Actually Osdd - Tumblr Posts

man i fucking hate trauma. it just *has* to hit whenever we feel fine, yknow? especially because its not my fucking trauma. i exist because of it but its not shit i went through.

one of the nonhuman alters has been around for the last couple days and i love the baby.

we've gotten a number of YCH commissions of him.. should we post them?

our memory has gone to total crap after a new trauma that happened.

the person who caused that trauma keeps saying we're using it as an excuse.

we're not- we genuinely forget things almost as soon as they happen at this point. we forget what we're talking about from one word to the next in worst case scenarios. we forget to text people for anywhere from five minutes to hours. we forget that we have to stay awake to do our online college work.

the person who says we're making excuses?

our partner system and fiancé.

sort of self portrait of what i look like in my animal form. i'm the one who drew the panda. call me void.

give us a color and we'll talk about a place in our inner world or a role we have in our system that we immediately think of

ex: green = greenhouse

we're going to talk about a particular area of our headspace that we view as really important for us.

the greenhouse.

the greenhouse is a massive building that functions as a place where we can work with persecutors on their behaviour while also giving them an outlet for those behaviours.

for example: an alter who held our internalized homophobia and transphobia, who refused to call the body by anything but our birth name and she/her, has been a frequent visitor/someone who lives there to work on the behaviour at the behest of our gatekeepers. she was given a space to be angry, to be hurt, to be whatever she felt at the time. she had a space where she could regulate, be alone or with others, whatever she chose. now, she accepts that our body is transitioning, that our host is transgender, and that we use another name. she still stays there, because she knows she has more to learn, and because she wants to keep that comfortable space she has there.

our greenhouse may contain plants and things to take care of, but it's a space where we provide care for alters who need it.

it's structured in a specific way, which we separate by calling them "rings."

the outer ring contains things like therapy offices, a clinic, and recovery rooms for those who need medical attention.

the inner ring has rooms for the alters who stay there, as well as the rooms of the people who 'work' there, and a sort of common area.

then there's what we call the oculus or atrium, which is the true 'greenhouse' area. it's full of plant life, soil, fields, things of that nature.

there's a specific area that has privacy barriers that sort of belongs to Argosa. it exists on a separate plane, but is still part of the greenhouse, as you can only access it from there or via invitation by Argosa.

the entirety of the greenhouse is a place for recuperation, recovery, whatever you need it to be. it's a space that we all appreciate greatly in headspace.

thanks for reading. we know it's long, but we hope this gives an idea of how we function together and work towards being healthy with and for each other as a system so we can live together.

going trick or treating dressed as one of our fictives is peak halloween-loving system culture.

letting the fictive front during is even more fun.

for inhuman alters: what's your favourite feature on your inner world body/form?

mine, personally, are my antlers and tail. sure, having to scratch the velvet off can be annoying, but they make me feel stronger and more valid as a male. and with my tail, i don't have to verbally communicate if i'm sensing an alter who could be more dangerous (loosely using the term- i don't like to use it but i'm mostly referring to the ones that we actively have to avoid, ones that are persecutory towards myself, or an alter who is possibly a threat to the body if i'm in front.)

whitetail!

TW for artistic nudity and scars under the cut but I drew some refs of myself (Without my hair, so I could show off the stuff under it.)

Probably gonna commission a friend to draw me so I can use it as my icon in places.

BAPH - ⛧

Another self portrait - tw for sh scars and artistic nudity.

Also I called myself a sticky note serial killer because I've already used 6 of them and I've only been drawing for like an hour and a half.

- BAPH ⛧

I don't have our skintone markers but this is what I did.

just gonna post all my art i've done

the baph masterpost i guess? - BAPH ⛧

alright. all art is done by •X•, barring the ones of sheep. those were done by sheep.

been a while, have alter art. drawn by the lth while cocon with the alter being drawn.

moth...

tw for sh and eyestrain

S3LF PORTR41T!!!! 1 LOOOOV3 HOW 1 D1D TH1S P13C3!!!!! X3

alter art drawn by someone who helps us with dpdr issues. yesterday/today's been rough.

tw for nonsense imagery, slight hinted blood/injury, non-faced individuals, scopophobia/eyes, ken doll body style

Could you explain to me what the "endogenics" in your pinned post refers to? (Apologies if the term turns out to include me; I did some googling but wasn't sure what, if any, of what I found was what you were referring to.) Thanks!

Systems that claim to have formed without trauma/by will/etc. This disorder is not fun, and it forms because of repetitive and overwhelming childhood trauma. Endogenic "systems" claim to have this disorder without trauma, but it specifically forms as a way to cope with and survive trauma.

commissions open for $5! headshots (shoulders up) or chibis of anyone in your system you want.

“No One’s Ever Really Gone” is the Quote that comes to our mind when we think of fusion. If your a System you probably experienced this one, one way or another, and when that happens there’s a certain type of loss that happens not like oh that part is gone forever because their characteristic is sprinkled throughout different parts or one part, but they are not their own identity anymore. Either fusion happens voluntarily or involuntarily but We/I try to think this quote that Luke Skywalker said. “No One’s Ever Really Gone”