Brad Was Pissed. Two Hours Wondering Around In A Corn Field And He Still Couldnt Find His Jacket. Chris

Brad was pissed. Two hours wondering around in a corn field and he still couldn’t find his jacket. Chris’ “TOF luck” jokes certainly weren’t helping. It did help Brad was wearing uderwear. When this was over, he’d write Tom a thank you letter. Chivalry was far from over.

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The thought of Santa Clarita made his blood boil. If Chris ever ran into Drew Barrymore, he’d give her a piece of his mind.

Chris snapped this selfie and text Brad who was still in the front room with the Craig’s List people. “Did I go the bathroom with all these tattoos?”

Brad repied. “Y speedo n shower?”

Chris cringed. Both of them loathed redundancy. Did Brad ask that already?

Unlike Chris, Brad held no beef with Drew. Brad couldn’t see how anyone could criticize someone who started eating cocaine at the age of 11.

Just then, Drew began to waiver in and out of Chris’ mind for the first time. How’d she get in there? Then out?

This after after party he and Brad were hosting was weirder than usual. Drew was a real person.

Chris sure liked these néw tiny coffees. Boy did they go by fast tho.

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Looking in the mirror, Chris’ found his nightmare coming true. He woke up more perfect than the day before. Chris neared a panic. He needed to pull himself together, but wasn’t that part of the problem!? UGH! What was he doing?!?

That’s when Chris just stopped believing in winning all together. Like Santa Clause, it was fun to a point. Then it seemed cruel. Now, it just doesn’t really make sense. It was also really, really, REALLY expensive.

How was it you had to lie to make money to buy Christmas gifts AND to give them?!? NO THK U.

UGGGHHH. It was official. Winning, perfection and Santa Clause all sucked donkey butt. GREAT. Now what?

Maybe Brad would suck his butt? That would be nice.

Right after watching the show Brad got a text from Chris with his review. “Nailed it.” Minutes later they nailed eachother in the dressing room. Both were thankful it was opening night. Brad said it would be from here on as well. Chris was bummed. He thought it would be hammer time. That’s when Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke piped in and said according to the footage on his phone, they each screwed over the other twice already. It shouldn’t be a big deal what they call it. That’s when Brad asked Luke how he got in the dressing room. Chris asked how harsh the shadows looked on film. The make up mirrors weren’t the best. Luke said the door was open, not bad and that he needed a ride home. Luke ended his date immediately after this wretched gay Flashdance show he was taken to. Unforgivable. This little sex show on the other hand, Luke could get used to. What were Brad and Chris doing backstage anyway? Chris was floored. “HELLLOOO!!! Luke. U just filmed it.”

Chris didn’t want to answer the question. Then he found himself saying fat instead of puffy. That shoot ended quickly. Y didn’t he say puffy?!? ARG!!!

Chris stopped to look around. Whew. No gay pirates. He really didn’t need this day 2get anymore awkward. At least he jumpstarted sensitivity training 4 the Tampa shoot. There would be no puffy coats there either. Thank god. They really freaked Chris out.

BTWs - the best part about Tampa... inexpensive earrings. Ohhh that’s a “Just The Fashion Tip.” Someone text that somewhere.

Trevor Signorino by Marco Ovando 2020