January 2024 - Tumblr Posts

Can't Drink Wine, But Can Whine

Summer is extremely uncomfortable for me. For some reason I can't handle the heat at all this year, not like last year. This might be because of the mysterious health problem I've developed over the past 6 or so months.

I'm lucky enough to have an air con in my room, but good god do I need one for the office. My bedroom is way too cramped to fit a desk in there, and my air con is too big to drag out anywhere else. Yes, first world problems. But still, it's hot as all hell, even with a fan pointed at me.

Also I hate not having an ergonomic chair. My back constantly hurts and it just adds to the discomfort.

Currently saving up for an air conditioner for the office and an ergonomic chair, but it's very slow because I'm a broke uni student and have to pay for expensive health insurance that I absolutely need for personal reasons I don't want to share. That, rent, food, and wifi suck up pretty much all of my money. Hence why I'm trying to start up an Etsy/Gumroad business and do content creation on the side. I'm starting off with clip compilations, but I might branch off into tutorials and gaming content with voice over. I'm very insecure about my tics, though. But for some reason I'm not afraid of creating things on YouTube anymore, so long as I don't show my face. It's not like people can hate me when I have 0 views. I've got nothing to lose, so long as people don't know who I am.

Anyhow, I can't live anywhere cheaper because of the rental crisis (there's literally nowhere available). I'm honestly lucky I'm not living under a bridge.

Overall, I'm extremely uncomfortable, and my sensory issues just make it a hell of a lot worse. Plus my disability makes things a lot worse, too. It could be worse, it could always be worse, but sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in my own personal hell. The only things that make me feel better is friends, the few family members I get along with, good food, animals, and the topics I'm endlessly passionate about that I keep switching between. These are the things that are literally keeping me alive. They make my life worth living.

I generally believe life is 50% hell 50% heaven. I feel that I've been through most of the hell, so surely things will start to get better soon. Life doesn't feel like it's in motion yet, but I'm sure it will when uni holidays are over. I just feel frozen in time, yet I'm also aware of every passing second getting closer to death.

I'm unfulfilled, incomplete, a work in progress. I feel like an unfinished painting, but I am the painter. I can't let myself slip away like I sometimes want to, not now, not ever, not until I've done what I've set out to do.

I'm a very motivated person, but my consistency is spread out. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it means I can develop a few skills to a high level, just not one skill at a time. One skill at a time would be more efficient, but I don't operate that way. My neurodivergent brain won't allow it. I'm extremely creative because of it, though. Honestly if I could choose to be different, I don't think I would.

My memory issues are terrible, though. I don't remember most people from a year ago or longer, unless they traumatised me in some way, and even then, I only sometimes remember. I just remember how they made me feel. I remember to stay away from them. That's for the best, I'd say.

Honestly, I don't remember what happened almost at all if it's longer than a month ago, unless I'm in a certain frame of mind that remembers it. It's complicated. Really, I struggle to remember yesterday. I mostly live in today, with a little bit of yesterday, and flickers of the recent past. I know facts about myself, I even know things happened sometimes, but I lack the memories of them. They're just blank, empty. I don't think I'm supposed to know. If I remembered how much I suffer on a daily basis I think I'd have a breakdown and give up on life. In a way, I'm very lucky that I don't.

My dream messenger is a gigantic crow with shiny black feathers, and he's told me that sometimes losing things is for the best. I'm inclined to believe him.

I wish you all a peaceful and a joyful year!

May we all have more sex, better sex and lots of dreams 💦

XO

Welcome 2024

#Christmas cake

Voltei 😍

Today is my birthday yall!!

January 2024 Destiel Fic Recs

Here are some of my favourite Destiel fics posted in January 2024. The point of this rec list is to shine light on some new fics that otherwise might go drowing in the ocean of Destiel fics on ao3.

cure of all, this fruit divine by hurtygurdyman

Father, I am sorry my nature does not come easily to me. I know neither how I was made nor why I feel so alone.Cas draws a line in the soil that will one day become the Mississippi River. He looks up at God with a feeling in his gut he doesn’t want to name. spnflash day 4: envy.

