Wtf Is Wrong With Me - Tumblr Posts
The Hobbit, but all of the dwarves are played by Julia Roberts.
I’m such a fucking simp.
@ethereal-deadly-clover knows for who
I just played the Connecting Now and After event (don't ask why I left it so late) and every time the word "hydrangea" appeared, I could only think of @colourless-hydrangeas
And my stupid @$$ not even knowing what a hydrangea was until seeing this lovely person's username saw these in the event and was like:
"That's a scam. They're colourless."
💀
UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME
*MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ARR'S NIGHT BOOKS UNDER THE CUT*
As someone brought up in a very medical household and a proud Biology student (legit failing but whatever), I am genuinely interested in the Youjin Project.
HEAR ME OUT.
Cell transplantation? Unknown medicine (drugs)? Highly dangerous experimentation and research? UM HELLO??? SIGN ME UP. I know what they're doing is terrible, I was suuuper unsettled while playing. BUT LIKE, I WON'T DENY THAT I'M INTERESTED.
I genuinely want to know which cells they take from the Ayakashi and where in the human body they put it. And of course, there was that unknown drug (at the time of writing this, I don't know what that drug is. Whether it is revealed or not, at the moment, I don't know).
Look, I know they're literally killing people and Ayakashi, but the idea was smart. Unstable, unsafe, unruly and unpredictable, but still smart.
💀
So one of my outlets went out and I was trying to do that thing where you flip the switch to reset the breaker on it. Cuz sometimes that works but it wasn't.
And I said OUTLOUD
"I need someone who is better at Redstone to look at this."
I actually did make fanart,but,there is only one and I didn't upload it.I'm not even sure if I should.The two stick figures are the tortilla (I forgot his name ._.) and Sammy the bagel.Has anyone else madr fanart of that movie?I really wanna know so that I don't feel alone. I drew this in Biology class out of bordom and inspiration of that Gravity Falls moment.
This is school
in cafeteria
Me: *eats cracker*
Random girl: *burps loudly*
people at the random girl's table: *loud clapping and wooing*
Me:......*laughs*
this happened at lunch today guys XD
I had this dream last night about Harry Potter, and he and Ron were sitting in I guess the courtyard (does Hogwarts have a fucking courtyard? idk), and just hanging out, when Harry takes off his glasses to clean them or something, then just looks up at Ron and gets all scared, shouting out "oh shit my glasses were the only thing stopping my insaciable need to kiss you" and randomly starts making out with him and like screaming and shit. But Ron just kinda goes with it and keeps kissing him until Hermionie comes out in hipster clothes and screams. Harry stops and looks up at her begging her to not tell anyone for some reason, and she's like "kay, but you gotta write it down in this possessed diary." So he does, and they go inside, which apparently is the library, and they sit down. Then Draco comes up to them and is like "sup nerds", to which everyone just responds with "wtf go the fuck away Draco" and Draco is apparently on library duty or some shit so he picks up their books, including that demon diary and opens it up, literally screaming "HOLY FUCK HARRY'S GAY", and everyone in the library just yells "shut up draco" or "yeah we know" or "no one cares". So he literally runs out of the library yelling about how he's gonna make a 'harry potter is gay club', and Harry gets really mad, so he pulls out a fucking howler and makes it scream out "I'M NOT GAY" in the library. And everyone just gets all silent, and Dumbledore comes in saying, "Harry, you know the rules. If you open a howler in the library, you've gotta put it...IN THE MOUTH" And these fucking hooded figures come out holding this giant disembodied mouth that looks like it's made of the same stuff as those sticky hands, and everybody starts chanting out "in the mouth in the mouth" as the guys put it up on a pedestal and light candles. So, Dumbledore gives Harry the most serious look and tells him to come towards the mouth. Harry stands up and starts walking, with everyone still chanting about the apparently all knowing sticky hand mouth, which is dripping some kind of gross red goo, and he faints like half way up there because I dunno, why not? And one of the guys gasps and says to Dumbledore "No one has ever fainted in its presence before!" To which Dumbledore turns dramatically and says, "indeed. No one should have to deal with the demonic powers of...THE MOUTH."
Like, I don't know what's wrong with my subconscious, but I feel like this is something that needs to be on this site.
I BURNED THE TEA KETTLE LAST NIGHT OMFG
So last night I was trying to make some Theraflu because I've been sick fOR LIKE 2 WEEKS OMFG BUt anyway I was trying to heat up the water and I was waiting on my phone and the next thing I knew tHE TEA KETTLE AND THE BURNER WERE ON FIRE AND I WAS JUST LIKE OH I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT AND SO YEAH THE KETTLE USED TO BE A SHINY SIVLER AND NOW ITS PURE BLACK IM JUSTA FAILURE OK
he got me so bad man...dear lord save me from this guy it’s been ONE DAY ONLY 😭😭
⊹ 𝐉𝐔𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 ٬ 𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒 更 li⋆ke or /.reblog —
for good luck ig he was like 'yo *shows his fist*' and i was like :D??? and did a fist bump with him
I don't understand what the point of anything is if we are all going to be dead one day.
