he loves. You know what will make him cry out, what will make him shy and blow huge loads. He knows how to make you moan, he knows how to make you chant his name like a prayer. He knows how to eat your cunt, he knows how to lick your slit to smear your essence over your pussy before driving you insane by putting his pretty mouth on your clit. Hyunjin knows how you like to be fucked. He knows you will cum hard if he chokes you or if he says into your ear that he loves you when he feels you clench. He knows you will want to taste his cum so he always gives you a taste, no matter how deep inside you he came. You like tasting him on your own fingers or his, but you prefer doing so on Hyunjin’s own tongue.

Tonight, Hyunjin moans when he takes in the sight of your cunt. “So creamy,” he says. “You should have told me you had a marriage kink, angel. I would have proposed a lot sooner.” 

What you want to say is you have a Hyunjin kink, but you lose your voice when his tongue finds your soaked folds, sending shivers throughout your whole body. Hyunjin looks good there between your legs. Sometimes he ties his hair behind his head before eating you out, especially when he intends on doing so for a long time. But you’re glad he didn’t tonight. You like the sight of your juices sticking to his black hair, drying there. 

“You smell so good…” Hyunjin’s breath tickles your sensitive pussy. “You taste so good too. Please cum on my mouth, angel. Then I’ll fuck you. Okay?”

What Hyunjin wants, Hyunjin gets—it’s not like you have much control over it anyway. If he decides he makes you cum with his mouth, he just does. No matter how hard you try to resist him, he’ll just make you cum.

That night, Hyunjin spreads your pussy lips open with one hand before making out with your cunt, slurping you just the same way he eats a mandarin from Jeju—not wasting a single drop of its sweet juice, worshiping every corner of you like he is a whole man of god and you’re god. Your pussy is his goddess, he often says. Your cunt is the altar he prays at, the canvas he paints, the floor on which he dances. 

Hyunjin cocks his head to the side, his forehead pressing against your thigh, forcing you to open your legs wider. He pushes his tongue into your tight hole, lapping at you at first, making you clench around it, making you scream with your mouth open. He is god. No, his mouth is the cross on which you beg to be nailed onto—let him tear you apart there, let him torture you, let him make you and unmake you. 

Hyunjin fucks you with his tongue, moving his head between your legs, smearing your juices all over his face and yourself and the sheets beneath you, staining him with your love. 

He isn’t exactly the man you met at the painting class. He is bolder, unafraid for the most part. He fucks you hard and a lot. He loves you hard and a lot. He paints but he dances too, teaching others how to move with purpose, how to let your body listen to the music because it knows. The heart knows. Your heart knows that Hyunjin is the only music you ever want to dance to. The music of his plush lips running along your pussy, making the pressure between your legs turn into a painful ache, a delightful torture. 

“I love you,” he whispers into your pussy but you feel it in your soul. “My angel.” 

You could cum from that, but instead Hyunjin pushes two fingers into your hole, stretching you, the squelching sound of that so lewd it makes you want to say a prayer. You want to keep watching, you want to see his face twist in pleasure when your taste overflows him but you can’t. Your head falls back on the mattress as Hyunjin closes his lips around your clit, giving it a few flicks of his tongue for good measure. A warning, a promise. You don’t need to see it, really—you’ve seen his slutty lips coated with your cream make heaven descend upon you more than once. You don’t need to see it but you’ll never get tired of it, of him, of the way he sucks and licks and plays with your clit. Of the way he loves you.

You’re close. You feel your wetness under you, Hyunjin’s fingers twirling inside of you, massaging your walls while he kisses and sucks your cunt. While his mouth fucks your clit. 

“Hyunjin Hyunjin Hyunjin Hyunjin—” You’re not just close, you’re about to cum. Hyunjin moans against you when you clench around his slender fingers, so he curls them to reach your sensitive spot, fucking you with his fingers and his mouth and his soul. 

Your whole body tenses up. You see stars when, finally, Hyunjin applies more pressure onto your g-spot while sucking hard on your clit. You come undone, you become a writhing mess on a cum-stained bed, and you cum, rubbing your pulsing cunt against Hyunjin’s pretty face. He waits until you are calmed down to retreat—while you recover from your high, Hyunjin cleans you up, drinking you like he hasn’t eaten in a month. 

When he leaves the warmth between your legs, you watch him lick you off his lips, watch him wipe his chin with the back of his hand. Hyunjin kneels on the bed, coming back up to kiss you, to share your taste with you. His cock grazes your thigh, his tip nudging your sensitive cunt, and you moan into his mouth. In response, he aligns himself with your slit and rubs his hard length onto you, coating himself with your cream.

“Please,” you beg as if he hadn’t just made you see stars with his mouth. But Hyunjin just rubs himself. 

He’s so hard and you clench around nothing. You reach for his cock between your legs, pressing your palm onto him to maximize the contact with his cock. 

Hyunjin grunts. “Fuck, you were right.” The sound of his voice, deep, thick, is enough to send another jolt of pleasure through you. The aftershock surprises you, but Hyunjin doesn’t stop rolling his hips to rub, rub, rub. “Your ring looks so good with my cock. Look, angel. You need to see. It’s so pretty.” 

You manage to rest yourself on your elbows to get a glimpse of it. Hyunjin’s cock, hard, leaking, his balls tight. Your hand on it, him using the slight bump of the ring to maximize his pleasure. “It is beautiful, baby,” you admit, still fucked out from your orgasm and haunted by Hyunjin’s tongue dancing inside you. You like the gold with the dark flush of his length. You’ll paint that someday soon. That and the colors you see when he makes you cum. Colors that only exist in Hyunjin’s mouth.

You’ll never get tired of him, of his body, toned and firm beneath your palms. His dancer’s body, his elegant limbs. The crescent-shaped scars on his upper thigh. The smell of his sweat, the taste of it, the taste of his cock as he fucks your mouth after he stretched your pussy. You’ll never get tired of his gentle voice when he calls you. You’ll never get tired of watching him dance, of watching him paint. Of watching him cum. 

Hyunjin leaves his position over you to lie down by your side, pressing your back flush against his chest. “I’ll fuck you so deep, angel love,” he promises into your ear. “As many times as you let me.” One of his hands wanders on your tits while the other lifts your leg. He doesn’t need help to enter you, he knows the way. He knows you by heart, like a song, like a dance. 

Hyunjin buries himself inside you with one thrust, the both of you crying out. Yes, yes, yes. This is where you belong. On his cock. Losing yourself, finding yourself, being made and unmade. This is where you want to die. This is where you started to live, not just be alive. His thick cock stretching you. His love filling you.

Hyunjin rolls his hips steadily, your cunt hugging him nicely. “So tight, baby.” You clench at that. “Fuck—wanna make me blow already, is that it?” 

Yes, no. You never want this to stop. You want him all inside of you, fucking his soul into you. “I love you,” is all you say. Nothing else needs to be said.

“I love you too, angel.” Hyunjin picks up a pace, pressing himself so hard against you that you are no longer on your side, not really—you're laying on your stomach, crying out every time Hyunjin slams into you and bottoms out. He is fucking you so deep you know he is bruising you. You hope he is painting your cunt in blues and purples before filling you with white. 

“Now, Hyun.” You can’t wait. You can’t stop moaning. He takes up all of the space inside you. The beautiful weight of his body on yours. The delightful stretch of his cock. The burden of it, the paradise of him. 

Hyunjin pulls out just to roll you on your back. He does like to look into your eyes when he cums. He likes to see it on your face, too, that you can feel his cum drip out of your hole. He likes to fuck you dumb, he likes to fuck you sloppy. Sometimes, he just likes fucking you deep and good and hard. 

You open your legs for him and he aligns his cock with your hole, staring into your eyes as he enters you again, meeting a lot less resistance than he did earlier. Hyunjin slams into you over and over, fucking his burgundy love into you. You clench as much as he’s twitching but none of you care to resist. Tonight is not like other nights. 

Tonight is better because there is a ring around your finger. Because Hyunjin thought you wouldn’t want to marry him—that you wouldn’t love him anymore—because he had made up the story with the pink rose and the label. Tonight is better because you fall in love with Hyunjin more and more every day. Someday, you will cease to exist because you will implode from the force with which you love and are loved. 

Tonight Hyunjin fucks you hard, kissing your lips, your neck, grunting and whimpering like a madman. He did say that you drive him crazy. He also used to say that you made him better. He made you better, he made you worse. He made you and unmade you.

You know he’s close when Hyunjin’s hand reaches between your leg and he traces circles around your clit. You feel your whole cunt open up like a flower, his cock hitting you hard, over and over. He is relentless. He is a force to be reckoned with. He is the man you will marry. 

Hyunjin pushes your hair away from your sweaty face. He is sweating too, but only looking more beautiful because of it. He kisses your forehead before delivering the sentence that makes you cum hard around his cock. “Someday, my angel, I’ll fuck a baby into you.” 

You cum forever, it seems, but you’ll never get tired of him. Your body convulses with the waves of pleasures that rip you into pieces—you cum so hard your vision blurs and you forget the world. It’s just you and him, Hyunjin. You’re floating, you’re falling. He cums hard, too, moaning prettily into your neck as he empties himself inside you, cock pulsing, his voice filling the room.

Hyunjin fucks you slowly, ultimately collapsing onto you one second after pulling out, a trail of his thick cum following his softening cock. He coats his fingers with himself before pulling his hand away from between your legs, and you lick him like ice cream, like a blessing from god. His taste is strong, addictive. 

Hyunjin pulls you against him. “My angel love.” His voice is sleepy. You’re tired too, but you hope you stay awake a few moments longer—you truly love the feeling of being so full with Hyunjin’s cum that it drips out of you.”

“Hyunjin,” you whisper, eyelids closing by themselves. “My Hyunjin.”

His warm mouth finds yours. He smells like sweat and sex and love. “I’ll never not love you, okay? He presses his hands against your back, like an embrace.

“I’ll never not love you.” Later that night, Hyunjin wakes you up with neck kisses and caresses on your ass. Later that night, after he fucked you for a second time, Hyunjin paints a bright blue sky over a turquoise sea and you watch him blend the colors into perfection. The canvas smells like sunlight. Hyunjin smells like the purest kind of love. 

You are in love with Hyunjin and he is in love with you. It is enough, but it won’t stop him from promising you the whole world or from peeling a mandarin for you, or from washing your dishes. You will always feel the delightful weight of him in your life when you fold his laundry or when you hear him read a bedtime story to the child he promised you on the night he proposed. It is enough. It is enough. It is enough. 

The End ♡

a/n: Hey everyone <3 If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas! If you don't, I hope you are having a good day where you are taking care of yourself and feeling loved. I wanted to say a big thank you to people who have taken the time to read this story & especially to those who have shared your love for it. As you know, this story means a lot to me, and I'm very grateful I was able to share this with you. This is the epilogue... But I do think I will be revisiting this fic once in a while, with one-shots and drabbles. So this isn't goodbye!

I hope the upcoming year is filled with peace & kindness, for all of you. I hope you see beauty in everything, I hope you find comfort in everything, too. Thank you. ♡

taglist ♡ @cb97percent @changbinluvr @neosracha @hwan-g @streetlight-s @j-0ne25 @tanyas97 @hyun-bun @americanokisses @aimeexx @upallnight-s @hyunskizz @lotus-dly @thestarseeker @skzho @simpsarzie @taeriffic @kittykatprincess15

you've got to be kidding me 😮

UNDERTONES

LEGEND 📓Release status/Rating · 🖤Pairing · 🪐Universe · 🏷️Genre/Trope · 🚨 Warnings

📜13.3K words | Approx. 1hr. read 📓One-shot, Explicit 🖤Hyunjin x (afab) Reader 🪐Perfume maker Hyunjin & Chef Reader 🏷️Romance, Smut, Hurt/Comfort(ish), Mutual Pining 🚨Reader discretion advised: Heavy mutual fantasizing, a lot of references to food and eating as sexual connotations, auditory voyeurism, public teasing, foot massage, masturbation, oral sex, unprotected sex, creampie. 📻Accompanying soundtrack 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

SYNOPSIS He dedicated his life to scents. You dedicated yours to taste. Your paths were bound to cross at some point. A story of scents dissolving on tastebuds.

For any other person, there were two types of smells: pleasant and unpleasant. You would either fill your lungs with it or block your nostrils from sensing that monstrosity. 

For Hyunjin, it was not as simple as that.

Scents were no joking matter—they couldn’t simply be dubbed as ‘nice’. Nice how? What were the notes? You had your florals, your orientals, your woody, and fresh fragrances. Bad how? You had your odors, your stenches, your stinks. Scents were life changing, brain rewiring, molecule rearranging; what do you mean simply nice?

That’s why he dedicated all his life to the one thing that fascinated the daylights out of him. Perfume making.

Hyunjin’s passion for what he did was so contagious that it didn’t take very long for him to make a name for himself. He was renowned to the extent that he was working with household luxury cosmetics brands as a consultant. ‘The Alchemist of Emotions’ they would call him, and rightfully so. Yet, the fancy titles, the big checks, and his extremely good looks still didn’t prevent him from being perceived as ‘a little odd’ to the outsiders. He was never seen with anyone—no friends, no partners, nobody. Always alone. And rightfully so.

Scents were influential for Hyunjin to the extent that he made life decisions based on it. He believed everything and everyone had a distinct scent. Emotions had scents, too. Nostalgia smelled bittersweet like a piece of dark chocolate. Lust smelled like amber. Powdery. Cozy. Sensual. Envy smelled sour; almost rotten. Rage smelled like the most pungent spices were having a fight over dominance. It would make even the ones with the strongest stomachs nauseous. 

He had his heart broken once. Terribly. In his own bed. When he noticed it was his best friend panting over his moaning girlfriend, his entire room was invaded with the stench of a corpse rapidly decomposing. He wanted to puke his lungs out, but instead, he picked up the pieces of his heart and fucked off to reassemble them somewhere that didn’t have any traces of her. Or him. He learned to find solace in solitude because it meant he was immune to getting his heart broken again.

God, he loved her. He loved her so much.

That was also the reason he knew that loneliness smelled like ice. A lot of people believed ice didn’t have a scent but it wasn’t true. It smelled like frostbite. It smelled painful. It smelled like having left with nothing to lose.

Hyunjin was running a little lab called The Sixth Scents where he made custom perfumes, essential oils, and scented candles but he worked selectively—just because you walked into his lab with a wad of cash, it didn’t mean he was going to take your request. People knew that, but many of them still went there just to see him, to admire him like a piece of art, and obsess over his beauty. He got love confessions and crass offers for a good time almost on the daily. For any other person, that would be equal to an unlimited orgasm supply, but for him? Just a daily chore to cross off his to-do list.

Say no x15

The only woman that currently had a place in his life was his neighbor Mrs. Keane, an old, elegant, but incredibly nosy lady who lived on the ground floor and spent most of her day by her window peoplewatching. She had no children of her own, so Hyunjin was like the son she never had. He had a soft spot for her, too—every now and then, when he was coming home from work, Hyunjin would bring her flowers, and they would drink tea together and chat. About life, about love, about loss.

“It pains me every day that I do not have a child to marry you to, my prince boy.”

“Trust me, Mrs. Keane, it’s for the best.”

“Still,” she wiggled in her seat and wore a mischievous smile on her Scarlet Sunrise lips, “You know that sweet girl at the boutique around the corner?”

“We have talked about this, haven't we milady?” Hyunjin grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I’m not interested.”

He wasn’t. He wasn’t interested in anything remotely related to love. To be hurt. To die of blood loss.

He sketched a lot in his free time. They were just random doodles as a form of therapy, to empty his ever-full mind. He didn't do it intentionally—at least he thought he didn't, but they always ended up being ambiguous images. When you looked at it, you always saw more than one thing. Always. 

It would morph into something singularly concrete one day maybe, who knew. Until then, blame Gestalt.

The only thing that made him forget how lonely he was was the sounds he had been hearing lately from his upstairs neighbor. Hyunjin didn't know anybody else in the building besides Mrs. Keane, nor did he want to know, but this person served him like a ghost company. It was a woman. Alone. Her moans sounded a lot like a bedroom jam to him. A very sexy song to sleep to written over chill beats. Every time she signaled she was about to descend into ecstasy, Hyunjin stripped, laid down on his bed, and pleasured himself to the rhythm of her moans. He would sometimes edge himself for an entire hour with her, and those were the best orgasms he had. He didn’t know who she was, and neither did he want to know. He wasn’t interested in her personally because every time Hyunjin closed his eyes there was already someone there. A woman. He wasn’t able to discern her face, though.

His understanding of a soulmate was much different than the rest of the world—he was sure of it. For him, it was someone to kiss to sleep with his nose buried in the crook of her neck.  Someone to make playlists to fuck to. Someone to make his most twisted fantasies come true with plenty of aftercare and deep talks into the night. Then fuck again for another hour or so due to not being able to control the urge to have each other. Someone to make him moan as loudly as his upstairs neighbor for once. Someone to pass out on his bed with and miss in his dreams. He would make her breakfast in bed the next morning. Then he would make her cum. Maybe while having breakfast. And spend the rest of the day talking about the banalities of life, or eating ice cream off each other’s lips and fuck again. Someone to create scents after, but he would know nothing could compare to hers.

Who knew, maybe that faceless woman living behind his eyelids was actually his soulmate calling out to him somewhere through inaudible whispers.

“If you walk out that door, you’re dead to us!”

Fine. If breaking off an engagement two weeks before the wedding meant being estranged from your family for the rest of your life, so be it. To an outsider, you were a monster that didn’t even think twice before abandoning the people who conceived you. You were sick and tired of repeating yourself over and over again that this marriage was doomed to fail and that you were having second, third, and fourth thoughts about this decision. But… But how were they going to explain to people why the wedding was off? What about all those deposits paid to the vendors that they were never going to be able to collect? Didn’t you love him? If you didn’t love him, why did you say yes to him in the first place and forced your parents to meet his?!

Fine. If your happiness was less important than the technicalities, so be it.

Yeah, sure you loved him. You loved him very much at first. Until the things you fought over began to lose all sense of logic. Things like why you invited your friends for a sleepover when he was out of town. Of course he trusted you; he just didn’t trust any of your male friends. You were the one making a big deal out of little things, honestly. So what if he said he would never take you to Paris because you had been there with an ex once? That was a very normal reaction. You were the one exaggerating, so shush.

Yeah, you loved him, but once you noticed how little respect he had for you, you fell out of love. You’d think choosing inner peace over assisting your own descent into insanity was hardly a scandalous reason to embarrass your family, but what did you know? 

You had always been very abnormal about the concept of taste. It annoyed the crap out of you when people made it very obvious that they were eating to survive. Taste was not a sense, it was an experience—an experience human beings were lucky enough to enjoy every day, but most people treated food like fuel. What a goddamn blasphemy. That was the reason why you worked towards being a chef your entire life. To design gustatory experiences for people.

Fine. If your parents threatened you with cutting you off completely and not funding your dreams of owning your own restaurant anymore, so be it.

It was a Tuesday when you completed your paperwork for a loan and fucked right off to reestablish your life someplace else. Someplace away from this hell. Who were you going to bet on if you weren’t going to bet on yourself? If you died, you could at least say you died trying.

It was a Saturday when you left that town with your luggage and your lifelong friend Jia sitting in the passenger seat, a free spirit with nothing to lose and the only person who had faith in you. At first, you thought she was just tagging along for an adventure, but when you confronted her about it right before taking off that morning, she smiled and held your hand on the gear.

“That thing about you not having a family anymore?” she squeezed your hand firmly, “It’s not true.”

The Sixth Scents was exactly 550 steps away from Hyunjin’s apartment building. One morning while he was going to work, he saw something right in the middle of point A and point B—a charming little eatery that wasn’t there before. The cozy smell that emanated from the place enticed him like a hand made of smoke making a come-hither gesture. He walked towards the door that had Saudade written on it with fancy cursive letters. Someone carrying a crate full of coffee beans greeted him.

“Welcome!” the young woman chirped, “I apologize, sir, but we’re not open yet.” 

Too happy, Hyunjin thought to himself. Why so happy? There is literally nothing in this world worth being this happy over.

“Oh,” he uttered in disappointment and pointed at the crate, “Well, you seem to have coffee. I’m willing to wait for it if it’s not too much trouble.”

“What I meant was our official opening is tomorrow,” the woman with the name tag that said ‘Jia’ eyed him from head to toe with a knowing smile, “but if you’re willing to wait, then you have the honor of being our first customer. Would you like a scone with that, too?”

“I thought you said you weren’t open,” Hyunjin creased his brows in confusion.

“We’re not. The staff is having breakfast right now,” she explained further pointing at the open kitchen area behind her, “A little tasting party among ourselves.”

“Alright then. Black coffee and a scone to go, please.”

“Of course! What kind would you like?”

What kind? How many kinds of scones were there anyway? It was pastry, no? Flour, water, salt, whatevs.

“Uh– What kinds do you have?”

“We have seventeen flavors, sir. Would you like a menu?”

Seven-fucking-teen? What the hell was this, an ice cream stand?

“Can I get a recommendation instead?”

“You want an apple scone,” Jia declared firmly, “I'll brew your coffee and be right back. Please make yourself comfortable.”

Hyunjin sat down at a little table right next to the door and began to examine every single corner of the place. Whoever was responsible for the interior design did a fantastic job with it. It was sort of fancy-looking, but still intimate with warm shades of colors splashed all over the place. He made a mental note of having a meal here one day. After about five minutes, Jia came back with his order in a little doggy bag.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin got up to his feet and turned towards the door, “Hope the preparations go smoothly for your opening.”

“Aren't you going to have a taste?” Jia asked him with expectant eyes. He was surprised at the request, but did as he was asked nevertheless.

Good fucking god, what a rich aroma this cup contained. It was apparent by the scent alone. Toffee notes and dark chocolate were hugging the coffee beans. Then the scone—it was still warm. When he took his first bite from it, he broke the dough and reached the filling, which was even warmer on his tongue. He felt the sweet taste of apples and the splash of cinnamon invading all his tastebuds. When he chewed his bite, it was different. When he swallowed, it was different. When he took a sip from his coffee, it morphed into something else entirely.

What kind of witchcraft is this?

“Amazing, right?” Jia smirked at him.

Hyunjin was still in the middle of processing this orgasmic taste, so he almost didn’t hear her. When he gathered his wits again, he managed to ask:

“If you don’t mind my curiosity, which bakery are you working with?”

“We make these in-house. I mean, our chef does.”

Hyunjin glanced at the kitchen area to find a person in a chef’s uniform, but couldn’t see one.

“Please send them my compliments. Apparently, I’ve never experienced breakfast before this.”

Jia couldn’t believe what she just heard for a second. It was like you briefly walked outside and shapeshifted into this incredibly ethereal human being just to troll her because these were your words to a T.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she crossed her arms over her chest, naturally leaving Hyunjin in a state of deeper confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“Why don’t you come by for our opening tomorrow?” she cut to the chase with bells ringing in her head, “I promise you will not regret it.”

Hyunjin didn’t know why, but he had a feeling he was indeed not going to regret it. Since he had absolutely nowhere to be anyway, he accepted the impromptu invitation with a smile.

“I’d appreciate it very much if I can sit somewhere that overlooks the kitchen area.”

Jia had been building hype on social media about Saudade’s opening for quite some time with cryptic posts, Tumblr text-post memes, and well-lit photography. It was a weird mosaic to witness, but Jia swore she knew what she was doing. Who was your social media-illiterate ass to judge when the queen of interactions existed for fuck’s sake?

That was what you said to her face, but deep down you were still having doubts over the biggest decision of your life. It felt like your non-wedding day all over again.

When you started off with this thing, it seemed like everything was going to be smooth sailing, but the more obstacles you were hit with, the more you were on the brink of giving up. Finding a decent location had been a pain in the ass. You almost got your first assault charge trying to obtain an alcohol license. The renovation took longer than you estimated. You had to acquire an insufferable personality to bargain with the vendors. Thankfully, Jia was in charge of staffing and she did a fantastic job hiring decent people. She may or may not have insinuated she would haunt them for the rest of their lives if they let you down in any capacity, but hey, technicalities. 

After what seemed like the longest battle of your life, when you witnessed a full house on the fucking opening night, your jaw dropped all the way to the floor. Jia was beyond content with your reaction.

“I know right? I’m amazing”

“Remind me to never ever doubt your words again.”

She looked incredibly offended at your words, “BITCH, you said—”

“Dinner service! Everybody to their stations.”

Gentle melodies. Buzzing atmosphere. Chatter of people. Sounds of laughter rising and falling from different tables. Clinks of silverware against plates. Clinks of glasses against each other. Steam contained in the kitchen area. Fire rising. Heavy iron. Thuds of metal. A communion of delicious smells all over the place but never invading each other’s privacy.

It had only been half an hour or so—it might have been premature to call it that, but you still couldn’t help the giddiness filling your chest. This was what success looked like. It was written all over your face, and it made Jia even happier to see your efforts come to fruition. She was going to be the happiest when she could finally tell you that your soulmate indeed existed in this world and he was actually there tonight.

Around 8.30 PM, the guest of honor finally made his way into the restaurant, and the sight removed her expectant smile from her face in an instant. There was a woman standing next to him.

Fucking rookie mistake not to get that information about the possibility of a girlfriend, right? Nevertheless, he had to meet you, and if that meant Jia had to be a homewrecker, so be it. She literally wouldn’t think twice about the consequences when the subject was the happiness that seemed to love eluding you since forever.

“Welcome to Saudade,” she greeted him with a bright smile and shot death glares at the woman standing next to him, “I sincerely hope there is no one else in your party because I forgot to mention that your table is reserved for one, sir.”

“No, it’s just me.”

The woman looked at her with a petrified expression and spoke in such a tiny voice that it was barely audible in the murmur of the restaurant, “Santiago, party of two?”

“Oh,” Jia promptly changed her entire personality and grabbed a passing waitstaff by the arm, “Mr. Kim will be escorting you to your table, ma’am,” then she proceeded to guide Hyunjin to the table she strategically reserved for him, “Right this way please.”

It was a table for one that saw the kitchen area quite clearly just like he asked. Hyunjin sat down with a book in his hand as Jia filled his glass with water.

“Would you like to see a menu, or would you like to opt for the chef’s exclusive selection for tonight?”

“The latter, please,” he answered without hesitation, “Can I get an Aperol Spritz beforehand?”

While he was waiting for his drink, Hyunjin glanced at the kitchen to spot the person responsible for the apple cinnamon rhapsody, and finally saw you. Clad in your black jacket, you looked like a martial artist commanding a brigade with your fast and precise movements and the way you skillfully used different kinds of knives. Watching you cook was no different than watching a magic show. The ingredients on chopping boards disappeared into little pieces and reemerged again on plates like miniature paintings. When the waitress brought his drink, Hyunjin thanked her still unable to take his eyes off of you.

It was another story when his food arrived, though. He took his sweet time savoring every single bite while reading the book he brought with him, completely cutting off contact with the outside world. He was so engrossed in his own little bubble that it even caught your attention from the kitchen.

Who the fuck reads a book during dinner? It’s gonna get cold!

Well, some people watched stuff to indicate that they were busy, no? Hyunjin made a habit of bringing books everywhere he went, especially restaurants serving alcohol, because it made it easier to be rude to people.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“No, thank you.”

This exchange kept happening no less than four times, and Hyunjin didn’t even turn to face the different owners of the voices. He was too busy either watching you make edible art and being mesmerized out of his mind, or ingesting it. He wasn’t interested in anything else. He hadn’t been for the longest time.

But he had a raising suspicion that he had to make an exception for you very very soon.

“How did you enjoy your experience today, sir?”

“It was magnificent,” Hyunjin had a very pleased smile on his face, “Please extend my compliments to the chef. I hope they’re always this passionate about their art.”

When he got up to leave, Jia was simply convinced that she was looking at a match made in heaven. She opened the little chest she brought the check in and examined the credit card slip laying under a very generous tip.

While Hyunjin was lounging on his little balcony that evening with a glass of scotch in his hand, he contemplated the crossroads of scent and taste. How the scent dissolving on the tongue could actually give you a clue about what something tasted like. How the two senses were actually inseparable from one another. He recalled the memories of the late nights at his lab, then compared it to you creating magic with your hands with a stern face. How beautiful you were. How passionate you were. How it all showed on the plates you created.

Just fascinating. 

“Look who it is,” Jia wore a shit-eating grin upon seeing the person walking in, “Your betrothed regular.”

“Could you please stop calling him that?”

