Traumagenic - Tumblr Posts

systems of all kinds that have aphantasia, here's it to you guys.

it can be hard seeing everyone talk about visualization and most advice being about visualization, when you just can't do that.

you're not broken or less of a system for that.

you're a part of the natural variation of systemhood and plurality. your experiences are just as important as anyone else.

and!! i hope your day gets better

For anyone wondering, the terms OSDD-1b and OSDD-1a have roots in the DSM-IV but aren't considered an official diagnosis any more. By all means, keep using the terms if they help you to differentiate and find community, just know they're not official diagnoses.

GOOD POST. LONG POST BUT GOOD POST.

This book- The Haunted Self is available online as a pdf if you know where to look :)

Why Alters Are All You, & The Formation Of DID

Tw for talk of abuse (implications to different types), trauma, unsafe caregivers, trauma responses, homophobia, and brief talk of death. We're talking about the formation of DID, childhood trauma, please be cautious if you continue.

Let's discuss what people say is the basics of Dissociative Identity Disorder, its formation. The current leading theory is the Theory of Structural Dissociation (ToSD). Yes, we still need to know more about this disorder, but this is the current leading theory and was written by Ellert R. Nijenhuis, Kathy Steele, and Onno Van Der Hart. They took some research, ideas, and words from other authors and researchers, added their research and ideas, mixed it all together and presented us with the ToSD in their book: The Haunted Self.

Now, there are plenty of problems with the theory, and I know that Hart and other researchers you see in this field haven't been the best people. However, it is currently the leading theory. Colin A Ross spoke about numerous problems with the theory, but he even states that this theory is a significant contribution. While yes, it isn't perfect, and any scientific theory can and should be constantly improved on, its pretty damn good. What I understood from reading Ross' response, the understanding it gives us of DID is good, the issue is when it addresses other disorders, or lack there of. I will state, before going onto my point of the post, that Ross mentions that there is confusion of what counts as an emotional part (EP). In the sense of, how differentiated does an EP need to be, to count as a separate dissociated state?

I don't want to go into that all today, because I'm not a professional and cannot confirm what would count, at least in Ross' eyes.

What I want to talk about, is what the ToSD does give us, and why it explains that all parts/alters are You.

Now, I know I will get a lot of hate for this. So all I'll say is that: I'm willing to discuss this matter further, however I will not tolerate any insults, threats, belittlement, or any other kinds of hate. If you are mature, I'm open to discussion.

The ToSD states that everyone is born with ego states. These states are in charge of meeting specific needs. A child needs love, affection, food, comfort, sleep, etc etc. If a child is able to dissociate to a high level, has a disorganised attachment to their primary caregiver (which is inherently traumatic), and experiences repeated childhood trauma, they can potentially develop DID.

If a child experiences trauma, their brain is going to do its absolute best to protect them. They may fight, flight, or freeze (especially if it is repeated). Maybe all three. That child may subconsciously think that if they were a different gender, or a different age, or maybe if they were stronger or scarier, they could prevent this from happening to them. Maybe they felt like they deserved this pain, that they're an awful monster, or just a toy or an animal to their abusers. Maybe they just refused to accept this was happening to them because if it did, they would be dead.

Their brain will do anything it can to try and prevent and explain this trauma.

They may try to seek help from caregivers, but remember, in the case of DID, that child will have some kind of disorganised attachment. That child will not feel safe enough to tell them about this trauma, or if they do, they aren't supported in the way they need to heal and process. Maybe their caregivers are the source of this trauma, they have already tried to tell them to stop.

Nothing is working, this child is essentially trapped.

So, like I said earlier, this child's subconscious is working on overdrive and trying its absolute best to survive this. Dissociation is a very complex and extraordinary coping mechanism.

So the child pushes away the trauma, dissociating so chronically they disconnect to everything happening, and themselves. This dissociation is keeping those different ego states separated, preventing from them integrating during childhood. Instead, this dissociation basically creates amnesiac barries between each ego state. If that dissociation wasn't there, those states would try to integrate, but because some experienced trauma, they cannot harmoniously coexist. This is the differentiation between ANP's and EP's. ANP's (apparently normal parts) are the parts that are in charge of daily living, they are disconnected from any trauma. EP's (emotional parts) are the parts that remember or are connected to different traumas. EP's dont have to be emotional, it simply is to refer to the parts that are connected to trauma.

