Plural Resources - Tumblr Posts
Tumblr Post of our Endogenic and Non-traumagenic Plurality Research
Endogenic & Non-Traumagenic Plurality By Guardians System, a diagnosed traumagenic DID system with PTSD and CPTSD For use by everyone, to be read by EVERYONE Brought to you by sysmeds who say “I’m not reading all that” (/j)
Feel free to DM on Twitter at GuardiansSystemOpen for anonymous questions on Tellonym also under GuardiansSystemOtherwise, just comment! :)
Lists of Links Put together by community members! (Not thoroughly checked)
Plurality/Multiplicity + Syscourse Resources and Findings Pastebin by ButterflyBlood - contains info from the DSM-3 to the DSM-V, medical info, community info, Tulpa info, syscourse info, and a video
Cambrian's Thread of Experts Thread by the Cambrian Crew - contains info from Dr Eric Yarbrough (Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association), info from Dr Nijenhuis and Van Der Hart (two of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation), info from the ICD-11 and DSM-V-TR, and an interview by Dr Richard Loewenstein (lead editor of the DSM-V’s section on DIssociative Disorders)
Studies into non-disordered and/or endogenic plurality Pastebin by Oliviaset - contains multiple science/government links and a video
Collected Plurality Info - 8 pages of resources - Fractal System Document by The Fractal System - contains explanations on multiple types of plurality and references links to each, contains community info, history info, academic info, and more
Scientific Papers on Endogenic Plurality - r/Plural Post and comments by numerous systems/supporters - contains a massive amount of uncategorised links to all types of information on non-traumagenic plurality
Multiplicity Links - SARAH K REECE Site by Sarah K Reece - a previously diagnosed traumagenic DID system that no longer fits the criteria but is still a system, links focus mainly on general helpful system information
Scientific Articles on Nondisordered Systems Document by Tabellenblatt1 (?) - contains info specific to non-disordered plurality, including the interview by Dr Richard Loewenstein
Ex Uno Plures - Articles Community site by Plures House - contains explanations on plurality, info on living plural, info on personal experiences, medical info, philosophical info, social info, and syscourse info
An Endogenic Proof Masterlist - Plural Anomaly Document by Plural Anomaly - contains community info, academic info, and criticisms on the Theory of Structural Dissociation
Plurality Studies - Multiplicity and Plurality Wiki Wiki made by numerous community members - contains uncategorised abstracts from medical info and info on Tulpas
Non-Traumagenic & Endogenic System Information General medical/clinical studies and research
It's just a body: A community-based participatory exploration of the experiences and health care needs for transgender plural people Study by numerous people including a system - repeatedly references and explains multiple types of plurality, both traumagenic and non-traumagenic
Multiplicity: An Explorative Interview Study on Personal Experiences of People with Multiple Selves Study by numerous people - uses some outdated language, however, explores how systems exist both with and without Dissociative Identity Disorder
Conceptualising multiplicity spectrum experiences: a systematic review and thematic synthesis Study by numerous people - explores how multiplicity exists outside of Dissociative Identity Disorder in a medical context in order to recommend appropriate health services
Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness over Multiplicity: An Examination of Dissociative Identity (Disorder) in Five Clinical Texts (Alternative Link) Study by Kymbra Clayton - explains how multiple selves can be healthy without the need for singularity
NORMAL DIMENSIONS OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITY WITHOUT AMNESIA Study by multiple people - uses slightly outdated language, describes how multiplicity can be considered natural without the dissociative disorders, and how the dissociative disorders could simply be expanding upon multiplicity
Cognitive processes in dissociation: An analysis of core theoretical assumptions Study by numerous people - discusses potentially healthy dissociation and the existence of dissociation without trauma
MODES OF EXISTENCE: TOWARDS A PHENOMENOLOGICAL POLYPSYCHISM Study by Mick Cooper - discusses alternative ways for multiple selves to exist
A plurality of selves? An illustration of polypsychism in a recovered addict Study by Peter T.F. Raggatt - discusses the normality of non-traumagenic multiplicity and different ways for natural plurality to exist
A Jungian Perspective on the Dissociability of the Self Study by Brian R. Skea - includes multiple mentions of Freud, extremely explicit and triggering language, and repeated use of outdated terms, however helps to provide an understanding of much older views on non-traumagenic dissociation and plurality
TRANSGENDER Mental Health - chapter 11 Book by Dr. Eric Yarbrough of the American Psychiatric Association - states repeatedly throughout the chapter that plurality is only a part of dissociative identity disorder and exists without the disorder, as well as trauma only being reported in some cases of plurality and that trauma is not the only cause for plurality, and states that plurality itself is only a collection of alters
"I've Learned to Treat my Characters like People": Varieties of Agency and Interaction of Writers' Experiences of their Characters' Voices Study by multiple people - describes authors’ common experience of accidental multiplicity caused by their characters gaining autonomy
