Incorrect Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery - Tumblr Posts
Harry: Come on, let's go
Draco: I can't go outside
Draco: I'm allergic to social situations
Lily: Fuck you my child is completely fine Everyone: Your child is litterally obsessing over his enemy who has daddy issues
Harry: How far do you have to a stick Q-tip in your ear before it caused permanent brain damage? Draco: Remind me again, why did I marry you?
Harry: I'm gonna get a dog thats a that's a cross between a bulldog and a shitzu and I'm gonna call it bullshi-
Draco: nO
Draco: life is a baseball bat Harry: and I'm the piñata
Draco: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Harry: In my defense, Ron bet me I couldn't drink all that shampoo
Draco: That's not what I wanted- you drank shampoo?
Harry: What?
Harry: No.
Draco: How long does it take to start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?
Hermione: I think-
Harry: 72 hours
Draco: How do you-
Harry: There's a dragon behind you
Draco: Sentiment is weakness
Pansy: You're literally making a valentines day card for Harry
Draco: I don't remember asking for your opinion
Ron: Are you fucking with me?
Harry: Actually, I'm fucking with Draco
Harry: Oh, you meant-
Ron: WHAT?
Harry: We all have our demons
Harry: *puts his hand on Draco's shoulder*
Harry: This one's mine
Draco: Yes I looked both ways before crossing the road
Draco: I looked both gorgeous and radiant
Harry: Too bad you got hit by a bus
Ron: Why are you on the floor?
Harry: I'm depressed
Harry: Also, I was stabbed can you get Draco please?
Draco: Harry has been staring at the window since the storm started
Draco: Maybe I should let him in
Harry: There's a snake outside
Draco, banging on the door: LET ME IN
Draco: I'll buy myself one of those black bath bombs so I can dramatically emerge from the water like I'm rising from hell
Harry:
Draco: Harry, I'm just gonna go pour myself a bowl of cereal
Draco: I'm going to be in that room next door, ok?
Harry: Okay
Draco: Don't do anything stupid
Harry: Alright
Harry, immediately after Draco leaves: Now seems like a good time to see how long can I dangle from windowsill with one hand
Draco: You're on a speakerphone, behave
Harry: Or what? You'll spank me?
Draco, on a meeting with half of the ministry:
Draco, reading Harry's diary: Dear diary, today was the first time I kissed Shelly
Draco: Aww, how adorable
Harry: Shelly was my turtle
Harry: Nobody ever liked me before Hogwarts, I had no friends, I was always alone
Draco: ...
Draco: Ha! You kissed a turtle
Draco: I have high standards
Harry, drunk af: Do you think pigs would get offended if we called them human?
Draco, pointing at Harry: And he meets all of them
Draco: *insults Harry*
Harry: Why do I even hang around you?
Draco: Because you're gay
Harry: And what does that make you?
Draco: Attractive