White Wolf - Tumblr Posts
*Geralt saves Jaskier life*
Geralt: Just because I saved you doesn't mean I care about you
Jaskier: but you saved me!!
Geralt: and I'm starting regret this decision
For a changeling game.
Trying to paint without doing any lines at all or any normal anatomy planning phase I just kind of started plopping down person-shaped blobs in greyscale and hoping for the best. I seriously have a lot more respect for people who normally paint this way now oh fuck you guys how do you even!?
Getting to play Vampire: the Masquerade for the first time in forever so we’re back to listening to Nightwish and feeling highschool mall goth in the pursuit of a good portrait of this jerk
Also one of my faves. 😊😉
Correct I did make this.😁
invisible string
summary: in a surprising and not at all awkward outing with Sam Wilson, Bucky discovers what he's been looking for for weeks in the place he least expected.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader (although she doesn't appear much, sorry)
words: +2k
warnings: descriptions of nervousness or a panic attack, thoughts of loneliness and a lot of Sam/Bucky interaction <3 (this is also in third person). and again, English is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes!
note: hi! i don't usually like what i write, mainly because i've had writer's block for 4 years now, but what i wrote yesterday kept hanging around in my head and i wanted to write something else today, so this came out. chronologically, it would be several weeks before cowboy like me. ALSO, again, the song only inspired me the setting, not so much to do with the plot. hope you like it!
a string that pulled me
out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar
something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons
one single thread of gold tied me to you
Bucky enjoyed his solitude even if the darkness of night brought back stormy memories. The echo of his footsteps in the early morning sometimes exalted him, noting that he found it hard to remember that there was no longer someone running behind him. That the people who had died at the hand of him... the Soldier, were not chasing him in his dreams looking for him to make amends for what he had broken; what he had taken from them so fiercely and mercilessly so many years ago.
How can you live a free life, as he's doing, knowing that you usurped other people's freedom of life?
Bucky enjoyed his solitude, yes, because he felt he could disappear into it. That he could sink and mingle with the floor tiles at midnight when the memories were too much; when the sensations, the guilt and the remorse took the air out of him and all he was able to feel was his own agonising pain.
He was free, yes, but at what cost?
The images would not go away, and the impressions those violent events left on his body were involuntary. He knew that despair was going to be a constant in his path, that he would repeatedly be thinking that moving on was worth it, that he could really start his life in peace now. But how? Sometimes he would feel that his path was in pieces that were scattered all over a field of dry grass, that it had no direction or harmony; that it was broken, forgotten and neglected like him.
"Man, are you listening to me?"
Bucky snapped out of it, remembering where he was. The night before had been a real mess that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about all day, going about his daily business. For some reason, he thought hanging out with Sam Wilson, getting out of the rut he'd fallen into for a bit, was a good way to clear his mind of all the dark memories he'd conjured up and wanted to wrest from his mind. And it had worked, at first. Now, somehow, the cosy and familiar feeling -entirely alien to him- imprinted on the atmosphere of that coffee shop, had caused what had happened the night before, to come back to his head automatically.
As if his own body rejected the sensation; as if he didn't want to feel welcome in a place, or comfortable being with someone. Because was that really something he deserved? Was that thrill of belonging meant for someone like him?
"Yes," he replied vaguely, picking up the glass of beer still half-full on the table, "but no, I don't feel like it."
"Oh, come on, man, it's an affectionate place! And the people are friendly, I assure you. I know half the people who are going to be there, we've been to games at the bar near your flat."
"Sounds like a lot of people just like you. I'll pass."
Sam let out a laugh, shaking his head. Coming up with a thousand ideas to get Bucky out of his rut was more complicated than he thought. It seemed he was simply quite comfortable being completely alone, no noise or people around him. Just the fact that he was there, at that moment with him in a rather crowded coffee shop, was an incredible step closer to the other edge of the cliff that stood between Bucky and the world.
"You don't have to hide from the world anymore, buddy. You can go out and roam it at your leisure now."