Hyunjin began coming to the restaurant every day after the opening night. In the mornings, he usually grabbed his coffee-scone combo to go, and sometimes stopped by for lunch, but he was there every dinner service without exception. He had his own designated table and an established service routine by then: an aperitif drink–usually an Aperol Spritz, alternating appetizers, the special of the day as his main course paired with a wine recommendation and a green salad, and dessert to complement his meal. After placing his orders, he would watch you intently throughout the whole thing and then bask in the little composition you prepared for him that particular evening. He always sent compliments to you and left Jia tips way more than socially acceptable standards. Not to be capitalistic or anything, but there was no harm in his future brother-in-law being loaded or whatever, right?

Well, it would have been obvious from the tips alone, but the matter of the fact was Jia took it upon herself to go full Sherlock on one Hwang Hyunjin as indicated on the credit card slip. She broke into a hysterical laughing fit when she realized what he did for a living as if the guy was written as a self-indulgent commission for you. 

“You really need to put the moves on the guy.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never seen something this beautiful in my entire life, and I can’t cockblock for you forever.”

Well, you knew. Jia might have been under the impression you weren’t already crushing pretty hard on the guy, but every time this demigod walked into the restaurant, your heart went rabid, making you live on the edge with almost-heart attacks on the daily. Part of your daily routine included dodging what could have been pretty severe work accidents because you couldn’t stop staring at him. It wasn't just about his ridiculously good looks, though, no. You couldn’t help the urge to go on a deep dive about him yourself after Jia’s incessant Hyunjin seminars, and his work just blew you away. There was something very very special about this man; you just didn't know what that was exactly because your culinary skills invaded the space where your courage gland should have been to talk to him.

You frequently watched him dine, and one thing you observed was that his lips and how he ate were very not normal. It almost looked like he was making out with the food. He didn’t drink, he stole kisses from the liquid. You had complete tunnel vision on how his Adam’s apple moved every time he gulped, and watched the way the drinks rushed down his esophagus and soothed him inside.

You thought you were making it up at first, but then one day you noticed you weren’t the only one staring.

It was a lot of stolen glances between you two. No one was saying or doing anything, but it was painfully obvious how much you both were incredibly fascinated with each other for one reason or another. Little did you know you were awakening a lot of things inside Hyunjin—a lot of things he thought he would never be capable of feeling again, but there he was, extremely turned on merely by the amount of passion you practiced your craft with, and daydreaming about the fifteen different ways he could make you cum.

He might not have been aware of it, but so did you.

“Could you extend my compliments to the chef, please?” Hyunjin made his usual request after he paid the check, “The dessert was especially exceptional tonight.”

Of course it was. You sent crème brûlée to him that night without even asking him what he would like for dessert, and that was for self-indulgent purposes he was never going to know about. You wanted to watch him break the top hard layer like he was stripping you. You wanted to watch him dip his spoon into the soft cream like he was sliding into you again after cumming inside you. You wanted to watch him lick the cream off his lips like he was actually tasting you. Being turned on to the way he experienced his food, something prepared by you, was your dirty little secret you were going to take to your grave.

God, his lips. Those perfectly shaped, full lips of his made for kissing for a lifetime…

“Actually, why don’t you extend it yourself this time?”

Courtesy of Jia’s mind games, Hyunjin’s usual table was within your earshot. She didn’t need to extend the aforementioned compliments to you because you actually heard them directly from him every single night. Yet, when you heard her suggestion, your heart almost jumped out of your chest.

Hyunjin stole a glance from your way and massively hesitated.

“She– She seems very busy. I wouldn’t want to intr—”

“Chef!”

Needless to say, your knees almost gave out. You tried to be as casual about it as you could be.

“Yes?”

Your jacket harbored all kinds of stains on them, and this was in no way the proper way to talk to this real-life prince. If you knew, you would have prepared five spare jackets to slide into, ready to be in his presence at a moment's notice.

Little did you know, he wanted you out of them, not change into something else that would hide you from him again. You were beautiful. You were so beautiful even with your creased brows when you were laser-focused. You were the sexiest when you conducted your orchestra with precise orders. Why change into something else when he had the perfect reason to see you as you were? Unabashedly you.

Hyunjin had seen you time and time again no matter from how afar, but he was utterly stunned when you approached his table. He felt his tongue getting tied and not in the way he would like to lock it on your clit until you were spent under him.

“I uh– I just– I just wanted to extend my compliments for the food.”

You were also internally yelling, but both of you were being so nonchalant about it as if this wasn’t the very first interaction with ‘the one’, as Jia called it. She was on the brink of ripping her hair out standing between you two, watching this exchange like it was the Wimbledon finals.

“Thank you. I appreciate it very much.”

Your little smile made Hyunjin implode. He witnessed these sentences fall from your lips in such slow motion that it felt like an hour-long lecture to him. He was fixated completely on the way your lips moved. How soft they looked. How moist they were. How they reminded him of velvet. How they would feel between his. How your tongue would dance inside his mouth. On his body. On his cock.

Good god, I’m about to fucking lose it because of you.

All he did was nod in an attempt to get a grip of himself and leave. Jia watched him walk out and then looked at you still pinned to your place, gawking at the nonexistent outline of Hyunjin.

“In case it wasn’t clear, I hereby declare once and for all that I ship this,” she pointed at the door and then at you, “Hard.”

Hyunjin didn’t go home that night. He found himself walking to his lab instead. He lit a scentless candle so that it absorbed whatever remains of smells were lingering in the room so that he could have a clean slate. You evoked so many things in him that he had to translate this into his own language, otherwise he was going to combust. What he ended up creating carried powdery top notes with a hint of narcotic florals as the heart. Jasmines. Could be because of the little jasmine shrub in front of the restaurant, but they reminded him of you a lot. Then the base. As sensuous as you. Faintest gourmand notes. Vanilla. The milky texture of almond butter.

This was you. You in olfactory form. Made his heart swell three times its size, filled him with something dangerously close to hope, and aroused him beyond control.

Hyunjin would like to give you this one day. He would love to give you his own essence instead to be quite frank. Cover your lips with his saliva. Cover your body with his sweat. Cover your cunt with his cum. Fuck you to sleep then fuck you awake in the middle of the night. Whisper little love confessions in your ear when you cum. Be yours. Be yours for however long you would have him.

He also wished he had an ounce of the courage required for any of that.

Then the ritual began.

Every time Hyunjin came over, you were sending him a little something on the house. He was pleasantly surprised at first, but then it became your silent greeting. You would send him something, he would look at the kitchen, smile, and nod. Every time you nodded back, he felt like you were kissing him back for his thank yous.

Hyunjin savored every single thing. If it was a little dessert, he took an entire hour to finish it. If it was a cold drink, he saved it for so long that his glass sweated to make wet rings on the table. You didn’t understand why he was doing that.

It was days and days and days until you finally gathered the courage to walk to his table one afternoon.

“Don’t wait to finish it this time, okay?”

He was so used to being absorbed in his daydreams about you that he thought he was dreaming it at first, but you were actually there. Standing right next to his table. Talking to him.

“I uh—”

“Some things are meant to be consumed quickly for the best results. You shouldn’t leave your noodles in the soup, for example.”

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair with a smile that challenged you.

“Maybe I like them soggy.”

“But that’s not the proper way to experience your food,” you pointed at the tiny straw basket you put in front of him, “Please have one.” 

It contained two mini croissants with chocolate filling. When Hyunjin took a bite from the warm pastry, the mille-feuille produced a very loud crunching sound, and some of the chocolate smeared on his lips. It took a massive amount of self-control not to jump on his mouth as if he needed another reason to make his lips more enticing. You cleared your throat and leaned into him with a smile.

“That crunch will not be there if you wait for an entire hour.”

As you were about to leave, Hyunjin held onto your wrist at the last second.

“Wait!”

The first time he touched you. The first time you felt his skin on yours. Thank goodness you were wearing a long-sleeve jacket, otherwise, it would have been mortifying if he noticed the goosebumps breaking all over your body.

Hyunjin put the matte black box laying on the chair next to him on the table.

“As a thank you.”

“Thank you?” you tilted your head, “For what?”

“These,” he looked at the little basket in front of him currently holding a single croissant, “And the steamed vegetables, and the mini quiches, and the drinks, and so much more.”

When you opened the box, you saw that in contained four items: something that looked like a two-piece stand, matches, a box of tealight candles, and a little vial filled with clear liquid.

“Let me guess,” you examined the tiny bottle, “Vanilla extract?”

“It’s actually an essence I made for you,” Hyunjin responded averting his eyes from you.

What did he mean he made for you? He made you this? Who the fuck randomly made an essence and brought it like they baked cookies? When you opened the vial and smelled the dense liquid inside, it alerted every single one of the neurons in your body.

“Oh wow!” you exclaimed, “Am I supposed to wear this?”

“It’s an atmospheric fragrance. You’re supposed to burn it,” Hyunjin pointed at the little stand in the box, “Would you like me to show you how?”

“Please.”

There was a piece of curved glass that looked like a miniature bowl to be placed on the metal ring at the top of the stand. On the bottom, there was a circular indentation for the tealight candle, and it was directly under the glass bowl.

“Just a couple of drops should suffice. It’s very strong.”

Hyunjin assembled the little burner, dripped three drops of the liquid into the bowl, and lit the tealight candle, all very ceremoniously. You watched it all with mouth agape like he was showing you a magic trick. If only you knew if you actually said that out loud, it would make Hyunjin’s head explode.

“I love this!” you brightly smiled, “Thank you very much for this gesture.”

He nodded with a smile as warm as yours. Suddenly, your eyes darted to the green salad he always had with his food. You took out an order pad and a pen, and wrote down a tip for him.

“Next time you make a green salad, chop half a green apple into it,” you ripped the paper and gave it to him, “Thank me later.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin carefully folded the paper in half.  It made you chuckle.

“You did hear me say ‘later’, right?”

“Who knows when that will be? You’re always behind the scenes.” 

His smile grew wider and you felt your cheeks getting warmer. You hated the way he made you feel like a teenager.

“Enjoy.”

As you were retreating with small steps with the box in your hand, you heard a voice behind you again.

“Hyunjin.”

“Excuse me?”

“My name... It's– It’s Hyunjin.”

Well, you already knew that, but you never officially introduced yourselves to each other. 

“Very nice to finally put a name to the face,” you approached him to shake his hand, “Y/N.”

Hyunjin. What a pleasing name, though. You didn't even know what it meant, but you just knew he was aptly named. He was born to demand the attention of the world and be abnormally ethereal and sweep you off your feet. He wasn't born for you per se, but there was no doubt he was something extraordinary. Absolutely spellbinding. 

As you returned to the kitchen, Hyunjin was thinking about your actual notes, his eyes never off you. He wondered what you smelled like when you were aroused. When you came. What he wouldn’t give to make his very own essence from your cum and burn it in his room so that it always smelled like your base notes at any given minute of the day. Did you taste like caramel apples, as well? Did your taste also change when he savored it? When he swallowed?

When he reached his doorstep that night, Hyunjin was so caught up in these thoughts that he couldn’t really discern whether he was imagining things or if he was actually able to smell you somehow. His nostrils were invaded by strong notes coming from somewhere upstairs. He walked up a floor like he was on autopilot and knocked on the door he was drawn to. When the door opened and the powdery scent blasted on his face, a flat-out shock was spelled on Hyunjin’s face.

“Thank… you.”

“Hyunjin?”

The owner of the voice from upstairs. The sound that kept him company during his lonely nights. All this time.

It was you?

“I can’t believe this,” you looked at him with widened eyes, “What are you doing here?”

“I live downstairs actually.”

“Is it the pizza?” a man appeared right behind you, “Oh, sorry. I’ll call them, it’s been like an hour.”

Oh. Of course. Of course there was someone, wasn’t there? Someone that was currently basking in the scent that he made for you.

“I uh– I was… The scent… I could–”

“Oh damn, you could smell that?” you looked inside, “You were right I guess, it is strong, but I really love it.”

You smiled. He melted. 

“I– I should go. Sorry to interrupt your evening.”

Interrupt your evening? But he didn’t. He couldn’t. You wanted to invite him in, but would it be too presumptuous to assume that he would like to join you? Well, he was at the restaurant every day, right? You took a deep breath and jumped the gun.

“Would you li–?”

“I should go,” Hyunjin forced a smile, “Good night.”

As he disappeared down the stairs, you slowly closed the door and leaned against it. You didn’t know why there was this uneasy feeling in your chest.

Were disappointment and heartbreak different things, or just the same thing in different colors? Because they certainly smelled very similar. Like blackberries and raspberries. They were both berries at the end of the day, no?

Maybe that was why Mrs. Keane chose to brew raspberry tea for Hyunjin that day. She was the mother Hyunjin didn’t have after all.

He had stopped going to the restaurant because he was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to control himself around you anymore. He was barely able to hold it together as it was. Seeing you every day, studying you playing with different aromas had been a part of his daily routine, but insisting on keeping that would be inappropriate. Not when you had someone. Even if it killed a little part of him, it was okay. He was just having a little hard time accepting he managed to get his heart broken before anything ever happened.

“You know you’re like my son, right prince boy?”

Hyunjin woke up from his deep thoughts with Mrs. Keane’s soft voice.

“Of course I do.”

“I met a very nice young lady at the grocery store today,” she put her porcelain cup on her coffee table, “I’m thinking…”

“Mrs. Keane…”

“Give me one valid reason this time,” she protested, “You’re such a fine young man and—”

“I can’t.”

She had been pestering Hyunjin with this ‘I need to see you with a bride before I die’ thing for god knows how long since he was the closest thing she had for a son. Yet she had never been this content with the way her prince boy rejected her.

“Say, every time I bring an offer to you, you say you’re not interested. This time you said you can’t,” Mrs. Keane squinted her eyes with a knowing smile, “Why is that?”

Hyunjin played with his little spoon on the saucer, pouting like a little kid, “It’s nothing.”

“Hyunjin…”

Fine. She wanted to hear the tea? Here it was. There was this girl that ran a cute little restaurant down the street. She was great at what she did. He fell head over heels in love with her simply by watching her cook and he couldn’t stop thinking about her and he was utterly possessed by her every minute of every day so much so that he didn’t spend a single night not dreaming about her and he was cursing at his damn luck that it was impossible to have her. Christ!

“That’s the girl on the top floor, yes?”

Hyunjin was appalled at what he was hearing, “You– You know her?”

“Of course I do, my boy. I know everyone in this building,” she nudged him, seemingly very much unaffected by how agitated Hyunjin was, “You like her, don’t you? Don’t even try to deny it this time.”

He flashed a bashful smile like a pure schoolboy talking about the girl he liked from the art class, but Mrs. Keane’s shrieky cheer scared the crap out of him.

“Finally! I was running out of excuses to bring her up. Because you and her—”

She couldn’t continue any further because for some reason he looked way too sorrowful for someone finally opening his heart to love again. She held his chin gently.

“Why the shadows on your beautiful face my prince boy?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you again, Mrs. Keane,” Hyunjin forced a smile, “but I think she’s taken.”

“Taken?” she yelled dramatically, “Since when?!”

“I saw a man at her apartment some time ago.”

“What did he look like?”

Why the fuck would Hyunjin focus on that? The one thing that didn’t completely obliterate his soul was that thanks to everything good and pure he didn’t hear you moan that night. Now that would be unbearable to witness.

“I don’t know. Medium height, brown eyes…”

“Was he particularly muscular?”

With all due respect, jesus fucking christ Mrs. Keane. So what if he was? Why point that out to him?

“I’d say so.”

Mrs. Keane was a soft-spoken woman who happened to be very graceful, so it came as a shock to Hyunjin when she actually smacked him on the head for the first time ever.

“What was that for?!”

“You’re such a bright man, but I can’t stand you being this stupid sometimes,” she tutted in utter disapproval, “That’s her cousin looking to move to this city, my dense little prince.”

Hyunjin was surprised but visibly elated at this piece of information, so much so that he couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot.

“Her cousin?”

“Yes. You would also know that if you simply asked who that was.”

“But that would be very intrusive.”

“Yet if you knew, you could ask her out.”

“But how do you know that was her cous— Mrs. Keane, please stop the smacking!”

She scooted closer to the edge of her floral print armchair and held his hands.

“Listen to me and listen to me well. I know you’re a wounded little kitten, but she’s as wounded as you are. Maybe you can groom each other’s scars better,” she caressed his cheek, “She seems perfect for you.”

“How are you so sure?”

Hyunjin thought she would argue things like life experience, being a connoisseur of human nature or an excellent judge of character, but the answer he received left no room for any kind of maybes.

“Because she can’t stop talking about you, either.”

Hyunjin’s absence in the restaurant was unbearably noticeable. There were many times you found yourself in front of his door about to knock, but something in his eyes that night burned away the microscopic amount of determination like the essence he made for you. You missed him. He wasn't yours, but suddenly losing him like that still hurt like hell. You couldn’t come up with a single reasonable excuse to see him one more time. Just once.

When the super nice lady on the ground floor randomly invited you in for tea one day, you didn’t really expect the topic of conversation to come to Hyunjin. You most certainly didn’t want to believe it when she told you not to lose hope, but it came true. When Hyunjin walked into the restaurant again one evening, you could literally feel the clouds parting, the sun shining, and the birds chirping. You simply beamed at the sight of him, hit with this acute urge to run to him and hug him and tell him that you missed him so much, but all you were able to do was faintly smile at him from afar. He had ordered his usuals, but didn’t leave this time once he finished his meal. He stayed. He stayed with his book until the last customer left. That wasn’t the only thing different that night. 

“Are you really serving mulled wine, or is the kitchen closed for the night?”

Yes, you were. You had never made mulled wine with this much care before. Hyunjin specifically asked for it, so he was sure as hell going to have the best mulled wine of his life. He could have asked you for handmade linguini and you would still gladly make it from scratch. Once you finished making it, you noticed he had moved to a little table outside. You brought his wine along with a little charcuterie board he didn’t ask for, and just as you were about to go back inside to watch him from afar, you felt Hyunjin’s hand on yours.

“Would you join me please?”

Well, was water wet? You brought a glass for yourself and sat down next to him, nervous out of your mind and incredibly worried at the possibility that he was able to hear your heartbeat.

His lab. Your restaurant. His heartbreak. Your traumas. His loneliness. Your loneliness. You talked about many things until you saw the bottom of the pitcher.

“What does it mean?” he eventually pointed at the name you chose for the restaurant. 

“It’s Portuguese,” you explained while looking at the sign, “It means an intense longing for something that is absent.”

“It’s poignantly beautiful.”

 Just like you. Like your eyes. Like your bottomless abyss of eyes I wanna keep falling in forever.

“Reminds me of soft florals and dried woods. I would name that perfume Desiderium,” Hyunjin turned to you with a fond smile, “But why name something you love after something so wistful?”

“People think it means ‘Cheers’. No one’s going to check what it actually refers to.”

“But that’s not what I asked.”

No, it wasn’t. But you didn’t really find it in you to break into a self-deprecating monologue about loss and the things you felt like you were never going to be able to experience. You did your best to try to keep it as concise as possible.

“That’s just human nature, don’t you think? We never not…” you heaved a deep sigh while holding his gaze, “...yearn for something.”

You looked at each other in silence. Looking at him for too long felt disrespectful like you needed to ask for permission to gaze at him first. When you averted your eyes, he tried to meet your eyes again with a little smile on his face, but it only got you more flustered. You attempted to change the topic instead.

“You know what pairs well with this?”

Yes, your cunt. Your tight, sweet cunt melting in my mouth. Wrapped around my cock. Squeezing my soul out of me. I could get permanently drunk on you.

“What is it?” Hyunjin asked while clearing his throat.

“Emmental and red globes,” you plucked the fruit from the bunch and held it against his lips, “Here, try it.”

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he bit into the grape. No matter how accidentally, you felt the moist texture inside his mouth for the briefest second. Meanwhile, Hyunjin got so hard over that barely-a-touch that he would cum if you so much as ghosted your hands over his painfully stiff bulge.

Touching his lips hit you like a truck. So soft. Oh god, they were just so soft. He licked them after he swallowed his bite, and you felt completely hypnotized by him. Neither of you dared to say anything. You fixated your eyes on his slightly parted lips. He fixated his eyes on yours. All he could think about was how you tasted. Would your lips also make a crunching sound like the skin of that grape if he bit into your flesh? Would your juices squirt in his mouth the same? 

“And?” you asked him expectantly.

“Incredible.”

No, he wasn’t talking about the pairing. He was talking about you.

The tension built up between you was about to crumble the entire place into a pile of debris. Your heart was beating so fast. So was his. You could actually take his pulse just by watching the throbbing vein on his neck. That begged to be kissed by you. Grazed by you. Choked by you.

You snapped out of it.

“I uh– I should… I should go clean up. I’ll be right back, then we can go home.”

You walked home together in silence. You even climbed the stairs in silence. When you reached his door, you were just supposed to say goodnight but you lingered a bit for reasons that you didn’t even know. All you could think about was his lips… 

Oh god, his fucking lips…

Hyunjin wanted to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him, no doubt about it. He really wanted to invite you in and open his most expensive bottle of wine for you. He wanted to sip on your scent for hours, get drunk with you on desire, and make love to you all night long until he heard you say you couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to hear you moan his name. He wanted to hear you beg for more. He wanted to make you cum over and over again until you forgot who you were. He wanted you.

But what he blurted out instead was a little different than his long-ass internal tirade.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me sometime?”

You felt your cheeks getting even more flushed, completely taken aback by his advance. He briefly thought it was a no when you just gawked at him with mouth agape.

“Unless…”

“I do!” you yelled, “I really do.”

He smiled. Smiling simply did not suit anybody else this much. Hyunjin was born to smile and turn the entire place he was smiling at into heaven-adjacent.

Because you were sure heaven itself rested in the crook of his neck.

“I’d love to take you somewhere where you don’t have to make the food,” he uttered while looking at the tips of his shoes, “Would tomorrow night be okay for you?”

You wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss you, no doubt about it. You wanted to feel those perfect full lips of his on your naked skin. You wanted to taste every inch of him, experience him as a whole, and give him the most violent orgasms of his life. You wanted to run your fingers through his silky smooth hair and pull on it when he least expected it to make him arch towards you. You wanted to hear the sounds of his pleasure induced by you. You wanted to hear him lose his whole entire shit because of you. You wanted him.

You reflected his smile back to him instead.

“It’s perfect,” you managed to find your voice in your throat, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“So do I,” he lifted his head up and finally met your eyes, “Pick you up at 7?”

“Sounds good. Good night, Hyunjin.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

That address smacked your soul into the next century so hard that you almost came all over yourself because of it. It definitely wasn’t an exaggeration because Hyunjin most probably also saw how visibly you shuddered. You bolted back to your apartment and closed the door behind you.

Your mind was crawling with him lately. Hyunjin was in all your thoughts one way or another. You thought about him first thing in the morning. You thought about him while going to work. When you made his favorites in the kitchen. When the Aperol bottle caught your attention over the bar. Going back home. In the shower.

You thought about him the most in your bed while touching yourself.

“Hyunjin…”

You always imagined him, but that night you said his name out loud for the first time. He had such a pretty name to moan. One thing you didn’t know however was that Hyunjin was able to hear you every time you started moaning in your bedroom right above his. Another thing you didn’t know was that the second he heard you pleasuring yourself, he was always masturbating with you.

“I want you. God, I want you so bad.”

What I wouldn’t give to barge into your room right now and lick you to your orgasm, beautiful.

“Please…”

Touch me. Kiss me. Make love to me.

“You… You’re so… Fuck.”

 I’ll go fucking insane if I can’t taste you. 

“Hyunjin… Please, Hyunjin!”

Please let me. I’m begging you. Just once.

That was the first time Hyunjin actually heard you moan his name, completely incredulous that he wasn’t having a fever dream, and he had never cum so hard before. It took an insane amount of edging on his part because if he kept touching himself while listening to you call out to him like that, he would have cum in five seconds.

Once you were done, you wondered what he would sound like in the sheets when you were pleasuring him. You turned around and touched the empty side of your bed, having less than zero clue he was doing the exact same thing one floor down.

“MY SHIP IS FUCKING SAILING! FINALLY!!!”

You had just informed Jia that she had full authority for one night because you had a date, and when she learned about your person of interest she almost popped a bottle of champagne.

“Jesus, woman, keep it in your pants!” you chastised her, “Seriously though, I’m pretty excited about this so maybe don’t call me unless anything’s on fire.”

“Won’t even call you if I die,” she sent you off, “Have fun!”

After finishing the preparations for the dinner service, you took off for your apartment to get ready for the night. You must have changed like five times until you were absolutely content with how you looked, and you barely made it in time when you heard the doorbell.

“Just a second!” you dashed while putting on your earrings, and when you opened the door your jaw fucking dropped. Hyunjin appeared clad in a black blazer and black pants, his usual silver rings adorning his long, slender fingers, looking like an absolute god that didn’t belong in the realm of mortals.

How was he real? How the fuck was this man real?

“Hi,” was all you managed to utter due to your throat being super dry.

Hyunjin wasn’t even able to reciprocate your greeting for a solid five seconds because he was in the middle of being blown away by you.

“Hi. Yes. Uh… Shall we?”

It was a daunting task to pick a place with good food for a chef, but Hyunjin eventually decided on a charming little restaurant by the sea. He asked for permission to pick the wine, and quite frankly, made an excellent choice. Once the initial buzz set in, the bubble of nervousness around your table popped, and you picked up where you left off the night before. It was a lot of talking and drinking and talking and drinking. You could listen to him talk for hours. You could talk about him to random passersby for hours because Hyunjin was the most mesmerizing thing. You weren’t sure if you were getting drunk on wine or him at this point. Just looking at him made you smile.

“Why scents?” you asked him after your fifth glass.

“They have very strong connections to memories,” Hyunjin explained, “One whiff and you can travel back in time. I find it utterly captivating.”

Well, I find you utterly captivating, prince.

You tried to cross your legs under the table, and when your foot touched his, he flinched in his place.

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s uh– It’s okay.”

It would have been normally okay, but unfortunately for Hyunjin, you had noticed how thickly he gulped. Ideas. Ideas. So many ideas. 

When you instinctively ran your foot up his legs, he dropped his fork.

“Did I excite you?” you alluringly asked while tilting your head.

Yes, you did. Hyunjin was never not excited by your mere presence. One look at you and he was gone. Watching you work your magic had been his favorite pastime activity. The way you dexterously played with flavors like a gustatory virtuoso was the sexiest thing he had ever witnessed, seducing him out of his mind every single time. What was he supposed to do when he actually established physical contact with the woman of his dreams? 

He started panicking when he felt your foot run higher up his leg, reaching his thighs by then.

“Wh– What are you doing?”

“Being bold for once. White wine is my kryptonite,” then your voice faded into a whisper, “Am I getting you hard, Hyunjin?”

Why did his name sound this pretty on your lips? He closed his eyes with an exhale, and shamelessly answered your question.

“Yes.”

“Hyunjin,” you took a bite from your dessert and pointed your fork at him, “Your name is just so satisfying to utter, you know?”

When he ran his large hand on your foot under the table, he felt the straps of your heels hugging your ankle. He delicately undid it as if his fingers had minds of their own and removed the shoe, eyes locked with yours. You watched his face intently trying to figure out what he was going to do next.

“Can I be crass for a second?”

“Why, of course,” you sipped on your wine.

“I’d love to hear you scream it someday.”

Oh, he didn’t come to play, did he? That was so fucking brazen unlike his usual composure that you felt yourself clench hard.

You didn’t have to smile like that to seduce him further—Hyunjin was already buried neck-deep in the quicksand of your fantasies, but you did. You smiled at him with shadows crawling in your eyes, causing him to twitch under your foot.

“Then it might be of interest to you to know I have no problem with fucking on the first date.”

Were you always this audacious because it was such a sexy look on you. When you least expected it, you felt Hyunjin rubbing your feet under the table and instinctively closed your eyes.

“You were saying?” he asked innocently.

It shouldn’t have felt this good maybe, but the way he pressed on your pressure points was a little too delicious. You were having a hard time trying to suppress your moans, and you eventually snapped.

“Do you wanna go back home?”

Home. You said ‘home’. You didn’t say ‘my place’ or ‘your place’. He didn’t know why, but it made Hyunjin smile from ear to ear. He asked for the check, put your shoe back on, and held your hand the entire time you walked back to his apartment. Inside, it smelled like home and loneliness and frustration and heartbreak and passion. It smelled like Hyunjin. Abnormally cozy.

The stories of first kisses were uncannily similar to each other, weren’t they? The guy looks at the girl meaningfully. The girl closes her eyes, invites the guy in. The distance between them is slowly closed, and fireworks go off in the distance.

Haha, fuck that. 

The second Hyunjin closed his door, you just couldn’t restrain the urge to kiss him bubbling inside you for fucking forever, and when it finally burst, you unleashed yourself on his lips.

Good–fucking–god.

Hyunjin didn’t kiss normally. He probably didn’t know how to kiss normally. It was deep. So deep. So passionate. His mouth. His tongue. His hands. His breathing. It was threatening to escalate to a double homicide. It was threatening to take your breath away. It was threatening to rip your soul apart.