Dissociation in Trauma: A New Definition and Comparison with Previous Formulations Article by Ellert R S Nijenhuis and Onno van der Hart (two of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation) - page 27, at the end of the article, they recognise mediumship and similar practices as a “division of personality,” which is what they refer to the dissociative disorders as
Exploring the Experiences of Young People with Multiplicity Research by Zarah Eve and Sarah Perry - begins with multiplicity only sometimes being applicable for a DID/OSDD diagnosis, and continues that multiplicity itself and the dissociative disorders are not the same, as well as some respondents not associating their multiplicity with trauma alongside the dissociative disorders not applying to some of the respondents, and having a section for some multiplicity not being based in trauma
Comparison of Brazilian spiritist mediumship and dissociative identity disorder Study by multiple people - in comparing Dissociative Identity Disorder with Brazilian Spiritist Mediumship, it was found the two shared very similar results, only that the Mediumship results appeared slightly healthier than DID
Tulpamancy Studies and research specifically on Tulpas, though can apply to other plurality
Tibetan Buddhist with a Tulpa - Opinion on Plurality Post by Dharma Yokeyodasampa - a Tibetan Buddhist with a more traditional Tulpa asking community members for questions, discussions include what they think about plurality, western Tulpamancy, how their Tulpa feels, and the difference between western Tulpamancy and the Tibetan practice. (This is a post compiling and explaining most of it, with a response from Dharma.)
Personality Characteristics of Tulpamancers and Their Tulpas Study by multiple people - examines and explores what Tulpas are, what they do, their role, Tulpa experiences, some history, and more
Sentient companions predicted and modeled into existence: explaining the Tulpa phenomenon Study by Kaj Sotala - describes a theory on how Tulpas may be psychologically caused via “feedback loops” (can also be applied to various other types of plurality, such as multiplicity caused by authors/artists and caused by other disorders)
A Time for Tulpas Thesis by Nick Stager - discusses what a Tulpa is, experiences with Tulpas, the development of Tulpas, how other practices may be similar, how an author can accidentally create Tulpas, and more
Tracking the Tulpa - Exploring the "Tibetan" Origins of a Contemporary Paranormal Idea Book by Natasha L. Mikles and Joseph P. Laycock - explains what Tulpas are, how Tulpas are created both intentionally and unintentionally, some of the history behind Tulpa, and Tulpas based on theosophy instead of the Tibetan practice
Tulpas and Mental Health: A Study of Non-Traumagenic Plural Experiences Study by Jacob J. Isler - explains what Tulpamancy is and how it can differ from Dissociative Identity Disorder but still be plural
Paranormalizing the Popular through the Tibetan Tulpa: Or what the next Dalai Lama, the X Files and Affect Theory (might) have in common Article by Ben Joffe - explains what Tulpas are, how Tulpas develop, Tulpa experiences in the outside world, the difference between Tulpamancy and the Tibetan practice, some of the history behind Tulpas, Theosophy-related Tulpas, and Tibetan Sprulpa experiences
Making Friends - Transcript of a Podcast on Tulpas (Slightly incorrect: more info here) Discussion by multiple people - explains multiple personal experiences with a Tulpa, actions of a Tulpa, accidental creation of Tulpas through writing, Tulpas taking over the physical body, Tulpas having a different identity, purposeful creation of Tulpas, discussions with professionals (Richard J. Loewenstein,) the difference between Tulpas and psychosis, the similarity between Tulpas and Dissociative Identity Disorder, how without distress then it can’t be disordered, and more
Daring to Hear Voices
Dalai Lama - Buddhist practices are open to those who need them
Clinical Information Helpful medical information not specifically related to non-traumagenic systems
DID Brain Pattern Study Doesn't Measure Up - December 2018 Critique by Spot&Cerberus - discusses the multiple flaws with the MRI scan on DID patients
Moral Status and the Treatment of DID Study by Timothy J. Bane - discusses the current known treatments for DID in the context of integration being commonly used, how it may be unethical and unhealthy to force integration, and that a multiple can healthily exist
DID, OSDD, and UDD Diagnostic Guide (NZ) Diagnostic guide by ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) - the New Zealand guide to diagnosing patients with DID, OSDD, and UDD, includes history of the diagnosis, problems with the diagnosis, alternative diagnoses, requirements for a diagnosis, what to avoid in a diagnosis, what to look for in a diagnosis, and similar
The Theory of Structural Dissociation Theory by multiple people - the most commonly used theory to explain dissociation, often specifically related to dissociative disorders
Problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation Research by multiple people - discusses multiple problems with the Theory of Structural Dissociation, including it being a theory, the discarding of derealisation, depersonalisation, dissociative fugue, dissociative amnesia, the lack of association with trauma and PTSD in the DSM-V, and proposes some different ideas
ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics Book by the World Health Ogranisation - Dissociative disorders on 6B64
DSM DID ALTERATIONS
DSM-V-TR
DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) Book by the American Psychiatric Association - Dissociative Disorders on page 336
DSM-IV-TR
DSM-IV
DSM-III-R
DSM-III
DSM-II-SPECIAL
DSM-II
DSM-I-SPECIAL
DSM-I
Plural History Explanations and references to different parts of plural history
Plural History - 1811 Collection by Lb Lee - contains multiple parts of history in which systems of all types have existed (there are 4 different chapters)
A Partial History of Plural Self-Advocacy Collection by Alt H - describes times in history starting from 1987 when non-traumagenic plural advocacy was recorded
It's Not Just a Tumblr Thing - Kerry Dawkins Article by Ex Uno Plures - contains references in history to plurality outside of and before Tumblr
A Brief History of the Use of "System" in a Non-DID Space Collection by Lb Lee - describes the history of the word “system” being used to describe those with multiple selves, and how it isn’t a disorder-specific term
A Quick'N'Dirty History of "System" as Plural Slang Collection by Lb Lee - explains the history of the word “system” and the different uses
"Endogenic" was not coined by Freud Collection by Sophie in Wonderland - a discussion on the anti-endos claim that “endogenic” was coined by Freud
Origin of the term Endogenic Explanation by the Lunastus Collective - details how the term “endogenic” came to be created, what led up to it, and what happened after
I saw a post saying we should just believe RAMCOA surivors... okay... so how about this one? Explanation by Sophie in Wonderland - describes how and why anti-endos think “system hopping” was stolen by endogenic systems from RAMCOA systems, including an explanation from the RAMCOA system that anti-endos reference
Community Explanations Explanations on endogenic plurality by community members (sources are used)
Debunking the Anti-Endo Carrd - Guardians System To be updated
What do Sysmeds say That is Transphobic/TERF Rhetoric? Post by multiple people - a discussion on the comparison of sysmeds and transmeds, and how their arguments and the language they use is the same
Why Not Just Use Thoughtform? Collection by Sophie in Wonderland and Olivia Set - describes why some parogenic systems prefer using Tulpa over Thoughtform
Debunking Sysmeds - Claims and Rebuttals Carrd by Ozymandias& - lists claims that anti-endos make against endogenic systems, and critiques the claims alongside referencing studies
I would define a plural system as having multiple, compartmentalised, self-conscious agents - SophieInWonderland Collection by Sophie in Wonderland - an explanation of the validity of endogenic and non-traumagenic systems complete with referenced research and studies
Studies and Research into Endogenic and Non-Disordered Plurality
Masterpost - Academia on Endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality Post by Inclusive Syscourse - contains an explanation on the validity of endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality complete with referenced research
Claims There is No Research On Endogenics Post by Unknown - a list of research on endogenic and non-traumagenic plurality alongside explanations and descriptions
Origins of Plurality and Levels of Dissociation Study by The Phoenixes - uses the DES to gain insight into plurality not caused by trauma
The Tulpa Carrd - explain the nature and origins of Tulpamancy and what surrounds it Carrd by Unknown - lists an explanation and some history of Tulpamancy alongside references to research
Likely Origins of "Tulpamancy is Cultural Appropriation" Post by the Dragonheart System - critiques a Carrd claiming that Tulpamancy is cultural appropriation, referencing research and studies
Resources General helpful resources for all systems
Multiplicity Wiki - A wiki by plurals and multiples, for plurals and multiples Wiki by multiple people - contains terms, definitions, and general information on all types of plurality and multiplicity
Layman's Guide to Multiplicity Guide by Unknown - contains terms, definitions, information, explanations, and experiences on multiple types of plurality
The Plural Association - For Dissociative Identity Disorder & all other forms of Multiplicity under the Plural umbrella Organisation by the Stronghold System (?) - contains help sites for all types of struggling systems, alongside helpful information and articles on multiple areas
Pluralpedia - the collaborative plurality dictionary Dictionary by multiple people - contains a massive amount of information on the majority of plural terms and history
Endogenic Hub - a site dedicated to endogenic plurality Hub by the Hordes System - contains information and experiences on multiple types of non-traumagenic plurality, alongside explanations of what plurality is
More Than One - Plurality (or multiplicity) is the existence of multiple self-aware entities inside one physical brain Site by Unknown - contains information on terms, different system origins, denounces myths about plurality, and different plural experiences
The Dissociative Initiative - For, by, and about people with multiplicity, dissociation, and amnesia Run by Sarah K Reece - a support group for systems that contains different information and resources on plurality
Tulpa Info - "For Science" Guide by Unknown - multiple different languages, explains what a Tulpa is, why they can exist, and where to begin when making a Tulpa
FAQ If you’re a sysmed, you might end up here! Congrats if you do!