Bucky gave him a scowl and a grimace. Sam's lips were pursed in a sympathetic smile, and for some reason, the comment gave him a bittersweet feeling.
The world is yours to know, you just have to open the door to it, echoed in his head like an old memory.
Steve.
"Anyway, I'll leave the invitation on the table. If you decide to attend, you're welcome," Sam raised his glass and tilted it slightly towards Bucky before taking a long drink.
Welcome, what an odd word to dedicate to a retired assassin.
Without replying, Bucky mimicked Sam's gesture and gulped down the entire contents of his beer.
At Sam's arched eyebrows, he said, "I can't get drunk."
"Ah, the serum."
"Yeah."
Sam ordered another round for both of them and ordered himself a plain hamburger while he was at it.
"So what happened with your research, did you get any breakthroughs on that stack of papers?"
Bucky grimaced in exasperation, remembering how he'd spent the last few nights, -mostly just preventing himself from sleeping and having some other dream that would leave him with the attitude he had that day- reading and rifling through all the papers in a corner of his room.
"Nothing interesting. Papers of people who had already died, forged passports and very strange clinical cases I'd rather not remember."
Sam frowned not wanting to imagine what he was referring to, "If you'd accepted my help you'd be done with that pile of rubbish by now."
"It's not rubbish," Bucky grumbled, as the waiter, -Michael, it read on the edge of his shirt pocket- brought them their beers and Sam's burger, "Thanks. Somewhere her file will be, it can't have been recast or just lost."
"Maybe they burned it before you got here."
"There was no way they knew I was going."
Sam sighed and, as he finished pouring ketchup on his burger, asked, "Don't you think it's enough to know that you let her go alive and well?"
"No," he replied instantly, "She could have died."
"I like your optimism."
"Or she could have been killed on the way out. I need to find her."
"You're taking a lot of credit from her, man. She almost kicked your good arm off."
Bucky rolled his eyes in exasperation, "It didn't happen like that."
Sam let out a laugh noting the grumpy expression Bucky was giving him.
"No," he said after recovering, "But almost."
"They could also capture her again," he continued with his hypotheses trying to get back to the main topic.
"I think she's all right, from what you said, she looked pretty capable."
Bucky pursed his lips but didn't answer him. Since he'd arrived half dead in town after not showing up or showing any signs of life for a week, Sam had ambushed him at his flat and had to tell him what he'd been up to.
It was quite a talk, too long for Bucky's taste, but at the same time quite liberating, as well as revealing. Sam had given him the idea of going back to the place and gathering all the information so he could find the woman; the woman who had attacked him as if he had been trying to kill her, but he was really there to take her out.
Then she had defeated him cleanly and had run away without looking back like a sniper's bullet fired.
Bucky had returned to the deserted place, destroyed and almost unrecognisable from the way he had left it, and with great effort managed to collect the files that had been salvaged from the place. That was a month and a half ago, and now he had a room in his flat full of papers, boxes and compressed files on CDs that he hadn't finished going through, all to see if there was anything he could find on this woman.
A name, an address, a number, anything.
"And even if you did find something in that pile of paper," Sam continued, after taking a bite of his burger and a long sip of his beer, "what makes you think you're really going to find her? I mean, if I were her I would have gone to a country where they didn't even speak English and changed my name."
"I can try," he said, pretending the idea hadn't crossed his mind a couple of times these days.
"You have faith in lost causes."
"Just like you."
Sam narrowed his eyes at him, knowing exactly what he was referring to, but he didn't comment on it, just continued to nibble on his food.
Bucky took a minute to weigh whether or not he should continue to search for this woman's whereabouts, even though there was a chance he might never find her. There was something about the moment he found her, cowering in on herself in the corner of the room, but at the same time defensive and fierce. Though her expression had been annoyed and imperious, through her eyes he had been able to see fear. And he recognised it, because he had seen it in his own.
