Not Healed Yet - Tumblr Posts
What's worse is that as I am writing this out my brain is saying " Well he probably only did that to scare you because you were upsetting him. He wouldn't have actually pushed you out..."
Flashback
He tried to push me out of his car while driving 80 km an hour.
He was cruel and I was crying. I had put my face out the window into the night air to try to stop crying and feel better.
In one smooth motion he undid my seatbelt and grabbed my door handle.
Had I not shifted suddenly at his abrupt undoing of my seatbelt his hand may never have slipped off the door handle preventing it from opening properly.
My crime? Someone might have seen me.
When my phone rings, i get tense. If it's a number I don't recognize, I panic.
Another one of those things people think I should just be 'over.'
Visiting our grocery store today took my breath away. And I couldn't get it back.
Some old habits die hard, but I'm not who I used to be.
Ah. Some things haven’t changed
During social engagements I am either:
A) scrambling to find something to say.
B) wondering why i am/chastising myself for talking too much.
There is no happy medium. Whatever i have done is incorrect.