“Would you like to shower with me first?”

“Shower with you?”

“It’s not what you think,” Hyunjin’s voice was laced with slight concern, “The city tends to mask our natural scents even when we don’t wear any perfume.”

He brushed your hair behind your ears, making you shudder in the meantime.

“And I want you to be completely naked for me.”

You nodded.

He gently held your hand and led you to his bathroom. You stood in front of his sink mirror side by side under his soft yellow vanity lights, and he took out some cotton and a little bottle of makeup remover from the cabinet.

“Don’t hide from me.”

It wasn’t that makeup made you more or less beautiful—at the end of the day, it was just an attire. Just like you would dress according to the occasion. He just wanted to see you exactly as you were. When Hyunjin began removing your makeup, it felt so weirdly intimate, like something a boyfriend of at least six months would do.

Then he proceeded to undo your hair. Stripped you with unrushed movements. For every item he discarded, you rid him of something in return. Your blouse. His jacket. Your bra. His shirt. Your skirt. His pants. Your necklace. His rings. He turned the water on and walked into his glass-enclosed shower with your hands in his.

Hyunjin took a minute to take your sight in. Everything that followed felt like you were slow dancing under warm water. Fingers brushing. His lips on yours. His tongue swirling on your nipples. His wet hair sticking to his face. Lines of water paving their way on his body. You felt somehow dirtier while washing yourself in the best way possible. Hyunjin didn’t have a shower gel—he had a bar of soap instead. He rubbed it on his loofah, delicately washed you, and then rinsed the bubbles off. You felt so vulnerable under his touch for some reason.

“Is the temperature comfortable for you?”

“Mhm.”

Hyunjin turned you around and pressed your wet body against his chest. You could feel how hard he was and how he was twitching on your hips. If the warm water wasn't already rushing down both of you, you could feel how much he was leaking, too. He kept placing kisses on your neck, your shoulder, and your back, making sure his slippery tongue surpassed the wetness of the water on your skin.

“Into me, beautiful.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into his body, relishing the way he was grinding against you and caressing your breasts with one hand. When you least expected it, he brought the shower nozzle against your pussy, causing a moan to escape your lips.

“How's the pressure?”

“Hyunj–”

“Shh,” he whispered soothingly into your ear, “Just answer the question.”

You would love to if you weren’t mortified. It felt like all the effects of the wine just dissipated into thin air.

“Little more.”

Hyunjin rotated the head of the nozzle for more compression and tested it on your clit again. You flinched upon the more intense sensation.

“Now?”

“Too good.”

“Shh, shh, shh, I got you” he wrapped one hand around your waist to keep you in place, “We’ll relax you now.”

Your moans. Unadulterated eroticism. More so hearing them this up close this time no matter how much the volume was down. There was no concrete obstacle between you anymore.

“Not the same thing as your vibrator, but still good, right?”

You snapped your eyes open at his declaration and attempted to look back.

“You– You knew?”

“You didn’t think the thin walls between us could contain your moans, did you beautiful?” he kept talking in whispers to you, “Let me hear you. Properly this time.”

He increased the pressure of the water some more and brought the nozzle closer to your clit.

“Oh my fuc– Hyunjin!!!”

“Mhm. Like that,” he pecked your cheek, “Show me all your colors.”

He kept kissing your neck. Your back. Your shoulderblades. Fondled your breasts. Whispered things into your ear. You threw your hand back to his nape when he finally made you cum.

“That’s it. Let go,” he nodded to the rhythm of your convulsions against his chest, “Relaxed a little?”

“A little,” you admitted while coming down. Of course the pent-up tension of wanting him in the deepest spots of you was not going to go away with a single orgasm. 

“Not fair if all your tension is relieved at once,” Hyunjin turned you around to face him, “I need you to need me.”

Need him? How could you never not need him when he looked like that? Sounded like that? Existed like that? Infesting your mind with himself completely with just the way he looked at you?

When you looked down, you noticed he was rock hard for you, completely flushed with arousal. You never felt such an intense urge to touch something before.

“Not now,” he stopped your hand, “We have plenty of time.”

Fresh bathrobes and clean linen-scented fabric softener smell. Hyunjin unhurriedly combed your hair like he had all the time to kill in the world, and dried the excess moisture in your hair with a towel. When he was finished, he looked at you in the mirror fondly and kissed your nape. You shivered.

You weren’t used to this. You couldn’t get used to this. He wasn’t real. He was just a figment of your imagination. You couldn’t start randomly craving him. No. Just no.

Then again, it might have been a little too late for that because Hyunjin had awakened so many things inside you so far. As you walked into his room, all those urges morphed into a single entity and became impossible to ignore. He was just way too irresistible.

His lips on your nape traveled to your neck and got even wetter. Feeling his wetness on your skin was setting your body on fire. You were trying your best to be patient, but it seemed like he was trying to make you lose it as quickly as possible with his breathy kisses. It was ticklish. It was seductive. It was overwhelming. He didn’t need to seduce you any longer because you were already seduced by him since the first time you laid your eyes on him.

“You said we have plenty of time, right?”

“Of course we do, beautiful.”

You slithered your hands over the belt of his bathrobe and tugged on it.

“Then making love to you can wait a little. I need to fuck you.”

You undid his belt with one harsh pull and peeled the soft towel off of him. Hyunjin instantly responded to you by doing the same and you started devouring each other. Kisses turned into bites. Shy exhales turned into sharp hisses. Brushes of fingers turned into sinking fingertips into flesh. Adoration turned into insatiable need.

“Fuck me. Fuck me now. I’ve waited long enough.”

You had never been kissed with so much need before. It was so fucking passionate that having an orgasm to that was definitely not out of question.

“No more waiting,” Hyunjin whispered against your skin, “God, I need you so bad.”

He lifted you up and placed you on his bed, where he came to the sounds of you for countless nights. You were in complete disbelief that you were actually in his sheets. Where he slept every night. About to pleasure him for real this time.

“Your scent… Drives me fucking crazy.”

“Your taste is no different,” you spread his legs to expose him for you, “Let me.”

Hyunjin was simply the sexiest fucking thing and he reeked of someone who liked things on the freakier side. Of course one of these days you would love to blow him for an entire hour but right then was not the time. You were way too consumed with desire, and judging by how loudly he moaned when you choked on his cock, Hyunjin didn’t seem like he could keep it up for too long, either.

“Take it deeper for me, beautiful.”

Anything to get him to crumble for you like that. Anything to ascend him beyond his wildest imagination. Anything to let him know you would love him so hard he would develop an unbreakable addiction to you. Anything for him. Anything.

“So– So close. A little more.”

No, not a little more. A lot more. Hyunjin could ask for one, but you would give him ten. He deserved it. He only deserved extreme happiness and everything that came with it.

“Oh, fuck, moan for me. Louder. Louder!!!”

Making him cum felt like an out of body experience for you. Nothing could sound this provocative. Nothing could feel this inviting. This enticing. You swallowed all his load and climbed up to share his taste with him.

“This is what you taste like,” you kissed him deeply, “Make me an essence out of it, too. I want my room to smell like you.”

If Hyunjin had any more cum left inside him, he would most definitely cum again.

“Don’t– Don’t say things like that,” his voice came out as a moan, “What are you doing to me?” 

“I want your scent all over my sheets. I want to fall asleep to it. Then wake up to it,” you talked to him in soft whispers while kissing him all over, “I want to cum to it when you’re not around.”

“Fuck, kiss me. Kiss me now.”

He consumed your lips so hard that they were swollen at that point. Hyunjin intertwined his fingers in yours and descended between your legs. Finally. At long last. The one thing he was dreaming about every fucking minute of every day was right before his eyes, throbbing with a perfect sheen of gloss. You were so pent-up already that when he closed his mouth over your cunt, you knew it wasn’t going to be much longer until he snapped you.

“Fucking— Yes. Yes!!!”

Hyunjin eating your pussy was literally no different than him eating his food. With so much gusto. So much enthusiasm. Like his life depended on making you feel good. His tongue gliding on your wet folds with the laziest movements, his full lips in the middle of a very heavy makeout session with your clit to give you the deepest kiss of your life while squeezing both your hands, listening to the sounds of your pleasure, paying very close attention to your volume to know when to increase his speed and pressure. He still didn’t have the courage to say it out loud for fear of scaring you, but he was so sure of his feelings for you that it didn’t stop him from spelling ‘I love you’s on your soaked cunt with his tongue.

“Cum in my mouth, beautiful,” he punctuated his sentence with a gentle suck on your clit, “Need your taste.”

Languid licks on your clit turned into fast teases laser-focused on making you cum, and you finally drenched his lips all over. He didn’t waste a drop and once he finished drinking you, he hovered over you with hunger flashing in his darkened eyes.

“Let’s fuck.”

Hyunjin slid inside you so easily, and you wanted to die when he bottomed out. That stretch was everything you had ever imagined and more. You felt so full. So complete. Hyunjin clicked like he was the missing puzzle piece. Like he belonged there all along. Inside you. Inside your heart.

“Feel every inch of me.”

And feel him you did. He was fucking his sorrow away. He was fucking his way into your heart. He was seeping through all the cracks of your battered soul to be a permanent resident there. He was fucking you deeper in love.

“Don’t– Don’t pull out.”

His lips never left your neck as he kept fucking into you. You were incapable of controlling the urge to kiss him. You kissed him everywhere you could get your lips on. You inhaled his natural musk. You felt yourself die a little every time he whispered things into your ear. The most loving things. The filthiest things. He was buried to the hilt within you, but he still felt like he was lightyears away from you.

“Wanna make you cum again,” Hyunjin spoke as softly as possible while panting over you, “Cum all over my cock this time. Flood me.”

He rubbed your clit with his thumb fervently as he picked up his pace inside you. You were so overwhelmed. Just so overwhelmed by him.

“Look at me,” he forced you to face him, “Look into my eyes when you cum, beautiful.”

Hyunjin was incredibly beautiful especially when he was covered in a sheen of sweat like that. You were trying your utmost best not to kiss his swollen lips again because he asked you to look at him. Who would have thought? Who would have thought you’d actually be in his bed, gracing his sheets, and moaning his name under him like that? How did he get this lucky? Which country did he save in his previous life?

“Oh god, I’m– Fuck! Fuck!!!”

When he felt an excess wetness on his cock, Hyunjin let go and came so much. So fucking much. He coated you through and through like those perfect glazes you created over your desserts. 

“You’re everything,” he spoke with a muffled voice, “You’re everything, beautiful.”

What he wanted to say was you were his everything, but something was still tugging at his collar to stop him, whispering to him ‘Now is not the time’. So what, though? So what if this was your first time together? So what if you hadn’t been to five thousand dates before? Why waste all that time when he knew what he was feeling was way beyond simple infatuation? Why question everything when he knew there was nothing more he wanted than to know everything about you?

Call it being a slave to your urges or hopelessly in love, but neither of you possessed the willpower to keep your hands to yourselves. Your hands needed to be on one another at all times. Touching. Kissing. Tasting. Overloading all your senses with each other.

“Again,” you spoke against his lips, “Let’s go again.”

Your wish was his command. He could make love to you for all eternity if you asked him to. He could make you cum until your mind went numb. He could kiss you until you gasped for air, and even then he would gladly give all the oxygen in his lungs to you. Anything for you. Anything.

“Harder,” you squeezed his arms, “I can take more.”

Maybe you could, but Hyunjin most certainly could not take it anymore.

“Yes, you can. Of course, you can,” he kissed you but it felt more like a heads up, “This is where I belong. Inside you.”

Then he went off. Your moans had become way louder than before, and Hyunjin kept talking between his thrusts.

“Need… to fuck… my cum… deeper… into you…”

You wrapped your legs around him and tackled him to get on top, but Hyunjin wasn’t going to have it. He sat up, still fucking you hard from under you as he sucked on your nipples. You instinctively grabbed fistfuls of his hair and tugged on them. You didn’t expect him to like it that much, but his sharp hisses indicated that he indeed enjoyed it a little too much. When you pulled harder, he moaned louder, and you kissed him breathlessly in return.

“You’re my prince, Hyunjin,” you pressed your forehead against his, “I wanna have you all night.”

Every time you said his name, Hyunjin lost his damn mind. He turned you around to trap you under him, and held one of your legs up. You loved that angle change since it allowed him to hit that one spot, and how much you liked it was very obvious from your moans. You were trying to say something, but you couldn’t produce coherent sentences.

“You want it harder, don’t you beautiful?”

“Yes,” you clawed the sheets, “Fucking yes!”

Hyunjin threw your other leg on his shoulder and started going harder. There was a delicious pressure building inside you, and you couldn’t control your clenches anymore.

“You’re getting closer, aren’t you?” he flashed a fucked out smile, “Let go. Soak me again.”

He started going faster. The way he rubbed against your walls and grazed against that spongy texture inside you made you fucking lose it. The need. The need to make you feel good. The need to feel him in every single one of your cells. The need to die with him and then resurrect each other between one another’s lips.

You were gone. Both of you were.

“Fuck, I’m cumming. Oh, fuck Hyunj– Fuck!!!”

Hyunjin held you close as you arched towards him to ride your orgasm. He was showering you with love, with kisses, with his cum. Once he was out, he collapsed next to you to catch his breath, but the need to kiss was always there. It was never going to go away. 

You both were able to somewhat come down after some time, and when you looked at his beautiful face, you noticed that Hyunjin looked a little pensive. Like something was bothering him.

“What are you thinking about, prince?” you caressed his face.

Hyunjin looked at you with those deep doe eyes of his, and brushed your hair away from your face with his fingers.

“I miss you, beautiful,” he lovingly spoke, “I miss you even when you’re next to me.”

You were overcome with emotion. Not because of what he said, but because of how he was. Who he was. With all his shades that were far from flawless. Hyunjin didn’t live life like an average person because he wasn’t one. He lived by the things he was passionate about, little things that gave him a small but certain happiness, things that made him geek out so fucking hard. You were incredulous how anyone would be so damn blind to what a wonderful tapestry he had for a soul. He was so much more than pretty—he was emotion materialized. He was sentimentality in corporeal form. He was very abnormal about the things that fascinated him, and those were only a handful of reasons why you were head over heels for this man. He spoke to something deep inside you as much as you spoke to him. You evoked as many things in him as he evoked in you. You pulled him into a tight embrace and kissed his hair as he buried his face in your chest. He was tired. He was moved. But more importantly, after what seemed like a life sentence, he felt happy.

For any other person, there were two types of taste: pleasant and unpleasant. You would either consume the crap out of it with sheer appetite or block your tastebuds from sensing that monstrosity. But for Hyunjin, it was not as simple as that. 

Not ever since he met you.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

This is my official coming out story as a Hwanger—may or may not have sequels in the future.

Happy new year in advance.

If you enjoyed this story, feel free to share your thoughts with me in reblogs, tags, or in my inbox. As long as you're kind, that is.

-R. (CB97%)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «ABOUT/FAQ» · «ASK» · «TREAT ME TO PUDDING?🍮»

📢Regarding tagging: Please do not ask me to tag you if you won't be meaningfully engaging with my work. Additionally, I do not tag ageless and/or blank blogs, nor can I tag you if your blog is listed as "invisible" / if you've changed your URL and didn't let me know. Thank you for your cooperation in advance!

📌Permanent taglist: @sai-kida134 ; @ughbehavior ; @hwan-g ; @svintsandghosts ; @skz317cb97 ; @abiaswreck ; @changbinluvr ; @lotus-dly ; @imsuchasimp00 ; @idunnomanmynamewastaken ; @downforseochangbin ; @nabis-dreamscape-world ; @gold-dragon-slayer ; @oiphoebe ; @chansynie ; @streetlight-s : @venustired ; @lachinitaaaaa ; @yoongihan ; @hyunskizz ; @sikebishes ; @changbinheart ; @downbadreading ; @bxffietheblxxdy ; @j-0ne25 ; @binstitsweat ; @chxncinth

ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ Hyunjin x male reader ₊˚🕯️🖤

One more chance

You've always dreamed about being an idol but you never really had the confidence too until your friends pushed you to audition for the new JYP boy group audition and fortunately you passed and made your debut and it was a smash.

Being in jyp entertainment you always pass by a lot of artists in the hallway,you even accidentally bumped into lily and yunah.Then one day you passed by hyunjin in the hallway and he was majestic as you thought he would be even though he was sweaty his sweat was so majestic.You knew I'm you weren't allowed to date but you couldn't help it, you were obsessed. You knew exactly what time he got in the building and what time he got out so you just passed by pretending to go to the dance room.

Hyunjin noticed the first time and was obsessed too but he was so busy that he barely got to just get a glance at your face so every time you passed him on the hallway he just took a look back for a second then walked away to make sure you didn't see him.

Then he decided to make some time for you watching you secretly practicing in the dance room and from there it escalated to having lunch together and meeting up in the studio or dance room cause going to restaurant you would be seen by paparazzi.The only place you could be alone was in the studio and after work hours where everyone left.You basically had a lot of sex there

Until one day you got into an argument because he was making out with a fanboy and his excuse being that you haven't been giving him enough sex.He tried everything but he obviously knew there was no way of getting through that hot head of you so he decided to give you some space. it been like that for weeks not communication and you even blocked his number.

Your group was invited to the golden disc awards and so was hyunjin's group.Unfortunately for you you were sat in front of him so he kept fidgeting with the back of your chair.Deep inside hyunjin was really sorry but didn't know what to do to make it up to you.

You walked to the bathroom to pee and hyunjin got an idea and he followed you to the bathroom and when you saw him get in you walked away but before you could leave he grabbed you dragging to one stall locking the door"before you say anything just listen to me" his grip on you arms tightens "I know I messed and I fucked up big time I'm sorry but..... Pleaase baby boy I've given you enough space and time I'm sorry" his eyes glimmer with regret and pain

"Hyunjin let me go someone is gonna see us"you struggle to break free but both of you know you are not leaving until you accept his apology

"No one is gonna see this baby boy" he unzips his pants and grabs your hand putting it on his hard one crotch eager to be released from the clutches of his boxers"see this is how much I need you pleaaaase just say you forgive me"

"Hyune i-i"what are you gonna do his eyes just tell you how desperate and sorry his but what he did is wrong should you forgive him? You decide to slide you hand in his boxers and grab his cock stroking it to see his reaction and he let's out a soft moan" ahh.... Yeah baby boy does this mean you forgive me"

"Yeah I guess but on one condition"

"Anything for you baby boy" hyunjin said while he bucked his hips towards rubbing his dick on your palm eargerly "you have to let me be in control for once" you said stroking his dick a bit"Sure sure anything for my boy....I'll let you do anything to me just keep doing what you're doing pleaase" he kept bucking his hips forward urging you to continue. You pulled his boxers down and started stroking his cock teasing his tip while he cornered you in the stall nuzzling his head on your neck while letting out soft moans "oh yeah keep going I'm close" his cock was pulsating with heat as you stroked it you could tell his horny he was

"Ahh... Mmmmh babe I'm Cumming" he shoots his seed on you your palm and some shoots over at you pants, hyunjin groans in pleasure as he dick still realising his reminants of his seed"t-thank you baby boy for helping me get off and forgiving me" he pulled up his boxers and zipped up his pants and kissed your forehead and grab you hand leading you to the fauset "come one time for wash off that cum off" he helped you wash your palm that was filled with his cum and grabbed a tissue and whipped off some of it that spilled on your pants.

You walked out the bathroom and went back to your seats but hyunjin couldn't stop thinking about what he could do to you when you were alone together

Let's all agree on one thing; slow and gentle strokes let's not argue it's slow and gentle not rough and fast or even mid

What happens when SKZ discovers you watching The L Word?

{ Pairing } - BF!OT8 (Individual) x bisexual.afab!reader Hyung Line | Maknae Line (coming soon)

{ Synopsis } - A scenario in which each member finds you watching the L word, an old american lesbian drama. They've never seen it before, how will they react?

{ Genre } - established relationship, crack, drabble? imagine? idk what to call it

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, smut, fluff, crack, queer/lesbian relationships mentioned, fxf intercourse mentioned, oral (f. rec.), unprotected sex (piv), transgender character mentioned, discussion of transphobia within the tv show mentioned, threesome mentioned, pregnancy within the show mentioned, infidelity mentioned, a lot of different things are mentioned & I'm probably forgetting some tags lol, bang chan comes across as insecure and it's only because of the annoying ass character in the show i promise, binnie is just a hornball but we love it, lee know is probably the most logical, hyunjin would 100% binge the entire show on his own probably and for the plot too

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - I honestly have no explanation other than, I kept thinking about how each member would react in general to this show. I've been rewatching the L word, it holds a very conflicting and controversial place in my heart lol. Those who've seen it will understand. ALSO. I hope no one takes this as me trying to say SKZ would fetishize queer people. They absolutely would not!!! The show really is lowkey soft porn. Like, every. single. episode. As a queer woman myself, (and this is tmi so I'm sorrryyyyy), there's been many times where me and partners (both men & women) just get turned on from it and get distracted if you know what I mean. So for some of them I guess I pulled personal inspo? I'm hoping this reaches the right audience, because I had a blast imagining these haha.

I hope someone enjoys this very niche piece of work lol ♡

Bangchan -

He was happy to be walking through your door. After the long schedule he had over the past few days, he looked forward to nothing more than being cuddled up and lazy with you all night. He slid his shoes off, and was about to call out for you, when a sound caught his attention. A loud moan coming from your room, with music in the background. And it didn't sound like you.

Curious, he padded his way down the hall. Were you watching porn? Your bedroom door was open. You were laying in bed, on your stomach, and yeah. On your laptop screen were two women, one laying down on her back making obnoxious groaning noises and writhing on the bed as if she were in pain. The other woman was in between her legs, eating her out. The song playing in the background kept repeating, 'everything is perfect now'. He could almost appreciate the song, if it weren't for the fake moaning. He'd never judge you, but, is this what you get off to?

He was stuck flicking his eyes back and forth from the screen, to you, who still hadn't noticed him in the doorway.  You were unphased, watching the scene play out. You were fully clothed, had a blanket thrown over you, and were munching on chips. Okay, so you watch porn for fun maybe? He doesn't know what to think and he doesn't want to interrupt. 

All of a sudden the scene changes, but the song keeps crescendoing. Now there's another couple having sex. This one is sitting up on a couch, head thrown back in pleasure and silent, her jaw hanging open. Her dark skin is glowing with a layer of sweat, and she's got a blonde woman between her legs. 

What the hell is going on? He can't bring himself to look away though. He's too enthralled with what's on the screen now. As different as it was... it was still hot.

The music fades away and now it's back to the annoyingly noisy girl. Her partner climbs up to kiss her and they're talking as the music fades.

The annoying girl says, "Wow, that was amazing. But, of course it was amazing, because you're a girl and..." she trails away as they start to kiss again, "you know how to do that."

Well that got him thinking... he figures it's objective that a girl would be better at it. He started to wonder what you thought. He knows you've been with women before, and he shouldn't compare himself to them. The thought won't leave his head now though.

"Baby?" He mutters.

You whip your head to face him, eyes wide. Then you're jumping out of bed with a smile, to come give him a hug. 

"Hi Channie! I didn't hear you, when did you come home?" You say and wrap your arms around him. 

He's hugging you back, tightly, "What are you watching?"

"Oh, it's called the L word. It's an old tv show from the early 2000's. A lesbian drama." 

He remembers vaguely hearing of the show before, but it's obviously not in his orbit. 

"It's uh- well... it's very-" He's stuttering and he feels his ears turning red.

You give him a devilish smirk, "It's 99% softcore porn, but the plots can be juicy."

He just chuckles at you, "So... do you think it's true what she said? Are women better at head than men?"

"That's the conclusion you drew?" You started laughing, shaking your head, "Don't listen to Molly, I can't stand her character. No, women are not automatically better at it than men. They can be, but men can be too."

"Hmmm... what about the women you've been with? Are they better than the men you've had?"

You eye him curiously now, "Channie where is this coming from?"

"Nowhere. It just got me wondering." He shuffled his feet.

"Well I can safely conclude that you have given me the best head of my life, Mr. Bang." You give him a kiss on the cheek and smile.

He felt his ego inflate, and suddenly, his pants were too constricting, and he was craving tasting you. He pushed you backwards towards the bed and made you sit. Getting on his knees in front of you, he spread your legs and hooked his fingers underneath your waist band.

He looked up at you, "Mmm, maybe we should test it one or two more times... for scientific purposes, yeah? Just so you can be sure."

Lee Know -

He sat next to you, scrolling on his phone. You were watching what you claimed to be one of your favorite tv shows when you were in high school. At first he paid no mind, figuring he'd have little interest. You were always holed up with Jisung and Hyunjin watching k-dramas, and he thought it would be like one of those. He was just glad to be spending quality time with you.

Oh. How wrong he was. 

Not even ten minutes into the episode, and there were already three different story lines going. He didn't catch all of it, but... A seamstress seemed to be inappropriately touching a client, and the client liked it. Really, liked it. Someone named Jenny got kicked out of the house by her husband. There was a lesbian couple expecting a baby, and talking in extreme detail about the more... difficult parts of pregnancy. Now they're all in what looks to be a yoga class, meditating, doing some kind of ritual?

It was unsettling. And it got his attention. 

He attempted to put his focus back on his phone, since he was still lost on it all, but ultimately he failed. He got pulled back into the show, and now he was putting his two cents in.

"Well if those girls are really their friends, why would they make such a big deal about going to a party. I mean, if you were pregnant. I wouldn't want you going to a party on a boat, even if it was with me. Too many things could go wrong." He argued.

He saw how your face flushed at the mention of you being pregnant by him, and he found it cute. 

"Pregnant women are not that fragile, babe. Besides, they didn't mean any harm by it! They just don't want them to forget about their individuality. They want them to have fun before the baby gets here. Once the baby's out, that's it for adult fun for a while." You counter.

"Okay... but isn't this couple the ones who wanted to start a family? The pregnant girl--"

"Tina." You correct him.

"Tina, said it herself, she's nesting. Let her be. They even made comments about how they don't want the two to become boring. Just because they're having a baby, doesn't make them boring. They know their own lifestyle best. The friends don't seem very supportive to me." 

"I mean, I see what you're saying. But I don't know, maybe age comes into play? They're all different ages, I mean Shane is like 23 and Bette is like 33. Their mind sets are different. But they're all, mostly, really good friends to each other." 

He just hums in response, eyes focusing back to his phone once again. He wanted to get back to playing kartrider, but music starts playing on the tv, and his eyes drift back to the screen. This time he's scoffing, this show is so unrealistic.

"You're telling me, you get a bunch of girls on a boat and they all start dancing, making out, getting naked and having sex in a hot tub? I can see why Bette said no."

"It was literally one girl who got naked, the other few were mostly covered by being underwater." You laughed. 

He's laughing at you now, "It wasn't even just her top half either. I saw everything. And they were touching each other. You said this was your favorite show to watch in high school?" 

"Don't judge me," you start to whine, "I had my sapphic awakening in high school! Shane is soooo hot." 

"I never judge, only tease." He reassures you by pulling you into him to cuddle. 

He abandons his phone, interested in finishing the episode of this crazy show with you. 

"Do you want me to restart? We're still on season one, I can go back." You suggest. 

"No, Jagi. I love you, but I don't think I could understand this show if I tried... But I do want to see how this episode ends." 

You just giggle at him, and snuggle up tighter, resting your head on his chest. 

Changbin - 

The room was dark when his eyes blinked open. Not completely though, there was a faint glow from your side of the bed. He looked at the clock on his desk, next to the bed. It reads 1:43 am, what  are you still doing up? He hadn't moved yet, arm still draped over you as you were laying on your side, watching your phone. 

He looked at your phone screen, and saw... three girls making out? You had the volume muted with captions on, he could see why. One girl took the others top off, and exposed breasts were on display now. He noted how you squirmed a bit, rubbing your thighs together as they continued to make out with each other. 

A smirk spread across his face, as he pulled you closer to him, making you jump. You tried to roll over and face him, but he held you in place.

He brought his lips to your ear, "Is this what you're into, bunny?" 

You gasp, "I- It's not... This i-is just-"

"Shhh, my love," and he presses a soft kiss to your neck, and grinds his hardening length against your ass "let me make you feel good, yeah?"

You whimper and nod, and he continues placing kisses on your neck, his hand trailing down to your thigh. You were only wearing your underwear and one of his shirts, so it was easy for him to gain access.

He lifted your leg and pulled your panties to the side, brushing his fingers through your folds. You were so wet already from watching those girls. He grew painfully hard thinking about that. You two loved to experiment in bed, and he knew you were into women too. But threesomes? Fuck, he could lose his mind at the idea.

