Think Thinking Overthinking - Tumblr Posts

When I'm ready to explain to someone why I can't do a certain thing because of my mental illness but then I remember how it ended up the last time I did

Someone: hey wanna hang out tonight?

Me: sorry but I have important stuff to do tonight

Me:

When I talk to someone and they seem understanding and I try to see how much more understanding they can be so I can "open up" a little more

When I decide to keep on opening up to them but it turned out they aren't actually that "understanding" like everyone else

When I just accept it because I knew from the begging it would end up like that

Me later that night overthinking it and feeling pathetic for making the same mistakes over and over again because I don't know how to learn from them

When I'm broke of money and my best friend pays for my meal

When I run out of cigarettes in social event

Me:*jokes about mental illness/depression/suicide...*

Someone: you shouldn't joke about these things, some people are actually suffering from them!!!

Me:

Me buying new books as soon as I get paid even though I haven't read all the books I bought the last time and the time before that and the time before that...

Friends: Hey wanna hang out tonight?

Me:*when I just left my workplace where I have been the last 15h with annoying people that I don't like at all and I don't have energy for socializing anymore*

I love to sleep, but I actually hate it... you know?

I'm always sleepy when I shouldn't, and I'm wide awake when I'm in my bed. I don't have to deal with problems when I'm sleeping, but if I sleep too much, I'll have more problems. And I always wake up TIRED. Like, b**ch I've been tired the WHOLE DAY and I SLEEP AND... WOKE UP TIRED... AGAIN...? give me a break...