This one is very short and poetic. (868 words)

i'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet by 13zepptraxx

“Thanks,” he whispers still, allowing Castiel’s hand to reside on the side of his face. He could shrug it away, and he knows he probably should, because right now he and Cas are tiptoeing along a line set a long time ago, one that they both silently agreed they should never cross. Across this line is uncharted waters, unknown consequences, no semblance of what will become; but it’s important to note that Dean wants to cross that line, all the time, every single day. He yearns so badly for it; so he’s taking this moment, this blurring of the line. Tomorrow they can go back to only looking at one another when the other is looking elsewhere, and stealing touches in the form of healing or in a quick pat on the shoulder that turns into a balled fist as they walk away. Tonight, Dean will allow himself to be weak.

Everything about this fic is just perfect. The fucking hours I spend going through every fic posted in january were worth it just for this one, honestly. (1,642 words)

What a Brave Little Ant You Are by withthekeyisking

The first time man-in-charge Cas shows up at Bobby's place, Dean promptly flips the fuck out and shoots him.By the fourth time, Dean doesn't bother reaching for his gun.

Season 7 godstiel, very interesting dynamic. (2,320 words)

Baker Company Pie by S1nging_Y0u_S0ftly

Castiel remembers a recipe from the Great Depression, and decides to bake it for Dean. It's a water pie, something he'd had a few times as a child and remembers it being edible. It will have to do.

This is a coda fic for Ninety One Whiskey, and if I loved 91w as much as I did, you'll love this one as well. (2,570 words)

Nobody Here But Us Chickens by ImYourHoneyBee

Dean has been trying out endearments inside his head for years. He can’t help it. Some sentences feel wrong on his tongue without one, the unsaid words jumping over themselves to leap out of his mouth like living things. It took him a long time to label it love, but what else could the urge be when Cas makes him feel so much? When Cas is hurt, Dean's gruff, “You good?” needs a comma and a ‘sweetheart’ at the end. Calling out in a dank, dusty storage room for a hand with hauling boxes or needing a clarifying eye on an obscure, potentially magical trinket wants to start with a questioning, “Hey, honey?” He can almost taste it, dripping off his tongue sweet and wanting, casual in its intimacy. Sometimes, Dean slips up. “Good morning, sunshine,” while passing Cas a doctored-up cup of coffee in his favourite mug has become a morning ritual. It’s innocuous enough to get away with if he doesn’t think about it too hard. Sometimes, he tries his best to make it sarcastic, but it inevitably comes out too sincere. Cas hasn't caught on yet, though, and Sam has stopped shooting him questioning side-eyes, so Dean's pretty sure he's pulling it off. The problem is that it’s not enough. It’s never enough. 

Very fluffy, they are soo soft in this, I love it. (4022 words)

45 by soft_pine

Dean's 4th, 5th, and 45th birthdays.

The contrast between those birthdays just chef's kiss! (1,158 words)

found it here in your love by nevernevergirl

Dean's birthday doesn't go as planned. Cas is definitely not throwing a tantrum about it. (In which learning to live your life after nearly two decades of saving the actual world is a process. They're doing it together, though.)

Another Dean's birthday fic, I actually read this one his birthday :). (2,779 words)

Don’t Let the Sound (of Your Own Wheels) Drive You Crazy by Eightbitpale

Like a crazy person, like this is new information, Dean thinks: there’s an angel of the lord in my passenger seat. One day I brought him home with me and he hasn’t left since. Cas sighs loudly, and turns a little in his seat to look at Dean head on.

“You’re thinking very loudly.”

“Don’t read my thoughts, Cas”, Dean replies on autopilot, knowing even as he says it that that’s not what the angel meant. There’s a beat of silence between them where Cas just lets the tension hang, knowing all too well that the steely look he’s currently beaming into the side of Dean’s head is enough to make him crack eventually. Dean cracks. “I guess I was just thinking that some shit never changes, y’know?”Its been a long drive. Dean is thinking loudly.