Hiding fear behind a mask of serenity and inexpressiveness was something he had done daily for so many years, that now he did it involuntarily and could recognise when someone else did it. Like a perfect liar who could recognises lies. That unfamiliar and uncharacteristic feeling he had the moment he saw her and realised how scared she was to see him there, because she would surely have recognised him, was something that hadn't left him alone since she escaped. And even though, like Sam, Bucky knew she was fully capable of surviving, that was something he wanted to verify personally. It was something he needed, he didn't know why, but he did.
"You're really not hungry?" Sam's voice echoed in his head and he looked up, "This burger is one of the best I've ever tasted."
"I'm good. Thanks for the recommendation, Sam."
"Just saying," the brunet shrugged and finished his meal in two more bites, "So, what are you doing tonight?"
"I'm not going to any get-togethers or watching a game or climbing a mountain."
"Hey, first of all, mountains are on weekends. Second of all, you need to surround yourself with people, man."
"I think with this," Bucky gestured around him, "I've crossed that off your list for at least three months."
Sam was going to scold him, but seemed to regret it at the last moment, "At least let me help you look through those boxes. It wouldn't hurt to talk to someone once in a while, like now."
Bucky half-opened his lips to answer him, but his body froze. Suddenly, a shiver ran through his body and the beer in his left hand went static. Sam watched him with a questioning face, but Bucky concentrated on the hundred emotions that erupted inside his body.
The nervousness he hadn't heard in a couple of days - since the last time he thought the cat's footsteps on his windowsill were a person spying on him - had just returned along with a tightness in his chest that almost took his breath away.
Someone was watching him.
But who? Everyone in the cafeteria was focused on their own business, even the waiters were all together behind the cash register whispering to each other.
He clasped his hands as he felt a tingle run through them, just before they began to shake. His chest heaved in time with his anxious breathing, and for a moment he felt the room shrink and shrink until it was capable of crushing him.
"What is it, Bucky?"
He was on the verge of standing up and running away like a frightened child. He came within an inch of knocking over everything on the table and flipping the table over, of breaking a glass, of hitting something, or hiding in a corner. When his breathing got heavier and heavier, when he felt that he couldn't get enough air into his lungs, that's when he saw it.
No, when he saw her.
Strangely unperturbed but curious, a few feet in front of him, sitting in a long wooden chair with a laptop in front of her and her eyes fixed on his presence, was her. The woman.
She had recognised him instantly, it seemed, but this time she didn't look scared, she didn't look like she wanted to run away. She just looked intrigued.
Sam, noticing Bucky in some sort of trance, followed his gaze behind him and found a rather young woman, she almost looked like a college student, returning his gaze to the man who had turned into a nervous wreck five seconds ago.
"Is that her?" He whispered to him, and Bucky only answered with a slight, brief nod that Sam almost missed.
Bucky didn't look away from her for several seconds where he felt a weight leave his shoulders, because it was peaceful to know that she was alive, and it was amazing just to have found her in this place, without even considering it. So he had, he had helped her. He had gone to rescue her, but in the end she had saved herself.
Maybe this was how he could redeem himself; this was probably the right way to make amends for the atrocities an alien being had committed. Maybe it wasn't a big deal, but he felt it was a big step towards becoming the person he really wanted to be; to be that person who is welcome, who feels at ease with himself. A person who can belong to something... to someone.
The world is yours to know, you just have to open the door to it.
Wow I loved Avengers Infinity War
Find yourself someone, who looks at you the way these two look at each other.
Honestly Seb and Tish, just get a room.
I dunno. I just felt like turning her into a “dog.”
BECAUSE IMMORTAL DOG YEAHHH XDD
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Bucky’s Phone
Sam and Bucky’s texts pre TFATWS
🔹Nothing looks more depressing than a brainwashed 100-ish year old man wearing a black turtleneck... You're welcome
🔹But seriously I had to draw my favorite character at some point 😂
We stan a closeted bisexual
“Let’s hear it for Captain America!”
aka
“Hell yea that’s my boyfriend right there!”