His fingers were working you now, usually he'd take his time. Worship you slowly, but tonight he was desperately horny, and he was aching to be inside you. 

"Binnie," You moaned, "Please... need you, now..."

He was feral now. All sense gone, the only thing on his mind was the heat between your legs. He gripped the base of his cock, and lined himself up before slowly pushing in.

He groaned lowly, "You feel so good... fuck."

His first few pumps were slow and deep, and you were whimpering for him.

"Faster... please." You whined. 

And he had flipped you on your back now, legs thrown over his shoulders, and was thrusting into you at a near unbearable pace. The sex was erratic and rushed. His hips snapping into you, as your lips locked to each other, teeth clashing, chasing the high. It was only when you clenched around him, reaching your peak, that his hips stuttered with his own release. 

After he got you both cleaned up, he laid in bed and pulled you into him, with your head resting on his chest. 

He broke the comfortable silence, "Princess, why didn't you tell me that's the kind of porn you're into. I've asked you what you've watched before and you never told me."

"I wasn't watching porn." You said laughing. 

"Oh? Could've fooled me."

"I'm serious! It was a tv show I've been rewatching... but, I mean I'm not against the idea." 

"Of a threesome?" He asked excitedly.

"As long as it's another girl..." You say shyly. 

"Bunny... you're going to get me hard all over again."

Hyunjin -

While he had been preparing lunch in the kitchen, you decided to continue your show you've seen a million times. You never get tired of watching it again. You left off right when Carmen's family arrived in Canada for her wedding, courtesy of Helena.

"Shit." Your boyfriend mumbled, and you glanced back to see him taking the pot off the stove.

He'd been paying so much attention to the screen, the Ramyeon started to boil over. You giggled, and got up to help him. The meal was thankfully salvageable, and you filled two bowls of it. He added the toppings to each, and your lunch was done.

When you both sat down, bowls in hand, the next scene was already playing out. 

Jenny and Max. 

"Ugh, I always hated them as a couple. Max could do so much better." You muttered.

He just hummed in response, unsure of what was going on really, and stuffed another bite in his mouth. 

You watched as Jenny and Claude started their conversation. You had to admit they were two extremely beautiful women. They'd definitely make an attractive couple, but they're both just so toxic. 

Your dramatic boyfriend suddenly gasped, "They're flirting."

"Mhmmm." 

"But isn't that girl with the guy? Max?" He argued.

"Yep. Jenny has always been kind of a piece of crap partner. And sometimes a piece of crap friend." 

The scene continued, and soon you saw the two girls laying in bed naked and discussing literature. Food and wine glasses scattered around them. 

"So she's just flat out cheating at this point?" He asks shocked.

"Nothing new really, Jenny has been a cheater in just about every relationship she's had." 

His suspicions are just doubly confirmed when the two girls start making out. Between puffs of cigarette smoke and broken french sentences, their lips continuously meet. It's passionate and sensual, and you always appreciated the beauty of certain sex scenes in this show. 

It did NOT change the fact that Jenny will always disgust you with her unfaithful actions.

You glance over at him, seeing his chopsticks pressed to his bottom lip, his eyes are glued to the screen still. The two girls are pouring champagne in each other's mouths, making out still as it trickles out of the corners of their lips, down their necks to their chest. 

Claude is dribbling some of it on Jenny's nipples, and Jenny is telling her to lick it off of her like a cat. 

"Jeesh." He says, when Claude does just that.

You let out a belly laugh, "Yeah I don't know how they did some of these scenes, it all seems too realistic sometimes."

"No, I'm just still shocked that she's cheating right now. He clearly would have seen them talking at the ski resort, and leaving together. He's going to know what's up. She should've just broken up with him." 

"Jenny likes to complicate everything in her life. She lives for the drama." 

"Jenny seems to be a narcissistic, deceitful, and adulterous woman." He mumbled. 

He's hooked on everything happening in this show. He was one step ahead of each scene, too. Picking up on the characters dynamics easily. He even called that Shane was going to leave Carmen at the altar, when Shane caught her dad having an affair. 

"She doesn't have to be like her father! Commitment issues aren't passed down by your parents or written into your dna." He whined. 

"I know! But her trauma runs deep, it's no excuse though. Shane has her own problems to work out and heal from. I think right now, it's easier for her to play into the 'it's just who I am' card too. Just like dear old dad."

As the episode ended, on at least three major cliffhangers, he turned to you with his jaw dropped. 

"You're telling me in the last ten minutes of this episode, we're experiencing; a baby being kidnapped by her other mother, Jenny being a transphobic piece of shit WHILE cheating in front of Max, and an heiress being cut off financially by her mother, while her mother is having a lesbian awakening?!" He rushes out in one breath, "On top of not knowing where Shane went? And Shane's dad essentially stole ten thousand dollars?!" 

"I haven't even told you about Lara and Alice's back story. Dana's story will break your heart." You chuckled. 

He just deadpanned you, "Alright, we need to start this over from the top. I'm talking about season one, episode one."

He started making himself comfy on the couch, cuddling up to you and tossing the throw blanket over you two. 

"Are you sure...? This show can get so cringey. Especially in the beginning seasons."

"I'm 1000% sure. It's strangely addicting." 

You just laughed at that, and  snuggled up to him, ready to binge watch this crazy show with the love of your life.

All banner cred: @cafekitsune

Taglist:

@eczlipse @sailor--sun @maisyyyyyy @jupire @prettiichocolateprincess

@meowmeowminnie @joyofbebbanburg @adieu-lisette @sleeping-beau-tay @staytinyluv

@lookitsjess @majorlymismanaged @kpopsstuffs @helloimacalumgirl @bbokarimenu

@bubblepop-stay @mauvemelon @ohhlittlegirl @ang4lheart @spnwinchestersd

@adieu-lisette @loud-minhoe @juwire @anylady-fics @antisocialties

@nebugalaxy @wowitsafemale

As always, please let me know if you'd like to join the taglist. And if you do, pretty please interact with my fics besides liking. Although I appreciate liking as well! Feedback is always cherished! ♡

But again, please be gentle in your criticism! I am but a sensitive soul.

intro + master list

welcome to my corner of delusion.

The SKZ House (series)

Summary: When you, down on your luck and looking for a place to live, see the Sigma Kappa Zeta fraternity ad for an "In-House Stay", you apply and are accepted. Your duties? Cooking...cleaning...oh, and pleasing your assigned members: Hwang Hyunjin and Bang Chan.

Chapter One: Of Breakups & New Housing

Chapter Two: Of Ex's & Tesla's

Chapter Three: Of Blowjobs & Birthdays

Chapter Four: Of Pineapples & Punishment

Chapter Five: Of Mirrors & Lessons

Chapter Six: Of Joy Rides & Hot Tubs

Chapter Seven: Of Watching & Submiting

Chapter Eight: Of Drive-Ins & Wishes

Chapter Nine: Of Halloween & Hallways

Chapter Ten: Of Yin & Yang

Chapter Eleven: Of Triple N's & Multiple O's

Chapter Twelve: Of Delays & Professor Bang

Chapter Thirteen: Of Girl Talk & Berry

Chapter Fourteen: Of Surprises & Closets

Chapter Fifteen: Of Showers & Cabins

Chapter Sixteen: Of Chan & Cuffs

Chapter Seventeen: Of Futures & Flights

Chapter Eighteen: Of Beaches & Baclonies

Chapter Nineteen: Of Chokers & Christmas

Chapter Twenty: Of Father's & Basements

Chapter Twenty-One: Of Rotations & Doors

Chapter Twenty-Two: Of Seungmin and Karaoke

Chapter Twenty-Three: Of You (Chan POV)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Of Changbin and Roses (Coming Soon)

References:

SKZ House Photo Book (to help you picture certain scenes)

Hyunjin who loves his girlfriend’s small boobs because he finds it so adorable how perfectly they fit in his big hands 🤧

“what you lack in size you make up for in attitude” cus hyune is a brat tamer 100% i don’t make the rules. but he’ll appreciate your small tiddies in every single way. his favorite thing is spooning you awake and pawing at your boobs cus it’s just the right size and makes his size kink go brrrrrr. also thoroughly enjoys sucking your tits just to have something in his mouth. he thinks you’re so so pretty when you’re on your back and he’s fucking you and your lil tits jiggle, he giggles cus it’s just too cute.

황현진 BOYFRIEND HYUNJIN WHO...

bf! hyunjin who likes to squish your face and take pictures of you, so he can blackmail you by threatening to send them to everyone unless you give him a kiss.

bf! hyunjin who spams your instagram comment section whenever you post. "woah do you have a bf?" "all mine 😘"

bf! hyunjin who likes to copy your outfits and act like they're all his ideas

bf! hyunjin who makes spotify playlists to romanticize every moment he spends with you, whether its a road trip compilation or a midnight baking mix

bf! hyunjin who likes to send you red roses when he's far from home and adds fancy little handwritten notes for you to find

bf! hyunjin who brags about you to his friends and feels more proud than jealous when other boys admire you.

bf! hyunjin who changes your lock screen to a selfie of him when you're not looking, so you'll have a constant reminder of him

bf! hyunjin who complains about you stealing his sweatshirts but secretly loves to see you in his clothing

bf! hyunjin who sends you real love letters written on paper, instead of just text messages or emails

bf! hyunjin who pulls you outside so you can slow dance in the pouring rain

bf! hyunjin who likes to sketch you in his notebook whenever you aren't looking; when you're cooking, sleeping, or tapping away on your computer

bf! hyunjin who lets you try out new hairstyles on him and loves to post selfies of him all dolled-up, even if he has sparkly pink bows in his hair

bf! hyunjin who buys your perfume and sprays it on his pillow when you're not with him and he misses you

bf! hyunjin who buys a ring only a few months into dating and hides it in his closet for when he thinks you're ready, because that's just how much he loves you.

─ .✦ 𝐈'𝐦 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 ― 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 📲

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!hyunjin x reader

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, hurt/no comfort

𝙎𝙎: 5

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: hurt/no comfort, no happy ending, Hyunjin is being mean but reader is standing up for themselves

⤷ 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

ᯓ★ 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ― 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧

. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁

. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!Hyunjin x GN!reader, established relationship

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: Fluff, suggestive

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1.2k — 9 𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: suggestive at the end, mentions of drinking alcohol

𝘼/𝙉: This was my first request for Hyunjin! Jisung's version is coming soon. Hopefully you'll like it! :)

⤷ 𝘊𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘢𝘺.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗷𝗶𝗻'𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 | 𝗝𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁

When Hyunjin opened the door to your shared apartment, the smell of different spices hit him first. A little bit confused, he took off his shoes and put down his stuff before walking further into the apartment. He could hear your daily Spotify playlist playing over the speakers in the living room. His feet carried him through the apartment in search of you.

Hyunjin had a long day at work and couldn’t wait to feel your arms wrap around him while he took you into his embrace. He had to stay in the studio a few hours longer than expected because the songs they were working on were not really coming along as they had hoped. Chan tried his best to get it done as fast as possible, but he’s no superhero with superpowers. Sometimes it takes a little bit more work and time to get things done.

Normally, Hyunjin didn’t mind working a few hours longer than planned. That was before he met you, though. Before he met you, he often felt lonely. Sometimes it wasn’t a bad feeling, knowing he could be home as late as he wanted without having to consider anyone else with whom he shared his private life. At other times, he longed for the touch of a partner. He longed for intimate touches but also quick, fleeting ones—kissing his partner goodbye before leaving for work, coming home to cuddle in the late hours of the night, moonlight peeking through the bedroom window.

He found all of that when he met you, and he couldn’t be more grateful for it.

The tension and stress of the long workday began to settle in the muscles of his shoulders and neck. He could use a massage, preferably from you while you left soft kisses on his skin in between, he thought.

As he approached the kitchen, he could hear you humming along with the music. A soft smile graced his face as he stopped to just listen to you. You hadn’t heard him come in yet and were still focused on preparing Hyunjin’s favorite home-cooked meal. Cutting up the ingredients, you added them to the pan on the stove before seasoning everything just right.

Hyunjin watched you work for a few minutes before making himself known. Hearing his footsteps approaching, you let out a small yelp, placing a hand over your heart. “Oh my god, you scared me for a second, Hyune.” His face showed amusement at your reaction. “I didn’t hear you come in. I’m making your favorite meal, though.” You set down the cutlery and wiped your hands with a kitchen towel.

“I figured, but I didn’t want to disturb you. I love to watch you cook.” He took you in his embrace, and you wrapped your arms around him. By the way he leaned into you, you could feel how tired he was. “Long day?”

You felt him nod against you, still holding you close. “So busy, it’s stressful.” You peeked at his face and saw tiredness etched across his features. Giving him a soft peck on the lips, you stepped out of his arms and turned your attention back to the food on the stove, stirring it. Hyunjin came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your frame again, resting his head on your shoulder to watch as you cooked. You hummed along to the music once more, and Hyunjin soaked in the moment. Coming home to you cooking his favorite meal and taking care of him after such a long day was one of the best things in his life.

He absolutely loved his idol life, his career, and all the opportunities he’d had since debuting, but nothing beat this feeling with you—coming home to you, holding you, loving you, and being loved by you. He thanked the gods for the day when he bumped into you after you walked out of the coffee shop. Your drink had spilled all over you, and you were ready to get angry at the person who’d caused the mess. When you looked up, it felt like time stood still for a moment. He was the most beautiful man you’d ever laid eyes on, and you almost wanted to apologize for him bumping into you.

Hyunjin felt the same spark when your eyes met, and his breath caught in his throat. Even with your drink spilled all over your white shirt —which was totally his fault— you still looked gorgeous. Eventually, he made it up to you by buying you a new drink. You two started talking and haven’t stopped to this day.

“Go sit down, baby. I’ll pour you a glass of wine and finish up cooking.” Hyunjin let out a soft sigh as you turned around to get him a glass. He smiled to himself and headed to the bedroom to change. After returning to the living room, he saw a glass of red wine on the coffee table and noticed his favorite movie was already starting on the TV.

“What would I do without them,” he whispered to himself. He settled down on the couch, in his favorite spot, and took a sip of the wine. Finally relaxing, he thought, turning his attention to the TV. After a few minutes, he felt your hands on his shoulders. Softly, you began to massage his tense muscles, and he let his head fall back, closing his eyes. Your hands felt like heaven.

You continued the massage in silence, with the sounds of the TV and your playlist in the background. “Do you want to talk about your day?” you asked after a minute. A sigh left his lips, and he opened his eyes to look up at you. “Nothing special, we just needed to finish this song. It was just a long day.” You nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. “I’ll get two plates, and we can eat in front of the TV. Don’t move, mister.” Hyunjin chuckled, already missing your touch as you went back into the kitchen.

He heard you rummaging around, and after a few minutes, you reappeared with two plates. Sitting down next to him, you handed him his. You ate in comfortable silence, watching the movie you’d put on for him. After dinner, you quickly cleaned the plates and loaded the dishwasher. Hyunjin tried to help, but you motioned for him to stay seated and relax.

“You’re the best, you know that?” he said as you came back with more wine. You sat down and poured him another glass. “You work so hard. I thought I’d surprise you with your favorite meal. It’s the least I could do.”

You smiled softly at him and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. His hand came up to hold yours, and he left a small kiss on the back of your hand. Even though the gesture was small, it still gave you butterflies. Setting down your glass, you turned to him. “Are you fully relaxed now?” He nodded. “I think so. Thank you for taking care of me, baby.”

“Always.” You leaned closer and gave him a soft kiss. “I thought about running you a hot bath, and maybe I can join you?” Hyunjin hummed in agreement and kissed you again. “I think that’s a great idea. Afterward, I can properly thank you for taking care of me.” He pulled back with a smirk on his lips. You saw his gaze darken slightly and nodded, your hands running up his chest before resting at the nape of his neck. Leaning in for another kiss, you whispered seductively, “I think I love that proposal.”

. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁˖ . ܁

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

─ .✦ 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐅𝐅!𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐧𝐮𝐝𝐞 📲

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: bff!Hyunjin x fem!reader

𝙎𝙎:

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: suggestive, fluff-ish

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: suggestive, some cursing

𝘼/𝙉: requested! Hopefully, you'll love it :)

⤷ 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘯𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵.

𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗷𝗶𝗻'𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 | 𝗝𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

ᯓ★ 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 ― 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!Hyunjin x fem!reader

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 3,2k (got a little carried away lol) — 𝟮𝟮 𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, comfort

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: hurt/comfort, reader's insecure and hyunjin is being oblivious most of the time

𝘼/𝙉: This is also a request. I normally don't really like reading angst but writing it is so much fun lol. Hope you'll enjoy this one!

⤷ 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘺.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

You were heading to the studio with lunch for Hyunjin and the others. He didn’t reply to your texts all morning so you thought you’d surprise him and the others with lunch. You know how they can be when they are busy, so they probably appreciate it if you bring them something to eat.

You entered the building and down the hall to the studio they’d probably be at. Stopping in front of the door, you see it was not fully closed. Raising your hand to knock before entering, your hand comes to a halt when you hear your boyfriend’s voice.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, really. It was just that his voice was a little louder than usual, and you happened to stop by at the wrong time.

“Man, it’s so annoying. My phone keeps blowing up and she won’t leave me alone,” you could hear him let out a frustrating groan. “Sometimes she’s just… too clingy, you know? As if she can’t do anything by herself. ‘S driving me crazy.”

Murmurs followed your boyfriend's confession, but your heart was pounding so loud to hear their responses. Hyunjin said it so casually, but his words hit you like a punch to the gut.

Clingy? He thought you were being too clingy?

You thought you were just showing how much you cared for him — it hadn’t felt like too much. But now it felt like you overstayed your welcome like everything you did and every touch had been one too many.

Fighting back the sudden tightness in your chest, you swallowed hard. You stood by the door for a minute gathering your thoughts, before silently turning around to walk away. Your heart now aching with a newfound distance you weren’t sure how to close.

Apparently, your lingering by the door hadn’t gone unnoticed by one of the members. Felix saw something from the corner of his eye and before he could say something, he saw you turn around and walk away from the studio.

He frowned at the words of his friend and the thought of you possibly overhearing him. “She just cares about you,” Felix spoke up before getting out his phone to text you. He didn’t get a response from the older boy, at least not a verbal one.

You arrived back home when you heard your phone going off. Could it be Hyunjin? Did he text you a lie about how he was just busy and didn’t see your texts coming through?

You hated this. You hated this feeling of being lied to. If he thought it was too much, he should have just said so instead of going to his members behind your back.

Sure, he can vent to his friends. It’s not like you don’t do this with your girlfriends. But complaining about your partner and being actually hurtful? You wouldn’t do that.

You set down the bags that contained the lunch boxes before getting your phone out of your purse. It was Felix, asking if you just stopped by. He had seen you turn around and walk away instead of coming in.

You quickly typed a reply, saying you did want to stop by but forgot something at home. It wasn’t really a lie that he would believe, but at this point, you didn’t want to talk about it.

Your heart felt heavy and when you finally sat down on your couch, you felt the pressure behind your eyes building up.

Maybe you were overreacting? No, this was a valid reaction to something that felt so hurtful. This started a spiral of overthinking.

Were you really that clingy? And was it so bad that he might consider breaking up with you? He knew your last boyfriend said one of the reasons he broke up with you was because you were so overbearing towards him. But it was just because you love to show people you care about them.

In the beginning, Hyunjin assured you multiple times that you weren’t overbearing. He said he loved it when all your attention was on him and that you made him feel so loved and special with every little thing you did for him.

So what has changed?

You had hoped your afternoon would be filled with spending some time with your boyfriend, his friends and good food. Instead, it was filled with overthinking and tears.

In the days that followed you tried to act as if nothing was wrong. You tried to continue on, but his words echoed in your head and it made it impossible for you to be as relaxed as before.

Hyunjin could feel you were pulling back slowly, creating distance between the two of you.

The thing that stood out the most was how your frequent texting went from constant texting him things to a few texts a day to almost radio silence during the day.

Normally, you’d always ask him how his day was going, if he needed something to eat, if you could stop by to see what they were working on and even random things you’ve seen during the day that reminded you of him.

Now it felt like you only texted him out of necessity and not because you wanted to talk to your boyfriend.

The week continued, and it seems like the rift between you and Hyunjin has grown even wider. The tension kept knotting in your stomach and your hands kept fidgeting when you were alone together.

You were asleep, or pretended to be, when Hyunjin left for work and the dinners you had together were being eaten in an uncomfortable silence.

You cancelled a date night with the excuse of not feeling great and went straight to the bedroom. You didn’t come out for the rest of the night, leaving Hyunjin alone with his thoughts.

He felt like you were on edge, but he couldn’t figure out why or what had happened for you to be acting this way towards him. The sudden coldness and distance.

He had to admit, he missed your blabbing during dinner, or when you’re watching a movie and you tell him random fun facts about it. He just could not dwell long on your behaviour, because work still demanded a lot of his time and energy.

This resulted in the members deciding to go out to dinner together when they finished the last remaining details for the comeback. Felix suggested asking you along too; he got the feeling from his friend that something was going on between you.

Hyunjin hasn't talked much about you and what you guys have been up to lately, but he hasn't seen you in the studio during lunch lately either. You would normally come to surprise your boyfriend and the members while they were working hard on their comeback.

This also raised suspicions that you might have overheard Hyunjin's harsh words.

That brings you to here right now, at a table in a fancy restaurant, sitting next to Felix and Hyunjin. Your hands started fidgeting again, a habit you picked up the past few days.

Hyunjin sitting next to you, oblivious to your fidgeting, laughing and chatting with his friends - like hadn’t shattered your confidence with one careless comment.

“Hey, are you alright?” Felix’s voice was soft as he leaned closer, his concern clear. You gave him a small, forced smile.

“Yeah, just tired,” you mumbled. The lie felt heavy, but the ache in your chest felt even heavier.

Hyunjin’s laughter pulled your attention back to him. He looked so carefree and completely unaware of the hurt he’d caused. That’s what stung the most—how easy it was for him to say something that lingered with you, while he didn’t seem bothered at all.

Did he really not notice? Or does he not care enough to do something about it. Then again, you didn’t know if you should bring it up to him.

Felix spoke up again, “I haven’t seen you at our studio during lunchtime lately. What’s up with that?”

His attention was fully on you, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of yours. The question seems to caught you off guard. He observed you telling a forced lie to him about your absence. Suspicion confirmed.

Your eyes strayed quickly to Hyunjin but it seemed you didn't want to focus your attention on your boyfriend. His attention went to your hands, which were still fidgeting. He knew now that you indeed heard your boyfriend tell his members that he thought you were clingy and it was eating away at you.

This needs to be resolved quickly, he thought, but he didn’t want to intervene right now. It seems like you need a friend in this moment and he wanted to help you not have the troubling thoughts in your head for a moment.

He switched up the conversation with a different question to ease your mind, and you seemed to be eager to change the topic.

And this did work for a while, you were having good food and good conversations with the rest of the group. Except for Hyunijn, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

After the dinner ended, and everyone went their separate ways home, you fell back into an uncomfortable silence again. The car ride home seemed to last hours when it was in fact only a 20-minute drive.

Hyunjin tried to place his hand on your leg, but you just slightly turned your body the other way and faced the window the entire ride home.

When you stepped foot into your apartment, you immediately headed to your bedroom to change into your pyjamas. Hyunjin still was a little confused and watched you disappear into the bedroom.

Deciding to confront you about the distance he felt, he went after you. You were already in the bathroom, removing your make-up.

“Hey,” Hyunjin’s voice was cautious, a little hesitant. “Is something wrong?”

You didn’t answer him straight away. Your eyes found his and you looked at him through the mirror, before settling back to your own reflection to continue removing your make-up.

Should you admit that you’d heard everything? The hurt twisted inside you, mingling with the fear of pushing him away even more.

Finally, you turned to face him, your voice barely audible. “Do you really think I’m clingy?”

The question clearly caught him off guard, he just stood there and blinked at you. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but the words didn’t leave his lips.

The silence followed by your question was suffocating and it made you second — no, triple—guess all the thoughts and emotions you’ve felt for the past days. The reaction he gave you made your mind wonder if you might be overreacting to five simple words.

‘Sometimes she’s just too clingy’.

You felt so vulnerable, but you couldn’t hide your unspoken thoughts anymore. Your eyes stayed focused on Hyunjin. He swallowed thickly before parting his lips to speak. “You’ve heard?”

He had no idea you were at the studio, or near the studio when he was venting to his members.

A sad and tired sigh left your lips and you turned your attention back to your reflection, continuing your skincare. It felt weird, acting as if it was just a normal question, meanwhile the words chipped away at your confidence.

“It’s just... sometimes...” His voice finally broke the tension, but it didn’t sound as sure as you’d hoped. Running a hand through his hair, frustration flickering across his features.

You could see him trying to find the right words, but every second he hesitated only making your chest tighten more.

“What? Sometimes what?” you pressed on. “I’m sometimes too much? Am I too close all the time? Overbearing? I can’t do anything by myself?” Though your voice was quieter now, he could hear the hurt and uncertainty bleeding through.

He winced slightly at your words and pressed his lips together. He let out another sigh, “No, it’s not like that. I- I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words.

You didn’t respond to his words, just waiting for an explanation as to why he said you were ‘too clingy’ and ‘couldn’t do anything by yourself’. But the explanation never seemed to come, the words stuck in his throat.

Though, you weren’t sure what you wanted to hear. His silence felt louder than any explanation he could have given.

“I was venting, and I just… I didn’t know you heard that... I’m sorry.” Frustration was seeping into his features. “It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or- or what you do!” His voice softened and his eyes searched yours.

He didn’t know whether to take a step towards you and reach out or keep his distance, though the latter option is something you already succeeded in the past few days.

It didn’t feel good enough for you. The words fell flat between you, without meaning. You felt your chest tighten again and the suffocating feeling in your throat came back. The burning sensation of fresh tears behind your eyes was building up, ready to be released down your cheeks.

Turning away from him and nodded, “I get it, Hyunjin.” The man winced at the sound of your voice and hearing his name coming from your lips. “It’s fine. My ex said the same things, I’m used to it by now.”

It wasn’t fine. You weren’t used to it, not by a long shot. But you didn’t know if you could handle hearing more, or even if you wanted to.

Pushing past him, you went back into your bedroom. Turning on the lamp on your bedside table, you pulled back the covers and got into bed. Hyunjin lingered in the bathroom, trying to gather his thoughts on how he could explain to you he didn’t mean it like that.

He didn’t mean to hurt you, it was just in the heat of the moment and being stressed out because of work didn’t help either. Not that it should be an excuse.

You reminded him of the words your ex had said to you tugging at his heartstrings. That hurt. He knew it was a bad and rough break-up for you.

Even though it was so significantly small for him, something said in passing when he was stressed, holds an entirely different meaning and feeling for you.

You lay in bed staring at the window, silently letting the salty tears run down your face, and onto your pillowcase. From your position in bed, you reached out to turn off your light. The darkness engulfed you.

Hyunjin came into the bedroom after a minute. You felt the bed dip behind you, and he softly reached out to you. He rested his hand on your shoulder, trying to be comforting to you.

He could hear your breathing, uneven and heavy. Without seeing your face, he knew tears were rolling down.

The moonlight is peeking through the see-through curtains in front of the window., and it lit up your face. Right now, that was the only light in the room. You stayed quiet, not trusting your voice to say anything to your boyfriend.

“It’s not fine,” he murmured, almost like he was talking more to himself than to you. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” When he didn’t hear anything from you, he continued.

“I just…” He exhaled slowly, clearly struggling. “I didn’t know how to explain it. Sometimes, when I’m stressed or overwhelmed, I don’t know how to handle things. But it’s not about you. It’s never about you.”

His words hovered between you. The sting of what you’d overheard lingered, reminding you of how easy it was for him to call you clingy in front of the others.

You wondered if he even realized how much that had hurt, or if he was just trying to smooth things over now that he knew you’d overheard.

“Then why say it at all?” you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady. “If it wasn’t about me, why say it like that? Why make me feel like… like I’m too much?”

Hyunjin looked pained, his eyes flickering with regret as he gently pulled you to him in the dark. “You’re not too much. You never are.” At his words, you turned to face him.

Carefully he reaches for your hair to brush the loose strands from your face. “I know it's not an excuse to say I was stressed, but I really didn't mean it. The past few days I felt the distance between us and it ate away at me. I didn't know what was going on and what I had done to make you distance yourself from me.”

Your silence urges him to continue, “I didn't know how to bring this up, but I understand why you've been so distant these past few days. I was just venting to my friends without realizing this could hurt you. Especially after your break-up with your ex, I'm so sorry...”

His fingertips traced the side of your face before wiping away the tears that ran free. You swallowed hard, you wanted to believe him. You really did, because it is normal for people to vent about their feelings, good and bad.

But another part, the part that heard him so casually say you were clingy, kept you guarded.

