Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.
794 posts
I Nearly Did.
I nearly did.
On Wednesday I had a flashback as I was walking into therapy.
It was the first few days of January in 2016 and he was confronting me about my transgressions. He had found a letter I had written to Rapist. I think I've told this story before, but reliving it this time made me drop like a tonne of bricks.
He asked what the deal was with Rapist and what he did to make me hate him so much.
I was cornered, so I told him. Telling anyone is hard, but telling someone who is unreservedly hostile and violent? He had just closed a door on my arm and kept pushing on it. It bruised purple immediately.
This was one of the hardest moments of my life ever.
After telling him I collapsed ( literally) into tears. He came over to me real gentle like as though he was going to comfort me. He whispered real softly and real close to my ear "you know, it would really make it better if you just killed yourself."
I felt his hot breathe on my ear on Wednesday.
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More Posts from Enoughdonegone
When I met him, he lived with his folks in one of the small towns just outside of the city in which I live. It's a pretty cute town, but as you can imagine, I have some complicated feelings toward it.
Yesterday I spent some time there reading by the water. I've decided I will make peace with it. I will also spend time there, if I please, and not cower away from the prospect of running in to his parents or his sisters.
I am not ashamed, and I will not hide.
Choked
It occurred to me recently that if I was still with him I would never have been able to take this job.
I work weekends and incredibly long hours some days. It's not a dream job or the end game, but it is definitely a very useful stepping stone.
He would not have cared about that. He would have looked at the hours and told me I couldn't take it. Then he would have scolded me for not progressing.
He wanted the tree to blossom but kept poisoning the roots.
Tension
My uncle the Pedophile left today.
Every part of me is exhaling.
Someone call River Laurent. Tell them that 1995 called and they want their horrible trope back.
@staff do you not have a toothpaste ad or something? Why do you keep showing me this horrible shit?