I love the way this one was written, the atmosphere was really special.(3,917 words)

I (22m) am concerned about a coworker (30sm) but am wary of getting too involved in his life by bitterred

A coworker at the Gas-N-Sip that Castiel works at has noticed some weird things about him and decided to write into /r/relationships for advice. "I (22M) have a coworker (mid-30s, I think, M) and this dude (I guess I’ll call him Steve, it's anonymous enough) is more than a little weird. We work at a convenience store/gas station. It’s like he doesn’t understand any pop culture reference, at all, but talks about stuff from ancient history (like, literally, stuff that is in the bible) like he knows it happened for sure."

Short reddit fic about a one of Cas' coworkers perspective on Dean. (492 words)

but honey, most of them are true by Owco

Sam overhears some gossip between two hunters at a bar. He is surprised to learn that it’s all true. Set sometime after Exodus, around Let the Good Times Roll.

A very funny and unique take on the "Sam finds out about Dean and Cas"- trope. (2,996 words)

If you read and enjoy these fics make sure that you leave kudos and/or write a comment! Some of these stories are first fic the author posted on ao3 and they deserve all the love and motivation.

(And please feel free to point out any mistakes I might have made with the links and stuff... hope you enjoy! See you next month for the february recs.)

i hope that when i die there will be an apartment with everyone i’ve ever loved in it and we are together always

Goodbye 2023! Hello 2024! Happy New Year Everyone🎉🎊🎇

Beste Échte Liefde Gemeenschap,

Wat een onvergetelijke avond op de zevende editie van Bedenkingen op 9 januari 2024! Het was een eer mijn verhaal te delen in The Hall of Fame, te midden van gelijkgestemden die net zo gepassioneerd zijn over liefde, vrijheid en intimiteit als ik.

Échte Liefde gaat voor mij verder dan woorden; het is een diepgewortelde overtuiging die ik graag deel. Die avond heb ik mijn reis met jullie gedeeld en hoe dit idee van liefde verspreiden tot stand kwam. Het thema van de avond, vrijheid en intimiteit, raakte mijn hart, en ik hoop dat mijn woorden met jullie resoneren.

Een bijzonder moment was de kans om exclusieve Échte Liefde items te bemachtigen, een tastbare herinnering aan een avond vol inspiratie. Dank aan allen die deel uitmaakten van deze magische avond en aan Kunstmaan, Sapi, Tilburg Universiteit filosofieafdeling en The Hall of Fame voor dit prachtige initiatief.

Het delen van mijn verhaal in The Hall of Fame was een eer, en ik ben dankbaar voor de warmte en liefde. Blijf op de hoogte van toekomstige evenementen en ontdek meer over de reis van Échte Liefde op deze website.

Met liefde en dankbaarheid,

Gregory Wijnstein

Beste Échte Liefde Gemeenschap,

Wat een onvergetelijke avond op de zevende editie van Bedenkingen op 9 januari 2024! Het was een eer mijn verhaal te delen in The Hall of Fame, te midden van gelijkgestemden die net zo gepassioneerd zijn over liefde, vrijheid en intimiteit als ik.

Échte Liefde gaat voor mij verder dan woorden; het is een diepgewortelde overtuiging die ik graag deel. Die avond heb ik mijn reis met jullie gedeeld en hoe dit idee van liefde verspreiden tot stand kwam. Het thema van de avond, vrijheid en intimiteit, raakte mijn hart, en ik hoop dat mijn woorden met jullie resoneren.

Een bijzonder moment was de kans om exclusieve Échte Liefde items te bemachtigen, een tastbare herinnering aan een avond vol inspiratie. Dank aan allen die deel uitmaakten van deze magische avond en aan Kunstmaan, Sapi, Tilburg Universiteit filosofieafdeling en The Hall of Fame voor dit prachtige initiatief.

Het delen van mijn verhaal in The Hall of Fame was een eer, en ik ben dankbaar voor de warmte en liefde. Blijf op de hoogte van toekomstige evenementen en ontdek meer over de reis van Échte Liefde op deze website.

