enoughdonegone

It's Not Fine.

Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.

794 posts

Some If It You Never Get Back, Either.

Some if it you never get back, either.

I think all of us who went thru long term abuse we were unable to escape from had to tear out pieces of ourselves, of our mental health, physical health, emotional health, our integrity, our personality, our life, just to stay alive, we had to trade parts of ourselves for our life and that is not something you ever forget or recover from.

More Posts from Enoughdonegone

enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Candles

It's his birthday today. I nearly forgot.

Tags :

progress healing birthday washing away recovery surivor surviving abusive ex

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Damper

It was bound to happen eventually. Truthfully I was expecting it to happen sooner, so I guess my surprise comes from having dodged it this long.

I flipped shit while in the process of having sex last night.

I couldn't even look at her. Even when I did to assure her that I was alright (I wasn't) I looked through her. I couldn't explain what happened; I still can't.

In the positive category, she did everything she was supposed to. She ceased immediately when she realized something was wrong. She held me, left me alone when i needed it, and then held me again when I needed that. She's supportive though a bit ( understandably) bewildered.

She keeps asking what she did that triggered me. I think I'm most upset that I don't know what happened, and despite my "You didn't do anything wrong" she knows that I can't say definitively that it wasn't something she did.

Tags :

PTSD cptsd panic flashback meltdown fresh start recovery is not linear domestic abuse domestic violence abusive ex dv recovery mental health abuse long arm's reach step back

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Wrong

I thought that being with someone else would help me think of him less.

It hasn't really.

Despite understanding theoretically that 13 years of deep rooted programming doesn't just rectify itself in a few short months, in actuality it's... a little upsetting.

Tags :

recovery is not linear healing survivor abuse survivor dv survivor abusive ex PTSD cptsd long arm's reach enough im done ✔ Im gone

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enoughdonegone

5 years ago

About a year ago he stopped texting me, after months of one-sided harassment.

Today I am all fucked up about it. Today I am stressed and restless and hurt and angry and sad and mourning my past and what I thought I had.

And I don’t know how to explain any of it.

Tags :

Milestones i hate this i hate everything PTSD cptsd recovery healing one year Today is not a good day dv survivor abusive ex

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enoughdonegone

6 years ago

Reminder: It’s been 74 weeks of no contact.

I am still here carving out a future of my own.

And I can breathe freely now.

Every day I remind myself that I should mourn for the past I lost to him and not the future I think I’ve lost without him.

Tags :

my future is brighter without him healing recovery progress enough im done ✔ Im gone PTSD cptsd dv suvivor abuse survivor surviving I can breathe now 74 weeks no contact recovery is not linear reblog from self

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