Your hand reached out for his that was still lightly tracing your face, “I don’t want to feel like I’m smothering you, Hyunjin. I just… I don’t know what to do now.”

“You know, I missed your random texts. The one you always send if you see something that reminds you of me. And when you ask me how my day is going. The boys also have been asking about you, y’know.”

The sincerity in his voice made you look up at him. “They miss you at lunch too, just like I do.” For the first time since this conversation started, you saw the cracks in his usual confidence.

“It really hurt, the way you said it so casually too. And it felt like a punch in the gut after you know what my ex said to me. But it is my insecurity, not yours. I just need to figure out how to deal with it.”

He gently shook his head. “If you feel hurt about what I said, that is completely valid. I know it is an insecurity of yours, and I shouldn’t have been so casual about it.”

You let out a sigh and initiated intertwining your fingers with his. The small act brought a soft smile to his face. Watching your features, being lit up by the moonlight, he felt his racing heartbeat calm down.

“We’ll figure it out together baby. If I feel like I don’t need a distraction during work, I’ll put on my do-not-disturb mode on my phone, okay?” His words made you nod in agreement.

“And I will try to communicate my feelings more, especially when it comes to something like this. I realize now that I just have to talk about this when it bothers me.”

In response to your words, he nodded. “I love you, baby, so much.” Before you could respond he drew you closer, his lips brushing yours in a lingering kiss. “I love you too Jinnie.” You tugged him closer, kissing him with tender, quiet softness. You finally felt the tightness in your chest melt away.

He wanted to do better for you. His hand in yours felt like a promise—one he wasn’t going to let slip away.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

─ .✦ 𝐓𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐟!𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫 📲

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!Hyunjin x reader, established relationship

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: fluff

𝙎𝙎: 10

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: fluff fluff fluff

𝘼/𝙉: part of a request and it was just really cute. Took some inspo for this request of my conversations I have with my boyfriend when I'm away for a few days lol

⤷ 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘳.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗛𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗷𝗶𝗻'𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 | 𝗝𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 — 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧, 𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Roommate!Hyunjin x fem!reader x Roommate!Jisung

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: smut, tiniest bit of angst, a little bit of fluff

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 4.8K — 32 𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: written in 3rd person pov, (brief mentions) of grief and death, alcohol consumption and allusion to substance abuse, threesome, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (be responsible guys!), pet names, a bit of a praise kink, creampie, swallowing lmk if I missed anything

𝘼/𝙉: Got this idea when I listened to things song the first few times. It took me a while to write it and it is still not edited or proof-read so please bear with me. English is not my first language!

⤷ 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘑𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Uh, she was always dealing with the devil

Grief can make life feel unbearable, especially after losing someone so dear to you. 

She knew this. It was consuming her whole, leaving her with a pain she couldn’t seem to numb in her daily life. The loss brought a new sense of pain she didn’t know one could feel.

In her attempt to escape the harsh reality, she kept drinking and drinking. But now, even the alcohol’s buzz no longer numbed the pain; she had grown used to it. It only brought her more agony, yet that didn’t mean she’d stop trying to numb it.

She had once mentioned wanting to try something else—another method to get a temporary fix, just a brief moment of relief from the pain. 

That’s why she was here tonight, with her friends, trying to dull the ache grief had left behind.

Shot after shot, Jisung and Hyunjin stayed by her side. 

Already buzzed from pregaming at their shared apartment with their other friends, they couldn't stop thinking about what she had said before.

She was always into taking those chances, yeah

The apartment Y/N shared with Hyunjin and Jisung was, yet again, the designated pregame spot. She needed another night out to drown out the pain she felt, so she suggested getting together with their friends, drinking a lot of booze, and going out afterward.

As the hours went by, the alcohol ensured they were all tipsy and gave her a rush of confidence she wouldn’t have otherwise.

“I just need to get laid again,” she said, sipping her mixed drink. Catching the wide eyes of her roommates over the rim of her glass, she smirked. Her intention became more obvious to them as she continued.

“Y’know, I’ve always wanted to try a threesome. Have any of you tried it?” she asked the guys as innocently as possible, but her two roommates caught her underlying tone.

“I have! You guys gotta try it!” Changbin, already very intoxicated, yelled out.

The rest chimed in with, “No, you didn’t,” “What was it like?” and the most-asked question: Was it with two women or with a man and a woman?

Grinning at the commotion she stirred up, her eyes drifted back over to her two roommates. They were huddled together, having a hushed conversation.

Jisung glanced at her with an almost pathetic and desperate look in his eyes. Quickly averting his gaze back to Hyunjin, his mind started to wander because of her statement.

Maybe they should ditch the substances tonight and try a different form of relief. Maybe even two different forms?

It was no secret to her, or any of their friends, that her two roommates were attracted to her. They, however, were oblivious to her attraction towards them, but the rest of the group wasn’t.

“Maybe we should ask her tonight,” Hyunjin quietly said to the younger boy next to him. 

Jisung pursed his lips and nodded. “Maybe.”

“I mean, she said she’d always wanted to try it,” Hyunjin proceeded. 

“And we both want to try it. So maybe we should do it.” Jisung nodded again at his friend. Lust crept in and clouded his mind. 

Man, he needs another drink. 

“What are you boys talking about?” Your voice pulled both boys out of their hushed conversation as if they were getting caught doing something they shouldn’t. 

“Uh–just uh, nothing special,” Jisung stammered out, mentally face-palming himself for his stupid cover-up. 

Hyunjin gave him a pointed look and averted his eyes back to yours. 

“Just sharing some thoughts,” he said as he gulped down his drink all at once. He set his glass on the table and wiped his mouth with his long fingers. 

The gesture did not escape her, her eyes fixed on his fingers. Hyunjin observed her as her eyes glassed over, still fixated on his hands. He watched her as she took her lower lip into her mouth and softly bit down. The look spreading on her face could only be described as horny.

It made him smirk, and now it confirmed for him that tonight was the night he’d show her another way of pleasure with Jisung.

Then she fell in love with a pill that could take away all her pain, uh 

Then she fell in love with a whole new drug that could fill her veins, and then

She kept chasing that high. The euphoric feeling blocked out all the pain she felt, pushing it further down the black box of grief and mourning. The box she didn’t want to open up and allow herself to feel with all the emotions at once.

She didn’t want to just feel, she just wanted to feel. Feel the ecstatic rush, the euphoric sensation, and just block out all her thoughts of the real world. She wants to be in this moment, in this delicious bubble of ecstasy, surrounded by her people.

Swaying her hips to the beat of the music, she let her hands roam her body. Featherlight touches as if teasing her skin, leaving a trail of hot, tingling sensation in its wake. She let her head hang back, closing her eyes while she felt the dopamine rush coming in.

Strobing lights flashed through the area, and she could only see flashes behind her closed eyelids. Lost in her pleasure out on the dance floor, two pairs of eyes followed her every move. 

Their eyes glued to her body, viewing how her hands teased her soft tummy, fingers trailing up, up, up to her tits. Gentle fingers teased her mounds through her top, making the two pairs of eyes glaze over with lust and excitement.

As if their gazes burned holes in her tingling skin, she looked over at her admirers. A sly smile clear on her face as she continued to fondle her tits.

They all knew what would happen tonight, even though they hadn’t said it out loud yet. By the way they had shared lust-filled looks, they knew how the night would end. 

Jisung downed his drink in one go, setting his glass back on the bar as he wiped his mouth. His eyes were still fixated on her sultry-moving body as his hand approached Hyunjin’s shoulder. He clasped his shoulder and nodded. 

The older boy broke out in a sly grin as he looked over at her swaying hips and lust-filled eyes. Jisung walked over to her, her eyes lighting up as she saw him approach her. 

Her hands pull him in as soon as he’s within arm's length of her, her body ignited by his touch alone. 

His hands pulled her closer to his body, as he watched her with a smirk on his face. Then, she felt another pair of hands on her body from behind her. 

She didn’t need to turn around to know whose hands were on her. Hyunjin’s scent infiltrated her senses. 

“Let me show you another way of pleasure, please baby?” Jisung asked her gently, as he leaned closer to her and she felt his hot breath on her ear. “We can show you another way, angel.” 

Hyunjin observed from behind her and pulled her body closer as she nodded at the younger boy. The music was so loud, but both boys could hear her sultry voice clear as day, “Show me.”

She's high (high)

She lives in the sky

Grinding her hips against Hyunjin’s groin, his hands travelled up her body. Roaming around, touching her skin so deliciously, it left a tingling sensation. Her head spinning, she let it fall back on his shoulders. Her neck is now exposed to the two boys wanting to dive in and satisfy her every need.

Jisung stood in front of her, his eyes glued to her exposed neck and how her top showed off her tits just right. Stepping forward, his hands went to her hips, grabbing them and guiding her movements on the older boy’s body. One hand grabbed Jisung’s shoulder, pulling him closer to her until her chest pressed up against his. Her other hand came up to Hyunjin’s hair, pulling at it out of pleasure.

Jisung’s gaze darkened, travelling from her face to her neck, and watched how Hyunjin slowly pressed his plump lips against the exposed skin. A gasp left her lips, as she felt delicious slow kisses on her neck. Her eyes locked with Jisung’s and her hand travelled from his shoulder to his neck, pulling him closer until their mouths ghosted over each other until he finally caved in first and pressed their lips together for a soaring, lustful kiss.

Hyunjin kept kissing her neck, pulling enticing sounds out of the girl in his arms. Now grinding his restrained cock against her ass to the rhythm of the music surrounding them. She let out another erotic gasp, allowing Jisung to slip his tongue into her mouth.

Wet, obscene sounds could be heard from the trio that stood in the dark corner of the club. 

Pulling away from the eager pair, her sultry eyes took in the two breathtaking boys in front of her. Grabbing their hands, she pulled them towards her and made her way through the crowd. 

She stopped in front of a door, kissing Hyunjin first before pulling her puffy lips away and pulling in Jisung. Ghosting her lips over his, a desperate whine left his mouth. Smirking slightly she pushed her lips on his. 

Then she took them both by their hands again and pushed open the door. The dimly lit, small bathroom was empty. She turned around and motioned the boys to come in and close the door. 

Jisung followed her first, Hyunjin trailing behind them and locking the door. Jisung’s lips were already back on hers, as he lifted her and sat her down on the bathroom sink.

Hyunjin quietly walked over to the pair, lost in each other. His eyes took in her body, how it reacted to Jisung’s touches and the sounds she made. 

His heartbeat sped up as the arousal spread in his body, blood rushing to his cock. 

His hands reached out to her as Jisung kissed his way down her body. Hyunjin touched the soft fabric of her top, and Jisung fumbled with her denim skirt. Slowly, Hyunjin pushed down the straps of her top, letting them fall off of her shoulders. Her hazy eyes met his, and a seductive smile formed on her lips. 

Jisung tapped her ass to lift, and he slid her panties down her legs. His boba eyes roamed her body, drinking in every single detail as if she could slip through his fingers.

Both Hyunjin and Jisung felt as if she was their drug, addicted to her taste already, even though she only touched their lips. At this moment, staring at her as if she was the centre of their universe. 

This is exactly how she wanted the two boys tonight. Willing to show her different ways of pleasure.

Tonight, she's satisfied (satisfied)

Rolling back her eyes

Spreading her legs as she was propped up on the bathroom sink, Jisung kneeled in front of her. The sight of her wet cunt bare in front of him made his mouth water. Then, he leaned forward and teased her with soft kisses on her inner thighs. 

A loud whine came from above him, her desperate sounds begging him to do something — anything. He looked up at her through his thick lashes, the dim light of the small bathroom dancing hand in hand with lust in his boba eyes.

Still teasing her, he gave her a featherlight kiss on her aching heat. A soft but erotic gasp escaped her lips and the sound drove him insane. He dove right in and flattened his tongue against her wet cunt, pulling another obscene sound from her chest. Her hands flew to his hair to pull him even closer to her aching core, grinding onto his tongue.

Hyunjin grabbed her face into his hands, forcing her eyes to be on him as Jisung pleasured her with his mouth. His thumb glided over her lips, forcing them to open and wrap around it. Her half-lidded, lust-ridden eyes stared up at him while her tongue swirled around his thumb. 

His cock was already painfully hard but the feeling of her wet mouth around his fingers made him lose his mind.

Her hands were tugging on Jisung’s hair, making him groan out in pleasure against her cunt. The vibrations of his groans added to the pleasure she already felt. She felt his fingers now prodding at her entrance, gathering the wetness of her arousal and his spit with his fingers. Teasingly, he slid between her folds, watching in awe at how her body was reacting to his touch.

Then, he slid one finger into her pussy, feeling her walls immediately clench around his finger. The stretch of his finger already felt amazing, she couldn’t wait until she would feel the stretch of his cock — and Hyunjin’s cock.

She felt Jisung slipping another finger into her pussy, fingering her open. Her eyes rolled back and she kept sucking on Hyunjin’s thumb. Seeing her experience pleasure by getting fingered and eaten out, Hyunjin couldn’t contain himself and his restrained cock any longer.

Pulling his thumb out of his mouth, he pulled her in for a hot, open-mouthed kiss and swallowed all her sweet sounds of ecstasy. “Please let me fill you up, pretty girl,” he moaned against her soft lips. She nodded frantically in response to Hyunjin’s question. 

He made quick work of his pants and boxers, hurrying to push them down far enough so his cock sprang free. Her eyes were glued to his cock, a bead of precum leaking out of the tip. She immediately grabbed his cock in her hands. Pumping it a few times as Hyunjin connected their lips again in a passionate kiss. 

Hyunjin moaned against her lips, her soft hands working on his shaft. Maybe it was because it had been a while for him or maybe it was because of the erotic scene playing out in front of him, but he felt like he could come any second by her touch. 

Entranced Jisung watched her as he still lapped at her cunt, feeling his cock harden at the sight of her kissing Hyunjin and pumping his cock while she got eaten out. Curling his fingers in her pussy, he felt her walls clench down hard on his fingers. She pulled back her lips from Hyunjin’s, a trail of saliva following their lips, as she felt the knot in her stomach tighten more and more. 

Hyunjin needed to slow down and calm his erratic heartbeat and his cock as he wasn’t done with the night yet. As she pulled away from his lips, he gently stopped her hands from stroking him, otherwise he would come already, 

She let out a whine in protest but soon was already lost again in the arousal and pleasure she felt because of Jisung’s mouth and fingers. 

Her moans echoing and bouncing off the walls of the small bathroom, she hung her head against the mirror behind her as she kept chasing the orgasm Jisung was about to pull from her with his fingers and his tongue. 

“Gonna cum on my fingers angel?” Jisung teased her, his fingers still pumping in and out of her and curling just right at that spot. 

She cried out at his words, biting her lower lips so hard she almost drew out blood. 

“Yes, yes— right there Sungie”, her eyes rolled back and her mouth hung open as she felt the knot in her stomach tighten, ready to snap at any moment.

“Come around his fingers princess,” Hyunjin whispered in her ear seductively, as his hands came up to her neck. His large hand wrapped around her exposed throat, his hand tightening just enough to add to the pleasure she already felt. 

Their names spilt out of her lips like a mantra, as her orgasm washed over her, eyes rolled back. 

Her heavy breathing as she came down from her high was heard together with the wet sounds of Jisung still teasing her walls with his fingers and Hyunjin groaning at the sight of her. 

His lips captured hers once more. Jisung gently pulled out his fingers, making her whimper against Hyunjin’s mouth. 

Hyunjin pulled back, breathing heavily as he nudged Jisung to move. Jisung smirked and got up. While maintaining eye contact with her, he licked his fingers clean. 

She moaned out at the sight of Jisung enjoying her taste on his lips and fingers. 

Hyunjin stood between her legs, stroking his cock a few times before positioning himself in front of her wet cunt. Slick with her arousal and Jisung’s saliva, Hyunjin teased her aching hole with the tip of his cock. 

Slightly rubbing up and down, her back walls clenched around nothing. “Please Hyune,” she moaned, begging him to do something. 

Her hips shifted slightly as his hand came up to grab her waist. Holding his cock at the base he gently eased himself into her core. 

Hyunjin closed his eyes and groaned out loud at the feeling of her walls wrapping around his dick. It felt so soft and warm, so heavenly. Her moans reached his ears and he opened his eyes to see her face contorted by a twinge of pain from the size of his dick. 

Even though Jisung prepped her for Hyunjin and his cock, Hyunjin was still bigger than she was used to. 

Halfway in, he pulled out gently before pushing in again. She felt him go a bit deeper and the twinge of pain turned slowly into pleasure. Bottoming out, his other hand came up to her neck and pulled her in for another kiss. 

“Please– fuck, move,” she moaned out against his lips and he was happy to oblige. His hips snapped into her at a brutal pace, one hand holding her soft waist as the other held a firm grip on her neck. 

This position allowed him to pull her back on his cock and watch as his cock disappeared into her tight hole. 

He saw her fingers sneak their way down and she began rubbing tight circles on her clit. 

“Are you gonna cum again princess? Come all over my cock?” Hyunjin’s voice was deep, and sultry and sent another wave of pleasure through her body. 

His cock was hitting the right spots and she felt the tension in her core creep up again. 

“Yes, yes, yes–”, she cried out in ecstasy, her head falling back against the mirror. 

Hyunjin kept his brutal pace and snapped his hips against hers, hitting just the right spot. She moaned out his name over and over again as the pleasure kept building in her core. 

Hyunjin leaned down, kissed her once more and took her lower lip between his. The slight pain of his teeth on her lip made her cry out in pleasure.

“Come for me baby,” Hyunjin gritted out against her lips, and she did. 

Her orgasm hit her hard, seeing white spots in her vision as she closed her eyes tightly and let her head fall back. She kept rubbing furiously as she rode out her orgasm. 

Her body almost went limp as Hyunjin kept fucking her through her orgasm. 

“Good girl,” he kissed her once more. His pace slowed down to sharper thrusts.

Jisung had pulled his pants down and was stroking his cock at the sight of her getting fucked by Hyunjin. Her skirt and panties were discarded on the dirty bathroom floor, and her top was pulled down so her perfect tits were bare.

All the sweet sounds she made went straight to his cock. 

He didn’t know he could be so aroused by seeing her come undone on another man’s cock. 

Her head rolled to the side and her half-ridden, pleasure-filled eyes locked with Jisungs. Her free hand reached out to Jisung, “Please Sungie,” she motioned for him to come closer.

Hyunjin looked over at Jisung, but the younger one was focused on her body and how she responded to Hyunjin’s cock hitting all the right spots.

“You wanna get filled up by Jisung now, princess hm?” She nodded and bit her lip in response, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“Use your words, princess.” He gave another sharp thrust into her sensitive walls. 

“Y-yes, please-” she whimpered out. 

He gave her one last sharp thrust, before pulling out and leaving her aching for more. 

He stepped aside so Jisung could take his place, while Hyunijn wrapped his own hands around his cock. Using her wetness as lube and jerked up and down as he watched her and Jisung. 

Jisung pulled her in for a kiss, a bit softer than how Hyunjin pulled her in. Gliding his tongue over her bottom lip, she gasped as she felt him pick her up. 

He set her down gently and spun her around. Bending her over the small bathroom sink, the action was rougher than how he picked her up. Her face was pressed against the fogged-up mirror. 

Jisung spread her ass cheeks and dropped a glob of saliva from his lips, on top of her used hole. The slightest touch already had her whining and withering around. Her eyes closed and biting her lip. 

Jisung guided his tip inside of her, the feeling of her walls engulfing him almost made him cum on the spot. 

She was getting impatient and tried to back her hips back up onto his cock. 

Jisung shook his head and tutted. “Angel, you have to be patient. Be a good girl.”

The pet name made her cry out, and Jisung slid his cock into her with one motion, bottoming out immediately. 

While Hyunjin’s cock was longer, Jisung’s was thicker. Her pussy got fucked open by Hyunjin but she still felt a slight sting because of the girth of Jisung’s cock. 

Grabbing her hips, he felt her pushing back onto his cock. He groaned out at the feeling of her fucking herself onto his cock. 

His eyes look down at how his cock gets swallowed by her pussy. Her mouth hung open in ecstasy and she felt his hands trail up to her shoulder blades and her neck.

His hands tangled in her hair as he roughly pulled at it, lifting her face from the mirror. Hyunjin stepped closer, still stroking his cock as he wiped the mirror in front of her face. 

“Look at yourself angel, look how pretty you look-” He murmured in her ear as he kissed her neck. “All fucked out,” Another heating kiss on her neck. 

“Cumming so prettily for both of us, doesn’t she?” Hyunjin’s voice seductively asked them both, and Jisung groaned in response. “So pretty.”

Her eyes took in her reflection and she whimpered at the sight of her make-up smeared, mascara under her eyes and lipstick smudged. Her hair was sticking to her face. 

Then her eyes flicked over to Hyunjin’s, locking their eyes as she felt Jisung pound into her aching but sensitive hole. 

“H-harder – please Sung–”, she cried out as she dug her fingers into the sink to hold her steady. 

More than happy to oblige her request, Jisung thrust harder into her wet core. He tugged at her hair again and kissed her shoulders. “Pussy feels s’good angel,” he whined, hot breath on her skin.

Hyunjin felt his orgasm creeping in but tried to hold it off until she came again for them. “Are you gonna cum again princess?” he asked her as she tried to hold herself up against the sink. Her legs wobbling as Jisung kept pounding into her. 

She nodded and let her head fall against the mirror. Whining out, she felt another rush of arousal spread through her body. The feeling kept bubbling and Hyunjin’s words added to the pleasure she felt while Jisung kept fucking her. 

“Shit– fuck, angel,” the words spilt from Jisung’s lips sending the bubbling feeling over the edge. She tried to hold herself up but the feeling of Jisung’s strokes and words was becoming too much. 

“Oh my god-” Flushed and sweaty, she sobbed through the sensitive feeling of her walls clenching around Jisung’s cock.

“I’m gonna cum, where do you want me to cum?” Jisung grunted as he tried to keep his pace steady. 

“Inside – please inside Sungie”, Jisung moaned loudly as he heard her words, his steady pace faltering. With a few more sloppy thrusts, Jisung came loudly, moaning her name as his cum painted her walls. 

The warm, sticky feeling made her moan out in pleasure. Jisung let his head rest on her shoulders and placed a soft kiss there. “Thank you angel.”

Hyunjin couldn’t hold his orgasm at bay any longer, seeing Jisung’s cum dripping out of her pussy as he pulled out with a hiss. 

She turned around and gave him one last kiss before pulling away and locking her eyes with Hyunjin. 

“Now it’s your turn to cum baby,” her voice was sultry, eyes still full of desire and cum was dripping down her legs. But she still went down on her knees and took Hyunjin’s cock in her hands. 

She moved her hand up and down slowly, seeing how Hyunjin watched her every move. She then took him in her mouth, her lips wrapping around the tip of his length. 

A strangled sound left his lips as his hands tangled in her hair to guide her on his shaft. Her hot mouth sucking him in, hallowing her cheeks. Her hand stroked the rest of his length that didn’t fit in her mouth.

“Just like that princess,” his hips moved along with her movements, eyes locked on his. 

“God, you’re gonna make me cum.” He bit his lower lip as she kept sucking him and taking him deeper into her mouth. 

Breathing through her nose, she almost took all of him in. Hyunjin felt his abdomen tighten as he felt her gag slightly on his cock. 

“Are you gonna take it all like a good girl princess?” he chased that feeling in his abdomen, travelling down to his cock. 

One of her hands came up to cup his balls and palm them while she bobbed up and down his length, the other still stroked the rest she couldn’t fit. His hands were still in her hair, he pushed her head down a little harder, which made her moan around his cock. 

The vibration of her moans sent Hyunjin over the edge and spurts of his hot cum painted her throat. And just like promised, she took it and swallowed all of it. 

“Good fuckin’ girl, princess,” Hyunjin gasped out as she released his dick with a pop and smiled up to him. Showing her tongue, she swallowed every last drop he gave her.

Blissed out, silence fell over them as the bass of the club's loud music penetrated through the walls. 

Hyunjin helped her up while Jisung picked up her clothes from the ground. Hyunjin turned on the faucet to wet a piece of toilet paper. With this, he helped her clean her sensitive core. 

Jisung helped her put her denim skirt back on and put her top on right again. 

She still felt like she was on a rosy cloud of dopamine. Her two roommates, both of whom she had wanted for a long time, finally showed her another way she could also get a rush of dopamine without turning to substances.

A dopey smile spread out on her face. Jisung caught her staring at how the two boys gave her some aftercare, even though they were still in the dirty, small bathroom of the club. 

After he adjusted the straps of her top on her shoulders, he leaned in once more to give her a soft peck. “Thank you,” she murmured against his lips. 

“Any time angel, just let me–us know.” Jisung smiled softly as she leaned back with still a blissed-out look on her face. Hyunjin took one of her hands in his and left soft kisses on the back of her hand. 

Both boys were at either side of her, as she spoke up after a minute. “Wanna go home and go again?”

Hyunjin and Jisung looked at each other, words unspoken. 

They would be happy to help her again and again get that temporary fix, a dopamine rush, pleasure. 

Because she just went to heaven and back.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

one of my fav hyune fics omg love this sm ahhh and i felt so seen when reader was a swiftie loll 🥹🫶

off-limits

synopsis: hwang hyunjin was multiple things to you: incredible. god-like. everything. but most of all, he was off-limits. that is, until, you both are forced to share a room at a beach getaway. sounds perfectly romantic, right? except for your fear of the ocean and his recent break-up.

pairing: non-idol!hyunjin x fem!reader

genre: best friends brother trope, one room trope, angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of death, nightmares, graphic description of nearly drowning, eating and food, slightly suggestive, near death experience

please do not read if any of these topics are triggering

word count: 15.4k words

playlist: box in the ocean - alessia cara, swimming pools - francis on my mind, mixtape: time out - stray kids

a/n: guys. my baby is here. this was requested by the wonderful @scarlet789 also, shout out to my bae avi (@stayinlimbo) for letting me scream in her dms. as usual, pls leave your comments and reblog!! they mean everything to me <3

"all these explosive emotions, i'm holding"

Hwang Hyunjin was multiple things to you. Beautiful, heavenly and ethereal were just a few words to describe him. Off-limits, however, was probably the best and most encompassing in this situation. He was your best friend Hyun-jee's brother, and a long time ago, you chose friendship over love.

Hyun-jee and her brother came from an extremely well off family. Hyun-jee's mother was a famous model while her father was the owner of one of the most popular media channels in South Korea. Unlike the stereotypical rich kid, however, Hyun-jee genuinely did want to inherit her father's business someday, eagerly waiting to take over as CEO after his retirement. For now though, she was content with just being the CFO of their overseas subsidiary.

Hyunjin however, was a bit of an enigma when it came to company legacy. Rebellious couldn't be the right word considering his parents never really minded about what he would become (they did have the extremely ambitious to the point of it being slightly terrifying younger daughter). Hyunjin was destined for greatness though. The entire Hwang family was. To your astonishment, even the family dog had his own fanpage.

Hyunjin had cemented himself in the art industry, having gone to a special arts high school and studied painting in Paris for a few years. His artwork sold in the millions, and their relevance was extremely pertinent to everyday life. A part of you marveled about how you even came to become friends with such extraordinary people when you were just the opposite of that, bland and normal.

You first met Hyun-jee in boarding school, you with a scholarship and starry eyes and Hyun-jee with her father's massive paycheck and worldly wisdom that rivaled that of the oldest ahjumma's. It was an international one, meaning that the medium of speaking was almost entirely English. You could have taken Korean as well, of course, but you opted for French instead. That was when you met Hyun-jee, the dorm arrangements being set according to the second language chosen.

Hyun-jee shone as bright as a star but she never made that cover your light. If anything, she amplified it to an incredible degree. Being friends with her wasn't slavery (as popularized by fiction), but instead it was earth-shaking, revolutionary and the most brilliant thing to happen.

Ah, fourteen year old minds.

But really, Hyun-jee was a friend you would always cherish, having been extremely close to her even after graduation. Every first day of school, you two would curl up in the couch of your common room and start telling each other all about your wild summers.

You knew, of course, about Hyun-jee's brother, but she rarely brought him up. He was a slightly sensitive topic in your friendship and you knew why. All you knew was that he liked painting and was a year older than Hyun-jee.

To be completely honest, not only were you Hyun-jee's best friend, you were also probably her first and only close friend. People had a tendency to get close with Hyun-jee just to take advantage of her family. Nine out of ten times, that was girls who wanted to date Hyunjin.