Why do those 3 lines make me so emotional I- 😭
Hello, we’re gonna talk about Bucky Barnes. I know, shocker. A totally new concept for which I have never written the likes of before. (Oof, I sound like Elizabeth Bennet. Neat!) As well as the beautiful and inspiring Agent Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter. (Yeah, I put her full name and not Bucky’s cuz y’all already know how much I admire him.)
We all have our opinions on the latest and last Avengers movie Endgame. Whether it be that Tony shouldn’t have died. Natasha shouldn’t have died. Peter Parker and Nebula should’ve been adopted by Tony Stark. All popular opinions and theories and reasonably acceptable alternate endings. (Personally, I agree with all of these and I’m genuinely upset that the actors contracts ended on that note.) Now the opinion that has become the main topic for this post is the ever-so-popular argument on the ending for the former Captain America, Steve Rogers. No, I’m not talking about giving his shield, mantle, and title over to his friend and teammate Sam Wilson. I actually think this was a smart move on the directors part, if a little untimely. Sam would’ve always been Captain America, though he would’ve had to wait until Bucky got his turn. I’m getting off course and y’all have to deal with that, sorry. Anyway, I’m talking about Steve going to replace the stones and staying in the past.
It was cute. It was, truly. Hero gets the girl and all that jazz. And it would’ve even made sense, if not for the obvious. The obvious being that Steve’s ending did not in any way capture the story of his life. Or Peggy’s. He was so incredibly selfish that his actions would’ve ruined his characters if not for other factors. He disrupted the entirety of her life. Peggy founded S.H.I.E.L.D. Peggy Carter got married. Peggy Carter had children. Peggy Carter had a fulfilling career and life. She died of old age surrounded by the people who loved and admired her the most. Hell, she even got to ease the guilt and sadness caused by Steve Rogers’ supposed death. Not many people get to say that. She was a wonderful and amazing woman. Not to mention a feminist icon. All of it, nearly her entire life was undone by one dumbass she kissed once. Just once. Yes, she missed him, wished it could’ve been something more, maybe even fantasized on what could’ve been a few times. But she was content, happy. She didn’t deserve having her path screwed up and her family blown out of existence. Especially not to the man who kissed her niece just days after her funeral. The disrespect. (If you ship Steve and Sharon, that’s on you.) Peggy probably never even knew that Bucky was still alive, if Steve told her along with what happened to Bucky, I’d like to believe that she sure as shit pitched a fit to Steve about his idiocy. Because who the hell abandons their best friend, their brother, in a world where they are either hated or constantly misunderstood. I know, I just know, that if there was a way to send Steve back, she would’ve. For Bucky’s sake, if nothing else. But there wasn’t and Peggy Carter is nothing if not a reasonable and thoughtful woman.
She knows that Bucky can handle it. We all do. But he shouldn’t have to do it alone. He deserves more than that. Yeah, he has Sam. But, in the movies, Sam is shown to barely tolerate Bucky, sometimes aligning with him to save the world whenever the situation calls for it. I love the Stackie friendship. I think it’s great, honestly. But we have to remember that canonically, Sam just doesn’t like Bucky that much. And he has every right not to. Regardless of the brainwashing, Bucky did try to kill Sam on multiple occasions. And Sam wouldn’t be Sam if he just forgave him, even if Bucky did apologize for his actions and tried to make amends. And, yes, in the FATWS trailer they appear to be friends or at the very least friendly. But there is over a year-and-a-half distance between Endgame and FATWS, giving them plenty of time to get better acquainted as more than frenemies and on-and-off allies. But I’m not talking about in the near future, I’m talking about post-Endgame, where they haven’t quite gotten that far. There’s camaraderie there, which is good, but I felt that, realistically, it only exists because they both know that they’re gonna be stuck together for a while and know better, know that they have to make the most of the situation.