Anyway, mini ramble aside. ANP's and EP's are separated from each other, they still are aiming to meet certain needs for the child/person now. That's why it is so helpful or common for systems to catagorise alters into roles. Some parts are simply trauma responses, some exist to make friendships and connections, some have very specific roles/needs they meet, some alters exist to soothe, or protect, or whatever. They are still dissociated parts, aiming to meet needs.

All alters are still dissociated from each other, and some may believe they are the only one there, or the "original" because they are an ANP or host. Again there is not an "original" because the full personality was never whole to begin with. You started with different ego states, and you still are different ego states (obviously alters have grown and developed (but still not fully)).

So with that being understood, lets address the title of this post. All alters are You. Thinking about everything I have addressed for far, all alters are dissociated from each other, so what do you mean there can be a "You"? Again, I'm not talking about an "original", I'm talking about all aspects of the Self that is being dissociated from.

I used to find this fact absolutely ridiculous and hurtful and dismissing. But after starting to learn more about this disorder, working on self validation, and starting on trauma processing, it has made it so much easier to understand.

I, Virgil, am a part of Clem and Skye. Clem and Skye are parts of me. And this is the same for all alters. We are all different ego states that are dissociated from each other, from the Self.

So, what happens if we all fuse? And no, I'm not saying that's the only way to heal, I'm just trying to put this in perspective. If we all fuse, we would be dissociating so much less, we would be fused ego states and we'd create a fully formed and developed personality. We are all parts, and if we fuse, we create a whole.

A whole that we are no longer dissociating from. We will be the whole Self, the whole "You". We will not be dissociating from each other.

I cannot express this enough, fusions happen when you no longer need alters to be separated, they can exist harmoniously, they share emotions and thoughts and feelings and they are not dissociated from each other. There is no memory amnesia, or identity amnesia between them.

Again to clarify, all alters are dissociated ego states that grow and develop, and then if you all fuse, that is when the Self is no longer dissociated from. You'll finally be a complete You.

Another thing I want to address is differing opinions of alters. Let's use another hypothetical. Let's say you have like five different alters that are all queer in some way, but you have five that are cisgender and straight. Two of those cishet alters are homophobic and transphobic. So, if you all fuse, what will you identify as? While I cannot say anything for certain, I can take a big guess and say that no matter what you identify as, you may not be homophobic/transphobic. In this hypothetical, I'm assuming those alters have those beliefs because of things they experienced growing up. Internalised homophobia and all that. As you process trauma and become more accepting of yourself, and you fuse, I would guess those parts are no longer dissociated from that queer identity, whatever that identity may be.

I hope this makes sense. While alters can and do grow outside of trauma, those foundations are shaped because of the experiences of the child. Age, gender, opinions, personality, species, and even sexuality, can all be based and rooted in that trauma and experiences.

Healing from that trauma means reconnecting with the Self, whatever that looks like for you. It may not be the singlet persona many systems use, it may not be the host, it may be something different than what you originally thought. But it will be You and it will be right. It will be the Self that you've finally reconnected with.

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough. TLDR: all alters are You, and if you fuse, you will reconnect with the Self that was originally being dissociated from.

small edit: it is okay if you aren’t ready to accept alters and trauma. but that doesn't change the fact that you're all dissociated parts ✌️

Hi! I'd love a rundown of why you use PluralKit and Tupperbox! I've not looked much into did management apps before tbh

Awesome! This is adding on from this post about SimplyPlural.

Your main options for tracking apps are SimplyPlural and Octocon.

Octocon is currently only available on android while SimplyPlural is on web, android, iOS and can be run as a program/pinned to taskbar on Windows (I don't know how but one of my sysmates installed it as a web app program 😅).

Main options for discord proxying (or messaging as an individual); PluralKit, Tupperbox and Octocon. All three are added to a server as a bot, and allow for a proxy/app message that displays as a different username but remains linked to your account.