What is a system? A system is anyone who has more than one entity/identity in the body/brain.
What is plural/multiple? They mean pretty much the same as "system", only "plural" was made exclusively to be inclusive of every experience that involves many in the same body. E.g. if someone is an anti-endo or sysmed and uses the hashing "plural" to find friends, they're going to attract inclusive folks who support endos.
What is DID? DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is a disorder in which a system experiences severe dissociation that heavily impacts their life on a day-to-day basis.
What is OSDD? OSDD stands for otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder and is used when they experience similar symptoms to DID but are missing one of the diagnostic criteria. E.g. OSDD-1A is used when there's a lack of distinct identities or no identities. OSDD-1B is used when there's a lack of memory gaps. (The separate OSDD categories don't properly exist as a diagnosis themselves - they are carried over from DDNOS.)
What is UDD? UDD stands for Unspecified Dissociative Disorder. It's often used as a placeholder diagnosis by professionals to say that although there is a dissociative disorder, they're not sure what it is.
What is a non-disordered system? A non-disordered system is a system without DID, OSDD, or UDD. They don't experience the disorders or do not fit the criteria.
What is traumagenic, endogenic, mixed-origins, etc.? Traumagenic is a system that is formed from trauma. Endogenic is a system that is formed without trauma. Mixed-origins is a system that has multiple origins, E.g. some alters came from trauma and some did not.
What is a Tulpa? A Tulpa is a created identity that comes from repeatedly feeding information on one character or multiple characters into the brain. It can be purposeful or accidental.
DID/OSDD/UDD are trauma disorders? The diagnostic criteria for the disorders don't include trauma being necessary, nor does it anywhere else in the category. Trauma disorders and dissociative disorders are also categorised separately, and there are past studied cases of DID that weren't caused by trauma. The DSM-V-TR also includes a section that states trauma isn't necessary for a diagnosis.
You need trauma to be a system? The DSM-V specifies that a diagnosis of DID cannot be applied to cultural plurality. Culture-related plurality has existed and been documented for centuries, erased by colonisation and racism. Common cultural plurality includes Tibetan Buddhism, many Two-Spirit folk, medians, and mediums. These and more are all plural.
Dissociation is a trauma reaction? You’ll find nearly every if not every professional refers to some dissociation as “trauma-related dissociation” - take, for example, Kathy Steele, one of the writers of the Theory of Structural Dissociation, whose work consists almost only of “trauma-related dissociation”. That wouldn’t be necessary if dissociation only came from trauma. Dissociation is commonly shown to exist both inside and outside of other disorders. It’s especially common in BPD, ADHD, MADD, autism, and a few other disorders.
So only cultural and spiritual plurality can be non-traumagenic? They’re the most well-researched, but not the only non-traumagenic plurality. There are a few different theories as to how other plurality can form. Many experience their plurality caused by mostly unrelated disorders - autism, ADHD, BPD, Bipolar Disorder, MADD, etc. Others report accidentally creating alters, especially those who focus on characters, such as writers, artists, and authors. Yet more simply say they were born with their plurality, or grew up being plural without trauma being the cause. We believe plurality that hasn’t existed since birth could be caused by a “feedback loop” (here) in which one’s brain, after being fed repeated information, begins to predict the information, therefore creating actions to fill that prediction. This could be used to explain Tulpamancy (repeated info), artists/authors/writers (repeated info), ASD (masking and special interests), ADHD (masking and hyperfixations), BPD (splitting and more), MADD (repeated info), Bipolar (different states), and so on.