Hyun-jee loved you for being completely unaware about who she was until after you met her. Not being a South Korean native, you had no idea who the Hwang family was. The only member you did personally know was Hwang Hyun-jee, future CEO. Except to you, she was nearly a sister. She was the girl who snorted milk out of her nose while laughing, owned practically a shrine dedicated to Michael B. Jordan and had the most awful bed head. You saw a Hyun-jee that she only showed to two people in this world: you and Hyunjin.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

All that ambiguity was about Hyunjin was about to change however, that junior year of high school. It was the first day of school and you were waiting for Hyun-jee to be dropped off near the school gates. This time though, it wasn't her old driver but someone a lot younger pulling up to the school front.

Hyun-jee opened the door and practically flew into your arms, causing a giggle to arise from your mouths and the both of you slightly stumbling backwards. Behind her, you heard a throat clear.

"Your bags, miss?" came an overly exaggerated tone of what you assumed was a male.

"Oh, piss off Hyunjin," snapped Hyun-jee, straightening her school uniform and letting go of you. She quickly introduced you both to each other. Hyunjin offered his hand and, your brain must have been on autopilot because your hand smoothly grabbed his without a hitch.

Your mind, however, was a mess.

Hyunjin was absolutely gorgeous. You could tell why so many women (and some men) pined over him. His then blonde hair fell into his eyes and he had a literal, a literal twinkle in his eyes. You probably just imagined it, but when your hand grabbed his, you felt a shock coursing through (although in hindsight it was probably just static electricity). He was attractive, yes, but you wouldn't really call it a crush, per se. It was more of a 'hey. you're good looking.' type of situation, not a 'i have envisioned our entire future together pls marry me.' kind of situation.

That was, until, Hyun-jee invited you (well, more forced by her parents to invite you) to spend the summer before senior year at her family's ski resort.

Hyunjin made you feel like you were glowing, like you were the only person in the room. If Hyun-jee amplified your brightness, Hyunjin captured it, understanding you in a way nobody else did.

While Hyun-jee was off skiing and being athletic, you and Hyunjin spent hours locked in the library. Sometimes, you sat in silence. Other times, you talked about everything under the sun, from classical literature and Jane Austen to cat videos and singing to Taylor Swift.

Being a huge bookworm yourself, you adored the concerningly large labyrinth which they called a  library housed in their lodge. Hyunjin would paint on a chair with him and his easel facing you as you would lounge on the sofa, poring over yet another thick, hard bound novel. Then, you would pass that book to Hyunjin, who would also read it, giving you both a topic of conversation.

You were never bitter towards Hyun-jee for leaving you behind with Hyunjin while she took classes and taught classes at the local ice rink and snow hill. She always was better left outside than cooped up inside, unlike you and Hyunjin who were ambiverted to a fault and short-circuited if outdoors for too long.

In fact, you were thankful for it. If Hyun-jee hadn't been gone long enough for you and Hyunjin to have some time together, you never would have experienced falling in love with him. If that is what it was.

Your relationship never blossomed into something more than soft smiles and knowing glances, even the occasional (and never accidental, at least on your part) brush of fingers being constrained and a rare occurrence. Even though you weren't sure if Hyunjin had such feelings towards you, you both knew that there was a line you couldn't cross.

Still, your brain romanticized all of it. Being in love with you best friend's brother, secluded moments in a library... it really was turning into an 'i have found a wedding dress. get a ring. we are already mentally married.' cacophony of feelings. Paired with the snowy backdrop of the mountains and Hyunjin more often than not offering you his hoodie, you were, to put it mildly, in heaven.

"Hey, do you want to make hot chocolate or bake something? I'm not really getting inspiration to paint and..." Hyunjin just waved his arm around, trailing off and looking at you with hopeful eyes.

The lodge had a personal chef who could whip something up at just a sentence. He knew that. You knew that. You grinned at him, "Okay. Let's do it."

The two of you worked your way up to the private kitchen (the shock you felt and finding out they had two kitchens was so comical that Hyun-jee even recorded it). Baking with Hyunjin was terrifying. By the end of it, you had flour all over you, Hyunjin having icing on his cheek. The end result was delicious but very off-putting looking cupcakes.

While Hyunjin busied himself with cleaning, you swiped your thumb across the icing that had laid base on his face (conveniently missing the tissues practically staring at you).

Hyunjin turned his head to look at you in surprise, eyebrows scrunched and cheeks puffed. "I'm sorry," you stammered, "There was icing and-"

"No," he laughed, "It's not that. Your hands are really cold. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping you warm."

A small pout formed on his face as he motioned to take your hands. You obliged and he rubbed them for a bit, humming along to some pop song that was trending. As he was doing so, you nearly bore a hole into the floor with tour eyes, trying (and hopefully succeeding) in hiding the massive blush threatening to creep onto your face.

That night, Hyun-jee asked you nonchalantly, "Is something going on between you and my brother?"

While the question might have seemed like an innocent one, you knew the venom and pain behind it. Your thoughts were only confirmed by her usage of the terminology 'my brother', instead of just his name.

You were laying down on her bed, bile rising in your throat. Love or friendship? The thoughts in your head collided, crashing into each other like a tsunami. Hyun-jee had been there for you your entire time in Korea, caring for you like you were her own blood. Hyunjin had only known you for a few weeks but made you feel like the only girl in the world.

Your conflicting feelings towards both your situations gnawed and twisted at you like a thorn bush, scratchy weeds clawing at you and desperately awaiting respite. All it would take to get rid of that awful feeling would be one sentence of confirmation or otherwise.

Hyun-jee made eye contact with you through the mirror as she brushed her hair. "Well?" she prompted, slightly impatiently.

You rolled over onto your stomach, eyes locked onto hers. "Hm? Sorry I couldn't hear you. Nope, we're just friends, if you can even call it that." You shrugged at her and she shot you a grateful smile, eyes full of relief. Your stomach, on the other hand, was tangled up in knots that felt painfully similar to the knots that had wound their way into your heart.

Hyunjin didn't see you in the library again.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

The irony of your situation, looking back was, well... ironic. Of the three months that you spent with the Hwang family, half of it went in trying to spend as much time with Hyunjin as possible and the other half went in avoiding him at all costs.

You were never a hopeless romantic, not really. You knew what love practically looked like, and that it wasn't perfect. If it was, then the phrase wouldn't be something as harsh as falling in love, would it? However, one thing that you constantly chided yourself about was the importance of first love.

You placed first love on a pedestal higher than anything else. You were extremely meticulous about it though. You were frighteningly determined to experience the most perfect first love one ever could, tailored to your desires. Falling in love with Hyunjin, however, was not part of the plan.

Falling in love with Hyunjin was like breathing. It came so naturally, as if it was always there but couldn't be shaken off as soon as you noticed it. It felt inevitable, it felt like life was giving you another reason to live in the form of a soft-spoken artistic boy who had a penchant for dyeing his hair.

It was so extremely easy too. How could it not be? The way his eyes crinkled in the sides when he smiled and high pitched laugh were sensations that you would pay anything to relive. The way his eyes never left you when you passionately (and sometimes violently) gesticulated about your favorite books, the way he somehow understood what you were communicating his way even without you verbalizing it, made you realize that no one had ever quite made you feel this way.

'This way', being, feeling excited at just the mere thought at knowing that you were inhaling the same air as them. Small firecrackers igniting in your stomach at just the thought of seeing them. Feeling like you would simultaneously combust and drown if you couldn't be with them.

You often lied to yourself though. No, it wasn't love. Just a passing crush, was your mantra, repeated over and over again in your head until you almost believed it. Almost. A passing crush wouldn't entail not being able to concentrate on anything apart from Hyunjin when he was in front of you. A passing crush wouldn't cause you to look at him when he thought you weren't, in an attempt to memorize his features, capture every moment and seal it in an imaginary locket.

The reason why you made yourself think these thoughts were because you were unraveling. The realization that your first love did not love you back, not even a little bit (or so you thought) crashed down all your ideals about romance. The you that existed back then was positive that you would never, ever, love again. If the person you had first fallen in love with couldn't fall in love with you, then how could anyone else?

Of course, compared to your life now, such issues felt trivial. Right? Then why did you still have such a hard time forming romantic attachments? Why was your self-esteem when it came to be loved was in the gallows, rotting in the negatives?

It wasn't Hyunjin's fault, it never was in your head. It was the causation and effect of your own fucked up idolization of falling in love for the first time. You had so profoundly accepted the notion of first love being unforgettable that you only assumed it to be positive, not even thinking about how you would grapple with the situation if it were negative.

Maybe if you did, you would learn and grow from every failed romance that you would have, all up until you found 'the one', even if it was just for that moment. But you didn't. Instead, you had grown such a clawing and deafening fear of rejection that you refused to fall in love at all.

Somedays, the loneliness would get to you. The day Hyun-jee announced to you that she officially had a girlfriend, you were happy, immensely so, but a part of you just... broke. Going to parties and dinners and even just staying in with your friends meant that you had to witness all the small things about love that you would never experience.

Your friends and their significant others were never obvious around you. They weren't constantly touching each other and making comments about their undying love for each other. But even those tiny actions, the little aspects, didn't go unnoticed by you.

The small smile of affection on one's face at anything the other did, an entire conversation passing through just a glance, the featherweight touches that probably had a heavier meaning that you would ever know - all of this was just something you could vicariously experience through the people in love all around you.

Maybe, if you weren't such a coward, you would be in love right now too, instead of wallowing in despair and the trenches of missing out.

On the last day of your stay at the Hwang lodge, you went to the library to see Hyunjin one last time. For seeking some sort of closure? Probably. For seeing Hyunjin one last time and committing his features and mannerisms, anything and everything that made up him to memory? Definitely.

You had pushed the doors open softly, letting out a shaky breath and attempting to still your restless legs. Hyunjin was hard at work behind a large canvas, propped up on a wooden easel. His arm furiously brushed against the canvas, angry strokes slapping against the medium of artwork.

He didn't notice you, continuing his work, until you cleared your throat. "Hi," you said uncertainly. Hyunjin looked at you in perplexation, like a deer caught in headlights. Quickly turning around his easel and regaining his composure, he motioned for you to take a seat on the couch.

You took him in, the light streaming in from the large window bathing him in cold sunlight that glinted off the snow. He looked like he wasn't human. It hit you, the absurdity of it all. If there was one word you would use to describe Hwang Hyunjin, it would be human.

He captured humanity within him in the sweetest form possible. He wasn't the blueprint, not by any means; he could be petty, overly dramatic and had a bit of a temper. But he was kind-hearted, constantly curious and overwhelmingly empathetic. He was so perfectly imperfect that it was incredible to you how someone like him could be a product of society as cruel as this.

"I leave in a few weeks," he said almost ponderingly, breaking a silence that hung between the two of you that was, for the first time, uncomfortable.

"If you want, I can get you something," he enunciated. You knew there were several unsaid words on his end; there were some on yours as well. But you had almost no indication about what they could possibly be, and were itching to know what they were.

"We can't- we can't be friends," you blurted out.

Hyunjin's expression was one of expectation. So he knew this was coming. He sat down next to you and let out a resounding sigh.

"I know. I'll send you something from Paris anyways," he lightly responded, attempting to liven up the mood. You just raised a shoulder and the two of you sat there for what felt like hours. Finally, you got up and made your way to the door. But before that, you stopped.

"Do you mind if I see what you were painting?"

Hesitantly, Hyunjin turned the easel around. You were met with absolutely nothing, just splashes of water all over the canvas.

"Artist's block," he said matter-of-factly.

You nodded as if you understood, even though you didn't and walked out the door with a, "Thank you. I'm sorry."

Head hung in shame, you took a step outside. You were about to step out when a voice called out to you, "It was nice, to pretend. Even if it was just for a while."

You turned to give him a wry smile, "Thank you for making summer fun for me."

He would understand what you told him. You knew he would. But that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. That was the last time you had ever physically seen Hwang Hyunjin, ever spoken to him.

He never sent you anything from Paris.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

While you wished that your relationship with Hyunjin would be one for the romcoms, your relationship with Hyun-jee was definitely one for the situational comedies. The rich girl becoming best friends with the new scholarship student? Cable TV viewer gold.

If you were being completely honest, the first time you met Hyun-jee you did find her a little bit stuck up. The two of you had to end up being friends though. Studying the same language, French, meant that she was your roommate for the four years you would spend at that high school (unbeknown to you then, she would spend another five years as your roommate in university).

Seeing Hyun-jee walk into the dorm room, decked in designer clothes and lugging a large suitcase behind her, was enough to demolish your self-confidence. The sight made you feel extremely self-conscious about your jeans, which were sporting gravy stains, and the mud brown sweater vest which your mother simply insisted you must buy.

All your fear disappeared, however, when one of Hyun-jee's heels (Dior!) caught on the edge of the living room carpet. She collapsed onto it, placing her palms face down to avoid hitting her face. She looked up at you.

"Hi, I'm Hyun-jee. I would shake your hand, but this is the unfortunate circumstance of letting my mother style me for the first day of school."

You laughed and offered her your hand and she held onto it, steadying to her feet. You gave her your name and a once-over to make sure she wasn't hurt. Then when you finally looked into her eyes, the two of you burst into laughter over the farcical situation that had just taken place. You both were wheezing by the end of your solid ten minute fit of laughter, laying on the couch in contorted positions and trying to catch your breath. Her eye caught yours, just setting of another bout of giggles.

You two had been inseparable ever since.

Hyun-jee wasn't as perfect as she was made out to be, and she had no shame in it. If she had the choice, she would go everywhere in her pajamas. She was horrible at Math and made fun of the World History teacher you both shared, convinced he was a Freemason. Hyun-jee was as human as one could get.

Even her parents were quite natural around you, or at least the cookies her mother sent everywhere which she and Hyun-jee baked made it seem that way. Hyun-jee was always sensitive when it came to the topic of her family. She skirted around it when it was a topic of conversation as if it was poison.

It wasn't that she had a bad relationship with them; she adored her family. She just seemed extremely uncomfortable about the topic, so you never really pried, instead regaling her with stories about your two younger sisters, parents and lineage of goldfish with abnormally high mortality rates.

There was moment in your life when you understood the gravity of just how alone people like Hyun-jee was in this world. You had noticed, that despite being extremely well-known and friendly with everyone, Hyun-jee could only call you her friend. On the other hand, you weren't at all as well known as Hyun-jee but had multiple friends.

That moment was at this end of the year party your academy was hosting to celebrate the end of exams. The upperclassmen were planning to go to another location, without teachers for an afterparty, but you had convinced Hyun-jee against attending it. She always had been the risk taker in your friendship.

You were walking around, checking off your social pleasantries. Light shone in the big auditorium and you swished around your floral flock. You caught Hyun-jee rejecting yet another poor guy (too bad he didn't know she was gay), and laughed a little to yourself. Even at fourteen, Hyun-jee had model-like looks. Probably because she inherited them.

You were lost in the moment of it all, entranced by the fact that you were even standing here. Coming to this prestigious international academy was your dream. It would kickstart your scientific career, which, back then, only revolved around discovering something incredible and winning a Nobel Peace Prize.

You came from an extremely mundane family. Middle class, living in a different country in a three bedroom apartment. Both of your parents worked in software engineering, and while you loved them for it, you couldn't help but find it slightly boring. You wanted to do something great, be someone great.

Hyun-jee must have walked over to you at some point in time when you hadn't noticed, because she laced her arms through the crook of your elbow and asked, "What's got you so concentrated, wife?"

Hyun-jee had a habit of jokingly calling you her wife, which you always entertained because why not? She had made it extremely clear that she would never date you, despite being romantically interested in women. "Eh, too nerdy," was her response when you asked why. She wasn't wrong though; if it wasn't for your 'nerdiness', you wouldn't be where you were.

You just shrugged in response to her question and turned to give her a smile. The expression you were met with gave you a bit of a surprise. For once in her life, Hwang Hyun-jee looked serious about something. Her normally mischievous eyes were now set in an unreadable expression.

"What is it?" you asked as the two of you headed to the buffet. Hyun-jee grabbed two plates, one for you and one for her, and proceeded to put a little bit of everything in her plate onto yours, despite you already having taken a lot.

She didn't give you a reply, instead opting to walk towards the table where you two had laid claim. You towed behind obediently, sitting down with a satisfied 'ah!' after having been standing for over an hour. You were digging into your food, relishing the taste of school food that was good for once (okay, that was a lie; your school actually gave you good food but that was only justified considering the insane costs).

"I was trying to figure out a way to say this but..." Hyun-jee's voice faltered.

Your glanced at her, finally looking up from your plate after eating like a starved, ravenous beast. Your eyes slightly widened. Did she not want to be friends with you anymore?

Hyun-jee took a visibly deep breath, "I just wanted to say thank you."

"Thank you for being my friend. I have never really had anyone to call my own. If anybody ever got close to me, it was just to take advantage of me or use me to gain access to my family. Especially when it comes to my brother that I mentioned, remember? Hyunjin. Guys aren't friends with me because they're intimidated by him and girls only become friends with me because they want to date him. All my life I have felt like nothing more than a porcelain doll, only valuable because I held the title of being a Hwang daughter. I was labelled before I was even born, I have had to wear that label, written all over myself with fake pride, even though it sickens me. That was until I met you though. As Disney cliché as it sounds, you not knowing anything about my family and treating me like a normal person has really made me feel seen this past couple of months. Thank you, Y/N, for being my friend. A real one."

Tears began streaming down your face and streaming down her face. Paired with the emotional word vomit that Hyun-jee had just placed before you and both of you being on your menstrual cycles, this was kind of bound to happen.

You reached over to give her hand a squeeze. You were unable to say anything, partly because you were choked up with emotion and mostly because you had stuffed an entire slice of chocolate cake into your mouth while Hyun-jee was in the middle of her monologue.

That was the day that you made sure to make Hyun-jee never feel used, and that started with keeping her family at a seven-foot man's arm's length.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

seven months before.

Needless to say, your friendship with Hyun-jee wasn't always perfect. One topic that often came up during arguments was stepping out of the house. Hyun-jee was naturally more extroverted whereas you preferred the comfort of your home.

You both came up with a plan to alternatively go out and stay in while you both were roommates in college and this practice continued well after Hyun-jee had graduated.

Hyun-jee had dragged you to this upper class, high profile party as her plus one. Her girlfriend was at her parents' home and Hyun-jee simply 'could not go alone or would combust'. Regret at deciding to attend university in Korea was palpable in you (but no where else would you get delicious kimchi).

Beads of sweat clung to your forehead as you surveyed your surroundings. The party was filled with almost-drunk socialites, foreshadowing business deals and gossiping with each other. You rarely attended such events with Hyun-jee; this was her circle, not yours. You always overthought every little interaction that you had with one of them, turning it over in your head millions of times.

Even at such an event taking place at a simple rooftop resto-bar, you spotted the occasional man wearing an entire three piece set and woman rocking an evening gown. You had confirmed with Hyun-jee about what the dress code was multiple times leading up to the event, not ready to lose face in front of such prestigious people. She kept reassuring you that it was 'casual'. Clearly, the upper class' definition of casual and yours were worlds apart.

You were wearing a black, tight crop top, white skirt and white jacket that was currently below your shoulders and in caught in the crook of your elbows. You had already fended off quite a few men approaching you with a look in their eyes which made you quite uncomfortable. Having excused yourself uncountable times using numerous excuses (you had to put use to the skills that you had picked up on as an ambivert), you decided to step out onto the open area to catch some fresh air.

You glanced at the cup in your hand, not knowing where it came from. It definitely looked alcohol though, and you sent a small glare towards the cup while you set it on the first surface that you could fine. You drank sometimes, but today you opted against it. You were going to be driving yourself home and knew that Hyun-jee was going to be wasted, having lost her a few minutes after entering the premises. 

You knew that Hyunjin was there too, and were uneasy at the prospect of seeing him again. After the ski lodge, you never really met him again. He had taken you phone number once while he dropped of you and Hyun-jee snowboarding while you were there at their lodge. You both rarely texted, never going beyond the cordial 'happy birthday's' and exchanging wishes during various holidays. He never questioned why you stopped coming to the library, just giving you an understanding nod when you linked arms with Hyun-jee and looked at him with guilt evident in you eyes.

Deciding to ditch whatever the hell this glorified adult frat party, you made your way to the front door when you caught sight of Hyunjin. He sat near the door, scrolling on his phone. He seemed as uninterested to be here as you were. His hair was black now, slightly wavy at the end. You knew that; of course you knew. You followed him on social media and witnessed his hair evolution, praying for his scalp while you did so.

"Hi Hyunjin," you said hesitantly. Hyunjin glanced at you, surprise evident in his face while his eyes scanned yours, "I was just about to head out. I thought I'd stop by and say hello."

"Oh, you're leaving?" he questioned in a tone of confusion laced with something else. Recognition, maybe. "Call me when you get home, so I know you're safe."

He must have noticed you expression of apprehension, because he quickly added, "So I can let Hyun-jee know when we drive home of course. I think she mentioned that we're driving to our parents house tonight."

You aren't shocked by his request, knowing how protective (and worried to death) he can be, but were taken aback at the fact that he did not want nothing to do with you. "I actually wasn't planning on going home," you told him.

At that, it was Hyunjin's turn to wear an expression of surprise. You drank in his features as you noticed the gears twisting in his head. He was thinking hard about something. Deciding that this was his way of dismissing you, you headed towards the door that led to the stairwell that would take you downstairs. Abruptly appearing beside you was Hyunjin, giving you a small tap on your shoulder.

He offered you a small smile. "Mind if I join you?"

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

Hyunjin was probably at that party because of his presence in the art world. Something about his art always spoke to you, in ways the no other piece of media ever did. You always proudly reminisced about how Hyunjin showed you artwork that summer that he hadn't ever shown anyone else.

His artwork was capable of moving someone without words. You could nearly feel the emotion pouring out of him and onto his canvas. It was like his paintbrush was just an extension of himself. Everything, from the colours he used to the angle of his brushstrokes were calculated measures, all joining in the most radiant harmony of pure artwork.

After a small discussion of where to go, you both decided that it would be best to catch some fresh air and then proceed to go your separate ways. You both walked a little ways down to an old park.

You were still processing the entire situation, marveling at how on earth you managed to keep your cool the entire walk here. You both didn't say a word while on your way to the park, walking in silence. Hyunjin had his hands jammed into his pockets while you played with the strings of your jacket, curling them in and out.

That was when Hyunjin spotted a playset, smack dab in the middle of the aforementioned park.

"Come on," he squealed excitedly, "Let's go on the swing set."

You couldn't help but let out a burst of laughter. No 'hi' or 'how is life', but suggesting swing set antics instead? Gosh, he was so endearing. You both didn't really talk much, just exchanged giggles as you swung as high up as possible. Finally, after around ten minutes of swinging and one rendition of 'I Believe I Can Fly,' you both finally came down.

A part of you still loved him, didn't it?

It was dark, but you didn't really care. You were with Hyunjin and the area was known to be one of the safer, more-family centric parts of the city you lived in. You sat on the grass, knees brought up to your chest. Your arms wrapped around them while you closed your eyes, a small breeze whipping around you. It was strong enough to keep you cool yet gentle enough to not cause your hair to be similar in nature to that of a tornado.

Hyunjin observed you silently, leaning back on the grass with the help of his forearms. His legs were sprawled in front of him and he broke the silence with a casual, "How's life?"

You suppressed the urge to burst out into laughter. Imagine being asked by one of the hottest men you had ever seen, and had objectively been in love with for the longest, ask you 'how's life'. Adding to that, he was asking you the said question after suggesting that you both swing on a swing set.

"Fine, I guess. I'll be submitting my thesis, hopefully by the end of summer and then receive my doctorate," you replied, ignoring the rapid thumping in your chest.

You were not going to be held captive by a high school crush. You were so much better than that. You hadn't physically seen Hyunjin is over five years. He could have changed completely for all you knew. He could have had a girlfriend (which Hyun-jee would have told you about if that was the case, but you never know), maybe even a wife. And yet, that familiar feeling of wanting curled through your bones, engulfing you.

The two of you started talking about your lives, him as a painter and you as a final year PhD student.

"Hmm," he hummed in contemplation to something you had said, "You know, I always liked your company more then Hyun-jee's. Don't tell her though." He had mischievous look in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, eliciting a laugh from within you and bringing back a memory you had forgotten.

You were still slightly awed by the fact that the Hwang Hyun-jee invited you to spend summer with her. At a ski lodge. A fricking ski lodge! The shocking revelation that you could be considered cool enough to hang out with her and her brother were the thoughts in your head as you stared at the copy of Emma in your hands, pretending to read the text.

Beside you, you could hear the steady scratching of pencil against paper, interrupted only by the symphony of an eraser rubbing against the sheet. This little orchestra playing next to you was evidence of Hyunjin's existence, an art in itself if anyone asked you.

"You should teach me French," he asks you out of the blue, "For when if leave to go to Paris."

You look at him inquisitively. He told you that he got accepted into art school in Paris a few days ago. You did feel sad about the fact that he was going, but deep down you knew very well that practically, after this summer your interactions with Hyunjin would be few and far in between.

"You have Hyun-jee, she can teach you. If, that is, you can put up with her," you retort teasingly.

Hyunjin gives you a sly smirk, "That's exactly why I was asking you. I think I'll like your style of teaching better. And so, I want you to please, please, please teach me French."

You had no idea where this sudden newfound confidence to flirt with Hyunjin had bloomed within you but, oh well, you only live once. "Do you want me teaching you, or just me in general?"

"Ah," he said shaking his head regretfully with a smile, "Even though you have only known me for a few weeks, you already know me too well."

Butterflies ignite in your stomach, although you're pretty sure he was just playing along with you. You wonder what he's sketching, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his eyes set in concentration. Even though you have a feeling it isn't, you sincerely hope it's you.

You don't know that your hopeful assumption was true.

A tightening in you chest starts to grow when the topic shifts to love. Earlier, talking to Hyunjin about love used to come as easy walking on your two feet. Now, it just hurts. He asked you if you were seeing someone. You promptly replied in the negative. You asked him if he was seeing someone. He reflected your answer back onto you.

But what did it really mean? You were always going to be bound in this life by that unspoken oath you made to Hyun-jee all those years ago. It wasn't even about love anymore, it was about not breaking another person's trust, a person who you held closer to your heart than most of your family.

You started thinking though. What was the point of hiding your feelings, old or not, from Hyunjin any longer? It wasn't like you could act on it, but you may as well have told him. Maybe then a huge weight from your chest would be released and you wouldn't be shackled by commitments, things you felt you owed to both of them.

"I don't think you know this but," your expression suddenly changed, "I used to have the biggest crush on you that summer."

"Used to?" At this point, Hyunjin is sitting up straight, eyeing you curiously. You roll your eyes and give him a playful slap on his arm. His expression, however, turns into one of regret. You begin to feel remorseful about telling him, paranoia settling in and molding itself into the fabric of who you were.

"That's a shame," he says quietly.

The air changes, charged with something you can't quite place. Hyunjin holds eye contact with you, unsaid words coursing through them. You never really believed in the phrase 'the eye is the window to the soul', but right now, you were terrified of whatever the hell your eyes were revealing to him right now. Hyunjin then proceeds to utter something, something so capable of infusing you with poisoned hope, that it takes your breath away.

"I think I would have loved loving you."

Time has stopped. Feelings of desperation, annihilation and most importantly, temptation, cascade in a whirlpool inside you. It had been years. This was wrong. This was the universe dangling temptation in front of you, urging you to just take a bite. Rebelliously, you wondered, what if you were selfish for one? Why were you feeling this way now?

"I think I would have loved being loved by you," you whisper back. Hyunjin's hand laces through yours and gives it a little squeeze in response.

That is when it dawns on you that Hyunjin is as confined in this matter as you, if not more. Hyun-jee is his sister for God's sake; whatever guilt you felt in wanting him, he must have felt tenfold in wanting you. You know exactly what the little squeeze he gave you signifies: It will pass. If it cannot be, it will cease.

And you know it's true because you and Hyunjin can never be 'us' or 'we' as long as you were present in this reality. You wished there was a universe somewhere, a parallel reality when Hyunjin and you were considered of one breath because to breath you would need him like oxygen.

Judging by his expression, he must have been drifting in thought about that too.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic. Everyone he knew was painfully aware of that. He romanticized love in all it's aspects and yearned for it like a prerequisite for living. His standards were obnoxiously high though, and he had never met anyone even close to reaching them.

The thing was, Hyunjin didn't have high standards when it came to a romantic partner. He had high standards in what to expect during a relationship with said partner. Having never been in love himself, he could only witness it through other's experiences.

Until he had met you.

The first time he had seen you, you seemed unremarkable. Not in a rude way, of course, it was just that nothing about you really stood out to him that way. Hyunjin was a firm advocate of 'love at first sight' not being a logical concept. How on earth could you love someone without intertwining the fibers of being that made you with the strands of life that made them?

But then, when you walked into their hauntingly large ski lodge, your face full of wonder, Hyunjin felt an overwhelming calling of entrapping that moment forever. Your expression was so pure that is caught him off guard. He forgot what it was like to see some genuinely enjoy something. That night, he was sitting on his bed sketching something without any clear intention. The end result bore an uncanny resemblance to you.

