Wayne Family - Tumblr Posts

Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

I like to think the Waynes just make shit up to fuck with the press. 1) because it’s funny. 2) because it’s their way of getting some narrative control back.

It’s better for them to come up with a story they think are funny, then to leave it to the tabloids where they could possibly come up with something that would hurt their feelings. Because tabloids are always gonna print stuff about them. Whether they’re nice and boring or causing scandals. Tabloids want an interesting story and will make one up if the Waynes don’t give them the stuff they need to get readership.

So the family has a competition of what ridiculous shit they can get people to believe. Tim and Cass have half of Gotham believing they’re twins separated at birth. Damian says he has a pet tiger and the zoo has been called several times about it. Dick makes people think he has a collection of itasha cars. Duke asked for McDonalds and Bruce tried to buy the whole company. Etc.

Okay so I got an idea. You see how Duke can control shadow and light? Well picture this.

The Batfam having a "normal" family reunion where they're playing games and watching movies, Duke leaves to go to the bathroom or something and when he comes back he decides to pull a prank on the Batfam.

How?

He's going to use shadow to make himself look like an elderich entity or at the very least scary. Now the funny part is that no one knows he's able to do that.

He might regret it's later but it'll be fun.

Five Times Stephanie Brown Made the News

This fic is for @ladykattz who I offer a million apologies for being so late. I hope this fic makes it up to you.

Prompt: “Can you do something with Stephanie being Tim’s date to a gala or visiting him at Wayne Enterprises for whatever reason? I just wanna see how all these high class or professional workplace people view this unknown girl who is constantly chilling with the Waynes.”

1. The first time Stephanie made the news, she was fifteen and Gotham exploded at the news of another vigilante working their way through the Gotham underworld. Word on the street was, this one wore purple and had hair bright as the sun. Among themselves, Gothamites gossiped. Some didn’t believe she’d last a week, others thought she’d make it to a month. No one believed she would ever truly succeed. Behind her mask, Stephanie narrowed her eyes and swore to prove them wrong. 2. Stephanie makes news again as Stephanie, friend of the elusive Cassandra Cain, whom which journalists would sell their organs for to get an interview. They watch as the blonde chatters freely to the sole daughter of Bruce Wayne, a smiling often flitting across her face, one mirrored easily on Cassandra’s face as well. At one point, Cassandra Cain laughs so hard she doubles over, clutching her stomach. Her eyes wrinkle, and the newspapers papers dub her a beauty in a beat. Who is this girl, who seems to familiar to the most elusive and impassive members of the Wayne Family?

3. The third time Stephanie made it on the news, she was seen in the arms of one Timothy Drake at the Wayne Gala. The same mysterious blonde hanging out with Gotham’s princess was now firmly established as the girlfriend of one of Gotham’s prince. The news story only briefly brushed over how Tim’s eyes never left his date, how under the soft lights the two smiled like gems. How Dick’s arms often wrapped about the two like family and Damian dances with Stephanie and over again. Mostly, it focused on the elites throwing themselves into a tizzy as they fumed over a common girl on the arms of one of the men in highest demand. This blonde, with her obnoxious laugh and cheap jewelry had the nerve to steal one of the most wanted men, and did so in a Macy’s dress. The ladies decked out in Gucci and Swarovski diamonds fluffed their hundred dollar insured hair in disgust. The elites scorned and scoffed, but no one could deny the happiness radiating off of the couple. Nor could they deny that the words “pompously overdressed clout” left Stephanies lips multiple times as the couple laughed themselves into oblivion watching the Elite of Gotham flush purple. 4. The fourth time Stephanie made the news, it was after an interview with a Wayne Enterprise secretary. The anonymous secretary provides multiple reports on the recent sunshine appearing in the Wayne Enterprises. It would appear that rain or shine, a blonde female would skip up the stairs to the Wayne Tower, press a kiss on Mr. Drake’s forehead (which, in the 279 days that she has observed Ms. Browns arrivals, have never failed to bring a happy smile to his face) and cheerfully encourage the workers to keep up the good work. Ms. Brown, the secretary raves, is a miracle worker. She was thoughtful too, always asking Mr. Wang about his daughter and Mrs. McClain about her hospitalized father and Mr. Mendoza about his newborn. It was as if, she writes, entrapped in her shining blonde hair and blue eyes was the sun itself. It certainly had a favorable effect among Tower the workers and Mr. Drake himself.

