Incorrect Nct Quotes - Tumblr Posts
nct as things said by my friends (pt.ii)
taeil: why does my cat smell like jam donuts?
johnny: [accidently deep throats a pasta fork]
taeyong: who’s that? because he makes me think i’m a bisexual.
yuta: my child will be one risen from the ashes of my enemies.
kun: i didn’t want to talk about excrements at nine o’clock on a friday morning, but here i am.
doyoung: [on a plane] i have to sit in a floating tin can for two and half hours with him.
ten: i wouldn’t recommend the hotel soap, guys. it makes you sticky, and not in the good way.
jaehyun: it took me 16 years to realize american wasn’t a language.
winwin: you’re blind now, but watch, in a few years i will be the supreme leader.
jungwoo: i sneeze gold, fuckers.
lucas: i’m wearing all black for prom. who’s funeral is it, you ask? my own. say goodbye to my past self. someone dangerous is coming.
mark: does a dui count if i was high on cheetos?
renjun: i’d drop you all if i weren’t also such a loser.
jeno: you all know i only sound smart because i recite what i hear on criminal minds!
haechan: yeah, you can have my number. it’s 0-800-fuck you.
jaemin: he asked me, “what’s one cat plus two cat?” and i said, “there’s a cat!?”
chenle: the real question is: fellas, is it straight?
jisung: here’s the plan, i push you down the stairs–
Jisung: What the fuck are you doing?
Renjun: I’m letting my body run free!
Jisung: Well can you put it on a leash? Thanks.
Mark: *internally panicking*
Jaemin: Yo Mark, are you okay?
Mark: Yeah, I’m just trying to remember if I left the stove on...
*back at the dorms*
Kun: *smells smoke*
Kun: Dammit Mark!
Haechan: If I put hot sauce on this does it make it healthy?
Jaehyun: Umm I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.
Haechan: *looking at bottle* Well I don’t see any nutritional facts, therefore it’s healthy sooooo...
Haechan: *pours a shit ton of hot sauce on his food*
Jaehyun: ...Why do I even try?
*Getting ready for a performance*
Yuta: Okay guys, how do I look?
Jisung: *staring at his phone* With your eyes dude
Ten: *practicing choreo* Using your peripheral vision
Doyoung: Guys I think he’s talking about his outfit...
Johhny: *slams dressing room door open* THIS IS JOHNNY’S FASHION EVALUATION
This is a very Haechan thing to say 🤣
Jeno: If I were a gardener - I’d put our tu-lips together!
Jaemin: *blushing*
Haechan: If I were a gardener - you’d be my hoe!
Mark: … thanks.
*johnny & mark dancing to communicate*
Mark *breakdancing gently*: i’m sorry, your pet fish is dead
Johnny *twerking*: oh no… how could this have happened
Mark *moonwalking*: it drowned, it was quick and painless
Taeyong: *slowly backs out of room*
Lucas: you know what, jungwoo, you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the internet.
Jungwoo: why? :(
Lucas: coz not everything is true.
Jungwoo: *with teary eyes* what? so there aren’t any beautiful singles in my area wanting to see me?
Lucas: There is! It’s me.
Jungwoo: See? The internet didn’t lie to me! :D
Lucas: Jungwoo, no-
Jisung: *drops mug, it breaks* fuck.
*crashes and banging from the other side of the room*
Jisung: oh no.
*Taeyong crashes to the door*
Taeyong: what the frick frack tic tac patty wack snick snack quarterback big mac heart attack race track double guy named jack did you just say?????
Ten, going to NCT Vision's dorms: I had the best time tonight with Johnny. He spells his name with a y. Why? Because he's cute!
Donghyuck: My whole life I've only dreamed of two things. One is becoming a famous singer.
Mark: What's the other?
Donghyuck: *pictures him and Mark getting married*
Donghyuck: Having sex with a woman.
Jisung: I find that not killing people is very easy
Renjun: Well we all have our dry spells kid
Renjun: maybe we can go get brunch or something
Haechan: I can't get brunch I'm getting brunch with Mark
Renjun: Is that a date?
Haechan: No it's not a date but I am having brunch with Mark, who I am indeed in love with.
Renjun: Isn't he straight?
Haechan: He is, he's so deeply straight and I'm so deeply in love with him and every time I'm with him I just envision us kissing and holding each other and looking into each other's eyes and being like "You're perfect."
Renjun: Well that's how all relationships start out.
Johnny: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Mark: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Johnny: Yup, they’re all birds.
Jaehyun: When I said “Bring me back something from the beach,” I meant like a seashell.
Johnny: *struggling to hold onto a seagull* Well you didn’t fucking say that.
Random mugger: *points gun at Chenle* Give me your money!
Chenle: *holds up an uno reverse card* No, give me your money.
Mugger: Wtf
Chenle: *runs away*
*later to Doyoung*
Chenle: And that’s how I avoided getting mugged
Doyoung:
Doyoung: From the bottom of my heart, what the fuck, Chenle?
Johnny: So, I said to myself: Kyle-
Jaehyun: Wait, Kyle?
Johnny: Yeah, that’s just what I call myself.
Lucas: I’m a firm believer in “if you’re going to fail, fail spectacularly.”
Taeyong: If you bite it and you die, then it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Mark: What if it bites me and it dies?
Doyoung: Then you’re poisonous, you idiot.
Lucas: What if it bites itself and it dies?
Taeyong: That’s voodoo.
Chenle: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Taeil: That’s correlation, not causation.
Johnny: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Ten: That’s kinky ;)