Using commands specific to each application, users can find out who posted each message.

Okay so back to the question

Why do we use TB and SimplyPlural instead of the alternatives?

SimplyPlural

Super easy explanation: we've been using SimplyPlural longer than Octocon has been around. We've got about 16 months worth of tracking data, friends, 40 or so custom fields saved in it, along with all our alters and personal info. Making the switch to Octocon was something we tried when it was first announced, but we decided against it after giving it a test run as both an app and as a discord bot. We had some issues with importing custom fields and image hosting.

For those of you who don't know, custom fields are categories, or questions that you can ask an alter to fill in; some come built in like favourite colour, food etc, however you can also add your own as needed. Ours include everything from name, internal relationships (e.g. alter A hates alter B but adores alter C, alter C is alter D's child, alter C and B are siblings etc), skills, favourite things, and positive/negative triggers, amongst other things. We use them all the time, and a fair number of our alters have filled in the questions - losing that information was not something we wanted to do (..or heaven forbid... copying all of it over from existing SimplyPlural profiles). I suspect this is something that Atlas, the developer, is working on.

Presently, Octocon doesn't have the functionality we need/are used to from SimplyPlural. Sooo, onto some positives; things we adore about SimplyPlural

>The ability to host images within custom fields and alter descriptions, using '' allowing us to do things like this...

Kaden learnt how to do this and posted about it at the time, since then he has since been slowly explaining to the rest of us how to do it.

Our SimplyPlural profiles are one of the places where we can be fully ourselves without worrying as much about the collective's outward appearance etc; some of us dress our profiles up with collages, fancy text, banners, and flags while others just have a bit of information or an empty bio; it's completely up to the individual (and not being biased or anything, but our personalities really show up in profiles).

> Front history

Having a full breakdown of fronters past (as long as they log it) is super helpful, especially when our therapist wants to check in on triggers etc. It also helps us to figure out when an alter may have gone dormant or may only appear at specific times. I specifically like that it gives you a visual breakdown of who was fronting during what time, and it holds information on individual alter profiles about when they fronted, and for how long.

>Privacy buckets

This is something I posted about a few days ago. The current beta version has reworked the privacy settings from public (all friends), trusted friends (selected people) and private (your system only) to entirely in the user's control. Instead of having 3 options, you can make specific categories for groups of friends, or even label each of your friends with one bucket and choose each alter, custom field and custom front they can see.

@persmo made a really detailed post on this in late August that I've linked here.

>Friends

The ability to change the amount of data friends are able to see (eg. ee shared members, see fronter etc)

>Message Boards

Each profile has their own message board. Messages left on boards send a notification to the phone when that specific alter fronts, meaning if someone forgets to check the shared chat, they still get the information. Notifications will continue being sent every time they mark front until that alter marks the message as read.

Being able to leave messages for each other has been a literal lifesaver.

>In-system Chat

SimplyPlural has a section where you can chat solely within your system. It functions a bit like Discord in the way that you set up sections with individual chats inside of them.

We use them for fun things like silly quotes, reading logs, infodumping, as well as more serious things - if something happened to someone we love, we'd mark it in there to make sure the information is passed on to those who need to know.

>Groups

Alter groups are incredibly helpful for us, even though we're a relatively small system. We use them as tags for interests, roles, ages and tagging sources for our few introjects.

Tagging interests and roles often ends up looking like this 😆 I promise it makes sense to us... ish.

>Analytics

System analytics is one of the features we use a lot in therapy, especially now that we have more than 6 months data saved in SP tracking. We can see at a glance how much one alter has fronted in a set amount of time, and how many times they have tracked as fronter.

>App reminders

SimplyPlural allows for users to set reminders at specific times (eg. everyday at 3pm take your meds) but also that the reminders are sent after an action happens. We have an automatic reminder set up for a set amount of time after someone marks front, to make sure they are still fronting.

>Honourable mentions

System polls

Switch notifications (both for our friends and for when our system friends switch)

'Quick front entries' - adding a member to front history if they didn't track

User reports; reports generated by SimplyPlural that remain attached to a URL that can be sent to family, friends, therapists etc without giving your SimplyPlural username or making them get the app.

