I Dont Know If This Makes Sense - Tumblr Posts

"𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

Yes, and only in myself.

And it's scaring.

Every time I see her, i see her in the back of my mind, loving this mess that i used to be, i feel like i want to try so hard to be enough again, because it's the last thing she saw me do.

That was the last thing.

My last act of love.

My worst act of self love.

My horrific way to beg her to stay.

The worst part is that it was all in vain.

It didn't matter.

It would never matter because I can't go back and do it again for her.

It doesn't matter because it's all i have done.

i could, i would, do much more

If i can

If i could.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪'𝘮 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵.

𝘋𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢.

When I was a child, I thought that I wasn't human and was actually a robot that scientists were experimenting on, trying to pass the Turing test and fool everybody I was human.

Turns out I was just autistic and have poor social skills.

If the TLH gang went ice skating

James and Lucie went so many times with Tessa and Will they’re pretty skilled at it. Impressing Jesse and Cordelia, who both have to learn from the ground up.

Matthew of course is elegant af on ice, but still falls all the time because of his antics, starting squabbles with everyone and racing around recklessly.

No one knows why, but Grace absolutely slays, basically looking like an ice princess. She tries to help Kit even though he struggles, constantly falling over his own feet. He pulls her down by accident at one point and apologises profusely, but she just starts laughing and throws a snowball at him.

Alastair is fucking terrified, but Thomas, who used go go ice skating with his sisters, convinces him to at least try. Alastair doesn’t let go of Thomas for almost the entire time they’re on the ice. Thomas valiantly fights off Matthew for him.

Anna is practiced and elegant, and patiently teaches Kamala, occasionally catching her in her arms whenever she falls.

Lucie and Jesse can’t stop being silly and end up rolling around the ice half the time.

Matthew initiates squabbles with James until they’re both soaking wet and panting, but is at his best gentlemanly behaviour with Cordelia.

Cordelia doesn’t have any practice but puts her mind to mastering it anyways, and she manages to almost outrace James by the end of the night. He wins, but turns around and catches her in his arms at the last second.

seeing another aroace person is like finding the back of your earing in the rug while your dogs are trying to lick your face

Hey I know you've been told this a million times but I think it needs reiteration, you are being groomed. You are 14 years old and exploited. posting stuff like this even if you're an adult regarding stuff your so says is completely over the line. You need to get out of there as quick as you can. Trust me it'll help you in the long run

i can't get myself to read this and just skimmed but i think i know what this is about. so, sorry........i won't do it again...........

i posted thiat becausee i was just in a mood idk.people post personal stuff sometimes , im not much diff.. . . . . .and i don't think that's super horrible because this account is just a little thing that nobody really knows about methonks. like i'll post sometimes but this is really just an account to look at stuff. i don't talk to anyone on here so i won't be takien advantage of. again ueah2sorry won't post anything even remotely related to rape stuffever again 😢

and i saw smthng about 'grooming' so ill just add : proshippers aren't grooming me, my boyfriend isn't grooming me, my friends aren't grooming me, nobody is grooming me. just added all those options bc idfk who you're actually talking about but IM NOT BEONG GROOMED X-D

You’re so cool that you can’t follow people because they’re too busy following you B)

WEEPING WHY CAN'T I FOLLOW PEOPLE??!?!? TUMBLR????

☆☆vent☆☆

i am always feeling super uncomfortable when i read a fic that mentions or revolves around marriage because i was taught since i was super young (so young i was still learning to read) that marriage was a negative thing "never get married" "don't ever get married" seeing everyone argue every day, now marriage to me feels like being trapped and its a little sad that something that others understand as devotion and eternal love means something so horrible to me... i don't know if i will ever be able to look at it fondly, so i don't know if anyone will ever be able to love me deeply, the way people might feel if they get married :///

I am so glad I started this and because of that I am fianlly confident enough to ask stuff off anon and your response with your sona mutating people is such a cool series thingie I love it and all of the mutations are so cool

Does Jellysona sting? Is she a stinging jellyfish?

wellll, if u wanna give it a go....

I do sting lol

Listening to animal crossing music during your commute is a really fascinating feeling. You'll be sitting on the bench waiting for your bus, and then it hits noon and you switch the song to 12 PM. No longer am I looking up at the sky, noting how the blanket of clouds prevents any of the typical soft blue hues from reaching my eyes as I get up to board the bus home. Now I'm on a jolly 12pm jaunt, my steps bouncing ever so slightly as I step onto the bus. And as I wait for my stop, I find myself instead admiring the leaves on the trees as they slowly begin their yearly transformation in the autumn months, rather than the melancholy monochrome pallet blanketing the sky above me.