Honestly, it makes the entirety of the Captain America storyline, where it is explicitly stressed that Steve and Bucky are close friends who’d do just about anything for each other, a moot point. I’m not trying to offend the Stucky shippers, really. Stucky makes more sense that Steve and Sharon anyway. I’m just referring to the fact that Steve and Bucky aren’t a canon couple in the sense that they were never specifically written as one. (And I stg that if they follow up on the rumors that say that Bucky and Sharon will be a couple, the producers and directors and story writers will be catching my fucking hands.) It just doesn’t make any sense that Steve would spend so much time mourning Bucky, constantly implying how much he needs Bucky in his life, then doing everything and anything to ensure Bucky’s safety only to leave him for the first woman who ever looked at him in interest. Especially since it usually takes less than a year to get over a crush and homie had over seventy years, nearly ten of those where he could have consciously gotten over her. But with Bucky, he might not have had a lot of time with him, but it was always supposed to have meant that he would have waited for his friend to get better. Bucky wasn’t dying, Bucky wasn’t about to leave him behind. If anything, Bucky was just as eager to get better so he could reconnect with the only person who could even marginally understand him and his trauma. (Natasha could have, too, but they killed her, so...) The only people who even like Bucky are Shuri and T’Challa, who re-dubbed him as the White Wolf. (In the comics, the White Wolf was the adoptive brother of the Black Panther, so T’Challa and Shuri and Mother Queen Ramonda straight up adopted Bucky Barnes into the royal family. This is based on the rumors that Bucky will be replacing Hunter as the White Wolf in the MCU.)
Point is that Steve left Bucky behind, their friendship being a main plot point in all of the Captain America movies, and it makes no sense and makes it seem like their friendship meant nothing when Steve went back to Peggy. Hopefully, they can remedy this in FATWS by making old Steve a kind of mentor to the new Captain America and a sort of guidance towards Bucky. Steve’s entire personality was his compassion, consideration, and commitment to the people he cared about and his morals which he is often bull-headed about. I love Steve Rogers. Captain America is one of my favorite superheroes. Chris Evans portrayed this character perfectly and really brought the character to life. But what the fuck was that ending. All I’m saying-she says after like four paragraphs-is that they could’ve done worse.
Sunday (Anti) Shipping (Black Panther Spoilers)
Rant under the link - really don’t want to accidentally spoil someone...
Can someone explain to me why people are shipping...
...Shuri and Bucky? Anybody?
Shuri is SIXTEEN!
Bucky is in the triple digits - “But he was frozen for awhile so it’s not that simple...”
Yes it is! Even when ignoring Bucky’s time on and off ice during the decades - Bucky was in his late 20s / early 30s when he fell from the train in The First Avenger. That’s right folks Bucky is roughly TWICE Shuri’s age!
The Star Wars fandom were utterly divided by the TEN year age difference between Rey and Ben Solo / Kylo Ren; however, Rey is nineteen in The Force Awakens and Kylo is twenty-nine. Maybe that’s just too large of a gap for some, but I’ll take it every day of the week rather than consider a close to fifteen year gap which leaves one of the two characters still underage!
I’ve seen Black Panther twice now in theaters, I don’t know what other folks are seeing when they say Bucky’s making eyes at Shuri. Maybe there are different cuts of the film and I just haven’t seen that one? The Shuri we know and love isn’t even herself in that scene, she’s subdued and in my opinion, comes off a little annoyed. Meanwhile, I think after being tortured by HYDRA for decades, followed by being haunted that a series of words, read in a certain pattern, could send him back into that tortured soul the last thing on Buck’s mind is a girl.
It just feels like such a weird thing to focus on, there wasn’t a huge rush right after Steve awoke for fans to have him thinking with his little head, so why is it being applied to Bucky?
I spent more than five years working on combatting child exploitation online. Everything from infants being abused up to tweens falling for fake Justin Bieber and beyond (I also worked “sextortion” and seen grown adults fall into a predator’s trap). Am I letting my views from my experiences impact my view? Damn right I am. It’s a dishonor to both Bucky and Shuri - marking him as a predator and Shuri needing a love interest instead of being able to rock her genius self and impact the entire world.