Accidentally showed my crazy side to the guy I like👏🏼🙃
Pray that this is salvageable my friends
Guesss what time it is, itsss time to show more shitty Sebastian doodles while i'm in school! I fucking hate myself fr for the love of god someone end me from my misery
Therapists will hear the most fucked up shit and be like “ ok but that doesn’t make them or you a bad person 🥰”
My existence is basically based on my being a cookie-monster playing with depression and random outburst of energy until my mum give me enough hot chocolate to knock me out of the game
Maybe I'm weird
I have to ask this. Why is it a desirable thing to go out to a bar or a dance hall or somewhere with the express intent of making out with someone? I'm just curious. I went out last night to a coworker's anniversary party. It was at a dance hall that they frequent at least once a week. I get there and have a blast for a few hours. After midnight I am sitting at one of the party reserved tables just resting after several line dances, also belting out with everyone else to the song "Don't Stop Believing". A man in a suit approaches me with a stunned look on his face, asking how big of a big ol boy my boyfriend is. I reply that I don't have one. He looks shocked. He asks me to continue singing and that my voice alone should have me a boyfriend. I was just having fun so I did. He then asks if he can kiss me.
(Break off here. I don't get out much. I was never asked out to parties and such in high school and I still don't now as an adult. It's just not something I do on a regular basis. I've never even had a boyfriend, only been kissed once, still a virgin, etc. Might as well get all that out there as well, it will make more sense to my state of mind later.)
I'd had a couple and was having fun. I said sure why not. So he leans in and goes for it. Now I'm not practiced in the act of kissing (as drawn from the aside above). So I'm just kinda sitting there and he is totally going at it, open-mouth, tongue action, all that jazz. I pull away and start to laugh. I play it off like "I don't even know you." and so he just engages me in conversation for a little bit until one of my coworkers comes over and graciously bails me out of the situation. I played it off but truly I was disgusted. I was having fun and tried it, and I'm not particularly a fan. I believe most of the answer is I'm not used to it. Perhaps it's an acquired liking. Maybe I tried it with the wrong guy. I don't know. But I really don't understand what it is people find attractive in that, making out with a complete stranger. It is so odd to me. I was flattered by his compliments. That is true. But I've grown up the ugly fat girl so I'm at that point where I've finally put attractiveness on the back-burner (as pertaining to judgement of a person. I don't mean "I'm not pretty so I don't even try".) Is it really an accurate reader into how attractive a person is simply by whether or not you make out with a stranger at a bar?
me when i heard that someone major is gonna die in The 100.
WTFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
$20,000 FIRST CLASS AIRPLANE SEATS
Dead by Twilight- Pt 4
Gawd dam. I do apologise for anyone who was waiting for this for a long time (nobody? Nobody.) but here we f u c k i n g go-
📢 F I N A L W A R N I N G this contains Mouthplay, some would consider it vore or vore themes, suggestions of death, basically torture, oxygen deprivation and dehumanization. Its pretty dark, but hell did I enjoy writing it.
These topics are pretty immediately prominent so dont think you can just " skip over it" literally the whole chapter
is. Just. Mouthplay.
M' kay? M' kay.
Lazarus chuckled darkly.
His hand glided across the top of the cage, found the latch and unhooked it.
The top creaked open and wren sat exposed, only able to watch and quiver as the ghoulish hand decended upon them.
Their heartbeat quickened as they were again enveloped by clawed fingers, unsure of their intention.
Lifted from the cage, wren was turned to look up into the monsters face.
"Now why..." he teased in his deep, smooth voice. "would I deny myself a little treat like you~"
Lazarus lifted the small, shuddering thing to his mouth. He admired its horrified expression. He loved the power, the thrill of live prey made him extatic, already anticipating what was to come from the earlier tasting, he couldnt resist after such an exquisite thing had graced his pallete.
He took a long breath in, smelling the intoxicating fear coming from the terrified creature.
Absolutely delicious~
Wren whimpered, feeling the hot breath wash over them as the vampire sighed and closed his clawed digits further around them.
Oh god they were dead, they would become nothing but a midnight snack for a merciless predator.
Opening their eyes just a smidge wren realised just how close they were to his t e e t h. They winced imagining being impaled by those fangs, chewed into nothing- or perhaps the sadistic fuck would swallow them whole- letting his gut slowly digest them as he reveled in their screams.
Wren squirmed hopelessly in the vampires hold, they knew it would do nothing but instinct was still instinct.