Cross platform support: SimplyPlural runs on android, iOS and web, meaning as long as our friends have a log in they can use it... and we can run it on all our devices.

I've totally missed some things, but they're the most important points

TupperBox

This section is shorter, promise.

We chose TupperBox over PluralKit and Octocon as we didn't want to have any personal data (beyond names) linked to our discord. PluralKit has the capacity to have member profiles, however the trade-off is having a system ID number that is attached to every member profile (no matter how tight your privacy is) that can be used by anyone to pull up any linked information that's marked public. More information on why here.

PluralKit makes users automatically public with commands and the online portal being the only way to change it. Unfortunately, many treat PluralKit as if it's private and often include extremely personal things in their descriptions (triggers, sexuality, etc). More conversation on that here.

Unfortunately, I don't have much experience with Octocon's integration on Discord, but I have heard pretty good things about it.

Tupperbox has less functionality than PluralKit and Octocon in that it's mostly streamlined for role-playing simplicity. All that displays when you send a proxy message is the name of the tupper/user and an optional profile picture, which we drastically prefer. It sucks not being able to bring up a profile to say who we are, but we'd rather have that than have our PluralKit leaked.

All of this is personal preference, use whatever you find works best! :)

About the account saying it's okay to post endos to syscringe. Even when I was anti endo (not anymore), that is one of the things I hated the most. I have been posted there and even in my most anti endo moments, I stood by the fact I would rather side with endos than fakeclaimers.

NOBODY deserves that. Those people are awful and terrible. Doesn't matter if someone believes endos aren't "real systems," they. do. not. deserve. that.

People like that are a big reason I left being an anti endo (among personal reasons and personal growth.) Fakeclaiming and posting endos because you think they "deserve it" is bs.

It just gets my blood boiling. Big reason I'm pro endo now. Don't care what you think, don't care what you believe, there are people behind those accounts. Even in my worst anti endo phase, I would never wish that on anyone. It is not cool to post them there. Cause it doesn't matter if they're an endo system or not, those two subreddits are so awful.

These are real people dealing with stuff and trying to live their lives and have their blogs. NOBODY deserves to be posted there to be mocked. And even if for some reason endos did "deserve it" (which they do NOT), it quickly slips into transphobia and many far worse issues than just fakeclaiming. Those people are absolutely awful. Not a single person deserves to be posted there no matter if they're a terrible person or if someone thinks endos "deserve it." Nobody deserves that. Endos do not deserve that. These are real people facing mockery and harassment and bullying just because you (general you at folks that do this bs) think they deserve it. That has just been so infuriating to me for months. Even in my anti endo phase, I would ALWAYS rather side with endos. Because they're not the ones fakeclaiming, being violently transphobic, and whatever other shit those damn subreddits do. They literally posted one of our vents once. Because they thought we were faking. Nobody deserves to be posted there and I will always fucking stand by that.

Blocked that account so fast when I saw that because no. Pretty sure that account had other issues we were upset over too, but can't remember.

And to everyone that has ever been posted and who may end up being posted, your experiences are real. If it helps you then that is what matters. You are believed and you will be supported. You can't unknowingly fake something. Your lived experiences cannot be dictated by a stranger. And I am so sorry if anyone has posted you there. I hope you have good things come your way. You matter and you are wonderful and you exist and affect so many people's lives in good ways even if you don't see it. <3

Just had to get that off my chest. I love you endos and fuck anyone that thinks you deserve to be posted there. Cause you do not.

KHFJDFHJ YES YES YES YYSSSSSSSSSSSSS <3 quite a few anti-endo accounts say that they're fine with endos being posted, forgetting that they're real people. I don't really care what you believe about the legitimacy of non-trauma sourced systems, posting anyone to that sub is unkind.

Being posted to that Subreddit is so unpleasant, no matter whether you are faking or not. Syscringe don't care whether someone has a professional diagnosis, or whether they're doing it for clout or whatever reason; it harms everyone, CDD systems, DID systems, undiagnosed systems, medically recognised systems, endo systems and anyone else — just please... don't post to that Subreddit.