Endogenic systems harm traumagenic systems? We and others have asked multiple times for sysmeds to tell us why they think endogenic systems hurt them, and every time we’ve either received silence or something that’s already been covered. Besides that, anti-endos hurt other traumagenic systems with their BS far more than endogenic systems might hurt them.
Anti-endos hurt traumagenic systems? Yup, and very frequently, considering sysmeds repeat the exact same information. Sysmeds say you have to be disordered to be a system - traumagenic systems exist without being disordered. Sysmeds say endogenic systems stole traumagenic terms - a mix of the communities coined the majority of system terms, and “endogenic” was coined by a traumagenic system. Sysmeds say what someone went through isn’t traumatising or horrific enough - traumagenic systems can be caused by any amount of trauma, no matter how “insignificant” it seems. Sysmeds repeatedly tell endogenic systems they need to have trauma - telling someone they have to have trauma when they either don’t or have amnesia around it can be incredibly damaging and has hurt many traumagenic systems. Sysmeds say they need to go to a psychologist or a therapist and be diagnosed - many traumagenic systems can’t be diagnosed. Many endogenic systems have trauma, just know they weren’t formed from it, and anti-endos repeatedly mock them about having trauma. There’s much, much more, but to end it, as a traumagenic system, we’ve personally been assaulted, harassed, threatened, told to kill ourself, and had our trauma completely invalidated and discarded by anti-endo traumagenic systems.
Expired Links Looking for alternatives
Endogenic Research (Text Form) - NightFallSystem
----------------------------
Hey everybody.
This is a list of the research and resources we've compiled over the last year or so that refers in some way to plurality, especially in the context of being endogenic and non-traumagenic supportive.
We often argue this subject on Twitter, alongside (hope you don't mind the tags) @cambriancrew and @sophieinwonderland . We've included a few of their posts in this, as they do share some wonderful information. Sophie deals in mainly Tulpamancy, we believe? And Cambrians does a wide range of things. They've both been incredibly helpful, so big credit and massive thank you to those two (and anyone else in this document) :)
Feel free to link this post or the document itself to anyone. Link it everywhere. Feel free to tag us too, as your friendly neighbourhood endo-friendly traumagenic DID system with PTSD and CPTSD. Our collective pronouns are phe/phex/phins, and we're collectively called Guardians or Guardians System.
Hope this helps some folks! If anything's wrong in this post, mention it in the notes (we think that's how Tumblr works?) and we'll adjust it in the Google Document. Alternatively, if you'd prefer to remain anonymous or would like to talk to us directly, you can check our LinkTree at the top of this page. We're always open to feedback and new research! We're especially interested in making our document more reader-friendly, as it can be a bit of an eyesore. but we're not the best at formatting documents.
If we do receive updates to edit some information, we'll be doing so on the document, so always double-check there in case there's been a change. If there are enough updates, we'll redo this post, but hopefully, that won't be necessary for a long time, because formatting all this in Tumblr is more than enough for us.
Thank you for reading!
-Rakan (not Marcus, fuck you Marcus)
Is That a New Guy or Am I Losing My Mind; or, A Beginner's Guide to Finding Headmates
Written by Roger de Camden of the Draconic Wizard Workshop
Hello, everybody! This is an essay for both plurals who might struggle finding, identifying, or confirming headmates, as well as people who are questioning whether or not they’re plural. Certain pieces of advice may apply better to questioners than established systems, and vice versa, but rest assured, it is intended for both!
This essay will be broken into several sections for various “phases” of discovery and working things out, but a disclaimer before we get to that: this is heavily based on our own experiences. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of guide. I’m going to try to make it such, but, well, I can’t make any promises, because there are infinite ways of being a system out there, and everyone’s a little different. This is just what I’ve found works for us, and, to a large extent, many of our system friends! That being said, if you try to start syscourse or invalidate other systems for any reason in response to this essay, I’m going to block you and that’s that.
Also, sorry if I go between spellings for words. I’m English, but the body is American and that means that I don’t know how to spell certain words anymore.
So! Onwards, towards discovery!
Step One: Getting an Inkling
The first step to figuring out whether or not you’ve got a headmate (new or otherwise undiscovered; I’ll mostly be calling them “new” as in “new to you”) is having an inkling that one might exist. This is mostly a passive process, and you’re probably familiar with it if you’re reading this guide. Maybe you felt something scuttle through headspace (if you have one) or through the back of your mind. Maybe you felt a presence looming behind you, mentally, that bolted when you “looked.” Maybe you had a very strong emotional reaction to something that makes no sense for you to react to, but would make sense for a character you’ve been really attached to in a show. Or maybe you slipped into an unfamiliar accent, had a loss of memories and woke up with nail polish on in a colour you hate, or just felt an opinion about something that doesn’t match your usual one. Sometimes, you may even “hear” comments about things going on in your mind.
