Two 22 y/o gay models in love. One goofy, one off. Neither ever the same guy. Both always awash with heavenly bodies and handsome faces they can't see for themselves living in a world impossible for them to blend in. Find their misadventures here.
341 posts
It Wasnt The Most Ridiculous Thing Out There. Far From It.
“It wasn’t the most ridiculous thing out there. Far from it.”
Brad then reminded Becky so far, the plan for human survival was a cave full of seeds in Iceland and some bunkers in New Zealand built by paranoid rich people with guns. He then restruck the pose.
“Now, what exactly did Becky have to say about the ‘outfit’ again? You know what, it doesn’t matter as no one needs to compete with zero coordination.”
Brad then turned to face Becky directly. “People go to jail for not having an emergency plan. What’s really messed up is nothing exists at the top level for all of us. Why was the human species as a whole so whacked anyway?”
Becky offered to get the next round of margaritas and motioned for Brad to rejoin his place in the cabana. Chris piped in to make them doubles then asked everyone where they should take that conversation. It was a pool day, the snarky could be tabled.
Brad thought it should go to Boise. Chris thought to shuffle it off to Buffalo citing his own disappointment in it’s obviousness. Becky didn’t know where to put it but thought enough to store it in Namibia. It was dry and sparsely populated so would preserve well.
She then guessed a doomsay plan could pass through countless generations unnoticed and undisturbed like Ring Around the Rosie. The coding on that was a bit whacked as the message did not make the impact it could have given it’s significance and pertinence to current global epidemics.
“It was from the Middle Ages so certainly credit could be given there. Did we need to attach trauma to children? It is safe to say there were no guns pointed at anyone.”
Becky went on to state the plague and assumed apocalypse remained daunting. To clear the way for the rest of their pool day while the larger whole got it’s act together, she suggested a temporary placeholder in lieu of a true master plan for the survival of the human species.
“It would need to be super simple and as close to universal as possible. Maybe a song is a good idea. Could we at least say, ‘Don’t panic.’ or ‘Florida is underwater. Think Nepal, not Naples.’
Becky took a sip of a now nearly toasted margarita.
“Of course, people would freak anyway, especially after discovering there was no master plan. It may though give us a moment of clarity before the madness where one out of 8 billion of us might just come up with a resolution.”
Becky further dove in the point explaining the problem even with her suggestions around all this lies exactly where it does in general, surfacing the best idea.
“The car alarm, censor/chat bots, a war on drugs, phone trees, microbeads in soap, beef hamburgers and the electric chair were lauded as genius at one juncture. The fact is the list is infinite, and we know better now. The more hoopla made over something, the more it felt like there was reason to question it.”
Becky then mentioned all the gimmicks around AI. “We really do not know what we are stepping into or better said, already have. For some time, no regulation existed around any of it. AI also did not automatically keep records in the same capacity as with previous technological advances. This was scary.”
All three were already well aware Brad and Chris’ issues with Tumblr stemmed out of bots and a culture difficult to interpret other than hellbent on efficiency and profit ironically at any cost to its own customers.
In an unrealized interruption, Brad interjected his shock, “I so did not associate the censorship with AI until now. That’s…. OMG. I mean… Look at the damage being done to the gay community alone. I didn’t place it. That hardly makes it any less real or hard hitting.”
Becky assured Brad in his reaction and offered some perspective as to what Brad and Chris faced. “There is not sufficient law, social construct, personal protection or compensation around AI. Overall, corporations and those of resource thus far have chosen censorship, ignorance, and to look out for themselves.”
She paused to readjust her composure into a near stand on her knees.
“That IS fear culture. Process exceeds person across the board here, and in the grand scheme everyone loses. You are literally taking the brunt here with your blog bradandchris.com.”
Seeing things materialize for the two, Becky switched gears quickly. “I say keep going. The Oregon Trail didn’t pop up out of nowhere. If you look around, you are not the only gays on the block either. Start your own thing or grind away just as the bots do to you. Eventually people pick up mirroring which is why we all do it where conversations can’t or do not happen for whatever reason.”
Becky scanned the pool looking for their server before returning her attention to Brad and Chris.
“To mirrors, why don’t you start Twittering? Musk is also weary of AI. You might find a home there. It would not hurt to try.”
Brad and Chris appreciated options and the former nodded in affirmation. The each knew they were not helpless, but not unaware any move required significant resources or losses.
As to her suggestion as to where to temporarily store the conversation of a need for master plan for a global emergency, Becky affirmed her choice in Africa. Humanity began on the very same soil, and the entire continent was bothering enough to take time for introspection.
She lived in South Africa for several years as a medical refugee from the United States Her insurance didn’t cover her condition and she needed to go somewhere cheap as well multicultural that came in English with a beach. It was that or Belize.