The only way to stop those kinds of pages is to stop interacting with them; don't like, comment, upvote (I think that's what it's called on Reddit), or interact.

Hey! Saw your post about Octacon, just wondering what your experience with it is/if it's worth checking out as an alternative to Simply plural? We're just not personally fans of Sp's layout and have only just heard of Octacon

It's 100% a viable alternative to SimplyPlural if you're on android - it's not on iOS yet, last I heard iOS is in development and aiming to be launched in late 2024/early 2025. Octocon doesn't have the web app version (yet) so if that's something you use a lot then it may not work out as well.

SP vs Octo layout

If you find SP's layout pesky, definitely give Octo a go! Currently, Octo doesn't have quite as many features as SimplyPlural but it's a very new app atm and it's improving very quickly :)

If you use discord a lot; it also has a baked in set of features, similar to TupperBox and PluralKit that allow for proxy messaging

There's a lot of information available octo's discord if you're curious: link (https://discord.com/invite/octocon)

[and a little reminder that octo is aimed at CDDs but they aren't banning any systems with other origins from using it — full details of post in alt text]

Plus, Octo has a minecraft server for Patreon supporters if that's something you're into XD

We have another post explaining our personal usage of SP if anyone is curious

I saw this thumbnail on YouTube and just, had to turn it into a shit post.

Tbh I think everyone would be better off if we put all syscourse stances in a PVP battle in Minecraft and let them get their stress out.

Call that syscraft.

when u dont know whos fronting and someone asks who u are

little: enjoying new plushie

frickin adult protecter switched out by trigger:

"why.the.f^ck.do.we.have.such.a.huge..ass.stuffie."

It sucks that there are so many anti endos in the traumagenic tag. Even though we've mostly distanced ourselves from the 'endo' origin term, it's still frustrating to see so much hostility towards others who happen to have different system experiences.

It's so much easier to just be chill about things like endogenic systems, I truly don't understand why someone would waste their time screaming about something they won't bother to understand.

Endogenic Systems and Experiences in the Neurodivergent Community

We tend to stay mostly on the fringes of syscourse nowadays without directly interacting with it too often but I'm going to post this more broadly and less focused on our specific instance of this because community-wise I think it's important to talk about.

Endogenic and other non-traumagenic systems are so commonly excluded from so many neurodivergent-safe spaces where they would otherwise be able to gain knowledge about the disorders they might have, share experiences and coping strategies with peers, or at least have a sense of community that is so commonly valuable to disabled and/or neurodivergent people. In a lot of cases, even people who only support non-traumagenic systems get shoved out.

[Continued under the readmore as it's long.]

This obviously harms non-traumagenic systems, but I have to point out that when people sit there and say "we care about REAL disabled people!", I have to say.... Do you? Because if you did care about those with mental illness, physical disability or neurodivergence, you in my mind wouldn't exclude them based on something unrelated to the topic itself which might even be something as small as holding an opinion that other people get to be the judge of their own experiences. You can say that you care about "real" disabled people, but what about when a traumagenic DID system also has a tulpa that they consider just as valid and real as their alters? What about when a system labels themselves as quoigenic because in reality, you owe no one the knowledge that you are vulnerable and traumatised? What about when a system starts out as endogenic but gains so much trauma later on that they develop dissociative symptoms?

We're quoigenic because while yes we are diagnosed with DID:

DID does not have trauma in the diagnostic criteria so our diagnosis doesn't mean anything by way of origin. Nontraumagenic is not the same as nondisordered the same way that traumagenic isn't the same as disordered.

We cannot remember a time before we were plural so we cannot say with accuracy what our actual origin was.

We have headmates we consider to be from both traumagenic and endogenic origins and it feels unfair to pick one.

We don't owe anyone a quick little "hey, we have trauma!" flag on our pinned post which can easily paint us as a target. This is the exact reason we don't share our triggers online--it's not safe.