There are a lot of little things that can tip you off. Most of them are going to be things that are misaligned with your own perception of yourself, your opinions, and your behavior. This is usually a sign that someone is co-conscious or co-fronting with you without you being aware of it. Some headmates are very sneaky this way, and some may not realise that they exist at all while doing this! Don’t hold being hard to notice or get a hold of against your headmates—many of them don’t realise that they exist, don’t know how to not be this way, or are doing it for what they perceive to be a good reason (this last one is especially common in disordered systems). Maybe they’re scared, or just not ready to be confronted yet. Don’t worry—remember, you have your whole lives to figure out everyone who’s in there, and the time will pass anyways! Take it easy.
One specific thing that tends to tip us off to a new fictive is that we realise that… no one is aware of running a character that we’re playing in a tabletop roleplaying game. Maybe someone started off running them, but they sure seem to be doing their own thing now! That character may be hard to “turn off” or “put on the shelf” when you stop playing them—and they may continue to make comments and have opinions about things in your life. This is a dead giveaway! Sometimes when we think about a character, we feel a “movement” or interest somewhere in our mind that doesn’t match anyone else’s pattern of thinking or interests, which also can be a giveaway that they’re scuttling around somewhere. Also beneficial, for us, is our synesthesia—every headmate has a colour associated with them, and when we get a thought pattern that seems to match someone but the colour is off, it can make us realise that maybe there’s someone else in here. For example, if someone were to be really interested in jellyfish, we might think that it’s Caspian, but if the colour comes back as red and not blue, then we know for certain that it’s not him.
This first inkling of a new headmate may be obvious or it may be subtle. You may question yourself repeatedly, but remember: if you feel like you are “accidentally faking,” that’s not how faking works. Faking must be done intentionally and on purpose. You could be wrong, yes, but being wrong isn’t inherently bad. It’s just that you were mistaken about something. Nothing wrong with that! We’re all mistaken about all kinds of things every day! Be kind to yourself while trying to figure things out.
Step Two: Are You There, Headmate? It’s Me, Your Other Headmate
Steps two and three are interchangeable in order, but I thought I’d put this one first because it tends to be the one that’s hardest and most distressing, rather than step three, which is about identifying who the hell your headmate is. We’ll get to that, never fear!
So, let’s say you think there might be someone in there. How can you tell for sure? How can you open communication? How can you get them integrated okay?
The bad news is that this depends heavily on the system. The good news is that there’s no need to panic, rush, or be afraid, because once again, you’ll figure it out eventually, and it will be okay!
My first suggestion is to take note of everything that’s made you think there might be someone else in there. Write it down, if that helps! Write down everything that seems to get the entity’s attention, if anything. Write down anything that might help you identify who it might be! In some instances, you might have a character that seems a little independent but you can’t tell whether they’re really a headmate or not. In my experience, this is often how many non-disordered systems (but it’s not exclusive to them!) realise that they’re plural. Knowing who it is will make this step easier, but it isn’t necessary! After all, if you know who it is, you can also write down things that might bait them into responding. Interests and friends of theirs are good examples.
Your goal in this step is to try to draw them out into doing things, speaking, or acting in ways that will give away that they are for certain there. For systems with heavy amnesia or dissociative barriers, this might be significantly harder, but my best suggestion there is to jump straight to trying to communicate, however you can—and this isn’t a bad approach for other systems, either. You can try internal communication, although you might get no response, or an abnormal one, if the headmate is new. For example, with us, new headmates usually respond to direct queries with anxiety—which, while not good for communication and not ideal for the headmate in question, does help us key in on the fact that they definitely exist. You can also try external communication, if internal communication isn’t working or is difficult for you. Write a note in a journal or a sticky note, or even in a notes app or a private Discord server. Sometimes, headmates can find replying over text to be easier. If you’re a high-dissociation and high-amnesia system who is trying to figure out if it’s someone old or new who is fronting and doing things while you’re unaware, leaving sticky notes places asking people to write down who’s fronting when they see it (if they even know who they are) might be helpful. Keep experimenting, and do what works best for you!