Soon enough, the two of you began to spend exponentially increasing amounts of time together. Hyunjin was quite introverted, which was in stark contrast to the rest of his family. His mother used to also like spending her time in a lot, but nearly twenty five years of marriage to his father had definitely worn off on her.

The first time you stumbled into the library, you had audibly gasped. Hyunjin peered up, only his eyes visible, the rest of his face covered by the easel. When he saw that it was you, a small smile broke across his face and he sent you a wave, striking up a conversation with you and inviting you to sit down with him.

Hyunjin even knew exactly when realized that he had fallen in love with you. It was around a month into your three month stay with them. You were on the couch, laying down on your belly and Hyunjin was on a bean bag, munching on popcorn. You had a blanket covering you and a book in your hand, but your eyes stayed on Hyunjin as you both talked.

"I have a question," asked Hyunjin in between his mouthful of popcorn.

You rolled over into a position of sitting, legs crossed underneath you. "Before you ask, my interpretation of the meaning of life is pining for Michael B. Jordan against all odds. Blame Hyun-jee for forcing his movies down my throat and coming to me about her daily rants about how he is the only exception to her sexuality and how she would elope with him in a heartbeat."

Hyunjin shook his head with a laugh and passed you the bowl of popcorn. Having been on the receiving end of the conversation one too many times himself, he could quote Michael B. Jordan's monologue from Black Panther nearly perfectly.

"What I actually wanted to ask was whether or not you're happy with what you plan on studying in the future," Hyunjin asked curiously. You always avoided the topic of this, reiterating your love for Science time and again but always talking about how you planned on taking an English course on the side while in university.

At his question, your face fell a little bit. "Oh, well," you said sadly, "Truthfully, not really. But it's what my parents want me to do. I figured that if I did what they wanted me to do, then my sisters could be given a little more freedom at what they wanted to do."

Hyunjin's lips slightly parted, turning over your words in his head. Your selflessness really hit home, especially when he was so extremely selfish. He suddenly felt like he didn't belong to even be in your presence, and yet cherished it nonetheless.

"I have always been so adamant about becoming an artist that I never thought that it could lead to Hyun-jee potentially thinking that she doesn't have an option other than taking over the company," fell Hyunjin's confession from his lips. His eyes swirled with shame.

"If I'm being honest, she might have felt that way initially, but she truly loves the business Hyunjin," you told him comfortingly.

"You're a good person," he whispered to you softly.

"I'm not," you laughed condescendingly, "I'm really not."

Hyunjin's heart broke when those words flew out of your mouth. He wished he saw yourself at the standard that he did. But his heart pieced back together when he realized that he loved you. The realization dawned upon him when it hit him that your laugh, in no matter which context, seemed to lull him like a siren's call and draw him towards.

Later that day, Hyunjin called up seven of his closest friends to lament about his unfortunate predicament. He had all the textbook symptoms: gazing at you when you didn't notice, making up excuses just to be close to you and turning a fire hydrant reminiscent shade or red whenever he was near you (to the point where you would often end enquiring about his health).

"You are down bad in love," declared Changbin over the phone. Hyunjin decided against telling him that he had self-diagnosed himself before seeking anyone else's consul.

Hyunjin wasn't blind either though. He knew you felt something towards and although he couldn't quite pinpoint whether is bordered on love or like, he was quite content with simply knowing. It was extremely evident to him, in the way you began stuttering when he started flirting with you and the blush that would creep up your neck (albeit less pathetically obvious as his) when his fingers would accidentally or otherwise brush against yours.

He knew though, that blushes and wandering eyes was all your relationship ever could be.

He loved you, but by extension he loved his sister more. The night she came home to him, eyes puffy from crying and making him swear that he would never date one of her friends in the occasion that she ever did make a real one.

In that moment, Hyunjin made an oath encased in salty tears and bruised emotions that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

When you stopped coming to the library to squander away your time with Hyunjin, he knew he should have expected it. If you hadn't initiated the distance, then he would have been the one to do so, knowing it to be imperative when Hyun-jee questioned him on the nature of the both of yours's relationship.

He couldn't create anything, however. It was like your presence was what gave him the patience and creativity to actually go through with fishing a piece of art. He was frightened to death at the prospect of never being able to make something again if you weren't there.

Slowly, he realized that that wasn't actually the case. He could still paint, still draw, because he found love and emotions in so many other places.

Hyunjin found love in the way dewdrops beaded flowers, he found love in the cobblestoned alleyways of Paris and in the steaming mug of Americano he would drink every morning. He came to understand that he could pull inspiration from any love, romantic or otherwise.

But all of them paled in comparison to the love he held for you.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

five months before.

You were lounging in Hyun-jee and her girlfriend, Reina's apartment, which was practically your second home. The three of you went to the same university, one of the most prestigious in Seoul, and were quite a formidable trio. Hyun-jee was studying in business school, you were studying bio-chemistry and Reina was a lawyer in the making.

People had a tendency to stay away from the three of you.

You were sitting cross-legged on the floor of their apartment, back resting against the leather couch. Reina was in the shower and Hyun-jee scrolled on her phone. You gazed at the blank wall, completely zoning out from reality.

"Oh," Hyun-jee said with a small smirk, "Hyunjin is coming over."

You tried to hide your surprise and anticipation. Excitement brewed a sickly solution within you as Hyun-jee caught your eye and sent a wink your way, signaling that she would be teasing her brother mercilessly upon his arrival.

Her grin faltered, however, when she her eyes went to her screen which lit up with yet another text message, presumably from Hyunjin.

"Oh. He's bringing a girl."

At that, you jerked your head up to Hyun-jee's, leaving your task of picking at your nails behind. She just gave you a shrug, indicating that she had no idea about any of this either. You studied Hyun-jee's reaction to this carefully. If anything she seemed unfazed.

Jealousy and anger pooled within you. You wished that it was you who Hyunjin was bringing, which was absolutely absurd because you were already in Hyun-jee's apartment. The girl he was bringing would probably be beautiful. At least, far more than you.

In the events that followed leading up to Hyunjin's arrival, you were halfway here and halfway not. Reina had come out of the shower, Hyun-jee had ordered some food, Reina had put on a movie, Hyun-jee had given her a kiss; everything happened around you presently, but you yourself weren't present.

Oh. He's bringing a girl.

You resorted to biting your lip anxiously, drawing blood even. Ah well. Small problems compared to the things people have to face all over the world on the daily. But it should have been duly noted that your small problems felt gigantic to you.

Sighing and attempting to kill time, you decided to be extremely unproductive and watch a romcom. They really did help make up for the lack of romance in your life (as if). Eventually, however, you got bored and instead switched your screen to watch a zombie movie.

You were sitting on one of the three barstools that lined the marble island countertop. Your hands were propped up on your elbows and you had managed to precariously balance your phone against a jar of strawberry jam.

You heard the doorbell ring amidst the screams coming from your earphones. Quickly stuffing away your phone in your pocket in the name of courtesy, you cupped your chin with your hand.

Reina went to open the door and in waltzed Hyunjin in all his glory followed by, yep, only the most drop dead gorgeous woman you had ever seen.

He quickly made introductions, introducing her as Ellie. You avoided Hyunjin's eyes like the plague as you offered her a smile that you hoped looked genuine because it most certainly was not.

Ellie was extremely sweet. She even brought cookies. Ellie laughed and smiled and made herself feel comfortable. You laughed and smiled and contemplated what life would be like in jail if you committed murder.

You couldn't help it. Jealousy came to you in waves inhibiting your sense of everything and clouding your judgement. You hoped the scowl on your face wasn't obvious as you offered to go bring plates for the pizza in an attempt to excuse yourself from the conversation taking place.

"Oppa," nudged Hyun-jee, "Go help her."

Hyunjin stood up and approached you the way one approached a hungry tiger. His smile was warm and inviting but his eyes reflected well deserved caution. He attempted at making conversation with you but you only answered with nods and hums.

Eventually, he just gave up and sat on a bar stool sprinkling seasoning over the freshly delivered pizza. "I'm surprised you got your girlfriend here," you broke the silence, the snark in your voice painfully audible.

"Why?" Hyunjin's eyes trailed up from his tedious task and surveyed you carefully.

"Well, after our conversation that night..."

Irritation flashed in Hyunjin's eyes. "Not all of us can pine over someone we know we can never be with," he huffed.

You blinked for a second, something suspiciously wet prickling the depths of your eyes. What? To him, this might have been just a casual passing comment. To you, this was venom, seeping into your heart and poisoning it.

"Maybe if I didn't have unreasonably high standards of love, I would be better at holding onto it," you rebutted harshly without even thinking about the consequences of what you had said.

Hyunjin's face wore the undeniable expression of shock. In the heat of the moment, you felt almost angry at him. How could he say something so cruel and not expect you to give a befitting reply in return?

Then, the effect of your entire conversation weighed upon you. Gasping at your insolence, you turned around and felt a drop of water slide down the side of your cheek. You wondered if Hyunjin's eyes became a catchment area for tears the way yours did, pushing violently to be let out in a torrent.

Afterwards, you barely spoke to anyone. Quickly eating a slice of the unfortunately delicious pizza, you cited sickness as a reason to not be a present of the lovely and suicidal thought inducing situation you were stuck in.

Making a mental note to ask Hyun-jee where she ordered the pizza from, you headed home, thinking and over thinking your conversation with Hyunjin. The entire scene replayed in your head multiple times but one thought was annoyingly persistent: You went from loving Hyunjin, to somewhat professing said love for him, to giving him very, very good reason to despise you.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

the day of.

Hyun-jee was finally turning a year older and after spending her last six birthdays in the comfort of only you and Reina, this year she was planning a lavish one week beach getaway. All her closest friends were coming which honestly wasn't a lot: just you, Hyunjin, Reina and one of Hyun-jee's cousin's and her boyfriend.

You hoped that tensions would be alleviated between you and Hyunjin considering that you both hadn't communicated a word to each other since the mini argument you both had five months ago. Surprisingly enough, Hyunjin broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago, after only a short two months of dating.

You gulped in fear at the thought of you and Hyunjin being the only single people on the trip. Mustering up courage nonetheless, you sat in the taxi that was taking you on the way to the resort lobby where you would meet the others.

Sitting in the car, you decided to try and get some more writing for dissertation done. You already had all your research and citations compiled; all you had to do was type it all up and submit it. Hell, you even had your thoughts in order, but every time you opened up that blank document and watched the cursor blinking at you, all your motivation vanished into thin air.

Not wanting to put yourself through any more torture, you decided to open up your phone and scroll aimlessly through social media. The thought of a beach getaway excited you. After working to death's end for the last few months, you knew you had earned a well deserved break.

When the taxi pulled up to the resort, you got out and closed your eyes at the salty breeze that hit your face. You didn't care that the wind blowing around did not, in fact, make your hair look like it was in a shampoo commercial and instead made it look like the individual strands were having a seizure. The cool air was a welcome contrast to the stuffy interior of the airplane and subsequent taxi you had taken to get here.

You walked into the large reception lobby, trying not to gasp at the sight in front of you. Large potted plants lined the walkway with a humongous fountain of an angel in the middle. Golf carts whizzed around you and servers carrying bottles of champagne and rose offered you kind smiles.

Noticing that Hyun-jee and the other's had just arrived then, you raced up to her, lugging your suitcase behind you. Hyun-jee face lit up as soon as she saw you. Throwing her hands around your neck and pulling you in for a hug, the two of you giggled after she stumbled on a stray pebble. Giving everyone else a warm grins and nods, your eyes met Hyunjin and he offered you a tight smile in acknowledgement.

This was going to be a long week.

Hyun-jee walked up to the receptionist to ask for all of yours's rooms. While she was busy with that, you took out your phone and clicked pictures of everything. You never really posted pictures like these (or any in general), rarely ever active on sites like Instagram unless the occasion called for obsessive internet stalking (which you were questionably amazing at). Instead, you sent all these pictures to your sisters, mostly to make them feel jealous because that was a very older sibling-like thing to do.

Snorting at your youngest sister's almost instantaneous response, which was a string of emojis containing mostly eye-roll emojis, you didn't notice Hyun-jee walk back to the group. You noticed the worried expression on her face, taking in her knitted eyebrows. She had been spending a lot of time sorting out the reservation with the receptionist.

"Guys, I'm really sorry but turns out I forgot to reserve the rooms and I'm so sorry and-"

"Breathe, Hyun-jee," Hyunjin cut her off and placed his hand on her right shoulder.

Hyun-jee took a deep breath, the guilt simmering in her eyes. She sneaked a quick glance at you for reassurance and you notedly obliged, shooting her a thumbs up.

Hyun-jee was nothing short of a perfectionist. Lately, she had been spending literal days at her office, wrapping up an important business deal. Always having everything planned, always knowing the exact details of everything was something she prided herself on.

"So- so here's the thing. I have booked three rooms right now which are on the same floor. Two of them have one bedroom and the third-" Hyun-jee slowly glanced at you and Hyunjin, "And the third is one room but with two beds."

Oh, so then you would still be able to stay here. Perfect. Oh. You would have to share a room with Hyunjin.

Hyun-jee looked at the both of you nervously, gauging your reactions. You hadn't told her about your petty little conversation with Hyunjin and assumed that he hadn't either. His eyes widened with shock and met yours, but a wave of understanding passed through the both of you: you would tolerate it because it was Hyun-jee's birthday and she was the priority here.

"Is that okay?" Hyun-jee stuttered softly.

Reina had walked over to Hyun-jee and wrapped her arms around her waist. Hyun-jee's cousin, Byeol, assured her that the arrangement was just fine.

Not wanting to worry Hyun-jee further, Hyunjin hastily replied, "Yes, yes, of course."

You spared him a glance before your eyes went to Hyun-jee's once again, and with a smile you hoped did not look stressed, you added on, "Yep. I mean, it's just a week, isn't it?"

Hyun-jee let out a sigh of relief and reached out to give your hand a squeeze. Absentmindedly, you gave her a distracted smile. Your mind was on other things, Hwang Hyunjin and the prospect of sharing a room with him at the forefront of your long train of thought.

It would be fine, right? After all, there were two beds. And as absurd as the entire situation was, you had read enough romcoms and watched enough Hallmark movies to know that the real problems only began when there was just one bed. Which there wasn't. Unfortunately.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

Hyunjin had graciously offered you to take a shower first. Stripping bare, you felt the lukewarm water hit your skin as you went through the itinerary of the day ahead in your brain again.

1: Lunch at a cute rooftop restaurant that Hyun-jee had (for real this time), reserved.

2: Coming back to the resort get changed into your bathing suits.

3: Fulfilling the 'beach' part of the beach getaway.

4: Sleep, maybe.

5: Bonfire dinner!

You came out of the shower wearing tank tops and jeans shorts, a wet towel in your hand. Hyunjin strewn was on his bed (closer to the door), texting someone, or in his case, multiple someones. You assumed it was a group chat because the screen lit up with a notification numerous times.

The sight of Hyunjin biting his lip to stop himself from bursting out in laughter while wearing nothing but (at least you assumed it was nothing) a bathrobe did things to you that most definitely should not have been done.

For the sake of your sanity, you cleared you throat as a sign of banishing Hyunjin to the shower. He gave you a nod, grabbed his towel, and walked away. You let out a sigh and after hanging your towel on the balcony railing, dramatically fell onto your bed.

Hyunjin hadn't really told you much after you both entered the room. He only offered to let you shower first. You were brushing your hair and humming in partial contentment. You had resulted against washing your hair, knowing you would wash it again after coming back from the beach.

You're Taylor Swift album marathon was rudely, in you humble opinion, interrupted by the sound of a door opening. You were met, however, with an ethereal looking Hwang Hyunjin, fresh out of a shower. Beads of water hung to his neck and the tips of his hair. You were overcoming by an extremely concerning urge to lick them off.

Although Hyunjin was currently very aggressively wiping his hair with his towel, he had a smirk on his face, an obvious indication of him noticing you checking out. You looked away with a cough and a blush. Hyunjin fell onto his bed with an oomf and laid on his back while playing games on his phone.

You decided to break the ice wall erected between the two of you by blurting out, "I'm sorry for what I said that night. You didn't deserve to here any of that."

Hyunjin looked up from his phone in surprise. He studied you for a moment. Hyunjin finally broke the agonizing silence. "Likewise. I genuinely apologize for anything I may have said that night," he hesitated, "Does this mean that we can go back to normal?"

You gave him a small smile and a nod, although you knew just as well as him that there was no 'we' to go back to normal too.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

All throughout lunch, you failed at acknowledging the close proximity between you and Hyunjin. He sat next to you because, who was he to sit with somebody else's significant other? His thigh was pressed against yours and his fingers brushed yours over and over again.

"So, um, I heard about your breakup. How have you been holding up?" you asked. You wanted a gauge on how depressing your de facto roommate would act over the week.

"Oh," he responded nonchalantly, "I never really saw it as a relationship. We just weren't compatible at all."

Your brain processed his words as your eyes trailed the plate of seafood kebabs being brought to your table. You were in the process of eating one when Hyunjin added, "I think I might actually like someone else, and I'm not one for emotional cheating."

It's safe to say that the hot sauce you dipped the kebab in went down the wrong pipe.

After that tantalizingly long endeavor you had just undertaken, you were back in the comfort of your hotel room. You and Hyunjin decided that you would change in the bathroom while he would change in the actual room itself.

You had absolutely no intention of actually getting into the ocean water. It was getting late (yes, you considered three in the afternoon late) and you were not a big fan of swimming, despite having learnt it when you were younger. Your outfit was extremely simple, consisting of a sage green crop top, white long flowy skirt, a pair of sandals and finally a cute tote bag to store your camera, books and other essentials.

Stepping out of the bathroom, you did a little twirl to check if the skirt was spin worthy. Hyunjin watched you with a smile and give you a small clap after you were done. You blushed profusely, his existence somehow (?!) completely slipping from your mind.

"You look beautiful," said Hyunjin kindly with a wide smile.

"So do you," you replied breathlessly.

Hyunjin looked effortlessly attractive in a white button up that was half untucked and loose black pants. The first button was undone and you could see a shark bone necklace perfect encapsulated in the dip of his collarbone.

You were imagining how it would feel to run your fingers along it when Hyunjin asked, "Don't plan on swimming? I know I don't."

"Nope," you replied sheepishly as you both walked out the hotel door, "I actually have a fear of the ocean, as embarrassing as it sounds."

"It isn't embarrassing. I get nightmares about carrots," Hyunjin confessed with a shudder. You snickered at his words.

Hyunjin's hand lightly held your arm and guided you towards the right direction. The feel of his skin on yours completely wiped away your initial mortification at walking in the completely opposite direction.

He dropped your arm as spontaneously as he held it and you both stood awkwardly in the lobby, waiting for Hyun-jee and Reina. Byeol wasn't feeling well (she could come up with a better excuse) so her and her boyfriend went ahead with the decision of staying in.

The four of you walked out the resort in animated chatter. Being more of a listener yourself, you took a backseat as Hyunjin and Hyun-jee wildly gesticulated about work, life and (for some reason) the benefits of chocolate milk. Reina passed you a knowing smile; the two siblings once brought together could not shut up for the life of them.

You noticed Hyun-jee hanging back. She waited for you to catch up to her and said, "I'm sorry about the arrangement. It can't be easy for you."

You looked at her questioningly, "Why wouldn't it be easy?"

"Well, you both don't really know each other that well. To top it all off, Hyune oppa stopped seeing that Ellie girl. He hasn't been moping around much, probably because it only lasted like a month."

Hyun-jee paused and continued in a whisper, "I think she was more into him than he was into her."

You just laugh with a shake of your head and run up to Reina, throwing an arm around her shoulder. Through the corner of your eye, you see Hyunjin observing the three of you with a sad smile. You instantly feel guilt at leaving him out, even though the three of you were close friends long before Hyunjin came into the picture.

When you finally reach the beach, everyone settles into their designated role. Reina and Hyun-jee play volleyball with a bunch of locals while you and Hyunjin retreated under a covered cabana. Hyunjin sat on one side of it, sketching on his sketch pad, while you laid down on the other side, indulging in a mystery thriller.

Old habits really do die hard.

You turned to look at Hyunjin. The expression of concentration on his face was still the same. His hair was longer now though, and locks of it fell into his eyes. You felt the urge to push it away and subconsciously, ended up doing so.

He looked up at you. "Oh, um, your hair, I-" you stammered incoherently.

Hyunjin let out a chuckle. "It's fine. Thank you."

He turned back to his unfinished sketch and you put your book back in your tote bag. Wanting to stretch your legs, you noticed a dock like structure stretching out over the vast expanse of sea. Hyun-jee beckoned you towards her and the two of you set off to take pictures near that dock.

It felt slippery, at first, but eventually, you and Hyun-jee caught your balance. The farther out you went, the deeper was the ocean. The colors all blended to create beautiful hues of blue. They eerily mimicked the same hues that you currently were living in.

Hyun-jee's arms were full of shells, multicolored and all shaped differently. You both were so engrossed in picking at them that you didn't notice that you almost reached the end of the dock. Your sandal got caught on one of the stray nails.

And then you slipped.

And then you fell.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

Funnily enough, the only thought in your mind while you were falling was how the whistling of the wind sounded like that of a tea kettle. You had only heard the sound of a tea kettle once before, at your grandmother's house. Your mom decided to take out the old blue kettle that laid forgotten under the stove and decided to whip up some chamomile tea with it.

What an odd thing to reminisce about.

After what felt like hours, your body hit the water. The screams you were initially hearing were now muffled. Water attacked you, dragging you downwards. You did learn how to swim, but your body felt like it was made up of bricks and lead, not skin and bones.

Instinctively, you closed your eyes and tried to throw your hands up. In an attempt to get an intake of breath, you opened your mouth. What a stupid mistake. Seawater and other substances flooded into your mouth. Bile rose up but you couldn't close your mouth. When you finally could, you were compelled to close it.

You felt your brain separate from your body, as if you were just watching what was happening and weren't present in the situation. All sense of time was gone. You had never felt more helpless and locked out of your body before. Tears streamed down your face, but it didn't matter because all of you was drenched anyways.

You felt your consciousness slip, and felt a peculiar serenity that you had never felt before. You were floating out of your body now, your mind keenly observing the vessel that was once you, flailing about like a fish out of water.

How ironic.

People said that drowning was the worst way to die.

Wait, what? What were you even thinking?

You were dying.

You were dying.

No. No, you couldn't die. There was so much left for you to see, to experience. You wanted a stable job, a family. You wanted to taste what a snickerdoodle cookie was like and wanted to see Olivia Rodrigo in concert. But most of all, you wanted to live.

Life was so beautiful. All the dips and highs and small straight lines made it an endless rollercoaster, yes, but it was a ride you were not ready to get off yet. If you lived after this, you told yourself, you would be selfish and do what you wanted.

You wanted to submit your thesis and and stand on that podium, certificate in hand. You wanted to go on a date with Hyunjin and did not care about whoever objected otherwise. You wanted to be Hyun-jee's bridesmaid when she and Reina got married in San Diego. You wanted to tell your parents you loved them and wanted to watch your sisters grow up.

You wanted, and wanted, and wanted and that was enough to keep you some kind of awake and alert.

You felt a pair of arms around your waist and another hoisting you up. Concerned chatter and sighs of relief were sounds that managed to seep through the thrumming in your ears. Opening your eyes and letting it adjust to the light, you collapsed onto the dock. You threw up whatever was inside of you, feeling someone patting your back.

Somebody helped you stand up, since you were still shaken up by the whole incident. You could see a small crowd on the actual beach and a drenched Reina in front of you. Hyunjin must have been the one holding you up then.

Hyun-jee face was frozen in shock, eyes still glued to the place where you had fallen. When she finally looked up at you, she let out a choked sob, and eventually a torrent of tears fell from her eyes. Watching her cry made you cry, as you were gently tugged back to the beach by Hyunjin.

He sat you down on the edge of the cabana you both had occupied earlier. A lifeguard was rushing over to you, checking vitals and making sure you weren't having any problems with your breath. After you felt like you were in a sober state capable to answer questions, you rattled off responses in a monotonous tone.

"Considering she was in the water for just under a minute," confirmed the lifeguard, "She should be fine."

Worry was still etched on everyone's faces though, frustrating you. You were not okay, and you knew that. Not being okay after such an incident was to be expected of you. But you were not okay in a way that couldn't be helped by them. You had no such severe physical injuries or major repercussions; but mentally?

You weren't quite sure your mind was even yours.

You assured everyone that you were okay over and over again. Hyunjin grabbed a blanket from a kind family also on vacation, offering you some water and hydrated salts as well. After thanking them profusely, you stumbled into the taxi that Hyun-jee had booked. While Hyun-jee and Reina stayed behind to file formalities with the local authorities, Hyunjin volunteered to take you back to the hotel room.

The entire sequences of events left you so dazed, that you couldn't even process what was happening. Sitting in the taxi and reflecting on what happened finally allowed the physical effects of almost drowning to settle deep into your bones.

It started with the shivering, your body uncontrollably shaking. You could feel someone's arms - Hyunjin's - wrap around you and start rubbing your sides. Then came to coughing, your throat parched and desperate for water. Through it all though, your mind stayed fixed at one point.

There was a light. And peace. So much peace it felt nearly unnatural.

You began sobbing. Your head was throbbing and the entire world felt dizzy. Hot tears streamed down your face. You could feel some rubbing circles on your back, hear someone comforting you. But you weren't present in the situation itself. Words blended into white noise and everything hurt.

The entire time, from Hyunjin helping you out of the car to Hyun-jee clearing the way to your hotel room, your brain was on autopilot. It wasn't that you were thinking about something else; you just couldn't think. You wanted silence and quiet.

As soon as Hyunjin closed the door, you slumped against it, dragging Hyunjin down with you. You entire body was still covered in water, but you didn't care. You couldn't even take in complete breaths; the lack of dryness on your skin didn't even occur to you.

Hyunjin put his chin on your head and whispered, "Just breathe. It'll all be over soon."

As your breathing and heart rate slowed, you became distinctly aware of the fact that you were currently covered in dirty water and the pee of aquatic animals. Breaking away from Hyunjin's comforting hold, you let out an incoherent string of words, grabbed the first pair of pajamas you could find, and staggered into the bathroom.

Throwing off your clothes with a newfound urgency to feel dry and clean, you stepped into the shower and let out a tired sigh as soon as the hot droplets hit you repeatedly. It was a startling contrast to the unchanging sensation of cold you were locked in for the past thirty minutes (at least that was what you assumed it was, considering your knowledge of time itself was currently fucked). Feeling your muscles loosening underneath you, you made the blunder of closing you eyes.

As soon as you did, the water now sliding down your naked skin felt all too similar to the water that nearly took your life.

You were drowning again, literally in water and figuratively in despair. You reached out for help, screamed until your voice went hoarse. The light was coming for you, luminescent orbs turning into menacing vessels of death. But nobody came. And the terrifying reality was, nobody would.

Tripping over the shower cubicle, you lunged for your towel and scrubbed your skin until it was red and raw. Even a single drop of water felt like acid on your skin. In you haste to put on your clothes, you forgot to turn the shower on. Mustering your courage, you reached to turn the knob and made sure that no part of your body contacted anything other than a dry surface.

When you teetered over the elevated surface of the bathroom an soon as you opened the door, Hyunjin was already there to steady you.

"I'll dry your hair," he offered.

You nodded, still mum, and sat down on Hyunjin's bed. You noticed that he had changed into a white cotton shirt and gray sweatpants. Hyunjin leaned over to plug in the hairdryer. Coaxing you into turning around, his hands wove through your hair and nearly rocked you to sleep.

"Hyunjin," you whispered deliriously, "I feel safe in your arms."

You must have been really tired because you completely missed his response.

"And I feel safe knowing you are in my arms."

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

After Hyunjin had dried your hair, he helped you onto your bed. You had fallen asleep due to the sheer weight of your exhaustion. Hyunjin promised that he would be in the room, not leaving for a second. Your eyes shut and you slept for almost four hours.

When you woke up, it was late. The sky was no longer colored light blue, but instead shone a dark navy. You turned over your phone on the nightstand.

9:00 PM

"Hyun-jee came over," Hyunjin said.

You turned around to see him watching a drama on his phone. His hair was tussled, as if he had run his hands through it repeatedly. His eyes looked tired and his body looked weary but his smile was like a peek of sunlight on an unreasonably cloudy day.

"She left some noodles for you," he motioned towards the large Styrofoam box on the little coffee table in your room.

You snatched up and hungrily began eating. "Thanks," you said between mouthfuls.

"No problem. You should be thanking Hyun-jee."

"I will."

"Do you want to watch something?"