You don't owe anyone personal medical information including your diagnostic history, your trauma history or lack thereof, your current medications or how many times you've been in a hospital. That is your business and yours alone to decide who you share it with. It's downright dangerous to share some of it, especially so publically. So who is anyone online that clearly isn't your specific medical practitioner to decide whether your experiences are real enough to allow you into spaces meant for a usually completely unrelated thing? Why would someone holding the opinion that endogenic systems get to decide what labels they use be denied access to spaces just because they support people with differing beliefs and/or experiences?

If we as a system with multiple disabilities want to go into a space for people who are schizoaffective because we need others who won't immediately jump on the ableism train when discussing something we're diagnosed with that has so much stigma, should we be denied that just because we don't label our origin with a clear-cut "we are traumatized!!" label? Should we be denied access to spaces because we don't want to sit around and smile while parts of our system and other members of our community are called fake and evil and whatever else they come up with? It's so common in spaces for people with disabilities to be exclusive to traumagenic systems and people with an anti-endogenic mindset that people don't realise they're not only hurting the endogenic community, but literal chunks of their own community itself.

I can't even begin to understand the reason why.

Endogenic systems by just existing do not cause harm. They're not like a transphobe you would not be safe around by default of having a label. Not every nontraumagenic system is a saint but if you took any communtiy and called everyone in it the equivalent of an unproblematic holy angel, you'd be lying. People are bad in every community, some worse than others, but the nontraumagenic system community literally just wants to exist--and yes, sometimes a nontraumagenic system (or supporter of such) does have dissociative symptoms, or maybe they have autism, or maybe they're physically disabled. Should they be not allowed access just because of the way they chose to label their system, or their opinion of people picking their own labels for their personal identity?

What exactly is the reason they're so excluded everywhere? I'd try to assume that this level of exclusion (to the point of endos being on DNIs next to transphobes and racists) would mean there's some real harm being done on a community-wide scale, but even when looking for it there isn't any explanation we've been able to find. "They're fake" is all we seem to see which has no actual backing whatsoever. "They're harmful" is another but.. How? We might be looking in the wrong places, but we have never seen an actual explanation for how nontraumagenic systems cause harm as a community just by being themselves.

At this point, I have to wonder how many people who say "we care about real disabled people!" are just covering up their "we care about socially acceptable disabled people who I understand and/or do not find cringey" sentiment instead. Being neurodivergent should never be about fitting into tight little boxes--it's part of the whole point of having a community like this. You're not the majority, and that's okay. So why are we dividing the disabled community into boxes too?

Of course, this doesn't only apply to ND spaces. LGBT+ spaces are similar and even more divided from the concept of being a system that it makes even less sense to block nontraumagenic systems from entering the space. How does their system origin relate to their LGBT+ identity? Sometimes it can, but should a trans person be excluded from a trans space because they have a friend who is an endogenic system and they support them fully?

Overall, the main point is that it makes no sense whatsoever to be anti-endo in general, let alone so violently anti-endogenic system to the point where you hurt members of your own community due to it. Sometimes from something as simple as them supporting endogenics alone. Your safe spaces aren't actually safe if you exclude a nonharmful group who also belong in that space due to having a personal identity or opinion different to yours. If you want somewhere to be a safe, inclusive space, it should include everyone as long as letting those people in won't cause harm. People who are seeking to cause harm (racists, transphobes, etc) obviously do not belong in a safe space because they seek to harm others, thus making the space unsafe. But people who just want to be themselves without harming anyone should be included in your space if they fall under whatever it may be topic-wise. Even the "cringey" ones. Even the ones who don't quite make sense to you or have "contradicting" labels. Even the ones who use labels completely differently to the way you do. And even the ones who are uninformed or misinformed but trying their best to learn. Your safe space is not safe if it excludes those who do not follow your every single mindset and thought without any deviation.

If your trauma caused you to split, then you were traumatized 'enough' to be traumagenic/have DID, OSDD or what have you. Trauma isn't always from a parent: it can be peer bullying/shunning, sibling abuse, near death experiences, experiencing death of a loved one or even a stranger, medical trauma, etc.

I will go one step further and say that if your system experience isn't purely traumagenic, and you're pushed out of supposed safe spaces because of it, don't feel pressured to change the labels that feel right for y'all. I have half a heart to not post this in traumagenic tags, because SO MANY traumagenic systems are anti endo it seems. But mixed origin systems exist, endo systems exist, non-disordered traumagenic systems exist, etc and plurality is such a large umbrella of different experiences (even yours!).

