Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.
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Today In Review
Today in Review
Me: I have a lot of work to get done today, and people are depending on me. Oh shoot, I have two appointments that will interrupt my day too. I should probably get started.
Brain: Maybe you should panic and do nothing for four hours instead.
Me: ... well, no, if I plan and start n....
Brain: PANIC AND DO NOTHING FOR FOUR HOURS!!!
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More Posts from Enoughdonegone
I have two haters now. Achievement unlock?
When I met him, he lived with his folks in one of the small towns just outside of the city in which I live. It's a pretty cute town, but as you can imagine, I have some complicated feelings toward it.
Yesterday I spent some time there reading by the water. I've decided I will make peace with it. I will also spend time there, if I please, and not cower away from the prospect of running in to his parents or his sisters.
I am not ashamed, and I will not hide.
My pervert uncle is still here; it's been a month.
Confession: The muscle memory of being constantly on edge I'm fairly certain is causing me to regress. As in reverting to hating myself and contemplating unblocking him sort of regression.
I am just, so tired.
I nearly did.
On Wednesday I had a flashback as I was walking into therapy.
It was the first few days of January in 2016 and he was confronting me about my transgressions. He had found a letter I had written to Rapist. I think I've told this story before, but reliving it this time made me drop like a tonne of bricks.
He asked what the deal was with Rapist and what he did to make me hate him so much.
I was cornered, so I told him. Telling anyone is hard, but telling someone who is unreservedly hostile and violent? He had just closed a door on my arm and kept pushing on it. It bruised purple immediately.
This was one of the hardest moments of my life ever.
After telling him I collapsed ( literally) into tears. He came over to me real gentle like as though he was going to comfort me. He whispered real softly and real close to my ear "you know, it would really make it better if you just killed yourself."
I felt his hot breathe on my ear on Wednesday.