Tw: Slight Mention Of Sh

Tw: slight mention of sh

I want to tell him how much he is improving my quality if life but I don't want to be annoying...

I fucking started sewing again?? I am making my own clothes and patches and I started studying again.

And it's okay. He even passively stopped me from relapsing soooo many times.

I see my wounds healing and I am okay-ish with it. He tells me I'm pretty. He tells me he likes me. And I kind of belive him.

I want to tell him all of that. I want to tell him that he is really helping me by just existing the way he is.

He makes me feel safe and protected and better.

Me normally watching a YouTube video: :)

The video being about someone with my deadname: what the fuckk??? ○_○

My heart is hurting and I feel like he doesn't care right now. But I also know that I am wrong. He does care and he has his own life.

I don't want to overwhelm him, I don't want to be too much. And that's okay for me. I can love the normal amount. Or at least try to.

The rain is making things better. It's calming me. But I still wish we could cuddle.

It's hard reassuring myself that he still likes me because It's hard for me to like myself. And that's okay. I just have to remember all the good things and the love I felt then.

I just haven't fully learned yet to let go. To let him be.

Maybe I should try not texting him as long as possible to give him some space??

If things don't change soon I'm gonna pull a Per Yngve "Pelle" Ohlin.

Someone please get the reference or I'm gonna cry even more

posting on tumblr cause i don’t have anyone to talk to, tired of burdening my fp with my feelings, it just pushes them further away, im so lonely.

I want to fall asleep while we are on a call.

He is still up and playing video games and I am slowly drifting off while listening to him.

Maybe I am in half sleep when he decides to also go to bed and tells me goodnight love and hangs up while I smile and fall completely asleep again.