Unmasking - Tumblr Posts
PSA For Neurodivergents
Don’t unmask. It’s not worth it. It destroys every kind of relationship you can form. If you think you’re safe, you’re not. Once they see you without your masking, they’ll never see you as they did before. You’re not the same to them anymore. Those who say they accept you will use it against you later. Everyone runs out of patience eventually. Normally, I would say to wear your weirdness with pride, but the world is cruel and people are intolerant. Don’t make my mistakes. Don’t unmask to neurotypicals.
I need to get over the fact that there's no way around being visibly autistic. I need to get over my aversion towards stimming in public. I need to start wearing ear defenders. I need to start using methods of communication that don't require my voice more.
I need to break this suffocating mask, because I am still being flagged; I am still being seen as weird, despite trying my very best to blend in. I am harming myself, and it's all for nothing.
For anyone who is semi verbal, nonverbal, or otherwise struggles with speech, please know that there are people who will accept your methods of communication. There are people who won't infantilize you for using AAC, communication cards, making noises instead of words, etc. There are people who won't expect you to pick the mask up again when you stop being so 'talkative'. There are people who don't mind waiting for you to sort your thoughts, and are happy to include you in the conversation.
There are people who accept you as yourself, and I don't just mean toleration.
Maybe I'm the only one who needs to hear this, but if you're semi verbal and use your voice as your main source of communication by 'default', that doesn't mean you're not semi verbal. I've gotten so used to using mouth words that I can, for the most part, force sentences out in bursts (which ends up fucking me over regardless of if it doesn't hit immediately). I speak in full sentences at the expense of my energy (and mood, and sensory threshold), because I feel self conscious otherwise. My thing is, if I can't speak in full sentences in a situation I just don't speak at all (which contributes to me avoiding social situations because it can get strenuous to hold a conversation, and fast).
I've been forcing speech less, though, because I'm working on undoing harmful habits from my masking; if I don't feel up to cranking words out, I will write my words down on paper or a whiteboard, or pull out my phone and contribute through texting. Sure it's frustrating to feel like I take more time to contribute when I technically could physically say my sentence (which, honestly, takes time too because I go around in circles and freeze and jumble words unless the sentence is a simple 'thank you' or a yes/no, or three words), but it has helped immensely to surround myself with people who are willing to take that time with me.