"Shh- be still, Dear, this wont hurt."
Like hell!
" sto-p it please-" they cried, still writhing uselessly
Lazarus ignored their pleas.
Wren stared in horror as his mouth opened, unveiling half inch fangs still partialy stained red from the earlier feeding. The vampires enormous red tounge exited his mouth and wren yelped as it knocked them onto their back. The warm muscle traveled up their body, leaving a sticky shien of saliva on their clothes and face..
The monster took wren in its claws and flipped them onto their stomach.
They were pressed into the enormous palm by his nose as he inhaled once again.
God was Lazarus enjoying this.
Wren could smell the coppery scent of blood on the vampires breath as he exhaled, the hot air permeating through their clothes and warming their whole body.
They felt the wet tounge glide up their body again, focusing on their leg and teasing their face and neck, making them squeak, before it pulled away.
" please st-stop" they could feel tears forming in the corners of their eyes.
"Relax, little thing. This will be much easier if you cooperate"
What!?!?
Wren looked back and to their horror they were being slowly guided into the vampires gaping maw.
Clawed fingers nudged them back towards their death, the saliva helping slide them ever closer.
Wrens eyes went wide, frantically they tried to claw and grab at the huge slippery fingers, but as the hand tilted wrens hand slipped and the giant digit escaped their desperate gasp.
Wren fell the short distance, landing with a wet plop onto the slimy muscle beneath them. They shrieked and tried to push themself forward out of the beasts mouth, but to their horror the tounge angled itself back, pushing the borrower deeper into the cavernous jaws, sliding them close to the throat-
Wren was sure they would be swallowed right then and there, but they were sorely mistaken.
Lazarus let out a content hum as the borrower finally landed in his jaws, he took them into his mouth, teasing them a bit while trying to absorb as much of their exquisite taste as he could.
Such a wonderful specimen this little thing was, most definitely worth keeping around.
Wren watched in horror as the jaws closed and they were enveloped in darkness, their senses tried to compensate as they thrashed around, the warm slippery tounge pushed them up and wren was squeezed against the top jaw, forcing them to cease their writhing. The tounge pushed harder, forcing all the air out of them for just a moment before letting up.
They gasped, inhaling the warm, coppery air around them that reminded them just how bloodthirsty this thing was.
Wren kept struggling, they couldnt give up like last time, they couldnt
/die/ no, not like this-
They kicked the writhing tounge beneath them and felt air go past them as the vampire huffed at their futile attack.
The tounge menuvered them forwards and wren was pushed up against something hard.
As the mouth opened they were maneuvered slightly forward. What was-
Wren shrieked feeling their neck become pinned and they realised in horror that their head was positioned precariously between the vampires t e e t h
Lazarus applied the slightest pressure before relenting and pulling them back inside, hoping that his message was recieved.
Wren gasped and coughed, taking in the humid air as if it was their last breath, which for all they knew it probably was.
They stopped struggling, obviously they were doomed, almost literally in the belly of the beast.
They layed down on the slimy muscle, shaking as they were menuvered around the cavernous jaws, being pushed against every corner as the beast tasted them.
Why did it have to take so long,, to tease them like this ?! Truly wren didnt want to die but this was almost worse, the agonizing anticipation just waiting for their death unable to do anything but sit there and be toyed with.
Until finally the jaws opened, wrens sluggish body was slid forward and pulled by gentle fingers into lazarus' hand.
Barely concious from oxygen deprivation, wren could barely think, but as they regained their awareness, all they could feel was confused.
Lazarus looked down on his little guest, looking like they had been nearly drowned. He hadnt realised just how long he'd kept them in there...
No matter, they should be just fine now.
Wren lay limply, not sure if this was a final ploy to play with them before they were ended.
They took in gasping breaths and squeezed their eyes shut they couldnt bare to look at... Him.
Wren didnt bother pleading, it was made very clear this thing had no sympathy, no concience, nothing that would have any intent to listen to their wishes.
"...Wren" lazarus said, concerned.
They only shuddered in his palm.
He prodded their back which made the little thing wince.
Lazarus sighed and slid them off his hand and back into the cold cage.
" well, your all healed now, if thats any consolation." lazarus stated.
Im... What...
Wren couldnt feel anything hurting them, they sat up on the cold floor, feeling at their leg the found that the wound was gone! Their leg was fully intact and they didnt have an ounce of pain moving it. All that remained was a brown scar trailing up the path of the injury, but perhaps that would heal too.
Still, their main concern was what in hell had just happened and why. Why werent they dead? Why would this thing heal them, of all things? If they didnt want them dead or hurt or something... Then what..?
Wrens head spun, of course they didnt want to talk to the thing that had just tortured them in it's mouth, but he was all they had, the only one who knew the workings of his own, sick little mind.