As a last resort for uncertain, new, or inexperienced systems, you can try something called “puppeting” on a suspected headmate, especially if you know who they are and just aren’t sure whether or not they’re here. A warning: this is rude and not advised under most circumstances, but sometimes it’s the only way to make absolutely sure that someone is in there with you, especially when you’re not used to it. Have an apology ready and mean it. Puppeting is when you try to force a headmate to do something, especially something unusual or out of character for them. For example, if I thought I might have my character Gorka as a headmate, but I wasn’t sure, I might try to call up a scenario involving Gorka and then try to imagine her doing something wildly out of character, that she would never, ever do. If I couldn’t get a response out of that, or if I had no idea who this new headmate might be, I might just try to make them physically do something—strongly imagining them doing a stupid dance or similar! No response doesn’t necessarily mean you do or do not have a headmate, but a strong response—usually of anger, offense, or “slapping” your “hands” away—indicates someone separate from yourself! Apologize immediately and then attempt to engage in communication once they’ve calmed down a little, or try to transition into it through an explanation.
There are a lot of reasons that a headmate might not respond to puppeting, though. They might be non-confrontational, or hiding their presence from you intentionally for any number of reasons. (Maybe they’re nervous, not ready to exist yet, afraid of how you might respond, afraid of accepting that they’re in a system—it could be anything.) In cases like this, you might just get discomfort instead of a strong response, which is easy to confuse for being your own rather than theirs. Try to sort out whether you just feel strange doing it, or if it’s someone else’s discomfort bleeding through. I know it’s hard, but that’s a difficult thing to give advice for, I’m afraid! Other reasons may be that they just dip from the front when you try (removing themself from your sphere of influence completely), or if they’re a character you frequently play, they might be so used to being pulled around into doing things that it doesn’t bother them, or bothers them so little that you don’t notice.
Usually, if you’re at the point of trying puppeting, there’s enough signs that this person really is a headmate to dissuade you from trying it once you’re a little more used to it. It’s a temporary and unideal tool that should leave your toolbox as soon as you become confident enough to identify new headmates without getting grabby with them. Undoubtedly, trying to establish communication is a better approach, if you can get it to work.
Usually, once we’ve properly spotted a headmate and made it clear to them that we know they’re there, one of two things happens: either they come sit in the front for a few days or weeks to settle in, let us identify them, and get used to being a full active member of the system, or they realise that they exist and have a panic attack. This “new headmate panic” can last anywhere from a few minutes to multiple days, and may fluctuate in strength. Sometimes, a new headmate might seem fine early on, but have this panic after a few days, weeks, or even longer. Be gentle during this time, especially if you yourself have a strong reaction—be gentle with both, or all, of you! Realizing that you’re in a system can be very distressing, as can realizing you have a new headmate, so try to be gentle, let yourself feel what you’re going to feel, and work through it in the best way you have. Try not to direct any anger or negative feelings towards anyone else in your system during this time, and just let the storm pass before really trying to get to know each other.
Step Three: Who Is This Guy, Anyway?
Once again, you can do this step before or after step two, but I put it here because I decided to include some tips for getting to know your headmate, not just identifying them (if there is anything to identify). If your system is introject-heavy, or if you’re asking yourself if you’re just really interested in a character or if they’re a new headmate, this is an important step! Who is this? Are they an introject of some kind? Are they something or someone else? Is there anything to identify, per se, or is it just a situation of getting to know a whole new person? This is a very, very different step depending on your system, and is going to skew very much towards my own experiences. I’m sorry about that, but I will do my best!
If you’ve already established communication with this headmate, even if it’s shaky, you can try to get information from them that way. They might be willing to give you a name, a code name, a colour, an aesthetic, likes or dislikes, something you can use to familiarise yourself with them or identify them from a list of “suspects” if you have such a thing. (We always do, because we’re almost all fictives, and we know our own patterns at this point.) For us, new headmates almost never actually identify, and just sullenly sit while trying to figure themselves out and will only confirm who they are once we figure it out. It’s sort of like playing a mystery game, assembling clues based on a myriad of factors. If you have some suspicions, just like the previous step, you can try to bait out responses by doing things that might interest who you suspect this headmate might be.
Again, I suggest writing things down! Write down likes and dislikes, things that get their attention, interests, even things that make them anxious or afraid. Whether it’s a case of identification or just getting to know them, this is invaluable information for interacting with someone sharing a head with you, and it may even be helpful for them as they get their feet under them.
Another invaluable tool is talking to people outside of your system. They can help you identify when you’re acting unusually, when you might have someone unfamiliar riding co-conscious, and even who that person might be. You may be too tangled up in your own feelings, your dissociation, or the desperation to understand who is in your head with you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds and lose sight of the big picture, but another friend, especially another system that knows you well, can be extremely helpful! One of our system friends has clocked many a headmate of ours before we were even certain they were there—just “hmm, you’ve been very much like X lately” and they were absolutely right.