Met liefde en dankbaarheid,

Gregory Wijnstein

Beste Échte Liefde Gemeenschap,

Wat een onvergetelijke avond op de zevende editie van Bedenkingen op 9 januari 2024! Het was een eer mijn verhaal te delen in The Hall of Fame, te midden van gelijkgestemden die net zo gepassioneerd zijn over liefde, vrijheid en intimiteit als ik.

Échte Liefde gaat voor mij verder dan woorden; het is een diepgewortelde overtuiging die ik graag deel. Die avond heb ik mijn reis met jullie gedeeld en hoe dit idee van liefde verspreiden tot stand kwam. Het thema van de avond, vrijheid en intimiteit, raakte mijn hart, en ik hoop dat mijn woorden met jullie resoneren.

Een bijzonder moment was de kans om exclusieve Échte Liefde items te bemachtigen, een tastbare herinnering aan een avond vol inspiratie. Dank aan allen die deel uitmaakten van deze magische avond en aan Kunstmaan, Sapi, Tilburg Universiteit filosofieafdeling en The Hall of Fame voor dit prachtige initiatief.

Het delen van mijn verhaal in The Hall of Fame was een eer, en ik ben dankbaar voor de warmte en liefde. Blijf op de hoogte van toekomstige evenementen en ontdek meer over de reis van Échte Liefde op deze website.

Met liefde en dankbaarheid,

Gregory Wijnstein

Beste Échte Liefde Gemeenschap,

Wat een onvergetelijke avond op de zevende editie van Bedenkingen op 9 januari 2024! Het was een eer mijn verhaal te delen in The Hall of Fame, te midden van gelijkgestemden die net zo gepassioneerd zijn over liefde, vrijheid en intimiteit als ik.

Échte Liefde gaat voor mij verder dan woorden; het is een diepgewortelde overtuiging die ik graag deel. Die avond heb ik mijn reis met jullie gedeeld en hoe dit idee van liefde verspreiden tot stand kwam. Het thema van de avond, vrijheid en intimiteit, raakte mijn hart, en ik hoop dat mijn woorden met jullie resoneren.

Een bijzonder moment was de kans om exclusieve Échte Liefde items te bemachtigen, een tastbare herinnering aan een avond vol inspiratie. Dank aan allen die deel uitmaakten van deze magische avond en aan Kunstmaan, Sapi, Tilburg Universiteit filosofieafdeling en The Hall of Fame voor dit prachtige initiatief.

Het delen van mijn verhaal in The Hall of Fame was een eer, en ik ben dankbaar voor de warmte en liefde. Blijf op de hoogte van toekomstige evenementen en ontdek meer over de reis van Échte Liefde op deze website.

Met liefde en dankbaarheid,

Gregory Wijnstein

Long time no talk, but to be honest I’m barely on here 😅

Though if anyone is interested I do post on Instagram and would love it if my followers here check out my work

@art.z.keir

Is my username and if you want my commissions are open there as well as here if you are interested in buying some work

Goals for 2024

Simple y resumido ♡

Tener un trabajo, bien pagado, cómodo y fácil.

Hacer cursos de inglés y otros idiomas.

Salir mucho más.

Ser más sociable, carismática y independiente.

Poder vivir y hacer cosas sin miedo y con seguridad.

For every reblog or like is a goal accomplished.

I made a retrospective of my life until now (no I didn't put my age yet)

There are 3 phases !

Phase 1 - Strawberry Shortcake :

Sweet, always happy but cries a lot. One problem only : being too cute 😍

Phase 2 - Carebear :

Shy, still cries, discovers danger and finds the world complicated. One problem only : always heartbroken 💔

And phase 3 - The Grinch :

Asocial, friendless, still tries to find herself and still cries a lot. One problem only : probably needs therapy 🤷🏾‍♀️

Aaaah the old days when all I needed was a caprisun, cookies and Monster High dolls... but now all is about 💵 💵 💵

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Me

@Hanv-Iyxn/deviantart.com

@Hanv-Iyxn/Artfight

do not steal, repost, trace, heavily reference, my ocs or artwork.

my ocs:

Drawings

@Hanv-Iyxn/Deviantart.com

@Hanv-Iyxn/artfight