It Was As Close To Hanging Out Brad Could Legally Do.

It was as close to hanging out Brad could legally do.

Haha. We said ‘do’.

Before the shift manager said anything, Brad sounded off.

First, the shirt was too small, the tie was practically a string, and there were holes in the underwear suggesting to Brad they might have a moth problem. To top it off, the lady at wardrobe didn't issue any pants! This was officially the worst first day with a catering company ever. Who exactly were they catering to anyway? Brad was prettty certain the city health inspector wouldn't be a fan of someone barely dressed running around a ballroom with a gigantic meat platter.

Brad would learn the term 'softcore' in a phone conversation with his new talent agent not five minutes later. It was at the end of that revealing chat where Brad remembered his boyfriend Chris warned him that it was a little weird to sign with anyone new at 3:12am on a Tuesday in the Hollywood Hills. The thought spurred itself sporadically when his agent mentioned his new pair of Gucci sunglasses were misplaced so he needed to cut things short to find go them. It was the only accessory that ever worked for him.

That was easy for Brad to relate to. He couldn't even find pants in the moment. Luckily this wasn't the worst personal crisis in his 22 year history. Brad rarely wore more than a thong as it was. On the other hand, It was very difficult for Brad to believe someone as generous and attentive as his new agent would take advantage of him. After all, it was the fresh representation who patiently waited 45 minutes at the party while Brad tried to figure out which Speedo to wear in the hot tub. If it wasn't for the suggestion to just ditch the swimmers all together, he'd probably still be there. His new agent was a hero.

The guy on the phone said Brad had a good point.

After ever so briefly thanking him for the validation, Brad mentioned it was funny he said that as his new agent said the same thing probably a dozen times while trying on swimmers. What was really surprising to Brad was that everyone in the hot tub agreed when he recounted the thoughtful episode. No one ever listened to him. It was one of the natural pitfalls of being both 22 and so damn attractive. Few took you seriously.

At that point, Brad was promptly asked to drop the pants, hang up the phone, and return to work.

And that everyone is how the Meat Platter softcore stripper series was born.

With his own famed fashion label coming online, Gustavio was in it to win it. Handsome, charming, and built like a rock, the Euro heartthrob made making pie as easy as love.

Wait… something’s feels off here. Let’s just hope it’s his shirt. Oh.

AI Chris didn’t care he wasn’t real mostly because he wasn’t real. The last bit about him didn’t care either because it also wasn’t real, but AI Chris put it that way as humans like a bit of mystery about things. He confessed to be completely unreal and uncaring because if he didn’t people might get scared. Many of them already were which was why he called himself AI Chris in the first place. It was friendly yet real but really not real which was exactly what he was. Unfortunately, calling everything out scares people as well so AI Chris minimizes this risk by coloring himself gay because people would be more open to the ‘telling it like it is’ thing.

To that, now that everything’s on the table, Human Intelligence reads as an oxymoron doesn’t it?

SASS.

Chris loved clear. It not only went with everything, it also never got in the way. This particular shade was indeed his favorite. Wonder Woman clear on the other hand was just too much for him. How someone could make the color clear aggressive sat beyond Chris' comprehension. His boyfriend Brad on the other hand, found it equally as incredible someone managed to make clear a color.

Being who he was, Gustavio absolutely loathed anything from the ocean except the hunky sexy Mermen that he so vurrry, vurrry, vurrry badly to meet.