MC: Who The Fuck Took My Capri Sun I Just Wanna Talk

MC: who the fuck took my capri sun i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

Lucifer: it was me.

MC: what.

Lucifer: it was me

MC: …why.

Lucifer, clearing his throat (with a little smirky smirk on his face): it tastes like demonus and i miss it, you whore.

MC, squinting: well fucking played, bitch.

———

based off this post right here!

btw Lucifer planned tbh is out for months like the nerd he is, everyone laugh at the old man (affectionate)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML

LESSON 23 GOT ME FUCKED UP

headcanon that MC likes to annoy thirteen by calling her different numbers

thirteen: MC isnt so bad :))

MC: hey 31 what’s up

thirteen: im going to stick your fucking life candle up your own ass you fucking piece of shit-

so anyways yeah they’re in love

200 FOLLOWERS PROMPT LIST AAAAAA

Holy fucking shit i did not expect this ! thank you so much?? As a thank you im going to do a little dialogue request thing because A) tysm and B) I need to get used to writing requests.

Okay, so this is how it will go:

Choose an obey me character, a genre (fluff, angst, suggestive, etc.), the nature of the relationship between you and the character (romantic, platonic, familial, sexual, etc.) and a prompt number. Send an ask (anon or not idc) with all three and I’ll write it!

Please do this if it flops I’ll be humiliated. 😭 🙏

I write for all shown characters except for Thirteen, Mephistopheles, and Raphael! Also anything with Luke will be platonic if it isn’t obvious already.

im pretty sure these r tumblr prompts but I got them off Pinterest so idk ☹️☹️ lmk if you know who these are from!!

Lucifer: you can’t just tell Diavolo that your ‘tiny human body is about to give out from stress’ every time you don’t want to do something

Lucifer: he came to me crying yesterday thinking he killed you because you said you were dying when he didn’t give you the last of his pastries

MC: i can feel my soul slipping away it will only stay if you give me 300k in cash 🫡

After the initial shock and sadness of the brothers realizing that MC will die one day; I think i’d be funny if MC jokes about and and uses it as leverage occasionally.

Lucifer: MC your grades are horrible you need to work on the assignments that have been given to you

MC: i’m going to die one day and you’re going to be sad about all of the times i could have been happy and yet you made me do schoolwork instead

Like MC being an absolute menace would be so fucking funny to me