Music truly can transform a moment in your mind

Ouroboros is a not a different entity type to the rest of the TVA? (Loki season 2)

I haven’t seen anyone on here talk about this specifically so I wanted to hear someone’s opinion on it.

In the first time we meet O.B. Mobius doesn’t remember him. This is portrayed as humour - Mobius gets it wrong when he tries to recite the details of their last meeting, confused glances between Loki and Mobius - but I think it could mean the variant’s memories were wiped and O.B.’s wasn’t. This would mean O.B. was different to the rest of the TVA. This could be through the fact that he was forgotten by HWR, working with him, or just immune to it in a way HWR wasn’t aware of. The fact that the R&A department office (workshop?? I’m not sure what to call it) was so buried away also links to this, as it could mean he is hidden somehow.

I don’t know this factor could be useful to them in eps 5&6, but maybe he is used to remind Mobius of his entire time at the TVA. If anyone has any other ideas or evidence against/ for this theory I would love to hear it! I haven’t really developed this idea a lot myself.

Camp Jupiter Reimagined

(It took me the uppermost(?) of two days to write this because of school-)

In the last post I was ranting in I mentioned a lot of a project I was doing to Re-Imagine Camp Jupiter (and maybe share my re-imagining of the whole PJO concept and the characters- does that qualify as an AU? Maybe, I don’t know. But I like the world and I like being able to branch off existing concepts and make my own interpretations).

Some set dressing before I get into this; I love Camp Jupiter and the greater PJO franchise and world-building. It’s pretty well-done in my opinion, and it’s how Rome became one of my special interests (or maybe it just added to my greater Greco-Roman world interest and I just really like Rome) *But* how Camp Jupiter and New Rome is done just kind of feels a little underwhelming. It’s super cool and a great concept, and it fits. But I feel like New Rome and Camp Jupiter weren’t really thought out, just kind of happened and then we all just accepted it. Now; I’ll probably update some opinions when I read ToA (I’m currently reading the Iliad, Odyssey, and Aeneid beforehand) but characterization doesn’t feel consistent to what is told before. There are things I don’t see happening; like an example being the legion being shrunk to 5 cohorts (Roman legions had 10). While that is for plot reasons to not make Camp and the Legion huge for reasons. We are told that Romans dislike change to the point they had a *mutiny* over a *name change* for the legion. But I have to hold my disbelief that they would *get rid of 5 cohorts*! So I decided that I would just Re-Imagine Camp Jupiter (and the Campers, and down the line PJO in general). So uh; here is some of the things I’ve defined in my brain for my re-imagination of the Camp/legion,

things, all the things,

I added back the 5 removed cohorts; HOWEVER, what I chose to do that made sense in my brain was make cohorts 6-10, *outposts* or Roman settlements around the Americas. They are mainly used in my mind for scouting, expanding the glory of the New Roman Republic (not a Empire for now, maybe a future fanfic, idk). But they’re there to scout out areas, help transport demigods across borders to the main camp, etc.

Along with that I decided they all had SETTLEMENTS (little tiny towns) that had thematic naming to it (still deciding on that)

Speaking of which; the outposts aren’t really respected; at least not how like the main 5 are respected. Sure they do important things, but no one takes them *as* seriously

They also act as reinforcements (auxiliary troops?) but I’d assume it would go; main 5 cohorts, 5 outposts, and then the veterans. In how they are called upon.

Maybe there is some conflict on the leaders (the Consuls? I think, I’m writing this while still doing research and while everything is still in the primordial soup stage) of the outposts divided on helping Octavian or if he didn’t assume power correctly and therefore wasn’t the leader of the legion.

It adds a sense of more overwhelming dread to facing Camp Jupiter in the big battle (which; I will be kind of mixing up) because in my idea it’s a bigger body of groups. We get a more ominous build-up of slowly watching and having to just hear or see in visions more cohorts (which the outposts are smaller than the main cohorts; I figure that’s also important) slowly congealing together with very shaky loyalty to Octavian. Being slightly disjointed from each other and the main cohorts.