Regardless, taking notes on your new headmate, asking them about themselves, and sharing things about yourself are all important steps to getting to know them! They may be uncomfortable, they may distrust you, they may be afraid—or they could be friendly and excited to be here! It really depends on who it is and their comfort level. Don’t push—if they’re not comfortable talking yet, don’t make them! Let them adjust at their own pace and get to know them as they’re willing to let you. I know it can be distressing to have a totally unknown entity co-fronting with you, but sometimes it’s one of those things that you have to take a deep breath and carry on through until they’re willing to talk. I know you can do it! Talk through it with someone outside of your own head if it’s difficult to give yourself some fortitude if you need to. I know it helps me.
Step Four: Now What?
Let’s say that you’ve confirmed that you do have a headmate, and either have or are on the road to identifying them, if applicable. Now what?
As I’ve said before: be gentle with yourselves! Especially for a new or inexperienced system, and especially for someone who is just realising that they’re a system, this can be overwhelming, distressing, or any other number of emotions. Remember that having or gaining headmates isn’t inherently a bad thing, and while this all might take some getting used to, it’s going to be okay. You’ll figure out an equilibrium eventually, and it is absolutely possible to live a long, happy life with your headmates. Remember that you’re all in this together, and you’re a team.
People may not want you to notice them, may not want to be in the system, or may avoid attention as best they can for a lot of reasons, and trying to make them feel at home, or at least more comfortable, is essential. It can be scary being in a system all of a sudden, especially if they’re an introject or otherwise had a life outside or before this one. Maybe they don’t like the body, or are afraid of another headmate, or are terrified of a negative response from you or someone else. Don’t force these people into situations they’re not ready for! If you’re looking for someone, trying to identify them, or trying to help them, and you’re just causing a lot of distress, back off for a while. Let them calm down and come to you in their own time. Sometimes, you have to do the system equivalent of leaving cookies out on a plate and turning your back to them so that your new headmate can take them without being watched. Take things at the pace that you’re all the most comfortable with, and as always, be kind.
I really do suggest talking to someone about this process, if you can. Journal if you’d like, especially if you can’t trust anyone with this, or don’t feel comfortable doing so yet. Getting your words out of your head helps you sort them out a lot, especially in the case of systems, where a lot of people’s thoughts can get jumbled together. Writing them all down, even if you don’t know whose they are, can be helpful. We find that talking to other system friends is of the most benefit, and our new members are far more likely to speak to them first rather than us, because there’s a degree of separation and that’s more comfortable for them. Whatever works for you, do it! The idea is to get comfortable with each other, and with being here together.
Find things that your new headmate likes doing. Goratrix has a whole panel about this aimed at fictives, but essentially, if your new headmate doesn’t have reason to front and isn’t interested in anything, you probably won’t see much of them, and they may end up miserable. Make sure you engage with them and their interests. Let them make friends if they’d like. Get them snacks. Again: whatever works! This is going to depend very heavily on your system, so follow your gut instinct on this one, I think.
Absolutely essential, though, is to not repress anybody. I know sometimes getting a new headmate can be scary, especially if they’re unfamiliar, frightening, seemingly monstrous, or a persecutor, but remember: they’re probably just as freaked out as you are, if not more so, and they need patience and understanding. Statistically, if they’re doing something troublesome, they’re trying to help and just don’t know how, or are misguided on what “help” looks like. Be kind, and try to find a solution that works for everyone.
Past that… just get to know each other. Figure out how to live together and how to make your combined life the best life it can be. For us, there’s so many of us that someone new can almost always find a fast friend in someone else, and sticks with them for a while until they’re more used to the system and more confident fronting and doing things without their buddy. Other systems may be able to mimic this approach, or may need to do something very different. Again, again, again, do what works best for you! If parts of this guide seem unhelpful or counterproductive, ignore them! This is based on our experience of plurality, not yours. Always do what’s best for you, what helps the most of you, and what causes the least distress while still letting you function as much as you need to.
Being plural is a very personal experience, in a lot of ways, which is pretty funny because sometimes that personal experience is spread across two or twenty or five hundred people. It’s also a very personalized experience, meaning we’re all quite different. Your “now what?” might look very different from ours, and that’s okay. We can only do our best, and that’s always good enough.
I hope this is helpful to someone! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I may edit this guide in the future if it seems that I left something out or think of anything to add. =)