Peter: *drinks All Of The Coffee Meant For Tony, Surprise Hugs Him And At The Same Time Gives Him A Heart

Peter: *drinks all of the coffee meant for Tony, surprise hugs him and at the same time gives him a heart attack, and blows 2 of Tony's labs all in the span of one (1) afternoon*

Harley: How do you cry when your sandwich falls apart, but then be able to do this with no fear?

Tony, fighting off a forming headache: I've already fallen apart so it’s too late for him to cry about it.

Peter: Yes, we are in the shit. No, we never give up.

Tony: Peter, you have a stAB WOUND AND YOU'RE LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW, PLEASE GET OFF THE DAMN CEILING—

Peter: Guys, could you help me with my assignment? We need to list why water is beneficial to us.

Steve: Well, if you want to lose weight, you can drink water.

Bucky: Need to relieve headaches? Drink water.

Tony, gesturing to himself: Clean face? Drink water.

Natasha: Tired of a person? Drown them.

Everyone in the lounge area:

Bucky: ...Y'know, Nat's solution applies to my problem as well, depending on the context.

Peter, muttering: I just realized my super healing is so fascinating and interesting, but I know little to nothing about why and how it works. Maybe I should test it by—

Steve, overhearing: There will be no testing!

Peter: But—

Natasha: No buts.

Peter: I mean, I know that it's—

Tony, who came back after fetching coffee not knowing what Peter even did: Then nothing, Peter. Discussion over.

Peter, on the phone: Mr. Stark, uh, I accidentally fell off of it.

Tony, panicking: Hey Pe— what—fell off what?!

Peter: The roof.

Tony, calming down: Oh, your apartment's? Your patrol is supposed to end by now. I'll come get you so you can get checked out in the medbay.

Peter: Uh, no, IfelloutoftheChryslerbuilding.

Tony, suddenly hyperventilating: PETER BENJAMIN FUCKING PARKER YOU 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛—

Clint: Happy Father's day!

Peter: I hope my father's happy from 6 feet below, I wonder what entertainment he has down there.

Pepper: Peter, what did we say about the dead family jokes? I'm afraid that'll be a cause for another appointment— Tony, why do you look like that?

Tony, shrugging as he drinks his coffee: I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on me. He’s not just dead, he's also very condescending.

Scott, under his breath, scheduling an appointment for both of them: Jesus Christ, like father like son, apparently.