Chris who’d been quietly sunning at the edge of the cabana suddenly came to life. “Is that where ‘Please Belize’ came from? I’ve heard you say that and caught myself saying it. It’s mad addicting. I’ve tried to keep it to myself as I didn’t know what it meant. I forget to ask every time you are around. The last thing I need to do is offend more people out of the blue.”
Chris sat up to allow for his hands and arms to go full on Price is Right showcase. “I look really good in blue. Just look at my tiny swimmers.”
Becky nodded in affirmation took the last slip of the margarita in hand and motioned for the pool server that came into view to head their way. Satisfied they made contact and on their way over, she called Mars a ‘hellhole’ and reframed Twitter as a definite ‘maybe.’
She then mentioned she got her job assisting for Ralph Lauren after meeting him at the beach in Cape Town. That’s why she came back to the States. Her her stint abroad may also explain some oddities about her.
To bring everything full circle before the server arrived, Becky indicated her regret for using the Oregon Trail as an example. It wasn’t what she intended to say though she could not remember what that was. She pointed out while understandable as a selection, Boise left out half the population inclusive of herself, and that she didn’t know what a ‘shuffle’ was. It did not ring as something particularly evolutionary or bring much to her in terms of inspiration. It did remind her of apples for unknown reasons.
At the end of the day and to rest her case, it was fun to say Namibia.
“Namibia.”
Becky was so on her game.
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More Posts from Bradandchris
Brad assured John his workout was next. Chris just went in the locker room to shower Peter.
Chris paused for a moment.
No. He did not feel out of place at all wearing his own clothes. They were all standing inside a clothing retailer were they not? It would only be odd if he was wearing clothes he did not own outside of the dressing room.
Chris then reminded the sales clerk at the boutique on Rodeo Drive ‘Stranger Things’ already happened. They were still producing new episodes too so they could put the matter to rest. The old saying was now absolute truth and no longer opinion.
Chris then seemingly out of nowhere felt himself resisting an incredible urge to scream, “BIG, HUGE, BIG mistake!”
Brad would attribute the unrecognizable urge to intergenerational trauma at dinner that evening. After careful consideration and research via a rental on Netflix, Brad’s hypothesis certainly fit the bill.
Chris then wondered how it was Chris saw the flick ‘Pretty Woman’ in the first place. It screamed of straight people. To the other end, it did produce an unexpected explanation for Brad’s fear of polka dot dresses. Chris always did admire Brad for his integrity.
Chris had a problem with the word ‘manufacturer’. It didn’t roll off the tongue like Becky’s ‘Namibia.’
What was he going to do now anyway? The photo shoot was in full swing. It was indeed a nasty word though. The only thing more on the nasty was the plural, ‘manufacturers.’
Despite the distractions, as a professional gay model, Chris was expected to somehow make it WERK, WURQ and WORK not to mention WORKOUT and everything between with a bend and snap of the finger.
It was A LOT and Chris realized he had taken every version of the word on. He never expected the Inuit people to live up up to every term ever created for snow. Why did he put all this expectation around the gays? Was he putting all this pressure on himself?
Chris needed to get a grasp on his performance. How was he doing? What was he doing? Was he making this photo shoot look easy?
If so, Chris was either putting in too much effort, too into it or possibly Inuit himself. He never did water the family tree to find out, but only because he didn’t know how. He tried tho. Oh how he tried.
Chris stopped himself there. He really needed to stop trying. How could he do that? He didn’t know any other way.
Chris decided to bring himself back to the present tense. Whatever that was had to be better than this brand of timeless self torture. One deep breath in and…
Admittedly the now was hot. The better half of nasty if you know what that means. The jockstrap on his head smelled a little like his boyfriend Brad too.
He worked out.
Wait. Was this his?
(Click!)
That’s when the photographer ran out of memory and yelled, “what the hell was going on?!
Chris said he wasn’t too sure as he kept getting distracted himself. He did though suspect the jockstrap on his head was his boyfriends so wasn’t overly concerned as to what they may snap out of and into. Brad was around somewhere. The jockstrap was still fresh.
Chris’ stomach then rumbled. “Was Cher just here? I feel like pizza.”
That’s when Chris realized the photographer was their neighbor Luke. Apparently he brought over some new weed to watch Mystic Pizza. It was good stuff.
Brad mentioned to their new beach friends it was Hump Night at the Cantina. He and his boyfriend Chris had a friend Ken who was spinning so they could all get listed and skip for cover. The Cantina also had unlimited refried beer and half off Corona beans.
Brad paused to take a deep breath, placed a smile on his face then looked up.
“So… Who was down to go up at Ken’s Hump Day, huh?”
Day five of the Atlantis Caribbean Cruise and Chris suddenly caught wind of Cherry Pie Apparently, Warrant was now in fragrances.
You know, Brad was smart to stay on the boat.