5. The fifth time Stephanie makes the news, she is a new hero. Another year, another gala, another outing as one of Gotham’s most well established couples. Tim slips his arms around Steph’s waist and she leans up to press a soft kiss onto his jaw, raising her hand to admire the gleaming diamond on her finger. Together, they greet all those who congratulate them on their recent engagement. A soft love wraps around them, and happiness radiates off them. Stephanie takes great delight in bragging about the newest Revlon eyeshadow and the upcoming Fenty Beauty release as the ladies gather around her. A few titter and clutch luxury powders, but she’s proud to see that majority of the women are listening intently to what she says. It never fails to delight her when girls walk up to her to strike a conversation about a product she recommended. Still, of course something goes wrong and this it comes in the form of the Condiment King, shouting about his own power and youth and lost chances. When the rest of the elites rush back and a jumble of confused shouts and scared expressions, Stephanie takes the opportunity to punch him right across the jaw- after she chews him out for even thinking about interrupting her special moment and her engagement. Not on her watch, she snaps, glaring down towards the trembling Condiment King, aiming a kick towards his ribs. What a girl, the elites whisper among themselves. How selfless, how heroic. Her fiancé is a lucky man. What a hero.

Behind them, the Wayne family grins.

Saturday's at Wayne Manor are family days. The whole weekend is reserved for the family to come and go as they please, but the biggest events are the Game Days on Saturday from 11:00 to 16:00 and Sunday Dinner at 18:00.

Every Saturday is a Game Day, but the third Saturday of each month is Competition Day. The kids all choose their favorite games, and everyone competes against each other. It's very rarely missed by anyone, but there have been times when someone has had to tap out for one reason or another. Alfred keeps track of who's missed how many days. Barbra keeps the tally of who's won what and how many times. At the end of the year, on December 31st, the scores are announced.

Sunday Dinners are sacred. No one ever misses a Sunday Dinner. The last person who did Jason is still getting subtle jabs and looks from everyone and that was a year ago and he had a very good reason, thank you very much! Everyone is always present for Sunday Dinner because everyone still has a room and the option to stay the night between the two days. Most usually take up the offer, but there have been extenuating circumstances that have pulled someone from the Manor.

No matter any of that because everyone is here and everyone is staying the night. That means everyone is patrolling Gotham tonight. Almost everyone. Batwoman has offered to take over Bludhaven for the night, so that's where she's gone.

Bruce plans to present his idea of messing with his coworkers when everyone gets back to the cave after patrol. All his kids know who they all are, having been trained by him, so there's no risk or accidental reveals on his part. In actuality, the kids thought of it like a game. They even had a folder for it on the Bat Computer and everything!

Yes, that night, after everyone returned to the Bat Cave, he would gather his Chaos Gremlins and invite them to mess with the Justice League with him. He'd also try and get Alfred in on it. Family bonding, and all that.

Though, making his kids sweat was its own form of amusement for him. It was 3:00 when everyone finally returned. They all ran their own routes, watched over by Oracle, and their own times, but everyone was always done no later than 3:00. It was a rule that the Gotham Rouges had yet to pick up on because Batman went back out until dawn more often than not.

Anyway, Bruce has been the first to get back and had put on an act of being upset. He usually kept his Batman persona with his suit, so he was rarely ever this stoic while he was Bruce Wayne. He hid his smirk as he sat at the head of the meeting table in the Cave, waiting for his children to change and sit with him. Duke normally was asleep by now, but he'd asked the boy to be there, letting him in on the harmless prank while they waited for his siblings and Stephanie to arrive.

Once everyone was seated, he waited a total of thirty seconds, meeting eyes with every one of his children, before he spoke. "I'm very disappointed."