Along with that; if I do like re-imagine HoO (which; would mostly be character work in my opinion, I don’t have *too* many qualms with the plot. I’ll probably say more when I get around to that). But if I do re-imagine and like half edit-half fanfic through the books I would love to include a Camp Jupiter POV in at least from MoA onwards, but that’s random here uhhh cohorts-

I’ve sort-of re-categorized the Cohorts (might also take some inspiration from what we know of the legions that share the same number in personality, if that makes sense?)

But each Cohort gets a sort of more defined personality to each other rather than the sort of muddled greater characterization we have for the groups in canon. (I’ll probably have another post that goes more in-depth on the ‘personalities’ of the cohorts)

Main 5 cohorts

First Cohort; I decided that this was going to be a very selective group in who gets accepted into the Cohort. I decided that along with a minimum of 2 letters of recommendation, legionnaires have to show some outstanding quality to them that the first Cohort wants (this takes from the ‘elite troop’ idea with the first *legion* and I needed a way to differentiate the 1st and 2nd, while this also plays off of all the 1st cohort legionnaires being said they had *something* special about them; Octavian and his talking stuff and prophecy, and Michael Kahale for uh, football and being giant? I’ll workshop it) while this of course means the 1st cohort is on the smaller side; they make up for it in general prowess and ability. On the rarest of rare occasions (like Jason, or maybe even Percy for my re-imagining) the first cohort will try and request recruits to join their legion (there’s probably a technical term, but basically what Dakota did for Percy in SoN; I’ll have to re-read HoO) but this isn’t a very common occurrence.

Second Cohort; I really like my concept of the Second cohort because it just really amuses me- simply put, their the rejects from the first cohort. Snobby kids who had good letters of Recommendation and were looking to ride off the coattails of their relatives. They are the ones with recommendation letters but nothing too crazy and special about them that makes it reasonable for the 1st Cohort to want them.

Third cohort; I decided on a whim that the third cohort would be the kids that are SUPER into the fighting parts of Camp; training? They’re down, the War Games? they want to win, they will win. They aren’t too into the political side of camp, they mostly are there for protecting their home.

Fourth Cohort; the fourth cohort is the one I have been purposely putting off characterizing Specifically because of the Camp Jupiter classified book where the protag is 4th cohort and I want to read that before making my conclusions. But if anyone currently were to ask me, they’re the trouble makers :]

Fifth Cohort; I kept the characterization of the Fifth cohort being the ‘rejects’. The unwanteds, however I decided to include the fifth cohort taking in legionnaires that had to get transferred cohorts. They are the largest cohort and there is a very varying personality to the cohort but the general idea is ‘Everyone doesn’t like us but hey, at least we can hold a sword :]’

Five outpost cohorts

My fan created cohorts based on concepts I discussed earlier on in this post :]

I chose in these to keep them relatively away from any important areas that are in the books (why Cohort six isn’t close to someplace like Quebec, or why the Eight cohort isn’t on an Puerto Rico or an island super close to Puerto Rico)

On that note; let it be known that these Outpost Cohorts also do help find legionnaires (i mention it in some of the descriptions for the cohorts)

These cohorts are much, much more rough around the edges currently because I’m still in the primordial soup and research stage; these are the roughest concepts for these Cohorts. I will first then out more… hopefully.

Cohort Six; the sixth cohort i decided would currently be stationed in Canada (I decided it would be in Canada so I could have a Frank tie-in and because I needed one in the north that wasn’t in Alaska) I also currently have the outpost at Great Bear Lake; close to Port Radium and Cameron Bay; though that might change. While the cohort is there with the Settlement New Britannia (name may be subject to change)

Seventh Cohort; The Seventh Cohort, which is considered the ‘best’ out of the outpost cohorts, located at the Sierra de pénjamo mountains in Mexico; along with the ‘New Hispania’ settlement. They deal with a lot of monster outbreaks along the equator.

Eighth Cohort; located on the Inagua Islands (I chose the larger one with Lake Rosa though might be changed) unlike the Seventh; the Eighth is the outcast of the legion; being the legions big naval force that deal with the islands on the east of South America, settlement possibly called ‘New Hispania Balearica’

Words about the ninth and tenth cohort; I had a sub the day I was working on their notebook pages so I don’t have very set locations for them.

Ninth Cohort; located in, somewhere Brazil. Meant to scout the eastern side of South America not including the islands

Tenth cohort; The tenth cohort is located in somewhere, Argentina. Does what Ninth does but just for the west side of South America

——————

Aaaaaaah, so sorry for the drop in quality at the last two but I’ve been writing this for like 2-3 days, I’ll write more about (probably Octavian) and my Camp re-imagining