Actually Autism - Tumblr Posts
“I am clumsy in my own limbs. My knees buckle and ankles give out; I watch my fingers spasm and release what was held once so confidently in my grasp. I realize no one passes me the infants. I look at my shaking fingers and pulsing legs and realize my body was not made for this. In knowing this comes the knowledge that neither is my mind. I wonder how I got here, anyway, in a room of people whose eyes avoid my figure, whose conversations don’t extend to me. I look at the only other person who seems as out of focus as I am. I wonder what it’s like to hold a baby. I remember what it was like before; or at least I try. The problem is that is feels like i’ve always been forgetting to take my pills, always wearing braces on my body always looking confused into a world not built for me. I remember when I trusted the bones that house me; before they, too, creaked and caved and exposed me to the world when they crumbled. I try to remember my sport, my strength. I don’t have to try to remember the look in my PT’s face when I, again, took a first step. A wave of nausea comes over me and I dismiss myself. I make my apologies and excuses, my promise of next time and I take my exit. I glance back when i’m out of the room and watch their shoulders fall. I go to my bed.”
-What The Cold Does Aik.
anyways parents who record/post their autistic child having a meltdown are awful people :)
reminder that autism is going to affect basically everyone differently and just because you're autistic doesn't mean you have a perfect understanding of everyone with autism. be respectful and listen.
Through the power of my autism and ADHD, I do everything wrong and somehow still succeed
[Pt: through the power of my autism and ADHD, I do everything wrong and somehow still succeed. End pt]
The 'this autism meme is relatable but I'm not autistic lol' to 'I am definitely autistic' pipeline
Your needs aren't you "being difficult."
I've come to realize that I've been masking from a young age, even if I wasn't good at it when it came to social interaction. I've felt the need to be as unproblematic as possible my whole life. All I wanted to do was fit in, even if people still bullied me and avoided me. But lately? I've been losing the ability to care, because apparently people still clock me.
I still suppress stims as much as possible due to self consciousness, but I'm voicing my discomforts and needs more often. I am the definition of 'acting more autistic' since finding out that I am autistic, because I was trying to be something I wasn't my whole LIFE, wondering why my peers HATED me, why their parents looked at me with disdain when I got 'too loud' as a child.
And if you have a similar story? Good for fucking you. You aren't faking, or being theatrical for literally being MORE AUTHENTIC TO YOURSELF. I'm so TIRED of allistic people saying I look like I'm acting when I show atypical discomfort towards a situation. I'm tired of being painted as difficult for having fucking boundaries. Jesus Christ.
Allistic people stop playing victim and downplaying the nearby autistic person's sensory issues challenge
Me: I handle change well
Also me when an app changes almost anything: what the fuck is this shit
I was just thinking about this lmao
some days it’s
autism !!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡!1!1!1!1!!1!
and some days it’s
autism :(((((
I need to get over the fact that there's no way around being visibly autistic. I need to get over my aversion towards stimming in public. I need to start wearing ear defenders. I need to start using methods of communication that don't require my voice more.
I need to break this suffocating mask, because I am still being flagged; I am still being seen as weird, despite trying my very best to blend in. I am harming myself, and it's all for nothing.
'oh stop making autism a personality trait!' it is the only thing keeping me from consistently fucking hating myself for being medium support needs. I feel worthless and like a wart on the back of society, let me have the haha autism tbh creature stimmy memes for fuck's sake
Diagrams are helpful to me
actually autism was the scientist, the little guy going "yippee!" is autism's creature
I don’t speak for every neurodivergent person obviously but for neurodivergent kids trick or treating- if anyone has an experience that has flashing lights or loud noises in like a haunted house- imagine if there was first of all- telling people that there will be loud noises or flashing lights- or anything else like that- and write that people who are neurotypical or are okay with those things knock- but people who aren’t ring a door bell and perhaps have a quick conversation on what they could do to make the experience accessible then DO IT. Like a kid with photosensitivity or epilepsy? Turn off the flashing lights. An autistic person with texture aversions? Maybe move the fake web to the side, so everyone can experience the almost same experience in a healthy way! Someone cannot use their legs? Bring the experience to them or find a way to make them feel involved!
Probably a perfect world situation but I find this idea to be so smart and an excellent way of including people with disabilities who sometimes can’t. I know from experience there have been so many events I couldn’t attend due to over stimulation and I just wanted to put this out here Incase people would use this
I miss something that I can't even describe yet.
Maybe the feeling of belonging somewhere, anywhere, I do not think I was ever really a part of something.
Everyone seems further away than even the stars.
there has been so many people over the years who have spoken about how autistic people are more likely to identify as queer, trans, nonbinary, gnc, etc. and thats completely true ! as an autistic person, my gender is highly influenced by my autism and my experiences with it.
that being said, being physically disabled has also effected my gender and identity. disabled people are already alienated and isolated from general, "normal" society, so that means there is a disconnect with gender too (think how physically disabled cis women and men aren't even considered "real" women and men).
being visibly and physically disabled means i was and am not socialized the same as other people in regards to gender. are there any other physically disabled folks who feel the same way ??
the urge to constantly wear noise cancelling gear and never hear any loud noises ever please :)
Having AuDHD is like having two different people in your brain that are polar opposites and are constantly in a fight to the death over how to do anything. And meanwhile NT people are asking how you get so little done.
Do you ever just mention something to someone and suddenly realize that it’s a symptom?
Like I mentioned to my grandfather that I currently work four jobs on top of school and he asked me why I do that and I told him that I need some form of working routine or I just have a crisis and just went oh. It’s because of the autism.