I Am In An Open Relationship And My Boyfriend Texted Me Today That He Made Out With One Of His Friends.

I am in an open relationship and my boyfriend texted me today that he made out with one of his friends.

And honestly, I do not mind at all? I was totally okay with me, don't get me wrong, but I still thought I would kinda care about it. But I really just don't.

I literally do not care?? Which is pretty nice.

Tw: mention of sh

Everything that is in my head is relapse, I can't stop thinking about it...

Why dies it have to feel this good to cut myself? Why dies it help me so much short term?

Being fetishized is making me feel terrible.

Texting with another dude, he is 27 and got my snap from my former roommate

1. He doesn't respect that I am a man. Like, a dude. A guy. Yes I am trans, and? I am a trans man.

But he said he always wanted to fuck a *insert slur for trans people in german*

And

2. He was like so gross and wanted me and my former roommate to make out and fuck because he is into 2 girls fucking.

I am literally not a girl and I do not wanna fuck her, thank you very much.

Ufff. Why???

Tw: mention of ed

Getting told I am not the overweight one of the two of us makes me want to cry.

Yeah, I am overweight, but I am trying so hard to not starve myself. At times I still puke up all I ate that day and try to make myself feel smaller. Prettier.

I am trying so hard not to fall back into old habits and eat nothing but an apple for weeks and faint in the middle of the street again.

I am trying so hard to stabilize my eating and get to a healthy amount.

I didn't need my best friend to remind me that I am overweight, fat and gross.

I already know and I am trying so hard to accept that. To try and loose weight the normal, healthy way.

Not to pick apart ever food, count calories, starve and puke.

I am trying so hard, but I don't think I can after this.

There is something beautiful about actually feeling loved.

After talking, after having an actual talk, he told me he loves me, and I could belive it.

It was hard, but I could belive it. And I love him too. More than I want to. More than he knows.

I won't get addicted to him. I won't make him my whole world because I shouldn't. Because it is bad. Because it is sick and because it hurts both of us. Not just me, and I want to keep him safe. Even if it is from me.

I'm also learning to understand him. I am learning to understand the way he acts. Why he does or doesn't do things.

It's beautiful, this slowly building connection.

Tw: tiny mention of drugs

"The chicken can wait"

I love my boyfriend, getting me to go to sleep and not cook myself chicken at 1 am.

He's so funny and cute. I like him, hihi :)

Also, I'm high and that's why I need chicken now.