Incorrect Harry Potter Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Remus: I’ll have the salad; no nuts, please.
Waiter: Of course.
Sirius: It didn’t say it had nuts.
Remus: I’m allergic, so I tell them just to be safe.
Sirius: That makes sense.
Waiter: And for you?
Sirius: Steak; no bees, please.
Hermione: How are you not fucking terrified right now?
Harry: Compared to summers with the Dursley’s, this is actually rather tame.
Peter: Just be yourself.
Sirius: Be myself? Peter, I have one day to win the death eaters over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
James: Couple weeks.
Lily: Six months.
Remus: Jury’s still out.
Sirius: See, Peter? “Be myself.” What kind of garbage advice is that?
Ron: Do you ever wonder if you’re the bad guy in someone else’s story?
Harry: Dude, I’m the bad guy in my own story.
Fred and George: Mum, were we adopted?
Molly: No, why the fuck would I pick you two?
Hermione: I think I’m bi
Harry: which one?
Hermione: what do you mean?
Harry: bisexual? bilingual? bipolar?
Ron: I know
Ron: a bitch
YES I can totally see this happening like:
Draco, in the Great Hall, rambling to Pansy: And then I saw the cutest puppy EVER, in this little tu tu- shit Potter’s here-
Draco: Yeah, and then this asshole came up to me and I punched him right smack in the face… *turning his head around subtly to see if Harry heard him*
Pansy:
Draco:
Draco: yeah so anyways-
what if Draco doesn’t actually swagger all the time? What if he just does that every time Harry is around bc he’s trying to impress him
*The marauders talking in the afterlife*
James: “Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was” MATE WHAT THE FUCK
Sirius: NO REALLY REMUS WHAT
James: *looks at Sirius* WHEN DID WE EVER LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE
Sirius: I think I might’ve gone to the bathroom once?
James: Oh yes and I blinked one time
James: *to Sirius* Can you be any more gay?
Sirius:
James: Don't answer that.
Incorrect HP Quotes #1
Hermione: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Ron: Okay, but in my defense, Harry bet me 5 galleons I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Hermione: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!?!
Incorrect HP Quote #2
Ginny: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Hermione: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Harry: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!
Ron: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Ginny: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
Incorrect HP Quote #2
Ginny: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Hermione: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Harry: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!
Ron: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Ginny: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
Incorrect HP Quote #3
Ginny: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it.
Ron: Just rip the bandage off.
Ginny: It's Harry.
Ron: Put the bandage back on.
(if you think i should switch harry and ginny, let me know, cause it might work better but idk)
Incorrect HP Quote #4
Hermione: This is such a bad idea.
Ginny: Then why are you coming along?
Hermione: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Incorrect HP Quote #5
Draco: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Hermione: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Harry: I got distracted halfway through.
Ron: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Incorrect HP Quote #6
Draco: HELP! I TOLD HERMIONE I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Ginny, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
Incorrect HP Quote #6
Draco: HELP! I TOLD HERMIONE I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Ginny, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
Incorrect HP Quote #8
Ginny: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Harry: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Ginny: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING HERMIONE WITH ME
Ron, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're going to stop playing now.
Incorrect HP Quote #8
Ginny: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Harry: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Ginny: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING HERMIONE WITH ME
Ron, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're going to stop playing now.
Incorrect HP Quote #9
Harry: If you had to choose between Hermione and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Ginny: That depends, how much money are we talking about?
Hermione: Ginny!
Harry: 63 sickles.
Ginny: I'll take the money.
Hermione: GINNY!!!