Update:

Update:

I'm so sorry about this and really don't want to hurt you, and there's a big chance you'll get hurt if we try to have a relationship together, I had a wonderful night with you last night and sorry for the makeout, it must have confused you, but it's nothing I regret, it was nice.

Sooo my gf "broke up with me" over text...

I transladed her message so please just help me analyze this thank you.

Hi honey I had called or sent a voicemail but I'm sitting in the meeting I love you so much but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship it's not that I don't love you it's just that I'm not sure of my feelings I love your closeness and your wonderful personality but I'm really in a period where I'm not stable to be with, we can talk more about that later today

My heart is broken but I love her so.

YAY^^

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

WE ARE ALMOST AT 100!!!

THANK YALL SO SO SO MUCH ♡♡

Why?

.

I love your post and profile can we talk?

Sure ^^

Im sorry that I currwntly dont post a lot but rn im just in a really dificult space.

TW: VENT

In February I relapsed with my sh I had at that point been clean for 4 months.

I felt at that point that I could never forgive myself for how the way that I had betrayed myself.

That's probably the point in my life where I have the most physical scars from.

I was also this 🤏 close to doing another attempt but I thankfully worked through it, because I don't want to die.

I'm just tired.

I'm so tierd.

Almost a month ago I got asked out by the girl I have been in love with for 4 years now, yesterday I visited her house for the first time and I slept at her place.

Her parents are angels and they seem to thankfully really like me :)

Me and My (then) gf went upstairs to sleep and we cuddled AND we also made out.

I thought that the evening went amazing and according to my sleep tracker I have never slept that good in my life basically.

But earlier today I got a message from her telling me that she's not ready for a relationship and all that stuff (look at my post from earlier today to read the message) so I'm absolutely heart broken.

When I got home I went straight to my room so that I could ignore life and when I went downstairs for dinner this is what happened:

My ugly ass stinking annoying brother did not have the brain capacity to understand the word STOP and my other brother called me fat, which to some people would not be that big of a deal but that is my biggest complex and even though through my ed I have lost almost 25kgs in the last 8 months and it's obvious when you look at me he still calls me fat...

I just realized how little I have lost... it's been 8 fucking months...

Also, my parents were shouting at each other and it was the last week of year 8...

I dont want summer break just yet.

Not because I like school because I really don't.

I just feel like making it to summer is an accomplishment and something I look forward to.

I forget that if you keep walking, no matter how slowly, what's in the horizon will come closer and someday you will be at your destination...