You're doing nothing wrong by existing.

I will forever believe that sysmedicalism is so much more harmful than a plushiegenic endo system or whatever. One is just trying to live and the other is policing systems and putting them into boxes, dismissing 'actual' systems with DID etc because they aren't exactly like them, etc

shoutout to that one person who thought me acknowledging endo and mixed origin systems was 'the opposite of affirming', gotta be one of my favorite genders

im goijg crazy bcs disboard wont take my server so im advertising this EVERYWHERE i can bcs im tired asf

﹒⟡﹒welcome to below the code！﹒🌊 below the code is a frutiger aero themed discord server aimed towards DID systems and kinitopet, bugbo, and regretevator fans！！ we are pro-recovery and anti-endo, age range of 14-19, open to partnerships！ ﹒🪸 https://discord.com/invite/qzD4rusv6c

Denial part, analyze Why? from a not judging way. For me I knew these ‘symptoms’ was odd before knowing a lot about System stuff and in those times I never said I was faking. I’ve always been like “I have these weird things happen so not gonna tell anyone.”

And denial in itself is a protective mechanism.

If it does turn out I’m wrong then I’m wrong and that’s okay 😊

Like for example in 2017,2018,2019 I thought I was FTM (mostly cause another part) now I feel more like non-binary, it’s ok if things change.

+ I tell myself for me treating the other part as others and not me has it helped? For me yes, it has made it so I understand more about our past, less inner conflict, less flashbacks, and more open communication between and with outside folks. I always had my body and my brain doesn’t match what’s happening type speech to each therapist I have.

To any P-DID sys or Osdd-1b sys

(or others with little to now amnesia and rarely fully switch. I'm only mentioning these because I've heard/researched that this is the term for this type of sys)

What exactly is it like when you switch, as a questioning OSDD-1b sys and around the possible same line as P-DID, I've been having massive denial that I'm faking even though I know I've had a switch in some way, but I (the host) is always somewhat conscious even if my entire identity is override and I have emotional amnesia right after (if this makes sense I'm praying it does).

Also anyone know how to help with denial? Because It makes it hard to genuinely figure this out while whenever I try to I instantly get "ur faking this isn't actually happening" feeling/thoughts

Also plz correct me if I'm wrong about any information, I've done a few years research but I understand if I might mistaken somethings :3

-📜

.

Uhh... No we don't. Punks do not protect endos and never will. Keep dreaming tho <3

What kind of anarchist is pro-psychiatry, not for plural liberation, and denies the expansion of the perspective of the plural experience beyond disorder? don't make me laugh.

Real Punks protect endogenic systems.

I am going to go out on record right now. In the past, we supported AspenFrostEN. This stance has changed. As of now, we no longer support her or her discord server.

Being in her server caused us to revert to the same mindsets and behaviors that caused our system in the first place. Yes, it helped us realize bad behaviors that syscord burned into us, but that fact is no longer redeeming.

I am aware that Aspen has blatantly said her server isn't a safe space, but after being in that server and experiencing shit first hand, the unsafeness is not because of fake disorder cringe camping out inside. It's her own behavior and moderation team.

I am not looking to expose her, as I don't have the energy to. Continue supporting her if you want, that's not my business. I can't decide who you should and shouldn't support. But if you are in support of Aspen, kindly unfollow us and block us if you have to.

Also, no, this doesn't mean we're converting to the endos or pro-endos. We are still heavily anti-endo. That stance will not change.

saw that you were the one in aspen’s tiktok- im so sorry, you didn’t deserve that at all…

idk why they offer themselves as a safe space if they are anything but… i really thought they were chill, and i’m sorry you were on the receiving end of their bs :( (- lei)

thank you for the kind words ^^ yeah since that all went down things have been kinda hard. at least now that I'm out of it I can be more vocal and open about how shit they are.

I'm really glad that others share my sentiment. it's helped me process and also realize that holy shit they've been awful for so long