Support System - Tumblr Posts

It's Fine.

I think the hardest thing I've encountered recently is the expectation that I be 'fine' now.

It's been almost a year since I was cut off, and I was very lucky to have a group of people who were there to catch me. They helped me wake up and come to terms with what that meant.

In the last year I have made progress; some of it inconceivable. But my shitty days are SHITTY and my hang ups are not gone.

I'm involved in a show an acquaintance of mine is organising to raise money for a mental health charity. The fb group is posting individual profiles of each collaborating artist.

I lost it when I found out. I hate pictures of myself, first and foremost, but him seeing the picture and knowing where i might be at some point is making me sweat. I asked politely to not be showcased; they obliged, but not without a raised eyebrow. The admin is a friend of mine, and she knows the story. She's absolutely empathetic, but it seemed like she thinks I should be passed this.

I'd love to be. And I'd also love to jump right in and start dating again like everyone keeps suggesting. You know, as if that would solve so many of my issues. While I have come to the conclusion that celebacy isn't my end goal, i am not ready to get out there. Remember that little attempt i made in May? Didn't exactly go well. Doesn't change popular opinion though. It's been long enough they say. It's time.

I also see my support system less and less. I like solitude, but there are times when i feel crushingly alone.

But it's been a year, and they all have their own troubles and I should be well enough to handle the worst moments even with my own conviction.

And I do. But I wonder how many of my old habits are creeping back in. The internalizing, the self loathing, the self destruction, the recklessness. It may be the fall out from my uncle being here, but i feel colder than i have in a while.

It's like my humanity is ebbing away again. And at times i feel i haven't progressed at all.

When he kicked me out initially and I dragged my shamed, mortified, and heartbroken ass to my parents place, I spent days in bed with silent tears rolling down my face.

I don't remember going to work, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's a blur.

But something broke up the monotony of misery. My dad knocked on the door and handed me a care package that had been dropped off. It had fuzzy socks, chocolate, and two movies.

I was basically inconsolable at this point and still very much under his spell. But this brought me a bit out of my fog. It was a thoughtful gesture that really meant the world to me.

I repeat, friendship is a vastly underrated relationship.

Friendship is a vastly underrated relationship.

I started reading this series and it really broke my heart.  Even without knowing all the context for why their relationship ended the pain it has brought onto the reader and JK have been so vividly described it is amazing.  

                    ❪  💜  MASTERLIST :  ❫  ghost in my bed

Jeon Jungkook was your best friend, your boyfriend, your everything. Once upon a time, you were his, too. But like everything else in life, things change. You just never thought those changes would take your everything away.

alt summary.  Sometimes, hating someone is the only thing you can do.

pairing.  jjk x named f!reader plus a lil bit of jhs x named f!reader.  e2l (exes n enemies!).

genre + rating.  rockstar!au.  a heavy, heavy dose of angst, some fluff (or romance) maybe later on, and eventuaaal smut maybe.  general with explicit chapters (*) marked.

tags / warnings.  past infidelity, (referenced) cheating, jealousy, drinking, driving under the infuence, (referenced) drug use, childhood sweethearts turned sad sacks, actual heartthrob jungkook, (referenced) car accident, jeon jungkook is a lil shit, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don’t be silly!), creampie, an inappropriate use of a mirror, etc.  :’)

wc.  16.2k.  ongoing.

author note.  n/a.

moodboard

vogue article

prologue

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

drabble:  mirrors *

Life update for the void;

My friend is coming back!!!!

He dropped out of our school a few years ago but he’s coming back so I’ll see him more than twice a year now!!! And he’s trying to meet up so he can do my nails

I’ll probably post about him a bit because I’m so worried he needs a support system rn and so I need to be a friend and a good one

I’m really worried because I sometimes have off days that last for weeks or even months and I feel like I can’t get flaky on him

If anyone has had experience with this either trying to give support or being the one coming back please share

how to preserve your mental health at school

School is probably one of the most mentally taxing things a teen can go through. It certainly is mine. With the pressure to be the best, to get ahead, and to generally succeed, it's hard to not be affected. The mental strain is unavoidable, and I struggled with it for most of my school years, but over time that has led me to find tips that could help anyone going through this cope.

There are a few signs that can tell you whether or not you are being severely affected. You might be unmotivated and apathetic throughout the school day, and just because of school itself. You might feel like crying in school during the whole day and every day. Reasons can range from academic pressure to bullying and social ostracization to feeling inferior to your over achieving classmates.(If it's bullying, please tell someone who can help you) But here's some tips that might help based on what I learned from experience:

Find a piece of comfort (that you can come back to whenever you feel bad) .It can be a show, anime, song , movie, fanfic, manga , book, food, piece of clothing, or really just about anything (my recs are saiki k, ghibli songs and movies) . It’s best to have multiple just in case you get too used to 1 of them.

Get a support system: the way you can get this may differ based on your specific problem but here’s some ideas : make new friends offline or online (best app is slowly) and strengthen your existing relationships with friends and family.

Find a 3rd place which is not electronic: A third place is any public area away from homes and school/work ,where people meet and interact in an open environment. But the real challenge is not making your 3rd place your device .It's hard but here are some ideas for a 3rd place : libraries, arcades, gym, yoga place, sport club, skateparks, playgrounds, parks, coffee shops and cafes, bodegas. Make sure to choose a place where you feel comfortable. 

Get enough sleep: being tired will just make you feel so much worse. Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep. Just to make it extra too, listen to some calming music, light candles and wear your fanciest sleepwear.

Put your mind on other things and focus on finding things that'll make you proud of yourself: You could get new hobbies, especially creative ones since those allow you to express yourself easily. Some examples are crocheting, embroidery, drawing, painting, sculpting, pottery, dancing, writing music, performance art and writing (stories, poetry, essays)

Take a leap of faith: create or design something based on your interests and skills and share it with the world. This can develop into being your own personal extracurricular activity. It might be scary but that's what makes it so rewarding in the end.

1) Video editing : post videos on your favorite subject and post on tiktok or youtube 2) Fashion and Photography : take pictures of yourself wearing cute clothes (or just your fav ones) and post them on your social media 3) Painting and Sustainability : paint an exhibit and display it in public 4) Volunteering and Social Media: make and run the official Instagram account of a local business 5) Gaming : make a game on roblox 6) Reading: start a book review blog These are just a few pretty ambitious ideas. You don’t have to follow these. Create your own project, it all depends on who you are. Take the best out of all of you (pieces of your soul) and create a masterpiece. If you don't have any interests (post on tips coming soon) just make something out of your skills . Make sure to only take on a project if you have time and resources.

Lastly, this is a tip I got from Quora. It’s to make a slow nights document. You can write this down on paper or open a doc and write down your comforts, favorite movie, favorite art pieces, places you’d like to go in the future, what you think your life will be in 10 years and so on. Just write things that will make you you.

School can make you feel drained, insecure and hurt for so many reasons. It may end up in you being numb and apathetic. In most cases, the problems you have can’t be solved by just forcing yourself to look at the bright side or forcing yourself to avoid or ignore them. They are real issues. And when asking for tips on the internet isn’t enough, I hope this post will help you. It probably didn’t solve all your problems, but I hope it showed you a way to go. Thank you for reading and Good Luck