Dick's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He'd known Bruce the longest - aside from Alfred - and had likely picked up on something the second he saw Bruce and Duke at the table. "At who?"

"The Justice League," It was amusing to watch the tension melt off of all of them when he shook his head, "We all know who all of them are, as well as everyone who trained under them, but they don't know who we are."

"Except Wonder Woman," Jason pointed out, "She figured me out when I came back."

Fair, Bruce supposed. Jason was always Diana's favorite. "I think they need some help," he said, "A push in the right direction, so to speak."

Stephanie had a smile on her face that promised mischief. "We're not telling them, right? 'Cause that'd be no fun."

"Course not!" Duke yawned, "B said we'd give them a hint."

"What did you have in mind, father?" Damian asked, stoic as always, but matching the gleam in Cass's eyes.

"We invite them to the Bat Cave," he said, "Show them around a bit. The only exits we tell them about, though, should be the Lane," How the ground vehicles get in and out. "-the Zeta Tubes," Obviously. "-and the elevator. But, we don't tell them what's upstairs."

Alfred seemed very amused from where he had taken his seat at the other end of the table.

"From there," Bruce continued, "We invite their civilian identities to the next Gala. Meet them. Hint about the Cave without actually saying anything. If I know Clark as well as I know I do, then he'll, at the very least, piece together that the Bat Cave is under Wayne Manor."

"And if we play it right?" Dick's grin was manic, "They won't connect who we are."

"Won't that be suspicious, though?" Tim spoke up for the first time, "They may not have put things together yet, but they aren't stupid. They're heroes. If we give them the pieces, they're gonna piece them together."

Damian was the one to answer him. "Batman and Bruce Wayne hate one another, though there is a grudging acknowledgement and respect."

"Give them the right pieces, with a few from the wrong puzzle, in the wrong order, we could totally have them fooled!" Jason explained.

The group shared looks between each other. Nothing needed to be said because the looks and movements said everything.

Alfred smiled and shook his head fondly. "You may plan this in the morning. For now, go to bed and get some sleep."

Part 1 Part 3

this came from a tik Tok and I love every single one and yes its the despicable ai art too but ignore that for the amazing headcanons mix with actual canon <3

Also, we all know Mokuba would get kidnapped while in Gotham. I imagine it would go something like this.

Seto gets an invitation from Bruce to have lunch at Wayne Manner. Seto tries to refuse, claiming to have promised to take Mokuba to the Gotham zoo or something that same day. Bruce, (who's always eager to force Damian to socialize with normal people) insists that the two boys go together while Seto has lunch with the rest of the family!

Seto reluctantly agrees.

Barely an hour into lunch Bruce gets a frantic call from Damian, who claims that the young Kaiba had been kidnapped.

Without missing a beat, Seto grabs his suitcase and bolts for the door.

"Hey nerdy Wayne," he yells behind him as he runs, "I'm taking your ride!"

Everyone looks over at Tim, who can barely make out a "Wh-you can't take-!" before Seto's gone. Everyone's a bit confused as to why Seto didn't take his own car when they hear it.

The roar of Jason's motorcycle.

All eyes turn to Jason.

"F*CKER STOLE MY BIKE!!!"

Yugioh Batman crossover!

I love the idea of a Yugioh/Batman crossover! Like, imagine Kaiba being invited to Bruce Wayne's latest party and being completely unimpressed with everything due to the lack of card game shenanigans! He'd also probably be very on Edge around Bruce.

Kaiba: Don't let your guard down around Wayne Mokuba. He's dangerous.

Mokuba: Gasp! Do you think he's trying to take KaibaCorp!? Kidnap me to get to you!? End the world!?

Kaiba: Worse. He might try to adopt us.

So I noticed how that in this Tim. Is the only outlier. Like everyone else is in the rows while Tim is not, like is there any symbolism or am I reading too far into this?

Edit: I know there is not enough family members for even seating, that’s what I meant when I said “or am I reading too far into this?” It is a joke