burned0utstar

Finns thoughts

vent blog | Tw: sh, ed, suicide, sa | trying to heal | asks open

173 posts

I Try To Fill The Void He Left With Anything That Could Kill Me.

I try to fill the void he left with anything that could kill me.

I'll die before letting myself fall in love again.

More Posts from Burned0utstar

burned0utstar

6 months ago

When he says he's not good but he literally teaches me how to play guitar, kisses my scars, makes cute little Keychains, has a stuffie, kisses my nose and wore his hoodie so it would smell like him when he gave it to me.

Tags :

mental health vent blog relationship boyfriend getting better actually bpd Happy Happy! gay love in love mlm thoughts mlm love trans mlm gay mlm mlm ftm mlm gay yearning gayboy gay Queer lovers open relationship

27 notes View Post

burned0utstar

6 months ago

He had a wild night and slept with someone. I shouldn't feel bad, because we are in an open relationship, and I'm not angry or jealous, but...

But like, I want to be enough for him.

Tags :

mental health vent blog depressing shit vent post relationship boyfriend i wanna relapse so bad actually bpd open relationship

5 notes View Post

burned0utstar

6 months ago

I wanted us to last.

I wanted to actually try and maybe even succeed.

I wanted to be with him.

I wanted to not be the only one who fell.

Tags :

mental health vent blog depressing shit vent post ex relationship ex partner ex boyfriend ex actually bpd i wanna relapse so bad bpd thoughts bpd problems bpd vent queer yearning gay yearning borderline problems borderline fp actually borderline borderline blog borderline personality disorder borderline fp bpd bpd fp bpd favorite person HIM !!!! i miss him i miss what we had

38 notes View Post

burned0utstar

6 months ago

I can't so this anymore.

I just want it all to end.

Why does existing hurt so much? Why do I always lose?

I am trying my best but still nothing comes of it.

Nothing ever does.

Tags :

mental health vent blog depressing shit vent post actually bpd i wanna relapse so bad tw sui talk tw sui implied tw sui ideation suic1de suicide i want it all to end TW! help

4 notes View Post

burned0utstar

6 months ago

Am I still in love with him or do I just love him now?

I don't know...

It still hurts to think of what we had and how it all ended.

But I still for sure love him, as a person, as a friend, as someone who I trust.

But am I still in love with him??

I don't know, I don't think so. Not like I was.

I am a little bit in love with everyone who I ever was in love with.

They stay a part of me, but I think that's all. I think I'm not in love with him anymore.

I want things to be normal between us again. To be friends, joke around, tell secrets, drink and laugh and cry and cuddle.

Just that.

I really really want him back, as a friend.

Tags :

mental health vent blog depressing shit vent post relationship boyfriend actually bpd getting better bpd thoughts borderline fp fp bpd bpd fp bpd vent bpd problems bpd borderline problems actually borderline ex ex relationship borderline blog borderline personality disorder borderline ex boyfriend friends lovers to friends love queer love

16 notes View Post