"Okay."

Hyunjin started a new drama for the both of you to watch. The only sounds in the room were noises from his laptop and your slow chewing. You were grateful that Hyunjin didn't press whenever you replied half heartedly or with one word.

It was such a paradoxical situation, the one you were stuck in. A mere ten hours ago, the thought of him being in close proximity almost drew you to insanity. Now, his steady presence was the only thing keeping you grounded.

Fate truly is fickle.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

You woke up from your slumber with a start, sweat soaking through your clothes and onto your bedsheets. You were breathing heavily, so much that your lungs were hurting. Beside you, you could hear Hyunjin stirring in his sleep.

You chest was constricted and your breathing was shallowed. Ugly tears inched slowly, down your cheeks. Your hands were shaking and your vision was blurry.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," you whispered to Hyunjin in the darkness.

"No," he said firmly, "You clearly aren't. Let me help you. Please."

You gave him a nod, which he probably didn't see in the darkness. Leaning over to turn on the table lamp nestled between the two beds, with a small click, the entire room was eliminated.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes. Sorry for disturbing you."

"Don't be."

Hyunjin started humming something into your hair, making you feel drowsy. Sleep was coming in waves, but you refused to close your eyes. Fighting to keep them open, you tried to place why whatever Hyunjin was humming sounded so familiar. Finally, you realized it.

"Oh my god," you snorted, "Are you humming the Sofia the First theme song right now?"

"Shh," he giggled, "Let me honor Sofia in peace."

You nestled into him more comfortable and felt his head fall onto yours. Slowly, he pulled you down onto the bed.

"Do you mind is I sleep?" he questioned.

"No," you replied, "Just please keep holding me."

He placed a soft kiss on your cheek in response and comfortably placed his head on the crook of your neck. Soon enough, melodious snores (how do even his snores sound attractive?) filled the silence in the room. You could do this forever.

Oh. You could do this forever.

But you didn't have forever. What you had was tantalizingly short in the grand scheme of things. And nearly dying had really put things into perspective. You might not have forever, but you have now. And ideally, now was all you needed.

But what would Hyun-jee think?

Except, did it really matter what she thought? She was your best friend, she had seen pieces of you that you hadn't shown anyone. If anybody would understand, it would be Hyun-jee. You began to question yourself. Was it really Hyun-jee you were scared of, or something else entirely?

Putting the blame on Hyun-jee for stopping yourself from pursuing Hyunjin was so easy. The truth was, you were frightened. Hyun-jee's opinion had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

You were so scared of the consequences after the falling apart of a relationship, that you were hesitant to be in one in the first place. The prospect of heartbreak and it's accompanying nastiness petrified you to the point where you were blind to the beauty of being in a relationship.

Your situation was pathetic really. You were pathetic. It wasn't even a paradoxical situation of unrequited love where you were hopelessly head over heels in love with Hyunjin and he couldn't have cared otherwise. He liked you back, at one point, may even have loved you back.

After tossing and turning, you finally came to one decision you were determined to go through with.

That night, you didn't sleep for two reasons: fear of drowning in the ocean and anticipation to drown in Hyun-jee's.

"Good morning angel," he yawned, "Did you get any sleep?"

"No," you gulped.

"Well that's to bad," he mumbled against you neck.

His hair tickled your face and you began second guessing whether or not you should really do this. Hyunjin blinked once, slowly, as if taking in his surroundings. When he probably realized where he was, he got up with a start.

"Shit, I had no idea I was this close to you. I'm really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable and-"

"I like you," you blurted out. "I like you and I want to date you. I know you like me as well and I love Hyun-jee, but I want to experience loving you."

You looked down shyly as Hyunjin's jaw dropped. He cupped his hand around your cheeks and replied breathlessly, "Oh thank goodness. I would kiss you but you just survived a traumatic event and my breath probably stinks."

You opened you mouth to respond but ended up yawning instead. Hyunjin visibly held back his laughter and you playfully hit his arm.

You gave him a side-eye and he pulled you back into bed again, tickling you in the process. You shoved him and he laughed at you and by the end of it, you were so out of breath and so happy, that a part of you forgot that you very well may not have been here today.

You didn't have forever, but you had Hyunjin and that was enough.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

epilogue.

You put your bags down on the wooden floor with an animated 'oof!' while you once again took in the grandeur of the Hwang family ski lodge. You were back again, invited (this time by Hyunjin) to spend the summer with the Hwangs.

Everything was coming full circle, wasn't it?

Hyunjin's mother approached you with a smile on her face. She pulled you in for a tight hug, her perfume attacking your senses.

"How have you been, my child?" Her hair was pinned up to perfection and her skin was flawless.

"Really good," you told her excitedly, filling her in on all the gossip that was taking place at your university.

She listened to you keenly and once you finished, she told you, "Oh, Hyunjin is in his room, by the way."

She shot you a wink and you felt like you would melt out of embarrassment.

"I didn't know he told you," you said sheepishly.

"He didn't have to," his mother laughed.

Mothers. Their powers were strong enough to make the childhood version of you believe they were psychic.

You bounded up the familiar stairs to Hyunjin's room. Not bothering to knock (what's the worst he could be? naked?), you rushed inside and fell dramatically onto his bed. Hyunjin regarded you with a hint of fear at you sudden entrance.

Turning over on your stomach to face him, you announced with an air of superiority, "I did it."

That could only mean one thing in this context.

Hyunjin's eyes widened. "You did it? You submitted your dissertation?" he asked in awe.

You nodded enthusiastically and brought your face close to his. "I'm yours for the next three months now."

Hyunjin pouted, "I thought you already were mine."

You rolled your eyes at him and pulled him in for a long awaited kiss. It was to no avail however; you both were smiling against each other's lips so much that it wasn't quite a kiss.

Breaking away, you were about to settle in next to Hyunjin when you told him, "It feels weird though. Not having to do anything. Does that make sense?"

"If you say it, it makes sense. And if I happen to think it does not, I will attempt to look at it from your perspective. Regardless of either situation though, I will accept it because I love you, and that to me is what love is. Unwavering dedication and acceptance," Hyunjin replied with ease.

You felt your heart stutter. He was the first to say he loved you, two weeks ago under a dimly lit bookstore you were in. Hyunjin was said he knew the moment you gave him a smile and he realized, it was a smile you only presented in front of him.

"I love you too, dork," you said cheekily.

Hyunjin had shown you shades of love that you could never escape from. Every little action of his encompassed love. From the small smiles he always sent your way to the way he tucked your hair behind your ear and always carried extra rubber bands for you, Hyunjin was love personified

"I'm here!" came the unmistakable voice of Hyun-jee.

You and Hyunjin exchanged a glance. You had decided that it would be best to tell Hyun-jee about the relationship as soon as possible. Hiding your relationship from her for three months seemed like a mammoth endeavor.

After finding Hyun-jee wolfing down cookies in the kitchen and giving her a customary bear hug, you gave her a nervous laugh.

"Wosh? You bosh look like you neesh to chell me shomething."

"Ew," whined Hyunjin, "Chew first."

Hyun-jee swallowed and said, "You both look like you're hiding something from me. You didn't break something I own, right?"

"Actually," you hesitated and Hyunjin gave you a small nod of encouragement, "We did have to tell you something. Hyunjin and I... we have been dating for the last two, two and a half months."

You let out a slow breath, gauging Hyun-jee's reaction. Her eyes widened and her eyebrows knitted. You could see her visibly tensing and take in a shallow intake of breath.

Shock slowly settled into Hyun-jee's features. "How long?"

"Well technically since we were eighteen, but we were scared of your reaction and-" you gave Hyunjin a small kick to his shin. He ruffled your hair back.

"So, you are telling me that you both have liked each other for that long but decided not to do anything about it because you were scared of me?" Hyun-jee marvelled.

"Well, yes-"

"Oh my god," Hyun-jee laughed, "You both are so dense. Do you know how much I have been rooting for this relationship? Hell, I even booked one room for the two of you as soon as I realized that I forgot."

"You did that on purpose?" you were reeling from the revelation.

All of your belief that you would have to choose between friendship of love came crashing down. Relief washed over you and a sob that was lodged in your throat finally found release.

Hyun-jee and you went back and forth until Hyunjin finally put an end to the conversation. "These," he declared picking up the tin of cookies that Hyun-jee was previously snacking on, "Are mine."

He proceeded to run out of the kitchen as Hyun-jee chased him with a spatula, screaming bloody murder. After the siblings finally calmed down, all three of you collapsed onto the large couch in the middle of the lounge. Looking at your friends, your family, made you realize that you were loved.

Maybe, falling in love wasn't so bad. Yes, you fell. You fell hard and soft, you fell with your hands bloodied and the sensation of flying. You fell, but Hyunjin was there to catch you. And as he assured you over and over again, he would always be there to catch you.

Hyunjin laced his hands through yours and gave it a squeeze. This time, it was a promise. A promise of whatever eternity you both had left that would be spent together. A promise to love through the light and the dark.

A promise to be each other's first and last loves.

main taglist (reply to be added) -

@linoalwaysknows @moon0fthenight @hyulino @palindrome969

@squishybinnieee

fic taglist - @scarlet789 @taichoushadowficrec

[ CHERRY POPPER ] H. H.

[ A/N ]: A redo because I refuse to let this account flop!

[ SUMMARY ]: request; “Shy/quiet/innocent/virgin (idc which one) reader texting bsf felix (or whoever you choose) about having a crush on hyunjin, and him seeing it and deciding to do something about it (nsfw?)…” - anonn

[ PLAYLIST ]:

[ WARNINGS ]: NSFW + SMUT + MDNI + PERV HYUNJIN + FEM READER + VIRGIN READER + ORAL

Cherry Popper Hyunjin hardly believes anything Felix says when he's drunk. However, he pays more attention when the younger rambles about you - one of the many friends he’s made in the first year of college. You’ve met him more than once, and despite matching Felix’s hyperactive personality, you seem oddly shy around him. You talk quite a lot, but the instant Hyunjin makes his presence known, you zip your lips and cave in on yourself like the world is swallowing you whole. According to Felix, you’re a homebody by nature, and you never go out unless he drags you by the hand and promises to be a buffer between you and the hazards of socializing with strangers. You’re deeply in love with playing old vinyl records to dance to, read, or sleep. Felix thinks you’re old-fashioned and too old of a soul to understand his modern references and jokes, but Hyunjin envisions you differently. He notices the flutter of your lashes when you look at someone speaking, your patience, and your sweetness. He listens to your giggle when Felix reminds you to stop dazing off randomly, asking what’s on your mind. You nearly tune him out when Hyunjin is around

Cherry Popper Hyunjin admires the blush on your cheeks as a smirk tug at his lips, watching relief wash over your face when he stays silent and diverts Felix’s curiosity elsewhere. You're too adorable not to help out of an awkward situation, and that gracious smile on your face goes straight to his head.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin poured Felix two more glasses of soju, pushing him to the point of drunken oblivion, enduring his endless joking until he slumped on the couch and completely dozed off with his phone lying face down on his chest. Hyunjin debated whether to take it or not, knowing that Felix rarely minded when he or their other shared companions used his phone for a quick search on the internet or to text another acquaintance. However, neither option was on his mind when he finally plucked the device from Felix’s limp hand.

One peek at your messages wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin does more than scan over your texts with Felix. He sits up straighter on the couch, reading them with shameless interest. Your messages paint a wild picture of what you think of him, and he can't get enough of reading it. When Felix brings up Hyunjin, you gush, brushing off his obvious prying to know if you like the older. He stands, restless and buzzing with alcohol-induced energy, as he scans higher into the conversation. He abruptly stops when a particular section catches his eye.

“I mean, yeah, I’m a virgin, but there’s nothing wrong with that, right?..”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin sinks his teeth into his bottom lip harder than he meant to, pants tightening around his crotch as the word echoes in his head.

Virgin virgin virgin…

She’s a fucking virgin…

Cherry Popper Hyunjin shuts his eyes, locking Felix’s phone again before letting a sigh so long his chest burns from the gradual lack of air. No wonder you couldn’t even look him in the eye when he greeted you. It all made sense why you’d keep your legs closed no matter your position. The apparent stares you raked over him when you thought he wasn’t looking had a purpose. He could only begin to imagine what happened in your pretty head when he was around.

Why did those big eyes of yours gloss over so quickly when he spoke to you, barely touched you, paid attention to you?

Did you touch yourself to the thought of him, working yourself up with the fleeting interactions you two had, covering those same pretty fingers he’d feel on his back when you hugged him in your slick?

Hyunjin hoped you did, and he could imagine you doing it for him on command like any desperate and painfully infatuated girl would when their innocent crush spiraled into desire. You just had to be that cutest whore, all alone in your room or wherever you could manage it, pleasuring yourself to keep from making a complete mess in your panties the next time you saw him.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin presses his head back into the nearest wall dragging his consciousness from the fantasies of you and your virgin cunt and into distorted logic. He sets Felix’s phone aside, carefully rising from his seat, double checking that the blonde doesn’t stir awake before snatching the fourth half-full bottle of Soju off the coffee table. One sip numbs his tongue again, and a second steels his overconfidence as he strides down the hall towards Felix’s room. You’ve been asleep there for at least an hour, tired from trying to keep up with either of them in a drinking game and needing to wind down alone before joining them again. Felix believed you, growing childishly but waving you off as you scampered to his room, leering out drunken giggles as he shouted for you not to search for his gaming snacks when you arrived. Hyunjin suspected different of your excuse to leave their company. You couldn’t sit still; you sat between him and Felix, who regularly ended up on the floor, leaving you closer to him instead. Twice, he’d brushed his hand over your thigh. First, by accident, after handing you a bottle to open, and second, on purpose, when you leaned into him in a fit of laughter, Felix droned on about a professor you hated. You barely flinched from his touch, laughter dying down immediately, and your head resting on his shoulder as you stared at him dreamily.

“Am I too close?..”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin noticed your mischievous smile and the wheels turning in your head as you whispered your question. His cheeky smile made it clear that your inquiry was far from innocent, and it seemed like you were successfully breaking down his defenses. Without much thought, he glanced at your lips and, in a calm voice, said, "No. Come a little closer if you want... I don’t bite." It was an invitation, and you seemed poised to accept it until Felix suddenly sat up from the floor. Nervous, you shifted away from Hyunjin, redirecting your attention to the younger member, who was too drunk to notice the blush on your cheeks.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin dwells on the interaction even after you slam Felix’s bedroom door shut, the sound of its lock never echoing from the hall, and he’s grateful to find the doorknob twists in his grasp now.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin shuts the door behind him as quietly as possible, eyes fixed on your sleeping form splayed across the bed. The puffed sleeves of your vintage printed romper sliding off your shoulder, high-waisted jean shorts riding up when you snuggle closer to the covers, and your dark red thigh stockings unmoved despite your tossing and turning. Hyunjin watches, tongue slipping out to catch the taste of alcohol on his lips as he eyes the way your back arches as you huff in restless frustration. It’s been a laughable sight to anyone else: your commitment to comfortably lay in the oddest position, but Hyunjin couldn’t imagine a better advantage for himself. You groan quietly, muttering in your sleep, but not audibly aware of another person moving around the room. The soft clink of a bottle on Felix’s gaming desk is distant. The shuffle of feet nearing the end of his bed was even quieter. And the sound of a belt unbuckling is comparable to white noise in your head. You can’t be bothered to startle awake in the middle of a reoccurring dream, caught up in tracking the details of what a specific cock would feel like plundering your insides, and intoxicated enough to be drooling over the thought with a fulfilled smile etching its way onto your face.

“Hyun…Jin…”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin isn’t startled to hear you moan his name sleepily, partially focused on the noticeable wet patch forming on your shorts, a thin line of arousal dripping from the fabric with every subtle rut of your hips. He glances at your expression, lazily smiling, when you crack an eye-opening in the middle of your deep sleep. You see him through a haze, not entirely sure if he’s real, but too tired to find out and too drunk to stop the giggle that flies from your mouth when his eyes narrow at you playfully. “Dreaming of me?”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin doesn’t expect you to respond, but you do. You give him a nod, eyes fluttering closed again as you mumble into the pillow clutched in your arms. “Can’t help it…”

Cherry Popper, Hyunjin knows you’re halfway conscious when he puts his hands on your hips, fingers pressing into the waistband of your jeans just enough to get a whine out of you before he hooks them under the material and pulls it down your half-cover thighs and completely off to land on the floor at his feet. You do nothing but sigh in relief, feeling the coarse fabric peel away from your naked pussy, shivering when the air sweeps over your wet folds and gasping as the warmth of his hand cups it. Hyunjin chuckles, stunned to see you void of panties, to begin with, and glad to have one more thing out of his way. He wasn’t too far off with his assumption of you being a secretive slut, your slick coating his fingers as they gently glided back and forth across your sex. “T-that feels…so-“ you cut yourself off, whining into the pillow as the rings on his fingers make excellent impressions against your inner folds, the tips of his index brushing right over your clit as if to flick it but never pressing down. He groans, watching your hips begin to roll, tentative and slow, thighs quivering each time his fingers barely slip into your tight entrance.

“Good…I know, sweetheart…I know,” he finishes the phrase for you, eyes lowering to fun dripping down your legs and trickling around his wrist.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin sets his crotch against your raised backside, needing to be as close as humanely possible to you the moment he sinks his middle finger past your soaked folds. You shudder violently, wanting to run from the singular and slow intrusion of one of his fingers as it barely disrupts your untouched hymen. “Sensitive little thing, aren’t you?..” he coos into your ear, wrapping his freed arm around your waist to keep you from entirely collapsing into the bed as you whimper loudly. The pillow you grip muffled the sound, withholding the string of desperate moans you let out, feeling him slide his index in, adding pressure and strain to your tight walls as you clench down on both his fingers. “Too…too m-much…’ mmm,” you whine in defeat, clawing at the covers as he nuzzles his nose behind your ear, a drunken gesture of comfort translating into a chaste kiss you shiver at. “You can take it, baby…you need to, or you’ll never be able to take my whole cock..” Hyunjin feigns disappointment; lips pressed into a frown, which you only glimpse before your eyes roll in pleasure. His fingers curl forward with intent, reaching for unfamiliar nerves in your cunt repeatedly, and you groan as they find their mark several times. “What are you?…H-hyunjin, what are you d-doing?..” you pant, hips buckling against his hand as he plunges his fingers deeper and deeper, exploring your pussy for all it is.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin gets lost in the feeling of your walls swallowing his fingers whole, the ridge of his bulky rings sliding against your insides so quickly he was sure they’d slip off from how wet you’d made them. Your constant writhing and grinding on his hand caused your ass to press back into him consistently. His cock twitched every time, solid against his thigh and unbearably sensitive. Your moans coming quicker, louder, more forcefully as your insides curled with heat worsened his patience. You were so close; he could feel the strain in your cunt building, how sloppy your walls had become around his fingers, cum drenching them and pooling on his palm. You breathed heavily, your head lifted inches from the pillow, your eyes watered, and your lips fell into a dreamy smile.

“More…please…more Hyunie…” you plead quietly, stomach doing flips as your drowsy state shifts into pure joy. “Want more…”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin forgets the idea of seeing you cum on his hand, the effects of drinking for two hours straight and seeing you on all fours, begging, cunt sufficiently spread to his liking all twisting a knot in his gut he knew one way of unraveling. “Fuck this..” he snaps, drawing his hand away, jaw locked to surprise a self-serving smile as he hears you whine pathetically, unwrapping his arm from your waist to pin you on your side. “Hyunie…!” You squeak in surprise, face flushed as you stare up at him in wonder, strands of your hair sticking to your sweaty cheeks. He says nothing to you at first, hands grasping your ankles and pulling until your right leg gingerly rests on his shoulder while the other is pinned to the bed. His nails dig into the cherry red stockings wrapped around your left thigh, hand pressing it firmly against the covers at an angle that leaves your pussy wide open for his view.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin causally glides his right hand into his pants, staring fixed on your awed face as he frees his cock. Seeing the phallic muscle up close and personal, your eyes widen, how it fits perfectly when he runs his hand up and down the slender girth. A low whine tickles your throat, watching him pump the leaking tip, adding to the slick you left on his fingers and trickling down onto his pants when he lets go to grip your right hip. “Mmm…mph…” you shift away from it, a fearful haze in your eyes as he holds you still and nudges the fleshy head of his cock to your puffy and slick folds. “‘ts N-not going to fit-“ you start to protest, a little afraid of having more than his two fingers buried in you.

Dreaming about it and feeling it was a contrast you’d barely begun to conceptualize until now.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin slaps your thigh, a gentle infliction of pain that draws your eyes back up to his face, “If it’s too much, I’ll stop, but…” he trails off, gaze lowering as he presses his hips forward, gently plunging the head of his cock past your folds. You swallow a moan, back arching as he inches in a bit more, hips rocking at a controlled pace, and his voice quiet but steady as he continues, “You’ll try to take all of it for me, yeah? Give me all of your pretty little pussy before anyone else has it like a good girl?..”

You nod eagerly, eyes fluttering, mouth agape as breathy moans fall from it. “Y-yes…Hyunie...”

Cherry Popper Hyunjin exhales heavily, hearing you confess so quickly, eyes stuck on the view of your creamy folds spreading open around his shaft as he sinks into you. A swift gasp leaves you as he fills you up with a solid rut of his hips. The base of his cock firmly placed against your swollen clit, a burning stretch quickly fading in your walls as he barely pulled back before plunging in again, adding an inch to his detachment with every thrust until you could take his cock with minimal resistance.

“So full…” you exhale, damp thighs trembling each time he snaps his hips down into yours. Another coil pulled tight in your stomach the instant his head nudged your sweet spot, every ride of his cock brushing past the sensitive nerves you were beginning to realize could have a mind of their own.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin raises his head, proud to see your eyes clouded over and drool dripping from the corner of your lips. Your breasts beg to slip from your top, nipples perky against the thin cream fabric, and reach a hand to palm one. You arch into his touch more, head pressing back into the pillow, drag your top down to free them both, tossing your leg off his shoulder to fix your posture underneath and give him the freedom to lean over you wholly.

Cherry Popper Hyunjin stops your hands before they reach him, sliding his fingers through yours and pulling your hands above your head as he lowers to your breasts. You didn’t fight him, too caught up in the feeling of his cock bullying it way past your suffocating inner walls. Hyunjin flicks the tip of his tongue over your left nipple, sucking it just once to hear you stumble over a breathless moan. Your legs lock around his waist on instinct from the fleeting friction, eyes half open and distant as you stare at him, speaking in a haze he feels himself slipping into with you as your highs near.

“You’ll always…be my first…Hyunie…”

He smiled, groaning out a response without a second thought, “And your last…”

[ A/N ] Thank Lana Del Rey & Beach Weather for this one.

[ AO3 LINK ]:…. N/A

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

You know life is overrated. I want to be the water bottle in his hand instead… Credits to creator ❤️

「22 Strokes」 · [淫欲]

➥ Hyunjin x Reader (f) — 1.4k (~6 min. read)

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — Explicit sexual content.

The heavy emergency door feels like a dead leaf when you hastily pull on the handle. The rumble of barging into the stairwell quickly recedes and turns into pornographically wet sounds and heavy breathing. 

“Off,” you hiss through your clenched teeth, almost ripping the buttons on his useless cardigan that barely covers anything.

Keep reading

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Cartier pictures dropped when I was having my morning coffee. That's it.

*This is a one shot. There is no part two.

「© 2024, cb97percent · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

So sick and tired of you damn instigators

for all the anti hyunjin fans out there y’all are bringing up the past like him bullying whatever person he was bullying leave him alone, and if he really did bully said person, he is obviously regrets it and is trying to do better to further himself and I don’t get why are so mad at this man he just wants to do what he loves again and if y’all hate hyunjin so much, why are you letting him get under your skin? Why are you searching him up because by you searching him up that’s just getting him richer and richer by you searching hyunjin up so why search him up if you hate him that much leave this man alone he’s not torturing you he’s not bullying you he’s not harassing you leave him alone.

love you bae hyunjin ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ Being in a secret relationship with Hyunjin Headcanons ] -

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader

Warnings: One minor reference to 18 + Themes

Masterlist

- Seeing as Hyun was an idol, you had little choice in the matter of ensuring your relationship remained private, away from the prying eyes of the public

- Obviously, you knew what you’d signed up for, but that didn’t make it any easier on the both of you, especially considering he had to remain single simply so he didn’t lose any of his charm and allure to his doting fans

- But, Hyun’s success was as much a priority for you, so if that meant sneaking around, if you could be with Hyunjin and he could pursue his lifelong dream, it was entirely worth it

- Now, Hyunjin, despite his powerful stage presence and ability to emanate only strength and confidence whilst performing, really is soft, shy and a sweetheart

- As a result, he hadn’t gotten around to sharing your relationship with the boys - they might have been his closest companions and those he’d confide just about anything in, but you were both comfortably wrapped up in the warm beginnings of your relatively new relationship and he wasn’t quite ready to have to share you with his friends just yet

- Were the boys suspicious of the increasing amount of time Hyunjin was spending away from the dorms? Not at first - Hyun always had a believable excuse to share

- (He would practice in the mirror before leaving his bedroom, making sure his voice didn’t shake and he had an answer for each and every possible question that might be asked, even a reason as to why he couldn’t be accompanied)

- The first time Hyunjin brought you to the dorm, it had been pouring with rain and he couldn’t stand to watch you shiver outside for a moment more

- Generally, your dates took the form of wandering the city, nothing to do, but enjoy each other’s company, but on this day, the weather had rolled in and you were forced to take shelter

- It was pure coincidence that the dorm had been empty and Hyun didn’t care where everyone was, but that you were dry and he wouldn’t have to explain the situation

- After he’d forced you to change into his clothes, he’d wrapped you up in a blanket and all was well

- Until I.N. gave the softest knock possible on the door and waited a fraction of a second, before he burst in

- Hyunjin panicked - one tug of the blanket and you were falling onto the floor at the side of his bed, only the blanket to break your fall and muffle the sound of you hitting the ground

- I.N. noted Hyun’s distressed expression and he wondered whether he’d just interrupted Hyun, ahem, taking care of himself

- I.N. himself was so embarrassed at the thought that he backed out of the room just as fast as he’d come in

- Hyun spent the remainder of the evening apologising to you and offering just about anything to make up for the bruise that had developed on your elbow

- Of course you couldn’t possibly be angry with him, in fact, the entire thing was rather amusing, though you did have to stop his constant apologising by initiating a make-out session

- He briefly left his bedroom to inform the group that he wasn’t feeling very well so would be in his room all evening and it wasn’t until 2 AM that the dorm fell quiet and you could sneak out the front door

- After the incident, Hyunjin suggested that you keep your dates away from the dorm like before, so you took it upon yourself to visit a different coffee shop every time you met

- You were queued-up one day and you were leaning into Hyunjin’s side, his arm wrapped around your waist and you quietly talked through the menu, deciding what to get

- At times like this, it almost felt as though he wasn’t an idol, world-famous and the heartthrob of millions, it was just you and him

- Or, so you thought

- Someone called Hyunjin’s name and he immediately shifted away as you both turned to meet whoever was responsible

- It was Han, obviously

- He was moving towards you, his smile nothing short of a grin and almost instinctively, desperate to protect you at all costs, Hyun moved in front of you, allowing you to shelter behind his back

- Neither of you had really discussed your introduction to his group and he wasn’t prepared to launch you into the deep-end

- Han started waffling as soon as he neared, seemingly talking about nothing and everything all in one, Chan slowly came-up behind

- Han seemed not to have even noticed you stood behind Hyun, but Chan met your eye, he simply smiled and stayed silent, knowing that if Hyunjin wanted you to be introduced, he would do it

- Chan’s consideration was short-lived, however, as Han finally caught a glimpse of you over Hyunjin’s shoulder and he suddenly fell away into silence

- To this day, it is impossible to know who blushed hardest - Hyunjin in his embarrassment, Han in his astonishment, or you in your awkwardness

- There was a stalemate between shy boy and shy boy

- The feeling of your hand reaching for Hyun’s, however, was enough to give him the confidence to step aside and let them properly see you

- Seeing that neither Han nor Hyun looked entirely equipped for speech, Chan suggested ordering coffee together as a group

- By the time you found a table for four, Hyunjin was ready to introduce you

- Cue more blushing

- Han was generous, but shy

- Chan welcomed you and expressed his happiness that Hyunjin had found someone, even offering to float the idea of lifting the dating ban to those higher-up

- Afterwards, Hyunjin was exhausted and you invited him to your apartment where a few tears of relief were shed - he was glad that the secret was out because it had been playing on his mind

- Obviously he was chastised for not having told you sooner, but all he had to do was smile and it was entirely forgotten - it finally felt real that he had you, as though meeting the boys and receiving their approval had just about sealed the relationship and he couldn’t be happier